REWIND
CHAPTER EIGHT
“I KNOW WE HAD TO TRY, TO REACH UP AND TOUCH THE SKY BABY, WHATEVER HAPPENED TO YOU AND I?”

APRIL 19th, 1979

I got a phone call. “Hello?” I said.

“Well, I hear you’re putting that tongue to good use!” the laughing voice on the other side of the phone said. It was Kara.

I laughed back. “I take it you’ve been talking to Kelly.”

“Of course. I always talk to Kelly.”

“Well, of course you do, but you have to admit, this is strange. My girlfriend talking to my ex-girlfriend about our sex life!”

“I am far more than a mere ex-girlfriend,” she sniffed. “I’m Kelly’s best friend and one of yours.”

“Yes, but, you know what I mean.”

“Yeah, true,” she giggled. “You’ll just have to get used to it.”

“I know. It’s fine, really. It’s just a little weird.”

“OK, I guess it is. But that’s just us. Let’s face it, we had the most amicable breakup in the history of romance.”

“That much is true,” I agreed.

“Anyhow, Eddie, I do have to warn you.”

“Warn me?”

“Yes,” she said, and then laughed. “You flipped a switch yesterday. Big time. You now have one extremely horny girlfriend on your hands.”

“Figured that one out all by my lonesome,” I told her. She cracked up at that. “Of course, I’ve been there before,” I teased.

“I wasn’t as bad as Kelly is. I was bad, but not that bad.” She sighed. “Of course, you satisfied it. Unlike some other people.”

“Uh-oh. Trouble in paradise?”

She sighed again, deeper this time. “Dave’s a hell of a nice guy. He treats me as well as you did, and miles better than Jim ever did. But the sex is just OK. He’s never done that--you know, with his mouth.”

“Have you asked?”

She seemed surprised at that question. “Well, no. Should I?”

“Why not?”

“Well, you just did it.”

“Let me ask you a question--is Dave very experienced?”

“No, not at all,” she said, confirming my suspicions. “In fact, I was his first.”

“Was he awkward and hesitant and stuff?”

“Some, yeah. Now that you mention it, yeah.”

“Well, there you go. Listen, Kara, going down on a girl is rather intimate. It’s also, I guess, scary. If a guy doesn’t know what he’s getting into, he might be hesitant to try. But if you ask, that’s different. Have you ever given him a blowjob?”

“Yeah, a couple of times.”

“Well, the next time you do, just ask him if he’ll return the favor.”

“Hmmm,” she mused. “I guess I’m just surprised. Especially since, as I said, I never had to ask you. You just did it.”

“I’m not normal,” I laughed.

“Too true,” she teased back.

“You just shut up. What I meant was that my upbringing isn’t all that normal. This is a pretty open house, especially where my dad is concerned. You don’t think he knows I read all those Playboys and Penthouses he leaves lying around? Of course he does. I can also ask him anything. I knew you’d like it if I went down on you. And I knew the taste wasn’t going to gross me out or anything like that, because I’d read about it. Dave might not know all that.”

“Good point,” she agreed. “Now I just have to get up the gumption to bring it up to him.”

“Like I said, after you blow him. When he’s all post-orgasmic and happy and shit; that’s when you spring it on him.”

“Good plan,” she laughed.

APRIL 20th, 1979

I needed money.

Look, I had sporting events I knew the outcome to, and stocks that I knew would make me some money. But I needed money to do those things. 

The paper route just wasn’t cutting it. I needed a job.

However, I didn’t want some of the crummy jobs I’d had the first time. I was only 14 so I was limited in what I could do. I’d worked at a donut shop as a clean-up guy. I worked on a mural in a playground (painting was not my thing.) Later on, when I was 16, I worked in a supermarket as a bagger. They all sucked. 

So, I came up with an idea. “Hey, Dad?” I said to him as we were sitting around this night. “The business is going really well, isn’t it?”

“Very well. I just hired another guy.” Preventing The Eye had done a lot for our financial situation. Dad was doing well.

“Mom does your books, doesn’t she?”

“Yes, but it’s become a struggle since she went full time.” Mom had been working part time at the hospital, but had just taken a full-time position. “She has too much to do.” He grinned at me. “You could help her out by doing more around the house.”

“I’m sure I could,” I grinned back, “but I have a better idea.”

“Of course you do.”

“Seriously. You’re bringing in enough to hire someone to do the books.”

“Sure, but I’m not entirely comfortable with that. I do everything on the up-and-up, but I’d still prefer to keep it in the family.”

“Right. So hire me. I need a job. I figure, to do it right, it’s about twenty hours a week. That’d be fine for me--I could do the books, send out your bills, all that. I need to make some money and I don’t want to go work at McDonald’s or something else crappy.”

He thought for a minute. “You think you could do it?”

“Sure. I’m good at math. I know the basics of bookkeeping, Mom explained them to me. She’d just have to train me a little as to how your books are set up. I could do it without a problem. And I could be flexible with the hours as long as I get them done every week, which works for me being in school.”

He thought for another minute, and said, “You know, that’s a hell of an idea. If you can do them, it’s a hell of an idea. Let me discuss it with your mother.”

“Sure.”

Mom agreed, and quickly arranged to show me the ropes. I think she was glad to get them off her hands! Dad gave me a fair wage, and I started doing his books for him. I enjoyed it. It was much less mindless than most jobs for teenagers. Hell, it was less mindless than what I had been doing in my adult life! And I sure enjoyed the money!

APRIL 29th, 1979

Money was something I needed right about then. I had a gift to buy.

It was, you see, Beth’s fifteenth birthday.

