Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience.
 
 Just for background, here's some fantasies, first dictated for him to write
in his own hand, then written as him on his TRS-80 "Portable" Computor. 
Which is to say basically a Radio-Shack iComp, which still has to be
plugged in, and write in BASIC, or save/load to/from 8" Floppy. 
Incidentally, one of the first machines in the BBS father of the Undernet.
Obstensibly to tittillate his friends with sick stories of incest, sodomy,
and cuckholding, incidentally used to indict him for Childporn,
molestation, and prostitution.  Discarding him, when he was done,
inseminating her with her first child.  So, yeah, Mind Control, but
subliminal with at least 1 degree of separation.
Leitmotif: Rimsky Korsakov - Sheherazade
   ;
   Cuckhold {M...MF.  Also, Slut Spou.}
   My wife.  I took her to the bar, and she threw a drink in my face.  Then
my ring, I picked it up on the way out.  Head low, held it in front of my
to hide the shame throbbing in my pants.  Trying not to grin on my way out
the door.  Go back to the car, turning it on my fingertip, slipping it out,
then back on, dipping the nail in, and out of it.  Then smoking, out the
window.  Looking in to see her, drinking, the guys lining up, hesitant at
first, then waiting patiently while she flirted, and shot them down.  One
by one, their tails between their legs, to cry it off, and get pats on the
back by their friends.
   Soft in my lap.  No need to waste the blood, the attention, just set the
wheel up.  The windshield shining from the light over the parking lot, but
the window back lit from inside.  Like a mirror, the pecking order.  First
the top dogs, confident, easily cowing the betas, then the gammas... 
Working their way down, she doesn't like big charming confident men.  With
a nice car, wife, and kids at home.  Cock of the walk, and everyone knows
it.
   "Peacock," she calls him.  "He knows it's his, the pussy belongs to him,
all of it.  Only a matter of time..."
   But he has brotege's, betas, hang around him to pick up his sloppy
seconds, cast-offs, and throw themselves on the occasional grenade.  The
Gammas go to them, to mansplain how to be a wingman.  So they can go out,
brave in numbers, and hunt for pussy.  "The Deltas are sexual scavengers,
like you.  Look for victims, already broken in, and take what you can get.
Or easy victims, children." I know, the best ones are too young to tell, or
say "no!" And they forget, before they grow too old.
   But this, the Queen in her court.  "Huh!" Turn the key to fire up the
radio, not the motor, and slide in the tape.  Queen, Killers; "Another one
bites the dust."
   Oh, down to Gammas now, or Beta's betas, the rivalry, the Pride sitting
back to watch.  Seen this before, some of them had even been with Her. 
Hers', for a few moments.  But she always comes back to me.  Not that she's
mine, i am and forever will be Her's, but I was learning.  She pats my
cheek, "One day, when you grow up, you just might be an Alpha." Then slaps
me, "Uhn!" I let my hand down my chest, and feel the hardness in my lap.
   She's not an Alpha Male, she's an Omega Woman, the Queen, and I'm the
only one that knows it.  I am Her beta.
   Western flannel shirt pulled out, so i can cover it in a moment, mirrors
in my periphery, i don't want to spoil the mood, but i can still get in it.
Brush it aside, to rub my leg, and smack the inside uf it, 'gHn!" Yeah, she
should get to the bottom of the barrel soon.  They just jump right in her
boat.  "Just has to chum the water a little..."
   "Hh," don't touch it yet, just standing to swing upright over my flannel
covered buckle, and the bottom button of my shirt.  "Hhh!" Rubbing the
inside of her thigh.  She uncrosses her legs, looks right through the
window, then crosses them again.  Looks over, and nods.
   He can't believe his luck, I have to unbelt, and unbutton my pants to
zip them up, button, and belt them back.  Over my raging erection, I hurts,
but I cut the music.  He can't believe his luck, she catches herself on the
stool.  No wonder, didn't even get in line.  Old, fat, bald, pathetic,
probably stinks.  She's in no condition to drive, but either he hadn't been
drowning his sorrows for long, or he's one of those hard-core drunks that
drive better than sober.
   You know, when he's not getting groped, flashed, and necked by the hot
housewife, that somehow took pity on him tonight.  He swerves, a few times,
but she makes him.  I keep my eyes on the road under them, with the lights
off, don't even need the brake.  I know this road, driven it with my eyes
closed, bursting a nut in her mouth, but she has him pull over.  I cut the
engine, coast up.  Brake lights, don't need them.  He doesn't see shit.
   "Huh!" rub my hands together.  Get out, the window, so i don't have to
take out the dome light, or try to close the door silently.  No traffic,
about the only reason to head down there tonite is the bar, everyone's
already there, and it's too early for any of them to be headded back.  To
see us, just a truck, then a car pulled over to the shoulder, too far apart
for him to hear my tires on the gravel.
   "Hhhhh," deep breath, so I don't have to pant too loud, windows down, I
creep up to the quarter panel, and get my head up behind the rear pillar.
   "SCHLUP!"
   "Uhn!" I think he holds his breath after that, I can see his face, but
his eyes are squeezed tight.  "Huhuh!" he lets out a shuddering breath, but
she sits up, grinning, and wiping her mouth.  Turns, and reaches up.  Pulls
the lock stem, but I already kicked my boot forward, to stand up, grab the
door handle, and "Bitch!" Pull her out by the hair.
Khhhhhh!.:';'.
He roostertails, fishtails, and catches enough pavement to take off, the
door flapping back out, then slamming shut.
   She grinned in the receeding light.  "SPWHO*!"
   I winked, and grimmaced, turning away, then she smacked the other cheek
to turn me back.  "That Hurt!" Patting her hair.  I laughed, and grabbed
her belt.  "Forcing" her back, okay, running backwards, laughing, drunk, in
heels.  Not real high ones, and broad, but still.  In the dark, on Gravel.
"Hihihihihn!"
   Falling back on the hot hood, her hair spraying up, then rolling back
down to her shoulders.  "Huh!" Her miniskirt coming open, with her heels
pressed in my back.  Pulling me in, and the smell of her lust hitting me
while she crosses them, squeezing my sides hard, and pulling out my belt.
So hard the tongue lashes out, and slaps her thigh.
   "Uhn!" She closes her eyes, and bites her smiling lip.  "Huh!"
   So i finish getting it out, holding it down in her stubble so she
relaxes.  A little to let me back out, aiming, and slipping down...  And,
just hold still.
   .
   .
   "UHN!" She stabs me into her, then grunts.  I thought, she was having an
orgasm, the first time.  Felt her midriff, tighten, and ripple through her
skirt, and half open blouse.
   "Ngh!" No, she's doing that.  To me, I'm not making her cum, she's
jerking me off, with her muscles.  It just takes, like all her
concentration.  I don't fuck her, I can't.  She won't let me, and she'd
probably bite it off, spit it in my face.  "Nyuhhh!"
   She relaxes, I can barely feel more than her warmth, even as it
twitches, and spatters wetly inside her.
   'huh.' She sighs.  "That it?" i look, she's.  Disappointed in me.
   "I'm sorry," even as the last of it twitches out.
   "Huh!" she rolls her eyes, "Well," pushes me off, "You've got all night
to make it up to me." She grunts, to hold it in.  Long enough to get out
her underwear, put them on.  I hold the door, help her in.  She crosses her
legs, belted up, and i go around to get in my side.  "KRHALK!" She wipes
her mouth, leaning back in to pull the door, and I hand her a Gatorade.
