Chapter 13
A Hug and a Kiss

The drive to Chris’ Supper Club was pretty quiet. I think I was witnessing the shop till you drop syndrome in both of them. It was on the drive back down US 70 that I realized that we hadn’t had anything to eat since around ten. Here it was almost four in the afternoon.

This was the first time Sunny had been to Chris’. I didn’t know what she was expecting but any reservations she may have had were removed as the meal progressed. Maggie, the hostess, was very attentive and welcomed Sunny like she was a long lost sister. Her and Jennifer talked about school and Jens jumping to fifth grade.  Somehow she managed to involve all three of us in her good natured ramblings as she got us seated.

The food wasn’t anything fancy but it was very good, as usual. I’m not a big drinker but a Wild Turkey and water seemed in order when Sunny ordered Southern Comfort and coke. By the time we were finished I noticed the Jen was looking at Sunny differently as she was telling us about her schedule. My niece was slumped back in her chair. Something was going on between them. I couldn’t figure out what but was sure any explosion between them would affect me.

“So when ARE you coming back?” I asked. It seemed like a simple question. 

Sunny looked at us before she said anything. “I’ll be back for Jens’ birthday.”

Jen must have had her mind on something else because she suddenly jumped in her seat and focused her attention on Sunny. “That’s my birthday! I’m going to be eight. Gene has a room for us at the Fish.”

“That’s the Dolphin, Jen.” She ignored me. 

Sunny for her part leaned over to Jennifer and said, “I know Jen. I agreed to fly Alice to Myrtle Beach for your birthday.”

Jen missed the part about Sunny flying Alice into Myrtle Beach. I’m sure that would come, later. Probably as soon as she saw Sunny and Alice walking off the plane.  

Sunny looked at me. “I know I wasn’t invited but Alice doesn’t like to flying commercial into little airports. It’s not like it’s a grass strip or anything. The Air Force has facilities there. Besides she had this idea that if I flew her up to Myrtle Beach on Wednesday you and I could spend some time together before Jens party on Friday. If you don’t want me too I can still find a place somewhere till we leave on Sunday.” 

I was crushed. Was this weekend that bad for her? That Sunny would even consider trying to find a room at the Redneck Riviera on Fourth of July weekend was painful. Besides it was unrealistic. Everything was booked solid for months.

I reached across the table and took Sunnys’ hand. She didn’t pull it back or flinch. The whole time I talked I held onto this one little piece of her. Sunny/Agnes never squeezed my hand. She never looked down to were we were touching. The worst part was she never looked up into my eyes. The woman that had captured my heart just by walking off of a plane had locked me out.

“Don’t even think that, baby. I want to be with you as much as I can. You’re a part of our life now,” I pleaded. “You said that I should face it, that we’re in love. I am and I think...no, I know you are to. Don’t throw up a wall now. It’s a little too late for that.”

Finally Sunny raised her eyes to mine. They were filled with tears. There’s this old song, ‘It’s called Breaking Up Is Hard to Do’. So is staying together. I should know.” 

I cursed Alice in my mind. Who in the hell gave her permission to get her fingers in my love life?  And why did she have to tell Jennifer about her match making between Sunny and I. Then there was that stupid thing about us getting married and adopting Jennifer. Sunny and I were made for each other. If we didn’t kill each other first.  The jury as still out on the last part.

As our eyes met I realized there are more ways to kill someone than the obvious ways. Just doing nothing was just as bad as doing the wrong thing. 

I took my other hand and wiped away a tear rolling down her cheek. “Sunny? I love you and want you to be part of my life. I don’t know were this is going to go or how long we have. But I’m going to make the most of every second we have together. I don’t know how you feel or what your thinking but I hope you want this to last a little longer than just a long weekend.