I got her a pendant. It was a gold heart on a gold chain, and the heart was engraved “Beffy.” Yes, Kelly knew about it; in fact, she’d gone with me to get it. Imagine that--going with your boyfriend to pick out a piece of jewelry for another girl! But Kelly was remarkably not jealous, plus she knew why I’d do something like this for Beth.

So, today, we went over Beth’s house, my mother and I.  When she opened it, she squealed--and wrapped me in a bear hug.

“You are the best friend in the world!”

Damn, that made me feel good!

JUNE 5th, 1979

Michelle had a new boyfriend. And it wasn’t Stan.

It was this guy named Mike Richardson, who I knew slightly. He seemed like a nice guy. Michelle was happy. They’d started going out a few weeks ago. 

But Stan had blown it, and he knew it. We ate lunch once the previous week and he was disconsolate. “Why the hell didn’t I ask her out when I had the chance?” he moaned.

“Don’t look at me--I told you to,” I said.

“I know you did. Damn, I feel like such an idiot.”

On this day, the fifth, Kelly wasn’t in school (she had a flu bug--I went to her house after school and nursed her for a bit!). Michelle’s boyfriend had something to do during lunch. So, Michelle pulled me aside and asked to eat lunch with me. We found a side table.

“Stan hates me, doesn’t he?” Michelle asked.

“Honestly, Michelle, I think he hates himself more.”

She sighed. “Eddie, he dithered around so much that I thought maybe I was wrong, that he didn’t like me. So, when Mike asked me out, I said yes. And now Stan looks like I slapped him in the face. I feel horrible.”

“Look, Michelle, it’s Stan’s own fault and he knows it. He’s never said anything bad to me about you. On the contrary, it’s all about what an idiot he was.” 

“Oh. Well, that makes me feel less guilty, anyhow. I just, I don’t know...I really like Mike, but I miss being friends with Stan. He won’t even talk to me now, really.”

“He’s ashamed, and pissed at himself.”

“I know. I don’t know what to do about it.”

“It’s not your problem, Michelle, it’s his,” I maintained. “He knows that.”

“He was one of my best friends. I want that back. I just--well, Mike’s a nice guy and I was sick of being alone.”

“I know. Look, I’ll see what I can do, OK?”

“Thanks.”

That night I called Stan on the phone. “I saw you eating with Michelle,” he said. “What did she want?”

“She wanted to know how you were,” I said.

He snorted. “She cares?”

“Of course she does, Stan, you big idiot. She thought you were mad at her. I told her you were madder at yourself.”

“That much is true,” he agreed.

“She misses your friendship.”

“How the hell can I be friends with her knowing my stupidity is why she’s with another guy?”

“I’ll tell you how,” I said. “You just do it. Because it’s not going to last. Mark my words, Michelle and Mike aren’t going to last. Now, understand, she didn’t tell me this. She tells me how much she likes him. Let’s just say I’m reading between the lines. Be her friend, Stan. Opportunity is going to come around again.”

“You think?”

“I do. Stan, you’re what, almost 15? We’re not even in high school yet? Be her friend for now. Trust me.”

“Easy for you to say, mister three-girlfriends-in-a-year,” he laughed.

“I know,” I agreed, “but that’s part of why I’m telling you this. Remember, Kelly’s liked me all along, and I was going out with her best friend. She bided her time and when I was free--as she knew I would be sooner or later--she moved in. Get me?”

“Oooh, good point.”

JUNE 12th, 1979

He put my advice into action right away. He sat right with us at lunch the next day, greeting Michelle with a cheery, “Hi, Sarge. How’s that short-skirt-with-fishnets outfit coming?” Michelle was delighted.

Mike, her new boyfriend, was not. Like I said, I’d thought he was a nice guy though I didn’t know him well. Now, his snarky side reared its ugly head. He saw Stan as a threat, and subtly tried to belittle him.

I have no doubt he would’ve tried to do the same to me, based on Michelle’s close friendship with me, if it weren’t for Kelly. The way Kelly and I mooned over one another made it quite clear that I was not available. Then again, I would’ve been harder to belittle than Stan was. Mike instantly veered onto Stan’s main weakness--his insecurity concerning his intelligence as compared to Michelle’s. Mike was almost as smart as Michelle was. Book-smart, I mean. Stan was smarter in other ways. But sometimes he couldn’t see that--if he had, he would’ve actually asked Michelle out--and Mike preyed on that.

On this day, I decided defensive measures were in order. Stan plopped down at lunch and said, “Man, am I glad that school is almost done for the year!”

Mike piped up with, “Yeah, if I were you, I’d be glad, too. I’m sure this place strains your brain to the max. You’ll be able to rest it all summer.”

Stan didn’t look happy. Neither, for that matter, did Michelle. Before either of them could say anything, however, I steered the conversation. “Nah, he won’t be able to rest his brain. He’ll spend the whole summer learning new songs on the guitar, if I know him.”

“Yup,” Stan agreed, relieved. “Oh, did I tell you? I almost got Born To Run down. Got the whole main body of the song. The solo’s a bitch, though.

“That it is,” I agreed. “This is why I play rhythm.”

“Good thing you don’t play bass,” Michelle interjected, picking right up on the change in conversation. “The bass part to that song is no prize. Especially the middle section--the ‘Beyond the valley, hemi-powered drones’ part. I’ve finally learned it, more or less.”

“Oh, I know, the bass jumps all over the place at that part,” I agreed.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Mike said.

“Guitars,” Michelle answered sweetly. “Stan and Eddie both play guitar. I play bass guitar.”

“You WHAT?” he blurted.

