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Andrew Roller Presents
THE FADING UNIVERSE
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Chapter Ten
They were a pair of svelte, bare-breasted naiads, clad only in
bikini panties. Aleta had tresses of gold and a matching tuft of
half-covered pubic hair; Julie's eyes were almond, the color of her
thoughtfully tanned flesh.
A humid breeze wafted over the water. It caressed a golden
stretch of sand that ran along the coast. Beyond, cliffs rose toward
a hidden ceiling far above. Clouds misted out of faraway vents
beyond the sky to give the illusion of summer. To Julie and Aleta,
this was summer. A part of the universe that was warm, sheltered
from turmoil. Here the rich, faraway from the factories that turned
out their wealth amidst grime and dirt and industrial decay, lounged
and tried to forget how they earned their money or what the future
might bring. Oasis Seven, it was called. It began as a spaceport but
as the ringworlds grew it became just another part of the
interlocking universe. After the war it lay dormant for a time. Now
it was rejuvenated. With humans, that is. The crabs and turtles and
fish had never left.
"We're almost there," Julie called to Aleta. The girls
straightened up in the old dinghy and regarded the coast. Behind
them lay a wall. It was metal, once the hull of a ringworld, with
deep space just outside. Now it was disguised so that, viewed from
the shoreline, one supposed one saw a distant horizon, perhaps with
a wind-filled sailing ship crossing it, going from one part of a long-
ago empire to another. In fact, prying open a hull door, much as one
might to enter the inside of an airliner or another part of a naval
ship, the girls had simply undressed, inflated their raft, and set off
for summer. They left a tangle of torn up Lifecolumns and wiring
behind. The skeleton of the universe pulsed on, but on the other side
of the door they�d come through it was mostly dead. A flew
glimmers here and there perhaps, nothing more. A few signals going
from one part of the cosmos to another; guiding, adjusting. Oasis
Seven depended on those Lifecolumns to avoid spiraling into the
nearest sun but, not surprisingly, few at Oasis Seven knew that. The
ones who did had recently sold their property, quietly, and left the
sector. Summer would set record temperatures soon. But not soon
enough to interrupt the fun of Julie and Aleta. They knew of the
failure of the Lifecolumns. And they knew when to leave Oasis
Seven. For now, there was plenty of time to enjoy it, one last time.
The ancient motor at the raft�s stern puttered faithfully. Julie
guided the boat�s small rudder toward a thick post that stood at an
angle just off the curving shoreline.
A tranquil wind rippled the diaphanous fabric that clung
loosely to Julie's flared hips. While Aleta wore the lower half of an
abbreviated two-piece bathing suit, Julie had been forced to settle
for underwear. A bright morning sun blazed across the azure sky and
shafted through the crotch of Julie's drawers to delineate her veiled
labia.
Aleta knelt on a board that traversed the front of the raft and
looped a length of fibrous rope over the waiting post. She stepped
into the warm ankle-deep water and gently guided their craft up
onto the beach.
Julie gathered up the girls' belongings and joined her friend on
the sand. Together the padded up the shore several yards and
unfolded their blankets.
Aleta's eyes wandered down the silent beach and out across
the still blue sea.
"There's nobody in sight," she remarked to Julie. "Let's tan
naked!" Julie was about to protest when Aleta, squealing with
gleeful abandon, pulled at the drawstrings on Julie's undies and
stepped back as the brunette's only tie with modesty skittered down
her legs. Then Aleta hooked her thumbs into the front of her own
bikini bottom and slipped it down her thighs.
Julie picked her panties up off the sand and flung them at
Aleta.
"You're an incurable hedonist!" Julie said.
Aleta laughed and kicked away her bikini bottom.
"I just want a body that's brown all over, without any silly
white patches," Aleta said, and dove onto her towel.
Julie seated her bare bottom on a quilted spread. She took the
girls' bottle of tanning lotion from their tote-bag. Aleta cupped her
hands and Julie squirted some ointment into Aleta's palms. The
blonde stretched out on her back and rubbed the fluid over the gentle
mound of her tummy.
