LOVE AT FIRST SNIFF
Author: Closet Fetishist
Story Codes: nosex flatu fart
"Well, good night."
"Good night," I mumbled, almost inaudibly.
I slumped away from my ex-date's door and headed
outside from her apartment building; the brisk air
taking my breath away for just a moment. As I got in
my car, I planned the rest of my evening which
consisted of nothing more than masturbating and going
to bed.
Sunday: I didn't wake up until 1:00 and when I did, I
had an unusual hankering for Starbucks. I threw on a
shirt and some jeans and headed out the door; I'd walk
there today.
"Yeah, Venti Mocha Frappuccino."
"Okay. That'll be, $6.89."
I mumbled something negative about the price as I
pulled out my wallet and handed over a ten dollar
bill.
"Here's your change."
I snatched the money away from the cashier and grabbed
a seat. The place was nearly packed but I managed to
get a nice seat near the pick-up point so I could get
my drink and leave quickly. I hated those people who
just 'hung around' there like it was cool or some
shit.
As I sat there, staring off into space I noticed a
very beautiful woman come in. She wore long gray pants
with high heels and a low-cut professional-looking
blouse. She was gorgeous; I was instantly captivated
by her as she walked, confidently, to the counter. I
took care not to stare at her, however, this became
difficult when she was soon standing right at my
table, no doubt waiting for her drink. She turned and
looked at me and my eyes went wide a bit, as if I had
been caught, even though I really wasn't doing
anything.
"Do you mind if I sit here?" she asked, pointing to
the empty chair across from me.
"Wha...ye...yeah...sure," I managed to stutter out.
"Thanks, I've been on my feet all day," she explained
as she took a seat, showing me her well formed
cleavage as she bent forward to sit.
"Oh? At work?"
"Yeah."
"Where do you work?
"Wells Fargo, just down the street."
"Ah, I bank at CitiBank," I said, stupidly. I almost
literally kicked myself after that one.
"I see," she replied, smiling at me. "So what do you
do?"
"Me? I...uh...I'm a writer."
"Really? What have you written?"
I had to maintain my composure on this one; I couldn't
very well tell her I wrote adult fiction stories, or
could I? Maybe but, now wasn't the time to test that
out. I decided to stay vague.
"Um...well, I really haven't written anything too high
profile, just a few minor novels, they do okay at the
bookstores." Super smooth, I thought to myself.
"Hm...," she replied. I could tell she wanted to get
deeper into it but she didn't pursue the issue.
"So, are you on break or something?"
"No, I actually just got off, that's the good part
about working the morning shift; you get off with much
of the afternoon still ahead of you."
"That does sound worthwhile."
"I tend to think so."
We sat in silence for a few seconds, both of us
thinking of what to say next. "So do you have specific
hours or anything?" she asked.
"No, not really...deadlines; I got those but no real
specific hours that I have to work."
"That must be nice."
"Yeah, it's alright. A little lonely sometimes but, I
got used to it. Been thinking about getting a dog,
just some one to interact with a bit."
"Sounds awful," she said, recoiling a bit. I obviously
came on too strong as a sad sack.
"Eh, it's okay. I'm not that hard up."
She smiled nervously. I was afraid I blew everything
so I decided to just sit in silence for a bit. The
awkwardness was only broken by the occasional yell of
names from the Starbucks employees when people's
drinks were ready.
"Greg, Venti Mocha Frappuccino!"
"That's me," I said to the woman at my table, as I got
up to grab my drink. I returned to the table.
"So, your name is Greg?"
"Yeah, what's yours?"
"Kim, Venti Double Half-Caf!"
"That's me."
"Kim, huh?" I asked her as she got up and got her
drink.
"Yeah."
"That's a pretty name."
"Well thank you, I've always liked it."
"So you getting out of here?"
"Yeah, you wanna walk with me?"
"Sure, I'd be honored."
Together, we walked out of Starbucks and down the
street continuing our small talk along the way.
Eventually, we were standing outside my apartment. I
didn't want her to leave, and she didn't seem too
eager to leave anyways so we just kept talking.
"So this is your apartment building?"
"Yeah."
"It's nice," she said, nodding.
"Yeah, it's alright."
"So, uh..."
Before I could say more, Kim lost her footing and dove
into me, her coffee drink spilling all over me.
"Oh man," she said, wiping it up with the napkin she
had with her, "I'm so sorry!"
"Nah, nah, don't worry about it, this shirt has seen
better days anyways. You've given it some character,"
I said, smiling.
She laughed, "I am really sorry about that."
"Psh, don't think another thing of it."
"So what were you gonna say before I became Ms. Clumsy
all over you?"