   "Should've let that slimy sacka shit fuck me first.  Like he would've
lasted longer, what're you, twelve?"
   "Hhuhh!" NOW, i was starting to get in the mood!  I nodded, hands steady
on the wheel.
   "Explains the widow kiddie dick, huh!  I haven't seen one that small
since i was potty training.  Fuck, it get any bigger when it's hard?"
   I shrugged.
   "Well, maybe I'll keep you around, till your balls drop, and you start
growing hairs on 'em.  You like that?"
   "Yeah," I nodded.  "And stay outta my underwear!  All my panties smell
like ass, you pissy little shit.  I swear, can't leave you alone a fucking
second, without you sneaking in, and spraying your filthy mess all over. 
When you get home, I want you to lick them all clean."
   "Yes," I hesitated.
   "Sister," Oh good!
   "Yes, sister!"
   When we got home, i only had to lick out one pair.  Then she took them
off, to get all that leaked out in them, then i got to suck her off.
   Then, she started getting in the mood...
   b {Auto Mast Voye.  Yes, the capitalIzation is intentional.}
   i prefer to remain anonymus, and not out anyone i know.  i will say they
called me 'bee,' for short.  Like a rapper, though none of us had hearda
rap before.  my Momma liked to call me "honeybee," and that's how it
started.
   i don't remember the first time, but i have an idea why.  my Mommy is a
bit of a whore.  Not a professional Prostitute, i can't say she never done
it for money, but be'd always do it for something.  Sometimes dinner, or
rent, or just because she's horny.  She gets likeat, sometimes, and didn't
always hide it so well.
   Or have the patience for rubbers, I guess I could be thankful for that.
It's not like she walked around naked all the time, or ever thought of
touching me, nor children.  but men, she could do.  And we're poor, but
would have been a lot poorer without them.  She'd say "Go to bed now," and
usually at least take him in her room.  But I knew, seen it, i can't
remember the first time.
   But i knew, a lot more about sex in 4th grade than even the high
schoolers.  I mean, word got around, and they came to Me with questions. 
They had porn, I didn't need.  When i started plying with myself, I could
remember, every conceivable sex act, between men and a woman at least.  I
was still an only child, and we're at the apartments, so i had to be 5, or
6.  Still had all my baby teeth, I didn't turn seven there, we moved a lot
too.
   Lying awake, I couldn't sleep, and I knew what that felt like.  Being
too hot and hard, to get comfortable.  Mom out, or quiet, alone in the
dark, just me and my favorite toy.  For all I know, they were done, and
passed out drunk in the room next to me, but I could remember.  Him, his
dick, hard like this, and I couldn't make a fist without it slipping out,
but that was cool too.  So, I made fists, and popped them off, over and
over so the skin pulled out, then snapped back over it.
   Rock hard, so stiff the head pushed out, and rubbed the sheet when I let
go.  Shitty rough plastic threads, if I read the label, I don't remember,
but cheap, and rough on my dry sensitive hard little head.  I remembered
when i got up, and pulled the door open more, enough to see the sofa. 
Ducking back when i saw her, but she was turned away.  He had his head back
on the couch, and I think his eyes were closed, but she bent over.  Sitting
on the coffee table, and bobbing up and down until her hair fell off her
shoulder, and around her neck.
   I pushed it down, and let it go so it switched back up.  Under the
sheet, it made me grunt, and jerk.  "Huh!" I held the sheet between my
knees, and chin to push it back down, let it run through the rough dry fold
of plastic threads, and let go again.  "Huh!" I had to pull the sheet back
up, so I held it there with the other hand.  Tight, to let my switch push
down, and spring back up on it's own.
   Instead of pushing and pulling it, beating off in her face, or on her
chest, tummy, or legs, if he could get the rubber off fast enough.  If she
could wait to get the rubber on.  I never saw her suck a guy off before,
but I don't really like it.  you can't see it, but I looked down.  There
was enough light in the hall to see the sheet go flat over the back of my
thumb, then spring back up, "Huh!" Before i had to close my eyes again.
   I tried that, beating off, but I'm not big enough, and this feels so
much better.  I did it in my underwear too, I didn't even have to remember,
any of the men with my mom.  All I needed was a hardon, and time alone to
play with it.  Get my pants open, but pull my belt tight enough to hold
them up, gripped over in my other hand while I had one in to push it down,
and let it switch back up.  "Huh!" Every time, it never got old, I just did
it until I was satisfied.
   It was years before I was old enough to get off.
   Momma's Little Whore {fB-M...F Pros.  Sorry for jumping around so much,
but these are separate/interlaced fantasies, over an extended campaign of
Mind Control.  Bare with me.}
   "Go on," she kissed my head, "Make momma proud."
   "Yes, Mother."
   She pushed me in her room, closed the door quietly, but didn't lock it.
   The lady she payed, sat up in Her bed.  She had red hair, in ringlets.
Like mommy's, only red.  They spilled over her shoulders, but didn't spring
down over her chest.  "Huh!" She shook her head, "You ready, big boy?" I
looked down at my pants, "You ready to become a man?"
   I shrugged, "I guess," she's pretty.  Not, as beautiful as Mother, but
nobody is.  It just wouldn't be right, she told me.  We can't get exactly
what we want, all the time.  Well, i can't, but she was sexy, i guess.
   "I know you're nervous, it's your first time, and that's okay.  I'll
show you what to do."
   "How old are you?"
   "Sixteen." Too young, for another thing.  "Don't be shy."
   She pulled my shirt out, unbuttoned my pants.  Held my hips, between her
knees.  "But," I looked back.  "my Mom." Right outside the door.
   "Don't think about her," she sighed.  she doesn't know Her.  "How old
are you, honey?"
   "Thirteen?" I shrugged.
   "Well," she pulled my switch so it squirted between her fingers.  It
slipped in, so just the skin was in her fingers, then she relaxed them, so
it could squirt back out.  I closed my eyes.  "Can I," I reached up.
   "Go on," my hands bumped her chest, but I felt up her shoulders, to her
hair.
   "Huh!" I rubbed it on my chest.  It didn't smell quite right, but with
my eyes closed, i couldn't see that it wasn't black, with tiny silver
threads scattered through it.  "Hhh!" It curled, and twisted in my fingers,
rolling up my chest.  'hhh,'
   "You're weird," I blinked.  she shrugged, and put her head down.  I had
a switch, so she sucked it, and I found that feels much better than
watching it.  "Hh!" but I couldn't rub her hair all the way up to my chest,
my hard sensitive nipples, so I just rolled it around on my tummy, and
between my fingers.  "Neah."
   "Shlp, slhk, slup..."
   "Nh!" She stopped, held it, swallowing.  "NhHhn?" My knees fell to the
side of the bed, but she held my butt, and rubbed it.  "Hh!" sat up, and
wiped her mouth.  Smiled up at me.  I looked down, she had a beard, and it
was black.
   I pushed her shoulders, and she fell back.  Laughing, her chest heaving,
and rocking.  Her knees already open, I put my hands down, and bent over.
To her dark curly pubes, to smell them.  I don't know what Hers smell like,
but i don't have to imagine.  Close my eyes, and think they're black. 
"Snhhh!" I pulled them, pinched between my lips, pinched between my teeth.