I was concentrating so hard on trying to say the right things that the pain in my hand startled me. Sunny had taken her other hand and placed it over ours and squeezed very hard. Finally she said, “Don’t you think for one minute that I don’t love you, Mr. Gene McGuire.” The tears were flowing freely know even with the determination in her voice. I reached further across the table and put my free hand behind her neck and squeezed lightly. “I fell for you that first time too.” When I asked you to kiss me to shake off that pilot I thought it was just...I don’t know? A diversion maybe? I didn’t know what I was getting into except for all the bull that Alice and Jennifer were telling me in Chicago. I thought it was to good to be true. You know what they say about if it’s to good to be true?”

Sunny looked down at our hands. “Alice told me you were the best boyfriend she’d ever had. When you were together you made her feel special. She even told me about the time you guys went dancing.”

Dancing? Alice and I didn’t go dancing very often. “I don’t remember.”

Sunny smile a genuine smile for the first time since we left the house. “She said you wouldn’t remember. She said you have this loyalty thing inside of you. The person you come with is the one you leave with, no matter what. Let me give you a hint, Fantasyman” Now her smile turned into a combination smirk and leer. “The University of North Carolina?”

Still a blank. I was Alice’s escort to several of those graduate student dinner/dance things. 

Sunny just shook her head and smiled even more. “I didn’t believe her when she said you wouldn’t remember. Okay lover boy, just a couple of more hints. “Valentines Day, Masters Program dinner? A tall brunette wearing a yellow sheath with her tits hanging out?”

The light bulb went off. Mention a pair of breasts would of been all it took. Was that young Grad Student wearing a yellow dress? Damn that was, what? Seven years ago? Alice probably remembered if she was wearing jewelry and even if it was real.

Sunny lowered her head and turned to Jennifer. Double shit. I’d forgotten about Jen while Sunny was talking about tits.

“Has Gene ever told you about him and Alice?” Thankfully she was keeping the volume down. 

Unfortunately she was going somewhere a seven year old shouldn’t go. At least not my seven year old.

“Sunny? Remember who you’re talking to,” I warned.

Sunny looked at me and smiled. I’ll keep it clean. You can tell her the good parts later, if you want. She turned away from me and was looking at Jennifer again. 

Jen for her part had her elbows on the table watching all this. The thought crossed my mind that being the responsible adult might be a little late seeing as the word ‘tits’ were hanging out there, so to speak. She definitely looked interested as she watched both of us like she was looking at a tennis match.

“So has he?” Sunny pressed on.

Jen never stopped looking at both of us. “Just that they were together a long time and she got mad at him because he didn’t want to get married and left. When she came to visit she didn’t look mad. Actually she was kinda happy and sad all together.

“That’s pretty close. Except she wanted to change him and make him move to Chicago.”

Jennifer frowned at that little bit of information.

I didn’t want this discussion between the two of them to get side tracked to me. The less Jen knew the better. “Sunny? We were talking about Miss Yellow sheath and her...umm...twins.

Jen gave me a confused look. “She had babies too? Wow!”

I’d had it. I pulled my hands away and leaned back in the chair. I pointed to both of them. “I give up! Go ahead and tell the story. Just remember this place closes at midnight.” Now I was the one sitting back with my arms crossed. I didn’t need to hear the story. I’d been there.

Sunny turned to Jen. “Alice was in grad school at UNC.” It wasn’t exactily ‘Once Upon A Time’, but close.

“The dump on the hump.” Jennifer mumbled.

“Huh.”

“We hate them TarHeels. Gene and I are NC State all the way.” Jen looked to me for conformation.

I nodded

Sunny looked at me. “Isn’t she a little young for in-state rivalries?”

“What can I say? This is North Carolina. Loyalty starts in the womb here.” I smiled at her. “Get on telling her about my sad life.

Now decades later, I wish I’d kept my big mouth shut.

Sunny shook her short blond hair. 

“Anyway,” she continued, “Alice made, or rather forced Gene to take her to a dinner and dance at school. It was very formal and she squeezed him into a tuxedo.”

