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Andrew Roller Presents
NAUGHTY NAKED DREAMGIRLS
in
BIKINI BRIGADE
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Chapter Twenty-Two
I awoke. I realized, with a start, that I�d been sleeping. I felt a tug
on my arm. I glanced over at it and saw little Pauline pulling on me.
�Look!� Pauline whispered. She pointed out of the alcove we were
sitting in. Beyond, in the throne room, sitting on his throne, was Licorice
Lad! And sitting on his lap was Katie!
I stifled an urge to call out to her. As I gazed at them, I realized
that Katie and Licorice Lad were kissing. French kissing.
�What�re they doing?� Pauline asked me.
�Never mind,� I answered. �You�ll find out soon enough.� I felt the
gun in my hands. Did I dare to try it? The four little peanuts had been
dismissed, their job half done, apparently so Licorice Lad and Katie could
kiss in private. Their paint buckets sat on a mat at the far end of the
room.
�Oh, Licorice Lad, I LOVE you!� Katie said, breaking from her kiss
with him. �And licorice is my favorite candy!�
I watched with disgust as Licorice Lad put his hand into the back of
her panties. Why were they black?
�Yes, my sweet. Licorice is a very fine candy. And you have a very
fine bottom,� Licorice Lad said to Katie. �Have you been bad lately?�
�Oh, no, Licorice Lad, my love,� Katie said. �I would never be bad for
you.�
Licorice Lad palmed Katie�s bottom, making her squirm.
�But if I wished you to be bad, then you would be?� Licorice Lad
asked. They kissed again, briefly.
�Oh, yes, Licorice Lad! I would be the very baddest girl of all!� Katie
said. Their lips meshed again, and I heard the disgusting sound of a deep,
prolonged kiss.
I looked down at Pauline.
�We must do something!� I said to her.
�Yes! He looks like he�s giving her mouth to mouth restitution, but
he ISN�T!� Pauline said.
�No, he isn�t,� I agreed. One didn�t need to feel the victim�s bottom
in order to revive a swimmer from drowning. �Okay, here�s the plan,� I
whispered to Pauline. I felt my gun with my palm. �On the count of three,
we�ll jump out of the Peppermint Portal. And I�ll aim my gun right at
Licorice Lad�s pimply face and hope my gun works. And I want you to
shout, very loudly, �We�re the Bikini Brigade�!�
�Then what do we do?� Pauline asked. For a 6-year-old, she was
pretty smart.
�I dunno,� I said, realizing what a weak plan I had. I listned as Katie
and Licorice Lad continued their kiss. �But it�s all I can think of. Perhaps
it will have some kind of effect on Katie. Or maybe my gun will work.
There�s really no other hope for us.�
�Oh, I hope my Daddie�s still alive!� Pauline said.
�I do too,� I answered.
I made the count slowly, hoping to come up with another plan.
�One... two... three.� I said. Pauline and I burst from the alcove of the
Peppermint Portal. �We�re the Bikini Brigade!� I cried. Aiming my gun at
Licorice Lad, I fired.
�ACKCK!� the boy shouted. I hit him square on his nose. But only
cream came out of my gun. Even if it had been marshmellow goop, I
suppose it wouldn�t have been any more effective. �Dratted girl! I�ve
found you! Couldn�t stay hidden, eh?� Licorice Lad yelled. He glared at me.
Then his face brightened, a little. �And who�s that you�ve brought with
you, hmmm?�
�We�re the Bikini Brigade!� Pauline said proudly. She put her hands
on her hips and stuck out her tummy.
�OHHHH-- I�m in the Bikini Brigade too!� Katie cried.
�Eh? Get back on my lap, you bitch!� Licorice Lad said to Katie. She
tried to get down off his legs. He pulled at her. She pushed at him. The
big candied turban on top of his head tottered, then fell to the floor. It
shattered into a million pieces. Katie dropped to the floor and came
running toward us. �I�m in the Bikini Brigade too!� Katie cried. There was
a confused look on her face.
I fired my gun at Licorice Lad again. It was still only cream. It hit
him in the face, another perfect shot, but he only wiped it away.
However, Katie seemed suddenly much more certain of herself. The
confusion in which she�d been embroiled just a moment before
disappeared.