“I never told you that? Yeah, I took up bass last summer. I’m still learning it. I’d like to play in a band someday.” Mike looked sour at that. “Anyhow, Eddie, since you turned me on to the Beach Boys--jeez. I’ve tried the bass line to Wouldn’t It Be Nice for three months. That one is brutal.”

“Yes, it is,” I agreed. The three of us went on for a while like that. Poor Mike was fuming!

When I talked to Stan later, I said something. “Hang in there.”

“I’ll try. Thanks for the save today. I wanted to punch him.”

“I know. But did you see how Michelle went right with it?”

“Yes, I did,” he said with a huge grin.

I was glad to help. Stan didn’t deserve to be belittled. And Mike was certainly showing a nasty streak lately, while Stan was just being a good friend. I wondered how long it would take for Michelle to figure stuff out.

JUNE 16th, 1979

I didn’t have any such worries with my own love life, thankfully. I was with who I wanted to be with, and everything was great. I was about to leave 9th grade behind and head to high school with Kelly. Beth was still here, still my best friend. I was making decent money working for my Dad. Life was fine.

On this day, Saturday the sixteenth, it got even better.

Kelly and I hadn’t been frightened away by nearly getting caught back in April. We still went up to Braddox Hill. This time, however, we found a place up the top that was a bit more isolated, more back in the trees. We had to bring a blanket back there--it was more dirt than grass--but that was OK. 

We’d gone up there as much as possible in the past two months, and had settled into an anything-but physical relationship. Believe me, I was not complaining. It was wonderful.

I didn’t get much into comparisons, and sex with Kara had been fantastic, but Kelly was the most sexually responsive person I’d ever been with, in either life. I mean, she got aroused at the drop of a hat; and while she didn’t orgasm on a hair-trigger, it was close. Like I said, I guessed it was all part of that zest for life thing. 

That translated into everything physical. She kissed like a banshee. The blowjobs she gave me were completely beyond describing; she blew me like the fate of the universe depended on her extracting my sperm from my dick. But, without being rough at all. Like I said, tough to describe!

And when I did anything to her? My goodness. One thing I had found out shortly after that day in April when we had first explored was that she was one of those rare women--and the only one I’d ever been with--that could orgasm just from tittie play. Just little ones, she told me, but still. She said that they were nice little appetizers. She called them boob-gasms, which cracked me up. She said that any time I gave her a boob-gasm, the actual orgasms were particularly explosive. 

So, despite the fact that we hadn’t had intercourse, our sex life was exceptional. I loved every minute of it, and so did she.

Going all the way had actually been left unspoken. She knew I’d done it. I knew she wasn’t ready. So, the unspoken agreement was that she had to tell me when she was ready. Until then I was perfectly, completely satisfied with what we did.

One thing that I wondered was whether or not she was worried she’d be disappointed. Look, I know she talked to Kara. And I know Kara loved fucking. However, I also knew that when she talked about it to Kelly what she raved about was “Eddie’s fantabulous tongue.” And Kelly certainly had already experienced that. I wondered if she worried that intercourse would be a let-down. 

Quite honestly, I worried about it, too. Kel was a virgin. I’d never had a ‘deflowering’ experience in the first life, so the only virginities I had gotten were the two this time, Kara’s and Christine’s. Kara’s was fantastic. Chris’s was a disaster. And Kara hadn’t had a hymen. I wondered if that made a difference. Kelly did have a hymen--I’d gotten my finger right at the entrance to her pussy and she definitely had a hymen. So, I worried about it a little. And, I couldn’t deny the truth--a blowjob from Kelly was better than any actual sex I’d ever had, in either life, with the possible exception of Kara. Staying right where we were was OK with me.

However, it turns out it wasn’t OK with Kelly. This was the day. We got up to Braddox Hill, spread our blanket out on ‘our spot’, and commenced to disrobing, kissing, and fondling. It was in the middle of some beginning stages workup fondling that she said it. “I’m ready.” I pulled away from her neck--which I had been nibbling on--and looked her in the eyes. “I’m ready,” she repeated. “I want you to make love to me.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. I certainly am. I’ve been building up to this for a while. Just, you know, work me up first, OK?”

“Of course,” I smiled, and went back to rubbing her boobs and nibbling on her neck. She sighed. I only did that for a bit, before I moved to her boobs with my mouth. I started sucking on her nipples, which she loved. I admit it--I was going for the boob-gasm. I figured that would make the rest of the proceedings a little easier.

I got it, and in a remarkably short period of time. She grabbed my head and held it tight to her boob, while her hips gyrated and she let out a little whine. After that, I went down to her pussy with my tongue, just working her up.

While I was doing that, I reached for my pants and pulled a condom out of my wallet. I didn’t want there to be a big time gap.

I got her fairly close to the edge, and pulled away. She groaned, but I moved up on top of her, supporting myself with my hands, and said, “You ready?”

“God, yes,” she hissed.

I slipped the condom on, and rubbed my dick up and down her pussy, spreading her wetness all over it. She groaned deeply at that, and hitched her hips a little bit.

I lined up. God, I didn’t want to hurt her like I had Christine. This was too important to me. However, I knew some pain was probably inevitable. I just hoped I had worked her up enough. I slowly wedged the head of my dick into the opening of her pussy. She groaned again. Then, just barely in, I hit her maidenhead.

“This is the part that hurts,” I said.

“I know. Just do it,” she gasped.

I did it. I felt it give way. Kelly yelped. “YIKES!”

“Sorry,” I told her.

“I told you to,” she managed to get out. “God. That hurt.”

