Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience.
 
 I need a break.  Not from writing so much as what I've been writing.  So,
here's a romantic boy/boy relationship, but I warn you.  It's, long, slow,
and there's not a whole lot of sex.  This one's mostly for me.
   Ollie {bb NS Love Gays Boys Hand Kiss.}
   "Huh?" I looked down from the TV.  Just cartoons, I was watching it
until I felt his hand on mine.  Just in my lap, it didn't look like he was
really watching it.  "What're you," he looked down, "Thinking about?" His
thumb stopped rubbing the soft spot between mine, and the side of my hand.
   "Oh," he moved his hand away, "I don't know, nothing." I think he was
lying, but I just watched the rest of the cartoon.  Don't remember what
one, but we like the Avengers.  He daydreams a lot, but my favorite is
Captain America, while he likes Thor.  It's funny, cause when it's over,
and we go out to play, it's usually the other way around, but he does a
better Captain America, or he throws the shield I made him better, and I
just have to point the hammer at the sky.
   There pretty much the same, or a lot alike.  They both throw things, but
I think Captain America is a nicer guy, and his real name is Steve too. 
Just like my friend Steve, I think they look a lot alike too.  He doesn't
like girls, they're "Stupid," and he hates when his parents make him play
with his sister.  She doesn't have another one to play with, but she just
wants to play dolls.
   I didn't touch his hand again, for a while after that, but I kept
remembering it.  How he rubbed the side with his thumb, and sometimes I
fell asleep, holding my hands together.  His knuckles brushed my arm
sometimes, and I got so excited, I could hear my heartbeat, but we're just
standing next to eachother.
   "Steve?" He looked over, "Are you gay?" I heard about it, always.  I
knew it was bad, but I had to ask a teacher.  "What's a faggot mean?" He
said it was a bad word, and I knew that, but he told me they're sinful men,
that committed debaucheries with eachother.  "Sin," he told me.  That's
what it ment.
   He turned away, "Yeah," but he said "I have a boyfriend," that broke my
heart.  I wanted to be his boyfriend, I started crying, because I knew I
was gay too, but if I could have him, it would be all right.
   "Me too." It got awkward, so we went out to play.  Then later, not that
afternoon, I don't think it was a month, but a little later.  They were
older kids, bigger, and they started bullying us.  I didn't think about it,
hiding behind him because he's taller, but I grabbed his hand, and held it.
Huh!  One of the boys saw it, and called us "Little fairies," and then they
beat us up.  I couldn't stop crying until he held me in his lap, and that
was the best feeling.  His arms around me, so I pretended to cry some more,
so he wouldn't let go.
   We didn't have any other friends.  Even our brothers and sisters, I knew
we're different, felt as different as a girl from the other boys, but I
didn't know how.  "Thanks, Steve," I ment I love you, that's what I wanted
to tell him, but I was scared.  It would make him mad, like any boy.  I
knew he was different too, why we're friends, but I was scared he wasn't
the same way.  He didn't like me that way.  I was afraid he wouldn't love
me back, and he wouldn't want to be friends with me any more, because I was
gay, and falling in love with him.
   So, we got up, and played, then we went home and I daydreamed about him
holding my hands, hugging me until I didn't feel like crying any more, and
stop shaking.  But I didn't, I cried myself to sleep, and had nightmares
about the other boys.  Taking him away, calling me baby for crying, and fag
for how I feel about him.  But he's my whole world, when he's gone I can't
stop thinking about him.  Not playing with him, just being there, close
enough to feel how warm his body is, hearing him breathe, holding his hand,
and his thumb, petting the back of it.  "Hn!"
   Then I woke up.  I had to pee, but it was too hard, and just touching
it. Well, I stopped imagining him touching my hand.  I sat on the toilet,
rubbing my leg until I could pee, but I didn't think about my hand.  I
imagined him, just touching it, pretending to watch TV, but his thumb
moving, rubbing it, and it finally tinkled out.  I couldn't wait to see
him, kept thinking about all the ways I can tell him, but then he pulled up
his bike, and "Hn!" It wouldn't come out.  I just stood there, biting my
lip, and holding my hands in front of me.  My thumbs absently rubbing
eachother, like they had minds of his own.
   I didn't say anything, so I grabbed my bike, and followed him.  We
started playfighting, just sticks, but I found a good one that curved back
like a saber, and springy, so it bent instead of hurting him.  We mostly
just whacked them together, until the bark came off, and said swordfighting
stuff.  "Huha!" We didn't want to hurt eachother for real, neither really
the badguy.  We believed in goodguys, wanted to be them, but the good guys
don't fight eachother, that's bad.  So, sometimes one of us was the badguy,
or there wasn't any goodguy/badguy, just playing around.  There wasn't
always a story.
   Steve {bb...}
   I didn't want to, because he was my friend, Oliver.  The other boys, I
don't guess I cared about them, they're like girls, or bad guys.  They
didn't stop, being mean, ganging up on us after school, and calling us
names until he cried.  He's a sensitive boy, nothing wrong with crying, but
I knew when I held him like that I couldn't.
   I wanted to tell him, I'm a badguy.  Yeah, I didn't know, but I should
of.  He was to old, and I didn't really like the way he wanted to play with
me, but I did what he told me, I found other boys for him to play with, and
I guess I hoped it would make him stop.  I knew, I could tell, and they
would make him stop, but I was scared of that too.  Telling people what he
did to me, and what I did.  All those other boys, but I knew when he looked
at him, waiting for me to get dropped off.
   "Who's he?"
   "Noone," he saw us together.
   "He's cute." I was so mad, but I just told him to drive around the
corner, and let me out.
   I didn't care about those other boys, but I broke up with him, because I
didn't want him looking at Oliver likeat.  Even thinking about him, because
I knew what he was thinking about, and I cared about Oliver.  So, I told
him, I'm done, and unless he wants to give up the other boys, and start
playing with the big niggers in prison.  I'm not racist, but he's afraid of
black guys, and I had to think of something.
   "But if you ever even think of him, I'll tell, and that'll be all over."
Then I got out, he never even called me again, I hope he forgot me, but I
was crying before I made it around the corner.  I felt so bad, especially
about lying to him, not telling him how bad I was.  I knew he loved me, I
always knew he always loved me, thought it was like my brother, we never
even held hands, but the way he looks in my eyes, his smile, and he sighs.
I knew, but the shame was just too much, and I cared too much to lie to
him, but I couldn't tell him, it was just too shameful.
   I couldn't tell anybody, for years, but with him, I wasn't scared that
he'd be disgusted.  I was scared he'd find out, I'm not Captain America,
I'm not a hero, and that would break his heart.  I was scared he would cry,
and this time I wouldn't be able to hold him, wipe away his tears and make
him feel better.  Because it would be my fault, I would make him cry, and
he would never stop.  Most of all, I was afraid of losing him.
   Ollie (bb...)
   My heart soared when he said his boyfriend broke up with him.  He was
crying, so I hugged him, and comforted him, but really when I was saying
"I'm so sorry, that's too bad," I was happy.  I could hold him, and wipe
away his tears, he sniffed, but that's when I kissed him.  A little boy
kiss, just held my lips on his, but he closed his eyes, and sighed.  Me
too, it was so wonderful, the most wonderful kiss ever.  I think people get
all fancy, with their tongues, and turning back and forth when the passion
goes away.
   I just felt his lips on mine, and felt his breath come out of his nose.
We sat there forever, felt like, just holding still, but I rubbed his wet
cheeks with my thumbs, and he held my arms.  Yeah, we're kissing, but
that's what I felt, was always aware of, his arms around me, holding me,
until he had to let go.  I felt a little heartbreak, every time.
   He had to go home, and it was getting late, but I started crying on the
way back, because he was gone, not holding and kissing me any more, and he
wouldn't all night.  I'd see him tomorrow, but that felt like even more
forever than him just holding me, and breathing on eachother's faces.
   "Huh!" Forever never lasts long enough.
   The next time we kissed was different.  There was no crying, we just
played, and wrestled until we got tired, and sat down.  Together, he hugged
my shoulders, and I just lay my head against him until I caught my breath.
"Huh!" I know he's not Captain America, he looks more like before, he went
in the Vita-ray thing, and got all.  "Huh!" When the doors open, and all
the steam lets out, and he looks all shiny and new?  No, back then he was
skinny, and really really pale, but I looked down, saw his hand on his lap,
and reach over, to touch it.
   He almost knocked me off the log, but said, "Sorry," and rubbed my hand,
"Just surprised me a little.  I nodded, and closed my eyes, then I felt his
lips again.  And for a moment, it felt like that endless kiss we had the
first time, but it started going away, so I rubbed his hand in his lap, and
we tried some of the other stuff.  You know, like opening our mouths, and
touching tongues, the kind of stuff that's supposed to make it better, but
it really didn't.  I wondered what was different, why the first time just
his lips and arms were enough for hours, but this time, well we caught our
breaths, and rode our bikes down to the creek.
   It was hot, and you can't really swim in it, but we wore our trunks
because it was summer, and it was hot.  So, we didn't get naked, but he
took off his shirt, and he didn't look like Captain America, but I loved to
see his chest, and his back, and his flat tummy, and the shallow little
hole he had his belly button in.  I wanted to touch him, kiss him, and feel
his naked body against mine, but he kicked the water, and laughed, so I
took my shirt and shoes off too.  It cooled us off a lot, and it was just
like we played together last summer, before we started falling in love.
   Then he got real serious, sat down to wait for our trunks to dry, and he
told me.  "I didn't have a boyfriend." He sighed, "I used to know this man,
or I met him, and he gave he a ride, but." He started to cry, "He didn't
take me home." I tried to hug him, but he pushed me off.  "He touched me,
and he made me do, things.  I didn't want to do, but I Nhmhm!  Huh!" He
sniffed, and wiped his face, "I broke up with him, the first time he looked
at you."
   "Why?" I didn't understand it, and I was crying too, because it was
heartbreaking.  But then,
   "Huh!" He rubbed his dry arms.  "Because," he looked away, and kind of
mumbled.  "I.  Love you," he looked back.
   "Oh!" I jumped on him, "I love you so much!" and kissed him all over his
face until he laughed, and pushed me off.  So, we tickled eachother for a
while, but he got me down, and laughing so hard it didn't make a sound. 
