Unknown
The Joys of Being a Father by Karen Blayne
Oh by the way red tape first.
Be warned these short stories contain mature content or naughty bits and as such may corrupt you if you’re under 12, 16, 18, 21 or 25 depending where you live thus if they are not suitable for you put them back on the shelf and let them age for a year or two.
They were sort of scribbled for fun. If you’ve paid money for this book just be aware the author has not received any payment. In fact no one has permission to charge money for this book and copyright ©2019 is retained by the author.
Luv Karen
Molly walked in on the Baron. “Your coffee sir.” She put it down on the table besides him and curtsied. She watched him as he put down his paper. “My eyesight is going I’ll have to have you read it out to me soon.” “Me sir but I can’t read.” “Bring me Miss Lewis.” “Yes sir.” Molly curtsied once more.
“Miss Lewis.” Miss Lewis nervously curtsied she’d been expecting to be dismissed now for the last ten years now that Henry no longer needed a governess. She’d tried to be helpful round the estate, visiting some of the tenants and helping them with their problems but she was still waiting to be dismissed. “Molly is unable to read and write and writing seems to be getting smaller and smaller to me so teach her to read and write if you please and while I think about it the steward’s books are on the table. Go through them and check his sums then you can read them out to me so I can see what he’s up to.” “Yes sir.” She said breathlessly. “Oh and Miss Lewis when was the last time we raised your pay?” “Twelve years ago sir.” “I’ll have the steward add another ten pounds a year to your salary and three dress lengths then since I’ve noticed the estate runs more smoothly when you’re around.” “Thank you sir.” Miss Lewis felt faint he’d even noticed what she did.
“But all my friends have brought commissions.” “You are the heir.” “But I want to go with them and fight. I want to lead a troop of cavalry into battle.” For a quiet life his father agreed.
Molly sat in his lordship’s lap having her breast gently squeezed “Have you heard that your grandson is going to buy a commission?” “He’ll never last five minutes.” “Still his dad has agreed.” “Send your mum and dad into see me and have your sister and young Thomas waiting in the kitchen.” Molly wriggled slightly then kissed the baron firmly on the lips. “Your wish is my command oh lord and master.” “It’d better be, now be off with you.”
Thirty minutes later Molly’s parents were stood in front of him. “Take a seat. Molly wait in the kitchen.” They looked at him suspiciously. “My grandson wishes to purchase a commission.” They looked at each other with a sense of dread. “I want him back in one piece since he is the heir so if I can get his agreement you’ll go with him.” “I’d rather he didn’t.” “I daresay but your eldest daughter gets Willows Farm rent free if he goes whilst he is gone. If he comes back unharmed it’s for life, and five more years if he’s badly injured.” She’ll not manage the farm by herself.” “No but young Thomas could do it. So they’ll be wed.”
“Think about it. I’ll pay your wife ten shillings and sixpence a week and yourself the same as well plus any expenses.” “It could be dangerous.” “True but if you pick the right regiment and look after him you wouldn’t need to enlist.” “Willows Farm you said?” “Aye.” “That’ll be with two teams of farm horses, a plough, wagon and six dozen sheep?” “Harry you’re never thinking of going?” “I’ll throw in of couple of milkers as well and a cottage on the farm for you two.” There was a hesitation. “I wouldn’t mind one of them new ranges.” “Two ranges and water pumps inside both kitchens.” “Am I going then lass?” “I suppose if you must you must.” “We’ll have Ann and Thomas up now then and see what they say?” “Fair enough.”
The baron pulled the bell cord and a footman entered the room. “Collect Ann and Thomas from the kitchen together with tea, ale and cakes.” He commanded. “Let me break the news?” Asked Ann’s dad. The baron nodded.
“Thomas his lordship has noticed your attentions to my daughter and I’m to ask you if they are honourable?” Thomas blinked. The baron rephrased the question. “The curate was complaining that he hasn’t seen any additional fees lately so I thought you might like to get wed and I’ll stand the nonsense.” Ann dug Thomas in the ribs as he remained silent. “Are we getting wed in three weeks time?” “We could do but where would we live?” “Is Willows Farm of interest?” “I’m not sure we can afford it.” “Go and talk about it with your mother downstairs. I need your father for a while oh and ask one of the servants to bring my grandson to me.”
