College 07
By Corbin
How life tests the endurance, patience, and sometimes faith of one young woman.

**********

As the quote goes "It was the best of times, it was the..." blah, blah, blah, 
blah.

Just read on and enjoy this story of little ol' me, the quiet rebel I guess. 

**********

Both Sharon and I headed of to Duke University that fall, each excited, yet 
for very different reasons. The big Collage Campus unnerved me a bit, where as 
Sharon was constantly trying to get involved in new things and thrived on the 
bustle of activity. I was athletically and academically good enough that I 
almost got a full scholarship.  On the positive side, it wasn't difficult to 
makes friends, I was inundated by other people who were just as nervous and 
eager to make friends, yet my primary focus was on studying and nixed the offers 
to attend several 'social activities' for the first few weeks. 

(You like that term 'social activities'? A sophisticated way of saying, let's go 
to this party and get shit faced! I was appalled at the number of Freshman that 
seemed determined to piss away their academic opportunities right into some kind 
of probation because they lacked self control.)

"Hey! What's up!" Claire came bursting into our dorm room. Claire was an 
energetic girl, standing about 5'5" with short multicolored hair which had a 
mix of blonde, brown and black. Even with all of that, she was pretty with 
piercing light green eyes and a nice athletic build.  

"Hey Claire." I forced a smile, still fuming over my argument with Sharon.

"Check it out!" Claire said and then stuck her tongue out at both of us, a 
shiny round tongue stud protruded proudly. "Holy Shit" Sharon laughed 
and stood up to take a closer look, but Sharon always took stuff like that in 
stride nothing seemed to faze her. I on the other hand gawked with my eyes 
bugged out as I leaned forward, like I was watching a car wreck unfold.

"Why did you do that?" I asked in horror. Claire recoiled her tongue and while 
placing her hands on her hips looking at me as if I was clueless, "Why do you 
think?" Claire shook her head and smiled.

"You were bored? Pure shock value?" I sighed. Sharon just smirked at my 
smart ass reply.

"Haha, hoho, haha." Claire replied. "Come'on, take a guess smarty pants." 

"I just did." I cocked my left eyebrow showing my impatience with the 
guessing game.

"You really don't know?" Claire looked at me with bewilderment. I reached 
up with my right hand and ran my fingers thru my long blonde hair with 
frustration several times, shaking my head 'no'.

"Oh, she's serious alright, she has no clue." Sharon said.

"Well..." Claire turned back to me, a pleasurable sneer forming on her face 
as she began, "...besides 'shock value', there are certain oral benefits to 
it."

My face went blank, "I don't understand...never mind, I don't want to 
know." I raised my right hand as if signaling Claire not to proceed any 
further with an explanation.

"It feels good on a man's dick when you give him a blow job and I bet it 
would probably feel good going down on a girl too, might have to try that 
one day." Claire blurted out in a very matter-of-fact-like style as she 
stepped in closer, sticking her tongue out, rolling it back and forth in the air 
playfully. My own mouth parted in shock and I leaned back in my chair, 

"You're joking right, that's not true!" I blurted out.

"Here, you want to touch it!" Claire stepped in and leaned closer to my 
face.

"NO! Get away!" I spun my chair around and hunched over my desk, "I'm 
busy, leave me alone, that's disgusting sick, gross." Claire just laughed 
and Sharon leaned over pulling Claire back by her shoulders, "Okay let's 
go." Sharon just giggled.

"Come on my little blonde friend." Sharon said.

"Yeah, come on." Claire insisted.

"HELLO! I am studying!"

"Oh she is SO coming this time." Claire said looking at Sharon as they both 
smiled at one another. Claire and Sharon each made a grab for one of my 
arms to try and pull me from the desk.

"Hey, hey, stop, wait don't...OKAY! OKAY!" I finally gave in and stood 
up.

"You're not wearing that are you?" Sharon pointed at my clothes. 

