June

This was the way summers in North Carolina are supposed to be. I sat on the front porch looking at the Carolina Blue-sky fading into every shade of yellow and orange on the horizon. Two things made me smile.  One was the phrase ‘Carolina Blue’. That’s the school colors for the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, not my favorite school. I grew up as a NC State supporter. Those colors are red and white. While I have a very strong dislike for UNC-CH, (yes I do have a bumper sticker that reads ‘I love State and anyone who beats UNC!’) Jennifer’s reaction on the other hand is just short of pure hate. Anything close to the light blue of Carolina was suspect. It got so bad that she went through her closets, at the end of the school year, and tried to throw out anything blue. Only a not so gentle reminder that Alice had bought most of her new clothes stopped her.

The other thing that made me smile was what I was hearing. The thunk-thunk-thunk of a basketball. I love college basketball. The Triangle Area has the best concentration of teams in the country, NC State, UNC-Chapel Hill and Duke. One or more are always in the big dance as they call it. The thunk-thunk-thunk of a basketball was music to my ears.  What really surprised me was that it was Jennifer bouncing the ball. She started getting into sports at school. Her gym coach mentioned that she was really good at basketball. He said it helped that not only was she the second-tallest third grader in school but she picked up handling the ball really easy. 

I mentioned that Mary Kowalski lived across the street. All he could do was nod his head. Mary was the tallest third grader in school. So they practiced almost everyday behind the Kowalski’s house. Jim Kowalski, Mary’s dad, had set up a net and had enough concrete poured for a real half court. His wife pitched a fit when she lost part of her flowerbeds but this was important to his way of thinking. Besides, he didn’t do it for his daughter but for his son, David.

Let me explain.

The Kowalski’s are really fine people. They were friends of mine even before Jennifer came to stay. Jim, during his college years, played some basketball as a center for Boston College. During his ‘off time’ in college, as he put it, he’d play football or anything else. He said the other sports were just a way to stay in shape when he wasn’t playing a real sport, basketball. He’s about six seven and David is six even and still growing and in just the seventh grade. The coach at the high school was drooling just thinking about David joining his team next year.

So here was a court that wasn’t used all that much during the summer. David was usually out with his friends during the day and early evenings so the two girls took over. When I got home I used to watch them playing a little one on one. Then a little passing back and forth, a little horse, whatever. I was starting to see a pattern developing between the two. Jen would bring it in and pass off to Mary who was standing close to the free throw line. Mary would pretend she was dodging defenders and, most of the time bounce- pass it back to Jen who would drive to the net. It worked perfectly except when Jen tried to sink it. That’s when all of three foot six Jennifer had a problem getting it to the net. She just didn’t have the arm to push it up.

By mid-June Jen was cutting for the basket as good as anyone in high school. And the arm? She was making almost half of her shots. They weren’t pretty but two points are two points. 

Well, just about every night I’d rub her arms and shoulders as she pushed herself harder and harder. We would sit in the living room, me on the couch and Jennifer sitting on the floor facing the TV in her shirt and shorts. I would rub her shoulders and arms through her T-shirt, massaging the tightness and sore muscles in her arms and back. 

Finally one night after practicing a little too long she walked in the living room with a tube of something in her hand. She stood there and just looked at me. With a shakiness in her voice she said, “Gene, could you put this on please? Mary’s mom said it would help.” All I could do is hold out my hand as Jennifer walked closer. I looked down and saw a tube of ointment. She had also put her hair clips in my hand as well.  I didn’t trust myself to say a word. 

Jennifer stepped back and just stood there looking at me. Her hazel eyes were boring into me. “I just dried my hair so could you put it up loose?”  The softness of her voice was finding its mark in my heart. “Miz Kowalski said not to get that stuff in my hair.” I know Jen was asking but the tone almost made it sound like she was pleading.  

“Why didn’t you let Mrs. Kowalski do it?” It didn’t sound like my voice. In fact it sounded like it came from some old man behind me. I almost turned around to see who else was here. Jennifer’s voice stopped me cold.

“She said it wouldn’t be no problem if you put it on.”

“I suppose I could.” I was starting to wonder why Mary’s mom said that. I was getting nervous again.

“Well...?” Jennifer hesitated. The color was starting to rise on her face. I found out early that it’s pretty hard to embarrass a child. Especially one like Jennifer.

‘This ought to be real good.’ I thought.

