The Matriarch's Marriage Advice - by Lazlo ZalezacHome « Lazlo Zalezac's Page
The Matriarch's Marriage Advice
by Lazlo Zalezac
Copyright© Lazlo Zalezak, 2003
Susan's mind was still fuzzy as she struggled to wake. She wiped the sleep out
of her eyes and looked at the old woman seated in the chair. "Grandma?"
"Yes dear?"
"What are you doing in here?" Here was the bedroom that her Grandmother had put
them in last night for their stay. It was an extremely beautiful room within an
enormous old mansion. The queen size bed took up a very small portion of the
room. There was a sitting area with a love seat, chair, and coffee table. The
decor was Victorian, with lace, painted glass, and beautiful wood. The room had
French Doors that opened onto a balcony.
"I'm here to talk to both of you."
"Couldn't you have waited until we were up?"asked Susan. Her fiancée still had
his hand on her naked breast and was sleeping with a half smile on his face.
After the workout that they had last night, it would be a miracle if he woke in
another hour.
"Why should I wait?"
"Ah, well, um, we aren't really decent right at the moment."
"I can see that, Susan," replied the old woman. She pointed her cane at Susan's
breast and the hand that covered it. "Looks like he's having indecent dreams,
too."
"Would you mind leaving while we get dressed?"
"Yes, I would mind. I would mind very much." Her voice conveyed her indignation
at the idea that she should have to leave the room. This was her house and they
were guests. She looked over at the man still sleeping in the bed. She raised
her cane and brought it sharply down on his leg.
"Jesus Christ! What the hell's going on?" screamed the man as the pain shocked
him awake. He looked around wildly trying to figure out what was going on. He
saw the old woman sitting on the chair moving the cane away from the bed.
Susan shouted, "Grandma! What did you do that for?"
"I told you. I'm here to talk to both of you. Can't do that with him asleep, can
I?"
Charles untangled the sheet and was able to cover the both of them. The
grandmother glared at the action. Rubbing his shin, Charles whispered to Susan,
"Is she crazy?"
Susan shrugged her shoulders while grandma replied, "Boy, I'm old, not deaf."
Susan loved her grandmother very much. She was her favorite relative and had
many fond memories of times spent together. She spent every summer at the house
when she was growing up and grandma always treated her special. The rest of the
family said that grandma had a reputation for being a little odd. This morning
her actions went well beyond odd. Concerned, she asked, "Grandma? Are you
feeling okay?"
"I'm fine," rebuked the old woman. She set the tip of the cane on the floor
between her legs and placed her hands, one atop the other, on the duck head that
formed the handle. Her hands were wrinkled and liver spotted, the nails thick
with age. She pointed to the coffee table and sofa in the corner of the room
with her age sharpened nose. On the coffee table was a teapot and three cups.
She added, "I made some tea for you to drink while waking up."
Susan and Charles looked at each other in confusion. Both were thinking about
their nudity and waited for her to leave the room. The old woman got tired of
waiting for them to move. She lifted the cane and brought it down sharply on the
wood floor making a loud crack. Both of them jumped in surprise. "Now that I've
got your attention, get over there and have some tea. Pour me a cup while you're
at it."
"Grandma, we're not dressed!"
"Do you think I'm blind too? Now get your naked asses out of that bed before I
start breaking legs with this cane of mine!"
Charles and Susan slipped out of the bed, convinced that she would follow
through with the threat. Both did their best to cover themselves with sheets,
but their efforts were halted quickly when Grandmother commanded, "Don't bother
covering yourselves! Leave those sheets on the bed. I'm not going to see
anything that I've never seen before!"
The unhappy couple slinked over to the love seat in embarrassment. He had his
hands covering his crotch trying to his his cock. She held an arm across her
breasts and a hand covering her pubic region. Neither looked or felt very
comfortable. They seated themselves as quickly as they could.
An uneasy silence descended upon the room. The old woman cleared her throat
once. She waited a moment and cleared her throat a second time. The couple on
the love seat looked at each other nervously. Tired of waiting, the old woman
reminded them, "The tea. Did you forget the tea?"
Susan leaned forward and poured three cups of tea. Immediately, a problem arose
concerning who was to take the cup over to the grandmother. Susan was trapped in
the corner and would have to climb over Charles to get out. She handed the
teacup, on a saucer, to Charles. She then stated, "Would you please give this to
my grandmother?"
Charles looked around as if he had been hit by an invisible baseball bat.
Standing up and covering himself with one hand, he carefully made his way to the
old woman. She accepted the tea from him and then balanced it on her knee. She
watched, with a twinkle in her eye, as Charles attempted to back up to the couch
and get seated without exposing anything.
