Second Chances--Part 1--Sunday (Prelude, M solo)
Second Chances--Part 1 (M solo)

"I don't know that this was such a great idea, Emily," complained the middle-aged man into his cell phone.  "I know I had to take vacation time, but cruising just doesn't seem like a good fit for a guy travelling alone."
"Oh stop worrying, Dad.  I'm sure there are lots of other singles on board.  Make sure you go to activities and stuff. This is one place where it's OK to talk to strangers." 
"Yeah, yeah.  It's easy for you kids. Seems like a random 'hook-up' is no big deal. But I just feel really intimidated about the idea of dating right now."
"Oh Dad.  Don't look at it that way!  Just relax, have fun, have a few drinks, go with the flow.  No pressure. No expectations."
"Well I definitely have the 'no expectations' thing down right now." 
"Listen Dad--you are a 'Catch'.  Single, no child support, financially secure--the fittest 45 year old I know.  So act like it! And have fun. I love you."
"I love you too...  So what if I do catch someone?  Then what?"
"Do what comes naturally. Go with the flow. And don't think I want to hear the details!"
"You got that right--MY little girl would never..."
"Alright Dad, you're cracking me up now."  He knew full well that she was no innocent--hadn't been since she was 16--but it was a game they played.  "What happens on that ship can stay on the ship.  So don't pass up a chance.  Bye now!"
"Bye".  He ended the call and looked around the stateroom.  A modest window offered a view of the roof of the cruise terminal.  Well, that would change once they were underway.  The rest was clean and tidy, just as his life had been since Deb died that morning 2 years ago. Nothing to interrupt the routine of work and sleep.    Well, and workouts.  He sighed.  He was lonelier now.  The driven activity of the past two years had hidden the pain and disappointment away, but deprived him of a social life.  It didn't make much sense to him that he'd find that by going away from home, among strangers.  His boss had insisted he use the accrued vacation time though, and Emily had encouraged the cruise--said she'd had a good time on one last year--but she was 24.  It would be a little different for a man nearly a quarter century older, surely.
There was a quiet knock on the door as Jose, the Filipino steward, delivered his suitcase.  "Have you had lunch yet, Mr. Brian?  Can I help you find anything?"
"No, thanks Jose, but do you know what the activity schedule is for the sailaway tonight?"
"I was just delivering these--I leave a daily newsletter every evening.  What kind of activities are you looking for?"
"Don't know really...but I'm travelling alone.  Is there something for meeting other singles?"
"Of course!  Right away after lifeboat drill. Adult pool area reserved for Solo cruisers, and there is free drink.  And after dinner there is game show for singles in Club Room.  Maybe you meet someone there?"
"Maybe..."  But not bloody likely, he thought to himself. 
Jose moved on and Brian set himself to neatly unpack into the drawers.  Still a lot of empty space left in a cabin designed for 2, even 4 with the fold down berths.  He sighed and changed into his modest swim trunks, a t-shirt, and flip flops.  Maybe he'd check out the pool deck until they were paged for the mandatory lifeboat drill.  On his way there, he was pleased to see a well-furnished fitness center.  At least he wouldn't have to let that go. The pool deck was getting busy. A reggae band was playing, some folks were dancing, waiters were already doing brisk business moving celebratory beverages.  There seemed to be a lot of competition for the lounge chairs near the pool and in the sun, but that wasn't very appealing anyway.  He noticed that one of the two pools was marked "Adults only",  though there weren't a lot of kids in the other one at that moment.  Then again, it really wasn't a peak school vacation time, so maybe there weren't that many on board to begin with. There was a largish college-aged contingent clustering around one hot tub.  They seemed to know each other pretty well, or maybe they were just already well on their way to inebriation.  It was tempting to want to get closer looks at the young ladies in their tiny swimsuits, but he didn't think that starting things out as the leering Dirty Old Man would get him very far.  He should know better than to think about that anyway.  My god, they would be younger than Emily!  He was sure that wasn't what she had in mind when she'd said "talk to strangers".  He waved down a waiter, purchased a mojito, and climbed into the quieter jacuzzi on the other side of the adult pool.  At least he still had a view...
"Oh hello. Are you travelling alone, too?"  A rather matronly middle-aged lady greeted him from across the bubbling foam.  "I'm Judy Branch.  This is my neighbor Ann and her husband Greg.  We're with the charter group from Avonlea.  I'm sure you've heard of our sales opportunities for earning extra income..."