Just panting, but he stopped, and kissed me.  "Hm!" I bit my lip.  Yeah,
that felt more like the first time.  And he held me, half naked, probably
shriveled up to wrincles in our wet trunks, but I felt all over his body.
His pale skin, and freckles, his ribs, and where he's got more skin, or
that's what I thought in front.  Not really muscle yet, but thick enough to
cover his ribs some.
   He kissed me, but just held my lips under his, and breathed on my cheek,
and rubbed up and down my tummy.  Like his thumb, but with his whole hand,
up, and down, back and forth when I breathed in, and blew out on his
cheeks. I don't know how long, but our trunks were mostly dry, except under
my butt, and on his side, where he was sitting on it.  But, we could put
our shirts back on, and ride our bikes home.
   I missed him, but it didn't hurt as much.  He told me, he loves me, and
he knows I love him too.  I just fell asleep, satisfied, rubbing my tummy
with my hands, feeling it go up, and down when I breathe.  Remembering his
lips, and the smell of his face in every breath.  And how he felt, the long
tight skin, his ribs, the broad flat bones in his back, and his arms around
me.  I never slept so good in my life, and I know I kept dreaming about
him, all night.  Steve, it's just Steve, but it's my favorite name now.  I
love the way it sounds, I whisper it to myself, and most of all I love how
just hearing it makes his smile come into my eyes, his smell almost in my
nose, and how warm I feel in his arms.
   "Hm, Steve."
   Steve {Bb Sibs NS}
   "Stevie!" He shook me, and I blinked.  Took a breath, but my throat felt
sore, and was I crying?  "It's just a nitemare." my big brother went back
to bed.
   I don't remember it, but I had an idea.  "Nh!" I curled up, and hugged
my pillow, I wished Ollie was there, but I got up, and went over to his
bed. I don't care, it's not him, but he loves me, he's my brother.  I just
wanted him to hold me, again.
   "It's okay," he rubbed down my hair, "Go back to sleep." I tried, but.
"Huh!" He breathed on my hair,
   and "Nh!" I remember His hand on my leg, "Mh?" His breath, the smoke,
and alcohol, how that made my head feel, and getting sleepy.
   So sleepy, "Yeah," he rubbed my hip, "Just take a little nap."
   "Damn it Stevie!" I wet the bed.
   "I'm sorry!" It was morning anyway, but he went in the bathroom, so I
made it for him.  I'm really sorry, I didn't do that for, weeks at least, I
thought it was over, but I cried the whole time.
   He came out in a towel.  "Oh," he hugged me, "I'm sorry I yelled.  The
bed looks great," he kissed my head.  "Thanks."
   It wasn't the same, he wasn't Ollie, but I sniffed and stopped crying.
"I'm sorry too."
   "It's okay," he let me go, "I know you didn't mean to." He looked down,
"Are you all right?"
   "Yeah," I took off my wet pajamas, and the underwear stuck to me, "You
leave any hot water?"
   He handed me the towel, and sat on his bed with some underwear.  "Huh?"
He looked up, halfway up his leg.  "Yeah, there should be plenty." I saw
it, he's older, and he doesn't have the skin on the end either.  His voice
is cracking, but he still doesn't have any hairs yet.  I hear you're
supposed to get hairy when you grow up, but all I could think about is the
skin on the end, and wonder if Ollie has it or not?  I saw it, of course.
He showed me, in some magazines, but that's when it's supposed to start
growing.
   Ollie's gonna start growing too, you know.  I hope he grows a lot of
hairs.  And not shave it, well maybe not a beard, wonder what he'll look
like with a mustache?  I giggle.  And what's it feel like, being hairy? 
I'm not hairy at all, but I hope I am, when I grow up.  I wanna be hairy,
but between both of us, I'm sure one of will grow some.  I want a lot.  I
don't even know what he sees in me, I'm so pale, and skinny, and I even
look kinda like a girl.  Ew, I don't want to be a pretty boy, like a girl,
or one of the faggy gays on TV.  I wanna be a man, and I hate how they talk
like girls.  But I'm still a kid, and it'll take forever to turn into a
man.
   At least I don't have to go it alone.
   Ollie {BB...}
   "Steve," he took my hand and held it in both of his.
   "Yeah?"
   "You don't like me touching your leg?" I like touching his legs.
   "Huh!" He sat back, "I like it here," he kissed me quick, "With you,
just the two of us.  But," he squeezed my hand, "Huh!  When you touch me
likeat, uh," He started crying again.  He won't tell me his name, he never
says it, that I heard, and he would tell me if he could, I'm sure.
   But, "It's because he touched your leg." His eyes were closed.
   He shook his head, "It just reminds me.  Of what he did, after he
touched my leg."
   "It's okay," I don't want to scare him, but I hugged him till he stopped
crying.  Even though I just wanted him to hold my hand again, and maybe
kiss me some more.
   He rubbed my leg, and I'm ticklish there.  So ticklish, it's like the
worst spot, and I thought.  Well, that had to be what it's all about,
right? No, it didn't tickle at all, I shivered a little.
   "Yeah," He pulled my hand off his shoulder, "It's okay," and put it back
on his leg.  I just held it there, like his lips, the best way to kiss. 
But he rubbed the leg of my shorts, with his thumb, the way I always wanted
him to.  "And I, kind of looked at another boy."
   "Steve!"
   "I know, but it wasn't likeat.  My brother, he's older then me."
   "I know," I nodded.  I met him at there house.
   "Well, he was naked, out of the shower, but I saw it.  When he put on
his underwear, and.  Huh!" His chest fell.  "I was just thinking about,
what you might look like, when you're older."
   "I brought some pencils." In case we wanted to write or draw something.
"I thought about it too," him coming out of the Vita-ray pod, all shiny and
new, and.  "Huh!" Wiped my mouth.  "What's it look like?"
   "Are you circumcized?"
   "What's that?" I shook myhead.
   "Well, some boys have, a little skin on the end of their willies." Oh,
"And some boys get theirs cut off, when there babies.  That's called
circumcised."
   Well, "Yeah," I kind of had to pee anyway.  "Uh," I got up, and unzipped
my shorts.  Usually, we turn away, and don't look.  That's what you're
supposed to do, or what they taught us.  But then, they also taught us that
loving each other is evil, and I was starting to wonder what all else they
got wrong.
   "See?" I had to pinch it out, and roll it back.  Like dad showed me, to
clean it, or pee without it getting dirty.  "Hn." I turned, so it didn't
splash up on his legs, and he got got up.  He laughed, but covered his
mouth, when I ran out of pee, and let go so the skin slip it back in.
   "That's neat!" I zipped up my pants, and fixed my underwear.  "You look
a lot like your dad," he sat down, "Is he hairy, at all?"
   So, I sat on his legs, so he'd hold my shoulders.  "A little," I shrug,
"I seen him naked too." I lived with him all my life.  "Well a lot in his
underwear, but not really on his chest.  And he's got like 3 little ones,"
I rubbed his arm, "Right here, under his shoulder." He shaves too, but I
never seen him with a beard.  "Oh, and he had a mustache, in college.  I
can show you the picture later."
   He rubbed my lip, and I bit it a little.  "You'll look good with a
mustache," he nodded.  "I bet." He moved his fingers, but then we hugged
and kissed for a long time, and I tried to imagine him.  Hairy, but he's
got blond hairs, even on his arms, they're so tiny you can barely see them
unless he's got a tan.  But I felt them, saw them shining in the sun over
the freckles, and rubbed them backwards so they'd stand up.  Yeah, I hope
he's hairy too, but I couldn't say it with his lips over mine.  I'll tell
him later, "Hn!"
   Steve {bb...}
   "Yeah?" We just finished cooling off in the creek.
   "You know what," he covered his mouth, "Buttfucker means?" I closed my
eyes, didn't cry, but I wanted to.  I could just nod, and try to swallow.
"I mean I think I get cocksucker, because a cock is like your willie, and I
know what a butt is."
   "Snh!" I wiped my eye, "Yeah." I know what that means, "Uh, fuckin is
when you, put your willy, in." Nh?  Oh man, I really didn't want to cry,
"Nhihih!"
   "Oh," he hugged me.  I was sitting back in his legs, which is why he
probably didn't see all the pain in my face, "I'm sorry?"
   "It hurts," I took a long breath, but it shuddered inside me, "Huh!  He
saidnh.  Snh!  He told me, it wouldn't, not like the first time, and I know
it's supposed to feel good." the men in the movies liked it, "He said "real
good," but I thought.  I didn't know what was wrong with me, why I didn't
like it," and I had to cry a little while more.
   "We need to stop him." He shook his fists, "He's still hurting all those
other boys and it's wrong." He looked at me, "You think we can stop him,
hurting those other boys?"
   "I," shook my head, "I'm not," a hero.  I know, he really liked Captain
America because he's another Steve, and he was falling in love with me, and
I really got into Thor because he's a god, so he had to be more powerful,
but really we stopped playing the Avengers after we said "I love you," and
why can't I stop crying?  "I would have to tell, and I can't." Because I'm
not a hero, I'm not even a badguy, I'm just a coward, and it breaks my
heart even thinking of telling him that.  "Uh!" And i got the hiccups from
crying.
   "It's okay," he hugged me tight, "You don't have to do it, I just
wondered what it means, but now it just sounds gross."
   "Yeah," I nodded into his shirt.  "It's real gross too." I just forgot,
because I was remembering how much it hurt.  "Hk!"
   "Did he threaten you?"
   "I knew it!" We got up, but he laughed.  "I told them your fucking
fairies." All the other kids, the rumor was all over town.
   "Yeah," but there's a bit of a problem.  I pushed him, and Ollie picked
up a stick.  "So?"
   He pushed me down, and he's so much bigger and older, and stronger then
us.  That's the problem, he came out here alone, and he turned his back on
Ollie.  Which is why he didn't see it coming when he swung the stick behind
him, brought it around like a batter, and chopped his legs right behind the
knees.
   "Ah!" He fell on them, and his hands.
   "Don't TOUCH" he broke it over his back, "My boyfriend!" So, he picked
up a rock, and I had to stop him before he threw it down, straight through
the back of his head like I was imagining.