“I know,” I said. “Just relax, and breathe.” She did, and I stayed right where I was. I wasn’t going to rush this--and, thank goodness, Kelly wasn’t trying to get me to do so. I reached one hand over and rubbed gently on her boob, trying to get her to relax. It definitely helped. “How’s the pain?” I asked after a couple of minutes.

“A lot better. Keep playing with my boob and I’ll do anything,” she said with a smile. Good, at least she was smiling. “You were worried about this.”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll be fine. I love you.”

“I love you, too,” I told her.

“Good. Keep going,” she demanded, “it feels much better.”

“OK,” I said, and slowly started to slide into her. One thing I quickly found out was her pain hadn’t diminished her enthusiasm any--and I mean physically. She was extremely wet. I swear, it was like her pussy was Niagara Falls. Even though she was definitely a virgin and tighter than a drum, I slid in rather easily. 

She had closed her eyes when I had started moving again. When our pubes bumped, she opened them again. “You did it!” she hissed.

“How are you?”

“God, wow!”

“No more pain?”

“No, none. It feels good,” she said. “Make love to me, Eddie,” she said. 

I did. I started slowly, not quite believing her that it was completely pain-free. However, as I started moving in and out of her, it became more and more obvious that she was definitely enjoying it. She had closed her eyes, and had a look in her face like she was testing how it made her feel, but that didn’t last long. A couple strokes in, her eyes flew open and she smiled at me. A couple strokes after that, and her ass was coming up off the blanket a little, meeting my thrusts.

I had gotten better at keeping control. Even though I hadn’t had actual sex since Christine, which was quite a few months ago, all the manual-and-oral stuff Kelly and I had done had helped me increase my control. Plus I was consciously working on it. So, I wasn’t going to go off in a second.

I wasn’t going to last forever, though. So, I was glad to start slowly. That worked for Kelly, too. I took my time at first, trying not to go nuts, and working Kelly into it. 

And, boy, was she getting into it! I had gotten into a rhythm, albeit a slow one, and she was humping right back up at me. Most entrancingly, she was also grinning at me with her eyes wide open.

“God, this feels great,” she blurted after a few minutes. “Ooooh, Eddie, I love this!” I smiled back at her, and kept moving. 

As I said, she was humping back up at me. After a couple minutes, she got a look of concentration in her eyes, though, like she was reaching for something she couldn’t quite get to. I guessed there was a spot I wasn’t quite hitting. I stopped all the way inside her and said, “Kel? Wrap your legs around my waist.” She did so, and then I moved again. When I hit bottom that time, she went, “Oooooooh!”

“Hit the spot?”

“God, yes! Keep going!” I did, moving slowly in and out of her. 

“Faster?” I asked after a bit.

“Yes!” she agreed, so I picked up the pace. I was still hovering above her, supporting myself on outstretched hands, but she obviously had different ideas--she wrapped her arms around my neck and tugged. “I want you closer,” she hissed. I was glad to oblige--I moved down and rested my weight on my elbows. She kept her arms around my neck and started kissing me, still humping up at me on every downstroke. Starting to lose control, I went faster.

“Oh, God, this is unbelievable!” she hissed into my ear. She went back to kissing me--then stopped, because she was gasping for air. “Oh! Oh! Oh! OH! EDDIE! OH GOD!” she yelped, and then went completely rigid below me, except for her ass which came right off the ground. Her hands dug into my shoulders, she squealed, her whole body shook. Then her pussy clamped down on my dick so hard that I came instantly.

My GOD. It was absolutely stunning. 

I pulled out, gasping for air, as she did the same. When her eyes opened, she looked down at my dick. “Did you...uh...”

I pulled off the condom so she could see that I definitely did. “Like never before,” I told her.

She grinned, and said, “But you’re still hard.”

“That happens sometimes. Not often, but sometimes. I have to be especially turned on.”

“So, do you have another one of those things?” she said, pointing to the rubber that I had just peeled off.

“Sure.”

“So, put it on!”

“Aren’t you sore?” I asked her.

“No. I want more.” 

Unbelievable. “You’ll be sore tomorrow,” I felt obligated to point out.

“Like I care?” She sat up on the blanket and hugged me, rubbing herself up against me. “That was too fantastic. I want more,” she demanded. 

I laughed and reached around into my pants pocket for another rubber. She looked on in fascination as I slipped it on. After it was on, she grinned, and started to lie back on the blanket. “Hold on,” I said, “let’s try something different.” I arranged myself on the blanket next to her, rubber-covered dick high in the air. “Climb on,” I told her with a grin.

“Will that work?” she asked.

“Sure will. And it’s supposed to be incredible for the girl.”

“Better than what I just had? Impossible,” she snorted--but got up and started climbing onto my lap. 

“On your knees,” I told her, “right in my lap. Then, raise yourself up a little, grab my dick, and ease yourself down on it.” She did so, her face screwed into a mask of concentration. I felt the head of my dick slip past her opening again--as did she judging by the gasp--and then I felt her slowly slide down it. She gasped again when she hit bottom.

“Wow, you’re right, this is something,” she said. “I just hope my legs hold out!”

“They will,” I said. She smiled, and started moving.

One of the best things about female superior, to my mind, is that it gave me easy access at things to play with. Boobs, for example. Considering how sensitive Kelly’s were, this was a very good thing. I raised my left hand and went right for her boob with it. She hissed out an “Oooooh!” and started moving a little faster. Then I took my right hand and went for her clit.

Complete explosion! I can’t even describe it and do it justice. She started slamming up and down on me so fast and hard I was worried she was going to pull a hamstring! She obviously hadn’t come completely down from her first one, because this one didn’t take long at all. A few minutes of her furiously moving with my hands on her boob and clit, and she stiffened again. Then she shuddered, whinnied like a horse, and I felt the rhythmic clamping of her pussy on my dick again.

