College 13
By Corbin
How life tests the endurance, patience, and sometimes faith of one young woman.

**********

When one is working out at the gym try to wear something comfortable it's not a 
fashion show, yet I see guys/girls wearing expensive watches, rings and 
necklaces. What the freaking hell is that all about?!
 
And girls let's make this clear YOU are fooling NO ONE! 80% of you woman at my 
gym are there to strut around in short-shorts and lounge around on equipment. I 
see you walk in, not a drop of sweat on your face, and then leave the gym never 
having broken a sweat. Also, I am not a trainer, do not come up to me asking for 
advice. I just want to get in, workout, then get the hell out! 
 
And guys, Guys, GUYS! PLEASE!! What is with the whole baseball cap on backwards?
PUUHHHHHLLEEEEAAASSSEEE!!!!! Take the cap off, so what if you are going bald 
learn to live with it.
 
Also if you have time to read a book or watch the TV while working out you are 
NOT REALLY working out, just more people in the fantasy world of exercise.
  
**********
 
If there is one thing I could change it would be my hair, it's straight, when 
the weather is cold it's straight, when it's hot/humid/windy straight! Dirty, 
clean, sweaty it's STILL STRAIGHT!!! And it's about shoulder length right now, a 
little past the shoulders actually.

Darn I would love to have just a little wave or curl to my hair.
 
**********

Okay get ready I have something to vent on, bet no one saw this coming!
 
I notice that all of the men in *most* commercials are dumpy/overweight/pathetic 
looking. Basically (look at any sitcom/beer/Viagra commercial) and it portrays 
you men as a fat/stupid/impotent/balding/incompetent gender, totally to be 
outdone by smarter more beautiful women. (Maybe you like that?)
 
Well I am disheartened that so many men appear unaffected by this Media 
Characterization. They are insulting you, slapping you in the face as being 
stupid/fat/lazy/worthless, where only your TV counterparts are able to 
marry/date beautiful women. 

For god's sake WAKE UP!
 
**********

Dating Dale had its own new experiences that I had never anticipated for.
 
The most stressful being a trip over to Dale's apartment after Soccer practice 
one day. I had shown up at a pre-arranged time, although Dale's car was nowhere 
in the parking lot, but I went up to the apartment anyway. Steve was there and 
answered the door inviting me in, now I didn't know Steve all that well, but he 
seemed like a decent enough guy. Steve stood about 5'10" with un-kept red hair, 
but otherwise a fairly tidy person like Dale, 'Thank god' I thought as I could 
be such a stickler for neatness.
 
"You just get off from practice?" Steve asked eyeing my soccer uniform, actually 
I watched his eyes continue to trail down towards my legs often.
 
"Yep." I said and sat down at the Kitchen table, while Steve had gone back into 
the living room to watch TV, but slowly turned his attention back to me when I 
asked, "Dale running late?" while checking my cell phone to see if there were 
any messages.
 
"Just a little he should be home any second." Steve looked over at me again and 
then cut off the TV. "You can fix yourself something to eat or drink if you 
like, just help yourself." He called out and now his full attention was directed 
towards me.
 
"Thanks." I replied and picked at a piece of tattered string coming off my 
shorts. I knew Steve had a hard time figuring me out, because of my typical one-
word answers, I guess to him he might as well be talking to a brick wall. I 
looked up from picking at my dirty shorts and saw him walking towards the 
kitchen table, it caught me a little off guard but didn't give me any grave 
concerns at the moment. I really didn't have any bad vibes from being around 
Steve, but this was the first time I ever been really alone with him.
 
"You weight lift?" Steve pulled out a chair to my left and sat down. 

'Oh great...' I thought, '...is he going to grill me now?'
 
"Some." I answered and was trying to change mental gears into my 'Social 
Mode' for some conversation, if that is what he was expecting.
 
"How much can you lift and such?" He leaned forward, folding his arms 
casually in front of him on the table top.
 
"Oh, I don't really keep track of that sort of stuff, I just try and stay in 
shape." I smiled and tried to brush off the pursuit of any more questions about 
that topic of conversation. Steve watched my every movement, even under the 
smudges of sweat and dirt he seemed fascinated with me.
 