Jennifer's eyes got big as she looked at me. “A penguin suit?”

I nodded. Jen had never seen me in a real suit, let alone a real formal tuxedo. Alice actually bought me the thing and I’d worn it exactly twice.  It was in the hall closet, next to some old uniforms, and had been taking up space since Alice left. I told myself wasn’t going to get involved in this.

“So she drags him off to Chapel Hill.” Sunny never stopped talking. “Dinner was great. Gene danced enough to keep Alice happy. Made small talk, like grownups do, with her friends. Alice said it was a wonderful evening. The problem started as they were about to leave. Alice had to go to the bathroom and left him in a back corner so he wouldn’t get into any trouble.”

Sunny looked at me. Her eyes were sparkling. Most guys can tell when they’re in trouble. Her eyes may have sparkled but something told me watch out. “Did you stay out of trouble, Fantasyman?” 

I shrugged.

Sunny turned back to Jennifer. Jen is absorbing every word. I should of stopped Sunny right there but it was to late. If she didn’t get the whole story now I’d be in for a lifetime of, Jen, pleading, bargaining, and moaning to tell her the whole story.

“So Alice comes out of the bathroom and there is this beautiful, young, brunette grad student press up against your uncle. She had her arms around his neck and he was just standing there. Alice said she looked like she was trying to hold on to him to keep from drowning.”

Sunny was right on so far. That was the problem. Why do girlfriend's have to have to have elephant memories? They never seemed to forget every one of my embarrassing moments.

“So Alice started walking up when this bimbo pulls down the front of her dress and flashes Gene. Alice said that they were the best pair of breasts she’s ever seen. Little coral color nipples on all natural D+’s.”

Sunny was taking this a little to far. “Sunny? Back off a little.” That’s way to much information for Jen.”

Both sets of eyes locked on mine.

“I've heard worse in school Gene. Breasts and tits ain’t the worst thing I’ve heard.” Jennifer went first. “Remember Gina? She had a regular potty mouth. The things she use to say about the girls who had boobies made her brother’s face turn red.”

That stopped Sunny for a minute. Before she started to really think about that, she said, “You don’t like the way I’m telling it? You tell her how it happened.  Go ahead, big fella.”  

What the hell.

Sunny sat back a little as I moved my chair toward the two of them. “You want to know? Fine, here it is.”

“The girl was drunk in the first place.” I began. “Second, she couldn’t of been twenty three years old.”

“Dunk my ass. She was a slut looking to steal you away. I’m twenty-eight and your almost thirty-nine so what’s the big deal.” Sunny mumbled to herself as well as the couple eating behind her. “Not like she had much of a chance anyway with Mr. Boy Scout here.”

Sunny was right but I didn’t like her tone. I started to wonder if her limit was all most one drink.

“Anyway she’s telling me that her and I should leave now and dump Alice. She had this really nice Corvette that I could drive if we left now. The more we talked the more it seems she knew Alice and they didn’t like each other much. It was a revenge thing I guess. When none of that worked she pulls down the top of her dress and out pop her ti...breasts.” Double shit this was harder than I thought. “Alice is right. They were a fine set of twins. All healthy and everything.  

“Anyway out of the corner of my eye I see Alice coming over and she’s smiling. Ms. D+ cup is still talking to me about how she likes them touched as Alice walks around behind her. The first time she knows Alice is there is when Alice whispers in her ear, “You really should join the Coast Guard honey. With that pair you’d never drown.”

I closed my eyes for a second and smiled. It was what you’d call a Kodak moment. I remembered the whole thing in detail. “Ms. D+’s eyes went wide. Her arms flew off from around my neck. I could tell she was scared to death.”

“Alice said she peed in her panties.” I guess Sunny was doing the color commentary. Jennifer just giggled.

“That I don’t know about.” I needed to wrap this up, quick. Anyway Alice looks at me then at this girl...”

“A snake with great tits,” Sunny muttered.

