“The Catalyst” Series
		“Touring Under Pressure”
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21:  Visions, Nightmares, Sickness and Hope

           

“Well, I guess it’s time to get down to business, huh?” Alex asked as he pushed his plate away. Breakfast had been a dour affair. None of those in Alex’s group felt like talking, given what they knew they’d be dealing with later. Their Native American hosts were, as ever, aloof and taciturn, and today they were even more serious, now that their entire future rested in Alex’s nervous hands. Or at least that’s how Alex viewed it. It was hard to tell what the mostly silent village residents believed.

“Yeah, that’s a good idea.” Simon wiped his mouth and stood too. “There’s no sense putting off the inevitable.”

Alex and Simon walked out together, not bothering to wait for the others who trailed behind.

It was a hot, dry oppressive day and the sun blazing overhead baking their skin wasn’t making things any easier. The conditions were hardly alleviated in the non-air conditioned hut they were using as a makeshift clinic.

“You specified you wanted the worst cases first. Though I question the wisdom of that approach, I accept it since I have no idea how you operate. This case, though, is a tough one,” Simon said, as they entered the dark interior where Alex could see an older woman lying there, obviously quite ill and looking uncomfortable.

Gail stepped up, looked her over and turned to Alex.

“There are a couple of major tumors, fairly well advanced.” She turned to Simon. “I’m surprised you haven’t tried to remove them.”

“Ah, but that’s the rub,” Dr. Reinhart explained. “While a simple removal is cheaper than chemotherapy, it isn’t an option in this case. The central tumor resides next to a major artery, which is why it’s managed to grow so fast. It’s getting more than enough blood flow to feed it’s never ending growth. That’s why this is such a difficult case. We’ve got to find some way of removing the cancer without surgery.”

Alex and Gail spoke silently together, while Gini listened in, trying to learn how to interpret what she saw. Finally Alex turned back to Simon.

“It’s going to be difficult. These are all major growths and I can’t drain the energy from them without destroying the flesh and organs in the way. While I may be able to help with the tumors, I’d have to kill off the healthy tissue around them.”

“Well, there’s an easy enough solution for that,” he responded, calling to Jennifer. “Could you get her ready?” Turning back, he told Alex what he planned. “I’m going to put her under quickly, and then I’ll cut her open. We aren’t really operating in a pristine environment, but since you simply need unfettered access it should be OK. I’ll cut as close to the tumor as I can, and you can treat it without worrying about anything getting in the way.”

As much as that disturbed Alex, he couldn’t see any reason to object. It would solve his problems, and it would give him access to what he needed to do.

“You do realize I can’t do what I need to do with gloves on?” he asked.

“Are you planning on manhandling her tumors?” Simon asked.

“No, but still….” Alex replied, not able to explain his fears.

“Then it should be fine. Both Jennifer and Dr. Ryan explained how you operate, so I don’t see any problems with it.”

It took a moment for Simon to put the woman out using a crude anesthetic, applied with a simple air supply mask. He then motioned Alex near him as he made a couple simple incisions, working quickly. Jennifer, standing on the other side of the patient, wiped the blood clear, and Simon waved Alex forward.

Alex had never had much experience with blood, aside from his own when he was shot, so he felt a little queasy looking at the woman sliced open like she was, but he put those feelings away. He had more important things to concentrate on, and this woman’s life depended on his not getting sick just then.

“You realize what I’m going to be doing will make her blood thinner, making her bleed—”

“I’m perfectly aware of how you work,” Jennifer assured him. “I’ll keep the blood stanched, you just do what you need to.”

“Do you actually thin the blood?” Simon asked. “If so, I’d love to know how you accomplished that.”

“We’re not exactly sure what causes it,” Cate explained, “this is just something we’ve observed over time. We’re not even sure it thins the blood, but it increases bleeding, whatever the causation behind it.”

Alex saw he couldn’t use the more efficient forehead approach, since the incision wouldn’t give him enough room to stick his entire head into her body, thus he’d have to do this the old-fashioned way, by using his fingers. Jennifer pulled the skin apart, giving him more room while still keeping the incision clean of excess blood.

