The Downward Spiral
By Apollo
Copyright 2002

Chapter one: It Begins

You may read this and think I’m some sort of monster or pervert, truth is I lost the ability to really make that call at some point but I can’t exactly put my finger on when exactly I lost it.  I started out life in a very conservative family that lived in a very conservative neighborhood that was in a very conservative town in a very conservative state.  I was a geek growing up.  Now a days, people would argue that, but I was.  I mean you cannot be Six feet and two inches tall and weigh just a hair over one hundred pounds without really being a geek, at least in other people’s minds.  The point of that is I spent a good deal of time in my own world more or less as a kid, so that by the time I got to the Lord of the Flies type of experience high school in south Texas was, I still had an active imagination.  Unfortunately for me, all romance was in my head.  I was a virgin right up through most of my college years as I kept falling madly in love with women that were about as interested in me as they in eating an excrement sandwich.  So, Rosy Palm and me got on a pretty good relationship.  I had decided, early in my masturbatory career, that if actual intercourse required lubrication (I read far too many encyclopedias, National Geographic, and PBS specials not to know the mechanics of intercourse) then flogging the Bishop should get lubrication as well, and I trusted Johnson and Johnson with keeping the old wedding tackle intact by using their baby oil to protect little Willy.  Being as how skinny I was I never ever thought of comparing size of my twig and two bits.  I just assumed they were smaller then normal.  So, my life rolled on, church, home, school until I was 24 years of age.  By then I was beyond hopeless in finding “the one” and I bought a PC and got on the internet, I think subconsciously looking for “the one night stand” instead.  Regardless of my unthinking reasons I soon found myself getting propositions.  Being as I am a man, they all intrigued me.  Finally as yet another “nice Christian girl” ripped out my heart and carelessly stopped its romantic beatings with a slender flat shoe, I took one. 
Now this was around 1994, and, I’ll be honest, I wasn’t afraid she’d be ugly so much as I was afraid I’d end up the subject of one of those discovery channel specials on the unidentified and horribly mutilated remains that were discovered in a cranberry marsh near Boston.  Boston’s Logan Airport, by the way, was where she was going to pick me up.  She had a picture of me so she could find me but I was clue less on her, you can probably guess why.  I should have written her name down but I don’t remember it now, so we’ll just call her Donna.  When I got to Boston, Donna had come with a friend and I had high hopes the friend was Donna.  It wasn’t.  Donna was heavy, not disgustingly so, but she looked as if she had fallen from the ugly tree and landed in the acne bush.  I was only here for three days so, I figured I could suck it up and survive.  We met Donna’s gay friends.  I had to check my tickets to make sure I hadn’t been diverted to hell.  Nope, just Boston.  As we leave Boston, she informs me we’ll be spending the three nights I’m in town at her parents.  Well, I guess it can get worse.  Then it did. 
“You’re quiet.”  She said. 
“Well, I’m nervous, I guess.”  Actually I’m wondering if I can kick myself in the balls to remember what a bad idea flying to meet a complete stranger is. 
“Well, let’s talk.”  We had talked on the phone before this unmitigated disaster, so the conversation was easy enough to feign interest in.  Now I have a problem.  I came up here intending to end 24 years of being a virgin and I wasn’t about to do that now, but I was now overly horny.  We got to her house late and now I’m talking pretty easy and I’m able to convince her that I’m not disgusted by her as she shows me her bedroom, at least I thought I was.  
“Prove it.”  She says as her arms go around me.  Ah crap!  I can tell by the way she’s looking at me she wants a kiss.  If I kiss her, she is going to get horny herself.  Why you ask?  Well, because I’m a good kisser.  I don’t think that because anyone has told me I am, I’m saying it because I have never ever kissed a girl but that she didn’t all but drag my hand to her breast.  I learned to kiss girls from all the girls I hung out with in high school.  They didn’t see me as a dateable man so they’d answer my questions about sexual stuff honestly and I learned from it.  Now I have to kiss this unappealing young woman or live on the streets of gay Boston for three days.  So I kissed her. 
Part of my problem here is that I get lost in a kiss, and maybe that’s why women enjoy it so much.  I know a good number of my fellow men kiss with a goal clearly in mind.  I kiss just because it feels good to do it.  Why is that a problem?  I’m glad I asked.  It’s a problem because I get aroused in the process and if the woman I am kissing allows herself to get lost in said kiss then she gives subtle physical signals that I pick up on and almost instinctively move forward in.  It didn’t take long before Donna was giving those subtle signals pressing against me stroking areas such as my ass moaning quietly into my ear.  My hands started moving on her as we kissed.  I could lie here and say that I stripped her shirt off like a pro, but in the interests of not over embellishing my sexual prowess, I managed to unbutton her blouse with an acceptable level of difficulty.  Donna was built a bit widely and this is what led to the illusion that she was near the gross side of being over weight was her loose fitting blouse.  As my hands roamed over her body, I could tell she was heavy but not what I would actually call fat.  We continued the long slow deep kiss and my hands roamed over her bra.  My fingers sent the message to my brain that something was in-between the cups that felt more rigid than any stitch.  A front hook!  Now the higher functions of my brain were totally enslaved to the lower as I would be able to actually lay eyes and hands on the same pair of breasts at the same time.  Since it was a front hook, getting the bra open would be far easier than had she had the rear hooking type, which quite frankly still give me some headaches.  Again I was able to unfasten it with relative ease, although it’s nothing as easy as you see in the movies or read in the books and stories.  