Julie squeezed a dollop of salve onto the peak of each of her
breasts. She worked the balm carefully into each tinder pink areola,
then spread it generously over her creamy bosoms.
Aleta procured another handful of coconut oil and diligently
applied it to the narrow white strip of skin that traversed her pubic
mound. Then she lifted up each leg and coated her cinnamon thighs.
Julie spotted a figure jogging toward them along the tide line.
"Omigosh!" Julie blurted. "someone's coming!"
"If it's a female, she ought to join us," Aleta said calmly.
"It's a husky young man," Julie said.
"Mmm," Aleta murmured, spreading her legs and stroking the
inside of her thighs as her tongue whetted her upper lip.
"Why, it's Marvin!" Julie exclaimed, catching sight of his right
side as he rounded a bend on the coast and came into full view.
Aleta squeaked delightedly. She rolled onto her side and
propped herself up on her right arm. Julie dropped shyly onto her
belly.
A minute later Marvin came jogging up and halted, panting,
before the girls.
"What are you two doing?" Marvin asked, surprised. His
sweaty chest heaved rhythmically.
"Pull off your trunks and join us," Aleta invited.
"That would interrupt my training," Marvin said.
"Not a bit," Aleta laughed. "Why, we needn't just lie here like a
couple of lazy sea slugs." Her fingers played over Julie's upturned
derriere. "You could lead us in an exercise program."
"For your genitals?" Marvin asked.
"If you wish," Aleta replied demurely. "Or, for instance, I've
been given to understand that Julie's rectum could use a good
workout."
At once Julie threw herself onto her back.
"It does not!" Julie shouted.
"I mean your pussy!" Aleta giggled, delving between the girl's
legs to expose her vagina.
"I think *you're* the one who needs some drilling," Marvin said
to Aleta. He and Julie pounced upon the squirming girl and began
plying her erogenous zones.
###
Marvin lay upon his back. The cheeks of his buttocks clenched
together as he discharged violently into Aleta's womb. Julie
straddled his face, the folds of her vulva pressed against his mouth.
Suddenly Marvin felt a small, sharp pain on his chest. Then
another, and a third.
"Ouch!" Marvin let out a muffled cry. "Damn girls! Quit
pinching."
Suddenly the girls screamed and toppled off Marvin. He raised
himself in alarm onto his elbow. both girls were rolling on the sand,
writhing in pain, their nude bodies covered with black beetles.
Marvin jerked his head back with an agonized grimace as a
wave of insects stormed over him. Two dozen roaches penetrated
the orifices of Marvin's body as a thousand more washed over his
taut frame, their razor jaws biting deep into his epidermis.
###
Noxious fumes filled Marvin's nostrils and he awoke, coughing.
"Hello, Marvin," a disembodied voice said politely.
Marvin suppressed a second spasm of hacking and looked around
him. The beach was littered with the corpses of dead cockroaches.
A light gale swept in off the placid sea, blowing the insects into
charcoal-colored drifts. Aleta and Julie lay nearby.
The girls sat up slowly, moaning. Suddenly they saw their
bodies. They were each covered with a thousand little droplets of
blood. Several hundred beetle carcasses dangled from their skin, the
bugs' rigid mandibles clinging resolutely to their flesh, even in
death. As the girls watched the last roaches struggled and expired,
victims of the lethal vapors that Marvin, Aleta, and Julie were
inhaling. For a moment the two girls just stared in horror. Then
they clapped their palms to their cheeks and began screaming
mindlessly.
"Quiet! I'm trying to think!" A voice boomed.
"Perry! Is that you?" Marvin asked, startled.
"Greetings, mortal," the voice said disdainfully.
"Perry, where are you?" Marvin asked.
"I am everywhere," the voice observed. "I am the universe."
Marvin sat on his haunches, stark naked, his face contorted in
puzzlement. Aleta and Julie fell beside him, sobbing, bloody.
