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I HAVE SINNED !
Dear God,
You warned me of the penalty. You tried to save me. You did your
best.
It is I who failed.
Oh, what a worthless shit I am! How lazy, how indolent! I could have
done the right thing, but instead I chose to do the wrong thing.
I saw the warning which you so amply and explicitly provided me
with. I read it, way back in March. Right there, on the last page of the
April 1998 Club Confidential: �Next issue on sale March 31st.�
I have no excuse. It is entirely my fault, Lord. What a sinner I am--
to sit at home jacking off over the old issue of Club Confidential, when
the new one was already out on the newsstand !
I went down to Tower Books on Monday, Lord. On Monday, April 13th.
I went to Tower Books to buy Club Confidential. And it was sold out!
AUGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGH!
God, your divine punishment for my laziness is so harsh! Not only did
I miss the new issue of Club Confidential, I was forced to buy the very
last copy of Mayfair!
Heavenly God! You know how I hate to get stuck with the last copy of
a magazine. It�s always dented, beat-up, wrinkled, and coated with sweat
from the palms of all the guys who read it for free! Yuck!
But I bought it Lord, because this month�s Mayfair is truly a fabulous
issue. Allow me to warn other sinners of its greatness, Lord, so they
don�t waste time yanking their wieners when they should be down at
Tower Books:
Mayfair, June 1998, $5.99. E-mail: mayfair@pr-org.co.uk
Review: This magazine used to cost $6.99 in America. Now it only
costs $5.99. Undoubtedly the reason is because more guys are buying it,
and instead of being an expensive import, Mayfair is becoming a regular
American magazine.
Woe to any of my American buddies who miss this month�s issue!
The cover is bright yellow. On the cover is a picture of a blonde. Her name
is Sabrina. She has an excellent face and spectacular bosoms. She is
wearing a skimpy white t-shirt with wonderfully big arm holes, letting
the viewer peer at her glorious cleavage. Just to make sure you don�t miss
the chance to view her assets, Sabrina is yanking on her t-shirt, pulling it
away from her chest and making those big armholes in her shirt even
bigger. There is nothing better than a girl with big bosoms, wearing a t-
shirt. Especially when the shirt is unable to conceal her tits, such that
her bosoms are bulging out through the shirt�s armholes!
Are you in the �porn� business? Do you want to be? Take a look at
the cover of this month�s Mayfair. Guys, this is what SELLS. If you put a
blonde like Sabrina on the cover of your magazine, especially in a skimpy
white t-shirt, you will make lots of money.
Sabrina is probably the most gorgeous female to appear in porn
magazines this year. Everything about her is perfect. Her face, her
bosoms, her hips, her legs. Everything. She is truly a perfect blonde.
You would think a blonde like Sabrina would be well placed in life.
You know, married to a billionaire. Until recently, though, this perfect
blonde was forced to make her living standing out in the cold!
Sabrina lists her profession as �hostess.� Mayfair asks her:
Mayfair: What sort of hostess are you exactly?
Sabrina: I work in a club that�s... how can I put this... of an adult
nature?
Mayfair: A �strip club� you mean?
Sabrina: ... Yes!
Mayfair: So what does being a hostess... involve?
Sabrina: I used to be the one at the entrance asking guys to come in
and see the show, but nowadays I walk around inside checking everybody is
happy and making sure they�ve all got drinks.
Mayfair: So, do you like your job?
Sabrina: It beats the door work -- it�s a lot warmer inside!
See what I mean? Unbelievable! It�s shocking to think a girl as
perfect as Sabrina was forced to stand outside in the cold, being, in
effect, a human billboard. But she is quite happy working indoors. Sabrina
says: �The place is just sex central. All us girls [in the club] are, if not
totally nude, wearing very little. Some days I go in and spend the whole
day feeling turned on. It�s the smell, the atmosphere, the whole thing can
really get you going.� (Pages 7, 10.)
Wow. Imagine that. Sabrina walking around, mixing with the
customers, not only nude but sexually excited! For hours! And a totally
perfect blonde, too. Someday I�m going to string up some Christmas lights
outside my dumpster and call it a �club.� Then maybe I�ll get some girls
in here!