   "Hnh!" she felt my hair, tilted my head, pushed my chin down between her
legs.  "Yeah!"
   I kissed her.  I seen it, but it's even worse than a blowjob.  For
actually seeing, what's going on.  How to do it.  "Just, lick it," her
fingers tightened on my head, "Yeah, faster, nh." She eventually guided me
to the top.  The tiny little thing that made her hips buck, like my dick
switching in the seat.  "Neah, yeah!  Faster!" So, I flipped my tongue tip
as fast as I could.
   "hahh!..' It trailed off, to a sigh, and relaxed.  I slipped my tongue
down, tasted something.  Wet, and deep, and yeasty like bread starter. 
"Hhuhuhuh!" Her hands shook, and she let go, to just let them shake on her
legs.  'yeah,' barely a whisper.
   "Huh!" I stood up, licked my lips.  Grinning.
   "Oh!' she blinked, "God, where'd you learn to eat twat like that?" She
blushed, all over.  I shrugged, and felt up her thighs.  "Ngh!" she closed
her eyes.
   Like I saw him, I don't know, this guy do.  To pull her lips open, and
push my switch down.  Hold it, to feel around, and aim.  "Hm!" So, that's
what it feels like.  She felt my hips, pulled her fingers tight around my
but, and squeezed them, while I fucked her.
   As much as I could, enough stroke for the skin to switch in and out, and
feel her push open with the tip.  "Mh," close my eyes, "Mh, mh." Harder
than it looks, but if I concentrate, I can feel it.  Her inside, with my
head, slipping in, and out.  "Hn hh, huh!" But I have to breathe, and keep
it on rhythm, to not pull out to far.
   Like I practiced, with a pillow folded over, or anything else i could
do, but I could hold the pillow just right.  Hug it, and push it in and out
to feel the fine cotton pillowcase.  Much nicer than a sheet, but she
didn't have to warm up with friction, she wasn't dry, she was warm, and
wet, and alive, breathing under me, "Nh!"
   I stopped, to hold my skin back, tight inside her.  "Yeah!" She relaxed,
I though she'd start kissing around me, like she did to my tongue, but she
just caught her breath until I was done.  It didn't take long.
   Big Brother {This is a rewrite of his original fantasy, and as you
should know by now, every time you retell it...}
   It wasn't the first time I changed my brother, but the first time i
opened his diaper, and saw he was hard.  I giggled, because then i realized
I was hard too.  He giggled back, so i touched it, pulled the skin, then
tried to push it down.  It wouldn't go down, but his little head peeked
out, so i could see his pisshole.
   It was dark, like a bruise, so I let it go.  Mine isn't that tight, i
can pull it down to clean inside, like momma showed me to.  "Hh," I got it
out, to show him, but he felt around down there, until he could find it. 
he didn't pull it right, so I turned him sideways on the bed, so I could
show him.
   And move his fat little hands, so he could feel what it was like.  Well,
not really, but I could pinch it, and slip the skin up and down, as much as
it would go.  He giggled, and watched me.  He couldn't grip mine either, I
tried it, but his hands came off.  So, i just kept pumping away, and
pulling his little one at the same time.  So, he could imagine it was his
big dick, pumping over him.  he kept laughing, and patted his belly,
thighs, kicking and giggling wide mouthed, the way he smiles, with no
teeth.
   "Ngh!" I let go, but my knees went weak, and I almost fell down.  Sat
down on the carpet, but it felt.  Weird, it kept jumping, and twitching,
but i just held onto the carpet.  And shook hard, trying not to fall the
rest of the way down until I started shivering, and I could breathe.  And
open my eyes, but he was just giggling, and playing with his feet.
   "Huh!" I pulled my pants up, and stood up before he rolled off the bed
or something.  Then i pulled out the wet nappy, and dried him on the
outside.  Unfolded a clean one, and picked him up by the ankles to slide it
on.  The pins were right where i left them, stuck in the quilt.
   Then, I just had to think of it again.  To get hard, and stroke off to
that wonderful feeling.  Remembering the first time, with my brother. 
Little davey, I love him.  The next time, I found out he's really good at
sucking, too.
   ;
   Virginia {Bf Pros/Cuck Cons}
   She came back, Momma's little whore.  She said, "It was amazing, that
was your first time." I guess it was a week or two later.
   "Why?"
   "Because I've never met anyone else that made love like you." And she's
a prostitute.  Her hair was straight, and hung down so I could see the
black roots.  Okay, a young one, but still, she sure was no virgin.
   Mom said it was "Great!  You're old enough to have a girlfriend now,"
and didn't mention she decided to make me a man, because she caught me
fucking Davey.  And, it makes sense, if I have sex with her, I don't have
to have sex with him, but she told me to stop that, and asked him to make
sure it was over.  he wouldn't lie to her, he's old enough to know better.
   So, 'Ginny asked me if it was okay, if she kept working.  I thought it
was "Great," she could dye her hair black, and curl it into ringlets for
me.
   She asked me, "I know you love your mom, but," she looked away, "She
doesn't, molest you or anything, does she?"
   "No," I shook her head, "Of course not," laughed, "She never touched me.
I mean, she touches me, she is my mom, lived with her my whole life, but
never like that!"
   "Good," because it turns out her dad touched her like that, until she
became a big girl, so she could fuck his friends.  How she got in the
business.  "Oh, that," didn't really sound, "Too bad." But she cried, so I
didn't want to hurt her feelings.  "Huh!"
   Then she got pregnant, so mom took her in.  Wasn't my baby, we always
used protection, but I guess maybe she forgot the rubber.  It happens, "No,
I like it."
   "What?"
   "The kind of work you do.  It's like, our first time.  A virgin don't
know how to do nothing," like a baby, "So you have to do everything until
they learn, but since my mom's a whore."
   "I prefer Pro."
   "Okay, a pro.  So, anyway, that's why I knew what to do.  It's not
private, i mean I'm not supposed to watch, but you know how sometimes you
need to talk about it?" Some johns piss her off, too.  "Well, mom has to
too, so I know it sucks to get a selfish man, that just gets off, and does
nothing for you.  That's why i made sure you got off first, because they
can just give you the money and leave, they never care about you.  Your
pleasure, Mhm?"
   She kissed me,
   "mwha was that for?"
   Then she told me "I love you."
   "Yeah, you too." I lied, but I bet I could learn to love her.  When she
gets a little older, like mom.
   "Uh," which is good, cause now I can ask:
   "Yeah?"
   "You think I could watch, sometime?"
   "That would be great." She hugged me, and sighed.  "Actually," over my
shoulder, "I think I would feel better, safer knowing you're there."
   "Yeah," they both told me, "Guys can get scary." She nodded.
   "Huh!" She pushed me down, "Make love to me now."
   I shrugged, "Okay..."
   Davy {Bg Nepi Ince Mole.  With incidental flashbacks to B-m/b Fraternal
incest.}
   Momma got a big house, we all had our own room.  Well, Evette's was the
Nursery, I'm supposed to stay outta there, but she stopped crying at night,
and I wanted to see.  She's potty training, I remember that, so she still
wears nappies at night.
   But she's a girl, so.  The first time I saw it, I thought she was hurt.
it looked like a cut, like somebody cut it off.  The doctors had to cut the
end off mine, it got infected, and swolled too tight so it hurt.  All the
time, until I went to the doctor to cut it off.