�I�m Katie Pepperdine!� Katie announced, halfway between us and the
throne where Licorice Lad was sitting. She turned. She looked back at
Licorice Lad. She looked down at the candied turban, smashed upon the
floor and then up at him again. For his part, Licorice Lad seemed to be
trying to exert a hold over her mind, but it wasn�t working. �...And I HATE
licorice!� Katie yelled.
�Katie! Come quick! You�re in the Bikini Brigade!� I called to her.
�Yes! The Bikini Brigade!� Katie cried, turning and looking at me.
�I�M in the Bikini Brigade,� she said again, and she looked at Pauline with
jealous eyes. The small girl grabbed my hips.
�We�re all in the Bikini Brigade, Katie,� I shouted. �And this is our
newest member, Pauline! Pauline Praline!� I fired my gun at the Licorice
Lad again. I hit him, again! But it was still only cream.
�ACKCK! The Sultan�s daughter!� Licorice Lad said. �Guards! Guards!
Come and arrest these bitches! They�re shooting me with cream!�
Suddenly, a voice was heard. It boomed out, way down in the depths
of the dungeon, like a gollum released suddenly from ancient captivity.
�Away with these chains!� it yelled.
�Good God! The Sultan!� Licorice Lad said. Panic engulfed his face.
He reached for the turban atop his head, then realized it had been smashed
in a million pieces upon the floor. �Guards! Guards!� Licorice Lad
shrieked.
�Yes, master?� a gingerman asked. He came hurrying with heavy
footsteps into the room.
�The Sultan has broken free!� Licorice Lad said. �I no longer have his
turban. My powers depended upon it!�
�Master, what can *I* do?� the gingerman gaped.
�Grab those bitches!� Licorice Lad said, pointing to myself and
Pauline and Katie. �I�ll have to deal with the Sultan myself, using my own
inherent abilities.�
�Damnable boy!� the Sultan roared. He appeared suddenly in the dark
doorway that led down to the dungeon.
�Daddie!� Pauline cried. She rushed from my side and out across the
room.
�Away, girl! I must deal with this ruffian first!� the Sultan yelled.
He motioned for Pauline not to approach him. She scurried behind his
throne.
Licorice Lad jumped down from the big throne. He grabbed one of the
tall candlesticks that lit up the room. It was heavy, but he managed it
well, with a strength I had not imagined he possessed. His black cape
fluttered behind him as he swung it at the Sultan.
The candlestick hit the Sultan on his arm with a heavy thud. The old
man was lucky. Had he not lifted his arm, the candlestick would have
connected with his head.
�OW! Curses!� the Sultan cried, wincing. Licorice Lad swung again.
The Sultan raised his arm again, just in time, and suffered another blow.
�Fie on this piece of shit!� Licorice Lad shouted. He threw the
candlestick aside. It went clattering behind him, almost taking Pauline
with him as it rolled across the floor. Pauline darted for safety up into
her father�s throne and sat perched on its seat, looking quite small.
�I shall make use of the Existential Power to destroy you once and
for all, old man!� Licorice Lad cried. He extended his hands out in front of
himself.
�The Existentia--� the Sultan asked, seemingly of the room. A black
blast flung itself from the tips of Licorice Lad�s fingers and engulfed the
old man. He went hurtling backward, into the doorway of the dungeon, and
fell down several stairs.
�Daddie!� Pauline, sitting in her father�s throne, screamed.
�Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Yes, I�ve been learning, old man,� Licorice Lad
crowed. �I am Licorice Lad, the new Sultan of Candy--�
A white hot blast came from the opening that led down to the
dungeon. It threw Licorice Lad backward against the throne.
�Ack!� Licorice Lad cried. He looked dazed, but then recovered. �I
summon all the villains, thiefs, and robbers,� Licorice Lad cried. �Come to
Licorice Lad! Come! Fly through the air if you must! All of you, come!�
Nothing happened. Licorice Lad gazed about himself. All was as
before, with Pauline cowering on the seat of her father�s throne, and her
father groaning, now, in the dark place that led down to the dungeon. I
saw one of his hands above the top step. Then his head raised up above it.
Immediately Licorice Lad flung a new blast of dark radiation from the tips
of his fingers. The Sultan shrieked and his head was seen no more.
�Yes, old man, feel my power!� Licorice Lad shouted. �Is that you I
hear groaning down there?� A pitiful old man�s moan emanted from the
stairway leading down underground. �I have won! I am the new Sultan!�
Licorice Lad said.