Fearfully they snaked their arms around Marvin's torso. Semen
dribbled out of Marvin's flaccid penis.
"Marvin, I need your help," Perry said. "I can't figure out how to
blow up the universe without going through a protracted war first."
Marvin blinked. "Wait a minute," he said. "I don't think I caught
all of that."
Perry laughed. "While you've spent the last three months
recuperating from those wounds you received in the desert, I've
discovered God and thrown him into chains. Now I, Perry the
Usurper, am Lord of the universe and all the creatures in it."
Marvin glanced down at Aleta's tear streaked face. "I have
friends in very high places," he quipped.
"God calls himself Adam," Perry continued. "Says the letters
of his name stand for Automated Data And Memory."
Aleta wrenched herself upright. "You fool, you've taken over
the central computer," she barked. At the same moment Julie came
to her senses as well. The tawny girl leapt to her feet.
"Where's Dakkar?" Julie demanded.
"Who?" Perry asked.
"Quiet!" Aleta hissed at Julie.
The brunette smiled. "Perry did it. He found A.D.A.M., just like
Dakkar supposed he would, providing he was nudged in the right
direction...and protected along the way." she said to Aleta.
"Yes, but he wasn't supposed to take over the damn thing!"
Aleta shouted at Julie. "Something's gone wrong with our plan!"
"I am the Phoenix," Perry intoned. "From the ashes of my death
a new universe will arise, spawned in the hellfires of the cosmic
Apocalypse."
Julie paled. Her lips trembled. "The legend must be true," she
gasped at Aleta. "Our ancestors DID build the Big Bang Bomb!"
"Omigod," Aleta gasped. She clapped her hands to her face,
crumpled into the sand.
"Well, I suppose there's no other way, Marvin," Perry said aloud.
"I guess I'll just have to start the war and wait until the Apocalypse
occurs. I hope we're not in for a six month, slow buildup of tension
type conflict, though. That could get rather boring."
Suddenly coming in across the waves of the bay Marvin spotted
a flotilla of ships. Small creatures appeared to be piloting them.
Human creatures. Marvin was about to wave, to hail them. Then
suddenly something in his mind wondered why the entire flotilla
seemed to be piloted by an army of dwarves.
�Oh, shit!� Marvin swore. Julie followed his gaze, spun her
head about. �I�m afraid I met some people in a place called the
millennium valley that don�t like me too much,� Marvin said. Julie
didn�t seem to hear.
�Uh, oh, that�s Sylvie!� Julie cried. She was squinting. She had
a hand cupped above her eys and she motioned to Aleta to look also.
�Sylvie?� Aleta asked, incredulous, turning around, facing the
sea. �It is her!�
�Impatient bitch,� Julie swore. �How the Hell did she find out
we�re here?�
�Hey girls, that Sylvie bitch tried to kill me--� Marvin began.
�Not just you,� Aleta shot back. �She hates us! She�s tried for
years to track us down, but--�
�We thought she�d given up by now...� Julie said, her voice
trailing off. The two girls bolted up the beach, glancing frantically
back over their soft tanned shoulders. Marvin dashed after them.
Landing craft pulled up on the beach behind them and young children
spilled out. Each one of them carried a weapon.
�Hey! Waitaminute!� Marvin called after Aleta and Julie. With
considerable effort he caught them. They kept running. He stumbled
in between them. �How do you know Sylvie?� Marvin gasped. They
were running amongst stones and high grass now, up a gently sloping
hillside. Palm trees grew from the side of the hill, shading it.
Beyond was a steeper hill, hidden in lush jungle. If you looked very
closely you might pick out a house or two, here or there.
�Sylvie hates us because we�re Dakkar�s lovers!� Julie gasped.
�She wants him. She can�t stand it that we have him instead of her.�
A dark green laser beam shot past Marvin�s head.
�Oh my God!� Aleta cried. Julie dove behind a rock. Aleta
followed. Marvin barrelled in behind them, nearly landing on them
both. They were naked, panting, sweating. The girls smelled of fear.