"Oh come on, you don't keep track?" He scoffed at the thought, "As dedicated as 
you are it's hard for me to believe that you don't have some idea." he probed.
 
I shifted in the seat a little and let out a small, indistinguishable sigh of 
annoyance, "Not really, I keep track of everything up here." and pointed to 
my forehead with a smile.
 
"So, how serious are you with Dale?" Steve suddenly shifted questions again, 
catching me off guard a bit.
 
"What?" My mouth opened with puzzlement, I understood the question, but was a 
little surprised he was being so forward.
 
"You know what I mean, I notice you've been coming over allot more, so I figure 
that you two must be getting pretty serious." He smiled and seemed amused that I 
was stumbling over my words.
 
"Well were dating, but serious, I mean if you're asking are we committed to 
dating one another exclusively? Yes, I mean we haven't really discussed it at 
length." It dawned on me that it was a good point, I had never demanded nor 
asked that we date exclusively, I just 'assumed' we were at that point.
 
"So maybe your unsure at this point? So there might be an opportunity for 
something else?" He raised his eyebrows and totally shocked me as his right hand 
reached out, his palm coming to rest on my left knee that was folded over my 
right leg. 

My eyes grew wide as I looked down at Steve's hand. Instinctively my left hand 
which had been folded in my lap flew out and backhanded his right forearm thus 
knocking his hand from my knee with a loud *smack*. "What the hell are you 
doing?!" My eyebrows fused together in anger and disgust.
 
"I thought you said that you were unsure, so I just wanted to let you know that 
if things didn't work out with Dale, I thought it would be cool if you and I 
could hook up, that's all." He shrugged and tried to act nonchalant about the 
whole thing.
 
"Are you morally retarded!?" I fired right back.
 
"What?" He looked at my befuddled.
 
"For you to hit on me, in your friend's apartment!" I started to seethe.
 
"Hey chill out, it's not that big a deal." He leaned back in his chair acting a 
little like the one who had been insulted.
 
"Sneaking around behind people's back and putting out dating requests in case 
things don't work out with your friend is pathetic." I snapped.
 
"You think so?" He leered at me with contempt over my flying insults and high-
brow moral stance.
 
"If you think it's no big deal then why not get it out in the open, let's just 
get everyone together when Dale gets home so we all can know what everyone's 
game plan is. That way you and Dale can sync-up and you can outline your dating 
strategy if he and I split down the road." I was now leaning onto the table with 
my right elbow.
 
"Look, your blowing this way out of proportion!" He interrupted while shaking 
his head and stood up.
 
"Where are you going?" I snapped and quickly came to my feet. I wasn't sure what 
just happened inside of my brain, but something flipped and I wasn't going to 
let this guy or anyone off so easy. Perhaps it was the building pressures that 
had been mounting for weeks; the stress of school, sports, and my friendship 
with Sharon. But, in any case, I wasn't about to let this guy off so easy, nor 
feel sorry my actions.
 
"What?" He looked at my strangely, his upper lip curling with humorous shock, 
"I'm going back to watch TV." he pointed casually to the living room.
 
"You want to watch TV? How are you going to do that with me in your way? 
You'll have to get thru me little boy, unless you apologize." I took a step back 
and tore off my lightweight jacket. I was beyond caring at this point, I figured 
this guy could probably beat the crap out of me, but I was hedging my bets that 
he would back down first, 'besides I'm at least as tall as he is, maybe even an 
inch taller'.
 
"I'm not fighting you!" He said with a little shock and nervousness creeping 
into his voice. Steve was totally blown away by how I was reacting, I guess he 
never had any 'Girl' threaten him like this...what made it even worse was how he 
appeared to be second guessing himself.
 
"Fine, then I'll be the one throwing all the punches." I shrugged and shook my 
arms out, my muscles flexing and tensing as I rolled first my left, then right 
shoulder. 
 
"Have you lost your mind! I'm...I'm...I'm not fighting you, you're in my place, 
now leave!" Steve pointed to the door. 
 