I pushed her blouse and bra from her shoulders and my hands went back down to her breasts.  Once again, I had stumbled onto a problem I had not anticipated.  I hate to be crude but to this day I can think of no other way to describe what I now held in my hands other than big, fat titties.  I had to look, by this time we here near her bed, so I sat on it and looked up to see the globes of flesh on her chest.  She had beautiful breasts.  I mean it.  They were nice and firm, really firm and huge.  I think she had to be at least a DD cup.  Maybe only a 36 or 38, but I don’t have the illusions that some of the people who write erotic stories do.  A woman with a 38 DD bra size is well endowed, even if the armature story writers, like myself, don’t like to portray it as so.  I couldn’t help myself.  I must have gone on kissing her and play with her tits for at least a half hour after than.  I loved sucking on her big fat titties.  She was moaning and groaning and carrying on and then she said something.  I looked up from sucking on her left nipple. 
“What?”  I asked. 
“We should get some sleep.”  But that meant taking away these nice titties!  “You’ll sleep in my room.”  She changed into her pajamas.  My assessment was not off.  Definitely plump, maybe heavy, but not fat.  She pecked me on the lips and left me for a mostly sleepless night.  I woke with the sunrise but wasn’t about to leave her room.  I heard her mother tell her she should go make sure I was still alive.  When I heard that all I could think was, TITTIES!  She came in and smiled at me.  “Hey sleepy head.” she said and came up to stand at the edge of the bed.  I sat up and put my hands on her hips and smiled up at her.  “How did you sleep?” 
“All right.”  I lied.  I had gotten about two hours sleep.  I slid my hands up and there they were, unfettered smooth, and warm.  My god I just lost it with her titties.  I occurred to me how cruel it was that God put a pair of tits like this on this girl rather than a few of the better looking ones back home.  Again we were a good long while with me sucking her breasts until finally I left her room so she could shower and change.  I ate breakfast with her mother.  Can you say Uncomfortable?  I sure as hell was.  Her mother left and we ended up hanging out and making small talk.  I didn’t press too hard at the objects that distracted me from the rustic setting and the conversation I was taking part in.  Her dad come home and suggested we should rent a movie and watch it by ourselves that night.  We rented two of the shitiest movies I can think of, Abraxxas and The Guyver.  Now I’m sure some of my fellow former geeks will want to fry me for calling one or both of these two movies pure shit, but they were.  She made the fold out couch into her bed and we lay down to watch these reels of excrement.  Abraxxas was first and I was faking sleep ten minutes into the movie, only to fall asleep ten minutes after that.  I woke up and I felt good.  No, I felt great.  My mind was slowly coming alert and I realized I felt better than great, I felt like a fucking god.  My brain alerted me that I should open my eyes because I felt way too good.  I looked down and Donna was busy quietly slurping on my stiff cock.  My first blow job!  In her parents house!!  With her fine ass sister due home any minute (I would have banged the sister blue were I allowed, but lets be honest rather than fictional, no woman is going to watch her sister sucking some stranger’s cock and ask to join in or for a share of it all for herself)!!!  I wasn’t about to stop her, but I was really nervous.  Now the arthritic Golden Retriever I have yet to mention plays into our story.  Here she is sucking my cock with great eagerness and I am worried how I will explain to her father what my cock is doing in his daughter’s mouth.  Suddenly Rusty would walk slowly across the tiled kitchen floor, I was afraid I might have to explain it to her mother instead.  I would be damned, if that dog didn’t keep that up until I came in her mouth.  Now, I want it noted for the record that I never ever asked for that.  I know she didn’t swallow because she got up tight lipped and headed for the rest room where I heard brushing of teeth and gargling.  She came back and laid her head near my somehow still mostly erect cock. 
“I’ve never done that before.”  She said softly.  I stroked her face and smiled.  Looking back on it with a good deal of time and experience in getting blow jobs and I think more and more that was either complete bullshit or great instructions from her gay male friends.  Either way she stripped and lay beside me.  I was supposed to fuck her now.  I climbed in between her thighs and saw my first pussy in first person.  Now, here’s where brutal honesty comes in and gives me a full body check.  I know every guy out there talks about what an absolute stud he was from the first penetration.  I don’t believe it.  I think that every guy his first time he was trying to sink his cock in to a real pussy stumbled on making penetration.  This means you are rubbing the sensitive head on soft smooth thigh flesh, then she gets too hot to wait on you and tries to guide it in while your hips are still searching, which means you are now fucking her hand as it grips your stiff member, and BAM!  You’ve just ejaculated into her pubes or on her thighs.  We all did it ladies, if we admit it or not.  The moment was too much and we lost it.  Don’t hold it against us, but give us another chance.  Needless to say I was humiliated, because at the time I assumed it meant something was totally wrong with me.  She was saying something to comfort me but I knew she was going to tell her friends I was a premature ejaculator and they would laugh at me.  I had the next night to prove I wasn’t a lame lover.  We would be spending it with her female friend who lived with two gay men.  Donna wasn’t interested in fucking, but apparently the two gay men were.  Once again, I got no sleep, but this time is was from listening to two gay men fucking loudly and repeatedly.  I left Boston early the next morning and said good-bye to Donna for what I thought was forever. 