“...Well?” Jen was trying to put together her answer. “Well, David said he’d rub it in but his mom said no. He kinda looked disappointed when she told him you should do it.”

“So what's the big deal having David rubbing your shoulders? We’ve been doing it every night.” I didn’t know what the big deal was.  She got along really well with the whole family. Besides, it was Jennifer.

Now Jennifer’s face was really red. “Well Miz Kowalski said it had to be rubbed in real good, you know, all over.”

With that Jen reached down and pulled her tee shirt over her head. I looked at her and she looked every where else but at me. Jennifer held the shirt and slowly twisted the material till she couldn’t twist it anymore.

All I could do was stare at her. She still had the body that every seven-year-old had. Everything was up and down. There wasn’t a curve in sight. Even her chest didn’t have the beginnings of the familiar rise and fall of a grown woman. I tried to imagine her as an adult and failed.

In my mind I pictured Sunny or Alice’s breasts on her slim frame. How did that work? As we say down here, ‘not too good.’ All I saw was a seven-year-old with a c-cup. That particular vision in my head almost brought a smile to my lips. I quickly erased it from my face as Jennifer finally noticed me again.

My mind was now locked on this young girl.  Someone who had been living under my roof for three years and suddenly, in that instant, looked older than she was. I wondered how I couldn’t have noticed. I never consciously thought of her like this before. I had feelings for her and they were growing. But they were under control, I thought. In the past weeks since I kissed her, and since Alice had left, things had started changing. I thought I was still the same. I was always worried about what was going to happen. The kisses and holding hands were one thing. This, however, was a whole new level to our relationship. Nudity. 

When Jennifer had moved in, at the ripe old age of five, she took baths. I would run the water, wash her hair, then come back and clean out the tub. I learned from Lois Kowalski, Mary’s mom, how to comb and braid Jennifer’s hair. It was all, as they say, on the up and up. Before the next summer came around Jennifer had discovered showers, and washing her own hair. I could hear her singing over the shower. It was usually the latest pop song and slightly off key. I still combed out the snarls and braided her now over-the-shoulder length hair. The French braid still gave me fits sometimes but getting a single braid straight down her back and not crooked still took the longest.

Jen’s voice broke into my rambling thoughts. “Just my shoulders and arms, okay?” She still didn’t sound too sure but the look in her eyes said she was sure. “Remember, rub it in real good all over.” 

“But you’re naked!” I shouted at her. I wondered if she knew how this was affecting me.

“No I’m not!” Jennifer shouted back. “I have my shorts on.” I think she could tell I was about to say ‘no way.’  Now Jennifer sounded more determined. “Besides you can’t put that on”, pointing to the tube in my hand, “through my shirt. Right?”

“That’s not what I meant.” I tried to control my voice as I could see me losing another one. “You’re topless. You’re not five anymore. Besides after that ‘little’ kiss it’s not the same anymore.”

“I know it isn’t, Gene.” Jen still stood in front of me. Her voice was lower too. She was looking to see if I’d do this one thing for her. “It’s better. You saw my report card. Everyone says I’m happy. Miz Blanchette said the last month I blossomed. I told her I wasn’t a flower and she laughed. She said I matured. They just don’t know why. Then it must be okay, right? You’re my boyfriend and I know you won’t hurt me. Please Gene? It won’t be every night, just once in a while?”

She knew she had me, hook line and sinker. And she reeled me in.

I still wanted an out. Like that fish wanted back in the water. In both cases the answer was ‘Sorry Charlie.’ “Okay, have a seat in front of the TV. Just this once, okay?” In my mind there wasn’t an out.

Jen walked to the coffee table in front of the couch and sat on it, facing the TV, her back to me. “I said not all the time, Gene. Only when it hurts really bad, like now.”

I pulled her hair up and held the bun with her clips. As I pulled her hair off her naked shoulders I felt her shudder a little. I needed to get her mind off of what we were doing. “We have to go to Cameron Village this weekend,” I told her. It was a new shopping center in Raleigh.

“Huh?” Jen’s voice sounded far away. I could tell it wasn’t going to work.

“So you can get a bra or something to wear when I do this.” I tried concentrating on squeezing some muscle relaxant in my hand and warming it up and talking about her now-favorite pastime, shopping.  As my hands touched her shoulders she gave a little jump. “Sorry, I should have warned you it was cold.”