I stepped in and put my hands on my hips and smiled, "Make me leave." 
We stood like that in our stand-off as he looked me up and down quickly, trying 
to asses how serious I was. "And another thing as a guest in 'Your Place' you 
are one hell of a rude host to be hitting on your guest!" Pointing a finger at 
myself, "And did I give you permission to touch me!" I took another step in 
closer, "DID I?" I loudly snapped.
 
"No." He said with a mumbling noise barely above that of a whisper, but his eyes 
conveyed true shock. I'm sure he had seen a few girls sloppily smack it out in a 
parking lot or bar while intoxicated, but I was looking him dead in the eye and 
seemed as collect and serious as anyone.
 
"But you did touch me, didn't you!" I snapped again.
 
"I'm sorry, look I was just trying to hit on you!" He shrugged a couple of 
times.
 
"You're sorry? That's your idea of hitting on a girl? No wonder your single!" 
I placed my hands back on my hips and cocked my head to the left in disgust.
 
"I'm sorry, OK! Jesus! What else do you want!" He sighed. I just kept staring at 
him and shook my head in disgust and reached over to pick up my jacket.
 
"I'm going to wait for Dale in his room." I growled and turned to walk down the 
hall.
 
"What are you going to tell him?" Steve called out.
 
"We'll see." I called out, not looking back.
 
"But I apologized!" He yelled, but I just slammed the door shut.
 
I threw my coat into a corner chair and flopped back onto the bed, I began to 
massage my temples with both hands, trying to ease the stress out of my body as 
I felt my heart pounding in my chest. As the seconds ticked by and I increased 
my breathing I could literally feel my heart slow down to a more regular pace, 
it was an invigorating sensation, the feeling of my own heart beating in my 
chest. 'What the fuck' I thought, 'This is definitely not High School...its 
worse.'
 
(Should I have decked him? I guess not, sometimes I think I should have. 
I'm also more aggressive now then I used to be...so had that happened today I 
would have him in a choke hold on the floor babbling out his apology while 
struggling for air.)
 
I bolted upright when I heard the front door open and heard Dale's voice, 
quickly I stood and opened the bedroom door. Dale was standing there with a 
couple of bags of groceries in his hands talking to Steve.

"Hey!" He called out, his face suddenly lighting up with a broad smile when he 
saw me. "Sorry I had to stop and pick some stuff up." He sighed and set the bags 
down on the counter.
 
"That's okay." I smiled, I caught a glimpse of Steve cringe when I leaned in and 
kissed Dale, he probably wanted to vomit with jealousy.
 
**********
 
I always felt more comfortable around Dale as along as I maintained some 
emotional and physical control in the relationship. 

"Hey Corbin, do you maybe want to go out?"
 
"Where to?" I said stepping out into the bedroom running a brush thru my hair, 
bending at the hip so it hung straight down to the floor as I kept brushing. 
 
"Huh?" he said looking up again, he appeared a little distracted, looking at 
some other part of my body instead of what I was saying.
 
Shaking my head with amusement, I repeated myself, "I said, where to? 
Do you have someplace in mind?"

"Sorry, it's just, those jeans they look damn hot on you." He suddenly blurted 
out. I smirked at his compliment, but also gave him an impatient look. "Oh 
right, well you know that new bar that opened up, they're having a big bash 
there tonight."

I casually flicked my wrist towards my bag tossing the brush into it. "Well," I 
thought for a minute, I looked over at my bag and contemplated what to do.
 
"If your not interested..." He tried to down play it.
 
"I like to get to bed early that's all..." I seemed to be talking more to myself 
then to him at this point.
 
"We can get back early enough for that." He quickly interjected.
 
I wasn't keen on relying on anyone to get around and looked over at him 
seriously, "Then promise me that we're leaving there by no later then Ten 
o'clock! Because if you think you want to stay later we will just drive separate 
so I can head back to the dorm to get some shuteye." (Told you I was the boss!)

"I promise!" He raised his right hand, "We will leave no later then ten 
o'clock!" and smiled. He stood up as he watched me turn around and pull my bag 
out of the bathroom and toss it into the corner.
 