   So, I asked my brother, and said "Yeah, she's a girl.  She don't stick
out, she sticks in."
   "Oh.  Why?"
   "For fuckin."
   We don't do that no more, Momma said stop.
   But it made sense, boys stick out, and girls stick in, why her belly
button is an outy, and I have an innie.  Then, I got up in the night, and
went to see her in the nursery.  She wasn't wet, but she didn't wake up.  I
couldn't stick it in, in the crib, but I didn't pull her out.  She was
sleepy, so I just looked, and touched it, and pulled the skin out to the
scar.  It didn't hurt no more.  I don't remember it, they put a mask on me,
so I'd fall a sleep.  Then when I woke up, I had a bandage on it.
   It hurt, especially when I peed it at night.  Like a tiny diaper, so I
kept wrapping it with gauze, but I used a rubber band instead of tape.  She
caught me, getting tape, and I wouldn't tell her what it's for.  It's
private, that's like a secret.  So, I just kept a rubber band, but when I
take it off.  In the morning, especially when I didn't pee, and it's hard,
I can roll it down, and take off the peepi.  It's just like I got my skin
back, so I can roll it off so it snaps.  Sometimes it pinches the skin, and
snaps.  I like that, so I learned how to do it.  It hurts, but I really
like it?  Weird.
   Or when I pee in the middle of the night, I can get up, and sneak in the
nursery.  To get it hard.  She likes it, she she wakes up.  She likes to
play with it too, and sucks it like my brothers.  It's private, don't tell
mom.  I don't want to get in trouble like he did.  But she can get up, and
walk.  She can talk too, but I told her.  "Don't tell mom, it's private."
She covered her privates, and nodded.
   She can't say much yet, it's a while before she said 'Privates.' She
whispered, so mom would not hear her.  She was downstairs, but you can't be
too sure.  So, we played behind the door.  So, we have to move if she cums
up, I can fix my pants, and she helps me get the diaper up.
   She said "Diapa" first, she likes it.  Even after mom stopped making her
wear them, except to bed, she got panties, but she still liked playing
diapa.  She didn't have a baby-doll.  She got old enough to play with
mommy's dolls, with mommy.  They had china faces, and hands.  Fragile
fingers, so she wouldn't break them.  Then, she put them up.
   Then, she got a big girl bed.  So, I could fuck her, but I had to be
careful.  Momma checks, when she tucks her in at night.  But I'm still
little, so I don't break it.  I don't want to, that would hurt, and then
she'd have to go to the doctor, and get a bandage.  Like Mommas, she gets a
box a month, but smaller I guess.  She's not as big as Mama, but she told
me.  She don't got one, she's broken.  From having my brother, I figure. 
That's gotta break it.
   But he was right, when I got older, I was big enough to fuck.  I turned
five, and I guess that was enough.  I'm gonna start school, real school in
the fall.  I'm just finished with Kindergarten.
   Analy Sis {Pun intended.  Really need story codes on this one?  All
right: Mbg, Incest.  Anal, duh.  You happy?  ;}
He was supposed to watch us, but he told me to "Go play with dolls, or
something." But that's boring, and I heard them.  Cumming down the stairs,
in Davy's room.  I knew when I hear him grunt, and Davy moan, even before I
heard that pat pat pat through the door.  I giggled, then reached my hand
from my mouth to the door.  I needed both hands, and i swung from it, but
it don't lock.  Only Momma's doors lock.  "Uhn?" He saw me, and stopped. 
Davy grunted, and got up.
   "Whatcha doin?" Fuckin'.
   "Nothing, go away." He was stickin out, and shiney.
   "Your fuckin'."
   "Don't say that," he started hanging, and pulled his pants up.  Getting
up, I got on the door, and leaned back on it.  "Get outta my room, I'll
tell."
   I giggled, didn't cover it, then "H ha!  I'll tell momma your fuckin
Davy." Right up in his face.
   "It's private."
   "Yeah, but I wanna play to." His eyes got big, and his mouth wide open
like the babydoll.  "And how you do it, without a pissy?" There boys, they
don't have pissies.
   "In the butt,"
   "Davy!"
   "It's all right, I been fuckin her too." He looked back and forth,
"Likeya said, I'm to little to fuck you, but she's little enough for fuckin
her."
   "Ugh,"
   "You fuckinthe butt!" I giggled, and pointed.
   "You wanna play?" I nodded, "Well this game," pulled off my dress. 
"Well," pushed down my underwear.  "Uh," had to sit down to pull them over
my shoes.
   "You gotta get it out to." I pointed.
   "Okay," I turned to davy, "I got to get you wet first." I nodded, spread
my legs, "No, get up, and bend over." I turned around too.
   "Nh," I didn't like it as much.  As in my pissy, but he licked it real
good anyway.
   "Here, you ready?"
   I nodded.  "Nh!" It didn't feel as good as fuckin my pissy, neither. 
"Uh!"
   "Let me try," he pushed Davy out of the way.
   "Ah!" that hurt me, "Ow!" I just pulled off.  "Ngh!" Went flat on the
floor.  He grabbed me, so I turned over.  "No!" I bung a knee up, but wound
up kicking with my shin.
   "Guhn!" He bent over, squeezing tears out.  So, I grabbed his hair, and
kneed him on the chin.  "Kunk!" I think he bit his tongue.  I think he was
sayin somethin, but i didn't hear it.  But he fell off, and Davy had to
pull me off him.  He was asleep, so I started crying, and davy held onto me
till I stopped.  Then, he fucked my but.  It made me really horny, so when
our big brother woke up, he fucked my pissy too, and with both of them, it
felt so good.  I felt really good before, even passed out, and woke up
still warm and dreamy, but i never felt so good before.  So that's it, you
need 2 pissers.  Because i got 2 holes, or maybe three?  I can get them
wet, but I only need one hand for that, so maybe 4?
   "Hihn hin hin!" It took a while before I could breath right.  Now,
where'm I gonna get so many boys from?  I felt wet, and slimy too.  Sticky,
and white when I looked at it.
   "Eat it," I looked up at my brother, down at him zippin up his pants. 
"It's real yummy."
   "Ew, Phtew!" He lied.  And laughed, so I hit him.  Not real hard, but he
stopped laughing.
   Big Girl: By Mother Love {At some point, she gets her husband arrested,
and starts fucking with her DM in college.  Keeps writing, though;
   g-f Solo, CisV.}
   Well, we got caught, so the boys {Or Christina} were taken off, and I
was sent to live with this family in the old Mennonite house.  Then I got
my hands on some real, big girl panties.  My first pair.  Well, you know,
the first ones I fell in love with, I always got underwear for Christmas,
and on my birthday.  But this time I insisted on shopping with mom. 
"That'll ruin the surprise!" {It was nice to have a "Mom," a "Dad," and
"Brothers."}
   "Uh!  But I already know what I'm getting, and I hate the same ones I
get year after year."
   "Why, what's wrong with them?"
   "Well, they're ugly, for one thing, and they make me feel sweaty, all my
friends have prettier ones like yours."
   "I told you to stay out of my private things,"
   "I know, mom.  But I still saw them, and my friends call me "plain Jane"
because of my clothes.
   "And the cotton ones last longer."
   "Yeah but, do they have to be white?  I mean with a little color or
something, the pee staining wouldn't show, and what about when I get my
period?"