   "Uh!" I still kicked him as hard as I could before I pulled him off.  We
got on our bikes, but he was still crying by the time we got all our stuff,
and rode off.
   Huh, my hiccups went away.  I think when he pushed me down, and I can
just put it all into the pedals so I'm not crying any more, but I was so
mad, I bet we made record time, and it made me think of something.  Yeah,
he's right, we need to stop him, and seeing Donnie like that just made it
undeniable.  I guess if someone wanted to make a cartoon about our origins,
he might be in mine.  I know why he's acting out, and so angry at gays.  I
know what he's been through, I used to hate him.
   But that just made Donny worse.  And maybe it'll make up for what I
done, to all those boys.  I didn't, buttfuck them, but I was just as
responsible, and someone has to save them.  Even if they're just as bad as
Donnie, now I can see that's how bad boys become bad men.  Hard to imagine,
but I bet Mr.  Wallace was a little boy once too.  Someone hurt him, left
him crying, and scared, and nobody was there to make him feel better.  Now
he was like the Master Mold in the X-men cartoon.
   We had to stop him, before he made more.
   Ollie {b...bM NS}
   The problem is we don't have a police.  We got a sherriff's deputy, so
we called him, but he didn't believe me.  Steve just sat there and
listened, on account of he can't talk about it.  Sometimes he nodded,
because that's what he did, but I tried to make my voice sound bigger.
   "I have to report a man, in town, he's," Uh, I had to look it up in the
law, "Contributing to delinquency with kids."
   "How so?"
   "Well," I remember what Steve said, so he doesn't have to say it again,
"He lets them smoke," I knew that was against the law, "And drink, and he
likes to," I looked at Steve, but he closed his eyes, and nodded, "Touch
them."
   "Who is this, Donnie?"
   "No, I," tried to think, "I'm just a concerned citizen, but I have this
friend, and he said he put his willy in his butt." I held him, wiped his
eyes with my thumbs, but he cried quietly.
   "Hh, well I get a lot of calls likeis, and let me tell you that making a
false report is a crime.  You boys might think it's just a prank, but you
haveta understand that such accusations can ruin a man's life."
   Yeah, well the way he hurts them ruins boys' lives, but Steve needed me
right now, so I just hung up, and held him until he stopped crying.  Then
we hugged and kissed until his daddy came home, so I went home.  I didn't
touch his legs, since he was already crying, so he just held my hands in
his lap, and kissed me.
   He called me "My hero," for stopping Donny, and trying to give him the
courage to stop Mr.  Wallace, but he cried the hardest when he told me he
was just a Coward, and felt like a badguy for taking other boys to see him.
A Henchman, and a Minion, for a Villian.  But then he started having
nitemares about him making boys into bad men, like Sentinals, to go find
all the little boys, and make them into bad men.  Molestors, that's what
turned him gay.
   But he didn't.  I never got in his car, or went to his house.  So,
plan-B.  We had to warn all the boys, that he's a sexual predator, and tell
all the boys that there not gay, it's not there fault, he took advantage of
them, and made them think it's their fault.  Just like Steve, and Donny I
guess.
   I guess that's how I got into Batman.  We didn't like the cartoon as
much, because it's dark, and scary, but you know he's a Detective?  That's
what DC stands for, Detective Comics.  Yeah, he's a ninja too.  He just
wears a cape, and a bat-mask to scare criminals, but his real super-power
is his brain, and how he uses it to outsmart criminals like the Joker, and
the Riddler, and Two-Face.  "Huh!" You know, I really like the Villians on
Batman better then the hero?
   "Huh?" So, I gave Steve some homework, to write down all the boys he
knew, played with mister Wallace.  Maybe we could make a petition, and if
all the boys sign it, the deputy will have to believe us.  So, I guessed
that was my assignment, Mom has books on how to write, things like this. 
On account of being a lawyer.  Maybe she'll defend him in court, since
there's not a lot of lawyers around here, but she knows the County
Prosecuter, so maybe she can talk to him, for us.  When we make a case for
it, she told me "You can't go to court without first making a case."
   We used to play Court, or mom played it with us to teach us how it
works. The case of the Stolen Cookies, it's like Church, but you have to
learn a different rite.  But mom can handle that, once we make a case.  She
made cookies for us too, as Evidence, but we got to eat them when the trial
was over.  Spoiler Alert, the cat did it.
   Donnie {Bb NS}
   "Is Donnie home?"
   I went to the door.  "Yeah, right here." I munched on my waffle.  "What
d'you want?" but mom just went back to breakfast.
   "We need to talk," he pulled my arm, upstairs, but went in the wrong
room.  So, I pulled him back to my room, and shut the door.  I knew their
dirty little secret, he was a fairy, him and his little boyfriend Stevie.
And I owed him for hitting me from behind, when I busted them together.  It
was so gross, how they held hands, and kissed by the brook, with their
shirts off, and he sat in his lap.
   "You know mister Wallace?"
   "Yeah," he's cool, "Everone knows mister Wallace." It's a small town,
and he lets us smoke, and bought me cigarettes, and gave me beer when he
turned on the movies.
   "Not me, but Steve, he told me about how you took him over to play with
mister Wallace."
   "Yeah?" I wanted to hit him.
   "Yeah, and it's okay."
   "Don't touch me," I slapped his hands away, "Faggot!"
   "Huh!" He put his hands down.  "What he, did to you.  All you boys.  I
want you to know, it wasn't your fault.  He took advantage of you, and it
doesn't make you gay."
   "Get out," I pushed him out of my room, "Get outta my house, you fucking
fairy!" Almost pushed him down the stairs.
   "DONALD!" Oh shit, dad.  "I don't wanna hear that kinda language in my
house, Get Down Here, young man!"
   "See what you did?" I shoved him out the door.  But he already had his
belt out.  "No," I backed to the corner, "Please, I'm sorry daddy!"
Covering my butt, but he pulled me out.
   "Not sorry enough," he jerked my arm, "Move your hands." I knew, that
was just more swats.
   I ran upstairs, crying as soon as I got my pants up.  I'm to old to cry,
like a baby, but all I can remember is waking up, at Mr.  Wallaces' house,
and how much it hurt.  I sniffed, and dried my eyes on the pillow.  "It
didn't hurt," likeat.  I'm tougher than that, it was just a spanking, but.
"Nhmhmhmhm!"
   But it made me feel, so weak, and cry.  Like a little faggot, "You like
that?"
   "NO!" I screamed.
   "Yeah," he felt between my legs, "Youlike it, you little faggot."
   I didn't even find his petition for months, because he left it on my
desk.  But school started, and there it was.  By then, all the kids knew,
he told them, to stay away from him, his house, don't get in his car, or
drink anything he gives you.  He's right, he's a bad man, so I signed it.
   Ollie {Mb NS}
   I was so scared, my hand shook, just holding it to knock.  I had to do
this, I want to run, but, someone has to do this, and everyone else is
scared, or don't believe me.  Can't make a case with just witnesses,
though. Victims, that's why they won't stand up to him, because he made
them scared, like Scarecrow.  Yeah, he's like Scarecrow, a terrorist, and
he uses drugs.
   "Hey!" he smiles down, "Oliver, right?"
   Now, I really want to run, but that's like Batman's greatest trick.  He
gets captured, but it's all part of the plan, so he can talk to the
villian, and destroy his evil plan from the inside.  But I'm not Batman, I
just need evidence.
   Proof, to make the case.  "Hey," I force myself to look up, "Mr. 
Wallace.  Uh, I got this friend," boyfriend really, "And he told me, about
the movie you showed him?"
   "Cummon in," he locked the door, and the built turning sounded like a
jail slamming shut.  "KH!" I was trapped, in here, with him.  "You
thirsty?"
   "I got a soda," I showed him.  Don't let him take it, or put anything in
it, don't drink anything he gives you.
   "I like coke too," He got out his big boddle, and a little flat one, it
said Jim Beam on it, so I know it was whiskey.  My dad told me, to stay
away from booze, it's of the devil, but he just poured it in his cup of
coke.  "Want some?"
   "Not really," I looked at the clock, "It's only 10:30, and I really just
drink to go to sleep at night."
   "You smoke?" I shook my head.
   "I'm gonna be a athlete, and it's bad for your lungs."
   He told me everything, it' like a script, what he says to all the boys
the first time.  Out of order, but he said all of it, eventually.  I could
pull it out, and check them off when he said them, but I just did it in my
head, and said the replies I thought up.
   "Well, you're a big boy now." I nodded, [x] He told me he says that a
lot, like every time.  "Why don't you cum over, and watch with me?"
   I didn't even look at the TV.  On the couch, he patted it next to me. 
"It's all right, don't be shy."
   "Huh," I looked away.  "Uh," saw the TV.  "You got any with boys?"
   This was a man, and a girl.  A teenager, she had little boobs, but no
hair on her.  I guess it takes longer to grow hair.
   "You don't like him?"
   I shrug, "He's all right," real hairy!  "Uh, but she's.  Huh!  I don't
like seeing girls, naked."
   "Why not?"
   "They don't look right." shook my head, "They look weird, and it don't
feel right."
   "You like boys?" He scooted over, so he could reach out, for my lap.  I
had my knees together.
   "Yeah," I turned them away.  "But you're a man.  Uh," Look back at the
TV.  "You got any movies with boys?"
   "Little boys?" He got up, "Naked?" He looked real red.  "No, but I got
pictures."
   I know, he told me.  I followed him back to his room.  He doesn't have
kids, of his own.  He's married, but his wife works at the school.  When
the school is open, she's always busy during the day though, and in the
afternoon, when there's school.  Steve didn't know, where he kept them.  He
always had them out, or got them out when he wasn't looking, but he saw
them.
   Under his bed, not like the mattress, where normal men keep their dirty
mags, but the carpet pulled back, and I saw floor boards, but I went back,
and pretended to watch the movie.  I don't think the girl really like it,
but the boys started kissing.  She was between them, so they had to lean
over, to kiss, and feel eachothers arms.  They had there mouths open, so I
can see there tongues, and that wasn't too bad.
   A lockbox, green one, like the tin we buried for a time capsule, only
with a lock.  And square pictures, with white on the bottom, names, and
even dates on the back, just like he told me.  And the little folding
camera.