Jennifer relaxed and dropped her head to her chest as I started rubbing the back of her neck and moving slowly out to her arms. “That’s okay, Gene. It feels good. Real good.” I could feel her starting to sway a little as I rubbed and kneaded her shoulders.

I applied a little more and worked it in across the tops of her arms and back up. As I rubbed my fingers into her shoulders I knew this was totally different than rubbing Alice’s shoulders. I could feel the smooth texture of her skin. There was the softness of Jen’s youth as my hand moved across her back. It seems the older you get the more bumps you acquire on your body. There was dry skin and pimples and things that marred every older person. Jen didn’t have any of this, just the soft skin of youth. I could almost get lost rubbing her shoulders.

Somewhere in the background of the TV I heard a noise. I’d heard it before but not in this house. What was it?

Then I knew. It was a cat. But it was sitting right in front of me. It was Jennifer. Her chin was still on her chest and she was purring. I looked down and could feel the rumblings coming from her throat. 

“Jen?” I really didn’t want her to stop. I was totally fascinated. I’d never had a cat, or any pet for that matter, but I knew what that sound meant. It meant happy. “Did you swallow a cat?”

I felt more than heard her giggle. “Thought that was the cat that swallowed the canary, Gene? You have no idea how good that feels.”

“Almost as good as this,” I told her. I brought both hands along her shoulders and up to the nape of her neck in one slow motion. 

As my hands slid over her skin and up the back of her neck Jennifer raised her head and arched her back. Jen tried to absorb every touch and squeeze of that last touch. “Your right, that is so-o-o much better. I feel like a new woman, Gene. Thanks.” 

Very reluctantly I removed my hands and wiped them on my jeans. A new woman? She wasn’t even eight yet. What the hell was I doing to her?   The five-year-old was long gone.  She would have screamed just last year if I’d seen her without her top on.

She spoke better than most of the guys in my crew. Her vocabulary was way beyond what mine was at that age. There were still a lot of things about life Jennifer didn’t understand. I still hoped that that would still be in the distant future.

Jen turned around and smiled at me. “Alice said you were a good boyfriend but she never mentioned your hands. That's gotta be the best part.” 

I flopped back on the couch stunned. Suddenly the future didn’t seem so distant. Alice was talking to my Jennifer about our sex life? “I don’t think Alice should have told you about our time together.” 

Jennifer just kept on smiling. She stretched out as far as she could. I looked at her and tried very hard to convince myself again she was almost eight and not much older. “That’s okay Gene,” that little purr in her voice was mixing in with what she was saying. “I kept bugging her in Chicago and finally she told me. Not everything, I guess, but enough.  Thanks for rubbing my back.”  With that she got up and headed for her room.

“Remember we’re going shopping this weekend.” I told her retreating naked back.

Jen stopped and turned around in all of her topless glory. “ Why? You don’t like to shop. What are you getting?”

It was obvious she didn’t hear me before. “You’re getting a bra or something to cover your chest for the next time I rub the kinks out of your shoulders and arms.”

She was still smiling. I thought it got a little brighter some how. “That's okay, I already have that stuff. Alice bought me a training bra and stuff for when I start getting uhh-h-h breasts. And she got me a real nice two piece swimsuit when we go to the beach next month. I just didn’t want to mess it up.” 

Now I was pissed. My sweet Jennifer had conned me into giving her a rub topless. “Wait one damn minute, you had something you could cover up with and didn’t do it?” I wanted to scare her really bad. Up till then I don’t think I ever cussed her out.

The plan failed. Jennifer was still smiling, just not so bright. “Because,” Jennifer purred at me, “when Sunny was here she said you were cuddly and held her just right. I didn’t believe her. Now I think I do. One of these years I wanna see how cuddly you really are.”  

“I think I’m going to have words with Miss Cunningham and Miss Davenport when I see them,” I growled back. With that I picked up Jen’s tee-shirt, balled up on the coffee table, and threw it at her. “Next time wear something on top or you can forget it.” Then came those words every parent has said since Adam and Eve had the heart to heart talk with Cain and Able. “And I mean it.”

To my surprise she caught it one handed, still smiling, and put it on. “You’re gonna talk? Cool. I know Sunny wants more from her Fantasyman but talk’s good.” With that Jennifer exploded in laughter and stumbled back into her room.

Three weeks into summer vacation and I was suddenly looking forward to school starting.

XxXxXxX

“Hi, Gene", came the voice on the other end. I could hear her smile through the phone lines.