   "Grace!" She gasped, "you're six!" {Or, you know, 12.}
   "I know, mom, but my birthday is in a few days, and Marcie started when
she was 8."
   "Is that who you heard about it from?" Then it turned into this whole
big argument, and I told her she's just racist because she's black, and we
kept yelling until I made her slap me, but that's how I remember the
conversation.
   Then, she took me out with her, shopping to make it up to me, so I
stopped crying.  She never hit me very hard, but as soon as she said "Stop
being so hysterical," I knew it was coming, and turned my head so she
almost missed.
   "No, Gracie.  Those are too expensive." Satin, with a little bow in top,
and frills around the edges.  "And they'd never fit you." I pretended to
put them back, but stuck them in my purse when she turned around.  "How
'bout these?" The same ones, but in color, pink, blue, and yellow, but with
2 pairs of each.
   "How about these?" They were cotton, but with ribbon around the edges at
least.  I read the package, "Nylon," I showed her, "That lasts longer then
cotton, right?" She looked at the price, so I looked down, pouted, and
wrinkled my chin.  "Sniff."
   "All right, well get these too, but those better last you, Gracie." I
really wear out underwear.  "Can we go home now?"
   "I want to try them on," I went to the changing room, but she took the
open pack with her to go pay for them.  "Huh!" The ribbon had stars around
it, on the waist, but the ones around the legs folded over.  Kind of neat
how the points stuck out, but on the inside they kind of zigzagged in
white, like a _M_.
   I stuck them in my purse, took my pants off, and kicked the old ones
under the bench.  "HUH!" They felt better then I imagined!  Satiny, of
course, but the ruffles between my legs, and around my hips.  I pulled my
pants back on, but even sitting down, tying up my shoes, I could still feel
them.  Under my butt, in pants, on the painted board seat, but still the
satin on my bottom, and the frills between my legs.  I had to pull the
waist up, and the elastic tighter in my pants so they didn't slip down.
   But she was wrong, I did grow into them.  I didn't wear them, all the
time, but at least I didn't have to wait until I could fill her underwear.
She's a big girl, and after 5 kids, she had the biggest hips.  At least for
a white lady.  My dad likes it, not that he said anything.  "Not around the
children," but that's where his eyes go, when she turned around.
   Mom said not to, ever let boys look at me in my underwear.  Or touch me
there, anywhere it covered, but I stopped with the skirts and dresses, as
much.  Except on Sundays, pants and even shorts are hotter, but I found I
can feel my underwear better in them.
   I don't know what it is, about them, but I always had a thing with
underwear.  Ever since I got in her drawers, and found the special ones my
daddy got her.  The best, not all of them, but I could tell which ones he
got special for her.  Not that he showed me but my favorite even had frills
in the middle.
   They came together like a zipper, I guessed so you can pee in them, but
don't they get in the way?  Maybe cause I was so little, I only got to play
in them once, then she came up and whooped me when she found me in them. 
She even made me take them off first, so I was bare assed.  I never dared
again, when she was home, and when I finally got a chance, they're gone. 
Just her plain Jane cotton ones, white so she can bleach them until they
fall apart, so I put everything back the way I found it.
   As soon as we got home, I went in the bathroom.  Mom wrapped them up,
then started on dinner, but the mirror was way up there.  Over the sink, I
had to climb up, but I wished I had more time with the one in the changing
room.  I giggled, she never said I couldn't.  Or look at other girls' but I
knew what she would think of that.  I tried to see my bottom, but they
puffed out all around me.  They really are too loose, so bent over like
that I can't really see them with the medicine cabinet swung out.
   So, I had to climb up, on the sink cabinet.  With the door shut, I could
hold onto the towel ring, and twist around.  I almost fell, but it felt
like I shocked myself.  So, I climbed back down, fixed the towels, and even
remembered to flush the toilet before I went back out.  To my room, I heard
mom cooking, or looking for the cake pans, so I changed underwear, and his
the best ones, while I could.
   ;
   It was years before I felt that jolt again.  I knew nothing about sex,
heard my father say "fuck" once, but mom still scolded him.  And he needed
stitches, the first time I saw him cry.  I didn't see Marcie again, except
in class, cause her bus went the wrong way, and she lived on the other side
of town.  Not that I wanted to obay my mother, I just didn't really think
about her.  But she was my first girl.
   She had weird underwear, or I saw them, and thought they looked weird.
So, I asked about them, and she shrugged, but she was the first girl I saw
wearing them, and she had a big old butt.  For her size, same grade as me,
I didn't touch her or anything.  I just thought it was weird, but maybe
that's when I started getting interested?  Maybe, was it before I started
getting into mom's drawer.  All the way at the top, so I had to get on the
chair from her vanity.
   She has her own bathroom, right behind mine.  The boys had to use the
one downstairs, since they don't have one on their side, but that's the one
with the bathtub, anyway.  2 stairs, too.  I didn't even think that was
weird, but I'd never seen that, either.  Boy space, I played on the steps
some times, but somehow I knew not to go up there.
   The second girl was Claudia, I didn't have a best friend ever, but we
went over to her house for new years, I think, and I got to play in her
room.  She had dolls, so we got those out with the brushes, and the teeny
little mirror, then I found the box of clothes.  "No underwear," I pouted,
but she had her undressed, so we put another top, and pants on.  "There all
broken," she grunted to get the tiny snap with her thumb, "So I threw them
out."
   "Well," I pulled out her bottom drawer, "Where's yours?"
   "In the top," so I had to get up.  Just cotton ones, I didn't get my
nice ones, or I would have worn them for the party, but they had
princesses. I guess I still had to be six, then.  I wore my Sunday best,
"Can I try these?" Well, Cinderella wasn't technically a princess, Belle
either, when that came out.  I guess until they got married, but both
movies go off before that.
   "I have all of them," I guess I liked the stiffness, on the other side.
She looked away, when I took my whitish ones off.  No, after Christmas, so
they had to be fresh white.  Not ratty from all the bleachings, but I hated
the way fresh ones felt.  Or don't feel, like nothing, or being naked under
your skirt, which I don't like either.
   "You wanna be Snow White," I held up one pair, looked at any their, "Or
sleeping beauty?".  These were new too, so the plastic paint on the front
was still stiff, instead of brittle and flaky from the dryer.  Why I
decided not to get those, they didn't last at all.  And they only feel good
when they're brand new.
   My first boy was Wayne.  No relation, but he's black too, like Marcie
but from a different family.  I noticed his butt first, and the way he
played with his friends.  They slapped each others buts, or hit their arms.
"Fag," they called everything "Gay" too.  My dad, and my brothers too. 
They didn't tell me, but he told them, and they talked about it.  They
never played with me, and hated me tagging along unless mom made them watch
me.
   But I found out what it ment.  Oh, and the preacher, "Abomination," I
had to ask, cause I wasn't supposed to be out of Sunday school.  "If a man
lies with another man like a woman, then both them are to be put to death!"
So, that bad.  Not a lot of blacks, actually.  Not in our town, but there's
more at school.  From the inner city, but he had the nicest butt.
   "Hey!" He coveted it up, and turned around, "What the hell is that for?"
   "Its okay," I thought up a excuse, "I'm a girl."
   "So?" He looked around.
   "So, its not gay!" Flawless logic.
   Except, "Yeahbut girls don't just go around slapping asses, aite?" Good
point, "Its embarrassing, damn!"