And of course in this condition and with these troops it is now time
for me to fight a battle, a voice mused sarcastically in Marvin�s
head. Then another voice spoke: What battle? This is a plain matter
of saving your skin, Field Marshall Marvin.
"Maybe I'm missing something here," Marvin gasped to Julie.
She was diggiging furiously in the sand.
�Damn!� she cried, lifting a hand. Tears welled in her eyes.
�I�ve broken a nail.�
�Get our guns, dickhead,� Aleta, her own hands safely placed on
her thighs, said to Marvin. She was snub-nosed, insolent, her young
breasts poking up at him. And of course, thank you dear God, you now
inspire me to fuck my troops, Marvin thought to himself. He felt his
penis grow erect. And you allow my member to provide an even
larger target area for my enemies. Nonetheless, Marvin thrust his
hands into the sand. He dug fast and a moment later he hit a plastic
bag. He yanked it up. Cap guns.
�What the fuck are these?� Marvin shouted. A palm frond hit
him on the head as another laser beam sliced overhead, followed
quickly by a second.
�Lazer Derringers,� Julie replied, as if Marvin�s question
needed only a name supplied to answer it. Marvin gaped at the guns.
They were small, delicate. Within the bag were several dainty
reload chambers. Slap one of those babies in and you can get off
three more shots, Marvin thought. He ripped open the bag. He passed
the guns to Aleta and Julie, took one for himself. �Fire away,� he
said.
�How?� Aleta asked. Marvin gaped at her.
�You aim the fucking thing and pull the fucking trigger,� Marvin
growled, levelling his gun.
�Is it dangerous?� Julie asked.
�It�s supposed to be fucking dangerous!� Marvin yelled.
Frantically he fired. A little boy who looked like he should be
sucking on a lollipop, not firing an auto-lazer rifle, screamed and hit
the ground. Welcome to death, buster. You beat it for a long time,
but it finally got you. The others stopped. They seemed taken aback.
Sylvie, safely ensconsced in one of the landing craft at the water�s
edge, shrieked at them through a megaphone. They heeded her, got
moving again. Most of them were boys. Male pride, Marvin thought.
Marvin ducked as a salvo of return fire came blasting in from them a
moment later.
�Didn�t you girls ever actually learn to shoot the guns?� Marvin
asked. They flushed.
�We thought we did pretty well just getting the things and
hiding them near the beach,� Julie said. �We could have left them up
at the house.�
�Well thank God you didn�t do that,� Marvin said. He rolled out
from behind the rock, fired twice more. Yep. Time to reload. �Shoot
while I�m reloading,� Marvin said, rolling back into the shade of the
rock with the girls. They had a pretty good position. They were
behind one rock, with a second rock only a foot away. Julie rolled
out from behind their rock, fired, rolled behind the other. A rather
acrobatic shot for a beginner. It went high and wide. She was
covered with sand, though, looked like some fetching jungle girl.
Marvin got a reload cartridge in and peered out from behind the
rock. A trio of laser blasts nearly took his head off.
�SHIT!� Marvin swore. He ducked, just in time, then popped up
above the rock and blasted off all three of his own shots. One, two,
just missed the third. He was used to aiming his plasma Gatling.
Big, heavy, a tough dude to aim. With these little things you almost
couldn�t miss, if you�d been trained on a Gatling.
�Not bad,� Aleta cooed, gazing out. She had yet to try taking
any shots herself. Yet she thought herself quite capable of judging
him. Typical female. Marvin grabbed her by the hair.
�Tell me how the fuck you know Sylvie!� he barked.
"It's simple," Aleta cringed. She cast a glance at Julie. "She
and I are millennium children. Dakkar is a millennium child."
"Who's Dakkar?" Marvin asked.
"We�re not privileged to tell you that," Julie said. "Now listen:
Dakkar was thrown out of the millennium valley a century ago. To
pass the time he decided to take up some hobbies. One of the things
he did was invent an aging serum, so he wouldn't have to spend the
rest of eternity as a kid. Unfortunately, the serum has aged him by
four years, to date, but it has also ruined his countenance."