She sent me e-mail a little over a month later telling me she had missed her period the previous month.  She was claiming she could have gotten pregnant without any penetration.  While I don’t doubt it’s possible, I wasn’t about to do anything about it.  I had no idea who she might have started blowing while they were asleep and told her as much.  I feel kind of bad for taking that position now, but she wrote back the next week to say she had her courses again.  So ended any Donna connection in my life, but it had opened the door to many changes I had never even imagined.
Chapter Two: First Steps
Life rocked along, considering Donna and the trip to New England had been my first true sexual encounter, everything was fairly unchanged.  I still went online and chatted women up and down.  Oddly, it seemed to me, I was far more popular with women online than in real life.  Now I know more than a few people start to loose that distinction as they become more popular online than in real life, but I was careful to separate the two in my mind so I didn’t loose perspective. 
I had plans to meet with a very good friend who had gone to college in Colorado, and decided I would test the waters of Internet women again while I was up there.  I had a nice time with a girl from Greely and on the last day we got really close to sex, but her moral won out over lust and when she asked me to stop I did, even thought I almost had her naked.  I think now, if I had gotten her naked she wouldn’t have been so able to overcome the passion of the moment.  Then again, I like taking my time during the heavy petting stage of working up to sex.   
During this point in my life I ran across an older woman online named Kathleen.  At some point during chat room tomfoolery, something in her locked on me.  I can’t recall all that happened to cause that change but she and I started talking through instant messages more and more and soon it changed to phone calls and we chatted on the phone and online for probably six months.  Kathleen was 15 years older than me and in what she considered a very unfulfilling marriage.  She started dropping hints that she wanted to meet and the calls went from conversation to phone sex, a bizarre and oddly erotic concept.  I was just having fun but it became clear that she was now on a mission.       
       “I have a job in Dallas in two weeks.”  He job was to go help the Mom and pop stores go out of business and to make sure they tied up all the legal and financial loose ends as they did. 
       “Kate,” she hated to be called by anything more than her full name, until we started with the phone sex.  I enjoyed making her like something that repulsed her.  “I can’t trust my car to go the 400 miles from her to there.  And to go that distance for one night... I can’t.” 
       “I’ll buy you a seat on an airplane...” she finally got fed up with me and we didn’t speak for weeks.  I thought she might be a little unbalanced after she worked so hard to get me there anyway so I didn’t give it much thought.  After a few weeks, she popped back up again and wanted to call.  She and I went on in the phone/online routine for another few months when she announced she was coming to Houston.  She already had the tickets.  I had no idea of what she looked like only that she was 40 years old.  I had to have a picture to know her by at the airport.  She agreed and a friend came to rescue me if she was nuts.  She sent me the picture.  She was not a super model but she didn’t look bad at all, but it was a headshot and I was interested in seeing the whole package. 
       Now I have friends that balk at a gray hair on a woman and write her off, but in my family there is a tendency to get gray early.  I started getting the odd gray hair when I was sixteen, so the fact that Kate a few gray hairs didn’t phase me.  She was a fit woman with simple tastes.  I could tell that by the faded jeans and turtle neck blouse. 
She was about five feet six inches and had an eager smile and a sultry voice.  She had, as I recall green eyes and probably weighed around one hundred and ten pounds.  We made small talk with my back up and headed off to get her rental car and then get to her hotel.  We chatted all the way to the car and to hotel and I carried her suitcase up for her.  We checked out the hotel room and started chatting again.  I found from the time we met in the air port and hugged, I wanted to kiss her and urge had kept on growing so as I moved one way and she another, I put my left hand on her neck, just below the hinge of her jaw.  This got her to quiet and look up at me, and we finally kissed.  It was a slow kiss but it built up quickly and I knew I wanted to get her naked and fuck her silly, so I broke the kiss and said she should take me to my parents house so I could get my car.  We did.  TO this day I don’t know why my instincts told me not to stay with her through the night, but I knew I wouldn’t.  We got my car came back to the hotel and started kissing again.  This time there was no reason to stop.  The kiss grew in intensity and as the embrace and the moment became more heated, our teeth occasionally clashed.  She was so hot that in ten minutes I was undressing her.  I love undressing women.  I mentioned that Kate was forty, but I’ll be damned if her body wasn’t better than the few twenty something’s I had seen.  She had the shape and the proportions of a playmate model, and I was amazed it the beautiful breasts she was able to conceal under her shirt, once I got her front hooking bra off.  I began to nuzzle and nibble her nipples and her neck and she began moaning.  I started kissing and nibbling her stomach and then her thighs and parked myself down to eat my first pussy.  I was so horny at the point I started tasting her tender folds without noting the string.  She let me go for a while before she stopped me. 
       “You can’t.”  She moaned as she tried to pull me away. 
       “Why not?”  I wanted badly to eat a nice hairy snatch. 
       “Because it’s my time of the month.”  Now I noticed the string.  We went back to kissing and fooling around and she started undressing me.  At the time, I passed it off as my need to build my confidence through others, but I don’t think it is now.  Her eyes light up when she got my jeans off.  I don’t were under wear with jeans.  They are confining enough but with underwear and a sudden case of arousal, they can be painful, beside underwear with denim seems like a padlock on a paddock gate to keep the cows from opening it.  She put it in her mouth immediately. 