“...and then Alice moves around to me and grabs my butt.”

“Then what happened?” Jen was definitely into this discussion.

“Well let’s see. Alice made the introductions and told her that I was taken. Then she let’s me know that Ms. D+ would jump the bones of anything that moved. She did have nice bones as I remember.”

Sunny gave a snort from her side of the table.  We both looked at Jennifer as she started laughing. Did she really catch that remark? Did she understand it?

I pointed to Sunny. “Your turn.”

She gave me a strange look before saying, “No, go ahead and finish. Your doing so-o-o well.” Sunny leaned back in her chair. Now what was wrong with her?

“Well, the woman left in a huff after calling Alice all sorts of names. Alice gave me a real nice kiss and we went home. ” I waited for a comment from Miss Davenport about the shortened story. Now she was glaring at me saying nothing. What the hell was with her, anyways? “End of story.”

I looked at Jennifer who had listened to every word. “That was great!? Wow, she’s cooler than I though!”

I just shook my head at Jen’s remark. Alice was cool? I thought I was cool?

There was more to it of course. Things that were cool if you were over twenty-one or thirty-one. The thing was I wasn’t going to tell my niece that Alice had unloaded on the girl with both barrels. Alice used words I hadn’t heard since I was In Country. Ms. D+ was way out of her league. In true Alice style she wasn’t quiet about it. As I remembered, and I remembered very well, there were various detailed references to how she fucked and sucked her way into grad school. That’s how she stayed there and despite not having a single brain cell between her ears. All this time Alice’s hand was stroking me through my pants. I could feel my boxers starting to tent and push against my pants. Finally Alice had enough of her and told D+ she couldn’t handle what was ‘standing tall next to her.  That I needed a real woman and she wasn’t woman enough for me. What made me almost loose it was when, towards the end, she told her that despite my twelve inch cock I’d never hit the sides or the bottom of the over used pussy, D+ had. I was trying so hard not to laugh that I didn’t dare correct Alice on my dimensions. Besides the look that D+ gave me was one of awe. I liked that, a lot.

Finally D+ had enough, or realized that anyone near by could easily hear what Alice was saying. Luckily I saw some thing in D+’s eyes and grabbed her arm as she swung it towards Alice. I looked at her surprised face. “Sorry darlin’,” I said in my best Carolina accent, “I can’t let you do that here. People might object. If you want to take it outside I’m sure Miss Cunningham would be more that happy to break your pretty lil’ face for you. Course with a busted nose y’all might have ta’ stop sucking dick for a while, the  air flow and all. Just think about you grade point going DOWN?” I gave her one of my better little boy looks. Her face turned red then black as she figured she’d been double teamed. She stomped away as Alice and I looked at each other and laughed.

On the way out Alice found her and handed her something. When I asked later she said it was a twenty dollar bill. That was a lot of money in the early sixties so I asked her why. “Every place that had good entertainment had a cover charge,” was Alice’s reply. That was the best entertainment she’d had in years. Of course I thought that was Ms. D+’s going rate when she got back to her corner on Franklin Street. I could have been wrong.

I looked back over to Sunny who was still sitting back in her chair. She still had that look on her face. 

“Anyone for dessert?” I asked. Both of them shook their heads no, so we went home.

No one said a word the whole drive.

Even after we got home things didn’t get much better.

Everything was unloaded and put into the third bedroom. Three was planning on delivering and setting up the beds on Monday. There would be plenty of time before Sunny left, on Wednesday, to get things put back together.

When everything was finished, the three of us collapsed on the couch. It was almost seven. Where had the day gone?

“Gene?” I heard form my left. “Can we stay in tonight?”

I looked over at Sunny. Her head was back on the couch, eyes closed. She looked like she was asleep.

“Sure baby. I’ve got stuff to eat if we get hungry.”

She turned her head towards me and smiled. “Thanks. I’m just tired that’s all. I didn’t get much sleep last night. Not that I’m complaining. I’m going to take another shower. Okay?”