Unfortunately, Mayfair doesn�t say which club Sabrina works at. But
I�m sure if you e-mail them, they�ll be happy to tell you.
Right, Mayfair?
Alas, Claire Cass�s pictorial didn�t appeal to me as much as I�d
hoped. The last two pages are great, and the centerfold is passable, but
the other pages lacked the �fantasy element� that�s usually included in a
Clair Cass pictorial. I will never forget Claire as an innocent art student,
and as a naughty nurse. Sadly, this issue she�s not anything.
So, once again, it falls upon holy joe to give porn some zest. Here�s
my suggestion: Mayfair should make Claire Cass a *reluctant* dominatrix.
They should pose her with an innocent young blonde. Claire should pretend
to punish the blonde, but, since she�s a new dominatrix, she does it very
tenderly and rather bashfully. Include in her pictorial things like: a riding
crop, a dildo, and an enema bag.
On page 43 Mayfair recommends the Playboy (?) video �Girls in
Uniform.� I haven�t seen that one, but the nurse in the photo Mayfair
prints from the video is very hot!
At the back of this issue is a lengthy article on sex games. Pauline,
age 26, tells Mayfair: �Martin [my fiancee] made a list of 52 different
sexual activities, each of which is matched to a particular card. The two
of clubs is missionary, the three of diamonds is standing up facing each
other in the shower, all the jacks are to do with wanking, the four queens
are variations on him eating my pussy, the kings are variations on me
sucking his cock, and so on.
�...We usually leave the jokers in the pack -- they mean a ban on any
kind of genital contact, including wanking ourselves, for six hours.
There�s nothing like having to wait for a fuck to make you appreciate it!
�As I read through the list for the first time, I noticed it included
anal sex. I�d always [refused to let] Martin fuck me up the bum, even
though the thought of it really turned me on! ...
�That card -- the Ace of Spades... was hanging over my arse every
time we played! We both knew it had to come up sooner or later. It finally
did one night...
�I didn�t say a word. I just knelt down, then reached back and pulled
my bumcheeks apart. Then I smiled back at him over my shoulder and told
him I wasn�t leaving the bed until my arse had been well and truly fucked.�
(Page 90.)
Wow! As you can see, I feel very, very lucky to have bought the last
copy of Mayfair, even if it was all dented. How I wish Mayfair would print
more about that particular card game. I mean, how is it played? Why not
have Claire Cass and another girl act out all the positions on all 52 cards?
Mayfair could print, say, 12 card positions per issue. Where a cock is
needed, Claire or the other girl could strap on a dildo. I think many, many
people would greatly appreciate if Pauline and Martin�s card game was
made available, in all its intimate detail, to the public.
Also in the �sexy games� article in this month�s Mayfair is a
description of nude Twister. I think that would make a great pictorial too,
using several people.
(Incidentally, reading about �sexy games� in Mayfair caused me to
invent my own �sexy game.� I�ll print the full directions to it in a future
issue of FUCK DECENCY!)
(Just in case Senator Exon wants to play...)
Club, June 1998, $5.99. Paragon Publishing, Inc., P.O. Box 380, Sandy Hook,
CT 06482. No web site listed.
Review: When I saw the �next issue� ad in the back of the previous
issue of Club, I knew there was going to be something hot in this issue.
The ad had a photo in it of two girls, licking each other. But the thing
about it was that the clothes they were wearing seemed quite nice... like
clothes you might see on real pretty girls in real life.
Wow! �What Josie Did on Vacation,� page 55, is a stunning,
�breakthrough� pictorial. It even verges on fashion photography. But it
doesn�t forget to get �down and dirty� as the pictorial unfolds.
On page 55, we see Josie fully clothed, riding on an escalator. She�s
out shopping at the mall. How nice and natural she looks! Then, on page
56, in two lavish photos, we see her running across a real street, carrying
her shopping bag. We also see her talking on an outdoor pay phone. On page
57 things start to get steamy. We see a girl, playing the part of the man
in this romantic pictorial, sitting at home. She�s clothed, but her skirt is
up, her underwear is showing, and she�s got her hand shoved down in her
crotch. She�s talking to Josie on the phone. Her name is Zoe.