Alex reached in, moving his hands as close as he could without actually touching anything. He could easily access the tumor now, and it was clear what it was, as it appeared hard and dark, like a mottled mass of destructive growth. Using just his finger tips, he tried to drain the energy from it at a slow but consistent level. Gail advised him how he was progressing, once again showing him what he couldn’t see.

Alex had to make several passes at it, keeping each one short, since he wasn’t actually doing anything physical with the tumor. But he had to get in at different angles to reach the different areas of the tumor. He knew it wasn’t necessary to get it all. Simply draining much of it would sap the rest of its life sustaining energy, and without that it would slow down substantially. What’s more, once the affected areas of the tumor died off, they’d slough off. Simon could either remove it later, or hopefully her body would be able to dispose of it naturally.

He worked on it a little longer, trying to reach the areas he hadn’t been able to reach yet, instructing Jennifer where he needed access to, when suddenly the woman’s incision began to fill with blood. It quickly filled and the blood began running out, streaming down her side. Alex stepped back in alarm.

“Doctor, we have a situation,” Jennifer said, as she hurried to clean the wound enough for him to see what had happened.

“Damn, her artery burst. You didn’t cut anything, did you?”

“No, I didn’t touch anything. I don’t even have a knife on me.”

“Well, excuse me, but this is going to be difficult to stop. Could one of you give me some more light, please?”

Alex retreated, and Cate came up to reassure him, as Simon and Jennifer worked frantically to save the woman’s life, knowing he’d blame himself for whatever occurred.

“Damn, I don’t know what’s happening. Every time I try to sew her artery up, it falls apart on me. It’s crumbling like a sand sculpture.”

“I think what’s happening is Alex drew too much energy from the artery walls, effectively killing the cells making up the artery. Thus it’s disintegrating as you pull it tight trying to sew it up,” Gail explained. “At least that’s what Liv is telling me. I’m giving her a live feed on what’s happening.”

“Does she have any suggestions on how I can save this woman’s life?” Simon asked in desperation. This should have been a serious but easily treatable complication, but instead he found himself unable to stanch the flow of blood.

Gail simply shrugged her shoulders, but since he couldn’t see her she answered verbally. “She says no. Without a viable artery, there’s no way to make the repairs you need.”

“I don’t suppose draining energy from her would help slow her bleeding?” Simon asked, never looking away from his task.

“Sorry, but it doesn’t work like that,” Alex replied. “The effect on the blood is secondary, a byproduct, and I don’t look forward to draining more energy after what I’ve already done to her.”

“Damn,” he swore again as he continued to work. Jennifer continued to mop the freely flowing blood, but she was having little effect, as the blood was getting everywhere. Cate had to turn away from the scene, but everyone else had seen enough blood to not react negatively, whereas Alex felt he had to look on in consuming dread.

“8:12. I’m calling time of death. She’s gone. She’s lost too much blood and there’s nothing else I can do. Her heart’s stopped and with nothing to pump, it doesn’t make sense trying to restart it,” Simon said, finally stopping. Jennifer continued to work, since without a blood pump like most hospitals have on hand, the blood continued to flow even though it was no longer being pumped. Seeing Cate was having trouble, Gini stepped up, took Alex by the hand and forcibly led him outside.

“It wasn’t your fault,” she insisted.

“No. You’re wrong. It was entirely my fault. I drew too much energy away and it destroyed the very tissue keeping her alive. That’s why I shouldn’t be doing this. This is a force which can’t be controlled, and we don’t know enough about to use safely.”

“That may be so, but until you learn more about it, you’ll never be able to use it successfully. You’ve got to expect the occasional failure. After all, think of how many people died when they first discovered anesthesia, and how many people still die of adverse reactions to it even now. This is the same thing. You couldn’t account for it.”

