Chapter 09: A Compromise Is Offered
I was very rudely awakened when my two older sisters trooped noisily into my bedroom and proceeded to jump on the bed, shaking me awake.
“Come on, stud, time to get up. We’re leaving soon and you’ve got to come tell us goodbye.”
“Uhhhh,” I wittily replied.
Glancing around, I saw I was surrounded by
“Yeah, sleepyhead,” groused
“Hey, just remember that I’m not
the one to say it this time,”
I waved her off, acknowledging I wouldn’t pin the blame on her, although I did it mainly because I didn’t plan on remembering anything, as I simply planned to return to sleep. However, they managed to grab my arms and drag me from my bed and out the door. By then I’d managed to regain some sense and was being willingly propelled down the stairs. I didn’t have a chance to comb my hair, straighten my shirt or wipe the dried spit off of my face, before I was deposited on the coach amidst my parents and sisters, while my girls quickly surrounded me.
“OK,” began
“That means we’re all going to be
around a lot more. Which also means we’re going to be much more intimately
involved in your life, though admittedly not as much as certain
others may be,”
“Yeah,”
“We all agree with that,”
“Any questions, stud?”
“Uh... first, please don’t call me stud, secondly, I really...”
“OK, stud, firstly, NO. Secondly,
forget it,”
“All right then,” she continued. “
“At least until the weekend,” I cautioned, hoping the girls would have decided which one would drop me by then.
“Finally,”
“OK, soldier, stand up and give us
a hug,”
Mom and Cate expanded a bit on
everyone’s assigned roles, but I largely let it roll off my back, figuring
they’d work out the little details. When they finished, they nodded
approvingly, as if they agreed with my role as nominated de facto ringmaster of
this particular circus act. The girls then led me back in to get dressed while
Breakfast was fun. Cate couldn’t keep from looking like she’d just won the lottery, as her morning afterglow shone brightly enough to cause my father to finally get up and leave the room while my girls all giggled about it. I knew I’d have to have a discussion with my father soon, as this sudden turn of events seemed to have really caught him off guard. Which was strange, because he’d seemed OK with it until then.
School was, as was becoming common, interesting. When Cate and I entered, she glanced around, said “pardon me”, winked at me when I turned, and approached a guy I didn’t even recognize. She then proceeded to give the young man quite a kiss! It shocked me to think she could be interested in someone like this. However, someone was right there to catch her at it, and they called them both to task and asked them in to see the Principal. Cate winked at me again as she passed, and it suddenly occurred to me that this had all been planned.
She’d apparently picked someone, largely at random, and kissed them to cover her noticeable ‘morning after’ grin. I guess she figured she couldn’t hide her radiant look today, and figured getting caught kissing a guy would firmly establish him as the guilty party. I guess for once a rampant rumor might just help us out. I figured the guy would be so smitten by the sudden attention, he probably wouldn’t object to the misperception. I smiled to myself as I walked away, hoping Cate didn’t get into too much trouble for her little subterfuge.
During home room
“I talked with
I was a bit shocked at the vehemence, but amused that the worst curse he could think up was “douche bag”. That insult had to have originated in the 50s, before there were commercials for feminine hygiene products on the television every day. Still, I resisted laughing at him, figuring it wouldn’t help. He stormed off, so I just shrugged and continued on my way to my first class of the day.
I felt badly about
The rest of the day was pretty normal, though. The various looks I received throughout the day continued. They seemed to have lessened by the end of the previous week, but I imagined the rumors of my dual dates had fueled them even more.
At lunch I figured I’d continue with my new tradition of trying to reach out to different groups and I approached the table of Asian kids. I figured they’d be more accurately defined as the Intellectual table rather than Cate’s normal group of so called friends, though the whole school separated them by race instead.
I walked up early, a trick I’d learned previously in my history of visiting other tables. That way there’d always be a spare seat when I’d ask. When I inquired if they minded if I sat with them one guy looked up and started in on me.
“What, just because you know one Oriental you figure you know all of us?” he challenged.
I briefly sized him up, though it didn’t really tell me much about him. He wasn’t especially tall, but was taller than anyone else at the table. He had a clear complexion, which says a lot for most high school kids. He looked attractive enough, but his eyes clearly conveyed his dislike of me. I had no idea what his issue was, but thought I’d best try to deal with it here and now.