"Hey yourself, Sunny. How did you know it was me?" I hoped she heard the smile in my voice. No matter how bad a day, all I had to do was dial 1+305 or whatever hotel she was at that night and it changed my whole attitude. This was even after Jennifer blind-sided me with the back rub. Then Alice and Sunny had advanced her sexual education by years. I had a bone to pick with Sunny and it wasn’t the one you might think it was. I was the one that had to live with Jen, not them, and their girl talk wasn’t helping. Her voice started melting my resolve to let her know what her and Alice had done.

Our calls had wound down over the past weeks to the more normal side. I called six nights straight at first. Then we agreed that every other night would be okay. It wasn't like we still didn't miss each other or tell each other we wanted to get naked and just screw ourselves senseless. That still happened but now there was a lot of 'I miss you’. Of course there was, ‘how was your day.’ ‘Any drunken businessmen grab your ass today.’ ‘Meet any lonely housewives that needed their telephone fixed?’ You know the usual small talk.

Ya, I could usually hear her smile on the other end. It was missing tonight. "You’re the only honest person I know, the only one that keeps their promises,” Sunny grumbled at me. That was a different way to say hello. “Besides, you’re the only one who knows which hotel in Houston we're in. Donna and I haven't even unpacked yet. Wanna say hi to the lez?" Did I detect a little attitude? She sounded a lot like I did when I tried to tell Jennifer something and it really wasn’t sinking in. I just hoped it wasn’t me.

I could hear Sunny passing the phone and the very pleasant voice of Donna came on. “Hi, Studley.”

“Studley?” I didn’t know anyone who was a lesbian but I didn’t think they really talked to guys that way. “You know talking like that could cancel your membership in the Lesbians of America Club.” I hoped I was making a joke.

I succeeded as she laughed at that. “I’ll take my chances, Gene.” I could tell she was in one of her moods. We’d talked maybe a dozen times since that first night, and to say I was attracted to her was an understatement. I hadn’t even met her and I knew I could easily fall in very serious like with her. Hell, I already had.  “Besides I’ve had sex with guys and it’s no big thing,” she shot back. “Only the real hard-core dykes never had a real cock. The hard part is finding the right guy to spread your legs for. One kinda like you.” 

I was speechless. Was Donna hitting on me? Someone who was supposed to be gay was telling me I had a chance to sleep with her? I needed my ears cleaned out. Before I could say anything stupid I heard Sunny in the background.

“I told you, dyke, that Gene’s off limits. He’s mine, not yours, so back off. Gimmie the damn phone.” That didn’t sound like their normal banter either. I could hear Sunny grabbing the phone as Donna tried to ease Sunny’s mind, saying “I told you I wouldn’t do anything unless you said it was okay, ya’ fucking slut. I was just joking.” 

“That’s ex-fuck’n slut to you Donna.” I wondered where this would all end when Sunny came back on the line. 

“I don’t know what I’m going to with her, Gene.” Sunny paused to take a breath. “She’s getting out of control. This afternoon as we were doing the prep for lunch she just comes right out and asks me if it’d be okay if she could give you a blow job! The worst part was I wasn’t the only one in the galley when she said it. Betty Ann and Martha were there! I damn near came unglued right there. She’s fucking lucky we were serving in coach, that’s all I can say.” I could imagine the smoke coming out of Sunny’s ears.

Let’s see, a lesbian friend and co-worker asks my bed buddy and soon- to-be lover (I hope) if she can suck me off. Okay, what do you say to that?  Probably not what I said. “Why coach?” 

I could hear the exasperation in her voice. “Didn’t you read any of that manual I sent you? Coach passengers use plastic utensils and First Class has real knives and forks. They were having steak. Okay?” That attitude I detected earlier was changing. Suddenly I heard a sniff coming through the earpiece.

Now I was worried. What could have happened to make her start crying? “What’s wrong Sunny?”

“I can’t do this Gene.” I could hear the sadness in her voice.

“Do what, Sunny?”

“This, us, everything. Do you know the last time I went three weeks without sex? It was when Roberto left me! That’s years ago”. The sniffles were getting louder. “I really thought I could.  I haven’t even had anyone to cuddle with.  I can’t wait till Friday, Gene. I almost said yes to the Captain of our fight. I’m going fucking crazy.”

“You’re coming this Friday?” That was only four days away.

Suddenly she turned from sad to mad in a heartbeat. The confident, playful voice I’d been talking to all these weeks, was starting to break. “Damn it Gene didn’t you hear anything I said? I can’t be with you. This long distance, once a month crap is going to drive me crazy. I need you more than that.”