The baron and Harry supped a glass of ale whilst they waited. “Now then lad I hear you want to buy a commission?” “I can do it on my own out of my allowance.” “Harry tell him how much a captaincy costs.” “Well in a good cavalry regiment like the Life Guards £3,500 but you’ll need a premium on top of that so double it. Then you get the cost of a string of horses and the uniform so add in another couple of thousand.” “Your allowance from the estate is £50 a quarter. You’ll be saving up for a long time my lad.” “It wouldn’t cost that much as an ensign.” “True but a Captain’s rank is what a gentleman should be aiming for.” “There are field promotions.” “True enough after five years experience you might get to be a lieutenant.” “I could join in the ranks and become a gentleman ranker.” “Harry tell him what life is like in the ranks.” “Life as a serjeant is just about tolerable for anything less just take my word on it you won’t like it. In fact if you have any sense at all and listen to my advice you’ll give up the idea right now.”
“I’m going like it or not.” “Right then you’ll take Harry with you and he’ll sort out a commission for you in London.” “You mean you’ll pay?” “I’ll not have my heir going in the ranks. Nor in a regiment where he can’t afford a promotion. You’ll be a commissioned officer or nothing. Harry’s daughter is getting married after the banns have been read. You’ll set off after the wedding. Harry you have a wedding to plan.”
Henry was relieved he’d been expecting much stronger opposition and to be honest having Harry with him to give him a hint or two might even be useful.
Ann sat down with Molly “I wonder why?” “It’s just bribery to get dad to look after him. “Expensive bribery and you were in the middle of all this.” “True but you had Thomas and you are the eldest so it’s right you should be wed.” “I never thought to have a farm though.” “You’ll manage, best hope Henry comes back alive or you’ll just have to pay rent for the farm.” “I’ll pray for them both each night they’re away and since I suspect we only got it because you twirled the baron round your little finger you have a home with us whenever you want it.” “You never know he might even find me a home of my own.”
Harry gave away his eldest daughter and saw both her and her mother established in the farmhouse. He had an idea that his youngest daughter Molly had something to do with it all but didn’t like to ask too many questions. It had been generous for the baron to arrange an ox roast and to supply three barrels of ale for his guests. Henry had overindulged so it was two days later that they set off for London. Catching the mail rather than Henry drive his curricle which had been his first idea until Harry asked him where he was going to store it in London.
They stayed in a hotel in London and Harry left Henry to explore the city’s shopping streets whilst he went to procure the wanted commission. Henry was amazed at the choice available in the stores. He began to see why people came to London, it was almost as if you could buy anything in the world there and as to the people, well there were so many of them. He wouldn’t mind one or two of the horses he saw either although not the worn out ones being used to pull the drays.
Meanwhile Harry talked to a few old soldiers on who was recruiting. The choice seemed to be between the 43rd and the 60th. He’d fancied the 95th but they weren’t recruiting officers. Both were light infantry at least that way the heir won’t be leading his men into battle. The 60th wore green jackets the 43rd red which stood out more, the 60th it would be then. He paid the £450 asked for an ensign commission and was given a list of uniform and equipment Henry should buy before presenting himself to the regiment in Spain together with his orders.
Henry was aghast. “I accept we can’t afford a commission in a cavalry regiment but the 60th is light infantry not proper infantry at all, not only that but it has foreigners, Americans even. The fellows will laugh at me in a green jacket. If it had to be light infantry at least it should have been the red coats so 43rd or the 52nd.” “What’s done is done my lad. Now let’s get you kitted out.”
Henry threw a bit of bread over the side and watched it slowly drift backwards. He was sure he could walk faster than the ship was sailing forward. Harry pulled out a pack of cards to help pass the time. “Now then lad you need to practise your card play since you’ll be playing for money. So we’ll play for a farthing a point?” Henry beamed this was more like it. He’d soon have Harry’s money in his pocket except it didn’t quite work out that way. Harry somehow managed to end up ahead each day. Eventually three weeks later Henry was broke and Harry was rich.