   I giggled, KZZZZ!  "You like them?" He shook the picture, and showed me.
Looking up, with the green box open on my lap, holding all the pictures,
and his willy.  I looked up, he had it out.  "You like it?" He pulled it
back, so the skin opened up, like an eyelid, and I gigged again.
   "I got one too!" That's where he seen one afore, he didn't tell me.
   "Can I see it?" I looked down at the box, and the pictures in my lap.
   "Hh!" I looked at the clock, "Maybe next time," I closed it up, "Sorry,
but my dad expects me for lunch, and he'll be real mad if I'm late." Or I
don't show up, because I'm knocked out, on the couch, with my pants down,
and him on top of me.  Pulling my butt open...  "Huh!" I got up, and stuck
it up in my pants so it didn't stick out.  He touched me, just the front of
my pants, and rubbed on my butt.  His hand was so big, he could rub both
sides, and his thumb...
   "Hh!" But I got to the door, "I really have to go," and see Steve. 
Before I do something, he would never forgive me for.  He didn't tell me, I
guess he couldn't, but I didn't think I'd want to.  He told them they would
like it, it would feel good, "Real good." And my butt felt so hot, in my
shorts like I just got a spanking, and I was still sticking up, in my
shorts, under his fingers.  He stopped rubbing, and pinched my zipper. 
"Uh!" I pushed him away, but I had the door unlocked, and ran down the
steps to his bike.
   "Huh!" Shake my head, I really want my first time to be with Steve, I
love him, he's my boyfriend.  Least of all do I want to be with Him, ever.
But I didn't know, I had no idea how tempting it would feel.  "God," I
almost, huh!  It was like when he looked at his brother, scary but he told
me right away.  And secrets are bad.  Evil, like mister Wallace.  "It'll
just be our little secret."
   He patted my bottom, on the way out the door.  So, I had to tell him, if
I can, how it felt, did it feel like that, for him?  The first time, before
he started hurting him.  He should be at home, waiting, probably worried,
wondering why I'm late, if he didn't come over looking at me.  I didn't
tell him what I was going to do, because I knew he wasn't going to let me,
but I had to do something to stop him.
   Steven {bb
   Story codes aside, this shouldn't be triggering, but Spoiler Alert: This
is about the time it starts becoming more sexual.  However, they are
pre-pubertal, so it's still not going to be sex for a while.  They're not
mature enough yet.}
   I cried, but he's right.  It had to be done, "Nobody else is doing it,"
he's been doing it for years, and I saw the picture of uncle Ray.  As a
boy, it was before I was born, and Mr.  Wallaces' private hairs were brown
instead of dark grey.  The 90s, before I was born, and nobody stopped him.
   He's a supervillian, but his momma told us.  That comics books aren't
real, his daddy had a collection, but they're old, and valuable, and in
good condition so we don't get to read them.  But, "Real heros wear suits,
or uniforms." Instead of masks, and capes.  "We fight fires, and crime, in
the streets, and jails, and in the courtroom." Oh, she's a lawyer, drives
in to the county seat every day, his daddy actually takes care of the
house, and kids.  Her job is that important.  Like Harvy Dent, only her
suits have skirts.
   But Mr.  Wallace is like a serial killer, I guess.  He doesn't kill his
victims, but he had 37 pictures in that little green box when I saw it.  He
added mine to make it 38, then I never saw them again, so there's no
telling how many there are now.  Ollie told me, he didn't get to count, and
the newest one he saw was #26, but he's a Collector.  And his victims, we
suffer for years, even after he stopped, and I never saw him again.  He
just tells us to keep the secret, lets us do all kinds of bad things so we
know we'll get in trouble too.
   He taught us, which boys will most likely want to play, how to talk to
them, talk them into coming over, or call him to pick us up.  That's how he
did it, he doesn't know every boy, but all the boys know all the other
boys. Which ones are shy, or look over in the pee line.  Which ones look at
porn, and play with themselves.  What they like to look at or talk about.
What women they think are pretty, what kind of movies they like to watch.
   "Huh!" Like a spymaster.  Yeah, Bond isn't a superhero, but that kind of
Villian.  He networks, so his victims find more victims, and over decades,
he spread across the county, even knew guys in other counties.  Or he said
he did, he knew other guys his age.  Gay ones, but they like little boys,
barely looked at eachother, but he showed me a picture.  "He likes you, he
said you're cute." A picture, of his privates.  "See how much he likes
you?" He was big, but not hairy.  I thought it's like a foreskin, some men
don't have hair on there privates and in there butt.  "If you like, he'd
really like to come over, and meet you."
   He only came once, I would have played with him again, if he come back,
but this was before we said "I love you." I broke up with him as soon as I
knew.
   Oliver {bbB Cons}
   "Huh!" I set it down, "Snh!" Wiped my nose.  Ew, snot, wiped it off. 
"We'll have to rewrite it, as a testimonial statement." Now I wanna be a
lawyer when I grow up.  By day;
   "Hh!" He nodded, but he looked relieved.  "You're right, it's much
easier to write it than talk about it out loud." Gives me time to think. 
Face to face, you have to follow what they're saying, but my big brother
says I can take Debate when we get to high-school.  He kissed me.
   "Hh!  What did this," I looked for it, right, didn't give a name "Other
man do to you?"
   "Oh, we just kissed, and cuddled, in the chair." I remember the chair.
"He liked tickling me, and.  Huh, I let him touch me." He looked down,
blushed, but I love how that brings out his freckles.  "But it was back
when you and I were just friends."
   I kissed him back, "It's all right," felt his face.  "I`m not jealous,
but it's got me thinking." We can take our time, when we're alone together,
he lets me think.  "Huh," he nodded, "The way, you wrote about it, you made
it sound like it wasn't bad, it didn't hurt, or make you feel abused, like
Mr.  W did."
   "No," He shook his head.  "He, it was loving.  I mean, he was a
stranger, but I could tell he really loved boys, he made me feel good, and
he didn't even try to hurt me." He looked up, thought, so I waited.  "He
asked me.  Whenever he was gonna, like "Can I," no wait, he said, "Would it
be all right if I kissed you?" Likeat, or something likeat, but he asked if
wanted to sit in my lap?  If he could touch me there.  I let him, but when
he said it was hot, with me sitting there in his lap, he asked if I wanted
to take my clothes off, an I said "No." The weird thing he said that was
okay, "You don't have to, and I won't make you do anything you don't want."
Hn!" Wow, he really enjoyed that.  "He said I could call him daddy, if I
like, and he always wanted a son like me.  But then he left, and I never
saw him again."
   "Sounds more like a fantasy." Grownups pretend too.  Most of the books,
and movies, and stuff are made by adults, even kids books.  I had to
explain it to him, though.  Adult fantasies can be sexual, especially
grownups like a Child Molestor.  "Did you get his name?"
   "No, I said my name was Stevie" everyone else calls him that.  He
doesn't mind, but he loves for me to call him Steve, like an adult.  "And
he said I can call him Daddy, if I like."
   "Hey," I grabbed a stick, and looked back, Steve picked up a rock.  "Hey
wait." He put his hands up, "I don't want to fight," he came alone.
   "Good," I held it out so he'd have to come around to hit me, but the
stick is longer then his arm.  "Cause it wouldn't be a fight, Donnie."
   We practiced, on like a tree, and stuff.  Kind of adopted from
Napoleonic Pike and Cannon warfare, only there's just 2 of us.  Or say
Cyclops, and Wolverine.  Infantry and Artillery, one holds the target, and
Steve's much more accurate at throwing then me.  So, I have to hold the
line, but the stick makes up for my reach, and I can turn it sideways to
block.  And there's always sticks and rocks lying around in the woods, so I
don't have to carry around a shield.
   He waved a white flag, or it was a piece of paper.  "Huh, I found your,"
Held it up, read off the top, "Petition, is it?" Turned it back.  Signed,
top line, right under my signature.  Because I wrote it, not as a
witness/victim.
   "Truce?" I stood up my stick, like a walking stick, so I didn't need
both hands, and I took it back.  "Can you write out your name, too?" Messy
cursive.
   "Uh," he checked his pockets, "I didn't bring a pen."
   "Here's one," Steve set down the backpack.
   "When did you sign it?"
   "This morning," Steven held out the sketchbook so he could write it.
   "Thanks," he folded it back up, in the pocket between subjects.  "Uh, I
didn't see you at school."
   "Middle school now." He looked at Steve, "Uhm." He bit his lip, and
looked down.  So, we waited, we both know it's tough, especially talking
about, the kind of stuff that he never said anything about.  I never seen
him look so ashamed before.  "I'm sorry," he looked like he might cry? 
"Stevie, for.  Huh!" He looked up, "He, made me, find other boys, and," He
choked up, but we hugged him.  Both of us, he needed it.
   "Sh," Steve really knows how to make you feel better, "I know, he made
me do it too, but I forgive you."
   "Yeah?" He sniffed.
   "Yeah," he patted his back.  Now I'm a little shorter, and I didn't say
anything, but I felt something.  On my side, and I knew what it was.  It
was his willy, and obviously I noticed it, because he was sticking up.  Or
kind of sideways, diagonal I guess, but I felt it through his pants, and my
shirt.  I didn't say anything, because I know how he feels about gays,
always called us "Fairies," but you know?  I realized he never said fag, or
faggots.  That was the other boys, but before I ask him about it, I let go,
since he wasn't hard against me no more.
   "Hh!" I picked up the notebook, but it's like 5 subject, so there's lots
of fresh pages.  "You think you can write down, what he did, and how it
made you feel?  It's for the trial, Mom says she'll work with the County
Prosecuter when we have enough for the case, she's got a meeting to go over
the petition, and determine probable cause for a search, but because we
don't have any Evidence yet, the more witness," don't call them victims,
that doesn't work out well, when you talk to them likeis.  He's not cryin
again, "testimony we have, the stronger it'll make a case."
   "You sound like a cop."
   "Well, I'm gonna be a detective, so I might as well start practicin'."
He started laughing, so we all started laughing.  "Uuuuh!  And any boys you
know about." I'll compare them to the names we already got, but he's older,
and he probably knows the one who brought him over.  "Also, don't say
anything to Deputy McCalliffe.  I think he might be in on it."