I looked down and moaned, "Uhm" as I studied my outfit, but dug my heels in by 
shoving my hands into my pockets and giving a uncaring shrug, "If I'm going, 
this is what I'm wearing."

I got two looks of disdain, why? Because I had on these old baggy jeans and a 
old grey tee shirt, no makeup (I rarely wear makeup anyway) and my old 
flip flops.  But coming from those two? Please! 

"What the hell! What are YOU TWO looking at?" I said, "I'm the one that looks 
normal, you both need to take a long look in the mirror, you're the two dressed 
up like clowns. Makeup, lipstick, hairspray..." I flung my hand toward Sharon 
and Claire as I felt one of my rants coming on.

"Spare me one of your self righteous speeches girlfriend." Claire stood up and 
dismissed me with a wave of her hand, and a smile. Sharon just let out a 
frustrated sigh and stood up, "You clean up real nice, I don't understand why 
you don't wear something sexy and show off that killer body." But Sharon gives 
up and takes me by the arm and drags me out of the dorm room. She doesn't 
normally give up so easy, and by the end of the second semester my attire would 
change a bit, mostly due to Sharon's constant nagging.

"This is going to be so great, you're first big college bash." Sharon said, 
walking with her right arm around my shoulder now. I didn't feel so nervous 
being with Claire and Sharon, I wasn't really friends with Claire all that well 
although we both were on the gymnastics team, so we had gotten to know one 
another. But Claire and Sharon were pledging for the same sorority so they had 
become friends as well.

As for my attire, it really had more to do with being in my comfort zone, then 
it did with rebelling against fashion. I was a nervous wreck heading to this 
party because I am not normally a very social person, so it helped to dress in 
something that I felt comfortable in. 

'Great' I sighed with anxiety as we approached the Fraternity House, it was a 
big, loud party and everyone seemed to know everyone else, 'Maybe I can find a 
corner to disappear into.' Was my first thought, 'No, no, think positive!' I 
told myself.

'Maybe I am a total fashion wreck.' Came my next thought, because I was kind of 
digging some of the very sleek outfits some of these girls were wearing, some 
very simple elegant shorts, skirts and tops. This made feel kind of dumpy in 
my jeans and tee shirt, guess I should have taken Sharon's advice. But even with 
my quiet demeanor and crap attire, I still seemed to draw allot of attention to 
myself. I refused to slouch so I stood pretty tall at almost 5'11", and my even, 
solid, muscular definition from years of gymnastics, track and weight lifting 
was still very pretty evident under my clothes. I guess the long blonde hair had 
a gravitational effect on guys at the party as well. 

I was not at all used to this 'forward' type of behavior, 'Totally different 
from the guys in High School' I thought. Most of the conversation-starters came 
in the attempt to offer me a drink, refill my drink or talk about sports. Allot 
of the guys were shocked I was drinking ice water, often pressuring me into 
something more alcoholic to try and loosen me up some, maybe get me to act a 
little more uninhibited and flirty. But being one of my first big parties, I 
wanted to take in all the sites and sounds, totally sober. Unfortunately, when 
your one of the only sober people in a party full of 'drunks', things can feel a 
bit on the obnoxious side when the alcohol isn't there to dull your senses. 
Several times I found myself having to lean away from guys, that were either 
just close talkers or perhaps just trying to put 'the moves' on me. I marveled 
at the way Sharon seemed to flow in and out of conversation with guys and girls, 
being touchy-flirty one minute while slipping free when their embraces got to 
greedy. Sharon liked to show off her long, athletically lean legs, smooth and 
tan, which caught every man's attention she came in contact with. 

Oddly I found myself missing Eric, maybe I should have gone with him to Penn 
State after all? 

Sharon was pretty attentive to me, while Claire was nowhere to be found. My 
nerves were totally shot though, I had never experienced anything like this 
party; 'Where are the parents?', 'Where are the School Administrators to make 
sure things don't get out of hand!', 'How could so much responsibility be placed 
into the hands of these drunks!!!'