“Have you been having nightmares again?” I was worried about the terrible dreams she used to have when she was alone.

The sniffs were still echoing in my ear. “No. I just miss your touch so much.” I knew before she needed someone to be with. She proved that the night she brought Jennifer home. Here I was in Raleigh and she had three more days alone before she would be here. “What can I do? I really don’t want to lose you, ever.”

“I don’t know, Gene. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.” Sunny sounded like she was going to either start crying for real or just hang up on me.

“Gene?” Her voice was just a whisper.

“Yes?” I whispered back into the mouthpiece. I just knew this was it.

I could hear Sunny’s breath on the phone as she said, “I’ve got to blow my nose. Hang on, I’ll be right back.”

I closed my eyes and thought I’d just had an out of body experience. I had seen enough Twilight Zone to know this wasn’t really happening. I even started hearing the theme song. Before I could say anything though I heard  Sunny put the phone down.

I wondered how long it would be before Sunny came back again I heard it picked  up again.  “Sunny?” I tried to keep my voice calm. I really didn’t want this relationship to end before it even had a chance to start.

“No, it me, Donna.”

Double Shit.  “What the hell is going on Donna?” I didn’t want to scare her but I was running out of options and time. That and the fact I needed know if this was the end of the line.

“Don’t yell at me Gene.” I could hear the panic as she whispered to me “It’s Sunny. I’ve never seen her like this. I was only kidding this afternoon like we always do. I think if she really had a knife she would have stabbed me. She’s going to explode and do something really stupid.  I don’t know what to do. All she needs is some time alone with you so you can do whatever you did before. She was on cloud nine that first week. Fuck, that didn’t make any sense, did it?”

“I’m not yelling, Donna.” I didn’t like the idea I was getting but I couldn’t see any other way. ”There’s no way I can get to you guys. Besides aren’t you supposed to be in New York tomorrow?”

“Ya. We’re getting in at seven at night and there’s some company get-together at nine-thirty.” Donna was rattling off her schedule as fast as she could. “We should be back at the hotel by two. We’re leaving early and we fly back to Miami and then two days at the training center in Tampa. Then she’s coming to see you. She’s taking the four-thirty from Atlanta.”

I took a deep breath. “You’ve been friends for a long time. I just don’t want to lose Sunny. I know you don’t want me to come between what you two have. I jus...” I didn’t get a chance to finish.

“Between us?” Donna tried to explode on me while keeping her voice down to a whisper. We’re barely friends any more. The F/A’s from PanAm got another place last week because she was...”

I didn’t have much time. Sunny would be back any minute. I had to cut it short. “Donna shut UP! She’ll be back any second. I’m trying to tell you you’re going to have to sleep with her. You’re the only one there.”

Suddenly I knew I’d pissed off another woman. “Are you fucking crazy?  Did you forget I’m a lesbian who would like nothing more than share a bed with YOUR girlfriend? And now you’re telling me you want me to?”

“It’s the only way out of...” Suddenly I heard the phone hit the desk.

A minute later I heard someone pick the phone back up. “Sorry Gene?” Sunny was back. “Sorry I got all girlie on you but it’s that time of the month, you know? I kinda lost it. ” She sounded a lot calmer.

“You don’t have to apologize to anyone. We understand.” OH SHIT, I thought.

“What do you mean, WE!” Sunny was always quick to pick up on things like that.

Suddenly our conversation was forgotten. As Sunny started tearing Donna a new one I knew right then I never wanted to cross her, ever. “You bitch!” So much for Sunny being too girlie. “I leave for a minute and you have your hooks in him again?” 

In the background I could hear Donna trying to explain as Sunny kept right on screaming at her best friend. I finally had enough.

“SUNNY! Shut up!” I screamed in the phone. 

“WHAT?” Sunny’s response was just as loud, and even angrier.  “Don’t talk to me like that Gene. You’re just as bad as she is. You want to fuck her? Fine! Go screw your dyke girlfriend, but fuck you, we’re through!”

I took a deep breath. “You’re my girlfriend, not Donna, and yes I wish you were fucking me right now. Instead we’re on the phone getting mad at each other. And you’re losing your best friend.”

I took the silence on the Houston end of the connection as a good sign. No hang-ups, cussing, crying, or objects breaking is always a good thing.