“No, first of all, my friend isn’t Oriental. She’s a Vietnamese-American. And I don’t think she’d have anything in common with the rest of you. That’s why I’d like to sit and get to know you, because I don’t know you and I’d like the opportunity to do that. However, I’d expect the same from you.
“I’ve spent the last couple of
years sitting off by myself, just waiting for high school to be over. However
I’ve recently changed my mind. There’s no sense putting off leading my life
just because high school kids are a bit temperamental. If you don’t want me to
sit at your table then just tell me, but you don’t need to attack my character
when you don’t know me from
I made sure to keep my tone calm during this whole diatribe and tried to make eye contact with each person seated there while I was delivering it. It seemed to work, as the feelings from the group seemed to ease considerably.
“Relax,” stated a slightly
shorter, stockier guy. “
“That’s part of the problem I’ve been having lately. Everyone assumes they know me because of a few rumors floating around the school. What makes you think I have a host of girlfriends?”
“Word is that you’re living with several older women and we saw them kissing you. That certainly didn’t look like a polite kiss to me. You were seen arriving at school in an expensive red convertible with two women who appeared quite friendly. And then there’s the story that you’re dating Bulldozer’s girlfriend and sister. That sure sounds like a few to me.”
“Well, the women that kissed me
after school are staying with my parents, not me,” I lied. “One’s working for
my parents as a cook, while the others are looking for apartments and jobs
nearby. They’re just family friends. Also, just for your information, one of
the women in the convertible was my sister. And the reason why I asked
“The women kissed me because they
like to tease me, precisely because I’m young, shy and easily embarrassed. They
did it when we first met in
“I can hardly blame them, cause it’s the kind of humor my whole family shares, but it’s made my life around here a real mess. That’s why I asked the two girls out, because they showed an interest in me and not in this sex maniac everyone expects. I told them both I’d ask them out if they could treat me like we’d just met. They did and so I’ve gone out with them, like I said I would.
“Now, if the rest of you could possibly treat me the same way, I’ll be glad to sit here and talk. But if you’re just trying to continue this terrible rumor then I’ll just leave now.”
They were all instantly apologetic and I began to think I had made a mistake being honest for the past week. Lying is sooooo much easier! They all introduced themselves and we finally got to know something about each other. Of course, I’ll never remember their names, even if most of their first names are plain American ones. And by American I mean English Protestant Anglo-Saxon, because I was rapidly learning that’s what all the names I’d previously considered ‘normal’ were.
I noted that there were several
cute girls here, and they all spoke and carried themselves well, though
The rest of the day was almost normal. Up until my rendezvous with my two potential girlfriends, that is. That was just an odd enough circumstance to negate my feelings of normalcy, in and of itself. They both met me by my car, eager to begin our planned discussion. I wondered how they found it until Cate showed herself, sitting inside the car talking to them.
“What’re you doing here?” I asked her.
“Well, duh, how else am I going to get home? You seem to have forgotten that I rode to school with you.” They all giggled while I looked askance at my sister. She knew I was planning this today, but never thought to remind me she’d need a ride. Plus, she could easily have arranged a ride on her own. I could see her wanting to involve herself in this discussion.
“Well, Cate, the three of us have a fairly private matter to discuss. I’ll just have to take the time to drop you off first then.”
“Oh, no,”
“Yeah, and if it bothers you, I can just sit in the background while the rest of you talk,” Cate offered. I still didn’t much like it, but I figured I’d been outfoxed. The only problem was I didn’t know if I had one or multiples foxes involved.
Our recent liaison just complicated everything as well. Although I doubted it, I wasn’t sure if my new sexual relationship with her might have triggered a new bout of jealousy in her. Even if it didn’t, I wasn’t sure I wanted her here to complicate an already delicate situation. I didn’t know how she’d react, or even how I’d deal with her in this situation.