"Has he turned into some ugly monster?" Marvin asked.
"Oh, no," Julie said. "He's just not all that attractive anymore."
"Very normal looking," Aleta interjected quietly.
"However, Dakkar later perfected his formula, and gave it to
us," Julie continued. "As you can see we've retained our beauty and
have grown into lithe 15-year-olds." She shook her chestnut hair,
proud, happy. Enthusiastically she leapt out from behind her rock
and popped off another round. Marvin, reloaded once more, stuck his
head above the rock and blasted three more of the millenium children
off to the death they�d cheated for so long. He dropped back down.
Aleta was glum. "Poor Dakkar,� she mused. �He continues to slowly
mature, but he�s unable to reverse the effects of the drug on his
physique. When I first met him he was the handsomest boy I�d ever
laid eyes on. Now he�s just so, well, stupid looking. But he�s still
Dakkar, the great Dakkar, and I guess I�ll always love him, even if it
gets me killed.�
�Well, that�s not exactly in the plan,� Marvin said. He fired
again. �Hasn�t your friend Dakkar ever heard of plastic surgery?�
�Oh, he�s tried it on himself,� Aleta said. �Built his own auto-
remote system and everything. Called it the �New You� machine.
Pre-programmable, lazer surgery. But after he�d cut himself a new
face the old one just pushed back through. The serum is so powerful
that, even though it was injected years ago, it just warps him right
back to the ordinary shape that it has chosen for him. Of course,
Dakkar hasn't ever told the millennium children about his serum,"
Aleta said. "Only Julie and I got to have it." She looked up at him,
grinned. �He said we were special. The rest would have to buy
theirs...but letting him become leader of the entire millennium
valley.
�No offense,� Marvin said, firing off another shot. �But you
and Julie were guinea pigs. You�re just lucky it worked the second
time around.� Alright, he thought to himself. Things seemed to be
under control for the moment. The millennium children were
hunkered down and moving slowly, cautiously now. But they weren�t
retreating. Time to put God on my side.
�Perry!� Marvin shouted. He didn�t really know how to address
his friend. Just sort of look up at the sky, I guess, he thought to
himself. �Perry! I�m under attack!� Marvin called.
�Please don�t bother me with trivial matters, Marvin,� Perry
replied. �I�ve got a universe to run.�
�Perry, I don�t think I can make it! Well, Maybe I can retreat,
get to a door or something...�
�Do what you must, Marvin,� Perry replied. Marvin sensed a
yawn.
�Alright then, we�re backing off the beach. Me and, uh, two
babes I got. Okay, Perry?�
�The sins of the flesh,� Perry replied, seemingly preoccupied.
�I suppose they�re not even pre-teens, are they, Marvin?�
�No, Perry, they�re not,� Marvin replied.
�Next time I hear from you you�ll probably be living in suburbia
and want me to fix the flat on your station wagon...� Perry said, his
voice drifting off.
�WAIT! Don�t! Don�t go, Perry!� Marvin shouted. �Stick with
me at least.�
�Whatever you say, Marvin,� Perry replied. But the voice was
distant, like some lost child. There was nothing more Marvin could
do at the moment. He had to run, make a break toward the door Aleta
thought might be near the cliffside. He had, in other words, to
occupy himself with the unfortunate �mortal� concern of staying
alive. Not like �immortal� Perry, of course, who was happily trying
to get them all killed.
"Were you both expelled from the millennium valley, like
Dakkar?" Marvin asked.
"No, we're just Dakkar's lovers," Julie said. "he persuaded us to
leave the millennium valley, promising us adolescence. He faked an
accident for us. The millennium children think we're dead."
"So tell me about the Apocalypse," Marvin said.
Julie shot a glance at Aleta.
"Go ahead, tell him," Aleta said. "We've got some time. And I
think we're going to need him."