Sunny rolled towards me and kissed me. It was a very nice kiss. There wasn’t any of the hungry passion of our previous kisses. Maybe this was going to be okay after all

As I watched Sunny walk towards my bedroom I heard another voice from my right.

“Gene?”

“Yah, Jen.”

“Can I go over to Mary’s house for a while?” My niece asked me. “I’m going to shoot some hoops.”

“Okay. Just don’t invite yourself over for supper or a sleep over.”

With that Jen went to her room to change. 

Ah-h the power of the young. I knew once Jen and Mary started shooting hoops they’d be at it for hours. I was so tired I could fall asleep at any moment and to hear tell it, Sunny was in about the same shape. 

The unfortunate part of all this was that I was all alone. I think the feeling and thoughts I had sitting on the couch were ones that most men have at one time or another. Here I had a woman that I loved and now, I wasn’t so sure that was enough. I made up all sorts of reasons for Sunny not to come back. My mind darted back and forth from our ten year age difference to my living in North Carolina and her in Florida. I even thought about her becoming a commercial pilot and flying all over the world. How long would that last? Those things had been known to crash. Then again would she ever want to get married? How about children? Did we really have anything in common besides the sex?

Or was this just a long weekend?

I closed my eyes as I heard a door open and close somewhere in the house.

“Gene? Are you okay?”

I opened my eyes to see Jen standing in front of me. She was wearing her red and white shorts and a old Wolf Pack shirt on top.  “Yah sure Jen. All set to go?”

She looked a little unsure for some reason. “Sho-nuff. Could you’z braid my’ums hair?” My niece replied. “Sorry, I couldn’t stop it. It just sort’a came out, Ya’ll know?”

Her smile shook the blues out of me.

“Sure, have a seat. I don’t care how you say it, just don’t say, well you know? adult words?” I was kind of glad to do something instead of just getting more upset over nothing.

“Boobies, breasts, pee pee?” Now she was grinning like a idiot. Did she really enjoy torturing her uncle? It sure looked like it from here.

“Yah, words like that. Now sit.” I wondered if Ozzie and Harriet had this problem with Ricky and David.

Jen’s usual place was sitting on the table in front of the couch. She would watch TV as I braided her hair.  As she handed me her brush and comb Jennifer moved forward and suddenly sat on my lap. Her face was inches from mine.

I was so shocked at this I dropped the brush. “What are you doing, Jen?”

I felt her settling in. I could feel her wiggling as she got comfortable. “I just wanted to get closer for a little bit, Gene. Are you okay?” Suddenly she was so close to me I could feel her breath. 

Actually I wasn’t okay. First off Jennifer was sitting crotch to crotch. As she started to wiggle it had a very grown-up effect me. The suggestion as well as the pressure was just too great. Let me put it this way, I was getting hard as a rock. If it was Sunny on my lap doing what Jen was doing my response would of been different. A lot different. “Could you turn around and move to the table, like usual? I can’t braid your hair with you facing me.”

All I got out of Jennifer was an “Okay.” Then she dragged herself up my leg till she was standing again. Then she turned around and was sitting on my knees not on the coffee table. That didn’t help anything.

“What happened to sitting the coffee table?” I really wanted her off my lap. This was not good. 

“This is more comfortable.” Was her quick reply.

I gave up. I was getting tired of trying to figure out women even if they’re seven or twenty eight. Why fight it.

As I started combing Jen’s brown hair she started rambling on as she usually did. I didn’t get any kind of answer why she decided to sit on my lap. I tried to concentrate on untangling her snarls that seemed to stretch all the way down her back. I loved the length of her hair. It was just above the middle of her back. The problem was while I wondering what had gotten into Jen I zoned out. I combed the same place over and over.

“Gene? You listening?”

What’d you say?”

“I asked when am I going to get boobies?”   