   "Oh yeah," he nodded, "He molested me too.  Like every time I went in
for stealing, or vandalism."
   "Oh," actually he stopped.  Acting up, in town.  Where he could get
busted by adults, he mostly bulled kids when nobody was looking.  Write
that down.  "Yeah, and any other men you might know too." Steve and I never
did anything, like stealing, and graffiti to get in that much trouble. 
"Did he threaten you?  I mean the Deputy."
   "Yeah," he nodded, "He said I'd go to jail, for life, and the niggers'd
rape me every night." Write that down too, so that's where that came from.
   "Steve?" I looked at him.  He looked away.  "Steven?" He glanced back.
   "Yeah," he nodded, "He said that." Corroboration.
   "Good," to myself as much as anyone else.
   Donald {Bbb Cons Slow}
   "Huh!" I looked up from the page, "Do I have to write the stuff I," did.
Wrong, "Liked?"
   "It might be better to talk about it." He sat in Steven's lap, kissing,
but they kept their swim-trunks on.
   "Uh," I stuck the pen in the spiral, "You mind if I cool off?" It was
hot, watching them, the cute little fairies, I could see they're in love.
   "Go ahead," I didn't bring any trunks, didn't really plan to hang out,
so I kicked off my shoes, undid my shorts, and pushed down my underwear
with them.  They looked, but I just sat down in the water, and pulled my
shirt up to keep it dry.
   I called them "Mudbutts," before were friends again.  I didn't know it
was from playing in the brook, and then sitting together in the dirt
likeat. I thought it was from buttfucking, or something, but they don't
even touch eachother, really.  Not in their shorts, they keep them on, and
just hold, and kiss eachother.  And play together, Cops and Robbers kids
stuff, but they're still kids, and "Huh!" I wish I had a friend likeat. 
Boyfriend, or girlfriend, it doesn't really matter when you're 12, and
everyone pretty much looks the same from the belt up.  Long hair would be
nice.
   "It might help," he been thinking about it, "If you seperate what you
like from what hurt, and scared you." He told me, this is as much for
helping me deal with it as nailing their asses to the wall.  Turns out
there's a lot of gay men around here, it's not just the boys.  And teens, I
guess.  I'll be a teenager in April.
   "Huh!" I thought, "The movies, he showed us." Yeah, well I had sex with
your boyfriend already.
   "The gay ones?"
   "Huh!" Yeah, I know, "Those too, but the ones with girls, or not the
ones girls with girls.  I like girls too, but not just girls." ; I winked,
"I told you, I'm not gay."
   "You're bisexual."
   I nodded, "So anyway, I hated buttfucking.  It hurts, it always hurts,
don't let him lie to you about that, But first, he liked to put it in my
mouth."
   "Right," he laughed, "You called us buttfuckers, but not Cocksuckers. 
That was always Jerry."
   "Yeah," I was in denial, all right?  He understands, he explained it to
me.  But, I guess I deserve a little humiliation for what it made me do. 
I'd earned it.  "Huh!"
   "Take your time."
   "Yeah," I'm a cocksucker.  "I liked that, and even in the movies, my
favorite parts were the blowjobs, and the cumshots." I like the cum too,
even the water wasn't cold enough, I wasn't just floating downstream any
more.
   "Mhm?" He just nodded, and blinked.  He does most of the talking, but
Steven was kissing his neck.
   "Yeah," I just stood up, and my balls were pretty shrunken, but it
really didn't keep the swelling down, very long.
   "He's circumcized," he giggled, to Steve.
   "I know," he looked too, "I saw his picture."
   He touched it, we jerked eachother off, while Mr.  Wallace watced.  I
even sucked on his, and he got hard, having sex with me, but it was just
that 1 time.  "Huh!" He hadn't grown as much.
   "He didn't have hair on it," Ollie loked, and Steven looked away.  "In
the picture." Right, your secret's safe with me.  I think I understand,
Ollie, he still likes Ollie even though Steven and I are using our full
names now.  He's not the youngest, but he's the smallest, and the smartest.
Not the most experienced though, he'd only been with Steven, and they
weren't even having sex, yet.
   "You mind if I jerk off," I boyoinged it, "Or something?  I don't have a
boyfriend, or a girlfriend yet."
   And they taught me.  The men, Ollie calls it Grooming, but they told me
how to seduce gay little boys.  I didn't bring any porn, but I happened to
bring a not so little boy's body, and they just stopped looking up.  At my
face, from my hand, what I was holding, and how I stroked it.  Slow.  Cute
little fairies, I don't hate them, I never really did.  Just when there's
other kids around, this it not the big city, or like San Francisco
California.  We don't have a downtown so much as a street with a couple
stores, and offices across it, and a sign to tell you what town you're
drivng through.  Most folk don't even stop.
   And It ain't like I never thought about it, since I played with Stevie,
back then it was Stevie.  But back then, I was shooting blanks, he didn't
even get off, but he giggled when it, "Uh!"
   Ollie giggled first, I opened my eyes to see his fingers over his smile,
but Steve watched too.
   "Nh!" I didn't have to watch, had the looks on their faces memorized as
more shot out, then started dribbling on my nuckles.  "Huh, lng!" I licked
them off.  "Yeah!" Can't remember the last time I got off like that.  "Uh!"
   "Smp!" Ollie looked up, and I think he rolled his tongue around in
there. "Mh!" He smiled.  Steve just looked at him, I'm not sure what that
was on his face.  "I got a foreskin," he pulled it out, and showed me.  So
did Mr.  W, but, his looked so cute, and hard.  Steve put his hand over it,
and stepped between us.  "Mh!" He sighed, his eyes closed.  So, I grabbed
my shorts, and shit.
   "I'm gonna go," putting them on, "Leave you two alone..."
   But he sucked me first.  Both of them, he flashed his little hardin at
me, and pulled back the skin.  Maybe jack off again on the way back.  When
it gets hard again.  It's weird, them being that in love, for that long,
and not even jerking off together.  I mean it's been like 3 years, since I
seen it, 3 summers at least.  Why I always thought the, well, they reminded
me of fairies, I guess.  Their cute likeat, especially together, I'm not
sure how anyone can look atthem and not see they're a couple.
   Shouldn't have outed them, though.  That was bad, but I was a pretty bad
boy.  God damn that was hot, though.  Jerking off in front of them, and
Ollie flashing me likeat.  Better'n porn, I shoud be able to jack off to
that for a while, since I don't play with any men, or boys no more.  But
they waited, you know it remends me of how they wait for eachother to
think, instead of talking over eachother.
   And I think I might have to wait.  For a while, until I think about all
this, sex, and pain, and fear, and love, and boys, and girls, and "Huh!"
But I better stop and jack off again first.
   Deputy Donald {Mm Anal Cons BDSM}
   So, I went back to Deputy Frank.  Well, used to be what passed for a
sheriff in these parts, it's not quite a small-town.  It's more like a
rural neighborhood, or a place to come in from the farm, for groceries. 
There's just a grade-school, but me, and the boys ride buses out to our
schools.
   But I like Men, and hand-cuffs.  The whole cop fantasy, sure.  I'm not
gay, but only because I don't limit my options that much.  One of the
conditions of his parole, but I'm 18, and we don't want to leave him
sexually frustrated after losing his job, and all.  Turns out, he's not a
pedophile, either.  He doesn't really care, but everyone around knows not
to give him any opportunities.
   Sheriff's deputy was probably not the best career for him.  Too much
Power, that he likes to Assert.  I don't really mind, he's good at it, and
I can take a lot of pain.  "Punk!"
   "Ah!" Didn't really hurt, but he likes me to scream.
   Oh, and a badboy.  A hero, but that's 2 different things.  The hero can
be a bad boy.
   "Thought I taught you a LESSon!" I don't tense, with it deep within me.
Not yet, unfortunately, he's got a short fuse, and I'm not quite ready for
it to end.  He holds it in, deep, "Faggot!" Donky punches me again.
   "Nh!" I tense.  Never know how long I'll hold out, but then my ass slams
shut, and I can relax.  "Huh!" The rubber slaps greasily on the floor, and
he grunts behind me.  My ass hot from him spanking me with his belly, and
still shaking with the adrenaline, the endorphins, "Hah!" Breathless as the
hot wet splats stick, and roll down.  "Hhuhuh uH!" He pats it, and pulls up
the chain to unlock my wrists.
   I just catch my breath, and rub my bracers around to loosen them up. 
"Thanks," I kiss him, "Sir." Then, "Ah!" he gets in another swat before I
get my shorts up.  "Huh!  See you tomorrow."
   It helps me think.  Or switch back from cramming all that stuff in my
head at school to the afternoon.  I don't understand it, but I need a
head-change.  I light up the joint as soon as I'm back in the woods, or the
trees between the neighborhoods, that oughta hold me for hours.  I got a
condition, "Gotta take my meds." Spit out a flake of stem.  Still hot
assed, my jeans rubbing on them, back and forth as I jog out, and break
into a run.
   Head for the creek, I stopped by the dispensary after I got dropped off.
I smoke, too much, but you wanna see my prescription?  Washington State,
right across the top, but we're out in the country, so they're still a
little old fashioned.  The boys can get married, when they turn 18, but
that's a long ways away, and it helps them too.  They're in the tent, and
it's shaking, so I just stop, and smoke the rest of the joint.
   Now here's the deal.  We don't have badguys here.  I'm about the worst
one in town, because the three of us systematically tracked them all down,
and sent them to prison.  Well, the bad men, the boys they abused stopped
making bad boys worse, and since we knew all the victims, we got them all
help too.
   The other victims, we help eachother.  "I smell a polecat!" You ever
seen the old 80s version of Dune?  Nevermind, but when Steven steps out of
the tent, glistening with sweat, he kinda looks like Sting.  Or he did,
before he got old, that was like decades ago, but he stands up, pulls up
his boxers, and sniffs.  "Any of that roach left?" He grins.
   More and more like Thor with that messy metalhead mop, but he started
puberty when he was 9.  Almost 10.  Pretty sure, his boyfriend,
fingercombing his hair is Ollie, the brains of the operation, and I guess
our leader.  Steve pulls on his shirt, and checks the Captain America
button on the pocket before he buttons it up.  As much a badge for taking
down a Sheriff as an inside joke.  Tall, blonde, skinny, wirey, almost
elvinly pretty, and don't he know it?