"Okay let's roll." I said and stuffed my ID and Cash into my pant's pocket. (I 
am really getting into this bossing around thing! Eric back in High School and 
now Dale, they jump when I say jump! Hot damn!)
 
"By the way you look gorgeous." he gushed "And those jeans, Good Lord you have 
to wear them more often." Again with the comment on my jeans, but I guess beauty 
is in the eye of the beholder. They are the oldest, most beat-up, faded pair of 
jeans I have, but I guess they fit me pretty tight because I get allot of 
compliments when I where them. 

Although Dale and I were warmly greeted by friends at the bar I was about to 
have a nervous breakdown, I am not comfortable being the center of so much 
social attention. I find it difficult to shift from circulating with single 
friends to people that were couples and suddenly they wanted to make small talk 
with me, another thing I seemed ill prepared to do. For the longest time I felt 
like I was inadequate for not being able to exchange in what I deemed 
'meaningless conversation'.
 
Now all of Dale's friends, Football buddies, and Frat brothers were suddenly my 
friends...YUCK! Some are nice people I guess, but I can't remember all these 
people's names! Not to mention I was totally blindsided by the very rude 
flirting that some of Dale's so-called guy friends were throwing my way, and 
some of these guys have girlfriends!! 

Have you people no morals?!!

Have you people no ethics?!! 

You call yourself a friend of Dale's and now your hitting on me! I'm his 
girlfriend you jackass! I blasted these fools every chance I got!

IDIOTS!

And then there was the simmering jealousy of other girls to contend with, many 
would fume over the fact I was getting to be the center of so much attention.
On one occasion a girl got mouthy with me, telling me 'not to interrupt her when 
she was talking'. I responded with my usual graceful style;
"Stuff your bitchy attitude or I'll stuff my fist down your throat!" I pushed my 
knuckles under her chin so hard her teeth clicked. Her face became pale and a 
look of shock and horror told me I had put her in her place, but Dale was 
embarrassed and we had a bit of an 'argument' over how I tend to *over-react* to 
things.

Anyway, back to the moment at hand, I left Dale to his buddies and sought out a 
group of Soccer buds I had seen only moments ago. But getting thru the crowd 
proved to be a major pain in the ass, "Pardon me, excuse me, pardon me!" I 
pushed and shoved my way thru, fuming with irritation. It seemed like every step 
I was also getting propositioned by some guy, and even got a few offers from 
some girls, I wasn't sure if they were hitting on me or what because I'm dense 
in the 'vibe' department. I was about to flag down the bartender, I *needed* a 
drink, when a guy was suddenly at my left elbow, trying to get my attention. "My 
name is Shelton! I'm on the team with Dale."  (See! See what I mean! Everybody 
that is friends with Dale is saying hello and expects me to be all nice, giddy 
and happy, especially if they are some stupid Football player!). 

"I'm..." I was about to speak, when he finished my sentence.

"Corbin, yeah I know!" He smiled. 

I looked at him with total confusion and shook me head, "How come everyone seems 
to know my name." I mumbled to myself and was sure he didn't hear it.
 
Shelton's reputation preceded him, a very handsome black man who was a real 
charmer with the ladies. So not only was he a Football player and a lady 
'player', but he especially liked white girls, make that white girls with blonde 
hair (lucky me). It was very apparent he was turning on all of his charms.

"Here, let me." Shelton quickly stepped up and ordered a Corona from the 
bartender.
 
"No, no, really, please don't, I appreciate the offer but I'm with Dale." I said 
I didn't want to lead any guy on.
 
"That's okay, I know about you and Dale, I still want to buy you a drink." 
Shelton smiled and I felt that old stern attitude of mine begin to rise, 
wondering if Shelton was another guy who saw every attractive girl as an open 
target, regardless if they had a boyfriend or not.