They landed in Lisbon and were berthed between two American grain carrying ships. Everyone was talking about the light infantry defeat at Ferrol. “Henry old boy we’re off to play cards. Charlie knows where the play is deep and we’re going to fleece them.” Henry regretfully declined and Charlie and the other ensigns dashed off to relieve the natives of their money.
Next morning Charlie was moaning about his head. “They got them drunk then fleeced them didn’t they?” Henry asked Harry. “Probably.” “Oh good at least they didn’t get mine.” “No lad I’ve got it safe and it’ll buy us a pair of horses for the next bit.” They continued into Spain to catch up with their regiment. Henry looked at all the wounded men trickling back from the battle field. “There must be thousands of them.” “That’s war for you. Many will be crippled for the rest of their lives.” Henry thought to himself it wouldn’t happen to him, he was invincible. When they reached Badajoz the city they found the city was in ruins and Henry had seen so many badly injured men he was less sure of his invincibility.
Harry looked over the devastation. He saw someone scrabbling in the ruins to salvage what he could. Harry dismounted to give the fellow a hand. It would seem the man was a cobbler and was seeking to recover the tools of his trade.
Henry dismounted and looked round being careful to keep the reins of the horses in hand. He had an idea that horses were very valuable and without anyone to enforce the laws of ownership these two might well be spirited away. He’d imagined himself leading a band of soldiers into battle in a glorious charge but looking around after the battle that had been fought here it didn’t seem quite so glorious. Much of the city was in ruins. They’d passed by many injured soldiers and civilians. He’d never thought about men being injured, in his mind it was a glorious victory or a quick death.
In the way of soldiers everywhere Harry communicated with gestures, sign language and speaking English very slowly. Well the man was a cobbler and looking he had lasts for both right and left feet. Infantry depends on its footwear so Harry hired him to accompany them. There were some gestures about his wife so Harry agreed she could come along too. Someone to wash and cook would be nice. The cobbler looked at Henry and the horses. He drew a wagon in the dirt. Harry looked questioningly and the cobbler led him to a wagon hidden away in a shed. Harry pulled out his purse to pay but the cobbler shook his head and made a gesture of someone having his throat cut. The owner had been killed in the battle. Fair enough, Harry called Henry to lead the horses over and soon they were harnessed up to the wagon and the wagon loaded up with the tools of the cobbler’s trade and a stack of leathers. Harry pointed to his socks and then drew out his purse. They left Henry with a loaded pistol guarding the wagon whilst the cobbler guided Harry to a shop that sold wool. Harry brought a dozen yarns of wool and they caught up with Henry. Then they set off in the direction the cobbler pointed. Harry had a loaded rifle across his lap and Henry had the reins hoping that no one he knew would see him driving such a shabby vehicle.
Eventually they arrived at a farm and the cobbler stepped down. His wife opened the door. Harry wondered what the problem is as the couple had a loud discussion with shrugs from both sides eventually his wife came and inspected Harry and Henry closely before nodding and calling out. Two teenage girls slipped out of the front door and joined their mother. Henry brightened up immediately but Harry could see problems ahead in an army camp with the two girls. “We can cook and knit.” Came the hesitant English from Consuelo. Harry shrugged somehow they’d get by.
Henry fell sick that night retching up time and again. Consuelo fed him some herbs which made him throw up even more. Harry wasn’t happy about it but Consuelo explained it was for the best and they had to make him drink but only boiled water. Fidelia and her mother made a broth which was about all Henry could manage to eat. Henry slowly recovered. Consuelo took special care of him making sure he only drank boiled water and well cooked food.
Ten days later by the time they had arrived at the camp site the three women had knitted a dozen pairs of socks and were close to finishing three more pairs. Mother started the socks and did the heels but the two girls quickly did the rest.