"Brian Reynolds", he replied, while making mental notes to definitely steer clear.  Two other thirty-somethings, apparently single women, soon joined them in the tub, excitedly meeting their fellow Avonlea Associates.  Even though they repeatedly reminded each other not to talk business, every conversation seemed to turn to sales conquests, incentives won, "associates" recruited to the never-ending pyramid scheme.  A neighbor had tried to pull him in once, but he had at least had the good sense to politely quit recruiting and be content with the occasional order of spices and cleaning products.  This group though, well, they probably hadn't earned the cruise incentive by backing off in recruitment.  He was relieved to hear the warning claxon and announcement for the emergency drill.  After listening disinterestedly to the presentation, he considered his options.  He still hadn't eaten, so he browsed the buffet, and wandered the ship.  He ended up back on the pool deck, where an assistant cruise director was attempting to stir up social networking around the adult pool.  He watched from a distance as some sort of summer camp game was being played by adults.  Sheesh...did Emily really think he would go for that?  He realized with a mix of amusement and horror that Judy Branch, the two Thirty-somethings, and a bunch of other Avonlea types were participating enthusiastically.  Lord--they probably just saw this as another sales rally!  Shaking his head, he edged over toward the bar to accept his free drink, a watered-down rum punch.  Judy saw him and beckoned to him, but he just lifted his glass in greeting and pretended to know someone at the far end of the bar.  He tried engaging in conversation with one rather flustered young man who uncertainly stuttered through an introduction.  Well at least there was one person more socially awkward than he on board.  He tried putting the fellow at ease by asking questions, and did manage to learn that he was travelling with family for a sibling's destination wedding, but the poor dude was too easily distracted by the flock of attractive bikini-clad college girls at the nearby hot tub.  At least that group looked they were having an unforced good time.  Awkward Dude excused himself for a dinner reservation with his family, and Brian turned to the bartender to order something stronger.  He wouldn't mind paying if it kept him away from the games.
"Oh there you are, Brian." chimed an unnaturally musical voice.  God Help Me, he muttered.  "I'm good at remembering names, you see.  Avonlea trains us in those kinds of things, you know.  All I had to do was remember a picture.  For you it's a brain wrapped in aluminum foil..."Brain, ummm, Saran wrap---association--Brian Sanders.  See?  Just one of the many benefits of Avonlea...."  Oh good lord how was he going to get away?  Was it too late to swim back to shore?
Just then, there was a bump on his shoulder, and the remainder of his rum punch sloshed over his shirt. 
"Oh no!  Excuse me!  I'm SO sorry!  I just lost my footing and..."
He looked up into a pair of bright blue eyes, widened with fright.  The girl was no older than Emily.  Pretty, in a wholesome way.  His first emotion on seeing her was paternal, wanting to reassure and soothe her upset. "No problem, miss.  I wasn't liking it that much anyway, and look--here comes its replacement!"  His bartender handed over the double Bacardi coke and he signed for it.  Looking back at the girl, he gently extended his hand.  "I'm Brian.  Brian REYNOLDS," he emphasized with a glance at the embarrassed Ms. Branch, who suddenly pretended to see a friend and excused herself.
"Renae. um, Weaver. I'm here with my sorority, from Ohio State," she said, tilting her head toward the busy hot tub.  Something about her didn't quite fit his image of a sorority girl.  She was just a little bit chubbier--only a bit though--and her swimsuit, though nicely fitting, was modest. That, her average figure, and sandy hair seemed to denote a young woman intending to blend into the crowd, not stand out from it.
"Oh, well thank God I'm not from Michigan.  I am a Badger, though, from Madison, well, a few years ago.  I work in Minneapolis now."
"Nice to meet you.  Again, sorry about the spill..."
"Nice to meet you. And again, no problem."  He lowered his voice.  "In fact, you extricated me from a conversation I was dying to get out of.  So I owe you.  Can I buy a round of beers for your gang over there?  The ones over 21 at least?"
Renae cracked a smile.  "Well, that is most of us, actually.  We're pretty much all seniors, well, and a couple of grad students.  I'm working on my MBA right now, in marketing."
"Impressive.  About ready to do the job search, then?  Just a word of advice--don't say ANYTHING about marketing too loudly on this cruise.  You'll be hounded into an Avonlea franchise before you reach the next port!"
She laughed.  "Oh so that's what that was about.  Then I HAVE saved you from a fate worse than death!  And I will let you buy us a round".  Her grin brought out a perfectly matched pair of dimples on her cheeks, and her eyes glinted in laughter. He chuckled along and sipped on his rum and coke, trying to ignore the little butterflies that had just sprung to life in his stomach. He ordered two ice buckets of bottled beers--refreshing swill, he thought, but he figured the recipients wouldn't be picky, and went with Renae to meet them.  The offering of beer was met enthusiastically, and Brian quickly found himself wedged into the Jacuzzi between Renae and a buxom blonde named Stephanie, who he soon learned was Renae's roommate on campus as well as cabinmate for the cruise.  Stephanie made more room for him by climbing onto the lap of a young man named Phil, who was obviously already on very familiar terms with her, based on his hand placement.  "I may not be getting much sleep tonight, the way this is looking," whispered Renae in his ear.  He nodded understanding, as his brain recited state capitals to itself in a vain effort to distract from the sudden rush of blood to his groin.  There was just something about a pretty girl's breath on one's ear...well, especially paired with the brush of a breast against his arm.  He introduced himself further around the tub, meeting a half dozen young ladies, a couple of boyfriends, and in particular, one sullen young man named Will--the only person who seemed put out by the gift of beer.  Will quickly excused himself to go for food, giving a last glare of disapproval in Renae's direction.