   "Knkh!" Passes it down to ollie.  Pinching it in his long nails, and
puffing his lips out like an African American.  I guess, never smoked with
one, only seen it on TV.
   So, I dropped off their eith, and left them alone together.  They
practically live out here, just go home to sleep, take a bath, and change,
since neither of their families let them sleep over.  They're Christians.
   So, I guess we're the badboy heros.  The 2 fairies, and the
sadomasochistic drug dealer.  But, it's not even a small town, so we don't
tolerate any other bad kids.  It's a good thing I don't like boys, but
Steve is looking more like a man every day.
   .
   .
   Steve {Bm NS...}
   "Hey," I caught up, left it half buttoned.  "Wanna hang out a while?"
   Looked back, but Ollie was already back to reading his book.  Well, not
his notebook, but whatever's been keeping him so preoccupied lately.
   "I don't have plans," he sits down, "Wanna talk?" He sits down, and
starts rolling one from the walk back, since he can't take our pipe with
him.  I'm gonna learn to roll, though.
   "You got a," I look back, made the smoke sign.
   "I'm quitting," he twisted the studded leather bracelet on his wrist, so
the snaps were on the inside, "And you shouldn't start, either." I look up.
"You're not," he lets go, "Thinking about getting into the rough stuff, are
you?"
   "No," I look away.  He chuckles, back at camp.
   "Ollie?" I can't lie to him, so I nod.
   "Huh!  I guessed he was the bottom, but."
   "Oh no, we're not fucking.  But, he likes spanking."
   "His dad,"
   "No, neither of them spanked him." They're more the hippy dippy commune
Christians, they'll probably come around first.  "I think that's why he
likes it."
   "Then what's the problem?" He's so much more sexually experienced than
even me.
   "I don't like it." It don't feel right.
   "Oh," he shook his head, "Well why don't you talk to him about it?"
   "I can't," he enjoys it so much I want to make him happy, but,
   "Well, he's like my therapist, so if you want," he got up, "I'll talk to
him."
   Oliver {Bf...m NS}
   "So," she stared at us, "Who's the bottom?" A while.
   "Huh!" roll my eyes, "We're both gay, we both like guys, and we're not
fucking yet.  So, neither and/or both." Pretty much the standard answer to
the FAQ.  They ask me often enough, I tend to think of something.
   "Sorry," she came over, "I didn't mean to offend you, it's just, you
guys fascinate me."
   "Well;" go on...
   "I mean, you're obviously so happy together, and," she looks up like
that.  "Uh!  I just wish I could find someone like that."
   "Another girl?"
   "No a man." she shakes her head, "I mean yeah, maybe a little
bi-curious, but;"
   "But," she didn't finish, and her expression changed.
   "Huh!" Steve kissed my hand, and kept holding it in my lap.  Right there
on the bus, it's a long ride, but it's been 6 years, and people don't
really talk about it.  So much as our sexuality being overshadowed by our
triple handedly busting up a county-wide pedorasto, and childporn ring. 
Oh, and my mother's the County Prosecuter now.  So, they stopped fucking
with us about it.
   Now, it's mostly just annoying.  "So, what's the problem?"
   "Huh!" She leaned in, right next to us on the seat, but the rest of the
kids were pretty loud.  "Well," she looked down, "I'm a little kinky, so
it's been hard finding a boy my age who can, satisfy me."
   "How kinky," Steve asked, and I added, "And kinky how?"
   "Huh!  You know, you guys were, well two of the three that got every
pedophile busted?" Well, just in the county.  "Well, you got my boyfriend
too.  Huh, only he wasn't a boy, he was a grownup adult, so.  Well, I
started," she looked down in the general direction of the top of her lap.
"I started playing with myself, and remembering," she looked around, "Him."
Capital Him.  "And, now I'm horny and I don't have anyone to play with."
   "Well, we're gay." And fairly exclusive, "But I might know someone
who's, he shares some of your experiences.  If you don't mind me asking,"
she's a lady, "How old are you?"
   "Oh, 13.  Why?"
   Other than possible legal ramifications, "Well, I'll tell him about you,
and if he's interested," like there's any shred of a question, he NEEDs
her! I'm so happy I finally found a kinky girl to hopefully make him
happier.  I mean he's trying, but he's also a clinical Psychopath.  Got it
in writing, on prescriptions for it.
   "Oh, and he's a psychopath."
   "Really!?" Only took like 6 years.  Hey, some people take a lot longer.
"Cool!"
   "Not really," cool at all, but as his friend, I feel obligated to help
him cope with it.  As much as I can.
   Joanna {FmB
   "Well, I don't want to tell my whole life story."
   "But it can help." he put his fingertips together, and Steve held onto
his legs.  And it's so weird, seeing two boys just sit like that, on the
bus.  And yeah, it's a long ride, because they have to pick up me, and
Ollie at the gifted school, and then Steve up at the middle school.  Oh,
and they get off in like the town before me.  Long bus, by the way.  And
rural routes, so it literally takes hours.  But there's like 1 bus-stop per
town, our parents come and pick us up.
   "Well, he wasn't my boyfriend, he was my cousin.  But he was grown up,
so I guess more like my uncle.  So anyway, we don't really have nobody to
play with but our family." except our friends at school, but they're
country too, so they understand.  "He was the only boy that played with
me."
   "But he liked sexual play."
   "Not always, I mean, I knowed him all my life," he's older, "But then he
started growin up, you know, and noticing girls.  He was really more like
my best friend, but then, it got more, romantic?" They both nodded.  "Huh!
He really liked cops, and robbers, and playing the badguy," they nod again,
"And especially.  Well, there was this," look around, and lower my voice,
"Special kinda cops and robbers he calls Crime, and Punishment." My face
felt hot just talking about it.
   "What'd he do?"
   "I don't know, robbed a bank, jewelry heist, he was the badguy, so he
had to do something."
   "No, I mean to you."
   "Nothing, I mean he shot at me, and always miss, but the good guys got
to win."
   "Of course." Steve nodded, but Ollie sighed.  "How did it turn sexual?"
   "Well, that was the punishment part.  He did the crime."
   "So you did the punishment?" They finish eachother's sentences too, I
got used to it pretty quick.  "Yeah, I got to tye him up, and spank him,
and do whatever I want."
   "Oh!" he laughed, but the bus stopped, and I did just say that pretty
loud.  I covered my mouth, but a bunch of kids just got off, so we moved
back to an emptier set of seats.  I turned around in mine, so they he
didn't have to sit in Steve's lap.  "You're a dom."
   "A what?"
   "Dominant," but it's confusing looking back and forth when they talk, "I
guess technically a Dominatrix."
   "Yeah," I hearda that, shook my head, "But no.  I mean, I like being
tied up, and," well that's a long list, "Pleasured too."
   "So a switch," they looked at eachother.  Like twins, only nothing like
twins, because they're 2 completely different guys, and they're not even
related to eachother.
   "Yeah," I guess, "Sorry, I don't know all the words." I only really been
with 1 guy, but it was like.  Well, we did a lot of role-play, so it was
really like more than just one guy.  "You guys play any D&D?"
   "No," they looked at eachother and laughed, but didn't share the joke.
They kissed, though, and OMG watching them kiss is just so goddamn sweet,
it almost made me sick.  A little.  I mean, people, normal people tend to
think this is good, and that is bad.  Like gays, they can't think of them
as anything but slutty child molesters, and deviants.  Meanwhile they go
on, and on about Traditional Family Values, and then their Priests molest
boys.
   Well, I ain't never seen a happy straight couple, in my whole life. 
These two, pardon the expression, but they prefer the term "Fairies." They
have the most perfect relationship I've ever seen, and I believe it's
because they don't repress everything.  I don't know, I can't take
psychology yet, but those two are proof that the heteronormative homophobic
stereotype of "Faggots" is complete bullshit, because every single thing
they have to say about them is wrong.
   And as a satanist, I kinda like that.
   Donny {MG...}
   So, they gave me her address, and told her what my car looks like.  It's
a car, an American one, made by somebody in Detroit.  It has an engine,
doors, a back seat, too.  My tutor says I should work on my Descriptions.
It's got paint, wanna guess what color?  Here's a hint: It's not Arrest me
Red.  {Nor Gofasta((TM)) Games Workshop.  Neither.}
   All they told me is she's 13, lives with her folks, is into Kink, and
probably needs help processing her sexual abuse.  She snuck out, now I'm
not telling you what fucking State we're in, but I'm 18, and she's 13, so
it don't really matter, she's Statutory in any of them.  And my car, it has
tires too.  She snuck out, met me at the mailboxes, I had no idea what to
expect.
   "I brought my dice!" Okay, Punk/Goth doesn't surprise me, but she pulls
it off better than any other 13 year old I've seen, and she goes to Ollies'
school, so she's gifted.  Oh, the dice is an allusion to her excuse tonite.
Her parents played D&D with her, so they let her go out and "Role Play"
with her friends.  Yes, I totally saw what she did there.  It's friday
night, so she has to be back some time tomorrow, so she can get to bed at a
decent hour for church.  And she goes, dressed like that.  I think they're
Unitarian?
   "Cool," she shut the door, "Buckle up." I don't get pulled over.  Never
had, and I plan to maintain that record.  So, I have my dates buckle up,
it's a quicker conversation than explaining it to the Staters.  If we're
lucky.  Ain't driving her across the county line.  The main problem is I am
a sexual predator, trying real hard not to be.  Sometimes, Hero Complex can
be a good thing.
   I think the thing is, all the other Scenester kids look like a halloween
costume.  She just buckles up, crosses her legs, and I pull out.  Just like
the first time anyone sees Ollie sitting in Steve's lap.  They're the same
age, very much in love, and the happiest couple I expect to meet in my
life. They tried spanking, for a while, it didn't work out, they moved on.
   She looked comfortable.  You expect her to jump up and down, cheering
about the dark-side waving black, and crimson pom-poms.  She shrugged, and
didn't say much.  Might as well been a skirt, and a teeshirt, just clothes
to her.  "You're," glance over the mix of some overlapping and/or mutually
exclusive iconography.  Guessed, "Wiccan?"