“She’s got a good point,” Simon said, walking out into the sunlight, peeling his gloves off as he approached. Alex glanced around, noticing several people around them, none of whom approached, but who continued to look on, trying to determine what had happened. “That was a completely unexpected accident. I’m sure you didn’t intend to weaken the artery, and I’m also sure it isn’t as easy to control this energy as it seems. While unfortunate, you did the best you could.”

It was then Alex noted another older woman, quickly shuffling to the hospital cottage, pausing at the door, then entering. Curious, Alex followed her and watched what she did.

She entered, took in what was happening, and then approached the body.

“I’m sorry, but there was nothing we could do,” Jennifer told her.

The woman said nothing, though Alex could hear a quiet sob. She tried to hold back her tears as she reached up and closed the woman’s eyes.

“We need to clean the body up. It would be better if you didn’t see her like this,” Jennifer continued.

“Believe me, I’ve seen her at her worst. This is nothing. This is just her end. I’ve seen death before, and I’ll see it again. She had a good life. We both hoped Ada could help her, but we knew it was unlikely. There was too much damage done. We were already resigned to this. I’ll get her burial shroud for her,” she said, before turning and leaving the hut once again, tears quietly streaming down her face. She walked by Alex without saying a word to him.

“As she said,” Simon continued once she’d gone, “they knew how sick they were, and how risky this was. Don’t feel like this was your fault. You were her last hope, and I’m sure you took more chances than you normally would in trying to save her.”

Alex wasn’t sure how to respond. His heart felt like it was being ripped out. He’d injured people before, but only in self-defense. He’d caused someone in the Emergency Room to bleed badly, like this, but the emergency room staff had managed to stabilize him, and he’d also shattered Jennifer’s arm, though indirectly, but here she was, almost whole and doing better than when he’d started. But this was the first time he’d unintentionally killed someone while trying to help them, where he’d used his abilities not to inflict harm, but ended up actually taking someone’s life. He’d chosen to end Mary Taylor’s life in Carbondale, but that was different. That had been a mercy killing, and while it had hurt him tremendously, she’d asked him to do it.

“Alex, you shouldn’t be here,” Cate insisted, physically pushing him away from the hut as she exited it herself. “Remaining here is just going to make you obsess about what happened.”

“She has a point,” Gini added. “And you can’t take this personally. While this is unsettling, there are too many people depending on you for you to lose your nerve now.”

This last statement stopped Alex in his tracks, and he turned and regarded her. Turning slowly, he took in everyone standing around, observing them, their number having increased over the last several minutes. Strangely, no one seemed to be judging him, holding him personally responsible. Instead, they seemed sad but resigned. They seemed to not be taking this personally. But Gini was right. This wasn’t about him, this was about helping the people here, who without him would die soon anyway. His only hope, no, their only hope, was if he could slow the spread of their cancers, giving them a little longer. Otherwise they had no hope at all.

“OK, I’m fine. Are we ready to continue?”

“It’ll take Jennifer a little while to clean up, and then the members of her family will remove the body,” Simon explained. “They have their own rituals for the body, and their own burial customs.

“I’ll tell you what; I’d thought starting out with the worst case was a bad idea. How about if I select a couple of people to focus on instead, covering a variety of situations? That way we can see what you’re capable of, and you can get used to treating these people.”

“That makes sense,” Alex replied, as Gini handed him a water bottle to wash down the bile in his throat. “Call me when you’re ready. I think I need to walk this off for a little while.”

---

“OK, I decided to start off a little easier this time. This one isn’t quite so far gone, but he’s also a difficult case. His tumor is much smaller, but it’s in his lung, so it’s very difficult to operate on, and it would be highly risky in even the best of conditions, which these clearly aren’t.”

‘What do you see, Gail?’

‘Like he said, it’s a tumor to the front side of his right side lung, right about here,’ she said, pointing to where it was.

‘What do you see, Gini?’

‘The same thing, I guess, but it looks like it’s got a healthy supply of blood feeding it, as the tumor, although an odd color, is still fairly bright.’

‘Very good, you’re learning,’ he replied.

“So what do they say?” Simon asked, having watched Gail pointing out where the tumor was.

“Yeah, is that the only one?” Alex asked the room in general. Simon answered before anyone else could respond.