"Mind sharing what that's about?"
"Oh it's pretty obvious...we broke up about 3 months ago, and he kind of resents the fact that I still chose to come on this cruise in spite of that.  But these are my friends, my roommate--and just because it isn't going to be the cabin-swapping fuckfest he had in mind 6 months ago, doesn't mean I have to stay home!  I'm sure he's still hoping I'll get drunk enough to relent, especially if Phil ends up in Steph's bed--as I'm sure he will.  But it would take a hell of a lot to get me back with him...so it isn't happening.  I imagine he'll find someone to screw before the week's out, though.  God help her..."
"OK then,"  Brian sat back and relaxed with his drink, watching the variety of interactions around the tub.  Some of it was obvious courtship behavior, with displays of male dominance and female receptiveness.  Some was just kids out to have a good time.  Through it all, Renae made no effort to leave his side, even when the crowd thinned out. 
Phil and Stephanie left with a wink in Renae's direction, and she gave a sigh.  "Well, I suppose I'll need to avoid the cabin for an hour or so.  Is there a place to eat where I can go in my swim suit?"
"Sure--the buffet's very casual. And it looked like they had some good stuff beyond the burgers at the sailaway BBQ.  Want to come check it out with me?"
"OK--but isn't anyone else expecting you?"
"Nope. Totally solo.  My daughter sent me out on this cruise because she thinks I'm working too hard.  She's right.  But I don't remember how to have fun, so it will be interesting."
"Well you can always hang with us--it's a pretty accepting group.  How old is your daughter?  A teenager yet?"
"24, actually."
"Oh!"  She looked surprised. "How'd you end up with a daughter older than me?  Did you go through puberty at 10?"
He laughed.  "Well how old do you think I am?  Never mind, don't answer.  I'm 45. And glad someone thinks I look younger. So you're, what? 23?"
"Well...22.  And a half."  She looked disappointed for some reason. 
"Well.  Enjoy being young while it lasts...  I always worry that I made Emily grow up too fast.  She's had to take care of a lot of things for me since her mom died 2 years ago..."
"I'm sorry...."  Her face clouded.  "Was it like...cancer or something?"
"Brain hemorrhage.  Aneurysm burst.  Quick. Unexpected."  Now Renae looked like she was about to cry.  He wasn't going to let it go there.  "So I kind of threw myself into work, and Emily decided I needed to nip it in the bud and make a change this year.  So here I am.  Probably all you need to know about me. Tell me about yourself."
"Oh, I'm sure there's more...but well, me?  Just a small town girl, middle child with 2 brothers. Folks live in Indiana. Now I have a sister in law and a nephew, too, but they're in Germany right now.  Ryan's in the Air Force.  Ricky's a senior in high school.  Mom was a Delta Gamma at OSU years ago, so I got in as a legacy.  It's been OK.  I got my BS in 3 years and was able to move on to grad school this year, and I guess the rest of the girls respect that.  I mean some are kind of flaky, you can see, but they're good to one another, and that's what counts..." 
"That's good. I mean with Emily, my biggest concern for her going away to school was that she'd have friends.  And then when Deb died, they really rallied around her.  I mean, that's why I needed her--I didn't have much outside of work, so she was the one who kept me grounded.  So hey--are we going to eat or sit around talking about heavy stuff?"
Renae smiled. The warmth of her expression practically stabbed him in the heart.  "Heavy's OK, you know. But yeah, I could eat."  She climbed out of the tub and sought out her towel.  She had a cute little butt, he thought to himself.  He delayed himself to make sure he wasn't showing any of the arousal he'd felt earlier and followed.  The conversation at the buffet was light--she wanted to know about his work.  He apologized that as an engineer he didn't know much about marketing strategies, and in fact actively avoided them.  They talked about her father's farm supply business, small town values, loyalty, family and friendship.  She was a very well grounded young woman, and he was growing more and more impressed with her maturity, and well, vitality.  She got him to talk about the Twin Cities, what few hobbies he had, the Marathon he ran last fall.  After dinner she gave him a quick hug, a 'See ya around', and excused herself.  She was going to get dressed, assuming she could get back in her cabin, and join her friends dancing in the nightclub.  He decided to bow out of that.  He went back to his cabin, but didn't want to sit around watching TV, so he changed into khakis and a polo to wander the ship for awhile.  He found the casino, played a few hands of blackjack, and quit when he broke even. It was only 10:00 or so, just seemed too early to turn in when there was so much on board, but he wasn't so much the partying type.  Finally, he found a quiet bar, ordered a Manhattan, and sat back to watch.  Not so many young folks here, the music was soft and slow.  A few scattered couples were romancing, which brought him twinges of regret, but before long another solitary male pulled up and ordered a shot.  Someone to talk to, anyway.  "You cruising solo, too?"