   He walked off, but.  "All right, I'm." I took a breath, " Sorry, but I
don't know what come over me.  I like your rear, you got the nicest one
around, I always thought so, and I thought you liked it."
   "Why?"
   "Well, you let your friends do it."
   "They just playin'."
   "Yeah, but there guys, doncha ever think one of them started it because
they gay?"
   "No?" He did now, "but now you mention it."
   "Yeah, see?  If its okay for guys," I had to, he stopped walking, but I
just rubbed it, "Then its not fair I don't get to when its not even gay."
   "Okay," he nodded, "You just s'prized me, 'sall."
   "There," I squeezed it too, "Doesn't that feel nice?"
   "Yeah," his muscle, felt like it got softer, pushing back in my hand. 
"That do feel nice.  Mindif I feel on yours?  I mean, is only fair, right?"
   "Okay," when I only been dreaming about feeling someone else's hand
through my underpants forever, "I guess that's okay.  Hhhh!" My knees gave
out, so he caught me.  Held on with both hands, so I just hugged him, and
squeezed his big hard alive feeling but.  It wasn't like mine at all, or
even Marcie's when she showed me the blood in her panties, and went to take
a shower.
   They were still warm, and smelled tangy, but I couldn't help thinking
its because she just took them off, and I just saw them stretched tight
over her bottom.  They were elastic, not just the waist, even the legs were
stretchy.  She threw them out, but I washed them before I tried them on. 
They didn't fit me either.  Dark blue, her momma got her pantiliners so she
didn't mess up any more.  Then she called my momma to come pick me up.
   "Hey," I blinked up.
   "Darius?"
   "Yeah?"
   "Why am I on the ground?"
   "Why, I believe you fainted, and hit yur head."
   It did hurt.  "Oh," I felt blood in my hair.
   "Uh," he helped me up.  "Whas yo name?"
   "Oh," I laughed, "Grace." Ironically.
   "You wanna go see the nurse?"
   "No," I headed for the restroom, "But I better go wash my hair out,"
before it gets all dry, and icky.
   I don't guess it was that night, but later I felt that jolt again.  I
was just trying to pull them tight over my butt, but up on my knees like
that, it pulled the ruffles through me, and I guess they brushed my clit. I
just flopped down, but once I felt that, I figured out how to get them to
go up inside me, and humped my bed until I passed out.
   It felt so good it hurt.  I always loved, my favorite panties and all,
but that's when I really fell in love.  The first time I made love to them.
   The next day, I really wanted to see his.  So, we skipped lunch, and I
showed him my secret place.  Where I can go, when all the girls gang up on
me, or just be alone and think.  I found out I don't like kissing, it hurts
my neck, but he does.  As long as he keeps feeling my butt, I kept kissing,
and felt around his belt to the buckle in the front.
   He stopped, "Hey," let me go, "Doncha think we going to fast?"
   "Well," I pulled it out, "You seen my underpants" flipped the little
spike out the hole, "So, its only fair if I see yours, right?".
   Only cause I flashed him, whenever I got the chance.  "Were you get
these, anyways?" He felt the ribbons through my skirt.
   "I made them."
   "You sow?"
   "Yeah?  What's that look for?  My mom taught me, I never liked to
before, but I couldn't find none that fit me, so I fixed up a pair."
   "Oh, well I guess I never.  Why I never seen any so fancy before, is
all." Well, I just took the ones with the pink trim, and added some ribbons
I found.  Its not like stitching the sides of doll panties when they break
trying to get them back on the doll so they still fit, I just thought they
needed some more bows, and I like the feel of the seams where they cross in
the bottom.  Between the pink ribbons around the hems with white hearts
folded in half.  Ask me why the baby blue ones have little white bows, but
I ruined those with the yellow ribbons I found.  I didn't care about them
anyway, why I practiced on them first, but I got some deep blue ribbons to
fix the yellow starry ones now I know how.
   The bell rung, but I saw them, and.  I don't know what I was expecting,
but I was disappointed by plain white cotton.  Maybe some guns, or trucks
or something.
   "Why's it got a pocket?"
   He pushed my hand away.  "It don't,"
   "Come on," I tried to pull his pants open again, but he's to strong,
"Whatcha keep in there?"
   "Nothing?"
   "Now your lying to me?  I felt it, what is that?"
   But the bell rang, so we had to go to class.  I didn't see him again, I
swear he was avoiding me but he was so fast I could never catch him.  But
it was so weird, I couldn't stop thinking about it, and then I guess I got
kind of obsessed with boys underpants after that.
   Now, the boys are on the other side of the stairs.  I didn't think about
that, since its the house I grew up in, but the stairs went both ways at
the landing, and they even had to use the bathroom downstairs, because
there isn't one on that side.  That's the one with a bathtub, though.  I
use it too, since mom and dads have a shower, and its too high for me.
   But then, I had to wait for them to leave me alone.  Mom went out, I
forget where our daddy took them, but she took me, and when she was in the
kitchen, I went up, and snook over to there side.
   There undies had pockets too, but whatever they keep in them, I guess
they took it with them.  I remember one said "my balls" and in sports they
have to wear a cup or something.  I got hit there too sometimes, and it
hurt, but maybe if they didn't carry around a cup full of balls all the
time.
   But Derry's was empty, and it didn't feel like balls.  I barely touched
it, or them, but it felt squishy, and warm in his pants like that.  These
were cold, and had some dirty stains in the bottom, but didn't smell farty,
so I guess they was clean but not bleached enough.  The littlest ones might
fit me, so I took them, and hurried back across the stairs before she got
done putting the food up.
   ;
   So, I wore those a while.  With pants, but my new and improved undies
with skirts, or my dress on Sundays.  I liked the pocket, to hide stuff in,
since nobody would touch me there.  They don't dare, I miss Darius, though.
I wish I knew what I done to scare him off.
   "Uh," I guess that's how I decided that boys just break your heart, if
you stick around long enough to let them.  Mom said they might pretend to
be your friend but they only want one thing.  That's not it though, I
wanted him in my panties too, but then he got scared and ran away, cause
he's a coward.  That's it, he's just a stupid coward, so he gets scared
when a girl knows what she wants and goes after it.  Its sexist, too.  I'd
think being black he'd understand, but guess not.  Notblike they treat
black folk any better.
   Then the boys come home, I mean not right then, that night, but the next
big thing is when Louis found the National Geographic.  They got so exited,
and ran upstairs, I could hear them giggling, but mom came out just as I
was listening on the landing.  "There naked!" I heard there muffled laughs,
but went downstairs to help mom set the table.  Instead of telling, thought
about it, but you know I never wondered if boys were different?
   I mean, well you know what I mean, but at the time I had gotten this
close to touching a penis, and all I knew was the pee spots weren't in the
right place.  They were all over the place, like someone poked a bunch of
holes all over the place, no wonder there pants were such a mess.  And the
pocket made for 2 plies to soak through, and I noticed even the cotton was
thicker.
   Still hadn't even seen a urinal, had no idea they didn't have to sit
down on the toilet except for number 2.  I began to wonder though, and if
they're naked in the National Geographic, then that means maybe I can see
it.  Not if I tell mom, and she takes them away.  They stopped tearing all
the underwear pages out of the catalogues, though.  I thought mom did that,
so I couldn't have them.