The final photo on page 57 shows Zoe showing up at Josie�s
apartment. How sweet and feminine Josie looks as she peeks round the
door of her apartment, greeting Zoe as Zoe lets herself in!
After this gorgeous introduction, the two girls �get down to
business.� But the pictorial still moves with a languid, easy slowness,
depicting them in their clothes for another two pages. Finally, after
kissing and caressing each other, Josie lifts Zoe�s skirt, showing off Zoe�s
white panties in what must be one of the hottest panty photos to cum out
this year! (I actually had to pull my own pants off to finish writing that
last sentence, it got me so hot!)
�Feel me, I�m two weeks pregnant,� Zoe tells her friend Josie on the
following page. Josie palms Zoe�s tummy, her face showing alarm. �Oh,
my wicked boyfriend! Can you believe he got me pregnant?� Zoe asks
Josie.
�Poor girl, to get knocked up like that,� Josie says. �But your tummy
still feels nice and flat. Let�s enjoy ourselves together. Who needs big
bad men in their lives, when they make you pregnant?�
�Right!� Zoe agrees. She�s so pleased by her friend�s answer that she
lets Josie yank her panties down. Then, with her panties hanging
uselessly at mid-thigh, Zoe bends over and licks Josie�s pussy.
Lying naked on the bed, both girls earnestly try to do away with
their need for men by fucking each other with their ample breasts. Alas,
it doesn�t work, and they finally must console each other with gentle
kisses, standing up next to the bed.
�It�s too bad men have to get us pregnant,� Josie whispers to Zoe in
the final shot, as Zoe uses her tongue where only a man�s penis can do a
proper job.
�Yes,� Zoe agrees. �Why don�t you let my boyfriend get you pregnant
too? Then, with a little luck, we can deliver our babies together!�
God, what a great pictorial! It marks a first for Club and, indeed, for
any porno magazine. Never before has there been such a fashionable girl-
girl pictorial in the history of porn! At last girls thinking about posing in
a magazine like Club can fulfill their dream of being a real fashion model,
while still being a sex nymph too! (I�d say �sex goddess,� but Josie and Zoe
are just too slim and adorable to be goddesses!) (And thank God for that!)
�Our First Time,� is a very hot pictorial. It features a girl and a guy.
The girl writes: �It�s our first time together, and I�m nervous... but so
horny. We�ve been going steady a couple of months, and now I�m ready to
go all the way with him. I told my roomie I won�t be home tonight, and
he�s found us a room at a motel out of town. I know it�s gonna be a night
I�ll always remember...� (Page 99.)
AT LAST a porno magazine prints a clean, decent pictorial of two
people having sex. I got so tired of seeing crass men and women, who
looked like fucking meant nothing to them, getting it on. Here, in this
photo shoot, we see a young-looking girl gasp with surprise as she opens
wide to receive her first penis. (In her mouth!) She tries sucking him but
that apparently doesn�t work, because in the next photo she�s licking his
cock instead of trying to �deep throat� it.
Then, on the next page, the man makes the girl gasp even louder as he
suckles her virgin tits. Finally, she tries again to suck his cock, and does
fairly well, getting his head at least into her mouth. In the final pose she
opens her pussy to him, from behind, and he goes down on her.
My only regret about this pictorial, �Our First Time,� is that it
wasn�t long enough.
Another great pictorial in this issue is �Tammy, First Time Nude.�
(Page 5.) Tammy is a new co-ed at college. Her girlfriends invite her to
play a sexy card game. She loses a hand, and her punishment is to drink
Hershey�s Chocolate Syrup, straight from the bottle. She must drink the
syrup with her panties pulled down.
Poor Tammy! Little does she know that her new girlfriends have
stacked the deck! In a few minutes she�s back in her sorority�s kitchen
again, this time completely nude. She has to pour cooking oil onto her
bosoms and into her snatch.
�Help!� Tammy thinks, as she loses another round of cards. Back to
the kitchen she goes, and is forced to squirt Hershey�s Chocolate Syrup
onto her tits.
With her panties hanging from a cabinet, a long-lost memento of her
(former) modesty, Tammy is required to visit the kitchen again. This
time, she�s made to put flour all over herself. But there�s still more card-
playing ahead, and in no time Tammy finds herself tasked with squirting
big delicious dollops of Redi-Wip on her nipples.