I wished she’d stop that. My heart could only take so many shocks. “Say what, girl?” I thought I told her not to do that.

“I wondered when I was going to get  boobies, breasts? You know, like Sunny and Alice.” She sounded serious. I knew what was bringing this on and cursed myself for doing it. Sunny bringing up that dinner/dance was going to be a problem. Once a seven year old gets a hold of some idea watch out. “Probably not till your about eleven or twelve. After that they’ll grow. I don’t know if you’ll be like Alice or Sunny but you’ll get them.”

“Eleven!? That’s almost...”I could almost see Jennifer doing the math in her head. “...four whole years!” 

I saw her shoulders slump in despair. I wondered what the problem was. “Tell you what, Jen. When you out in Los Angeles with Alice ask her. Guys might like big brea...boobies,” I quickly corrected, “but smaller one are okay too. Besides as you get older, if your bigger up top, you can have problems. It might be hard playing basketball if they were big like Sunny’s.” I was going to say that smaller breasts hold up better. They don’t sag and seem perkier. The ones I saw and played with were, anyway. But I didn’t. Instead I said, “Rubber band? And quit saying boobies and breasts!”

Jennifer raised one hand and I slid the elastic band off her wrist and on the single braid on the middle of her back. It looked really good. Lois showed me how to braid Jen’s hair the year before. It was shorter then but Jennifer didn’t seem to want to cut it.  “There you go Jen, all done. A single braid right in the middle of your back. You really need a trim. Want one before we go to the beach?

“Nah, Alice said she’d take me to Rodeo Drive for one. Do you think there’ll be cowboys there?”

“Maybe, I don’t know. I don’t think California people are into real cowboys. But who knows. With all the Westerns they make there might be some.” All I knew about the left coast back then was the Naval Base in San Diego.

“Okay!” With that Jen got off my lap. 

I thought she was headed out the door but she climbed back on the couch and sat back down on my lap. She was facing me, again.

Suddenly it became very hard for me to breath as she settled over my crotch. Her arms went around my neck, just like Sunny’s had earlier in the day. I felt her small arms shaking on my shoulders as she looked into my eyes. Her hazel eyes were staring into mine. I wondered what she was trying to do as she came closer to me. I was about ready to get up when Jen leaned into me.

“Jen this isn’t a good idea.”

Her little face was just inches from mine. I could feel her breath on my face again. “She loves you, you know.”

I barely heard her as I took in her scent. It was...I don’t know...fresh? Maybe clean or innocent. I swear I had only one drink at Chris’ but my head was starting to spin. “What?”

“Sunny? Your new girlfriend? The girl in your shower? Sunny loves you.” Jennifer’s eyes were getting lighter all the time we talked.

Suddenly my head cleared. I almost forgot about the squirming seven year old on my lap. I almost said yes. “How do you know?” Her arms continued to hug my neck as she looked at me.

Jennifer shot me that, one of us is stupid, look.  I wasn’t buying it. “Don’t do that, Jen, just tell me. I don’t think she’s coming back.” The iris’s were almost as clear as when we shared that Little Kiss in her room.

With all the certainty of seven years of experience. “She’ll be back.”

How much was hope and how much was something she actually knew? I had no idea. “How do you know, Jen? She hasn’t told me she loves me all afternoon, even though I’ve told her a dozen times.”

Double Shit. What was I doing talking to my niece about my love life, anyway?

I got a little distracted while I was thinking about that. Jen moved in closer and our lips met. Actually she kissed me! And it was a wonderful kiss. It wasn’t a Little Kiss it was just a kiss. Yah, I thought, and the Grand Canyon is just a ditch. I wondered if I’d survive to be forty.

I felt something wet on my face. I pushed Jen’s face away from mine. She was crying.

“What’s wrong, Jen?”