"Thanks." I even allowed a slight smile to escape from the corner of my mouth.
I was fading in and out of the conversation with Shelton and knew he was hitting 
on me big time. I had started to lean away from him as he would lean in, 
something he seemed to pick up on. The other thing to mention is that Shelton 
had that well developed ability to initiate conversation with anyone he chose, 
he could be lighthearted and funny, without coming off as arrogant. 

"You'd be my Girlfriend if Dale hadn't gotten to you first!" He leaned in and 
rubbed shoulders playfully. He meant it by the way Shelton had a major 
fixation/crush/boner for me, but he also knew how to play everything off as just 
innocent flirting so I wouldn't get too offended. You have to be very well in 
tune with what the other person's body language is conveying.

Shelton was boring me and I glanced around and found Nikki, she was chatting 
with a group of guys and she looked over at me, a big smile came over her mouth 
and she gave me a wink. Of course I winked back and reluctantly turned back to 
Shelton, "Shelton" I sighed and looked up at his attentive dark eyes.
 
"If you want to stand here and have a pleasant conversation, we can do that. But 
that's all." My expression became just a tad bit tense, hoping to drive home the 
point.
 
"I totally respect that, but please you're totally not my type." Shelton smirked 
and took a sip of his beer.

I just nodded and smiled at his little word games, "I understand, you're just 
bored with everyone else in the bar and would rather stand here with me to just 
kill time, right?"
  
"Maybe, or maybe the alcohol is really getting to my brain, impairs ones 
judgment you know." He said leaning in close again, his voice low, forcing me to 
lean in and hear him. Another nice trick and I have to admit, the little 
bantering going on was kind of amusing, just don't let your boyfriend or 
girlfriend overhear you doing this! While in my mind it was harmless fun, I've 
seen 'significant others' go ape-shit when they hear such stuff, and then the 
arguments and accusations start to fly about flirting, cheating and all sorts of 
other stuff, all over some innocent banter.

"Hello Stranger." Came the sweet sounding voice to my left and it jarred me to 
find that I almost didn't recognize it. I then felt my lips uncontrollably curl 
into a smile, but a smile that bespoke of something maybe just a little sad at 
the sudden sight of my friend Sharon.
 
"Hello yourself." I gushed and was momentarily dazzled by Sharon's beauty, which 
had the same effect on Shelton who was astounded at having these two gorgeous 
women in front of him, one brunette the other blonde.
 
"Hey girl." Sharon said and leaned in, giving me a light hug. I patted Sharon on 
the back in return.
 
"Pardon us but I have to speak with my friend in private." Sharon leaned around 
my shoulder and spoke at Shelton.

"I'm pissed at you!" Sharon huffed as I was pulled thru the crowd by the arm.
 
"What? Why?" I smiled at how it was starting to sound like the 'old' Sharon.
 
"And why were you flirting with Shelton? I don't' believe you!" Sharon scolded.
 
"I wasn't flirting!" I pinched my eyebrows together defensively. See what I 
mean, this is how bull crap gossip gets started.
 
"Oh yes you were! You let him buy you a drink and I saw you blushing at some 
comments he was making, and he's black!" Sharon leaned in and whispered.
 
"What?" I stammered at what Sharon was implying. "Sharon, I know he's 
Black." 'What the fuck?' I thought privately, 'Does Sharon have something 
against black people now?' although it wouldn't surprise me.
 
"You sly devil when were you planning on telling me about Dale! Oh my god, he is 
like so hot!" Sharon fussed at me as we found a corner of the bar to talk. I 
simply shrugged and sipped on my drink, "It's been awhile since we last talked." 
I raised an eyebrow of concern.
 
"I know, I know, at least a couple of weeks, I'm sorry." Sharon sighed.
 
"A month." I snapped, but quickly restrained my irritation and looked away.
 
"What?" Sharon leaned in.
 
"It's been a month since we've talked or seen one another." I glanced around the 
room, not wanting to get into an argument over the whole thing, or maybe I 
wanted to. Sharon leaned back stood stone faced for a second and nervously 
looked away.
 
"I'm sorry" Sharon said. I acknowledged her apology, but just barely.
 
"I'm really glad you and Dale are doing well, I'm so happy for you! And he's 
like the biggest catch on campus you sly girl!" Sharon leaned in close to speak.
 