Then, thoroughly exhausted, she flopped forward onto my chest--still impaled on my dick.

“Oh my goodness,” she gasped. “You didn’t go again?”

“Nah. It’s harder for a guy the second time.”

“And my legs are like jello,” she laughed.

“You want to flip over?”

“No,” she said determinedly. “I like this too much.” Then she took a deep breath and started moving--slower this time--up and down my dick. She was still lying on top of me, she hadn’t straightened back up, which was actually very fun for both of us. I drew my knees up to give her more leverage, and started bucking up at her on every downstroke. She ran her hands through my hair and kissed me.

I hadn’t thought I was that close to cumming again, and with her legs tired she wasn’t moving all that fast. But something happened. I guess it was the way she was--draped on top of me, her lips on mine, her fingers in my hair, her tits rubbing up against my chest as she moved on me. She took her lips off mine for a minute and nibbled on my neck, then went back to kissing my lips. She was practically purring in my mouth. It was so sensual that even though this was my second and she never really got what I would’ve considered ‘up to speed’, I still felt myself building up quickly.

I put my hands on her flanks to steady her, gently rubbing her sides. She moved a wee bit faster, but not much. It didn’t matter. After a short few minutes, I grabbed her around the waist and thrust up inside of her and came. With her nipples drilling holes into mine and her tongue still in my mouth. It was absolutely incredible.

There is a difference between fucking and making love. I’d learned that a long time ago in the first life. This was making love, no doubt about it.

I’d never felt as close to another human being--not even Kara--as I did to Kelly at that moment. So, I said it. “I feel so close to you right now it’s like we’re one person.”

“Yeah. That’s exactly it,” she agreed. I had finally gone soft and slipped out of her, but she was still sprawled on top of me, my arms around her waist. “Now, I’m asking myself, what the hell was I waiting for?”

“You were waiting until you were ready. If you had rushed it, it wouldn’t have been as good.”

“Yeah, but one of the reasons I wasn’t ready is that I was afraid I wouldn’t like it. This went so far beyond ‘like it’ I can’t even put it into words.”

“Yeah, but that wasn’t the whole reason you weren’t ready. Waiting until you were sure was the right thing to do, Kel. You know what they say--worth the wait.”

“Oh, it was definitely worth the wait!” she laughed. “Wow. I love you so much.”

“I love you, too,” I told her. “How are your legs, still like jello?”

“No. Now they’re like spaghetti. Cooked spaghetti.” 

“There’s a problem with that,” I said. “We have to walk home.”

“Oh? I thought you were going to give me a piggyback,” she said impishly.

“Hey! I did all the work the first time. My legs aren’t exactly at full strength.”

“Oh, poo. Why do you lift all those weights and do all that running if it’s not to give me piggybacks?”

“You’re a brat, you know that?”

“You love me anyway,” she said, and kissed me.

“You’re right, I do.”

We rested for a bit, then gathered up our clothes and headed out. We walked to the bottom of the hill then across the park hand-in hand. When we got out of the park and onto the main street, I abruptly stopped. Before she knew what was going on, I stood in front of her, crouched down, grabbed her legs, then slowly stood up. She squealed and wrapped her arms around my shoulders just in time.

“Eddie, I was kidding about the piggyback!” she said--though the tone in her voice indicated she was really delighted.

“What my lady wants, my lady gets,” I said, then started walking. She couldn’t stop laughing. We got to the corner where we had to cross the street, and I pushed the button for the traffic signal--with her still on my back. We crossed the street piggyback. It was hilarious. Kelly still couldn’t stop laughing and yelling “Wheeeee!” and all the folks in the cars at the traffic light were cracking up. 

I couldn’t go much further with her on my back, so I set her down. She was still laughing. “You’re nuts,” she said.

“Only about you.” I told her. We walked back to her house hand-in-hand, in complete bliss.

JULY 12th, 1979

So, that began our physical relationship, Kelly and I. It was absolutely marvelous.

I’d had decent sex, and good sex, if you count both timelines. With Kara, I’d probably even call it great sex. Sex with Kelly was stupendous sex.

I’d never been with anyone that enthusiastic. Kara loved it, but even that paled in comparison. After our second time--a week after the first--I looked at Kelly and said, “I think I’ve created a monster.”

She laughed and said, “Well, a nymphomaniac anyway.”

And the innuendos! Those started right away. We didn’t see each other the day after our first time--though we talked on the phone and she admitted she was sore, claiming “it was the greatest soreness of all time!” We did see each other the next day, a Monday, as we were still in school. She got on the bus, sat down next to me, and promptly whispered in my ear, “My pussy itches. Can you scratch it for me, mister?”

I started getting stuff like that all the time. Before school got out, she’d walk up to me in school, look down right at my dick, and then look up grinning. The junior high had a ‘graduation’ with gowns and everything, and Kelly walked up to me and whispered “I’m naked under this gown. Wanna go play?” Sara had her Fourth of July party again; and, while in the pool, Kelly pulled the top of her bikini down, flashing me. Stuff like that.

There was one day when I mentioned that I had to replenish the rubber supply. The next day, she was hanging at my house--my mom had invited her for dinner. Well, she decided she wanted to go to the store. When we got outside, I asked her what store she wanted to go to. She said, “The one where you buy the rubbers. I wanna go and buy them with you.” So we went to that drugstore and she proudly helped me buy the rubbers, with the girl behind the counter glaring at her the whole time. When we got outside the store, she couldn’t stop laughing. “Did you see the look on that woman’s face when I pointed at the rubbers?” she said. 