Her tears were falling and my niece seemed not to notice. “I just want you to be happy, I thought Sunny coming here would make you happy again.” she sobbed. “You were a lot more happier than I’ve ever seen you when Alice was here. I saw you guys touching and kissing all the time. You guys were silly. It was great. Even after she left you were goofy and had a silly smile on your face. Even in the morning before your coffee.  I dunno why, but now you and Sunny seem so happy sometimes.” ...sniff... “Then you act more like Gary and Linda.”

What ever I thought before about Jen was out the window. More like Gary and Linda? “We’re nothing like your mom and dad.”

“Sure you are,” Jennifer wasn’t mad but truly worried that Sunny might leave. “You talk to each other and hold hands but this afternoon it seems like your not...” She was searching for the right words again. I wondered if all seven year olds were like this. I just thanked whom ever above for bringing this little girl into my life. “..I dunno, not really together. Yah know?”

I tried to figure out what she was trying to say when a light bulb went off over my head. “Are you looking for the word committed?”

“What’s that?”

Obviously that wasn’t the word. Still I plodded on. “It’s like a promise to be there for someone. Like you and Mary.”

“What about Mary?”

I had her interested now.

“Say there was a bully at school.”

“Like Danny?” Jen just changed the subject.

“Dirty Danny is the school bully?”

“Nah! Just fourth grade. He’s not big enough to take on the whole  school,” was Jen’s reply.

“Oh. Anyway say Danny wanted to kick Mary’s butt for her lunch money. And..”

Jen laughed. “He couldn’t kick high enough. He’s too short and not big enough. Mary is going to be the tallest fifth grader and almost as tall as a Junior High girl.”

Now I was getting exasperated. All I wanted was to give her an example. “Work with me here Jen. Pretend Danny is my size.” I saw she was about to say something else that was totally logical. “Let me finish please? Just pretend?” I wondered if it would get easier after she turned eight.

“Okay, let’s say Danny is my size and wants Mary’s lunch money or he’s going to punch her in the face.”

Jennifer ran that through her head and nodded.

So far so good. “Now here you come along. You don’t want to see Mary hurt so you tell Danny You have more lunch money and he’s not going to get it.”

“Why would I say that?” When Jen said that I knew I had her.

“Because you and Mary are more than just friends. Would you step in front of a bully so Mary wouldn’t get hurt?”

“Sure.” 

Bingo.

“Why?”

“We’re best friends since I moved here. I don’t want to see her get hurt.”

Jen just made the connection. “That’s being committed or having a commitment to someone. To take what ever comes your way because you’re their friend, even a punch. Forever, good or bad. To want to do something for someone else, even if they don’t ask. To spare them pain, even if it hurts you.” Damn that even sounded good to me.

“What happened to my parents comment?”

“It’s commitment. Somewhere between getting married and you moving here they forgot why they got married.”

I was on my second tour In Country when Gary married Linda. Our mom was still a live then. We didn’t know she had only a couple of years to live. Mom wrote me about the wedding. She told me all about the flowers and how the bridesmaid dresses looked liked they were made of curtain material. The food was okay and the Beer and Pepsi were free.  

I came home later on a thirty-day leave, between my second tour and my shortened third one and we talked about everything. She mentioned that after the wedding, every time she invited them over one or the other couldn’t make it. Mostly it was Linda. The promises they made, were to them just suggestions.

As I sat there with they’re daughter on my lap I wanted to tell her that they still loved her very much. I know it was a lie. Jennifer knew it was a lie but if I said it she’d make believe that it was true, just for me.  

“So me and Mary are committed friends?” I noticed that she was struggling with that word.

“Mary and I and yes, best friends, come hell or high water.” I realized what I’d just said. “You get the idea.”

“You said Hell.” Jen corrected me. I guess it wasn’t important because she just kept on talking. “And you and Alice?” 

“Very much.” I saw the doubt in Jen’s eyes, as I said it. “If it wasn’t would I give her something so valuable to me, for the summer?”