They reported to the Colonel, Henry in front and Harry behind him. “Welcome to the 60th or what is left of us. We suffered 40% casualties in the battle. What we needed were more engineers, we took the walls but by God bayonets were not ideal against stone walls. Still if you’re lucky you might last a week or two and it will be a quick death. The main thing at the moment is helping the troops recover from the siege. Then we’ll move out. So one ensign and an enlisted man is it?” “Sorry sir, one ensign and a personal servant.” “But you’ve served before?” “Rank of serjeant with the 56th Sir.” “Right then since we had a few loses recently so I’ll give you a platoon to command and review the situation in a month’s time. Serjeant retired I’m depending on you to make sure he gets it right. I assume you can afford the promotion?” Harry confirmed Henry could. Both saluted and withdrew. Outside a corporal directed them to their platoon.
This was more like it, forty men at his command. They presented Henry’s credentials to the serjeant in charge who looked at them in dismay. “Line up for inspection!” He yelled the command. The men slowly gathered themselves up and formed two ranks. Henry looked to Harry “Now we inspect them. It’s more so they will recognise you and you get an idea of their equipment.” Henry walked down the line followed by Harry who gave them a more complete scrutiny. Henry looked to the serjeant. “There are only twenty five men here?” “We lost a number at Badajoz, including our officers.” “What the platoon commander meant was he’d like the second man on the rear rank to the left to fall out. The rest are dismissed.” Interpreted Harry. The soldier stepped forward and was directed to the rear of the wagon. “Take your footwear off.” The cobbler looked the shoes over. “You can do better?” Asked Harry. The cobbler nodded and went to measure up the soldiers feet. Harry stopped him and had the soldier put new socks on first. Then the cobbler took measurements. The cobbler signed to ask if he wanted ankle support or not. The soldier returned to his mates and Harry wondered what to do with the two girls eventually he realised the only safe place was going to be Henry’s tent.
Henry was looking forward to sharing his tent until Harry made him aware that if anything happened to the girls then they were stuck doing their own cooking, knitting their own socks and no new boots or shoes. Then he wasn’t quite so keen. Consuelo and Fidelia were hesitant at first but then realised having their own tent amongst so many soldiers would be unsafe. Besides Henry was a gentleman, and that meant soft hands and a soft voice as well.
Henry was given the job of riding over to army headquarters with dispatches and once there asked after his friends. Four had died in the assault, two were sent home injured, one had lost his right arm, the other his left leg. “He was fortunate it was below the knee.” Well that was one way of putting it.
Two days later the first pair of boots were made. Softer leather than the old pair and a proper left one and a proper right one not like his old ones that were made on a single last. The old ones were supposed to be worn on alternate feet so the wear was more even. Harry, Henry and the NCOs of the platoon sat down together to go over Henry’s duties. As far as Henry could see his job was not to get in the way but to make sure his men were well looked after. The women went out foraging and bargaining and the Colonel turned a blind eye as the quality and quantity of fresh food improved.
“Henry old chap I’ve brought you a couple of troopers. Two are a bit taller and one a bit shorter than the others don’t you know. It don’t look good on parade with uneven heights. They’re a bit independent as well. Our serjeant thought that John especially doesn’t show the respect he ought to for his betters so it was either give him twenty lashes or unload him on you lot. He got caught poaching and given the choice of the gallows or us.” Harry eyed John up and down then motioned him and the others to follow him to the platoon’s senior NCO.
“You’ve got it soft haven’t you? Made lieutenant already and two maids to wait on you and keep you warm in your tent at night as well. Talk of the camp it is.” Henry blushed and turned the subject to the other school chums. “Norman and Percy are all that’s left besides myself. I was lucky and got attached to headquarters running messages around but the rest of them. What do you think happens to an officer who leads his men into battle? I never thought about it but every French rifleman out there wants to kill or injure an English officer and you’re right out in front in a red coat. Madness I call it. At least your lot go sneaking out without you. It’s Miles I feel sorry for. Lost his right arm I mean to say how can you play billiards with no right arm? How did you get on in Lisbon by the way? The card sharks were waiting for us. We all lost everything we had.”