       Now I’m going to tear away from this to explain a bit about me.  I had always considered everything about me to be totally average, this included penis size.  I also never felt the urge to compare any part of myself to anyone else, especially not my penis.  I kept my head down and avoided looking at any time possible.  As I gained lovers and experience here and there I learned I had a respectable sized cock.  Not one of the murderous sized ones you see in the dirty stories, but almost a full eight inches.  Now dirty story experts may scoff at this admission, but the facts are that the average penis size is no more than six inches.  Simple anatomy tells you that some of the stories are just beyond reason.  Once a cock gets to a certain size, it’s dangerous to the human body.  How can someone take a 13-inch cock down their throat without ripping out their vocal cords?  Vaginal sex with a cock that size?  It’s more likely to rip or damage a woman’s uterus and make her cock hungry if she take is all.  And, my fellow men, try shoving a 13-inch tube up your anus and tell me it feels divine.  All of this I know now which is why I say I now know why her eyes lit up when my cock sprang free.  I never asked her the question I had asked other women I had gone out with to try and boost my ego, but she boosted it all the same.   
       So we were naked and I moved to slide in and my God she was wet and she was tight.  I slowly slipped my cock into her and she moaned loudly.  When I started to fuck her, her moans grew high pitched and she started slowly tossing her head, mussing her long black hair.  She had a sweet little cunt.  It wasn’t too hirsute but clear and I moved so I could watch my cock sliding in and out of her wonderful cunt.  I had forgotten why she stopped me from eating her pussy.  She began to cry, literally cry, my name usually punctuated with breathless “Oh my sweet love”s.  She was like moist velvet and I was in heaven.  The backs of her thighs were up over the tops of mine and I was on my knees burring my cock into her as she moaned and wailed until I came.  Now I remember she was having her period and as I pulled out from her the evidence of it were smeared all over my cock and it burned a little.  I cleaned up and kissed her good night and I left at around midnight.  I thought it was for the best. 
       Little did I know the three days she was down would truly start a massive change in my life. 
Chapter Three: Distractions
Kate would be leaving soon, and I watched her get dressed.  There was something nibbling at the back of mind about her and I wanted to tell her that she should give up the jeans look and wear stocking and skirts.  Nothing too short but skirts nonetheless.  Again we made idle conversation as we readied for her flight to leave.  I saw her to her gate, all the while that something ticking way back in my brain. 
Kate left back to West Virginia, and I was again alone with my thoughts.  I had taken to torturing Donna in e-mail.  This was not due to hate but rather a detachment.  She had contacted me shortly after I got back from New England to tell me she thought she was pregnant.  It called up my failing inadequacy when trying to fuck her, so I got mean.  As time went on, I realized that I had colored her in my mind to protect my ego.  She wasn’t fat, but just a big girl.  Neither was she as ugly as I had wanted to picture her.  I knew I was being mean because a part of me wanted a chance at her again with some purpose in my subconscious that I could not quite put my finger on. 
It was another three months before Kate would return.  In that time I started into a new online group that did Role play sort of game on line.  You know the sort of thing where you create a character and just play a scene.  Anyway, now I was meeting new people.  I met a woman named Suzanne that lived in town (a relative term for the fourth largest city in the US), who wanted to meet.  I picked a mall between the two of us on a day off.  The eatery we agreed to meet at had three entrances and two were near the bar where we agreed to meet.  I hid out and watched her arrive.  Suzanne was heavyset but none too shabby in my mind as she entered and searched the bar for me.  I turned to the exit I was near and left.  To this day, I have no idea why it did.  I knew I’d get home before she did and she called about ten minutes after I did get in. 
“I waited for a half hour for you.”  She should have not called at all.  When she did call she should have been on the phone long enough to tell me to go to hell.  She wanted to hear something that made her feel like I hadn’t avoided her, which I had.  The odd thing to me was that I knew all of this before she ever finished her statement, and that tickling idea in my head seemed to revel in this whole thing. 
“I’m sorry I just got home, my car died out in the street on my way there.”  I didn’t have a cell phone, so it was the perfect sounding excuse.  After all, my car was a pile of crap at the time.  “We can do it again sometime if you feel like it.” 
“I’ll have to think about it.”  I knew Suzanne would be calling me, soon. 
“I’d like it if you did, hon. I’m sorry I wasn’t there.” 
“I... I’ll talk to you soon, Ian, Bye.”  I had not missed her pause.  She was going to say I love you.  My God!  I had spent years being the clingy please date me half of all my attempted relationships.  Now I was on the other side.  Suddenly that thing that had not wanted to come to the front of my brain did.  I had control over her.  She was going to call, and when she did I’d have her.  No meeting in a safe place again.  I’d go to her house while her daughter was at school and I’d fuck her right after she blew me.  Given enough time and patience on my part, I could slowly take ownership of her.  Make her mine, and not in that lovey dovey way I had hopelessly dreamed of all my life. 
Wait!  What was I thinking?  I’d own another person, bend them to my will?  That wasn’t right.  It was deviant, abusive and wrong.  But was it really abusive?  I didn’t like causing physical pain nor having it inflicted on me and I wasn’t interested in making her feel like she was my property and somehow less than me.  The beating down of someone emotionally or physically was really what abuse was and that had no appeal to me.  Still it was deviant and wrong.  I had enough guilt just in the fact that I was fornicating, add some bizarre element of mind control or domination into the mix and I’d go mad with the guilt.  I could not go down this road.  I would not go down this road. 
