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Andrew Roller Presents
FUCK DECENCY
Sponsored by: Baby Tiffany
Issue No. 330
Naughty Naked Dreamgirls in
Dungeon of Desire
Chapter One
My bikini, so delicate I couldn�t get it wet, was already moist with
my dew in my crotch. I wondered if I�d start unravelling there. Worse, all
the water I�d drunk from the dog�s dish had yet to be allowed to come out.
I felt a tremor run through me as Miriam led Katy and I into her ballroom.
A dozen guests turned and greeted me with their eyes. All I could do was
shorten my steps and hope they didn�t see how I was pressing my thighs
together. Sauron, behind me, gave a wicked laugh. He knew I had to go! I
prayed that the others didn�t.
Fortunately, the other guests were dressed as sexily as I was. The
females, that is. The males wore casual clothes like Master�s. As for the
girls, some wore vinyl swimsuits. They promised to get hot in the sun,
but it was night now. Still, their vinyl tops and bottoms had little zippers
on them. The cups of their bras offered zippers for unzipping their
nipples. Their panties, though zipped at the moment, could be undone
where their nether lips were. I wondered if their crotches were as moist
inside those little vinyl swimpouches as mine was. At least, if they had
to pee, they could unzip their lips. My labia lips were contained. I felt the
wetness of my excitement. I slid my hands along my thighs, hoping for a
chance at relief.
Most of the girls were young college girls. They had bodies as
fetching as mine and no inhibitions, apparently, about decking themselves
out in teeny bikinis to show everyone else how terrific they looked. All of
us wore bikinis not meant for the pool. Some were cashmere, like mine
and Katy�s and Miriam�s. Others were vinyl, their little zippers dangling
temptingly from half-covered bosoms and cunnies. Still other girls wore
leather, tied up with little string bows where the vinyl bikinis had
zippers. I imagined myself being made to kneel and untie, one by one, the
frustrating little bows that closed themselves over a strawberry blonde�s
pubic hair. With master commanding me, I�d no doubt have to use just my
teeth.
�Hi!� the strawberry blonde said to me as I stared nervously at her
swimsuit. She looked at me unabashedly. Her eyes noticed where mine
were on her and she took it as more than I intended. �Is this your first
S&M orgy?� she asked, addressing my breasts as if they were me.
�Y-Yes,� I replied. My voice trembled and felt my breasts shaking.
�I�m sorry,� I added quickly. �I have to pee.� I gulped. I didn�t mean to
make the admission but she�d looked like she was about to untie my top.
�Oh!� Sharon laughed. I learned her name later, after we�d fucked.
�There�s no worry about that! Come over to our pee pool!� She took my
hand, something I�d not expected, or wanted, and led me over to a small
fountain set near the wall.
I tensed. I felt the crowd of people gather behind me. Looking over
my shoulder, quickly, afraid and nervous, I saw that perhaps half the dozen
or so guests had followed me. The rest continued their conversations.
Before me was a small bowl shaped pool made of rock. Within its
glassy surface, along one of its curving sides, lay a stone ledge.
�Get in, sit down on the ledge, and hang your feet down,� Sharon
explained, her hand still in mine. �Then just pee. The water will carry it
away. You�re the first of the evening, anyway, so if you�re scared of
anything there�s no need to be. The water�s totally pure and natural.
There�s no chlorine or anything, so it won�t sting you. It�s the same as
your bath water. Haven�t you ever peed in the bath tub?� she laughed. I
saw from her brimming eyes that she�d done it at an older age than I had.
�Well, yes, when I was a grade-schooler,� I admitted. �But I�m
bigger now.� I stuck out my boobs to convince her.
�Take your panties off and get in,� Sharon told me. �You�re wiggling
your hips like a preschooler! I�ll pee with you if you like.�
�No,� I replied. I looked up. Lovely ivy vines climbed the wall. The
pool lay quiet, waiting. Its water was still, but I sensed that somewhere
within it water was silently entering and exiting, passing fresh water in
from pipes and then draining the spent water away, outside, where it
watered the garden that was visible in the moonlight beyond the sliding
glass doors of the ballroom.
I stepped onto a step that led in three easy steps up to the
submerged shelf of the pool.
�Take off your bottoms first,� Sharon told me. She unclipped my
leash from my collar. Katy and Sauron did not object. The leash, at least,
I was glad to be rid of. Perhaps Miriam wouldn�t shush me anymore when I
spoke.
I put my thumbs in my panties. They were stuck in my ass crack
again, but I was going to teach them a lesson for once. I didn�t bother
untying them. I wanted to put them back on after I peed! I slid them down
my legs, wiggling, blushing, needing to pee more than ever.
�God, what an ass!� a man behind me proclaimed.
