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"Island Paradise: Eternity" - Chapter 35 of 37
--> M/F, F/F and just about everything else
--> Author: HighlanderJM@hotmail.com
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Seated upon the sofa with my legs folded in front of me,
I was hunched over and massaging my aching forehead with a
hand. I found the things which Pamela was saying to me too
painful and overwhelming to comprehend. Somehow, I always
knew that this day - this conversation - was coming. The
writing had always been on the wall, so to speak.
"I'm sorry, Jeremy," Pamela murmured, tears in her eyes.
"I have tried my very best over these past three weeks, but I
just can't do it." She shrugged her shoulders. "I can't do
it. No matter how much I love you, I can't force myself to
live the type of life that you want me to. I just can't..."
Although my heart felt as though it had been ripped from
my chest, I had to speak up and let my feelings be known. I
had to do my best to change her mind.
"Pamela, I love you," were my shaky, emotional words. I
found it difficult to hold back my tears. "You love me. It
just... it doesn't make any sense. We should be TOGETHER.
You make me happy. I make you happy. I don't understand."
"I ca-can't share you!" Pamela fretted in response. "I
can't share you with Devon, Kristanna and Amy!"
I took a deep breath and sighed. Exasperated, I realized
that there was no reason for me to even attempt to persuade
Pamela into changing her mind. It was the same, old story.
She simply could not see herself in a five-way marriage.
No matter how much she and I loved each other, Pamela could
not co-exist with Devon, Kristanna and Amy also in our lives.
The young woman wiped away her tears, but hid her face
from me nonetheless. "If things were different, Jeremy, I
would jump all over the chance at a relationship with you."
She looked up at me, her brown eyes glistening. "You are
everything that I have ever wanted in a man. You're a good
man. You're honest, kind, giving, respectful... you make me
feel special. Not many people have been able to do that for
me in my life." She shook her head and added, "I love you,
Jeremy. I love you to death. But I can't... I can't live
in your world." Sobbing uncontrollably, Pamela then ended,
"I just think that all relationships should be one-on-one..."
I took another deep breath, then frowned. No matter what
I did - or what I said - there was no getting around the
simple fact that Pamela's ideals were vastly different than
mine. Perhaps that was the only thing which she and I did
not see eye-to-eye on because we had so much in common, but
it was obviously something major.
Pamela dabbed her tears with a tissue and offered, "I was
talking with Trish earlier. I told her everything that I am
saying to you right now." Pamela paused and continued, "She
said something to me, Jeremy. Trish knows that I don't want
to get back into stripping. It's the LAST thing I want to do
since the club I worked for put my pictures on the Internet.
But would I have any other choice?"
"Though my family is living there - especially my sister,
Candice - I really don't want to go back to Baltimore. I
have too many bad memories. Trish... Trish wants me to move
to Canada with her." My eyes nearly exploded as Pamela went
on, "It could be a new start for me in life. Trish wants me
to move in and share a condo with her. She doesn't want me
to strip, either. Trish even said that she would give me a
job at the fitness center that she owns and operates. It
would be a clean, honest job. That's what I want."
I hesitated, allowing all of that information to sink in.
Though she was still crying, albeit lesser than before,
Pamela had a smile on her face. The smile was one of hope.
The promise of a new beginning. A chance to start over and
right everything that was wrong.
"What did you tell her?"
"I told her... yes," Pamela answered, starting to cry a
bit harder. She shook her head and momentarily glanced up
at the heavens. "I'm so sorry, Jeremy. I know how much you
wanted this to work out between us. But it can't. It never
will. I want a one-on-one relationship. You can give me
everything else that I ever dreamed of having in life, and
so much more. But the one thing you cannot give me..." Her
voice trailed off. "I'm sor-sorry. I'm so sorry..."
Speechless for the time being, I frowned and simply stared
into space. I loved Pamela. She loved me. The two of us
should be together. It all seemed so simple. But it wasn't.
"And who knows?" Pamela mused, sniffing her nose. "Maybe
Trish and I could make each other happy." I shot Pamela a
glare as she explained, "Trish wants a one-on-one type of
relationship, too. She is still incredibly hurt over what
Lindsay did to her. I'm gonna be hurt over turning you down
like this, Jeremy. I'm hurt right now."
"I think Trish and I could help each other," Pamela added.
"We have the same wants and desires in life. I have so many
things in common with her. Trish is at the point in her life
where she wants to totally devote herself to someone. I am
at that point, too. We've been friends since meeting here
last summer. We even called each other and spoke on the
telephone several times. I... call me crazy, but I think
she and I have the chance at something special together."
