Unknown
Is there a Lady in the House? by Karen Blayne
Oh by the way red tape first.
Be warned these short stories contain mature content or naughty bits and as such may corrupt you if you’re under 12, 16, 18, 21 or 25 depending where you live thus they are not suitable for you so put them back on the shelf and let them age for a year or two.
They were sort of scribbled for fun. ©2019
Luv Karen
Neil glanced round the hall to the estate and wondered about the family that had lived there for so many years. His father had been a sailor, his grandfather before him. They’d been lucky and lived long lives but he knew plenty who had died at sea. He’d been lucky as well. His grandfather had paid for both his and his father’s schooling and his father’s skill with sums and trading had paid off handsomely. So now at the age of thirty he’d brought up an estate that had been sold to cover a gambling debt.
He’d always thought that estates brought in lots of money hence the landed class but this one had been neglected which had been more than reflected in the price. The staff seemed nervous apart from Anna who had been a little too welcoming for his taste with far too many lingering looks. Now Harriet was a little more reserved and more to his taste. He entered the drawing room and drew up a chair next to the fire and looked into the flames. “Your coffee Sir.” He looked up to find Harriet with a tray and a mug of coffee. “I didn’t ask for one did I?” “No but you were about to.” He smiled “Mind reader are you?” “It’s not difficult to read yours sometimes.” “Tell me what I’m thinking of at the moment then.” “Dismissing most of the indoor staff perhaps.” He gave a start “Am I that obvious?”
“It won’t do you know.” “Well do I really need so many indoor staff?” “No but you can afford them and there is no other work for them. One or two will drift off, after all working for a title gives you a certain amount of status.” “You don’t think I should try to keep them?” “Not really you’re probably better off without them. By the way are you going to pay some wages this week?” “I assume the customary pay day is Friday?” “No one has been paid in the last two quarters.” “I’ll only pay them for one week. They’ll need to talk to the old owners for the rest. What do you advise about the outdoor folk?” “Who me sir, would I dare to advise you?” “Yes you would.” “Talk to Sutton’s daughter. They’ve been farming here for years and their yields are much better than the rest and she does their books.”
He picked up his coffee and looked into the flames once more and Harriet slipped away. That afternoon he walked up to Sutton’s farm and spoke to their daughter. “The choice is either farm it yourself or have tenants farm it for you. Good tenants work out well but poor tenants mean less money coming in from rents in the longer term.” “So would your dad care to enlarge his tenancy?” “I think he’s happy with what he has at the moment. I could do the books for the estate if you like? It wouldn’t be too much extra effort and get dad to give you a few pointers.” They settled on twelve pounds a quarter for a wage. Her father returned from the fields and listened whilst his daughter told him what she’d agreed. “The most important thing at the moment is getting some cash in their hands. You’ve hedges that need laying, drainage ditches that need cleaning.” “I’m not so good on that sort of thing.” “Pass Helen some money for wages and she’ll put the word out. For the most part the men know what needs to be done and how to do it so step back and let them get on with it.”
The next morning he entered the library and saw Harriet looking out of the window. He stepped up behind her and slid his arms round her waist. She looked round “Hello.” “Hello.” He brought his right hand up under her breast. You gave me good advice yesterday now what would you like out of life in return.” “Anything?” “Within reason.” “I’ve always wanted to be a lady’s maid. To be near elegant dresses.” “I’ll not take a wife just so you can be a lady’s maid.” “Well then I’ll just have to make do with your attentions won’t I?” His hand inched higher and he felt the swell of her breast resting on the top of his finger. She covered his hand with her own. “I like being nuzzled at the same time.” He nuzzled her neck and daringly nibbled her ear. There was a small moan “I like that.” He returned to nibbling her neck.
She turned in his arms and kissed him on the lips pressing her young body up against his feeling flattered by the bulge in his crotch she could feel when she rubbed against him. He came up for air “I wonder what Dobson would say if he came in now.” “You asked me to attend you in the library this morning sir?” Harriet peeped over his shoulder. “So now you know.” “Dobson there are two purses on the table. The first is to pay the staff a week’s wages and the second is a week’s housekeeping for the housekeeper. Harriet suggested a pound a day but tell the housekeeper if the amount needs adjusting to let me know.”
Dobson sent a look towards Harriet before replying “Thank you sir I will attend to the matter.” He turned and left the room. “Any other suggestions?” “Well since you don’t have a valet you could ask Ellen to look after your clothes and keep your room tidy.” “I could ask you?” “But I’m still hoping to be a lady’s maid rather than a parlour maid, thinking of which would you like tea and a slice of cake?” He patted her gently on her behind and she smiled at him as she disappeared down to the kitchen. “And bring a cup for yourself.” He called after her.