   I just had to wait for another chance, to find it.  Or several more,
they his it well, and I didn't get to sneak across very often.  I knew I'd
be in big trouble
   Sword fighting.  I swear, that's what they were doing.  I found I could
sneek across the stairs, at night.  The knew they could do almost anything,
clear across the house, as long as it wasn't too loud.  If they hit the
back wall hard enough, we could feel it over here, but other then that. 
And tat wasn't fair, if I played to loud with my dolls, mom would come
across the all to yell at me, but they don't even have to stay in bed, they
could get up, and play all night.
   "Kish!".  They pulled their pants down.  It was weird, and funny, but
they was to busy, so they didn't gear.  " Ching!".  Teh was hard, I never
saw one soft before, and say what you will about penis envy, but it felt
unfair.  As anything, like I get my own room, big deal, right there with
moms, so she never leaves me alone, but they get brothers to play with, and
toys, and all I get is stupid dolls.  They don't do anything!  I mean I
have to do everything, think of everything, say everything, I have 4 whole
brothers now, and nobody to play with?
   And now I found out what they was hiding.  Something else I don't get,
but there underwear is still ugly, and I have no idea what the pocket is
for.  Great, another game I don't get to play.  "Ow!" Zach bent over, "That
was your finger!"
   "Still a hit," he wagged it like a tail, and pulled his underpants up.
Joseph, the oldest.  He always wins, but his sword was bigger too, of
course.  It wasn't a fair fight to begin with, he didn't have to cheat. 
But he bent his legs, I couldn't see, but he came up under, and his bottom
went tight.  "Uhn!" Maybe it was an accident.  Anyway, that's how they
played sometimes, when nobody was around, or they didn't know I was
watching.
   It made me wonder, about Darius, though.  He didn't stick out, maybe
he's not as big as joey, but it was just squishy, and I barely touched it
through his underpants.  It didn't stick them out like Joseph's when he
pulled them up, though.  They played something else the next night.
   Hide and Seek.  {gb Exhb NS}
   Mom made the boys watch me.  And told me to keep them out of trouble,
now how am I supposed to do that?  They already don't play with me, cause
I'm a tattletale.  They said Hide and Seek, but I know that trick.  They
don't look for me, unless I'm it, then they run to fast to catch them, so
I'm always it.  Or, they don't play with me.
   This time, I hid bye the door, in case they went to play with there
friends, instead.  Then, I followed them, sneaky so they don't hear me,
they laugh, but don't look back when they get to the woods.  They stop,
"Pee break," and get them out.
   Oh, that's what skirts are for.  Its not a pocket, its a fly, in there
underwear.  Huh!  But, they can't run, so I tag Abe.  "Your it!"
   "Grace!".  He fixes his pants quick, "What're you doing out?"
   "Well," not how I thought he might say it, "You're out of bounds, and
you're still it!"
   He slapped my arm, "Now your it!"
   "Nu uh!".  I laughed, "You didn't count.  Bet you can't win without
cheating?"
   "I don't cheat?"
   "Yeah you do,".  Thank you, Zach!  "She's right, you always cheat." The
other boys nodded.
   "Yeah, see!?" I laughed, "Cheater!".  He always wins, too.
   "I can so win!" He got mad, "Fair and square!"
   "Oh yeah?  Prove it!"
   So, he counted, and we all hid.  I took Zach with me, he's my littlest
brother.  "Thanks," he let go, and wiped his hand.  Mine felt sweaty too,
but I didn't wipe it.
   I giggled, "Let's ditch him!"
   He laughed, so I took his hand again, and took him off.  Way out, where
nobody would find me.
   "He's probly looking for me." Since I called him a cheater.
   "Me to," he can find the other boys, but let them go, or talk them into
helping so I'm it, and they can ditch me again.  Or, they can just ditch
us, which is fine, as long as he cheats, I win!  Should have bet him
something.  Like his favorite bat, he loves it, that would really hurt him.
Why, I bet he'd cry, but next time.  I can catch him in a bet, or a dare,
he can't say no, then he's scared.
   "Let's climb a tree."
   "Okay," now I'm out, I can't go out alone, but I got my brother.  I
never get to climb trees like them.
   "Uh!".  I jumped, "Hell never find us, uh!  And we can see them coming."
   "Here," he got down, and put his fingers together.  Shook them, "put
your foot up here, like a step so you can climb up." I did, "and get up on
my back."
   "Ah, right!?" I reached it, and put my feet up, but my skirt swung. 
When I looked down, he had his mouth open but he saw me, and looked away.
   "Uh," he looked away.  I got my leg up, like I saw them do.  "Hang on,"
I heard him on the other side, let me climb up.
   "Hurry," my arms got tired, and the bark dug in my leg.  "Uh!"
   "Here," he held down his hand.  I let go, but I missed, and my other
hand slipped.
   "EE!" I fell, up side down, but held on a moment with my legs.  "Zach,
ariah!".  I didn't know what else to say.  "EEhn"
   \8/
   >!<
   I covered my head, and ducked, but banged my arms pretty hard, and tore
my sleeve.  "Are you okay?"
   "Fine!" I punched him, and grabbed my arm, "It doesn't hurt!".  But I
cried anyway.
   "I guess that's why girls don't climb trees."
   "Nu uh!?  Mom says its so boys don't see my nickers!" He looked away,
again.  "Ha!  I knew it, you looked!  Oh, I'm sorry.  Its okay, I won't
tell mom if you don't." Of course not, he was in as much trouble as me, at
least!  He let me get hurt, too.  "I'm not a tattletale.  I promise, Joseph
just called me that so you don't play with me.  He is, he told on you, for
not letting him win."
   "When?"
   "Never mind, its okay if you see my underwear.  You like them?" The
yellow ones, with the zigzag stars, and baby blue ribbons.
   "Yeah, they look real pretty." He laughed.
   We got home first, so I went up on my side to wash the dirt out of the
blood.  He came up with me, the boys can come over here, for mom and day,
i'm just supposed to stay out of the boy's side.  I took off my tops,
"Zach," I pulled him back, "It's okay.  Look, I seen you with your shirt
off, all the boys, mom and dad too."
   "But mom said,"
   "Don't but mom me, just help me with this." I held up my arm, "I can't
see it." He dabbed at it, "Ooch!  It's okay, it hurts, but.  Just try to be
careful."
   "I'm sorry."
   "I told you it's okay.  Hh.  It's gonna hurt, If you fall, you're gonna
hit the ground, that's no reason not to climb up.  I didn't shatter, did
I?"
   "No," he guessed.  Then I heard mom and dad pull up in the truck, so I
grabbed the door.  "Stay in here," I closed it, "Flush the toilet in a
minute."
   I went in my room, and picked a long sleeve top.  Navy blue,
"Nnnnnyauh!" I scrubbed the rest of the dirt off, and threw it under the
bed with the dirty shirt.  She was on the stairs, but I pulled the shirt on
quick.
   "Where's your brothers?" I shrugged, didn't turn around.
   "They went out.  Nh!"
   "What's wrong?" she held my shoulders, behind me.  "I told them not to
leave you alone."
   The toilet flushed.  Right on time, maybe he heard her?  "Oh, Zach
stayed with me.  We're playing!" Not a single toy out of place.
   "Then why were you crying?"
   I held my arm, and twisted the cloth over the scrapes.  "Nh!" Blinked
out tears, and crinkled up my chin real good before she came around. 