"Nah--couldn't sleep.  I never can on these things.  The wife turned in early, but I don't like the small rooms, the rocking--especially the first night.  We keep doing it though.  Gets us outta the house, breaks up the routine."  He grinned.  "Besides that, she lets loose and gets a bit more frisky, if ya know what I mean..."
Brian nodded and faked a knowing smile, though truthfully, he regretted that he and Deb hadn't shared the same passion.  In fact, over the last four or five years of her life, they'd been growing apart.  Once Emily was raised and off to college, she'd had little interest in him, or in sex, or even romance.  They'd been barely more than roommates in the final year.  He still felt guilty that he'd been so dismissive of her headache the night before she died. It had probably been the start of her fatal hemorrhage, not just another ploy to avoid sex with him. But then again, from what he'd read since, there probably wouldn't have been a much better outcome even if he had known.  He sighed, drained his drink and ordered another. To her. He offered a second round to his companion, which was accepted, and they toasted the cruise. The alcohol made both gentlemen more social, and they flirted together with a cute red-haired bartender named Allison, who expertly parried their banter.  Brian actually found himself asking her when her shift was ending, but was turned down with a smile and brief explanation of the ship's "No Fraternization" policy.  Besides, she added, she was in a relationship with her manager, and well, she whispered, he could get them banned from the bars for the rest of the cruise.  Bad for business.  She remained friendly though, and was nice to look at, and the drink was making him feel warm inside, so he accepted the reciprocated third round offered by his friend.  Allison showed them a list of events for tomorrow--her boyfriend was doing a series of tastings:  wine, beers, margaritas, martinis....  He took a copy of the schedule, hoping he'd be sober enough to start drinking again by then.  The feelings of warmth were now giving way to drowsiness, and he excused himself for the night.  In the cabin he found the bed turned down, and a towel folded into the shape of a bunny seated on his pillow.  He tossed aside his clothes and flopped down into sleep.

It must have been about 3 or 4 in the morning when he woke, urgently needing to pee.  The ship was rolling a bit more as they had entered open ocean. He staggered into the bathroom to relieve himself, and bounced off the wall in his attempt to get back to bed.  His new friend in the bar hadn't been kidding about the rocking. He laughed to himself at the double entendres--"If the cabin's rocking, don't bother knocking...", "It's not the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean".  He wondered if his friend was getting any at that moment, or what Allison and her boyfriend might be doing, and whether Stephanie had exhausted Phil's libido yet.  And Renae... He sighed.  She'd probably found a nice hookup in the club.  He certainly hoped that it wasn't that Will guy.  No, actually, she didn't seem the type to do a random hookup, or to back down to a desperate ex.  His piss hard-on was still there, and thinking about other people fucking--well, a good jack-off always helped with sleep.  He stripped off his briefs--no reason he couldn't sleep naked in his own room--and started touching himself.  He briefly visualized making love with Deb, but there was too much regret there for it to be pleasurable.  Allison...he imagined her cute face sucking at his stiffening cock.  He ran a finger up and down his shaft, imagining soft lips and tongue. It wouldn't be long. The gentle stroking was having its effect now, his erection was full, his balls tightening under his other hand.  Thighs and abs tensed. The girl sucking his cock now moved over and astride him.  Her pussy enveloped him.  He gripped the base of his cock tightly with his left hand as he stroked harder with the right.  His scrotum tightened.  He felt the cum rising in his groin and..."UNNNGH".  He let himself groan loudly as it shot out of him.  A first droplet splashed below his chin, and he felt the rest of the hot thick liquid spurt onto his belly. Waves of goosebumps flowed outward from his cock, as he stroked through the powerful spasms radiating down his legs and up his spine. He sighed, imagining his partner moaning above him, his lips reaching out to her hovering breasts, calling her name softly..."Renae...," he moaned.  Oh God.  The final drops of his load oozed out over his encircling thumb.  Renae. Why her?  He found the folded rabbit and shook it out into a towel, wiped the cum from his chest and stomach, and left it draped over his softening cock.  His body floated in post-orgasmic bliss as he remembered her warm smile and laughing eyes.  The ocean's rocking now soothed him into sleep, where he dreamed of youth and innocence.