“He’s got a couple of smaller ones, but that’s the most important one.”

“That’s what I thought,” Alex replied, even as Gail gave him a brief image of what his aura looked like so he could see where they were. “Does everyone here have such widespread cancer? Doesn’t anyone have a case that hasn’t spread?”

“They’ve got a very high incidence of it here, and when they get it, it spreads quickly. Again, we think there are specific reasons why they’re more susceptible, although the results aren’t conclusive enough to pinpoint it, I suspect the water.”

“And you can’t get enough water here to support the community?”

“You’ve seen the road into here, and there are a lot of people. What’s more, the water seems to seep into everything. The local plants which the locals eat draw water, putting down deep roots. They draw whatever is causing these problems to the surface. It’s not as easy as buying more bottles of water. And don’t forget, these people can’t afford to buy thousands of bottles a year.”

“OK, I think I understand the problem,” Alex replied, “and they absolutely refuse to leave?” Simon simply nodded his head with an unhappy but resigned expression on his face.

Seeing the discussion was over, Alex stepped up to the man. He’d been lying down, so Alex got him to stand, then leaned in and rested his forehead against his chest. Then he stood up and pointed his finger at a couple of areas surrounding it, always pointing towards the tumor.

“That’s about all I can do without causing other damage. I’ll look at it again later, maybe I can do a little more, but this should restrict the growth and cause it to diminish a fair amount.”

“How do you feel, Al?” Simon asked. Alex noted the use of names varied here. Some people used their native names, while others chose to use their American names, but Alex couldn’t see whether anyone held either choice against the people who chose them.

Al just twisted his head a little, considering the question. “Frankly, I don’t feel any differently.”

“You wouldn’t,” Alex answered. “I didn’t give you any energy, I just took away a small amount from a very small area, so you’d be unable to feel it. Just as you never felt the tumor growing, you’re unlikely to feel the changes to it now. It’s not completely gone, but it’s better. Not a lot, but it’s better.”

“That’s all we ask,” Simon assured him. “I’m just looking to improve their current conditions, and slowing the growth of their tumors is even better.” However his words didn’t make Alex feel much better at being unable to help them more.

“Thank you, Ada,” the man said, bowing slightly.

Alex was surprised, but merely nodded in response, after which Al turned and left the room. As he did, Alex noticed another woman standing there, awaiting her turn.

“This is your next case, she’s got uterine cancer,” Simon told him.

“Uh, I’m not sure I want to risk playing around with someone’s—”

“Alex, just think of it this way, what good are her sex organs going to do her if she’s not around to enjoy them?” Simon asked, guessing Alex’s reservation. “Besides, if we can’t do anything with it, her reproduction capabilities will be seriously diminished. As much as I’m sure she’d like to maintain her fertility, I’m sure she’d rather live long enough to take care of children instead.”

Alex considered that, then shrugged, stepping up to her. He glanced at her and then motioned for Gail, who approached with a smile on her face and knelt in front of her and examined her from close up. She couldn’t see anything risqué through her clothing, of course, but Gail found the situation humorous, if nothing else.

“Well, it looks quite nice,” she said, turning to cast him a knowing smile, but then turned back, “aside from that little spot right there. I can’t tell what it’s near, though, since I can’t really differentiate the internal organs.”

“You should be ashamed of yourself, Gail,” Simon chided her. “It’s right in the uterus, in case you can’t remember where that is. It’s to the front left portion of it, if that helps.”

“How big is it, and can I access it from different directions without getting into trouble?” Alex asked.

Simon started to answer when Gail simply held her fingers up, showing how wide it was with her fingers. Simon just shrugged. “Yep, that’s right. You know, if you had a scale model of the human body, you wouldn’t even need me here.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Alex said with a frown. “You get to clean up the mess whenever I screw up.”

“I’d suggest you do the initial attempt using your forehead, going directly in just because you have access, then try it from here, here and here,” she said pointing out the best lines of approach.