I'm getting very annoyed! 

I HAVE TO GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!!! I am out of my comfort zone!

What happened next didn't initially register with me as I felt the palm of 
someone's hand come to rest on my right hip. I looked down and then up, 
unsure of what was happening as I felt the warm touch track around to the 
front of my belly; "Are you sure I can't get you something else to drink?" 
His voice floated into my left ear canal in such a casual manner that I half 
way thought I should have expected it, but the way this guy was pulling 
me in close, against the front of his body set off my 'personal-space' 
alarms instead; 

"What the fuck!" I spat, not loud but definitely above that of a normal 
speaking tone as my left arm shot up and was then quickly retracted. At 
this point, I wasn't even thinking but reacting and probably not in the most 
logical manner possible, yet I had never been put in this position before 
and assumed this person had the worst of intentions. My elbow drove down 
and into this guys gut with all of my strength, causing his body to almost 
catapult back several feet, knocking into and down, several other people behind 
him.

"FUCK!" Was the only tangible word he could muster, the rest was a 
incoherent babble of moaning curses as he writhed on the floor, his arms 
cradling his torso. Hmmm, wow, must have bulls-eyed his gut on that one, I 
thought.

The music continued to blare, but the entire house had ceased it's partying as a 
disjointed circle formed around me and the fallen guy. The eerie silence was 
broken when the Fraternity president bolted forward to help the guy up, "What 
the fuck happened?" he yelled down at the guy and then looked up at me.

"He grabbed me!" I stammered as I took a step back, my right foot feeling a 
plastic cup crush under my flip flops. The level of chatter started to rise as a 
few other friends of the guy stepped forward to help asses the situation. But 
since most everyone was drunk, there was little to no rational thinking going 
on.

"What happened?" a tall, sandy haired Frat brother asked.

"I was standing and he just came up and grabbed me from behind, I didn't 
know who it was or..." I was literally starting to shake now; totally 
embarrassed and feeling tongue tied, I felt fortunate to be able to get that 
much out as my voice trembled.

The Frat President, Frank I think, had just finished helping the guy up when he 
glared over at me, "Touched you? Where? How?" He asked, but it definitely 
sounded like a challenge, like I was some lunatic that was disrupting their 
party.

"Like here." I said and placed my hand over my stomach.

"Are you fucking kidding me!" Frank yelled, "That's it? That's no reason to 
pile drive your elbow into his gut!" Frank's sentiments were echoed by 
several other guys and girls that immediately began to question and insult 
my analysis of the situation and most importantly my reaction. I was 
nothing more then a deer in headlights at the moment, hoping I would 
vanish into thin air. At the same moment, I felt something rising up inside of 
me, NO I was not going to puke! But a kind of anger, rage, and good ol' Frank 
was about to get a dose of it...

...until Sharon stepped in.

"Shut the fuck up!" Sharon yelled and stepped between the crowd and me, 
"Don't blame her because your inebriated friend decided to cop a feel. 
What the fuck do you expect? To just act like that shit is okay?" Sharon 
then quickly decided to diffuse the situation by taking me by the hand, 
quickly leading my out of the house. I couldn't help but detect a few glares 
of detest from some of the guys and girls as I was led out of the house, 
not to mention a comment or two with reference to me being a simple-
minded thug, or descriptions that essentially equated to such.

"Whew, thanks Sharon." I sighed and took several deep breaths of the cool night, 
but suddenly Sharon stopped and spun around, standing face to face with me, well 
sort of, I am after all a bit taller.

"What the fuck was that back there? You elbow some guy in the gut? What's wrong
with you!" Sharon hissed so as people walking about campus couldn't hear.

"What?" I leaned back in shock, "I don't understand, why are you now..." I 
was perplexed.

But Sharon quickly continued, "Corbin, some guy puts the moves on you and you 
punch him, you don't do that!" Sharon tensed her face.

"I elbowed him." I quietly corrected her.