At last, laughing, Tammy�s friends let her wash off. This good-
natured loser is sent to �the showers� which, for losers in sorority strip
poker, means the kitchen sink! Watch as Tammy sits in the sink and uses a
rubber sprayer to clean herself. Lust as she discovers the pleasure of
aiming her sprayer into her pussy!
�Poor Tammy, I hope you have better luck next time,� Tammy�s
friends tell her.
�It�s okay,� Tammy answers, aiming the rubber sprayer at her dell.
�Losing makes my pussy feel great!�
I�ve got to hand it to Club. What an issue! While Playboy�s flagship
magazine is in decline, and Penthouse seems repetitive, and Hustler is
boring, Club is surging ahead! I looked at an old copy of this magazine
several days ago. What a dog it used to be! It had small photos and bad
printing. But now it�s greatly improved and, for my money, It�s the best!
My only regret is that Club puts out three magazines every month, all
at different times of the month: Club, Club Confidential, and Club
International. With three magazines coming out at staggered intervals
every month, I�m going to spend the rest of my life running to Tower
Books!
Andrew Roller Presents
FUCK DECENCY
Issue No. 370
Naughty Naked Dreamgirls in
Passion�s Playpen
Chapter Two
Where her face rested, Kate found a thoughtful soul had covered the
wall with thick velvet. It ran from about Kate�s neck, right up to where
the ring was. It even stretched beyond, to the ceiling itself, and around
the entire room. Kate had not even noticed it until now. She had seen the
grey stone, and the deep, almost black purple above it, but it had seemed a
mere choice of design, serving no useful purpose. Now she was grateful
for the velvet and she pressed her nose into it as she felt the bed dip
behind her. Cindy mounted it, much surer footed in her bare feet than Kate
was, standing on the bed in her spiked heels. The girl reached up behind
Kate and took hold of the loose handcuff dangling from Kate�s left wrist.
She passed it through the big ring in the wall that Kate was holding on to.
With nimble fingers, and with Kate feeling the girl�s bosoms in her back
even as she pressed her own to the wall, Kate watched as the redhead
locked her right wrist into the handcuffs.
Kate let go of the ring in the wall. She arched her hands backward,
stretching her fingers back like some Thai dancer, and she tugged hard at
the wall ring. There was no movement. The ring was bolted deep into the
wall and Kate�s handcuffs had now been passed through it. Kate felt her
bottomcheeks tremble and was aware of Cindy passing her riding crop over
her palm. Expectantly. Loving the feel of the slim leather as it passed
across her hand and knowing what it would feel like impressed at great
speed into Kate�s fanny.
Kate looked back over her shoulder. With her outthrust bottom a
ready target, she eyed the minx behind her with apprehension. She�d
already been struck on her breasts and tummy and thighs, in front, earlier
in the evening, and a low burn crisscrossed her in each place where
Maria�s favorite crop had left its marks. Now this girl, no older than she,
and perhaps less learned than Maria, certainly she had not Maria�s control
and talent, was about to deliver to Kate yet more burning cuts. Kate could
not help but feel the exquisiteness of her posture, even as she dreaded the
crop. Her breasts were heavy and hung forward as she hung forward, their
tips pressed against implacable wall. Her nipples were hard and she
wished they might somehow drill her an escape route through the stone.
But this was no cartoon. The girl behind her might be a child, or childish
in her ways, but she had eyes that gleamed like a cat�s as she prepared to
go mousing across Kate with her crop.
�Spread your legs, darling Kate, or I shall have to bolt them apart for
you, with a spreader bar, and that would mean you�d get extra strokes for
my extra effort,� Maria warned Kate.
AND IN THE END...
LIFE IN AMERICA
�They�re building more penitentiaries, and they�re coming up with
more outrageous laws to put people in those penitentiaries.�
- Rap artist Ice Cube. (Charlie Rose, April 14, 1998.)
-------------------------- Fuck Decency! ------------------------
-Back issues (and stories): type
http://www.dejanews.com/
into your browser�s �Location� window.
Search under: roller39@idt.net
-Copyright 1998 by Andrew Roller.
-END OF 370 EMISSION
help! i�m in Hell! - katie