�That�s another benefit of sitting in the pool,� Sharon laughed, happy
that I was obeying her. �It lets you cool your bottom before we�re all
whipped!�
I stopped lowering my panties. They hung round my knees. I looked
at Sharon, then at the others. I felt my bare bottomcheeks huddle and
tighten.
�Jesus!� the man who�d admired my ass said. �How old is she?� he
asked Sauron.
�Just sixteen,� Sauron replied. �And her ass is mine. Both for
punishment and for pleasure.�
MAGAZINE REVIEW
by holy joe
Playboy, February 1998, $4.95. Web: http://www.playboy.com
Review: I went to Barnes and Noble today. It�s rumored that they�re
selling a book by Jock Sturges that features photos of nude children.
However, I had a more pressing need. I got my subscriber�s copy of
Playboy in the mail yesterday and needed another copy.
Why? Because the centerfold in this issue is really, really great.
It�s great on both sides of the centerfold, which means I needed two
centerfolds, so I could look at the front and the back at the same time.
Also, I wanted to sit in the very same public toilet I was sitting in
before, when God spoke to me. Sometimes, when I pray to God while
sitting in that toilet, she offers me guidance on interpreting the
photographs in the magazines I�m reading.
Perhaps I shouldn�t call God �God,� though. It�s actually God�s
daughter who speaks to me. She�s 8-years-old. She�s also a blonde. So,
with that as fair warning, for your erotic edification, I offer God�s
interpretations of the February Playboy:
hj: Dear God...
G: That�s GodDESS, you dolt.
hj: Sorry. Dear Goddess, what is happening to Julia (Miss February) on
page 86?
G: She�s holding a lollipop.
hj: Yes, but why is she making a face?
G: I used my magical powers to make her lollipop sour, �cause I�m only 8
and she�s 18, and has big boobs.
hj: Oh. What�s happening in her centerfold?
G: She�s at an elegant bondage club. The other people are wearing masks,
and spandex, but as the new initiate she must wear a sexy baby doll
nightie. It doesn�t close in back, which is bad news for her, since that
means it shows off her bottom.
hj: I can see that. Nice ass. But are you sure it�s a bondage club? I mean,
she looks like she�s lying on her belly on a nice, comfy bed.
G: Of course she is! As it is written in Pamela (published by Blue Moon
Books): �There was a carpet, a divan, a sideboard, cabinets -- and a bed in
one corner. Bed, it was explained to Pamela, was the best place to birch a
young lady. It added a touch of comfort to the experience.� (Page 28).
hj: Oh yeah. I forgot about that. That�s a good book. But why is she eating
chocolates?
G: Chocolate is a sexual stimulant for us girls. Plus, in her case, since
she�s about to get spanked, the chocolate hearts she�s been given to eat
have been laced with an anesthetic. That way her spanking won�t hurt so
much.
hj: Oh. Okay, that�s a pretty good interpretation. What�s Julia doing on
page 88?
G: She�s brushing her teeth before she goes to the bondage club.
hj: Oh. What�s she doing on page 89?
G: She�s in the bath, looking at her tummy.
hj: I can see that.
G: She�s checking to see if the lash marks they gave her at the bondage
club, across her tummy, have faded away yet.
hj: Looks like they have.
G: Yep.
hj: How about this awesome girl on page 170... the one who�s just received
a giant heart from her boyfriend?
G: It has a lot of candy in it.
hj: Yeah... I figured that.
G: But in the center of the heart, hidden under all that candy, is a riding
crop!
hj: She�ll be a little surprised when she finds that.
G: Yes! �Love hurts,� as they say.
hj: Okay, you�re doing pretty well here, interpreting these photos. What�s
happening on page 172? What�s Jaime Pressly doing in her photo?
G: She�s getting a spanking, dolt. I mean, if a girl has her bottom sticking
out like that, and her hand clapped to her forehead, and that sort of look on
her face, and no clothes on, what would you think is happening to her?
hj: I was hoping maybe she was getting a valentine.
G: She is. She�s getting her valentine spanking!
hj: You�re sort of a perverted Goddess, you know that?
G: If you were only 8, and had no tits, and some guy sitting in a toilet
looking at nude girls, girls with big boobs, asked you questions, what
would you say?
hj: Uh... I�d probably be jealous and say all those girls with big boobs were
getting spanked.
G: Yep! They�re getting spanked for having big boobs and showing
themselves off in dirty men�s magazines!
hj: Hmmm, now that you put it that way, your interpretations sound
entirely rational.
G: You stink too much. I�m not going to answer any more questions from a
guy taking a poop in a toilet stall!