The old woman took a sip of her tea and crooned, "Ah, I so love a good cup of
Earl Grey Tea in the morning. I know that some people like English Breakfast Tea
more, but I don't."
Charles stared at her in disbelief, unable to fathom why she would come up here
and babble about teas. He was beginning to doubt if he wanted to marry into this
family. Susan talked about this grandmother as though she was some kind of
fantastic woman. The only bright spot in this situation was that Susan looked
just as uncomfortable as he felt. He took a sip of his tea and waited for
someone to say something. As the silence drew on, he gave up, "So to what do we
owe the pleasure of your company?"
The old woman nodded at him, pleased at the directness with which he broached
the subject. She answered, "The two of you came here to tell me that you are
getting married."
Susan nodded at her statement of the obvious. She said, "Yes, we told you that
last night."
"That's right, you did," acknowledged the old woman. She looked at the couple
sitting in front of her and shook her head. She added, "Well, I came here to
talk about your marriage."
"Well, we are planning on having a small wedding. Of course, you are invited."
Charles replied. He was entertaining second thoughts about inviting the crazy
women, but was smart enough not to say anything.
"I didn't say I wanted to talk about your wedding. I said that I wanted to
discuss your marriage."
Susan leaned forward and gently stated, "We aren't married yet."
"Of course, that's why it's the perfect time to discuss your marriage."
Charles, convinced that the woman was batty, tried to be nice about explaining
the situation to the old woman. He said, "How can we discuss our marriage if we
aren't married?"
"Well, if you were planning on taking a vacation, would you discuss the vacation
before you went on it? Yes you would, unless you were a total idiot. What would
you discuss? What kind of vacation you want, where you want to go, what you are
going to do when you get there, and other such topics relevant to a vacation!"
Susan explained, "A marriage is different than a vacation."
The old woman continued on as if Susan hadn't said a word, "Presently you are
planning to get married. Now is the time to discuss the marriage. What are you
going to discuss? What kind of marriage you want, how are you going to handle
various marriage pitfalls, and other topics relevant to marriage!"
"Um, ah, I hate to tell you this, but being married is just being married," her
granddaughter answered. She felt that she had a very definite idea of what it
meant to be married.
Grandmother snorted in disdain as she said, "That's what your mother said when I
wanted to talk about marriage to her. She wouldn't talk and her marriage didn't
last seven years. It only lasted long enough to produce you and your brother."
"That's because they didn't get along!"
The old woman took a sip of her tea. She smiled up at the young couple in front
of her, amazed at their naivety. She stated, "When I was young, a minister told
me that sex before marriage was a sin. The only time one should have sex with
your spouse was to have children. Sex for the pleasure of sex was a sin. I was
to lie there staring at the ceiling while my husband planted his seed in me. So
I guess that is what you are planning on?"
Charles, incredulous at the idea of a marriage without sex, burst out, "God no!"
Susan echoed his sentiment, stating, "No way!"
"Oh, so I guess you are going to buy a house with a white picket fence. Susan is
going to quit her job and act like little Suzy Homemaker while Charles goes out
and earns a living."
"That's closer," replied Susan. She liked the idea of staying home and raising a
family. She wanted to work for a while before having children, but that was her
basic idea of a marriage. Her kids were going to be well behaved. She would stay
home and make sure that they did their homework, washed their hands before every
meal, and went to bed on time. Everything was going to be wonderful.
"Good. She'll pop out a couple of kids and then raise them. Meanwhile, Charles
will work long hours to keep a roof over your heads and food on the table. He'll
come home late tired from work. You'll be tired and cranky from a day full of
kids screaming and trying to keep a clean house. On the weekends, you'll want to
get out of the house and he'll want to stay home and rest. After a couple of
years of that, you won't have to worry about having sex any more. It will die a
natural death. Maybe you'll do it once a month or so."
Susan and Charles looked at each other for a minute. The suggested future was
not that pleasant. Susan replied, "No, I don't think that is what I have in
mind."
"Me either."
The old woman took another sip of tea and leaned back in the chair with a large
grin on her face. She asked the natural question, "So what did you have in
mind?"
"Well, I don't know how to answer that."
"Well, you had better know how to answer that. It's the rest of your life we are
talking about!"
"We love each other. We won't end up like you said."
"Bah! Going into a marriage blind is the easiest way for it to end up like
that," snorted the old woman. "You ever wonder why half of the marriages in this
country end up in divorce? Or why the majority of those that last end up with
two complete strangers sharing the same house? I'll tell you why. They thought
love would conquer all!"