So I drove the three girls to the Dairy Queen in Farbersville, a little town about a half hour away, because it wouldn’t be likely to house any friends, acquaintances or families, and it also had outdoor tables that would allow for a lesser chance of being overheard by anyone. The girls spent their time teasing me during the drive. As we situated ourselves at an isolated table, Cate offered to get everyone some ice cream cones. The girls all enthusiastically agreed, while I suspected she offered just so that she’d have an excuse to come back to listen in.
“So, handsome, what’s the deal?”
“Well, anyone have any ideas on how to deal with the whole virgin with multiple girlfriends issue?”
“Ooooh, we’re
officially girlfriends already,” cooed
“Whew, that sure saved us both a
lot of work,”
“Well, personally, I’m willing to
take the whole sex issue off the table,”
“She does have a point,”
“As I stated previously,” I told
“If we let her sample
“Yeah, but then it wouldn’t be a
fair choice for her, would it. Choosing between one guy
who’s interested in doing her regularly, against someone who’s trying to
protect his other girlfriend’s honor. She’d just eventually
think I wasn’t that into her. Again, that’d be her choice, but if I honestly
want both of you to give both
“Also, if she were to do that just
to take the pressure off of me, that wouldn’t really be fair to
“Personally, the choice seems easy
to me, as I can’t image wanting to have sex with my brother.
No offense,
“Not necessarily,”
“OK, probably not.”
“Since she gets to have unlimited
sex with
“I’d be willing to concede that
point,”
“I might be convinced that’s an option,” I told them, “but again, it just makes it look like I’m already not that into you. I’m not ready to concede that just yet.”
“You know, you simply can’t be fair to everyone,” Cate interrupted us, returning with a container with four soft serve cones. I sighed at her timing. I guess she couldn’t have planned it, but she chose the most inopportune time to return. “Whatever you do, someone is going to be disappointed, either at losing the coveted virgin offering, or simply by being dumped in the end. By going to extremes, trying to eliminate unfairness, you’re ultimately being completely unfair.”
“Your sister makes a good point,”
“Yeah, unfortunately she usually does,” I informed them.
“How about if I simply offer to
put off having sex with anyone until you settle this?”
“There is that,” I conceded.
“I could always agree to go fuck
someone,”
“Yeah, what’s up with that? Are
you sure you aren’t a deeply closeted gay guy?” teased
“Nope, no chance in hell of that,” Cate informed them both. They both turned and looked at her.
She shrugged. “Hey, personal observations. They’re not always discreet,” she confided.
“Really?”
“Maybe not,” countered Cate. “He’d just focus on equal views, equal amounts of hand lotion and equal orgasms. He has a real hang up on this whole fairness fantasy of his.” Again, both girls looked at her regarding her apparent familiarity with my sexuality.
“Equal orgasms
for them or for us?”
“For everyone
involved. That’s what makes this so damn complicated. If he was just a typical
selfish male we wouldn’t be in this quandary. There’s a certain something to be
said for the desirability of simple male obsessiveness. There’s an easy
solution, though,” Cate suggested lightly. “
“Nah, I think we both like this
whole drama,”
“I’m sure there’d be at least one who’d be appreciative,” she remarked with a smile, leering as she did so. If she’d been standing close I’d have kicked her for that alone.
“Look, it shouldn’t be such a big
deal,”
“Agreed,” stated
“You knooooow,” sounded out Cate. “There is another option.”
“Cate!” I warned my sister before she could commit herself. I just knew I wasn’t going to like her compromise, whatever it was.
“Yeah?”
“You two could just offer to share your first time with him. That way, whoever gets first dibs on him won’t have quite as much of an advantage.”
“No!” I stated emphatically. “The whole point of this was for them to not simply assume I was a sex maniac. Asking them to have a three-way with me, before we’ve even gotten to know each other or decide if we have any romantic feelings, is not what I want to convey.”
“There is a
certain logic to what she says, though,”
“And just what would you think of me if I agreed?” I asked. “You’d probably all have fun, then lose all interest in me afterwards. No, again, I think it’s best for me to take the responsibility in forcing difficult decisions.”
“Again? Does he have a history with forcing difficult sex
questions?”
“If you only knew,” Cate offered.
“OK, look, let’s just choose straws and settle this,” I finally demanded, getting frustrated.