Finally I heard Sunny whisper, “Gene? Don’t hang up?  I’m sorry. What’s happening to me? I‘m lost.”  Finally she gave me the opening I needed. “I need a hug.”

I took a deep breath. “You can Sunny. Your best friend is in the same room. You may have pushed her a little hard right now but she’s still your friend. Let her give you a hug. I bet it helps.” I closed my eyes.

“What’s going on Gene?” I could hear the suspicion in her voice. 

It was time to jump in with both feet. “I know long-distance relationships are hard. I saw a lot of guys get ‘Dear John’ letters when I was the Navy. I want to make this work and so does Donna, believe it or not. Donna said I’m good for you. And I know you’re good for me. I don’t want you to call it quits, ever. I don’t want to get a letter postmarked Miami or LA or wherever you are when you decided it’s not worth it. Even if that means that you’re going to sleep with Donna. I think she’s reluctant to do it because she loves you and doesn’t want to hurt you.” 

“She did?” I knew she was looking at Donna as we were talking. The anger had fallen away. Instead Sunny had gone back to the soft voice I’d come to love.

I smiled to myself. I don’t know how women can shift emotional gears from one mood to another that quick. This time I was thankful. 

Sunny was back to whispering. “Gene I can’t do that to Donna. I mean it might work but you’re right. She wants to have sex with me. I see her looking at me, you know, in that way. I’ve been with women before, you know that, and it doesn’t do anything for me. I wouldn’t want to ruin our friendship either. You know the old saying. The best way to break up a friendship is for two people to have sex.”

I really hadn’t thought this thing all the way through. Now Sunny was talking, if I heard correctly, about having sex with Donna. “Sunny? I’m talking about cuddling not getting down with Donna. You’re going to have to do something. And this is the safest way for all of us.”

“Us?” There was no heat in Sunny’s question. Just genuine curiosity.

“Your friendship with Donna for one. I’ve never had to pick between friends and I’m not going to start now. I think Donna is a friend to both of us. It’s you I want to be with, not Donna. I’d just hoped that you’re still planning on coming up on Friday.” 

“Of course I am. What gave you that idea?” Sunny was...well, Sunny. It was like the last half-hour never existed.

Did I really want to go down that road? “Sunny? Don’t get mad or anything but somewhere between ’I can’t do this‘ and ’your dyke girlfriend‘ I thought it was over.”

“Oh that?” There was that very pleasant voice. No anger, no accusations, now it was the old Sunny. “Gene? I’ve got a secret I’ve got to tell you. I can get real bitchy during my period.”

I really wanted to say “No Shit” but held my tongue. Instead I said, “So where is Donna now? Hiding under the bed?”

That brought a giggle. “Nah! She went to the bar to have her nightly margarita. I really should make it up to her. I’ve never screamed at her like that before.”

“That sounds like a plan.  What time are you getting to RDU?” I needed to make plans.

“I’ll be there at four-thirty from Atlanta. I’ll let Evee know so she can give you the VIP treatment again. Think you can handle having me in your house till Wednesday?” I could tell she was looking forward to coming here as much as I wanted her here.

“Four-thirty Friday, got it; and yes you can stay as long as you want. I’ll be there.” That gave me time to go home and clean up before I had to go to the airport.

“I can’t wait.” I could hear the smile in her voice disappear. “One thing though.”

When I didn’t hear anything more I asked “Yes?”

“About Donna? If I ask her for a cuddle?”  I could tell Sunny was a little hesitant to bring this subject up. “All I want is a cuddle, mind you.”

“Uhh-huh” I knew were she was going. I just had to pull her chain a little.

“Stop it Gene,” Sunny scolded me. She was trying to be serious. After the argument we’d just had the last thing I wanted was to start another one. “I need to know something about us.” 

“It’s not a hard question to ask, Sunny. Do you want to know how to handle Donna and keep me happy?”

Sunny swung one eighty again with a giggle. “Trust me, I know how to keep you happy. And I’ll prove it all day Saturday, Sunday, Monday and Tuesday. Do you get long lunches during the week?”

“Yes I do and the house is fifteen minutes from the work center. Is it about Donna? Do you want to tell me now?” I needed to eat a bushel basket of oysters before Friday.

“Okay smart ass, tell me. Remember she’s my friend but you’re my lover. ” I really liked this Sunny better.