   "Casual Satanist?  I don't guess I'm really spiritual, but I kinda dig
La Vey's Left Hand Path."
   Well, "What's that all about?" It's a long drive, and can't get to know
her if she doesn't talk.  Or think out loud, I think that's what she mostly
did.
   "Yeah," a good satanist?  Sorry, most of my Darkside friends are Wiccan,
there was a Coven in High School, and a Vampire clique I didn't know what
they called themselves, because they're rivals.  Gotta hang out with
someone, the boys were still in middle school, and so they're the next
closest thing to cool.  Okay, it's a pretty progressive country out there,
there's a Christian Commune nearby, Jesus Hippies.  Baptists, and Catholics
too, but they're not as much a majority as say, Texas?  IDK, never been.
   What I'm saying is, that's why you can have an openly gay couple, boys
at that, and it blows over in like 5 years.  If they're Lesbians, we
probably wouldn't even have had to save every child sex abuse victim in the
county we could find.  But, the network was entrenched for decades.  A few
decades, our oldest known offendor started in the 70s.  Sorry, but context.
It's hard to explain how a bunch of Junior-through-Highschool kids can have
this much experience with sex offenders, and victims.  The only reason we
have any Legal power is because we also happen to know the county
Prosecutor, personally.  She lives in town, and incidentally, we helped her
get elected, but I digress.
   "In the interest of Quid Pro Quo, I consider myself an Orthodox
Gnostic."
   "What's that?"
   "A heretic, but a student of the first heretics in christendom." And it
sounds cool, the way I say it.
   "Oh," she grinned, "What's that all about?"
   "Well," I grinned back, "I'm glad you asked that." And winked...
   Joan {GM Femdom.}
   "Just Joan," nice place.  "Got it?" He nodded.  We got the whole
politico/religious small talk out of the way, then we talked kink for a
while, then flipped a coin.
   "Yes, Joan." He lowered his head.  I hate Joanna.  Most of all, I hate
all the clever ways clever people find to clip it into Joanne, Jean, Janie,
Anna, and Annie will probably cost you a little blood.  It'll hurt, I
guarantee you'll feel it.
   He's a "Dominant Masochist," but just from talking to him, at length, he
likes to play with Dichotomies like that.  He's also a "Progressive
Anarchist." and "Existential Nihilist," It's a long story, and there's no
sex in it.  So, moving on.
   "You LIKE pain?" Not submissive, at all.
   "Yes Mistress."
   Backhand, "I TOLD you, my Name is Joan!"
   "Yes," he grinned, "Joan." Also admitted to topping from the bottom, and
I admit, it's pretty fun.  I'm not a Dom, however you spell it.  I can
Dominate, and I like a submissive man, but really I like the whole game of
it.  It's a scene, we're acting.  And pretending, I guess lucky guys like
the fairies don't really need a Fantasy.  Most people don't get that lucky,
and some people need it, because normal is boring.  That goes for normal
sex too.
   No bondage yet, his shoulders flex, he's pulling at his hands as I walk
around him.  Fists tight, white knuckle, but this is actually better
sometimes when someone's into being Bound.  Being held back isn't as hard
as holding yourself, and he's so hard.  Betcha anticipated a swat to that
nice tight, almost boxy ass of your's huh?  Well, I have to hold myself
back too, darling, but I'll get my hands on it soon enough.
   I learned, mostly from watching videos when we ran out of our own
material, that most Doms talk too much.  Slap, and tickle too much.  You
have to stimulate them, that's what this is really what it's all about, but
the Anticipation.  "Suck it in," I slapped his tummy.  As much to feel it
as to snap him out of it, but that's my secret:
   I discovered that Subspace is inside us.  Probably all of us, there's
relatively few that like it in there, but when they do.  The Doms that keep
you constantly stimulated keep pulling you out.  It really sucks, when you
want to snuggle up, and just feel, you kinda have to have been there to
understand, but take my word for it.  The Doms that don't know this
probably don't know the biggest thing about this kind of play:
   It's about the bottom.
   If it's about you, then you can't be the top, might want to try the
bottom.  If you "Top," and you've never been to subspace, you're not a Dom,
you're an abuser.  And that's why we get all that shit out of the way
before we jump right in, and build up from the lightest tap.  Because we
all have issues, and this is for him.  Don't get into BDSM to be the
biggest baddest Dom on the block, because that's not BDSM, and most of us
can spot that a mile away.  You might as well just go out, and kidnap
someone, or check yourself into prison.  Because there they can help you
learn what Abuse is.
   I'll stick to Play.
   {Author here.  Yeah, NS.  That's not just for me, I try to be pretty
good about telling you when the characters' views are the self validating
excuses of an abuser, and not those of the Author.  This time, I'm
compelled to tell you that all of that was Me.  Talking through the
characters, so that you the readers get a chance to know the difference. 
If you're interested in trying any of that kind of stuff, that's how you do
it: Talk about it first, build from the slightest stimulus in the smallest
increments they can tell the difference between, and don't abuse them. 
It's just that simple, don't create victims.}
   Donnie {MG BDSM...}
   "HhuHUH?" It just jumped out, and hands down the best jerkoff I ever
felt.  Wasn't really what she did, or even said, but it took hours, it
ached, I sincerely begged her to let me have a release, and she finally
tortured it out of me.
   "Ew," she wiped it on my mouth, and I lapped at it hungrily.  "You made
a mess!"
   I have to remind myself, she's only 13, and I'm just her second
boyfriend.  "Now," she wiped the rest off on a fresh paper towel, "You
think you can rape me?"
   "What?" No, "Actually, can you give me a minute?"
   "Well," she laughed, "I didn't mean now-now!  Sorry, I mean whenever
you," she waved her black lacy fingerless glove.  "Recover."
   I was already naked, my knees ached, my hands cramped from holding them
behind me, and I can't remember being so satisfied in my life.  Or a
satisfying handjob, before.  Like every time I ever jerked off before, put
together, blown away, and she didn't take off a stitch.  Hope I didn't ruin
that glove, it felt remarkably rough.  I don't even mind her wasting my
juice, I'll make more.
   "Huh!" I took a piss.  "Uh!" Shook it off.  "Mind if I take a bath?"
   "Leave the door open."
   She found my stash, and this time I can't say I wasn't expecting to
bring a barely teenage girl over, but I'm not used to hiding it.  "You got
a pipe?"
   "If you bring me the green cigarette tin," I sat up, "I can roll a
joint."
   She got a little glass spoon out of her purse.  Not that I really wanted
to, I'd rather just go ahead and smoke after that.  She cornered it, left
me some greens, but still lit, so I waved off the lighter.  She set it
down, most 20+ year olds don't just take a hit.  Burn the whole bowl, and
probably pack another, but, apparently she's not likeat, neither. 
"Whhhoooo!" Set down the lighter too.
   "Rape fantasies." Not really a question, she just nodded.
   "After you got him busted," turns out he cheated on me, a lot.  "I guess
I got a little paranoid/" dropped my hand, "/Persecution complex." Kinda
nice hanging out with someone who knows the language, and just nods.  "So
yeah, I started having nightmares, then they turned erotic until I started
playing with myself, and thinking about it."
   "Getting raped."
   "Not like, violently." I don't like pain, told him that.  I know the
stereotype is Cutter, but I never seriously entertained the thought. 
"Yeah, hard but not, painful, or humiliating." I'm not suicidal, either.
   "Narrows it down to reassurance, or possibly acquaintance."
   "What's reassurance?"
   "Stalkers, mostly fantasize, the Reassurance stalkers are the ones with
a delusional," put up his fingers, "Relationship," /quote "With the
victims, tend to break in at night, and only resort to rape, or murder when
the delusion shatters.  Or, the victim plays along, and they get to do the
"Gentleman Rapist" schtick."
   "Yeah," kinda hot, and steamy in here, "And he's got a great bod." Shit,
sometimes I talk to myself, out loud, about someone sitting right in front
of me.  It doesn't usually go as well when they're not comfortably naked at
the time, like at a Starbucks or wherever.
   "Thanks," he shrugs.
   "You're more the Acquaintance type." It's not like lovers with him, it's
just sex.  Which I really like.
   "No, I'm more the Retaliatory type." He changed, I shrunk back a little.
"Sorry," looked so Angry, "A couple of the things you said "no" to earlier.
Pain, humiliation, I guess we're still relative strangers, but that ain't
me."
   "It came out of you," and it was exciting!  "Uh, but you're talking
about Acquaintance," I can always play a stranger.
   "Yeah," later, "Like date-rape.  I wouldn't drug you, or get you drunk,
but it's pretty softcore." For now... "You want the bath water?" I shook my
head, "Wet, or dry?" Got up.
   "Uh," I looked up, "Wet," held up my arms, over my top.
   "Cum on in," he closed the door, "When you're ready." ;)
   He didn't lock it.
   So really, the question is, "Naked or clothes?"
   Donnie {MG "Rape" Fant.}
   Okay, I stood there like a dipshit, dripping, and holding the towel
until I was mostly dry.  Then I noticed the light was out.  In my bedroom,
I hung up the towel, and turned off the light.
   ...
   Listened at the door,
   "..."
   "Huh!" Let my eyes adjust to the dark, and silently opened my own
goddamned bathroom door, to peek out into my bedroom.
   Topping from the bottom, ownright passive aggressive about it, but rape
fantasies, why does this feel like an ambush, should've hung up the
bathmat, and;
   "Hhhhhhhhhh..." I hear her, breathing.  From the bed.
   Oh, Reassurance.  Try not to laugh, shit eating grin, did kinda force
that card, and I'm ready to fucking go.  Wait, rubber, now I'm ready to
fucking go.
   I wonder if that's how she really sounds when she's asleep, don't know
that we'll get all that much sleeping in, but it sounds fake.  A little too
fast and shallow, because she is actually excited, and trying to sound like
she's asleep, and I'm almost giggling, but I don't want to spoil the scene.
She picked it, and you know?  I always wanted to try reassurance rape.  Not
enough to start potentially risky behaviour, like looking for windows to
peep in, because I really don't want to try rape,
   but if I did, I'd want to be gentle about it.  No Anger, I know what it
says in the manual, but that's only when the fantasy breaks, and she's
going to play along, but this is her fucking fantasy!  So, I'm ready, and
she's waited so long anticipation probably isn't going to make her want it
any more.