"What we have together is special," I softly reminded her.
"Jeremy, this is what _I_ want," Pamela stressed to me.
"I love you and want to be with you, but staying here and
having to share you with the others would do nothing but
make me feel miserable. I get so jealous when I see you
with the others. But not in a bad way. I know that Devon
and Kristanna are your wives, and Amy is soon to follow. I
know that, and I accept it. I wish I was your wife - your
ONLY wife - but I know that will never be."
"Trish could make me happy. Can't you see that, Jeremy?
I have never had one bad feeling about Devon or Kristanna
because they are married to you, and I'm not. I do wish
things were very different, as I said, but I never held any
ill-will against them. Why? Because I love you. I love
you, Jeremy. And as long as you are happy in life, I am
happy, too. That is the way I have always looked at it. I
know how happy Devon and Kristanna make you feel. In fact,
I have always been happy for them, too."
"I realized that long ago," Pamela continued. "If I love
and care for you - which I do - I want you to be happy. I
wish it was with me, but it's not. It never will be. But
knowing that you have Devon and Kristanna, and even Amy, in
your life makes me feel good." She patted her chest and
said, "It warms my heart to know that you are happy, Jeremy,
and very well taken care of. Devon is your angel girl, and
Kristanna worships the ground that you walk on. I see that
just from watching them interact with you. There isn't a
thing that either of them wouldn't do for you."
"You and I can't be together, Jeremy, but I take solace
in the fact that Devon and Kristanna are in your life. I
honestly, truly do. I'm not a selfish or greedy person."
"Pamela, I..."
"No," she cut me off. "Can't you be happy for me, too?
I really like Trish. I always have. What she did for me -
completely out of the blue, I may add - was so incredibly
sweet and thoughtful. She offered me a new chance in life.
This is what I want, Jeremy. I've thought long and hard
about it. Can you be happy for me like I am for you? I
think Trish and I can give each other what we need in life."
"Yes... I can be happy for you." The words were there,
but my heart wasn't. Pamela belonged with ME. I frowned
and added, "What about that school I was building for you in
Baltimore? The one I was going to give you a teaching job
at? It is set to open later this year."
"I don't know, and I'm sorry," Pamela answered, shaking
her head. "I know you put forth a lot of money to help my
dream of one day becoming a teacher come true. But... but
think that the school will do a lot of good, anyway. It
will be for underprivileged and disabled children. You
don't know how much good that will do for the area."
"Do you still want to be a teacher?"
"I'd like to, yes," she replied. "But I don't see how
any school would hire me with my employment background."
I shrugged my shoulders and surmised, "Then I'll just
have a private school built in Toronto for you." Pamela
gasped and looked at me with pure shock as I added, "You
will have a job there once you receive your college degree.
You ARE still going to go to college, right?"
"I am now," Pamela said, new tears forming in her eyes.
"You don't have to do this, Jeremy. You really don't. It
always scared me to think of how much money you invested
in that school in Baltimore. Now you want to do it again?"
"It's for a good cause," I countered, reaching out and
grasping her right hand. I brought that hand to my lips and
kissed it tenderly. "You have wanted to become a teacher
for so long, dear. I am in a position to help you." Pamela
coughed as I concluded, "The school will do a lot of good
for underprivileged and disabled children in Toronto, too."
"Thank y-you, Jer-Jeremy," the 27-year-old quaked, leaning
forward and tossing both arms around me in a warm embrace.
"If you can't be with me, I still want you to be happy."
Unfortunately, I had to FORCE myself to say that. I did
want Pamela to be happy, no doubt. But I knew in my heart
that no one could make her happier than me. No one...
* * *
"Hi Trish," I frowned, perhaps an hour later, stepping
into the guest suite she once shared with Lindsay. Trish
was seated on the floor, packing up all of her suitcases.
She and Pamela were leaving for Toronto in the morning.
"Hi Jeremy," Trish countered, her expression sullen. "I
heard about your talk with Pamela from earlier. I hope that
you don't think I stole Pamela from you. Pamela told me
this morning that there was no way she could stay on the
island and live with you and your wives. Pamela said that
she did not know what to do next. Her only alternative, she
said, was to go back to Maryland and start stripping again.
Pamela told me that she was going to find work at a new club
because her old one had wronged her by publishing a set of
nude photographs of her over the Internet. But at the same
time, Pamela said she did not really want to go back into
stripping. She felt there was no choice for her, though."
"And then you offered... to let her stay with you in
Canada?" I asked, nodding my head. "It's okay, Trish. I
understand. I am not angry or upset at you, either. You
did not STEAL Pamela away from me. You're actually helping
her out a lot, which I appreciate. With or without you,
Pamela would not have stayed with me. I... I realize that."