I could see the wheels turning in her head. Finally I saw a little smile on her face. “I’m valuable to you? Are we committed”

“Your very precious to me and yes, we are committed to each other. You are part of my life, Jen. Even when you get older and have real boyfriends you’ll still be precious to me.” I wasn’t thinking anymore. No woman I’d ever known could affect me like this seven year old sitting on my lap. Three years of living here and now I didn’t know what I’d do with out her. “I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you, you know that. I’d take any beating to protect you.”

“What about Sunny?” 

I looked into Jen’s eyes as they turned back to natural hazel color. What about Sunny, I thought. I closed my eyes. “I think I’ve really fallen for her Jen. She’s everything I’m looking for. She’s successful, she wants to do things with her life. And we have fun together.” I could see Sunny in my mind. The first time I’d seen her. The jealousy I felt when she came off the plane with that pilot. The first kiss and more, a lot more.”

“You know she’s crazy?”

I looked at Jennifer. “She’s not crazy, Jen.”  

“Yes she is,” she insisted. “It’s not a bad crazy. I like her a lot but something is not right. I don’t think she likes me.” The tears started rolling down her face again.

I wasn’t sure what to say. “Jen, she likes you, a lot. It’s just that she has, I don’t know, a problem believing this is all real. She’s gone through some bad times. Has she said anything to hurt you?”

“No.”

“How do you know then.”

“I dunno.” The tears had stopped for now. My cute seven-year-old girlfriend wiggling on my lap had disappeared and was replaced by my seven year old niece. I wanted to help Jen get over the fear that Sunny didn’t like her. “It’s just the way she looks at me, sometimes. Like I’m in the way. What if she’s like Linda?”

I started a slow burn. That was the second time Jen called her parents by their first name. “She’s your mom, mother, maw, anything but Linda. I know it’s hard sometimes but they really are your parents, Jen.”

I didn’t see any anger on Jennifer’s face. All I saw was her chest rise and fall in a long sigh. “I guess, ‘cept for one thing.”

Don’t you hate it when they agree? Then they say except for… Jen was learning early the art of negotiation. “They’re not my parents, you are.”

I sunk further into the couch. “Come again?”

Now Jen was upset. I watched in fascination as her eyes darkened. “I’ve seen my real dad, what, ten times in three years?” 

I nodded. 

“He doesn’t call, he doesn’t write, he doesn’t FUCKING care.” Now she was really upset. 

Now I was upset. “Jen don’t cuss like that.” What else could I say? My brothers daughter was absolutely correct. Everything except for the number of visits, which I thought was a little high. But Jen was right. Gary didn’t care. Linda was marginally better. She still lived in the apartment but was gone most of the time, traveling. The rest of the time she was just to busy.  Linda was the one who wrote the checks for my taking care of Jennifer. I deposited each one in Jen’s college account on the twentieth of every month.

I wiped away the rest of tears on her face with my hands. As I stroked her face she turned her head into my palm. I knew it was wrong to be this intimate with my niece but I couldn’t help it. An old feeling seemed to take over. Even back then I knew it was wrong but I didn’t want that to end either.  

Alice said some day Jennifer and I would have sex. I totally denied it. I even got angry at her. All she did was laugh at me. I could see my road ahead with Jen. It was still a little foggy but she was on it with me, somewhere. 

I lightly kissed her on her forehead. “Go wash your face and practice your hook shot, okay?”

Reluctantly Jen got off my lap. Even more reluctantly I let her go. As she turned to wash her face Jennifer stopped and looked at me. “I know the word I was looking for.”

“What’s that Jen?” 

“Friends. This afternoon you and Sunny weren’t friends.”

It was time to cut my losses. I didn’t say anything.

A little later I heard the door to the garage open and close as Jennifer went over to the Kowalski’s to shoot hoops.

I sat on the couch for a while. It seemed like hours but it was probably only minutes. I heard the basketball slamming into the backboard, across the street. I guess I did fall asleep after all.