Well, anyway, that was my conversation with her. Besides the
photos, there are some excellent articles in this issue. For instance, �Why
Women Say Yes,� on page 60, was very helpful. Here�s some excerpts:
Lola, age 134: �If he can fog a mirror, I�ll take him. At my age,
beggars can�t be choosers.�
Amy, age 129: �Having fucked every good-looking hunk in the world,
I guess I�ll take most anything that moves now. If necessary, I�ll chase
it.�
Gwynnie, age 135: ��Hey, Grannie,� is all he needs to say to get my
attention. Plus, if he waits for me to take out my teeth, I consider him to
be a real gentleman.�
Teri, age 51: �It doesn�t matter what size he is. Really! If his thing
works, I�ll take it. We don�t get too many visitors here at the senior
home.�
(Note to those who didn�t know: As a female approaches age 30, she
sheds all her requirements regarding men. Suddenly, it doesn�t matter if
you�re a geek. If you�re wealthy, or look wealthy, or look like you could be
induced to earn a decent living, she�ll take you. Then you get to enjoy
having:
a. A new car.
b. A new house.
c. A new T.V.
d. A used wife, who wouldn�t touch you when she was younger, but
now wants to �love� you (read: spend all your money).
An article about how to get women over the age of 25 to say �Yes� is
about as valuable as an article on how to find snow in Alaska.)
What else is in this issue? Well, on page 112, there�s a photo of a
nude 60-year-old woman. It�s September 1963 Playmate Victoria
Valentino, as she appears today. You might think, based on what I just
wrote above, that I�m pissed at having to look at a 60-year-old woman.
But, actually, I�m not. One picture�s okay. I actually considered seeing her
to be quite educational. I mean, the pictures of her from 1963 are
ravishing! I can�t quite believe I�m looking at the same person. I guess I�ll
have to take Playboy�s word for it. Anyway, if you�re wondering why I
agree with Ann Taylor-Fleming�s statement, �The younger the better,�
just take a look at page 112.
Another informative item in this issue is �Couch Tomatoes.� (Page
64). Two girls from Playboy T.V. pinch each others� nipples and examine
each others� bottoms. A great quote: �We�re normal girls talking about
sex. ...There are three rules on Night Calls: no last names, no brand names
and... no underwear. It makes for interesting wet spots on the couch at
show�s end.� (Pages 65-66).
(Incidentally, if it isn�t being done already, I�d suggest to Playboy
that they get a new pair of girls each season. In the photo on page 66, one
of the girls is having her bottom cheeks pried apart by the other girl. But
she seems totally unembarrassed by it. If a girl can�t blush when she�s
having her ass widened on national T.V., it�s time to get a new girl.)
�Out of Bondage,� on page 114, is the most interesting fashion
pictorial I�ve ever seen in Playboy. It tells a mini-story of a girl
kidnapped by a man, or rescued by him, depending on your interpretation.
My only complaint about the fashion pictorial is that there should be at
least one photo of the girl without her clothes on. It stands to reason, I
think, that us guys don�t buy Playboy to see girls with clothes on. The girl
at Barnes and Noble that I bought this magazine from had her clothes on.
It�s nudity I want to see!
RECORD REVIEW
by holy joe
Turd, Bowling. Perply Records, $7.99.
Review: I must admit I was surprised by this CD�s cover. It shows
Perply sitting on the toilet. That, I suppose, is what inspired the name of
this album, Bowling.
As for the band, Turd, it struck me as a novelty band. Consider these
cuts:
�I Forgot to Flush Today,� the album�s first song, is reminiscent of
an earlier song (which, alas, I can�t remember the title to). But I did like
the guitar work.
�Wiping your Love� concerns the break-up of a romantic relationship.
The thing about this song is it�s a nice, slow dance song. It seems tailor-
made for prom night. However, with all the talk in the song about �dick
wipe,� �shit covered ass,� and toilet paper, I doubt any schools will let it
be played.
�Condom Conundrum� is another slow song. What a riot it would be
if this song were played during prom night! It�s a duet between a guy and a
girl, debating whether to take time off from kissing to put a condom on
the guy. Then, just when you�re getting used to the song, figuring that,
even if the subject matter is weird to dance to, it�s a good public service,
the duet becomes one between two men, debating condom-use before
getting down to fucking each others� asses.
�Toilet Overflow� is the next song on the album. Beavis and
Butthead would like this song a lot. It�s not slow at all. It has blazing
guitar work that contains so much static, another reviewer described it as
�rancid�. Anyway, if you�d like to induce your neighbors to move, try
turning this song up to 10.
I�m sure you remember Van Halen�s song, �Hot for Teacher.� Turd�s
take on their teacher is rather less complimentary. The song is called,
�Life�s Tough when Teacher Farts.� It�s about someone sitting in the first
row of a classroom, at school.
All in all this was a pretty good album. Hopefully you�ll see Perply
on MTV soon.
AND IN THE END...
�I still remember every single word you said and the shit that
somehow came along with it.�
- Foo Fighter David Grohl, reviewing ex-band member Perply�s new
album.
-------------------------- Fuck Decency! ------------------------
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-END OF 330 EMISSION
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