I took a seat next to Trish upon the floor and offered
her a lazy, half-hearted smile. "You are going to try your
hand at a relationship with Pamela?"
Trish nodded at me. "Yes, I am. I see no reason why we
shouldn't. I guess Pamela already told you about all the
things she and I have in common. We're both into physical
fitness... we like to go out and do things, and be active.
We have the same wants and desires. We're not dating each
other yet, or are we an item. We're just going to go one
step at a time, and take it from there. Pamela is in a lot
of hurt right now. So am I, thanks to Lindsay."
"You and Pamela do make a good-looking couple," I pouted.
Of course, Pamela and whomever she was with - no matter
the person - would make a good-looking couple. She was that
beautiful. On the other hand, the same, exact thing could be
said for Trish. She was nearly as beautiful and enchanting
as Pamela. Thus, Pamela and Trish made a dynamite couple.
"I hope Pamela is the one who makes you happy, Trish," I
said to her. "I know that is all you want and need in life.
You want someone to love you, and actually care about you as
a person. Someone you can devote yourself to. If you have
that, all of your other problems in life would fade away. I
know how important finding someone is to you."
"It is all I have ever wanted," Trish agreed, momentarily
hanging her head. "I thought Lindsay may have been the one
for me." She raised her head and looked me in the eyes. "I
am glad she's not, though. I think Pamela might make me
happier than Lindsay ever could. Pamela and I have so many
things in common. I think it will be a good match."
"You wanted to spend the rest of your life with Lindsay,
but you surely have to admit that the attraction was mostly
physical," I told her. "You and Lindsay were always having
sex. Every time I saw you, you were having sex with her."
"Yeah..." Trish frowned. "And she was pretending that I
was Devon every single time." She shook her head and added,
"Lindsay is the one who wanted to have constant, non-stop
sex with me. I just went along to make her happy. I could
have went on long walks on the beach and held her hand, and
been content with that if that was all she wanted."
I smiled at her. "Without any sex?"
"I just wanted to be with Lindsay. I wanted to be with
her in any possible way that I could. It could have been a
non-sexual relationship, too. I just wanted to be with her,
and make her happy. She wanted the sex. I loved her."
I smiled once again. "I know you did. Perhaps one day,
you and Pamela will have those feelings for one another. If
I cannot have Pamela, my next choice for her would be you.
You, Trish. I know that you have plenty in common with her."
"We're going to take things slow," the voluptuous Canadian
reiterated. "We agreed not to jump head-first into this."
"I can see a life-long relationship between the two of
you," I nodded. "I really can. Pamela is my girl, Trish.
I want you to take care of her for me. She is so special.
Please tell me that you will take care of her."
"I will," she promised.
"You ever need help with anything... just let me know," I
told her. "You already know my e-mail address. Once Devon,
Kristanna, Amy and I move to wherever it is that we move to,
I will be sure to give you and Pamela our telephone number.
Anything you ever need... just ask. I mean that."
"Devon is depressed that I did not choose to stay on the
island with you guys," Trish frowned. "Devon wanted me to
stay just like you wanted Pamela to stay. But at least she
understands why neither of us can stay here."
"You and Pamela want a one-on-one relationship."
"Can I ask you something, Jeremy?" Trish requested. "I
don't want you to take it the wrong way, or anything. The
last thing I want is to offend you."
"You can say anything to me," I countered. "Speak up."
"Do you ever regret marrying Devon so fast?" I moved my
head back, amazed that Trish would ask me such a question.
"It just seems that you were really focused on Pamela these
past few weeks. You want her so bad, but you can't have her
because of your marriage to Devon. Kristanna, too."
"I guess what I am asking is this... if you had to do it
all over again, would you still choose Devon over Pamela?"
Trish hesitated for a moment, gauging my reaction. "You did
tell me to speak up. I hope I didn't offend you..."
"You didn't offend me," I assured her. "I love Pamela
with all of my heart, and I always will. But please... make
no mistake about it - Devon and Kristanna are both number
one in my life. There is no one and two between them. They
are one and one. Pamela may mean the world to me, but Devon
and Kristanna are my universe. That takes nothing away from
Pamela, either. It just means that in my life, there is
Devon and Kristanna... and then there is everyone else. Amy
has yet to crack into that group."
I suddenly got the feeling that Pamela had put Trish up to
asking me if I would still chose Devon over her if I had to
do it all over again. I would most definitely choose Devon.
I would also choose Kristanna over Pamela as well. There was
a reason why I married them, and committed my life to them.