"What...EVER!" Sharon snapped, "What the hell was that all about?"

"I don't understand, back there you said..."

"Back there I was sticking up for you because you're my friend, but I don't 
agree with what you did!" Sharon jabbed her left finger at me. Oh man, Sharon 
was pissed off all right, she felt like I just might have jeopardized her 
chances of getting into the sorority. But I made no apologizes, I just simply 
frowned and narrowed my eyes.

"Tomorrow, you're going back over there and apologize!" Sharon poked 
her finger into my right shoulder again with more authority which was starting 
to irritate me.

"You've lost your mind, I'm not doing that!" I snapped and smacked 
Sharon's hand away with my right hand, my heart pounded violently as I 
stepped around my friend. Sharon stood motionless, like a statue 
at what I just said, "I'm not apologizing to anyone." I continued talking as I 
walked away.

"What did you say to me?" Sharon seethed from behind me and I could hear her 
quickly walking up behind me.

"You heard me" I replied, "Unless English is your second language." I sighed, 
feeling that smart-ass, kick-your-ass Corbin starting to come out in me, after 
all, that angry-me was still simmering just below the surface so Sharon better 
get her attitude in check.

"How dare you." Sharon jerked on my left arm, "You had better stop and answer 
me, I don't deserve that after all the crap I do for you." But I just calmly 
stared right at her.

"Then don't..." I jerked my arm free and leaned in close to Sharon's face which 
caused her to take a step back, "...invite me to anymore of your stupid parties, 
and stop doing things for me. I never asked you to do anything for me, and I 
certainly don't fit into your socialite world Sharon." I turned and continued my 
fast track to the dorm.

But I did catch a brief look of shock on Sharon's face right before I spun 
around and started walking.

Suddenly, all doubt was erased, I no longer had a moments reservation about what 
I said or did and as I sat down on my bed. Unfortunately another realization was 
setting in, something Sharon has said; 'After all the crap I do for you.' 
replayed in my mind. That statement seemed to say so much to me, as if Sharon 
valued my relationship based on how much appreciation I showed in return, 'As if 
it's a privilege to be her friend'.

I glanced around the room I shared with Sharon, my eyes began to drift casually 
from the chair, to the desk, the window, observing how the soft yellowish glow 
from my desk lamp gave the room a warm, cozy quality. 

"All alone, oh well." I mumbled at the realization that I was 17 years old, in 
College and still as big of a social misfit as ever. Finally, I gave a lingering 
stare to the door, Sharon had not followed me back to the room to talk things 
out, to resolve things, another bitter realization that my 'best friend' had 
most likely chosen to go back to the party.

'What a mess' I thought and then had a strong urge to call Eric. It was late, 
but I figured he would be up, partying, doing something, he's a social guy, 
probably already got a new girlfriend too. We stayed in touch, but I didn't want 
to try and do the long distance dating thing, much to his dismay.

Fourth ring and it will probably go to voicemail, "Hello?" came the voice, 
"Corbin is that you!" crap he answered the phone! I wasn't expecting him too, 
there was allot of noise in the background, a bar or a party, or something was 
going on.

"Yep it's me." I sighed and smiled a little.

"Hold on, let me go outside." 

We had a nice talk, he was that kind of sweet guy, who would drop anything he 
was doing to help me out.


**********

OK, after Sharon acted like a total jerk to me last night, she wanted to take me 
to breakfast the next morning. She felt bad, and damn right she should feel bad. 
She was the one that dragged me to that stupid party, I felt no remorse for how 
I handled that dumb-ass-frat-boy, sending his punk ass sprawling all over the 
floor.

Once we got settled into our booth at the diner, Sharon looked up at me and 
started in, "We'll, you've done it now." Sharon finally said after a much 
exaggerated 'sigh'.

"Done what?" I looked up from the just served breakfast platter of a bagel 
and nova.

