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Sam’s Summer Vacation Dear Chastity — I haven’t heard from you for a while and hope things are all right. I haven’t been a very good correspondent myself. So much has been happening here. My aunt and all her family are fun to be with. They don’t take life as seriously as mom, perhaps it’s money because they have more, perhaps it’s because their children are younger, and college isn’t looming. But anyway, we go out and do things, go to museums, concerts, there have been some free Shakespeare on the Mall productions. We saw The Taming of the Shrew the weekend after I arrived. Washington is a strange city. The museum complexes, the old Smithsonian, the new museum which has stuff about technology, the space museum, are all right. I love the National Gallery and the Freer the best. I had never seen a ghetto before. Washington has tremendous wealth and poverty side by side. It was while eating lunch at the National Gallery two weeks ago, they have a cafeteria in the basement, that I met Nathalie. It was incredible. I was sitting there reading, my meal done, and I heard a voice. “May I join you?” I looked up and I think I gulped. There was an incredibly beautiful woman, she wasn’t much older than me, maybe college. You couldn’t call her a girl. “Sure,” I said, pushing my tray to the side. Nathalie sat down, looked up to me and smiled. “I’ve noticed you in the galleries.” I think I was still gulping. I hadn’t seen her at all, though I tend to become pretty focused and not much else besides the artwork intrudes. “It was in the Freer. In front of that lovely chrysanthemum scroll.” She took a bite of her salad, “Everyone else is pretty old, and most of the men are positively icky.” She smiled. “You’re gorgeous.” Goodness, Chastity, do you have a twin sister? I laughed and said, “You are gorgeous, I’m dowdy.” “Hardly.” Nathalie took a sip of her coffee. “When I’m done would you want to go out and walk? I’m dying for a cigarette.” I don’t think her eyes ever left my face. I was sinking, Chastity. I nodded my head, too quickly I think since I was rattled. “Yes, I’ve been inside all morning, it’d be nice to go out.” “Are you from Washington?” Nathalie’s eyes still hadn’t left my face. “Pardon me for staring, but I find you absolutely fascinating to look at.” I was sunk. I could go on and on, it was a beautiful afternoon. We walked and talked. She found I was free until five when my aunt would pick me up. We ended up at her apartment in Georgetown, she’s going to the university like I expected, and talked about books (I was reading Shirer’s Rise and Fall), the Eichmann trial, life and art. In the midst of everything I lost my virginity and drank coffee for the first time. I’ll forgo cigarettes. Nathalie waited with me for my aunt to pick me up. We’d done our kissing before we left the apartment which was weird. I wanted to never let go. Nathalie said she’d be there tomorrow and was when my aunt dropped me off on her way to work. It was the strangest night in my life, that night after loving. My body was placid, but the smallest breath of air could raise white caps, I wanted to do a zillion things, I wanted to sit and dream. I think I said Nathalie’s name in my mind a million times at least. I looked in the mirror and maybe I was a little taller. A little thinner. Maybe I’m not done growing up. I couldn’t sleep. I never realized sex could be like that. I never thought it could get better. Nathalie was there when my aunt dropped me off. My aunt waved at her like they were good friends, though they’ve never met, and drove off for her job. Nathalie smiled at me, “How about I show you Leuuenhoek’s microscope at the old Smithsonian? We’ll look at that strange exhibit of the stuffed dog and the pigeon with one leg, war heroes. I wonder why they don’t stuff the men? Would that help us detest it more? I hate war.” She took my hand. “I’m babbling, the news today of advisors dead in Vietnam, body counts, was torture for me.” She looked over at me and smiled. “I’m about to cry because you’re willing to still be with me.” “I wouldn’t have thought it possible, but you’re even more beautiful today.” I squeezed Nathalie’s hand. She tried to smile and tears came to her eyes. We sat outside the museum, Nathalie having one of her cigarettes, after seeing the dog and the microscope. The microscope was so small. The museum was a hodgepodge of stuff, a plane hung from the tower, dummies in uniforms, you never knew what you’d bump into next. I couldn’t wait any longer. “Well?” “Well what?” “When can we go back to your apartment, your, as my friend Chastity would call it, den of perdition?” I smiled at Nathalie and winked. “I get wet just looking at you.” Nathalie laughed. “Are you sure?” She got up and brushed off her dress. “Yes.” I got up, too. I leaned close to her. “I’m not wearing underwear. Is the grass sizzling where I sat? I’m afraid to look.” “Oh.” “I figured if they were going to come off anyway why put them on.” I took Nathalie’s hand. “Is there a bus or something or must we spend hours walking?” I gave her hand a tug. “I don’t think I can wait much longer.” “Oh my,” she laughed. “Yes.” “While we’re running I’ll tell you about my friend Chastity. If I had one of her caché sex things I would have done without the dress.” So I’ve been spending days with Nathalie, last weekend, too, all night Friday, Saturday and Sunday. My aunt just laughed and said, “I’m glad you’ve found a friend.” I don’t know what I would have done if she’d said no. It’s been wonderful. Nathalie, for all her forward ways is also very shy. I woke up Saturday morning, her auburn hair was across my arm, her hand on my belly, slowly moving. She prefers to have the lights out when we make love. I would like to bring every lamp and candle she has into her bedroom. Well, you know what sex is like, Chastity, so I don’t need to go on about that. Spending so much time with Nathalie has been good in other ways too. Her interest is European history. Her father does something at an embassy here and she speaks several languages. Her upbringing has been so unlike my own. My mom never had much money. We’ve moved, but around the Midwest, not across oceans. I struggle through French at school, it’s a breeze for her. We can talk about things. It’s not just the sex. We talk about things. We drink a lot of coffee. Spend hours in bed, stumble outside for lunch at a cafe or some bread and cheese to bring home. We went to a film Saturday night, a thing by Fellini. I didn’t understand it but I liked it. We could hold hands and snuggle in the dark theater. We’ve wandered the bookstores of Georgetown. Spent an afternoon walking along the canal. I couldn’t wait any longer and dragged Nathalie off into the bushes. You’ve been a good influence on me. She is terribly shy, as I said, about some things. And about others, she isn’t. Nathalie has finished her cigarette, she thinks that I’ve been writing too long to you. She’s knelt down on the floor under the table, she’s gently pushed my legs apart. I think my going about naked gives her ideas. She is starting to do wonderful things to me. Chastity I have to go. Love, Sam PS Whoops, sorry for the pen slip there, Nathalie says hi. “OK already, I’m done.” I’m giving her hair a playful tug. “How about on the floor here?” Love, Sam Hours later. Chastity, rereading this I see I haven’t even given you an idea of Nathalie, of how she looked the first time I saw her. She sat there at the table across from me. Her head was tilted slightly forward, her eyes, her lips smiled in a way impossible to describe. She held her cup of coffee in both hands, she has slender fingers, she has slender, expressive fingers. She lifted the cup to her lips and sipped. She seemed never to blink. Her eyes are so large and brown with arched brows, black like her hair. Her smooth, shiny black hair framed her face. I want to cry. L. your Sam.
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