It was almost two weeks before Suzanne called and wanted to get together. 
“Can you come look at my sink?”  Her house and her sink were across town. 
“That’s not the plumbing you want me to check, hon.”  We had been open sexual in all of our conversations, so now was not the time to hold back, but it was my time of decision. 
“Are you going to come over?”  There it was, and this time I knew what it was, if I said yes I was going down a road that would lead me far away from my current life.  It was miserable and unhappy and I was sick of it, but I wasn’t sure I was ready to start making the choices I would if I started on this path.  On the other hand, if change is inevitable, why fight it? 
“I’ll be over in an hour.”
Chapter Four: Checking Her Plumbing
It’s queer the turns life sometimes takes.  Suzanne should have never ever called me back, but I knew she would before she did.  There was no logical reason for her to have ever heard my excuse, but she did.  I have male friends who would swear that it had happened because I had show actual disinterest in her.  This might have been true with Kathleen, but even in that case it wasn’t true. 
Whatever the reason, I had her.  I wasn’t going to exploit it, although I knew I could.  In the end my not wanting to exploit this “power” is what drove yet another woman away from me, but I digress. 
I arrived at her home.  It was out in the middle of nowhere and a very modest tiny home.  She had no real furniture to speak of so we talked a while.  Both of us had just gotten of overnight shifts so we went to her bedroom to catch a nap.  This is when I discovered that I am at heart a snuggler.  You can take my guy card if you want it, but there’s something about lying down with a woman in your arms that is very nice.  As we lay there we made conversation. 
“How do you usually sleep?”  She asked me.  I grinned behind her.  As much as I knew my answer might seem like a proposition, it was totally true. 
“I sleep naked.” 
“Well, I can’t sleep in my clothes.”  She moved to start removing her street clothes and I got into my ‘pajamas.’  We lay back in her bed, which was just a mattress on the floor and I hooked an arm over her.  She was wearing what amounted to a T-shirt and I had a handful of breast.  Like any healthy heterosexual male, I started getting wood.  She could feel and started getting restless in my grasp she suddenly pushed me on my back and moved over me.  She looked down at my stiff cock and actually growled.  She literally attacked my cock swallowing it and shoving it in and out of her mouth.  It was my first animal blowjob.  She was growling and moaning and pulling at her ample breasts as she gobbled my cock.  Her teeth would scrape up my shaft and just at the ridge of my head before she’d open them more and start all over again.  I wanted to see if she was deep throating me, but I have to be honest, I can’t do anything while I’m getting blown.  I was aware she was wildly pulling at her nightshirt so she could fondle her breasts because for a few seconds she wrapped them around my now wet prick and moved them up and down.  It was a nice feeling but not something I crave, aside from seeing my spunk spray all over a woman’s face.  It didn’t take too long before her mouth descended on me again and it was great.  She was grunting and growling and groaning the whole time.  I’m fairly sure that at least most of it was for show, but I don’t like admitting that.  It doesn’t stroke my ego well.  Anyway, it didn’t take too much more before I was reaching orgasm.  I finally warmed a chick I was about to cum, and she didn’t seem to care.  Instead of backing off, she locked her lips around the head of my cock and sucked down every last drop of my jizz. 
“Wow.”  I couldn’t believe it was her taking and not me, but it was.  We were both naked now and she stroked me a bit as she moved to kiss me.  Our tongues wrestled a bit and my cock, which had only been starting to flag from erect, was stiff again.  She smiled and climbed on.  Getting herself in the right position she sank onto my hard dick.  This was only the second pussy I had ever managed to really invade, and as things went, I loved the feeling of a wet pussy around my cock.  Now my only experience with sex prior to Kathleen and Suzanne had been porno movies, so I expected her to start moving up and down.  She didn’t.  Rather she started moving her hips back and forth and side to side, more or less undulating her pussy all around my cock but never getting it out of her.  I loved it.  Only about a minute into it she came.  She never fully stopped moving but she stiffened and groaned and started moving harder on me.  I think she came at least once more.  By the time I was getting ready to spew, she was again growling, now nipping at my neck and jaw.  I groaned. 
“Oh gawd!”  Hey, I was from Eat Texas stock, that’s how we hicks say it.  She crammed her cunt hard down on me and I started cumming.  She let out this really high-pitched squeal and came again (this is how I know it was at least twice).  We took a few minutes to catch our breath and the spooned to sleep.  I woke up at one in the afternoon, and got up to get dressed and woke her.  “Your daughter’s gonna be home soon.  I’ll talk to you later Suz.” 
I never did, but then I also had Kathleen coming in a few weeks.  She was hardheaded an independent.  If I had the ‘power’ at all, she would be the one I’d have to prove it on. 
Chapter Five: The Unconscious Choice
          It’s amazing the speed at which an idea you don’t even know you have can turn into a plan you don’t realize you have made.  I had gone to her house, knowing what would happen.  The new idea had formed independently in my head.  I wanted to fuck Kathleen in the ass.  I wanted a toy.  The thought hit me just like that.  I know it seems self-absorbed and more than a little unhinged.  Normally guys that thought of other human beings end up with all three of their names being announced on the news while they cover their heads.  You know the headlines, “Serial Killer Caught” and all that.  It’s a classic case of a psychopath to not see people as being as real as they are.  That’s one of the reasons guys like Ted Bundy and Jeffrey Dhalmer can be as brutal as they were.  I wasn’t thinking of anything brutal or even painful.  As I drove home, the idea I had been gestating in the back of my mind suddenly slipped forward.  