“All right, stop sniffing around down there and let me give it a try,” Alex told her. When Gail stood up and moved back, Alex took the position she’d just abandoned. He just touched his forehead to her pubic area, then pressed his finger against each of the points Gail had outlined for her. It only took a couple of moments, and then he turned to check with Gail.

“How’s that look?”

“It looks perfect. What’s more, you didn’t inflict any damage to the surrounding tissue. I can’t be sure, but I suspect if you’d damaged her reproductive system I’d be able to see it.”

“Wow, now that’s amazing,” Simon answered. “Not that the others weren’t, but it looks like you just fixed her entire problem. Since it’s inside the uterus, I’m assuming the body can eject the material, so you’ll probably want to watch whether you have any unusual discharges for the next week or so,” he told the woman, who simply nodded before she turned to Alex, kissed his cheek, and whispered, “Thank you, Ada.”

As he watched her walk out, he turned to Simon. “What the hell does Ada mean?”

Simon looked embarrassed, so Jennifer spoke up. “It means ‘Crow’, Alex.”

“Great, so everyone is calling me Crow based on the silly spirit dream Kuubba had?”

No one bothered to answer since it was clearly a rhetorical question. Rather than let Alex focus on his dissatisfaction with what people expected from him, Simon changed the topic.

“I’ve got a question which might seem silly, but I’ll ask it since I haven’t heard your previous discussions. If you’re afraid of draining too much energy from surrounding tissue, then why don’t you just point your finger in the other direction, away from the tumor, and boost the energy, essentially replacing what you’ve just drained away from the region you were just working in?”

Alex just looked at him and then at Gail. “Damn. I never even considered that. It makes sense, and it’s a very simple elegant workable solution.”

“Not only that, but if you have a difficult case, after you’ve drained as much energy as you can, if you can restore some, you could then begin again, draining even more from the tumors,” Gail suggested.

“Well, I’m not sure if I’m ready to do that. We’re not really sure what we can get away with in the procedure, so I hate playing around too much. I’m not so convinced applying energy after I’ve drained it restores it to where it was. I suspect it’s more complicated than that. I think we’ll do better if we only do so much damage at any one time, but it’ll help if I can minimize what damage I inflict.”

“Good, I’m glad I’ve contributed something to the process. I was beginning to think all my medical knowledge was going to waste. Instead I redeem myself by stating the obvious, having nothing whatsoever to do with medicine. But anyway, since you’ve had some success, even if some of it’s been a little qualified, let’s try a harder case.”

Alex simply shrugged. He was officially Ada while he was here. There was no getting around it. While he may not believe in Kuubba’s vision dream, apparently everyone else did.

---

Alex was exhausted when he finally turned in. It had been a long day. They examined quite a few people, had a break for dinner, then Alex went back to work, working long into the night trying to treat as many people as he could. He felt terrible he couldn’t spend more time here, but the time he’d dedicated to helping Gini had taken up valuable time he’d reserved to helping out here.

The results were quite mixed. Some cases were clear victories, with Alex either substantially reducing the cancers, or at least minimizing it. However there were many cases which didn’t work quite so well. The cases where Alex could access the tumors did the best, but those where there were obstructions, or where Alex couldn’t get a clear shot at them, proved to be problematic.

Though Alex was troubled at the prospect, he had to work on a couple of bone cancer cases similar to Jennifer’s. While Simon assured him Jennifer had turned out OK, Alex wasn’t so sure, but there didn’t seem to be much of an alternative. One case, involved a young man’s shin bone. Simon told Alex it shouldn’t be much of a problem, since he was both young and male and therefore wouldn’t be as likely to suffer from weakened bones the way an older women would. But that claim rang hollow for Alex, since Jennifer was hardly a candidate for osteoporosis. When she shattered her arm it wasn’t because the calcium in her bones had degraded over time.

But Alex treated him anyway, advising the man that he’d have to treat the leg gingerly, being very careful to avoid minor bumps or stresses to the leg. Gini started to suggest drinking a lot of milk, until Simon pointed out the goats the village kept drank the local water and thus were another source of contamination.