   "Hm?"
   "It's okay," I didn't cover her mouth.  "It's me."
   "Who?"
   I looked at her, and dropped the mask.  "Don't scream." Here's the
thing, if you play along, I don't haveta rape yuh.
   That was fear.  Or she's a better actress than any I've seen twice her
age.  I tell myself, it's only 5 years.  But it's those 5 years. 
Specifically from 13-18, the 5 years between child, and legal adult, and
he'd tell himself she wants this.  I love her, she has to be able to see it
in my eyes, the same as every time I smiled at her, and she smiled back.
   She relaxes, a little.  Remembered her fantasy, so we don't have to do
what I mean when I say rape.  People don't even think about it, but it's
not one thing to me.  It might be for me, and not for her, because she's on
the bottom, but this one's a lot of work.  He cares, about her pleasure. 
His whole worldview is wrapped up in being lovable.  Deserving to be loved.
It's a fantasy, of course, they're loser cowards that can't even confront a
girl, but at least they don't snatch them from behind in the dark.  Degrade
them, dehumanize them to make myself feel better.
   No, he comes in her room, "I don't want to hurt you," Brush back her
hair with my hand.  "I love you." Hold her head down, and force my lips on
hers.
   Hard, "MhmmMMH!" Like I aint got the slightest clue how to kiss the girl
I "love." Training bra, but enough tit to mash with my thumbs and fingers.
Here's the trick, not hard enough to hurt, but underbid it as close as you
can, so she knows if I squeeze any harder, it's gonna hurt.
   "Hhuhuh!?"
   "You okay?"
   "Uh huh?"
   "I just couldn't never work up the courage to tell you," I guessing
aquaintence/stalker.  Friendzone, but can't make the endzone, so kick it in
for rape.  But it's not rape, she wants it.  I kinda like the rape/not-rape
aspect of it.  Close enough to get her off, not escalating to a very, VERY
bad time.  Don't hurt her, but the threat does seem to excite her, just got
to be passive-aggressive.
   Oh, and I've been reading, ahead.  Like Ollie, I can't say I'm gonna be
a profiler when I grow up, but I can damned well try.  Not with an adult
criminal record, though.  I want the school in Quantico.
   And, extra points for controlling myself.  When I'm this close, fingers
on the underwear of a kinky little barely pubescent girl, in my own bed,
they can bust in with the badges and cameras any time now, but while I got
this Opportunity, I'm going to take my time taking advantage of it.
   Joanna {MG Mole DS Rape Fant.
   I mean, all that dialog, in and out of character happens, then this is
the Fantasy she writes down.}
   He just molested me.  I asked for rape, but I was molested before we had
sex, even at night in bed, but honestly, it didn't feel like that.  For 1
thing, my cousin wasn't that good at it.  For another, he's like a
stranger, but he touched me in ways my cousin never learned, and he kept
saying "I love you," in this creepy way I know is a lie, and I get ahead of
myself.
   He made me wait, way longer then he was in the bathroom.  I figured he
caught on, and turned off the light, and ninja'd the place, but it's his
own room.  I don't hear anything, then i hear him breathe.  "Hhhhhhhhhh."
With me, i stop, hold my breath, but...
   "..."
   Nothing, but i'm supposed to be asleep, so I snort, and turn my head,
away.  Was that, `huh!' a sigh?  Quiet as a whisper, but i feel the sheet
on my nipples, through the training bra i'm so turned on, and the hairs
standing up on my shoulders, and I slit my eyes just enough to see him, or
his shadow.  His dark silhouette, but he also said Acquaintance.  So, he
could be my big brother, sneaking into my room, curious, or just looking
for something to jerk off too, but he touched me.
   Just my hair, but `huh!' Yup, that's a sigh.  And it's just so damned
creepy i'm about to wet my panties, and he barely touched me.  Seriously, i
could just watch him jerk off, on my face, and probably cum my britches
just from the hot wet splats, but i get ahead of myself.  I do that, when
I'm excited.
   And he touches me, Finally!  "Uh!" he stops, I turn my head, and pretend
to snore, but I don't know how long I can keep acting asleep.  He doesn't
touch himself, I can see it dip, and twitch in profile with his pulse, and
i'm just trying not to shiver.  "HhhhhHhHhH!"
   `huh!' Okay, i shivered, a little.  Just through the blanket, and my
underwear, but he's gently cupping my chest, and I just want to throw the
covers off, grab him in both hands, and stuff him inside of me!  Or touch
myself, but "Mhh!" He stops.  i didn't think, i was ready for bondage.  i
can't trust him, i barely know him, but if He don't do something, I'm gonna
push his hand out of the way, and jam both hands in my twat, or something,
but He's teasing me, and it's Working!  i haven't been this turned-on in
years, and He's gonna make me beg!  I giggle a little, but cover it up by
grabbing the top of the mattress, because he doesn't have a fucking
headboard!
   But I can hold out, maybe longer then him, but you're just not going to
touch that thing, at all?  I mean, I know I just jerked you off, but no!
   Fuck!
   He's giving me the slow torture hand-job!  I've never gotten one before,
kinda a Femdom thing, and now, I'm pretty sure, he's going to do it to me.
He can do this, I can do this, but.
   "Mhhhhhh!"
   "Don't scream." I look up at his eyes, and.  Fuck, I woke up!  "I don't
want to hurt you." But the anger quickly fades, and he leans in.  "It's
okay," his fingers slip away, "It's me." And I gasp into his mouth, he
pulled the sheet away, and like a couple teaspoons of sex sweat flash
evaporated off my body.  I almost popped off right there, but he held me
down.  His hand on my chest, and my heart beat so fast and so hard, and he
climbed on the bed with me.
   "hhhhhhhhH!" I held my breath.  Relaxed my fingers behind the mattress
before they go numb.  I felt like I had an orgasm, without all the weird
twitching and gushing around inside.  I don't know, a female orgasm.  Have
a few, that.  Can't really explain what it feels like, but none of that.
   "You okay?" Did we agree on a safe word?
   "Yeah," Why would I need it?  "I trust you," either of them?
   "Hhhhhh!" I just grabbed him, sat up, and jerked him off in my mouth as
quick as I could.  He passed out, I think.  I mean I had to close his eyes,
and check his breathing before I closed his mouth.  "HhHh," creepy,
"Hihhihin!" Wave my hand in front of his eyes, wow, just wow.  I wiped my
mouth, and dear god did he save that bathwater?
   "Snhhh!" It smelled like a barn, or what I'd imagine a barn orgy would
smell like.  He snores, mouth breather, I don't bother shutting it again.
Hard to believe just the two of us stank it up that much, though, and we
barely Touched eachother!  "Whoooooh!"
   Look around, get my cigarettes out of my purse.  I know, 13 years old? A
little young, but incest survivor.  I started early.  "Whhhhew!" Smoke
outside, it's not that cool, kind of dry, but they say we're in a drought.
Okay, locally, "Drought" means different things.  On the Olympic Peninsula
it doesn't mean the same thing as the piedmont to the Appelatians, or
tornado alley.}
   I blink, and my hands shake.  Then my legs, and my knees drop out, and I
start flopping, like I'm having a seizure.
   {Sorry,}
   I'm having a seizure?{Well, you did tell me to rape you, but that was a
total accident.}
   What?{Possessing you,}The Fuck!?  {Ha,} I can feel him in my mind.{Well,
Incubis, I usually cum in the other end.} He, giggled?{Yeah, sorry, I've
just had this kinda conversation so many times, it's hard to work up much
enthusiasm.  But, you are a satanist.}
   "You're a Demon?" Shake my head.
   {Don't you go to a gifted school?  Yeah, or sex angel, really depends on
how you look at it.} Like everything else.  {Ascended rape demon, if angels
can fall, nothing is irredeemable.} You're lying, I can tell?  {I can't
tell you the truth, something about things mortal minds cannot know, so I
tell you the parts you can in concepts you're comfortable with.  The
superhero nerds got the Alien story, it's actually somewhere between the
two, and I can't tell you all of it, because it wouldn't fit in your head.
For all intensive purposes,}
   Intents and
   {I think in puns, picked it up centuries ago, moving on;} Did you
"Possess" Donny?  No, he was born that way, and hasn't had all that much
time alone, so he's still more instincts, and memories than a personality
of his own yet.  There's no Id, he knows what to do, dead headded through
high school a lot, but look at him, nobody noticed.} Does come off as a bit
of a stoner.
   How does one go about accidentally possessing someone?  {Oh, I was
planning to wear a rubber, did you swallow all of it?} I think so, sure
tried.  {Yeah, I seem to be all here.  It should still be in his butt
crack.} Ew, you don't have to make me feel it?  {Sorry, he's anal.  Very
anal.} You're planning on putting it in me?  {Not really, I pretty much put
off putting anything in you.  Besides, it's still wrapped.} Oh, that's why
he molested me, instead of raping me.  {That, and the relationship usually
lasts longer if you don't escalate to Rape on the first date.} :) She
winked my eye.  Wait, you're, no, that's.  ?
   {Yeah, sex/gender, you people are just barely starting to scratch the
surface of that multi-axis clusterfuck.  Uh, here.} A shape.  {Yeah?} It
rotated, like 2D4 stuffed through eachother like a star of David.  {The
Kabbalists called it Merkaba.  Humans have the Kinsey scale.} So, looks
like, 1, 2, 3, 4 more dimensions?  {2 and a half, yeah.  Kinsey postulated
a linear scale.  AFAICT it's more like a Tesseract.} ?  {No, "A Wrinkle in
Time" ?  Uh, did you see Interstellar?} More Fantasy than Sci-Fi.
   {Right, why you're talking to a Demon instead of a nano-cloud from the
future.}
   Is there really a god or a devil?  {No, and yes.  Respectively.}
   You know the devil.  {By name, dare not think It because now he's got
control over the field}?{The magnetic field, of the world.  And there's not
much interference out here.  Kind of nice, really.  Quiet.}Glad you like
it.{Yeah, it's like temperate rainforest, but if it were in Europe, you'd
be calling the Fjords Fjords.}
   ;
  
Heros, and Villians