“You’re looking for a cuddle from Donna like those other women in college. But Donna’s your friend and she knows you, probably better than you think. She knows all about the guys you’ve been with, probably all the way back to UCLA.” I kept rambling, hoping that this was making sense. “I think she’s wanted to hold you as long as she’s known you. Then she probably hopes somewhere down the road she can make love to you, if you want. She’s not going to push you into anything, Sunny.  As far as we’re concerned all I want is for you to be happy. That comes first.”

There was silence on the other line. Probably half the time we spent on the phone was spent waiting for the other to say something.

“Gene?”

“Yes Agnes?” I used her real name for the first time in a long time.

“What about if Donna and I really do it? I don’t want to lose you. You’re my first real boyfriend since Roberto. I don’t want to lose you too.”

This was getting way too serious. “First, you’re not going to lose me that easily. Second, if you and Donna…well  if you do have sex, don’t tell me. Unless of course it’s really hot -- then tell me the next time you see me.”  I left the rest hanging.

That brought a laugh from Sunny. “You guys are all the same. A little girl/girl sex and you’re all hot and bothered. Well we’ll see. You’re really serious about me not telling you?”

I wondered how detailed I had to get. “It’s up to you Agnes. Tell me or don’t.  I’m not going to get mad one way or the other.

“One other thing?”  Sunny’s voice got real low, almost a cross and a whisper.

“Okay?”

“What are we going to do if Donna was serious about going down on you? She’s never said she wanted to do that to any other guy before. I know she was joking, but what if she wasn’t?”

I knew what she wanted to hear. Sunny/Agnes wanted me to say no way would I want a blowjob from Donna. Like any man I decided to chicken out. “That’s up to you, Agnes. She won’t do anything without asking you, you know that. It might be a fantasy of hers, who knows?”

“But what do YOU think?” Her voice was still down to a whisper. I wondered if her imagination was running wild, like mine was. “Would you let Donna suck you off?”

Double shit, now I’d have to answer. “If you tell her it’s okay, and if she, really wants to, then yes.”

The silence from the other end was killing me. I hoped I hadn’t given the two of them more ammunition to shoot at each other. Finally Sunny came back. 

“That’s what I thought.” Her come back sounded so normal. I guess she had the whole flight from Tampa to Los Angeles then back to Houston to think about it. “Just one thing though?”

“Okayyy?”

“I’m not saying that she’s going to do you or anything, you know? But if it does happen, try not to enjoy it too much, okay?”

The theme from the Twilight Zone was playing in my head again. With all the seriousness I could muster I said, “Of course I won’t.” I was glad we were on the phone so she couldn’t see the smile on my face.

“Right, Gene.” From her tone I could tell she wasn’t buying it. Then again she wasn’t upset either.

“Agnes, could you do me a favor?”

“I suppose I could, as long as I don’t get arrested or anything.” Yup, she was doing okay now.

“I’d like it if you two would stop calling each other names. Donna knows she’s a lesbian but I don’t think she really wants it advertised. And as for calling you a slut...” I left it hanging for a few seconds...”you’re not a slut. You’re my girlfriend now. Okay?”

The very serious voice was in my ear. “I guess that makes it official. I’m Gene’s girl now. I think I can do that. The problem with Donna is we’ve been calling each other names since we joined National together, Gene. It’s a habit now. It’s only when we’re alone...Oh-oh, the thing in the galley today? I see your point. There’s no telling what Betty Ann and Martha are going to do or say. I’ll try, and I’ll tell Donna to get with it or no Gene for her.” I was glad she had a sense of humor. It was a joke, right? “I have to go see Donna about a cuddle. After the things I said it might not work but I’ve gotta try.” Right then I heard love in her voice.

After a few minutes we both hung up.

I sat in my living room. I felt drained after that call. If sex is the most fun in a relationship, talking about it, through it, and around it is probably the hardest. I started getting those weird thoughts, like most guy do. If Donna loved Sunny as much as I loved Sunny would we both get one hundred percent of her, or fifty? Was a three way possible? That was one hell of a thought.

Those same words Jennifer and I told each other came back to haunt me. “You can love more than one person but you can only be IN love with one.”  I shook my head. First there was Alice. Then she introduced me to Sunny.  Now what? Sunny asked what would happen if Donna really wanted to give me that blowjob? No way. Life was getting way too complicated for this Carolina boy.

So who was I IN LOVE with? Two, maybe three adult women in my life and each had a part of me. Then there was Jennifer; sweet, sneaky, tricky Jennifer.