"Doesn't it?" asked Charles. Despite his rough exterior, he had the heart of a
romantic.
The old woman finished her tea and beckoned Charles over. Still covering himself
as well as he could, he stepped forward and took the saucer and teacup. Backing
to the chair, he seated himself and then placed the cup and saucer on the table.
She waited for a moment and then stated, "Charles, stand up and face us."
Charles looked at Susan worried that he was going to have to do it. Susan
shrugged her shoulders. The old woman spat out, "Do it now or you don't get my
blessing. If I have to, I'll cut you out of my will."
Charles stood and stepped away from the love seat. He stood there uncomfortably
as he covered his private parts with both hands. He challenged, "Are you
satisfied now?"
"Nope, put your hands on your hips."
Charles looked to Susan for help and found none there. Numbly, Susan just
answered, "Do it, honey."
Charles put his hands on his hips. He was not happy when he turned to the old
woman, "Like what you see?"
"My titillation is not the point, young man. I will get to my point in a
moment."
"Well, get on with it."
Susan could see that her fiancée was quickly reaching the breaking point. She
tried to calm things down a little. She suggested, "Dear, just relax and it will
be over soon."
Grandma snickered, "Now notice that his dingle is dangling."
Both Susan and Charles rolled their eyes at her description. Charles retorted,
"Of course, I'm not turned on by you!"
Grandma wasn't phased one bit by his comment. She stated, "Now imagine that you
go into the copy room and find your secretary kissing another woman."
Charles' cock reacted. Grandma laughed as she stated, "Notice the dingle has
changed its dangle."
Charles blushed while Susan looked over and saw the result. Grandma continued,
"She comes into your office later and kneels between your legs. Putting her
hands on your thigh, she looks up at you and tells you that she'll do anything
if you don't say a word about what you saw. Just think of the anythings that you
could request."
Charles cock was now at half-mast. Susan covered her mouth with a hand and her
eyes grew large. Charles blushed even more. It felt very strange to be standing
naked with a hard-on in front of an old woman. Grandma continued, "Now you get
home and find Susan lying naked on her bed with her legs spread wide. Her best
friend is naked and is on her hands and knees between Susan's legs. She's
licking Susan's pussy with great enthusiasm. Don't you think that you'd want to
strip and start fucking her friend while she services your wife?"
Charles groaned as his cock stood up straight and hard. Susan was staring at
him, surprised that he was excited by the thought of her and her best friend in
bed together.
Grandma, looking over a Susan, continued, "Charles comes home one night with his
best friend. Oh, maybe he's not the best looking man, but you have to wonder
what kind of package he's got between his legs. After a little wine and dancing,
they take you into the bedroom. While Charles is fucking you doggy style, you
are giving his best friend a blow job. Just imagine what it feels like to have a
cock in your pussy and one in your mouth. Um, so good!"
Charles cock was twitching as pre-cum coated the head of his cock. Susan was
staring into space. She could almost feel the cocks in her cunt and mouth. Her
chest was flushed and her breathing was deep. Grandma stated, "Charles, look at
Susan. See how stiff her nipples are and how wet her cunt is? She's turned on
just as much as you are!"
Charles looked over at Susan and realized that Grandma was right. He moved over
to her and ran a finger over her cunt. It was drenched. The action brought Susan
back from her imaginary world. Grandma continued, "I'll tell you one thing. If
this little old lady can get you both so hot just by talking, your marriage
won't stand a chance of lasting unless you decide now how you are going to
handle temptation."
Susan and Charles looked at each other in amazement. Neither could believe that
this old woman had talked them into an excited state. Somehow, she knew their
most cherished fantasies. Particularly those fantasies that they had never
shared with anyone, especially with each other. Charles cleared his throat,
"What are you suggesting?"
"I was married for 52 years to the same man. I married him when I was 18 and he
was 22. Every morning we woke and had sex. Even at 74, he could get it up. That
man sure could fuck."
"Grandma!" replied Susan in a state of shock. She couldn't believe what her
grandmother was saying. Old people didn't think or do those kinds of things!
Everyone knows that.
"Oh, that man was great in bed. Hell, we fucked four or five times a week
without exception even when we were in our seventies. If we weren't fucking he'd
eat my cunt or I'd suck his cock," the old woman chortled. She added, "You
should have seen the look on the nurses face when he was in the hospital and she
came in on us making whoopee!"
"Wow!" remarked Charles. He couldn't believe his ears. He asked, "So what kind
of marriage did you have?"
"We had an exceptionally honest marriage. If one of us wanted to try something,
we'd talk it over and then do it."
Susan frowned as she thought about what that meant. She asked, "Do you mean you
and he cheated on each other?"