    It would be easy, well, relatively easy.

    The idea was simple.  I had to find another job, out of Texas.  It had to be out of Texas because I had a fairly large and close extended family.  There is a strong resemblance with my brother, my sister, and myself all look fairly similar.  Maybe Virginia, that seemed far enough away to allow me to live this out and see what happened.  Virginia would work well, it was far removed from anyone that knew my family and Kate lived there.  She would be my start.  I had already started to alter some of her behavior and the question was how much more I could.  I felt that because I was not too far removed from my sense of humanity; that I would be able to alter it further to suit my needs.  I wasn’t thinking about making her walk naked on the street.  No what I was thinking of was far better than that.  I would take a job and in my time and start a stable of Girls.  A perversion of the standard family.  Kate would be my first, and I think I did feel some degree of anger for her, but that really was yet to take hold.  The odd thing was I actually thought of it as a perversion, yet it did not hold the revulsion or distaste for me that most people have when they think of the word.  I embraced the idea.

    Kathleen called me that night.  We chatted about this and that.  She worked for a company that helped small mom and pop stores go out of business.  This afforded her a good deal of travel without many questions from her husband, whom did not seem too terribly interested regardless.  She was hungry for my attentions and even more so for my cock.  As I always had a tendency to do, I began to turn the conversation sexual.  I was already naked and asked her to do as much.  As we moved into phone sex, I began to talk.  I rarely masturbated during phone sex and even during real sex had a propensity for vocalizing.  As she panted and moaned into the phone I started laying my plan into action, but oddly I had no script or clearly laid out plan, it was all instinct and happening pretty much without too much effort.

    “I love the feel of your legs around me.”  I said.  “The feel of your pussy.”  She moaned.  “When you came down last time in that skirt and those stockings I wanted to fuck you right there in the terminal in front of everyone.”  

She gasped and called out, “Oh my sweet love!”

“I wanted to rub your pussy in the car.”  Another gasp and a moan, she was getting close.  “If you didn’t wear panties I could fuck you and touch you anytime I wanted.”  She cried out, her breath and voice caught in the ecstasy and I grunted and groaned with her, simulating the sound of my own orgasm.  Then I waited for her breathing to calm, I had to press my luck now.  I could not allow her to fully come from the plateau she was currently on.  As soon as she was nearly purring in my ear, I pressed the point.  “I don’t want you to wear panties anymore.”

“What about my period?”  She had received a barium enema for some reason in childhood, but the doctor had been all but a criminal putting the enema in the wrong orifice thusly putting a whole in her uterus.  Still, she had her monthly courses but assured me there was no need for a condom.

“You already use Tampons.  You don’t have to have anything to attach them to.”  She made a brief sound of argument but did not agree or disagree.  “The thought of knowing you are bare assed under your skirt…”  It was my turn to make a sound, an honest one, of hungered lust.  “If you feel you have to have some pairs of panties, you should by thongs or g-strings only, oh my god, seeing you in a thong.”  I made the noise again as the thought had literally just occurred to me.

“I may have woken Ted.”  She answered.  “I should go.”

“Think about what I said Kate, I’ll see you in two weeks.”

“I love you.”  She whispered almost silently.  I smiled and hung up as if I had been making the motion before she made her declaration.  Somehow her saying she loved me made it easier for me to go through this.  We had agreed early on that this was not about love and here she was changing it.  Yes, she would do nicely.

I was smiling up at my ceiling when my phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Hey Ian.”  It was Julie.  I had worked with Julie at Kroger.  She was a sweet girl with a nice body, great eyes and a smile I loved to see.  Unfortunately she picked a bad time to call.  She had broken up with her boyfriend several of months before and after a serious car crash that had removed the pinky from her right hand.  She was a nurse now and had odd hours but we had become fairly close friends over the last couple of months.  She had wanted someone she felt comfortable with to do stuff with, and had picked me.  She had assured me she wasn’t looking for love and I had set that as a boundary in my mind.  The last few times we had gone to the movies our casual flirting had become more intense leading up to the space of the three weeks I had not heard from her.  I was feeling lustful now and wanted to call up the night she had felt a change in our relationship.