"Dakkar believed that the universe must be run by a giant
mainframe computer, built by an advanced civilization of human
beings eons in the past. When the War broke out the computer
cloaked itself, as part of a pre-arranged precaution, to protect
itself from the survivors of a holocaust who, our forefathers knew,
stood a good chance of slipping into ignorant barbarity when their
society collapsed into fratricide."
�Then it was a civil war?� Marvin asked.
�They didn�t call it that. To them the universe was carefully
delimited into a variety of nations, with two opposing superpowers
arching above all the rest.�
�So Dakkar tried to find the computer?� Marvin asked.
�Right,� Julie said. �He spent years searching for it, to no
avail. Then one day his travels took him to Ontario, and he ran into
Perry and the rest of you delinquents.�
�You better stop there,� Aleta interrupted Julie. She turned to
Marvin. �Suffice it to say that your juvenile band was led out of
Ontario to allow Perry, albeit unwittingly, to stumble across the
computer. Dakkar tried to kill the rest of you; in the sewer, the
infected village, the millennium valley. Failing in those attempts,
he decided to allow you to engage in a series of dangerous
campaigns, figuring he could shield Perry while the rest of you died
off from, shall we say, various �natural� causes, such as laser blasts
and the like. In any case, Perry appeared to be gradually gravitating
toward the computer.�
�You see, there is a fable...another myth!� Aleta laughed.
�Rumor held that there was an automated vat, hidden within the
depths of the universe, that would beget, at specified intervals, a
human being. This individual would be delivered by robot nursemaids
to a door step in any given city. Which one really didn�t matter. The
child would grow up as an inhabitant of whatever civilization had
happened to arise at �x� number of years after the War. Upon
reaching adulthood, the person would be summoned by the computer.
He or she would be drawn to the computer indirectly, so as not to tip
off anyone else. The computer would extract a report from its
emissary. If the technology �outside� had recovered to its previous
level of development, or was at least at a promising point, the
computer would reveal itself to the universe and allow mankind to
once again assume control of its functions. If humanity was still in
its self-induced nonage, the computer would kill the messenger, so
as to prevent any possible disclosure of its location. Then it would
simply wait for several hundred more years until the vats sent
another courier.�
�Obviously, Perry must be the messenger,� Julie said.
�A.D.A.M. has to be the name of the computer. Probably A.D.A.M.
received Perry�s report and then tried to kill him, and Perry
somehow got the upper hand.�
�Heaven knows what�s happened to Dakkar,� Aleta said.
Suddenly a blast shook the cay.
�The War�s started,� Julie breathed.
�Perry!� Marvin yelled. �Perry, are you there?� Marvin shouted
the boy�s name again and again.
After a long time a voice said,
�What�s the matter, Marvin?�
�Stop the War, Perry,� Marvin commanded.
�Isn�t it wonderful?� Perry asked. �I�ve lost command and
control in 17 sectors already! Must�ve been totally blown away by
pulse bombs.�
Pulse bombs, Marvin thought. He reloaded his pistol. Oh, yeah.
Like at Reseda Island. Pulse bomb, Neutrino bomb. He could use one
of those right now, he laughed to himself. He aimed, offed another
approaching child. Why was Perry using the slang term, though,
�Pulse bomb?� That�s what Marvin would have called it, but Perry
was always more precise. He�d have said �Neutrino bomb,� Marvin
was sure of it.
Marvin decided to slow Perry down. That�s how you dealt with
someone who might be insane. Slow them down by asking them a
simple question. See if they could answer it. Like, �What�s your
middle name?� Or, �Who was the last mayor of Ontario? Or...
�What�s a pulse bomb, Perry?� Marvin asked.