“One trouble making poacher.” “He’s fit and healthy if he makes too much trouble we can always send him on reconnaissance.” John grinned. “I hear the grub’s good an all.” “Do we want him and the others?” “They’ll do.”
Harry returned and murmured to Henry, John and the others were acceptable.
As news of the improved food, shoes and socks got out there was a trickle of volunteers from the other regiments who needed to be trained in light infantry tactics. Henry followed the same training as his men. There were both German and Swiss officers in the regiment who helped with the training and Henry began to appreciate that being an officer involved far more than just leading his troops into battle.
At the baron’s bidding Molly sat down and wrote her father a letter containing the news and gossip from the estate and village. When the letter eventually arrived Harry had a good chuckle over what Molly had been up to. Consuelo peered over his shoulder. “May I read it to practise my English?” “You can read English?” “I used to work as a nursery maid to a rich merchant who employed an English nanny. She taught me to read and write along with the older children and I helped the younger ones.” “Let’s hear you read then.” Consuelo read the letter out loud. Harry noticed a number of the soldiers drift across to overhear her. She looked up at the end of a paragraph to see Hans standing to one side of her. “Harry may I read your letter to the troops?” “If they’re interested.” “I think they might be most are from villages and hearing about the crops being sown will remind them of home. Will you reply to your daughter?” “I hadn’t thought about it.” “Well you should. Your family at least will want to hear of your adventures.” Consuelo read the letter out to those who were interested in hearing it. It seemed many men of other platoons wanted to hear it read as well. “Ee lass it makes me think of home. It must be right nice to be able to read and write letters.”
“Harry if I wrote the letters for the men could you see they get to England?” “Aye lass I can find someone to frank them.” “Could you make a description of Spain for me? I can write but your words are better since I make mistakes with to, for, with and such things.”
“Now Jack you’re writing to your wife. I think you should tell her how you feel being so far away.” “Feel Miss. Oh I couldn’t do that. I can’t even tell her to her face how much she means to me.” “Give me some words Jack or I’ll write my own.” “You wouldn’t Miss would you?” “I would.” “You’ll not tell anyone or let anyone else read it?” “I’ll take the words to the grave.” “Well then I miss her summat bad, more than I can say. It’s been two years now since I’ve seen her last. She’s a grand lass and made me right proud to see her walk up the aisle to wed me.” Consuelo started writing down his words. She had an idea it might well have been the first time he’d expressed them as he was gently weeping as he said them.
After reading out a general paragraph Harry had composed about how hot it was and what it was like in the army she added it to fill the page up. Harry took the letters and bundled them up together. They’d be sent back to the baron and he’d frank them to the recipients before forwarding them on to be eventually read in a few month’s time.
Consuelo arranged a screen round the front and back of the sunshade she’d put up between two tents. She looked at Henry as he came back obviously suffering from the heat. “Lie down in the shade and have a siesta.” She requested. She picked up a cloth and dipped it in a pail of cool water and mopped his brow. “Better?” Henry nodded sleepily. She undid his shirt buttons and ran her cool fingers over his chest. Fidelia arrived wordlessly and dipped her hands in the water to cool them down. She looked enquiringly at her sister before caressing Henry’s tummy gently. Consuelo teased Henry’s shirt off. Fidelia his heavy trousers. Both girls mopped his body with damp cloths and ran their cool fingers over his body. Henry lifted up his hand and laid it on Consuelo’s thigh only to be remonstrated by Consuelo “Henry you know you are not allowed to touch.” As she lifted his hand away. Fidelia washed his feet caressing each toe gently before moving up his lower limbs. Soon she was running her cool fingers over his testicles. “They grow warm in the hot weather don’t they?” Murmured Consuelo as she ran her cool fingers over them as well. Daringly Fidelia touched his penis and giggled as it swelled under her touch. Consuelo looked reproachfully at her but Fidelia just stroked it again as it grew firmer.