I loved Devon and Kristanna more than life itself.
* * *
A short time later, I was routinely making my way through
the mansion when I came across the usually charming duo of
Amy and Britney in the recreation room. I offered both
ladies a nod and a smile, but what I received in return was
anything but cordial and friendly. In fact, it was shocking.
"HEY!" I exclaimed, after Amy had stormed up to me and
slapped me across the face with an open hand. A violent,
nasty expression was upon her own face as I openly wondered,
"What in the world was that for?"
"How dare you, Jeremy!" Amy roared in response, her eyes
bursting with anger. "HOW DARE YOU!"
"What?" I asked, my hands extended in a shrug. What had
I done to incur her wrath? Never in my life had I saw Amy
act so aggressive and violent before. Wasn't she supposed
to be my submissive? I thought so...
"Britney and I came across that secret area you have
hidden behind the wall inside your bedroom!" Oh God, I said
to myself. Not the voyeur room...
"The wall was a quarter of the way open and we managed to
slip inside!" Absolutely fuming with anger, Amy glanced at
Britney for an instant and asked, "What did we see in there?"
Britney offered me a look of total shame. "Video screens
and DVDs... all over the place."
"YOU'VE BEEN SPYING ON US!" Amy exploded, making two fists
and pounding my shoulders with them. "YOU HAVE CAMERAS HID
ALL OVER THE PLACE! HOW DARE YOU, JEREMY! _HOW DARE YOU_!"
Britney shook her head at me. "One of the DVD discs had
my name on it, along with `schoolgirl', and `February 26'.
We popped it into the DVD player. You know what was on it,
Jeremy. It was video of when I dressed up for you, and had
sex with you. You videotape every little movement we make
on the island." She shook her head once more. "I cannot
believe this, Jeremy. I'm so ashamed of you."
"Girls..." I stammered out, completely dumbfounded. "If
you j-just let me explain..."
"You've been broadcasting us over the fucking Internet
since last year!" Amy hissed. "Never in my wildest dreams
did I think that YOU - of ALL people - would stoop so low!"
Amy slapped me across the face again. "HOW DARE YOU! You
are a MILLION TIMES WORSE than any single person that I have
ever met in my LIFE! I have met some REAL SCUM, too. But
you take the cake, Jeremy! You take the FUCKING CAKE!"
"Wait until I tell Devon and Kristanna of your nasty,
little secret!" Amy added, growling. "I CAN'T WAIT TO TELL
PAMELA!" I shook my head as Amy roared, "Pamela thinks you
are some patron saint, Jeremy! You're a low-class pervert!
WAIT UNTIL SHE FINDS OUT ABOUT YOU SPYING ON US!"
"Amy!" I exclaimed, upset. "I did NOT put _ANYTHING_ of
you or the others on the Internet! I would NEVER do..."
My words were interrupted as Amy grabbed a nearby flower
vase made of glass, then cracked the side of my head with it.
Not only did the vase shatter into a million pieces, but
I immediately fell to the floor in a crumpled, disoriented
heap. Everything was suddenly blurry, and things seemed
warped. Amy was again yelling at me, but I couldn't make
out a word she said. In fact, I couldn't even hear her.
I tried to sit up, but my body was not responding. I
then realized that I was bleeding from the head. I could
do nothing to defend myself as Amy straddled my chest and
began to choke me with both hands in a mad, violent rage.
My senses were spiraling out of control, but I remember
Devon and Kristanna literally bursting through the door of
the recreation room. Both of them screamed at Amy, and
then Kristanna grabbed her, and yanked her off of me.
I'm not sure, but I think Amy threw a punch at Kristanna.
Whatever the case, Kristanna did one of her martial arts
take-down maneuvers and held Amy in place. She screamed at
Amy again, but I still could not hear anything. My head was
pounding... it hurt so bad. Kristanna pointed toward the
door and, I believe, demanded that Amy leave. She made sure
that Britney departed right along with her. Even with the
use of just one arm, Kristanna was totally in charge.
The next thing I remember was Devon dropping to her knees
beside me. Crying, she said something - but I don't know
what. Devon barely touched the side of my head. Her hand
was red from all the blood an instant later.
Kristanna was soon on the other side of me. She held her
left hand to her mouth and looked at me with an even mixture
of fright and shock upon her face. I must have been really
bad off. Kristanna yelled something at Devon, who then got
up and raced over to the telephone.
My head hurt so much. I had never experienced something
like this before. It was like I was in a sink of water,
circling a drain - or something. I wanted to...
Everything suddenly went dark.
<<<- End of Part 35 ->>>
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