“Fine, have any straws,” laughed
“OK, how about flipping a coin?” I pulled one from my pocket. Flipping it into the air I asked “Heads or tails?” They both immediately stated “Heads”, without any additional specifications and we all watched, fascinated as the coin missed my hand and rolled away from us. They all started to laugh as I chased after it, only to have it disappear in a little rat’s nest of debris and garbage lying by the fence at the DQ property line. They were all laughing hysterically when I returned dejectedly.
“There, you have your answer,
“That’s just...” I started to protest.
“Nope. She has you there, pal,”
“As the official impartial observer, I concur,” added Cate, completely unhelpfully. “Wild orgy it is.” They all laughed at my damn bad luck.
“Gee, isn’t it just like my
brother to be dejected when a couple of gorgeous girls both decide to have
group sex with him? Doesn’t he have the toughest life possible? Here he’s looking
for just plain, simple, vanilla sex for his first time, and he’s forced to
accept a cherry cobbler of kinkiness. We all
feel for you,
Now that they’d settled on a solution they all started enjoying the ice creams which, up until now, had simply been dripping all over us. I could tell this relentless teasing of me was becoming endemic by the leers and giggling that continued. There were the obvious jokes made as the girls slowly reduced the sizes of their cones, about what size Cate thought best approximated my physical dimensions.
“I think you’d have to combine more than your dates to get the size correct,” she teased. I thought it highly disconcerting that both girls assumed that Cate was so knowledgeable of my sexual equipment, but I had to concede, she had plenty of personal observations of it, even before last night.
“Hey, since you’re our official,
uninterested observer,”
“And since you have experience
observing
“Would you like to officiate,
Cate?”
“I don’t know, there’s something to be said for having the experience of a few older women who know a bit more about the subject,” Cate countered.
“No, for now, I think it best if
it’s best just the three of us,” argued
“So,
“You’ll have to tell us all his
favorite positions, though,”
“Would a video tutorial help?” Cate offered.
“Oh, definitely,”
“Will you give it a rest,” I pleaded. “As I keep saying, ‘girlfriends’ is really the wrong term here. And I’m still a damn virgin. I don’t have an endless parade of floosies following me around.”
“Not yet,” Cate interjected.
“Hey, we’re just glad to be
included in the first dozen,” laughed
Things didn’t improve for me the entire way home, as the banter kept up the whole way. Oddly, once this strange decision was made, both girls seemed happier and more relaxed than before.
“You know, it won’t work,” I suggested. “I mean, it’s hardly spontaneous. Besides, we’ll have to stop whenever one set of us gets worked up, until we can schedule a date when all three of us can get together at the same time.”
“All four of
us,”
When we finally got back, things didn’t get any better. Did I mention they insisted I treat each of them to my ‘patented goodnight kiss’ at each of their doors? The girls and my parents practically busted a gut at the position I found myself in.
The girls all thought the whole story hilarious. “Serves you right,” they all laughed.
“Act like an overgenerous oaf and expect to be taken advantage of,” my father offered. Mom insisted she had to inform my other sisters about this newest turn of events. I simply chose that opportunity to go lock myself in the bathroom for the next hour. How had I ever managed to lose control so completely, I lamented.
They laughed and teased me, asking me what could I expect. God had it personally in for me, according to them. He both had it in for me and wanted something from me. He was showing how worthless my atheism was, but was demonstrating that I was still a favored son. I just groaned. I knew there was no getting out of this. It was exactly what the girls had all dreamed of happening.
The teasing continued for most of the evening. Dinner was quite an event, as the family joined in the fun, laughing about the entire thing. Even Mom joined in, taking great delight in the fact the fates were playing tricks on me. Dad, however, didn’t laugh much. He simply watched Cate and me, simmering quietly.
When I took Cate to task for her pointed comments, practically admitting she wanted to jump my bones before they even had a chance, she simply laughed.
“They knew it was all in fun. You were the only one to catch the triple entendre,” she replied happily. “Besides, it helped keep everyone relaxed and focused. They’d have thought it odd if I hadn’t made a comment like that.”
I just sighed, once again knowing she was right. They knew how her mind worked and how close I was to everyone around me. It was best to deal with the issues lightly then to attempt to deny it.
That night, Cate joined