One strange thing they observed was that, while applying BCM to an open wound caused increased bleeding, draining it didn’t seem to lessen it. It seems to only work in a single direction. Cate was sure there was some strange mechanism at play here, but no one had any clue what it was. Cate decided to make a series of notes on it, but she considered it a less important issue, and one she wasn’t likely to be able to address anytime soon. Maybe someone else might be able to study it, but their hands were already pretty full.

And there were cases where people did worse with Alex’s treatment. Alex generally refused to treat brain cancers, fearing what may happen to brain functioning or memory from draining BCM from the intervening brain cells. However there were some cases he couldn’t avoid. Like a man with an ever increasing brain tumor which was put pressure on the rest of his brain, leaving him disabled. However, when Alex treated him he ended up feeling confused and bewildered. When Simon tested him, asking him to recall specific details or events from his past, he performed poorly. Despite Alex trying to restore the BCM levels, the man didn’t improve, which seemed to prove Alex’s point. The brain was too fragile to drain BCM from. That worried Alex even more about what he’d done to Gini, although with her he hadn’t seemed to have drained enough to cause her problems. She didn’t display any of the symptoms the man did.

One interesting case occurred when Alex was draining energy from an older man’s stomach. Gail told him to stop, since she was monitoring to ensure everything worked the way he was intending. She pushed him aside and examined the man’s stomach closer up, then consulted with Allison and Liv before turning to explain.

“The problem is while you were draining the energy, I saw a small area develop very dangerous signals, turning from a healthy color to a very dark color, indicating cell death. Yet the tissue all around it was fine. When I consulted our Seer medical experts we discussed it, and Liv made what seems like a very obvious observation. The tissue involved was about this long, and only this wide,” she said, indicating an area about the size of a small pencil.

“Worms,” Simon immediately guessed.

“Exactly what Liv suggested. Apparently there was an intestinal worm in the way while you were draining energy from the tumor. Since it’s much smaller and doesn’t share the nearby energy with the rest of the body, what you drained essentially killed the worm while leaving the man’s body fine.”

“I’ll treat him for parasites right away,” Simon promised. “They actually aren’t uncommon here. We have some fruit trees, mostly cactus pears and the like. While they’re quite tasty, they also share the local water supply, and they frequently have worms that enjoy them just as much as they enjoy feeding on humans.”

The one dead worm, however, required surgery for Simon to extract it before it could potentially poison the man who had it, whereas simply treating him for worms would have been much less invasive and dangerous.

Finally, there were two more deaths which Alex blamed himself for. While they were quite sick and may not have had long to live, they ended up dying from Alex’s treatment, so he couldn’t avoid assuming it was his treatment which triggered their deaths. Thus Alex was both mentally and physically exhausted. All he wanted to do was to climb into bed and sleep, hoping to lose himself to some meaningless dreams so he wouldn’t have to consider the harm he’d done.

Just as Alex was starting to take his clothes off, there was a soft knock on the door to their cabin, one they shared with a local family. The family had been very understanding, putting up the whole group, despite it consisting of one man and three women, one of which was his sister, but Alex slept alone as a result. Thus Alex assumed it must either be important, or someone was attempting to visit the host family. However, Gail wasn’t about to let him just blindly open the door either.

As Alex stood behind her, covering himself with his shirt, Gail partially opened the door, even though it was so flimsy even the sickest of the nearby residents could have forced their way through it. She peered out, then sighed and opened the door wide, revealing a beautiful young woman, unmarred by sickness, with beautiful flawless skin, long straight dark hair and full pouty lips. Her eyes immediately sought Alex out, but it was clear from her response that she was neither a Seer nor a Seeker.

“Ada,” she said, bowing slightly to him, “I come because I’ve been sent. Our futures are intertwined. My spirit guide insists we must join together, and I accept this mission gladly.”

“Whoa, wait a minute, before we start going down that path, how about we start with our names? Mine happens to be Alex, not Ada, I’m not a damn crow. I’ve got no spirit guides that lead me, other than the people who support me. Now who the hell are you?”