We had gone out for burgers and a movie and arrived back at my parents’ house.  Over the last few weeks, our conversation frequently turned to talk of sex while we drove.  This night, I laid down a challenge to her.  So now we sat on the comfortable sofa and talked about the challenge.

“So really do think you kiss that well?”  She asked me.

“It’s not really a matter of think, Jules.”  I really did think of her as a jewel, so that’s what I called her.  “It’s always happened that way.  I mean when other guys were talking to guy about how to kiss I was making friends with the girls, I figured they were a better source of information.”

“So how do you do it?”  She leaned on the beige sofa, one hand on her cheek.

“You want me to tell you?”  She nodded.  “It’s not that easy.  There no set patterns or sequences of events that makes a perfect kiss.  It’s attitude and paying attention to the person you are kissing.”

“Well, that makes it easy to not be able to dispute.”  She grinned.  “You mean I just have to take your word for it.”

“I could show you but you are prepared so it might not take your breath away as much.”  I shrugged.  “But I also don’t want to jeopardize losing my friend.”

“We’ll be friends no matter what, ok?”  She put her hand out for me to shake and I took in mine and held it there.  “But have to be able to prove it.”

“Agreed.”  I still had her hand, in a handshake grasp in mine.  It wasn’t hard for me to look at her with hunger.  I had been attracted to her before she and Charles broke up.  She had soft, though small, and inviting lips and blue eyes that were soft like the spring sky after a good rain.  I slowly rubbed my thumb on the back of her hand.  I looked into her eyes for three minutes at least and I saw her swallow.  She was feeling it.

“When do you start?”  She tried to mask the husky tones in her voice but I heard them.  I moved my left hand to cup her right cheek and slowly leaned towards her.

“Who says I haven’t?”  My voice was equally thick with lust just before I brushed her lips with my own.  I kissed her softly and gently until I felt them part.  My key to a great kiss is in restraint.  You have to be aware of the subtle hints of readiness your partner will give you.  I mean a woman’s neck is a highly erogenous area and should always by high on a man’s hit list, but you can’t go stampeding for “the goodies.”  If you do that you break the magic and kill the moment.  So my rule I use my tongue when I feel the tips of hers.  I don’t go grabbing breasts until she is obviously feeling my up, and even then I wait, keeping my hands on her face and neck.  Kissing her lips, cheeks, eyes, and neck, always only stepping up or responding to her own natural reactions.  Some people might say I’m dispassionate, but I doubted Julie felt that way.  It’s not that I didn’t want to just shove my hands under her blouse and my tongue down her throat, but there was a time for that.  I had to hold off until it was what she wanted, that was never too long from when we started so waiting was not a problem.  I kissed the soft and tasty flesh of her neck, moaning as she pressed against me.  She wanted me to touch her somewhere else.  Instead I pulled her over onto my lap, straddling me.  She was wearing jeans and so was I, but I knew she could feel my rock hard prick and she pulled my mouth to hers and her tongue invaded my mouth.  I started untucking her blouse.  I fumbled a bit on the buttons of the garment but it didn’t take long for it to fall open, I slid my hands up her smooth soft belly.  Only the scars from her emergency surgery marred her chest and stomach and I didn’t mind them in the least.  My hands slid over the satiny feeling material of her bra.  The curves of her breasts were soft and warm and I wanted to suckle on her nipples, my thumb slid into the valley between the twin globes of flesh and discovered she had a front hooking bra.  I thanked God for small favors, and undid the clasp.  My hands moved down and then back up over her great breasts.  I, like most men, did enjoy gargantuan breasts but Julie’s didn’t fall in that category.  Yet, in my mind they were perfect.  They fit in my hands and were firm and soft and smooth.  I was sucking her erect nipple before she spoke to me again.

“If we don’t stop now,” her voice was husky with arousal and what I thought was heavy regret at what she was saying, “your parents are going to find us in a bad situation.”  She was right.  I helped her get herself covered and walked her to her car and we shared a very brief kiss goodnight.

Since then she had avoided calling me.  I had been sidetracked from calling her and should have felt bad but… now she was calling me.  A part of wishes she had called me in the morning and the two of us might have lived a nice quiet “normal” life, as I do love her greatly.  Yet she had not waited, and now my run away mind had made another decision.

Julie was going to be my queen.
Chapter Six: Realization!

I never really laid any of it out.  I just sort of knew it.  The plan was laid in place without me really laying it out.  I felt some nervousness although at the time I had no idea why I did.  Looking back, I now know it was about the plan falling apart.  It only took one no, a logical assumption with what I was considering, and the whole thing feel to shards.
Julie had called me to say she wanted to talk.  We made a date for a few days later.  Kathleen called the next night and I made more subtle (it wasn’t that hard to be more subtle than I had been about the panties) hints about changes to her wardrobe.  Again, I really wasn’t aware I was making them, so that made it a bit easier to be subtle about the suggestions. 