Ellen, he wondered which one was Ellen. He rang the bell and Dobson appeared. “If we have a maid called Ellen could you send her to me please.” “Of course sir.”
He was eating his cake and sipping his tea whilst Harriet sat opposite when Ellen arrived. He glanced at her, definitely pretty. “Would you mind looking after my room and clothes?” “He’ll pay you a proper valet’s wage won’t you?” Prompted Harriet. “Just looking after your clothes or do you want waking with a kiss as well?” “If it’s being offered.” “Tuppence a day extra for kisses.” Threw in Harriet. “You’ll bankrupt me.” Ellen looked back and forth between the pair of them. “Just kisses and fondles?” “Just kisses and fondles.” Ellen sat in his lap. “Best try you out then. If they’re sloppy I might not want any even at tuppence a day extra.”
Neil kissed her on the lips and Ellen opened up her mouth to tease him with her tongue. His hand rested on her thigh and moved slowly up during the long lingering kiss. Ellen stroked the back of his neck at the same time. Eventually Harriet moved across and caressed Ellen’s breasts just out of fun which caused Ellen to break the kiss. “So did he pass?” “I’m sure with a bit more practise he’ll get better.” Neil scooped her up and twisted her over his knee. He lifted her skirt and gently gave her a spank. “Oh I like it.” Harriet collapsed with laughter. “I think you two deserve each other.” Neil glowered at her “Haven’t you somewhere else to be?” Harriet skipped out of the library and wandered down to the stables to admire Neil’s team.
Charlie, the head groom, pointed her at the barrel of apples “Go on feed the greedy things.” John came out “My team aren’t greedy but they do like a treat occasionally.” “Have you thought about learning to drive a team?” Harriet looked taken back. Charlie not to be out done “It’ll be useful come harvest time. I’ve got a pair of her ladyship’s driving gauntlets to protect your hands. I need to make a delivery with Tick and Tock so up you get and we’ll be away.” Harriet smiled at John “Sorry looks like I’m starting with the farm wagon first.” Tick and Tock where two huge farm horses. Jed went along to help unload the sacks of corn at the mill. “Now we’ll just take them at a gentle walk. Just tell them Gee Up and we’ll be off.” Hesitantly Harriet said “Gee Up.” And shook the reins. The big wagon moved off slowly. “It’s not very fast.” “No but it’s steady and a lot easier than carrying these sacks on your shoulder.”
Harry was surprised by the summons to hear his great-uncle Colonel Winter’s will. He was even more surprised to find that Colonel Winters was determined that the family name should continue. So much so that he left his fortune to Harry provided he married to a young lady of good family within six months of the will being read. In default if Archibald should be wed at the end of six months then the monies would go to him. If neither were wed then the funds would go to pay off the government debt. The sum involved was large, certainly large enough not to be ignored but the problem would be anyone he asked would know about the money. The matchmakers would be out in force. He’d ask his sister’s advice. “Six months shouldn’t be a problem. I take it none of the current debs take your fancy?” “They all seem a bit brainless and much too calculating.” “A cit’s daughter?” “She has to be of good family so I don’t think that would work.” “Well then brother mine it looks as if we need to visit a few house parties.”
“Have a read through these applications. I thought if we hired the right governess she might serve as your lady to maid too?” Harriet looked through them. “This one sounds too old. I don’t think much of this one’s grammar. Three spelling mistakes in one page, but this one might do?” She held up a neatly written letter. “Take my light travelling coach and go and collect her, that way you can inspect her before making a final decision.” He handed her a purse for tolls and expenses. “You can split the surplus with John coachman.”
Harriet hurried down to the stables and spoke to John. “Well if we take the team that would get us half way there mind you six horses would make sure of it. Then we could change at The Duke’s Arms. A team of four from there yes we could do it in a day if we start at daybreak. I’d take Jed along to stay with the horses at The Duke’s Arms mind. It’s quite a pleasant town for shopping so stop by and see the housekeeper and see what she’d like picking up. I daresay you’d like a look round the shops yourself and then we can pick up the young lady at daybreak for the trip back.”
The kitchen maid who got up to prepare the bread shook Harriet awake and she quickly dressed warmly and scurried to the stables. There she helped bring the six horses they would use for the first part of the journey to the carriage which had been wheeled out into the yard the night before. The kitchen maid hurried out with two baskets of food for the journey. They set off just as the first rays of sun light lit the skies. Jed was on top together with John and as soon as they reached the toll road John let Jed take the reigns for as he said Jed had to learn sometime.