Squatted in her long dress to hold my shoulders.  "Joseph," I sniffed, "He
pushed me down the stairs." Okay, it was months ago, but I never got him
back for it.
   And boy did he get it when they came home.  Mom made dad beat him too
when she was done.  I went back in my room when they sent him up to
apologize.  "Sit down."
   "I'm sorry?"
   "You heard me, sit down and listen." I got out my notes, "First of all,
you're not sorry.  You're sorry you got whoopped, but your not sorry you
hurt me."
   "I didn't, you lied!"
   "What about the other week, when I bumped into you and you called me
pipsqueek?  You pushed me down on the stairs."
   "But, that's not like I pushed you Down the stairs." [x] Mark off that
excuse, "No, but that wasn't the first time!  You push me around all the
time, remember last month when you caught me playing with your baseball,
and you pushed me down the stairs?"
   "No?"
   "Well, I do, and it hurt a lot.  So, new rule, if you hurt me, I tell
mom, and she hurts you worse.  If I want, I can hurt me," I slapped myself
as hard as I could, "Nh!  Joseph hit me!  If you lie, and I lie, you lose.
Got it?"
   "Okay?" He finally looked scared.  Just don't go downstairs, right now,
and make her beat him, again.
   "Now, you're going to play with me too."
   "You can't tell me what to do!"
   "YES I Can." I stood up, "Because I'm the youngest, and the smallest, if
you don't like it, I can talk to mom." He shrank back, "And stop yelling,"
I grabbed his hand, "Come on, let's go out and play.  Tell mom we're going
out to play."
   "We made up," I nodded to her, "I forgive him."
   "Are you sure?" she looked doubtful.
   "Uh!" yeah, if I'm ever going to get to go out and play, "I'm almost 8
years old!  I never get to go out and play, and I'm sick of staying home
with dolls.  I played every game there is to play with dolls, and," I wish
I had my notes, "He can protect me.  Nobody is gonna hurt me, with him
there," and he knows now, better than to hurt me, "He's 15."
   "14,"
   "Almost 15, and I decided I need him as a friend.  Well, he said, 'you
don't want to fight me,' but that means the same thing." She glared, "But
he's right, I need a friend, a real one to play with, and I pick him." I
held his hand, "He's the biggest, and the strongest." And, it's not like
he's really my brother.  I'm adopted, ever since I ran away from the
Creche. He stood up, so tall, and proud.  Because that's what it's all
about, with him.  Being the biggest and the strongest, allways winning.
   "All right, but stay safe, and bring her back before dark."
   "I will, mom."
   "New rule," once we were outside, "I cheat.  You don't have to, because
you're the biggest, and the strongest, the fastest, and the smartest."
Yeah, right!  "But I have to cheat to win."
   "What're you talking about?"
   "Or, we can both win.  If we play a game we can both win."
   "Like what?" [x]
   "Boyfriend, and girlfriend?" He dropped my hand, "You know, like mom and
dad play, when you go to bed?  Cum on, it's not like you got a girlfriend,
to Cheat on." he tried to walk off, but I followed him.
   He knows he can't leave me alone, "Huh!"
   "It's not like we can play boy games, so I have to cheat to win."
   "Because your a girl,"
   "Yeah, so I played this, what do you think I play with the other girls?"
   "Idunno," he shrugged, "Girl games, like house, tea time, dressup?"
   "Ooh!" I clapped, "You ever seen a girl in her underpants?"
   "Well," he looked around, "No."
   "Come on, you know someplace private?" If anybody drove by, you could
see us from the road.  And I bet mom was watching from the window to make
sure.  "Well, show me?  I don't know how to get there!"
   Down by the stream, there was a pipe under the road, and some trees
around.  "See?" I pulled up my skirt, "No wait," I turned around, and bent
over so it flopped down my back.  "Look," I pulled the ribbons tight, and
looked up between my legs.  I slipped my fingers in, to pinch the top, and
pull them tight.  "Nh, hm!" I even humped a little.  Felt the jolt, but I
stopped before I fell over on my face.  "You should feel them, they're
really silky!" My favorite pair, I finally found some thin black ribbon to
tighten them up.  The thick ones don't feel right, and the wide ones don't
fit between my legs without rubbing the sides when I walk around.  "Ngh! 
Or, you can spank me, if you want." i wiggled my butt.  "Go on, giver a
little swat."
   "I don't hit girls," i laughed, "Why, because mom says?" I stood up,
"You never do nothing mom says," I took his hand, "Go on, feel them."
Rubbed my skirt over them.  "Neah, huh!" Trying to hump his leg, "Mom
spanks dad.  And we spank eachother, the girls when I get to play with
them. Go on, it's fun.  Ah, hahahahaha!  Yeah, you can hit harden't that,
right?  Yeah, big strong man like you.
   "Really?  mom spanks dad for real?" I nodded, lying.  I heard, one of
the girls at church, giggling and talking about her mom and dad.  Not sure
if it was true, either.  "It's a game, and nobody wins, or we both win. 
Nh!" he likes it "Yeah, now rub it in, real good.  Ow!" Too hard, I hit
him. "Stop!" he grabbed my hair.
   "Yeah," Ow, "You deserve it."
   "I said Stop!" I tore my hair out, "NoawH!  That's to hard, and it's not
a game if we both don't have fun!" I pushed him, "Bully!" Again, back.  "I
said top, and if you don't stop, I." punched him, right between the legs,
"Hurt you." He sat down.
   "Uh!" Held his balls.
   "Then I tell mom about your little swordfights with Abe." bd Bumped my
fingers together like balls, "Kching!  You think I don't see you, playing
with your pissers at night?  Are you a fag, Joey?" he hates that.  "Is that
why you can't get it hard for me, you got a hardon for your brother?"
   "No?' he looked away.
   "Well, now you're gonna get it out.  Go on, let me see you get it hard
for a girl for once."
   Morion {FmBb Pira Play NS}
   "Ng," I fount a good stick, and tied a hitch in the middle.  The boys
fixed there britches, and turnt around.  "Now, were gonna play Pirates,
Hruh!" I throwed it like a harpoon threw the crotch of a tree, and knocked
my hat off.  I fixed it.
   "We always pay pirates."
   "Yeah?" I put it on, "Well, this' a pirate hat." I had to pull the stick
up so it toggled in the branches.  "Now, who wants to be on my crew?" I
already had the stopper knot in the bottom, so I wrapped it overhand. 
About right, and added a twist to make it a figure 8.  Like the stopper
knot for quilting, or embroidering.
   "Aye!"
   "Well," I run back, "You gotta fight me," I kicked up, swung around, and
got my legs out.  The little brothers scattered quick, but Josephus the
Cuban stood up, and braced for it.  "Uh!" i kicked, and pushed, but he
grabbed me.  Took a couple steps back, but held fast.
   "Nuh!" My legs fell on his, so I grabbed him, and twisted, throwing the
bottom knot around his neck.  Slipping down, but he braced for impact, not
holding me up, but I knocked my Kap off when my shoulders came down, and i
jerked his head down after.  "Guhn!" Twisted to put my elbow in his jaw,
and turn his head, but he picked me up, and through me away.
   I rolled, and banged my elbow pretty bad, 'rhrrRRAAGH!" The little ones
grabbed me, 'cause Joseph was still getting up.
  
Hubby