Henry was looking quite pink faced by this time and her sister was looking flushed as well. Consuelo worked her way back up Henry’s body until she was caressing his neck and shoulders. There was a squeak from Fidelia as Henry spurted forth. Consuelo just wiped up the spunk with her damp cloth and kissed Henry’s erection on the side as she lent over him. Not to be out done Fidelia kissed him on the other side. Henry really couldn’t believe his eyes two heads over his crotch. Consuelo ran her finger up Fidelia’s skirt and placed the glistening finger in Henry’s mouth on his tongue. “She tastes good?” Henry nodded. “Good then you shall have another taste.” She spoke in Spanish to Fidelia and had her lie down with her skirts round her waist. “Now you lie between her thighs and taste.” Henry did as he was bid. He enjoyed the sensations that he could feel Fidelia was going through.
Fidelia opened her eyes wide and gripped Henry’s head firmly in her hands. Consuelo covered her mouth with her hand to prevent any more squeals from being heard.
“I think you should teach Fidelia English in the evening rather than playing cards.” “But I like to play cards.” “Well the three of us will play together then and you can teach Fidelia English at the same time.”
Consuelo handed their winnings to papa for safe keeping. “You haven’t been making money on your back?” “No papa these are our winnings from playing cards.” “Gambling can be very bad.” “Papa it is not gambling. We are playing with Henry there isn’t the slightest chance that Henry might win.”
Consuelo was reading out another letter to the men. Hans was a tall soldier who was shy but never seemed far away when she was reading letters out loud. “Could you write me a letter to my sweetheart?” Consuelo looked affronted. “You mean I’m not the only love of your life?” The soldier stammered a reply but Consuelo shrugged “No matter I still have Hans.” She moved across and kissed him on the cheek as he blushed and moved slightly away only to find Fidelia kissing him on his other cheek and making cow’s eyes at him which had him blushing even more.
Agatha strolled down to the cottage. “Alice I didn’t know your Jack could write?” “He can’t and I neither.” “Well here’s a letter for you and I think it is from him.” “Could you read it for me?” Agatha started “It starts ‘My name is Consuelo, Jack is well and I have sworn not to reveal the contents of this letter.’ I suppose she must have written it for him but what an odd thing to say?” “If he’s been wiv some Spanish camp follower I’ll Spanish him when he gets back.” Agatha at laughed as she read the next bit to herself. “I think I understand why she says that now.” She read the letter out loud. “The old fool, I wonder how she managed to get him to say them words but they’re what he’d say. Can you trace them out for me with your finger?” “I think you’ll treasure this letter.” “Won’t I just.” “It seems to be a bit about what its like in Spain I think written by someone else on the end since I know your Jack never was much for words.” “Well read it out then.” She listened without comment. “I could read it out in church omitting the private bits. All the village will be wanting to hear his news.” “Aye and better them that can read don’t read it all which they’ll be asking for to see it if you don’t.” “Would you like me to write a reply to Jack for you?” “Could you?” “I think the manor house can spare a sheet of paper and a spot of ink.”
Harry observed Fidelia flirting with Henry and had an idle thought. “Consuelo come for a walk?” Consuelo looked up at him then walked towards him deliberately wiggling her hips. She laid her hand on his arm and together they walked a little way off where they could be seen but not overheard. “Talk to me about Fidelia.” He requested Consuelo paused and thought before she spoke. “Henry?” “Henry.” “Are you mad? She has no dowry for a start.” “But she speaks English well.” “Of course Henry has been teaching her and his English is good.” “Can she read and write?” “In Spanish yes, she keeps the books for papa. She’s well organised and makes sure he has the right leather in stock.” She looked at him “It might even work she is quick to pick things up.” “But why?” She looked at him closely. “You aren’t paid by Henry are you. His papa perhaps or grandfather and your job is to keep him alive.” Harry acknowledged the fact. “And if he was married he’d take less risks? If he had a son the colonel might even encourage him to take him home but his family would be expecting him to marry an English lady. Would they suit? I think she’s brighter than Henry.” “An intelligent wife would be good for the estate.” “We must talk to papa.”