"Thanks, things seem to going pretty well so far." I nodded, but I really was 
starting to tune Sharon out, I had started to accept the way things were, 
'Sharon has her life now, doing her own thing, I guess that's fine.' I thought.
 
"I see you're here with all your Soccer buddies." Sharon pointed off into the 
crowd.
 
"Oh, yeah well a few are pretty cool a few others are, well... " I didn't 
finish, not wanting to drop my problems at Sharon's feet, I wanted to show I 
could stand on my own.
 
"I'm really glad your finding your niche here at school, I worry about you, you 
know?" Sharon smiled affectionately and touched my left arm.
 
"Hey Sharon," I sighed and I know a real look of pain came over my face, but I 
leaned over and gave her a warm, tight embrace, "Call me okay?" I whispered into 
her ear and pulled away. Sharon reached out and gripped my hand, and I fought to 
keep my lower lip from trembling as we both allowed our pride to once more get 
in the way. 

"I'll call you!" Sharon called out as I turned away and pushed thru the crowd 
slipping from sight. With a faint tremble of anxiousness, I ran my fingers thru 
my hair, and for a moment I felt lost and a little uneasy with who I was and how 
things had turned out. I stole a glance in the direction I had departed but 
could no longer see her, no matter now, when I turned around I was moving closer 
to Nikki and she saw me coming. She made a quiet exit from the guys she was 
talking with and my right arm went up as her left arm reached for a hug as well, 
we embraced and tried to find an isolated part of the bar.

"I've missed you." I sighed and all my worries seemed to float away with her 
touch and the aroma of her perfume and hair. I wanted to keep my arm wrapped 
around her shoulder and hold her close, but we were being watched, well maybe 
not but we still had to be careful. Nobody knew about us yet, I think! God I 
hope not!

"I've missed you as well." Nikki sighed I could tell she was pretty buzzed from 
the glassy look in her eyes, I stayed secluded with Nik as long as I dare, 
besides Dale was having a blast and not at all paying attention to the time, but 
I was. Nikki was aching for the same thing as me, more physical contact, she was 
talking very close to me, her lips touching my ear and cheek when she would 
speak to me. I took a gulp of my beer and blinked back some tears as I wrapped 
my left arm around her waist and pulled her closer to me praying no one 
connected the dots, I was still petrified that we were being too forward in 
public, even in this crowded bar.

"I want to kiss you." I moaned into her ear.

"I'm so hot for you love." Nikki moaned and I about gasped when she ground her 
crotch against my thigh, and because my back was against the wall, she moved her 
right hand around and rested her palm on my left butt. I was breathing pretty 
heavy and drinking more of my beer now.

"Hey Nik!" I heard Rob's voice call out, he found us and was now getting closer.

"Oh shit." Nikki groaned and we reluctantly pulled away from one another. With 
my back still to the wall Nikki gave my left butt a firm squeeze before pulling 
away. 

I smiled and scanned the room, there was Dale, he caught sight of me as his left 
hand brought a beer up to his lips. I stood with my left wrist held up to signal 
my watch. He sighed and glanced down '10:01pm' and he smiled at me although he 
was a bit frustrated at having to leave I'm sure. I got a few unkind glares from 
his football buddies and some girls as if I was utilizing some form of control 
over Dale, maybe under some kind of spell and I was being too controlling by 
indicting I wanted to leave early.

He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and we walked toward the exit together. 
"Hey Dale!" I heard some girl call out, it was that bitch Tiffany, she was 
giving him her best 'happy face' and 'batting eyelashes', feeling a bit tipsy I 
discretely flipped her the bird with eat shit smirk. I was pretty sure she 
didn't even see it because she only has eyes for Dale, but she then froze and 
gave me a look of pure hostility. Tiffany seemed to be mouthing something at me 
but I had already turned around. Dale gave her a smile and a wave, but he never 
caught the unkind exchange between Tiffany and I. 

I normally don't do petty stuff like that, but like I said my beer-buzz was 
making me feel like a smart-ass.


  
13_College