Pauline leaned out over the armrest of her father�s throne. Suddenly
she flung herself onto Licorice Lad�s head, from behind. She clawed at his
face with her small fingers.
�Oh, you! Stop hoiting my Daddy!� Pauline cried.
�Aghh! Get off me, you little imp!� Licorice Lad yelled.
There was the sound of a horse-drawn coach clattering up the great
hall. A team of Clydesdales came galloping into the throne room.
�The royal coach!� I gasped.
�The one we rode in!� Katie said.
�Master, we have arrived, though how quickly, I do not know,� the
driver atop the carriage announced. The door on the side of the carriage
opened. A small dwarf jumped down. He was holding a gun, just like mine,
and he waved it about with a flourish.
�Oh, I�m big, bad Tommy the troll!
Do you think me droll?
Then I�ll shoot you right through to your soul
Because I�m big, bad Tommy the troll.
The very terrible troll!� the troll sang. He advanced on the throne,
which sat empty now, as Pauline battled Licorice Lad, digging into his
eyes with her fingers.
�Damnable bitch! Guards! Guards!� Licorice Lad cried.
�Silence, fool!� Tommy yelled. He fired his gun at Licorice Lad. To
my heart-beating surprise, the marshmellow goop stuck to the boy, and to
Pauline too, enmeshing them both together in a big, messy blob of
marshmellow.
Tommy walked up to the royal throne. He regarded it a moment, with
a broad smile. Then he climbed up onto it. He beamed at us.
�Yes, slaves, regard your new Sultan. The Sultan of all Candyland!�
the troll announced to us.
Suddenly a blast of white fire shot out from the doorway that led
down to the dungeon.
�YEEK!� the troll cried. He and the entire throne went toppling
sideways to the floor.
�I AM the Sultan!� Pauline�s dad announced. With a newfound sense
of power, he strode from the doorway leading down to the dungeon. The
troll aimed his marshmellow gun at the Sultan and fired.
The gun had no effect.
�Troll, regard your king!� the Sultan said to Tommy.
�Yikes!� Tommy cried. He fired his gun again and, although a
powerful jet of marshmellow goop shot out of it, it only evaporated
against the Sultan, like so much air.
�There they are! The girls! Grab them!� I heard a woman cry. I
glanced toward the open doorway that led into the great hall.
�Omigod! Child Protective Services!� Katie cried. She flung herself
against me. For my part, I backed into the peppermint colored alcove. I
brandished my gun at the three women, plus the man who was with them.
They ran at us.
�Stop, humans!� the Sultan cried. But he seemed to have no power,
or no wish, to stop them, for he did not use his powerful white rays upon
them.
�One... two... three... four... five. Five!� I cried, punching my finger
into each of the fingers in the hand. The Peppermint Portal began
throbbing.
It was no use, I felt. There was a quivering sensation in my body, as
if I might go someplace, as if the portal was warming itself up to take me
there, and Katie along with me, but Ms. Matilda Brunswald was running
toward us, at top speed, and she would be in the portal within seconds.
Suddenly a pink glow engulfed the room. There was a sound, very
loud, as of enormous energy being released.
�Eeeeyah!� Matilda cried. Her whole body stopped in mid-stride. She
clawed at the air. The pink glow continued, heating the air. The Sultan
looked puzzled.
�My Candification machine! It has reached climax!� the troll lying on
the floor announced.
�Eeeyah! I�m turning to candy!� Ms. Matilda Brunswald yelled. She
continued to grope at the air and, behind her, so did her three companions,
Affidavit Al, Wilma Writ, and Glenda Guilty.
�We�re all turning into candy!� Glenda said.
�I�m-- I�m becoming a yummie person!� Al said. He smelled his arm,
then under his arm pit. �A very yummie person!�
The quivering in my body deepened. I clutched at Katie. She was
already holding me and she gripped me even tighter.
We awoke in my jeep. I looked at her. She looked at me. We gazed
up at the trees overhead. There were no candy apples hanging in the
branches. Just pine cones.
�Katie! We�re home!� I cried.
�Try the engine!� Katie said. I did. And when I turned the key, the
engine started, and with it my dream came to a complete end, and I awoke.
THE END
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