Like I’ve said--zest for life. I loved every minute of it.

Sex? God, we had a lot of sex. Especially after school got out. It’s a good thing her mother liked me, because we were together all the time that summer. And I was the one that had to suggest we occasionally did something other than sex! God, she was insatiable. 

On this day, July 12th, sex wasn’t possible. Kelly had her period. So, we went to the mall. We ran into Beth, doing some shopping with her mother. Lydia went off to do some household shopping and the three of us went to Orange Julius. We bought some and grabbed a bench. 

“How’s it going?” I asked Beth.

“OK. I’ve been spending lots of time this week keeping Olivia from going off the deep end. Dennis broke up with her.”

“Damn,” I said.

“It’s probably a good thing in the long run because he treated her like crap,” Beth maintained, “but right now? She’s devastated.”

“I’ll bet,” I said. “He was her first, and she’s fragile to begin with.”

“Right. And she completely hasn’t come to terms with me at all,” Beth continued. I just shook my head.

“Come to terms with you?” Kelly asked.

Beth looked at her. “Eddie’s told you, I’m sure, that my prognosis isn’t good.”

“Yeah,” Kelly said sadly.

“Well, Olivia’s in complete denial. Just won’t accept it. She actually said on the phone the other night, ‘What would I do without you?’ to me. And I had to remind her that she’ll probably find that out sometime soon. She just shrugged it off. ‘Oh, you’re not going to die,’ she said. She’s waiting for a miracle.”

“Well, I have to say that I don’t blame her,” Kelly said. “Look, you’re here, right? Why give up hope? What kind of friend would she be if she just accepted it?”

“Eddie accepts it,” Beth replied.

“Uh, no,” I corrected. “I don’t accept it. I’m resigned to the probability. There’s a difference.”

“OK, I see your point,” Beth said, “but you’re not in denial. Look, it’s two years this month since I was diagnosed. There’s a 75% morality rate within two years. I’m living on completely borrowed time as it is, from right now onward. Maintaining that there’s no way I’m going to die is just denial.”

“I understand what you’re saying,” Kelly said, “but look at it this way. As you’ve said, you’ve already beaten the odds. Maybe you’ll continue to beat them. I’m not in denial. I’ve talked with Eddie enough to know your odds are long. But I do prefer to look on the bright side of things.”

She certainly did. It was one of the reasons I loved her. In this case, however, I knew better. Of course, I didn’t say that.

“There’s a difference,” was what I did say. “I’ve seen Olivia. There is a difference between looking on the bright side and being in complete denial.”

“Right,” Beth agreed. “You have hope,” she said to Kelly. “Hey, so do I. So does Ed. Olivia, however, doesn’t just have hope--she’s living in a fantasy world where, for all intents and purposes, I’m not even sick.”

“Maybe that’s how she deals with it,” Kelly said.

“Yes,” Beth agreed, “but the problem with that is, what happens to Olivia if I do die? Look, she’s had a lot of bad things happen to her. And I’m the one that she cries to. I’m the one that picks up the pieces. Whose gonna pick up the pieces if I die?”

“We will,” Kelly said. “Don’t worry about Olivia, OK, Beth? Worry about yourself.”

“Thanks,” Beth said, obviously touched. 

“I mean it. They say attitude helps with a bad illness. Don’t worry yourself to death,” Kelly continued. “If the worst happens, Olivia will have friends, you can count on that.”

Beth looked at me. “You’re a lucky guy, you know.” 

Kelly just blushed. “I know I am,” I agreed. 

AUGUST 18th, 1979

The rest of July went fine. The first few days of August were fine. Then Kelly left, for two weeks. She and her whole family went to Florida to visit her grandparents. They did this every summer. I was going to miss her--but, hey, it was only two weeks. I spent those two weeks practicing the guitar, playing basketball up the street, and hanging with friends. I went over Stan’s a couple of times and we got the guitars out. I hung with Beth a few times, including one day with Olivia where we managed to cheer Olivia up for a day. I also hung with Kara some, just as friends.

Today, the eighteenth, was the day Kelly was to come home. Actually, she came home late the night before, but this was the first day I’d be able to see her. I couldn’t wait to see her. Summer was almost done and I hoped we’d be able to spend a lot of the rest of it together. It was only two weeks but I’d really missed her.

I happily walked over to her house. She opened the door--and she looked absolutely miserable. She looked like she’d been crying. I went to hug her and she stiffened. “We need to talk,” she said, and led me to a bench in her backyard.

Uh-oh. This didn’t look good.

It wasn’t. “There’s no easy way to say this. Eddie, while I was in Florida, I cheated on you. I slept with someone else.”

“Huh?” was all I could get out.

“There’s this guy, Steve. I’ve known him for as long as we’ve been going down there. He’s a year older. He lives behind my grandparents. We’ve always been friends and, well, I guess we always kind of liked each other, a little. Well, he really liked me, which I hadn’t realized. When I got down there, he put the moves on me. And I let him.”

“Can I ask why?”

“Well, there was an attraction there, I won’t deny it. I was also horny as all get-out. You weren’t around, and I needed it.” That’s when she started crying. “God, Eddie, I’m so sorry. I just wasn’t thinking. He was there, and being all seductive and I was horny--so I gave in. And I’ve felt this incredible guilt for three days now.”

I took a deep breath. “Was it something I did?” I asked.

“God NO!” she yelped. “Are you kidding me? You’re the perfect boyfriend! And, no, the sex with him was horrible. Not like with you at all. Eddie, this has nothing to do with you. This was me being weak and stupid.”

“OK,” I said, and thought for a minute. “I’m not going to deny I’m hurt and betrayed and disappointed. But I still love you, you know.”