“My name is Winona, though my cultural name translates as ‘beautiful vole’, because it was said my beauty could burrow into the heart of the most hardened man.” Gail simply stood aside as she entered. Although she was fully clothed in native attire instead of western dress, it was a simple wraparound skirt and top which revealed quite a bit of skin instead of a ceremonial dress, of which Alex hadn’t really observed anyone wearing.

“Winona? Like the country singer?”

“Yeah,” she blushed, “though actually it’s a Ute name meaning ‘first daughter’.”

“Wait, you’ve got two different Paiute names?”

“No, actually Winona is the name on my American birth certificate. My parents wanted me to remember my culture even if I became Americanized. But actually it’s not uncommon to have a couple of different native names. Once when you’re a child, another when you’re grown up, and sometimes it changes when something happens, though that tends to confuse people.”

“Well, Winona, I’ve got to tell you I’m not a real big believer in spiritual visions, since they seem to be so open to interpretations, but I’m also not about to toss out good ideas when I hear them, so how about you explain this vision of our futures your spirit guide has shown you.”

“It is very simple,” she said, advancing on him with a sultry stride. She was tall and fairly regal looking, but that didn’t counter her earthy sexiness in the slightest. “I had a series of visions a short time ago. They were never detailed, and they came during my dreams, of a massive crow circling overhead, watching me. I had no idea what it meant, so I consulted our medicine man, whom we consult when we have spiritual questions or want answers from our ancestors. He told me I had to discover what it was that my spirit guide wanted to tell me, even though my spirit guide isn’t the crow.

“Acting on his suggestion, I went off and spent the night out on my own, using our version of a sweat lodge to help me see what the spirits were trying to tell me, since I didn’t even know which ones were trying to help me. That night I had a much more detailed vision. It consisted of a massive crow who visited our village, bringing healing herbs in his beak for our people. When he landed, he handed the packet of herbs to our medicine man, who transformed into he who you call Simon. Then the bird turned and advanced on me. I was very confused, not knowing what it wanted, but I knew better than to retreat. It approached me, pecked my thigh, and then flew off. I watched it fly away and wondered what kind of a message this was, since nothing specific had been said about me, only about what you’d do for the village, but after the crow disappeared I saw myself, but my belly was full and it glowed, revealing a baby crow inside.

“I took that as a clear sign I am to lie with you and let you impregnate me. I don’t know why, or what it will mean, but it is clearly intended that I am to bear your child, so it may do whatever my ancestors see.”

Alex considered this before responding, noting they now had an audience, as the entire family was watching them from the door separating the rooms.

“Well, as much as the vision means to you, I’m still not sure how much it means to me. Since you already knew I was coming and had likely heard Kuubba’s prophecy, you already knew what I represented and how she saw me as a crow, so I see it more as a simple wish fulfillment. In your hope I’ll save your village, you chose to interpret the dream as representing me. While I’m moved by the offer, I don’t see it as likely leading anywh—”

“Hold on, Alex,” Cate said, walking out of the other doorway she was watching from, dressed in only a t-shirt and panties, since it was such a hot night. “Hear her out. I think you’re missing the real meaning to the vision. Sure, she may be adding her own details, but consider what she’s specifically added. A glowing belly? That’s sounds awfully close to what your own Seers report all the time. If you had a child with her, and if it turned out to carry your abilities, then it too would likely glow just as you do. I suspect Kuubba’s vision had nothing at all to do with Stu. After all, I still have no idea what the hell you thought you were doing to him, and he hasn’t shown any signs of reacting any differently. Instead, I think she was predicting this. Kuubba foresaw you and Winona making love and bearing a child.

“Alex, for as much as you’ve been trying to sire a child who could carry on your work after you’re gone, you’ve never had any indication you’ve had any success. But here you have a clear sign where other people see it happening, and while it may not involve a Seer or a Seeker, remember that your gene isn’t related to theirs, and thus they don’t need to be the one to carry your gene on. But I don’t think you can afford to say no. If this was meant to be, and if they see it producing the heir we’ve all been waiting for, then you can’t afford to pass up this opportunity.”