"Oh...no, I was just gonna ask you if you wanted to
come up for a bit, see my apartment."
"I don't know..."
I just looked at her and shrugged.
"You know what, sure, I'd love to."
"Great, follow me."
"Wow, this is really nice," she said as we walked in.
"You think so?"
"Oh, yeah, I really do."
"Well, thanks. Hey, just make yourself comfortable for
a minute while I get changed," I said as I headed into
the bedroom.
"Okay, and again, I'm really sorry about that."
"Don't worry one more second about it, it was just an
accident."
As I changed my shirt, a terrible thought crept into
my mind; I left a lot of my notes and stuff about on
my desk, if she got into them she'd probably think I
was some kind of sexual freak or something. I quickly
threw on a shirt and dashed into the main room. I
didn't see her at first, until I heard the fridge door
shut.
"Sorry, I hope it's alright, I just wanted some
water."
"Oh...yeah...sure."
"Thanks, Starbucks is good but it tends to make me
thirsty."
"Yeah, now that you mention it, my chest is pretty
thirsty."
She turned and looked at me, giving me a half-angry,
half-smiling look.
"So you live here alone?" she asked me, taking a seat
on my couch. I joined her.
"Yup, all by my lonesome."
A silence filled the small apartment for a few
moments.
"You like music?" I asked her.
"Yeah, I love music."
"Here, let me play you one of my favorites."
I went over to the computer and put on Moment in Love
by The Art of Noise.
"You like The Art of Noise?"
"Yeah, they are one of my favorites."
"Mine too," she said, enthusiastically.
"I just love all kinds of smooth jazz songs,"
"Oh me too, just so relaxing and wonderful to listen
to aren't they?"
"Yeah, they really are," I said, taking a place on the
couch again.
Silence again as we both searched for what else we
could talk about.
"So do you have any of your writing work here? Because
I'd love to look at some of it."
"Oh, well...I don't really have any of the books
here."
She looked at me cockeyed, "Come on, I don't know a
single writer who doesn't have their published books.
What are you trying to hide? Are you embarrassed?"
"No, it's not so much that, it's just...can you keep
an open mind?"
"Sure I can."
"Okay, well..." I struggled to find the 'most
appropriate' words, "I tend to write...eh...adult
fiction stories."
"Smut stories?"
"I wouldn't necessarily agree with the term but
essentially, yeah, that's it." I paused, gauging her
response. "Are you upset?"
"Well I can't say I'm jumping for joy but hey, I enjoy
the occasional dirty story as much as the next girl."
I smiled nervously.
"So can I read one?"
"Uh...well, yeah, I guess so," I said, as I got up
from the couch and went to the bookshelf. I grabbed
one of my favorite stories off the shelf and handed it
to her. "You may find some objectionable stuff in
there; I hope you understand I don't necessarily agree
with it, it's just for the narrative sake."
"Thanks for the disclaimer," she said, smiling.
I watched her scan the pages, her face turning from
happy to confused to perhaps a little disgusted at
times.
"Well, it's interesting to be sure."
"Yeah?"
"Do you really picture women as these evil bitches who
just go around beating up men for no real reason?"
"No, like I said, it's just the story, a lot of people
like that thing?"
"Like you?"
The question came so bluntly and so quickly that I was
caught off guard. I didn't know what to say, I just
froze.
She looked at me standing there, obviously searching
for words, and she smiled. "Lay on the couch," she
said, forcefully.
"What?" I asked.
"You heard me, lay on the couch!" She commanded.
I quickly did as I was told.
"I think you need to be punished for your slandering
of women."
"But I haven't..."
"Shut up!" She yelled, cracking a smile for a second.
It was so quick I had to ask myself if it was real or
I had just imagined it. "You want a bitch?! You're
gonna get a bitch!"
I watched as she peeled off her gray work pants and
stood there in her black thong.
"Now what does little Greggy like?" She asked as she
flipped through the pages of the book. "A little
slapping? Some ball squeezing? No, he's probably the
super pervert and wants me to sit on his face. Am I
right?"
Surprisingly, she was spot on. I nodded in response to
her question.
"I thought so, you pervert! Like a strong women
sitting on your face, not letting you breathe until
she feels like it?"
I nodded again.
"Well, good, because that is exactly what you're gonna
get."
I watched, in awe, as she ascended the couch and
turned her back to me, presenting me with an
incredible view of her perfect ass as she lifted her
blouse slightly.
She turned around and saw me eyeing her ass, "You like
my ass?"
"Yeah, I do."
"Good, your face and my butt are going to get very
well acquainted."
She lowered her ass to my face and sat, forcefully.
"Ah yes, this is nice," she said as she sat harder,
forcing my face farther up her butt.