That shocked her. “How can you possibly still love me?”

“I just do,” I said with a little smile. “We all make mistakes. Was this a mistake?”

“A big huge fat one.”

“Then we can get past it.”

She looked at me like I had three heads. “What? How the hell can we get past it? You’ll never trust me again!”

“Sure I will. It might take some time, but I will.” I gave her a wry grin. “I might be a bit of a basket case the next time you go to Florida, I’ll admit.”

That’s when she started bawling. I went to put my arms around her and she pushed me away. “I can’t do this!” she bawled.

“Can’t do what, Kel?”

“I can’t sit here and watch you be all noble about this.”

“I’m not that noble. I’m hurt and upset.”

“I know, that’s why I can’t do this,” she sniffled. “Eddie, I can’t go out with you anymore.”

“WHAT?” What the hell was she doing?

“It’s no good. Do you realize how guilty I feel? I look at you sitting there and I feel like scum. I expected you to break up with me. You should be breaking up with me. But you decided to be all noble instead. But I can’t do this.”

“Kelly, we can get through this.”

“No, we can’t. Don’t you see?”

I’d managed to keep calm until right then. “No, Kelly, I do not see. You’re upset and guilty because you did something to hurt me, right?” She nodded. “So, you’re going to fix this by hurting me worse? Because, believe me, breaking up with me is worse than cheating on me.”

“No, it’s not. You deserve better than me, Eddie.”

“I don’t want anyone else. I just want you.”

“Eddie, I just can’t!” she wailed. “Every time I look at you it’s going to be a reminder.”

“Fine, but don’t pretend you’re doing this for me. You’re doing this for yourself. You can’t deal with the guilt. That’s your problem. Don’t for a minute think you’re doing me any favors.” 

“But I am!”

“Bullshit. I could get over you cheating on me. Really, I could. I’d be upset and hurt for a while, but I could get over it. Dumping me? That I might never get over. That’s the worst thing you could’ve ever done.” With that, I stormed out of the yard. She called after me, but I just didn’t want to hear it. I didn’t want to hear her tortured rationalizations for such an idiotic decision.

I just didn’t get it. I don’t think I ever would get it. I don’t know. I wasn’t a complete nut about fidelity, especially at our age. We were 14. I mean, we weren’t fucking married! Yes, it was a betrayal to a degree--and it hurt and was upsetting. But she was truly sorry for doing it and I would’ve gotten over it. 

Breaking up with me? Made absolutely no fucking sense whatsoever. I just didn’t understand it at all.

I clomped up the street, disgusted. When I got to the top, Kara was standing there.

“Hi. How you doing?” she asked.

“You know,” I said.

“Yeah, she called in tears last night after she got home.”

“Well. That’s the end of that, anyway,” I said bitterly.

“Can’t you ever forgive her?” Kara asked.

“I doubt it,” I spat.

“Jeez, Eddie, I know you must be hurt but I didn’t think you’d react this horribly. I’m glad I never cheated on you.”

“Oh, I could forgive that. I told her that. I was hurt, but I could get past her cheating.”

“OK, so what can’t you forgive?”

“Her breaking up with me,” I spat.

“She WHAT?” Kara blurted. “Oh, Jesus.”

“You didn’t know she was going to do that?”

“God, no!”

“I told her straight off that we could get past the cheating. But she dumped me because she’s having a severe case of the guilts.”

“Oh, Jeez, Eddie, I didn’t know she was going to do that.”

“Well, she did.”

“I’ll talk to her.”

“Thanks--but, I have to say, good luck. You’ll need it.”

“Would you take her back?”

“In a heartbeat,” I said. “We can get past all this.”

“You really love her,” Kara said softly.

“Yeah,” I admitted. 

“Then I’ll work on it.”

AUGUST 23rd, 1979

Kara did work on it. I know that for a fact. However, so far, it had been to no avail. “Damn, I just can’t get through to her!” Kara told me over the phone. Unfortunately, I wasn’t surprised.

Something had broken in Kelly, and I couldn’t figure out how to fix it. Neither could Kara. 

Unfortunately, this was one of the emotional minefields of teenaged sex. Fidelity and guilt and all that. Kelly was reacting like the confused fourteen-year-old she was. I knew that. The problem was, she was over-reacting. I didn’t react how I should have, and that should have made it easier for her. I wondered what would’ve happened if I had pulled a jealous fit. Maybe things would’ve been better. Maybe the fact that I confounded her expectations confused her more. 

Maybe we should have never had sex.

That one haunted me. Did I do this to her? Because the sex was so unbelievably mind-blowing, because we were truly in love, because she seemed completely ready--had I taken her to a place I shouldn’t have?

I was thinking of that especially on this day, the 23rd, because I was offered sex on this day.

It was Belle, my second cousin from California. She was staying again for a couple of weeks. 

As I’ve said, the first time around, this second visit was accompanied by news of a boyfriend in California, and a demand that the two of us just ‘be friends’. I knew she was coming--she arrived the day Kelly dumped me--and figured we’d just be friends again this time. Since I thought I had Kelly, that was fine with me.

Of course, now I had no Kelly. And things with Belle were not the same as they were in the first life.

It seems she did have the boyfriend from California--but had just dumped him. “I slept with him. He was my first. After that he kind of lost interest in anything other than that. And I got tired of being ignored unless he wanted sex. So I dumped him,” she told me.

“Ah,” I said. I had already told her about my love life in the year since I’d seen her. She was glad Kara and I were still friends, but upset for me about Kelly.