"Not at all! We just had sex with other people."
"Isn't that cheating?" asked Charles.
"No. Cheating is a form of dishonesty. When you both agree to it, how can you be
cheating?"
"That's not how a marriage is supposed to be!" begged Susan.
"How's it supposed to be?"
"When you get married your attention focuses on your husband. He becomes focused
on you. You're not supposed to look at other people."
"Bah! That's hogwash if I've ever heard it. Not supposed to look at other
people? That doesn't take into account the biological imperative to have
children, girl! Nature drives animals to reproduce with as many mates as
possible. Nature demands you expand the gene pool and thereby give the most
assurance of survival of your genes. Deny that urge and your marriage will
fail."
Susan stated, "So you are saying that fooling around with others is okay?"
"I wouldn't call what we did fooling around," the old woman replied. She stated,
"Once a month or so, we would invite others into our bedroom. We'd have our fun
and that would be that. Nice memories to be replayed in bed over the month. If
it wasn't as much fun as anticipated, there was always the chance to have
another fantasy fulfilled the next month. We had quite active imaginations."
Charles, without thinking, asked, "What kind of fantasies did you have?"
Susan shot a dirty look at him believing that you didn't ask old people that
kind of question. Grandmother laughed, "Oh, just the standard kind of stuff.
Threesomes, wife swapping, sex with the same gender, and a little bondage."
Susan looked at her grandmother in shock. She asked, "You did all that?"
"Of course. I always enjoyed having two men at a time. Ernie enjoyed two women
tremendously. Wife swapping was a little tough to arrange and from what I
understand, it is still tough to find a couple that's willing to swap. I ate a
lot of pussy in my day. Your grandfather wouldn't suck a cock to save his life,
but he found a couple of guys that would do that to each other while we watched.
Usually, Ernie would fuck me like crazy while we were watching. The bondage was
a lot of fun. Oh, I really liked tying him up and doing things to him. I even
fucked him with a dildo once."
"Grandmother!" Susan was shocked to learn the kinds of things that her
grandmother had done. There was no way that she could picture her grandmother
having sex with another woman. The idea that her grandmother was a slut
destroyed every notion she had about her.
Charles couldn't believe that the old woman sitting in front of him was that
wild. Susan's grandfather must have died happy, getting screwed to death by his
sexy old wife. His opinion of the old woman went up significantly even as
Susan's opinion of her dropped. He stated, "Wow, that's amazing!"
Susan looked at him with more than a little disgust. She stated, "Oh, you like
that? You want to be married to a slut?"
Grandmother laughed aloud. Her eyes sparkled as she looked at her granddaughter.
Rather than being offended by being called a slut, she knew she had something to
work with. Sly as a fox, she asked, "Oh and who fantasizes about fucking the
best friend of her fiancée? Just think about it, my dear. That stud behind you
pleasuring you with that nice looking cock while you are sucking off that other
man. The whole idea makes you hot."
Susan's whole body flushed in reaction to those words. Even Charles, who tended
at times to be rather dense, recognized the significance of her reaction. He
said, "You really want that?"
Grandmother interrupted, "Before we get into the details of who wants to fuck
who, we've got a few things to clear up first."
Susan mentally called herself a slut and then pushed away the thought. She
asked, "Like what?"
Now that the topic was back to what she wanted to discuss, she stated, "Well,
the first thing you both have to identify is what do you want out of the
marriage. Once you know that, you can then decide on what kind of marriage you
want. Then, we have to identify the problem areas and what you will do about
them when they come up. Remember, it is when they come up and not if they come
up."
The young couple looked at each other for a moment. Susan now understood why her
grandmother wanted her to stay there for a whole week. She replied, "It actually
sounds like a good idea now that I've thought about it."
Grandmother stood and said, "One of the bad things about being an old lady is
that your bladder can't hold water worth shit. I'm going to go to the bathroom.
Why don't you have a quick fuck and then come down for breakfast. We'll eat
together."
Seeing the startled relief on their faces, she stated, "And don't get dressed.
It's too easy to lie when you are dressed."
Charles, disappointed that he wasn't to dress, uttered, "Huh?"
"Clothes are the first great lie people tell each other. People hide who and
what they are by wearing clothes. And Susan, no make-up either. The boy needs to
see when you get flushed with excitement and blush from embarrassment. He needs
to see your erect nipples as much as you need to see his stiff cock."
The couple watched grandmother leave the room. Susan turned to Charles and said,
"It's going to be a different kind of week than I expected."
He replied, "I think it's going to be a different kind of marriage than either
of us considered."
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Posted: 2004-07-14
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