- NND ---------------------------------------------------------
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holy joe confesses
Today I turned on the news and I see that, once again, we Americans
are being stripped of our rights. In addition to baseball games where
women are allowed to carry in a handbag but no man can (talk about
sexism), I see America is now terrorized by white powder. So-called
�hoaxes� in Florida, related to white powder, are guaranteeing their
�perpetrators� felony convictions and a decade in prison.
Currently I am in Florida. I am looking for work, so I am travelling
around the state to that end. (So far, no luck. No preschool, it seems,
wants to hire me.) I hate to put myself in line for a prison term, but I
hate even more seeing us Americans strip ourselves of our freedoms.
Uh, guys. I have dandruff. This is probably the source of the white
powder �hoaxes� you have been experiencing. I know it seems rather odd
that the world�s sole superpower can be terrified of one lone hobo with a
scalp problem, but this is apparently the case.
Please, America. Do not be afraid of my dandruff. Do not use it as
an excuse to kill more children in Afghanistan. Haven�t we already killed
enough children in Iraq? Of course, those weren�t white children... but
still, you would think we would have some respect for them.
I will try to solve my scalp problem. God knows, I guess I have to.
I�m planning to look for work in Washington D.C. if I can�t find anything in
Florida, and I would hate to see our nation�s capitol more terrorized than
it already is. I was planning to tour the White House, but I wouldn�t want
our president to have to go and hide in Nebraska again, just because I came
by with my dandruff problem.
Recently I was going to try to solve my body odor problem with Arm
and Hammer�s baking soda, but I guess that�s out. God forbid, I�d probably
launch Armageddon if I wandered around Washington with dandruff plus
baking soda.
30
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