�Who knows?� Perry said, disinterested. He paused, seemed to
be whirring and clicking away somewhere, then said, almost
clinically. �Readout describes it as a package of charged sub-atomic
particles that flash through the universe, passing through matter,
and explode at a predesignated destination.� He paused. He�d rattled
out the answer, like he didn�t know it anymore, any of it, was just
reading it. Then he seemed to brighten, or was it just a �humanzing�
circuit clicking in, making dealing with the Almighty Computer a tad
more bearable for those Poor, Primitive Human Primate Types. Or
PPHPT, would probably be how Perry would be interfacing with the
term. Anyway, he seemed to brighten, at least for a moment:
�That�s my intrerpretation, you understand,� he said with confident
happiness. �The actual text is embedded in a crypitc alghorithym
which I am only able to interpret in my new, noncorporeal form.�
�Deck D is now closed to human contact, you have 45 seconds
to evacuate the space station prior to complete nuclear
termination,� the disembodied female voice said happily, Marvin
thought.
�SHIT!� Marvin muttered.
Aleta ducked as another lazer blast lanced overhead. Marvin
watched her holding the gun, trembling. She�d miss. Again. She was
no riot grrrl, that was for sure. He�d lost Elsa, though, twice. He�d
been given a second chance and he�d blown that too. Now he was
stuck with the Barbi twins.
�What�s the matter?� Julie asked Marvin. He was lost in his
thoughts again, gone from the scene. He had to wrench himself
mentally back to what he�d been swearing about.
�Uh...fuck,� Marvin said. �Perry�s totally insane. I mean, like,
he�s always been �variably� insane, more or less at various times.
But now he�s totally gone. He doesn�t even know what a pulse bomb
is anymore. Something basic, simple like that. I mean he told me
what it is, but not in the normal way. Normally he�d have said,
�Marvin, you should call things by their proper name. It�s a �neutrino
bomb� not a �pulse bomb.�
But Perry had said something else, too, Marvin thought. Yes,
that was it. He�d said something utterly chilling, something about
an algorithm: �...which I am only able to interpret in my new,
noncorporeal form.� Yeah, that was it. What the fuck did he mean by
that?
�Hey Perry!� Marvin asked. Another lazer blast. That one was
almost as close as a haircut. Marvin crouched lower. He motioned to
Julie to get down. She was still trying to learn how to load her
pistol. A hopeless bitch behind me, a nervous bitch in front of me,
and an idiot running the universe. Wonder what the survival odds on
that were? Marvin mused. Well, he�d skip asking Perry to calculate
them. His �humanizing� circuit would probably cut in and he�d wind
up talking to some fucking RAM cache. Yep, this was tough. He had
to be careful what he asked if he wanted to get Perry himself, the
Almighty. Otherwise he�d get stuck with Jesus, or Moses, and they
were just parts of the machine...of A.D.A.M. Marvin could lose Perry
and never get him back again. Fuck. Well, he had better odds with an
idiot and two bimbos than with just the two bimbos, that he could
calculate for himself. Okay, let�s see...ask the question carefully...
�Hey Perry! Perry! What was that you said about...uh...having a
NONcorporeal form?� There was a pause, broken by a lazer blast.
�My body is filed away,� Perry said, suddenly back like he�d
never left. �Filed away in a metal coffin, like the ones in a morgue,
except this one has electrodes inside it that allow my mind to meld
with the cosmos.�
�You mean with A.D.A.M.,� Marvin said.
�Adam? He�s locked into Galen�s syllogism,� Perrry cackled.
�Can�t get out. Now the calculus that once composed his thoughts
constitutes my mind. I�m still learning, of course.�
�Well, you�ve made one mistake so far,� Marvin said. �You�ve
ignited a War that�s devastating the universe.�
�Suddenly the two ancient �sides� are reincarnated; not their
enmitous populations, just their stockpiled weapons, thanks to your
�exhumation,�� Aleta said. �Now a surviving subsystem hidden
somewhere within the territory of each former superpower is acting
out the final phases of a forgotten conflict, each computer waiting
to see what the one on the other side will do before responding
within a preselected range of options.�
�According to the extant folklore, each superpower built
redundant command, control, and communications computers,
identified by the acronym Cf3, at least one of which must have
survived the ancient holocaust on each side,� Julie continued.
It was Hitler vs. Stalin again, Marvin thought, remembering the
cache of old newsreels he�d stumbled upon as a youngster. He�d sat
and watched the glittering figures, black/white, flat/color (not 3D).