They met with Consuelo’s parents and Harry explained that Henry was the heir and had no brothers. The estate would revert to the crown if he died. “So the family want him back alive?” “More than anything else. So I suspect Fidelia would be acceptable.” There was much heated discussion in Spanish. Consuelo’s mother only contribution was “el nieto.” and later “Fidelia.” Fidelia was summoned and the idea was put to her. “This England is cold and wet in winter is it not?” “True but there are no armies roaming the countryside.” “Would Consuelo, Papa and Mama come to?” There was more discussion in Spanish. “Would the family look down on Papa?” “Henry will become a minor Baron in time. Some of the ton in London might look down on you and your parents but if you bring back a son all will be forgiven by the family and yes I have funds to get you all to England.” “Has he asked?” Interjected Consuelo. Fidelia shrugged “Give me time and he will ask.” “It would be better if he asked rather than be compromised into the wedding.” Remarked Harry. Fidelia was indigent “I am a good Spanish girl and such things are beneath me.”
It was three months later before Henry whispered something that could possibly be construed as a proposal. “Are you asking me to be your wife?” Asked Fidelia innocently as she kissed him for the first time. Henry paused and thought why not he’d show his independence rather than be subjected to those females his mother thought a suitable match for himself. “I suppose I am. Will you marry me?” “Of course.” Harry made sure that they were wed both in the Spanish tradition and later the same day by the army chaplain.
That afternoon Harry looked up to see a serjeant accompanied by two privates, all three were large men. “Colonel’s compliments sir and he invites you to attend him if convenient.” “Harry looked them over “And if it’s not convenient?” “I’m sure it will be sir and I do have my orders to collect you.” Harry grinned at the serjeant “We’d best see what he wants then hadn’t we?” “That would save trouble sir.”
“Serjeant retired Harry, I have a problem and I thought you might be able to help me out.” “I’m quite certain I’ll be unable to.” “As you may know Major Linfield has just died of fever which means I’ll be wanting to promote Captain Montagu to Major Montagu but that of course leaves me with a problem whom do I promote to be Captain. Henry’s platoon is running very smoothly and do excellent work and I’m loath to put a new recruit in as lieutenant and upset the platoon otherwise Henry would be my first choice. I assume he can afford the promotion?” “Yes sir he can afford the promotion.” “Excellent now here I have the papers drawn up appointing yourself a field promotion to lieutenant. As you can see I’ve backdated them so in a little over a year’s time you’ll qualify for the half pay list.” “You mean if I accept then Henry gets his captaincy?” “He might get it if you don’t but is certain to do so if you accept and he would be safer as a captain plus it might make his recent marriage more acceptable to his family.” “You know you’re a bastard don’t you?” “Of course Lieutenant Pike. Welcome back to the army and send Henry in to see me tomorrow morning and I’ll break the news to him.”
Lieutenant Pike walked back to the platoon and spoke to the serjeant who saluted as soon as he saw he coming. “On parade at the double!” He yelled and the platoon assembled. “Right you horrible little lot I’m your new Lieutenant and if you thought the old one was bad then just remember I’m your worse nightmare and I know all the tricks so don’t think you can pull the wool over my eyes. Do I make myself clear?” “Yes Sir!” The platoon answered as one. “Platoon dismissed and if I catch any of you sober this evening when you should be celebrating the wedding you’ll be up on a charge of not being drunk and disorderly. Have I made myself clear?” “Yes Sir!” This time there was a feeling of awe from the men. “Serjeant dismiss them.” “Yes Sir!” “Right you lot you heard the Lieutenant dismiss and no duties for the rest of the day.”
Consuelo entered Harry’s tent. “I can no longer sleep with my sister but I have brought Sofía to chaperon me. We sleep in your tent.” “Sofía?” “Her parent’s farm was destroyed by the fighting and she has nowhere else to go.” He nodded his agreement.
Consuelo stood in front of her father holding Hans hand. “Papa you could teach Hans to be a cobbler?” “We can try.” Hans found himself learning the trade in his spare time although he wasn’t quite certain why Consuelo wanted him to learn such a trade. It would take far longer than just his spare time but if Consuelo was happy and happy to spend time with him as he learnt he was happy as well. Besides he needed her to translate her father’s instructions.