"That little stunt of yours last night, combined with the way you turn down 
invites, you're getting a reputation as being a VERY stuck up, square girl." 
Sharon leaned in and drew a square in thin air with her finger. 

"Oh, I don't care about that." I shrugged, while spreading some cream 
cheese on my bagel. But that was a partial lie, but it was more important 
that I keep my emotional defenses up at the moment.

"You don't care? Corbin look, I'm trying to make inroads into this College, 
trying to build a future for myself and make new friends, not just go to class 
and collect grades." Sharon's face was blushing a bit with emotion as she delved 
right into the matter at hand.

"I have sports." I wrinkled I brow at the insult and gave a shrug.

"Just gymnastics!" Sharon waved a hand in the air as a quick dismissal.

"And Soccer." I raised an eyebrow.

"Soccer?" Sharon repeated dumbfounded, "What about gymnastics? Where the fuck 
did Soccer come from?" she asked with concern.

"Well, there are several reasons behind that decision; First, I've been 
playing with some of the girls on the field, you know just messing around, 
and it turned out I'm a little quicker then some of the ones who have been 
doing it for years. And my strength seems to give me an advantage also 
and I have more endurance then allot of them too, which is strange 
because of the amount of running on the field, but I don't think they really 
take care of themselves as well I do. So, I guess that's why I'm in better 
shape."

"So just like that, they are going to let you be on the team? And what 
about your gymnastics!"

"The past few years have been allot tougher then you realize Sharon, I've 
grown taller and filled out. It's gotten allot harder on my body and joints to 
perform all of those routines, I just can't keep up with those freaky little 
girls flipping and flying thru the air, well not freaky, but their smaller frame 
size is tough to compete against."

"We'll you're just naturally muscular, maybe if you went on a strict diet to 
get thinner, did you think about that?" Sharon spoke as I watched her stab 
her salad with a fork.

"A strict diet?" I almost spit my food out of my mouth, "I'm like five-foot-
ten or eleven as it is Sharon! I'm an Amazon compared to those girls on the team 
and I think I carry my build just fine and I'm not going to torture myself with 
diets hoping to force my 'square' body into a 'round' hole. It just won't 
work and as for getting on the Soccer Team, I'll have to wait for tryouts 
and start practicing and stuff, but the Coach, he's kind of started to take 
notice of me, so I think they might pull some strings."

"Oh, THE COACH has started to notice you, we'll isn't that special, I bet he 
noticed you alright." Sharon snickered to herself.

"That's terrible." I said, "Nothing of the sort goes on like that!" I acted 
totally repulsed and shocked.

"Oh, you're so correct, what a totally shocking suggestion. Some facility 
member drooling over a female student, that is so unheard of!" Sharon 
shook her head in mock disgust.

"Can we change the subject!" I leaned across the table.

"Yeah, we need to, so let's get back to the matter at hand." Sharon sipped 
on her glass of water.

"Forget it." I said in a firm voice.

"Forget what?" Sharon looked up.

"I am not apologizing, because I know this is where you are going. Also, You've 
been acting like a really big ASS and it's starting to piss me off!" 
Damn, I was in rare form this morning, and why not, Sharon was getting mouthy 
around me lately and she needed to be put in her place.

In response to my outburst, my friend sat in silence, more like shocked silence 
as Sharon tended to get quiet when I would really get mad. Her lips tensed as 
she sat back in her booth and began to fidget with the napkin. Her eyes got a 
little teary as her hand nervously picked her fork up played some more with the 
salad. 

"I'm sorry." Sharon finally said and her look turned soft and emotional. 

But I would have none of it, my temper was starting to boil and I was fed up, 
"You can shove your 'sorry'!" and I quickly looked down at my purse, sitting off 
to my right all the while my heart pounded in my chest. My jaw flexed as I 
reached in withdrawing my share of the lunch and threw some cash on the table.

"I've got it!" Sharon quipped as also grabbed her purse.

"Whatever." I said and slid out of the both to stand up and leave.