“When I was here last summer,” Belle went on, “I figured out that you and Kara were sleeping together. And Kara looked so damn happy. So, I figured it would be fun. Well, to tell you the truth, it wasn’t.”

“Really?”

“I think it was him. I think he was clueless. That’s what I want to find out. And I know Kara enjoyed it with you. So, since neither of us is attached at the moment, do you want to have sex with me?”

We were alone, at my grandmother’s house, and would be alone for a few hours at least. Gram was working, and Belle’s mom had gone off for the day with mine. So the opportunity was there.

If you don’t think I was tempted, you’re crazy. Like I said, Belle was a babe. If I went to bed with her, she’d definitely be the most physically attractive girl I’d ever slept with, and that’s in either life. Kelly was cute as hell, and Kara was very pretty, but Belle was a bombshell. She’d even grown a bit which made her grow out of some of her chunkiness--but she was still really curvy, which I liked. I had this vision of her walking along a California beach in a bikini, and I could probably jack off to that particular vision for quite some time. And now I was being given the opportunity to, not only see her completely naked, but have sex with her? That was gonna be hard to turn down.

I thought about doing just that, though. I really did. Kelly still haunted me. I still wondered if introducing her to sex was the worst thing I could’ve ever done.

Then again, it hadn’t scarred Kara any, had it? And, though I thought at first it might have scarred Christine, I turned out to be wrong about that, too.

Plus, the 14 year old indignant part of my brain proclaimed--what was I doing feeling guilty about Kelly? I didn’t cheat. I didn’t break up with her. Why was I searching frantically for something to take blame about? Sex? Hell, I waited until she was ready, didn’t I? Kelly wasn’t my fault. If she was fucked up, she did that to herself all on her own.

As an added incentive, I wouldn’t be Belle’s first. If she was screwed up about sex, it wasn’t my doing, right? Plus, we knew what the ground rules were. She was going back to California in a little over a week. There was no ‘relationship’ to worry about. We liked each other, a lot, but there was no romance here, not with 3,000 miles separating us. This was an offer of no-strings-attached sex.

Plus, I was horny as hell.

So, I said yes.

No, it is not one of my prouder moments. But I did it. And, you know what? It was great. We got undressed, I played with her for a while, then I ate her out--which made her go absolutely berserk. Then I fucked her. It wasn’t like it was with Kelly, but it was still sex. Good sex, with a very enthusiastic and appreciative girl. And sexy. Really sexy. Belle with no clothes on--well, that’s an image burned into my mind for all time. This girl could be a Playboy centerfold. And she let me fuck her. 

In fact, we did it twice more before she went back to California. And, you know what? She thanked me. “You are so much better than my ex-boyfriend I can’t tell you. Thank you for showing me what sex is supposed to be like.” 

It felt good, dammit. I enjoyed it. I liked her reactions and I got off. So what if there was a little voice in the back of my head yelling, “It’s not the same as with Kelly--or even Kara.” It was close. It was sex.

Sex was good. Love? That’s what sucked.

SEPTEMBER 24th, 1979

When I got to school for the beginning of the school year, I didn’t see anything to change my mind about that conclusion.

Kara hadn’t been able to get through to Kelly. Furthermore, Kelly wouldn’t even talk to me. She’d see me in the halls or on the bus and just look at me like she was about to start crying. Fuck that. Who needs that?

It wasn’t just me. Livvie was still mooning over Dennis. Michelle and her boyfriend Mike had seemingly gotten closer over the summer, which made Stan feel like shit. Even other people--Danica had started dating Stan’s friend Rob Silverman at the end of last school year and that had broken up in late August. 

Hell, I even had to console Kara through a phone call. Her boyfriend dumped her--seems he found someone else over the summer. 

So, we went back to school, the Old Gang, in a state of disarray. And this was a new school, Cabot High.

There were two Junior High Schools in Cabot, East and West. They both fed into the high school. So, half the school was new kids. It was a new school for us, new teachers, new classes, and half new classmates. It would’ve been easier to take, I think, if we’d all stuck together.

But we didn’t. Kelly avoided me. Danica avoided Rob. Michelle didn’t want to rub Stan’s face in it so she avoided Stan. Olivia avoided all human contact with anyone that wasn’t Beth. I ate most days with Stan. Just the two of us, wallowing in our misery. Sometimes Beth ate with us, but that meant Olivia, too, and Olivia just brought everybody down. I stuck it out for Beth’s sake, but I was miserable.

Maybe if I had been able to rely on the myth of Eddie the Stud, I might have at least gotten laid. However, that didn’t seem to have carried over. Christine certainly wasn’t going to say anything good about me. Kelly wasn’t going to talk about me at all. And Kara wasn’t here. Somehow, the change of schools had turned me back into the School Nerd. It wasn’t as bad--no beatings or vicious tauntings or anything like that--I was just seen as a nerd. Even though there were enough people in that school that should’ve known better. I wasn’t connecting with new people and my old friends had scattered.

So, I concentrated on my studies. I still considered that the most important thing. I kept working out. I played the guitar a lot, often with Stan. And I waited for things to get better. 

However, I knew the truth. Things weren’t gonna get better. I knew what was coming.

It came on this day, the 24th, a Monday. I sat down at lunch with Stan, and Olivia joined us. 

“Mind if I sit here? Beth’s not in school today.”

“She’s not?” I said.

“Nope. We have English class in the morning together and she wasn’t there. She must be sick or something.”

Sick or something? Livvie, as Beth had said, was in denial. However, I knew. The timing was right, so I knew. When I got home, I had it confirmed. My mom had talked to Lydia, Beth’s mom.

Saturday, Beth had gone back in the hospital.

Her leukemia was out of remission.