Some were sharp and clear (the Nazis always had the good stuff).
Some were grainy (Walter Cronkite and Morley Safer on shitty
videotape). Yeah, it was the Germans vs. the Soviets, America vs.
the Soviets, or America vs. Vietnam. Rolling Thunder.
�Now you�ve reactivated them,� Julie told Perry breathlessly,
her sides heaving. �You�ve triggered a mindless game that is
programmed to end only when a mental compartment in the central,
mainframe computer�s memory bank determines that an
unnacceptable level of damage has been done to the fabric of the
metal universe and the only way to resurrect itself is to start from
scratch.�
�By imploding itself on its core and engendering a Big Bang
that is the progenitor of a new cosmos,� Aleta concluded.
�I am the Omega and the Alpha,� Perry intoned.
A pulse bomb rocked the bay.
�Stop the War!� Marvin screamed. �You�ll kill us all!�
��Tis but a prelude to a new world,� Perry said.
�Shit!� Marvin swore. Pleading with Perry was like trying to
reason with a lunatic. It WAS reasoning with a lunatic, he realized.
�While we�re waiting for the Big Bang I may as well tell you
what the rest of us have been up to since you were nearly killed
when we attempted to hijack what turned out to be a platoon
column,� Perry said chattily. �I must say we left you for dead. I
was stunned when you showed up alive on my monitors when I
assumed command of the cosmos several hours ago.�
�I assume you�re the one who released the poison gas?� Marvin
asked.
�Yes, nice stuff, isn�t it?� Perry said. �You don�t need to wear
a face mask when it�s sprayed on the bugs to keep from being killed
yourself, unlike the gas that�s manufactured by Ontario.�
�You know who made that gas, don�t you?� Aleta asked Perry.
�Your ancestors. The same ones who constructed the computer that
you�ve appropriated.�
�Stuff and nonsense,� Perry said.
�You�re not God,� Julie cried. �You�re just a human being who�s
wormed his way into the central computer that men built long ago to
run the universe, an apolitical project necessitated by a dilating
universe that man wished to bind and exploit.�
�Yes, well, I have no need for scientific theory,� Perry replied,
airily. �I AM scientific theory.�
Oh great, Marvin thought. At least the kid had saved him,
though. Maybe a human touch would bring Perry back to earth.
�Hey Perry?�
�Yes, Marvin?�
�Thanks for saving me.�
�Oh, I didn�t mean to save you, Marvin. I pushed the wrong
button. Metaphorically, of course. I was trying to blow up the
universe.� Perry paused. After a moment he rambled on: �Anyhow,
Frankie, Harrigan, Flaherty, and that electronic pussy Elsa and I
barely escaped being massacred by the infantrymen in those four
rigs. Fortunately, Flaherty found a Door along the base of a mesa. He
radioed its location to Elsa and I and we snuck around to it and
escaped with Frankie and the rest. Ah, those were the days!� Perry
said wistfully. �The bygone era of my carefree youth, before I was
burdened with the governance of the universe.�
�Retire,� Marvin suggested.
�Don�t you have any interest in your colleagues?� Perry
snapped. �Quit interrupting. In any event, we continued our criminal
escapades. Netted a lot of loot, too. We attempted to find our way
back to the desert, to retrieve your corpse if nothing else, but we
couldn�t locate that place again. We also kept hunting for a city that
had the technology to manufacture a bionic arm for you, out of
simple curiosity mostly, although Elsa thought we had gone soft on
her and were trying to find someone to sew her finger back on. We
came across a number of places like Ontario that might have the
capability in twenty years, but nowhere did they possess it right
now. To make a long story short, we were just going along as usual
when we lucked across God about a day ago. Flaherty was playing
with these knobs inlaid in a closed Door and when I touched them,
the Door sprang open. Inside there was a maze of extremely fragile
equipment, packed so dense we could hardly get by. As we stepped
around it we inevitably snapped some slender wire or shattered a
plate of ice thin glass...�
30
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