Molly read out the letter from Lieutenant Pike. “Henry has been promoted to captain and just married Fidelia a local Spanish girl.” “Bah untitled with no dowry I’ll be bound.” “Well yes but a married captain is less likely to be killed in battle and from what I hear his regiment is not one where the officers lead from the front.” “True enough. I trust it’s a proper wedding.” “Twice over including the army chaplain.” “How’s your father?” “He’s joined the army!” “What he never has.” “See here he’s now Lieutenant Pike and has taken over your grandson’s old platoon.” “I hate to think what your mother will say.” “I can’t picture her being an officer’s wife. Think he’ll be in the army permanently?” “Not quite if he’s an officer he can transfer to the half pay list once he has the service in.”
Charles Reginald was born twelve months later. Harry saw to it that the Colonel’s wife witnessed the birth and both the Spanish authorities and the chaplain recorded it and produced the appropriate birth certificate.
Harry wrote a letter home containing the news that Henry now had a son. Fidelia thought Henry should write a letter to his parents but Henry thought he’d just tell them when he got back.
Charles Reginald was six months old before the Colonel’s wife thought he could stand the rigours of travelling back to England and that he ought to travel back before the winter storms.
“Ah Lieutenant Pike the very man I wanted to see. Now as the campaign is coming to a close I feel it is time that Captain Lord Maltravers returned to England. I have dispatches for him to carry back and he can go on to the half pay list in London after delivering the dispatches. He leaves in the morning or as soon as Fidelia is ready. You’ll be sent back with dispatches in two weeks time and you’ll take your batman with you.” “Batman sir?” “Hans I believe his name is my wife mentioned it to me last night when we were discussing matters. Just tell him he’s now your batman next time you see him.”
Harry left the Colonel’s tent a bit confused but Consuelo was pleased to hear he had a new batman. “Hans will make you a very good batman. I’ll tell him the good news.” “But will he want to return with me to England?” “He’d better after all the effort the Colonel’s wife and I put in to see how we could get him there on the cheap.”
“Hans I understand you are my new batman.” Hans thought for a moment “Consuelo Sir?” “I suspect so and you’ll be travelling to England with me where you will be discharged.” Hans blinked. “Yes Sir.” Consuelo came up behind Harry. “I’m going to England?” He asked Consuelo. “Oh good, and you can travel to the estate with Harry.” “I can?” Harry left them to it and walked over to his serjeant to explain that Hans was now his batman, Colonel’s orders.
Henry’s journey back was slow as his in-laws accompanied him. Consuelo travelled with them to help look after baby Charles. At the port Consuelo managed to sell the wagon and horse. Then they waited for a place on board a ship. Harry’s journey was much faster. He knew the roads were not in a good condition and so he decided to ride with two horses each but as he was about to pull away he noticed Sofía standing there looking forlorn. He motioned her to come along and she leapt up smiling. Quickly she mounted one of the spare horses with a small bag in her hand. He never did understand much Spanish but somehow with Sofía along the journey was much more comfortable and somehow she managed to obtain the best horses in any stable by flirting outrageously with the grooms. They raced to the port and when they arrived it was Sofía who spotted Consuelo and the others and so they travelled back to England together.
In London the ship unloaded its passengers and Harry found them an inn to stay at whilst Henry and himself delivered their dispatches and transferred to the half pay list. Then Harry looked over his party and decided with eight of them he might as well buy a coach and team so that they could travel at their own pace and in some comfort. Henry popped into to see his family bankers then let Harry and Hans go shopping for a suitable coach. Horses would be hired on the way home.
“Captain Lord Maltravers and Lieutenant Pike.” Announced Benkins.
Harry looked over his family with pride. They done well for themselves. Ann and Thomas had done well with the farm. Molly had been promoted to head house-maid which promised promotion again to housekeeper. She hadn’t been given a cottage which she’d been hoping for but a few shares in the canal which she thought were as good if not better. Now if only she’d cast an eye over young Luke. Second son of a farmer but with her bit of money and Larkspur farm coming up shortly for rent next to Willows Farm the family could run the two together nicely.
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Joys of Being a Father, The - Karen Blayne