"Wait, where are you going?" Sharon fumbled now for her purse and 
looked up in shock.

"I'm not going to sit around and argue, banter, whatever! No thank you, you've 
wasted enough of my morning already!" I quickly walked down the row of booths, 
several male students pausing and watching as we walked by.

"I said I was sorry!" Sharon called out after me.

I glared over my shoulder and shot back, "So what!" as if the apology didn't 
make anything better, Sharon's attempt to verbally settle things was not 
going to work this time. I stepped out into the sidewalk in front of the cafe, 
I turned to my right and started walking back towards campus, a cool wind 
caught me head on and it felt good as I took a deep breath.

"Corbin! Wait!" I heard Sharon call out, and a couple of seconds later the 
brunette was at my side, "I can't believe you just walked out like that!" 
Sharon huffed.

"You see me walking don't you? I'm not going to argue with you Sharon, I'm sick 
of it, and all your blah, blah, blah, bullshit!"

"Don't say that, I hate it when you do that! And besides, I don't want to argue 
either!" She pleaded. 

I suddenly stopped and pointed right into Sharon's face, causing her to stop 
abruptly with a look of shock, "I'm not going to be insulted or blamed for any 
of this, nor do I want to listen to your belittling backhanded apologies!" and 
then started walking away again. For you folks that don't understand the 
importance of this conversation, let me try to explain, this is typical of the 
little petty power-play thing going on between us, and it felt good to have 
Sharon groveling for my attention and forgiveness. We both had strong 
personalities in certain areas, but that is what forged our love-hate 
relationship with one another. 

"I'm sorry, okay, look will you stop!" Sharon tugged on the back of my 
shirt. Finally, I started to slow down and looked around silently pointing to 
a small common area with a bench to sit on. We quietly walked over to 
have a seat, a large oak provided some shade from the bright sun. Sharon 
collected her thoughts, "I really mean it, I am sorry, okay? Oh god," Sharon 
leaned forward and cradled her face into her hands, she took a deep breath and 
sat back against the bench, "I wish I could take it all back, I was just being 
mean bitch, okay?" Sharon placed her left arm on top of the backrest before 
speaking, "Gheesh, this is as bad as any boyfriend, with all the female baggage 
as well." Sharon moaned.

I had to fight off a smile at that last comment, Sharon's left hand then 
stretched out, over the back of the bench and gently stroked my bicep. I glanced 
down at the touch and sighed, it was soothing and amazingly allot of my 
hostility seemed to evaporate with one simple physical act.

I sat up and leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees, Sharon began to rub 
and pat my back, "I know school and everything has been stressful for you." 
Sharon leaned closer in, "But I shouldn't have been so rude during lunch, I've 
been really mean, I'm sorry." 

This was a big deal for Sharon as I watched her, at least in my own mind it was. 
Sharon had burned thru more friendships in her life because of that take-charge, 
'fuck you', bitchy attitude. Yet I felt some sense of urgency now on her part, 
wanting to nurture our friendship, it felt good to see her make so much effort. 

My eyes drifted idly over the long blades of green grass around my sandals, "I'm 
sorry too." I reached over with my right hand placed and placed it on Sharon's 
bare left knee.

"We'll good, I'm glad that's settled!" Sharon straightened and smiled, "And 
we both agree I was right and you were wrong." 

We both laughed at that comment. Sharon stood up and adjusted her purse over her 
shoulder, "Let me know when your trying out for practice, I'll come watch and 
cheer you on!" Sharon pumped her left hand in the air and kicked her left foot 
out in a little impromptu Cheer salute.

(Good grief, that conversation was painful, now you know why I don't always dump 
my thoughts at Sharon's doorstep, she loves to beat things to death! Talk...talk 
and talk some more! Anyway, things seem to be going better for me right? Well 
you just wait. Oh, and if you've guessed by now that I sound naive back in High 
School and College, well bingo you win a door prize, I was very naive. But that 
has all changed over the years.)


  
07_College