Just as I imagined in my fantasies, it was difficult
to breathe in between a woman's cheeks. I slowed my
breathing down and she seemed to enjoy that as she
moaned softly.
I reached down to my pants but she slapped my hand
away.
"No masturbating, not unless I say so, got it?"
I nodded my head under her and I placed my hands on
her hips.
I don't know what came over me during the next minute
or so but I had an incredible urge to lick her ass.
That was never an action I imagined doing but, in this
position, it seemed almost required in a way. I stuck
my tongue out and licked her once, very quickly.
She bounced up a bit, startled, before rising up off
my face.
"What was that?" She asked, laughing a bit.
"I...uh...licked you. I'm sorry" I said, nervously.
She laughed, "Don't be, I just wasn't sure what you
were doing; I didn't happen to see that in your book.
Let me take off my panties so you can really get in
there."
I watched in amazement as she slipped off her thong.
She was surprisingly open to all this, presumably,
freaky shit.
As her ass came down again she said, "There now,
please feel free to tongue my asshole."
I smiled to her just before her ass engulfed my face.
I did tongue her ass a few more times and she seemed
to enjoy it.
Minutes later, "Hey, stick your nose next to my
asshole!" She commanded.
I didn't argue, I did as I was told. She seemed
satisfied.
"Now, breathe deep and slow, okay?"
I nodded softly.
I heard her grunt a bit before she pushed out a
massive fart, right up my nose. PRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPP!
"Ah, now that felt good. I've been holding that in
since the coffee shop."
Oh my god! The fart was so terrible and yet so
wonderful at the same time. I deeply inhaled its
extreme potency. I was truly in heaven now.
After a few seconds she rose up again, off my face.
"I hope that wasn't too stinky for you," she said,
smiling.
"Oh my god, Kim," I said, between breaths. "That was
amazing! I loved every second of your sweet fart."
"Really?"
"Oh yes, really."
"Well, then I'm sure you wouldn't mind some more
then," she said, laughing as she spread her cheeks
wide and sat again, putting my nose as close to her
asshole as possible.
She sighed in relief as her ass pressed down hard on
my head. It was a bit painful but well worth it. I
could tell she was getting into this as well.
BRAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPP!
"Ah, sniff that one!"
I did as I was told and smelled the terrible gas she
blew my way. It made me a little lightheaded but I
loved it.
"God, I could do this all day," she said as she blew
another fart, smaller this time. BRRRPP!
And we did do it all day. Before either of us knew it,
it was 10:00 p.m.
We sat on the couch, her still butt naked with her
blouse on, both of us exhausted; I more than her,
naturally.
"That was great," I said, piercing the silence.
"Yeah, it was rather nice wasn't it? Is this your
first time?"
"Don't tell my readers but yeah, it is. I'd never had
anything done to me like that before."
"Your secret is safe with me," she said, smiling.
"You did all that like a pro, have you done this
before?"
"No, I haven't but I've always kinda thought about
dominating a man and I guess I just kind of winged it
when the time came."
"Well, you were amazing. You should do fetish movies."
"You really think so?"
"Oh yeah, people would pay big bucks to watch that."
"Maybe we could do it together."
I looked at her, stunned, "Really?"
"Yeah, why not?"
I just looked at her and shrugged affirmatively.
Silence filled the room again for several minutes. We
were still very much strangers yet after all that we
were probably closer than most.
"So..." she started to say, "You showed me your main
room...wanna show me the bedroom?" She asked, smiling.
I looked at her, puzzled. "Don't...don't you have work
in the morning?" It was a stupid question. Here was a
woman who was more than ready to get in bed with me
and I was pushing her away.
"Fuck 'em," she said, plainly. "Besides, I owe you for
not letting you get off earlier."
I smiled before I stood up off the couch and she did
the same. Together, we both walked into the bedroom
and I shut the door behind us.
I slowly opened my eyes, the sun permeating the room.
I rolled over next to me and saw...nothing.
"What the fuck!" I yelled. Was it all just a dream? I
asked myself. I slapped the bed hard in frustration. I
turned to look at the clock, 12:30.
I scratched my head as I threw off the sheets. At
least I'd have a good story out of this, I thought.
Suddenly, I heard the door to my apartment open and
then shut. I rushed into the main room to find Kim, in
my kitchen, with Jack in the Box bags.
"Hey, I thought I'd grab us a late breakfast."
I looked at her, my head cocked to the side.
"What?" She asked.
I shook it off, "Nothing."
"Well, then let's eat, I'm starving."
I walked over, grabbed the bags, and took them to the
small table. She came and joined me there.
Together we sat there, eating. It was then I knew I
had found the person for me. She confirmed it with a
small fart.
We both laughed.