Things like leather skirts, tight fitting and revealing blouses, the things
I think most men wish women would wear more of, but most women don’t like wearing because men pay more attention to their assets.  The suggestions came out while we were having phone sex and I wasn’t paying attention to what I was saying until I heard myself say something.  “I wanna see my name tattooed on you.” She moaned and we continued on, but now my mind was turning hard on where that statement had come from.
I didn’t sleep much that night and spent the next day in a fog.  I could not place, yet, where that statement had come from.  I usually said bizarre things if I was up late, but this was far more than my weary mind not checking what I was saying.  There were images that went with the statement. There was an idea that followed along with the statement.  The tattoo was a start, and just like all the rest of what had led me to this turning point, it was in my mind but had stayed just beyond the range of my waking brain.
At least until now.
Sure, I know that you are thinking that I had made a conscious decision to move to Virginia, but that part of it was me dreaming of bettering my life.  Well, that’s at least what I had told myself.  Now I was standing in my Circuit City brown blazer, making polite salesman conversation with my customers, but I was unaware of them or my responses.  I got my break and headed back to the break room, still trying to dig up what had brought on the idea of the tattoo.  Eddie, one of the sales people in SOHO (small office/home office, or the computer department) was talking to me a bout a tech support company he was taking a job with and telling me how I ought to since I knew more about PCs than he and a few others in that department and selling small electronics was getting me no where fast.  I agreed that I should almost reflexively and since tomorrow was a day off for me and I was not going to meet with Jules until around 6 in the evening, I did, but that comes later in my story.
As the day wore on into the evening, I still couldn’t stop thinking about the tattoo comment.  As I thought more and more about it, the images changed from little flashes and snippets to a full on mental picture show...
It was a nice home, not the sort one usually associated with a first home, but it was mine.  Kate came wearing only a pair of miniscule thong panties.  My name was clearly tattooed on her right ass cheek.  I had called for her, and sitting next to me was a beautiful German Shepherd. 
Kate gave a hint of a smile and I saw her nipples hardening.
“Off with them.” I said calmly.  Kathleen slowly stripped off her panties and I sent the dog from the room.  I closed the gate separating him from us and I closed the distance to Kate.  “I can’t keep you here for ever.” I said as my left hand slipped between her legs and my right stroked her cheek.  She nodded and she widened her stance to allow me to stroke her sex.  “Do you love him?” I asked as my fingers slid along the quickly swelling lips of her pussy.
“He’s a good friend and treats me well.” She replied with a gasp following as a finger slid between her swelling lips.  I leaned in closely to whisper in her ear.
“You’ll always belong to me, Kate.” She put a hand on my shoulder and moaned as my index finger slid up into her.  “You are free to marry him, but you’ll always be mine.” I couldn’t fathom claiming ownership of another human being, at least not yet.  We stayed like that until I could feel the pleasure making it too hard for her to remain standing and then I guided her onto the couch and spread her knees further.  I leaned down and ran my tongue along her labia, which were engorged and therefore spread a bit allowing me to attack her clitoris.  I tongued and sucked her through two orgasms.  It was time for the real show.  I stood and went over to the gate keeping the dog out.  I stripped down and took my seat as the dog entered the room.  The smell of Kate’s sex filled the room and the dog could smell it better than I could.  “Present yourself.” She moved off the couch and stood before me, slowly moving to her knees, resting her arms on my bare thighs.  The dog began to sniff around her sex and I heard her moan and knew the dog was tasting her.  As she leaned forward and took my cock in her mouth, he mounted her.  She cried out as she always did when the dog buried his long pointed cock into the warm clasping invitation of her pussy. She always made a real effort to keep sucking my dick, but I did rather enjoy watching her fuck the dog with the enthusiasm she had taken to it with after the first time.  It only took a few strokes of the dog’s cock into her slick pussy before she was going back after him, stroke for stroke. She was moaning and panting and stroking my cock as best she could, stopping her hand to lick my cock as well as her hand to prevent from rubbing me raw.  She stopped, tensed and screamed out as a massive orgasm washed over her.  The dog still had a bit more in him.  He didn’t go at it for too long, but with the speed and intensity with which he thrusted into her, it didn’t take long.  I knew he hit her another one out of the park quickly.  She started to growl and thrust back into the dog again.  She looked up into my face.
“Yours.” She moaned and another orgasm struck her.  In very short order I heard her moan and knew she was getting a belly full hot doggie spunk.  I also knew the dog had tied to her.  Suddenly she leaned forward and engulfed my cock with her mouth.  Her head moved up and down on my rigid shaft.  Her tongue rubbed under the head of my cock a few times, and then she started grazing her teeth lightly over the head of my cock and along the shaft.  I knew at the moment that she was mine.  She would make a good partner for her new man but she belonged to me and if I called she would come.  She would come to me, just the same as I was now filling her mouth with my own ejaculate.
“You have to tell him.” I told her as she dressed to go to him.  “He has to know the truth...”
I woke up and the dream was still just a fresh and vivid as if it had actually happened. 
I knew what I was thinking about now.
I couldn’t claim ignorance, not anymore.  I knew I was going to try to bring Julie into this because I wanted her to be with me long term.  Kate was only temporary, but I was going to treat her poorly, and I did feel bad about that but not bad enough to avoid it.  I was acting on a plan that I had not been aware I had and now that I was faced with it, I didn’t feel the need to run back.