Alex remained silent, chewing over Cate’s words. Gail, meanwhile, was simply leaning against the door, smiling at the awkward situations Alex always managed to get himself into which no one else would have a problem with. Any other guy would just take a beautiful woman offering herself to them to bed, especially if she didn’t care about pregnancy scares.

“OK, let’s say this is a possibility,” Alex said, trying to come to an understanding with this vision of his and this woman’s future, “why would you choose to go along with it? Why would you do something just because an unidentified spirit suggested it? There’s no sign of who instigated it. For all you know it could be a malicious spirit, one intent on hurting your people, possibly even the very ones who are poisoning your water and your people. And what’s in it for you? What would it mean to have an outsider’s baby, especially when he can’t stay and look after both you and the baby? How would that look? How would you ever care for the baby?”

Here Gail couldn’t help herself and broke out laughing. When Alex glared at her interruption she held up a hand, signaling she had to regain her breath before she could answer.

“Alex, that is the silliest argument I’ve heard from you for quite a while. Clearly your people won’t abandon this child, even if it shows no signs of being your heir. After all, no one knows when these abilities develop. It doesn’t appear your abilities developed until you were quite a bit older. And if it is your heir, your followers will flock here, bringing anything either Winona or her people could ever desire.”

“Not only that, but it’s clear these people see you as something other than a savior,” Gini added, speaking with a deep conviction of her own. “They see you as a spirit, just as we do. They aren’t looking for a miracle, but to be part of what you represent. They may not see things the same way we do, but they can clearly see what you represent. While you may not be able to save all of them, you’ve helped them and they also recognize your importance goes beyond what you can do to help them. I seriously doubt anyone is going to hold this against her.”

“Hey, do you mind? I’m trying to discover something about the future mother of my child. I don’t want to always remember her as a beautiful member of the Paiute tribe who walked in and out of my bed one night. I’d like to know how she thinks, what she believes. Whether she actually believes in what she’s being asked to do, or whether she thinks it’s her duty. These little hurried intimate discussions is as much courtship as I get. Don’t take that away because you think you know what’s best for me. I refuse to see the women who voluntarily enter my life as mere objects for me to advance my own desires. I want to care for them, to see them as human beings and not mere pawns to be shuffled into positions which are advantageous to me.”

His outburst seemed to shock everyone in the room. Gini fell silent and everyone simply stared at him. However Winona grabbed him, as if trying to shelter him from their abuse.

“I’m sorry. You’re right, I had no call to interfere,” Gini admitted.

“We just didn’t want you to miss what might be the only opportunity to keep your mission alive,” Cate said, trying to maintain some dignity.

“I understand what you were trying to do. Now, do you think you could give us a little privacy? As much as Winona thinks this is necessary for us both, I don’t think her spirit guide told her she’d be performing for a crowd. Some people still believe that sex and love are intimate acts between two people.”

Cate blushed heavily and quickly started to backtrack, but before she turned around to hurry away she caught Alex looking directly at her, and as she met his gaze she saw him wink at her, letting her know he didn’t take what he said seriously. Or rather, he didn’t mean what he said to be personal. He knew just how important this was, but he wanted it to be important to Winona, and possibly for himself as well. Cate could well understand and respect that. So she smiled at her brother, winked back at him, and she and Gini left him and Winona alone, ushering the family, still watching the events, back into their sleeping quarters. Cate was sure they hadn’t been able to follow the rapid fire English exchange between them, so she suspected she’d be supplying a translation of what just happened for a while. It looked like she and Gini would be almost as busy as Alex was.

As they left, Alex and Winona talked in intimate whispers about a variety of things, mostly involving her beliefs, her hopes and her dreams. Gail, who still felt it necessary to watch over Alex, decided to guard his door from outside for a little while, so she grabbed a water bottle and walked out the door, sitting down outside, sitting against the door, close enough so she could at least hear what was happening inside.

One thing she had to admit about Alex, she reflected, he never let things get boring.

           

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