Harriet dozed gently in the travelling coach until mid morning when they paused and Harriet carried some food up to John. “Right lass time you learnt to drive as well. The road is smooth and clear and Jed can ride inside.” Harriet pulled on her leather driving gauntlets that John had brought with him. “Now take it gentle with them, they have soft mouths and know what they’re doing so just let them pick their own way.” After the first mile or so John encouraged Harriet to nudge them a bit faster. Soon they were bowling along the toll road.
As they progressed they caught up with a coach and four. John blew his horn to encourage the coach to pull over but if anything the coach picked up speed and held the crown of the road. Harriet wanted to know if John wanted the reins but John said no they’d hold back just far enough to be a nuisance. A hill approached and the other coach slowed down as the hill grew steeper. A lumbering wagon came over the hill and the coach slowed and moved off the crown to accommodate it. “Now girl take them.” Harriet cracked the whip over the horses’ heads and they moved out and past the other coach before it could regain the crown of the road. “Well done lass.” Harriet waved to the occupants of the crested coach with their team of matched greys as they sailed past. “See that team might look pretty but our horses might be different colours but they work well together.”
“Harry was that a girl driving the coach that sailed past us?” “I believe it was Louisa-Margaretta.” “Oh dear Archibald will be a bad temper, he hates being overtaken especially with his new expensive matched team.” John took over after an hour and then they switched back again. It was Harriet who was driving when they reached The Duke’s Arms. “Slow them to a walk and aim them down the centre through the archway. They’ve done this before. Once in the grooms will guide them.” Harriet was amazed when the carriage followed the horses through the archway into the yard without scraping the wheels. An ancient looked on “Just driven the last few yards have you?” John looked over his shoulder “You ask the crested carriage when it gets here.”
They left their six horses at the inn and Jed walking them to cool them off. They harnessed up a four horse team and were quickly away onto their destination. John drove as they were strange horses.
Thirty minutes later the ancient had taken up a seat on the bench where he could see the traffic. “Girl overtook you did she?” On the bench Archibald swore and lost his concentration as he tried to take his team through the archway at a smart trot. The rear wheel struck the protective bollard. “Looks like she could give you driving lessons young man.” Archibald was red faced by now and ignored the grooms who commented anyone who blew their team like this needed lessons. “I’ll have a fresh team if you please.” “I’m sorry my Lord but we’re out of teams just at the moment. They’ll be fresh ones available in the morning and I really wouldn’t advise going any further with your team seeing as they’re really exhausted and will need a couple of days rest.” “Harry do you think we should insist on a postillion seeing how he’s driven this team to the ground?” “I’ll have those animals over there.” “I’m sorry my Lord but they’re privately owned and with their own groom.”
Harry stretched his legs and spoke to Jed about buying the team that had sailed past Archibald’s. “I’ll ask my master but I don’t think he’s overly attached to them if the price was right.” Harry named a price that Jed knew was four times the price John had paid when buying them for Neil. “I’ll send word after I speak to him but I think that would be an acceptable price.”
“Harry have you been up to mischief?” “Me? No not at all, just brought myself a team of horses.” “But you don’t know anything about buying horses. Archibald is the one who prides himself on his knowledge of horses and being able to drive to an inch. Oh Harry you haven’t?” “Put an offer in on them. Now if I can only find the girl to act as my coachman.” “No Harry that’s too much, on a fine dry day yes it’s not too bad but at night or when its raining girls don’t make good coachmen.” “I’ll have the team anyway.” Louisa-Margaretta thought perhaps a light travelling coach of the same design would be rather pleasant especially being able to see forward through the glass window in the front. She’d suggest it to her brother.
They stayed at a small inn two miles from the town and drove in the final distance the next morning. Harriet spoke to Miss Theodosia Hodge and found she was exactly what Harriet had been looking for. They arranged to collect her the following morning at daybreak then set off to marvel at the town with its much wider range of shops and goods than the village. “I’ve heard tell Miss that London Town is even bigger than this.” “It couldn’t be surely and John you may call me Harriet.” “As you say Miss Harriet.” She dug him in the ribs. “Harriet it is.” They stocked up on goods that were on the list but as Harriet soon discovered the small travelling coach with its single forward facing bench seat didn’t have a lot of room for storage and Miss Hodge would undoubtedly want to bring a trunk. Still she did manage to buy four dress lengths that if they didn’t suit Miss Hodge would undoubtedly suit her. That evening John escorted her to watch some players perform in the inn courtyard. Harriet was entranced by the play. “Now surely they can’t have anything as good as that in London?” “I’ve heard say there are as many as half a dozen different plays a night you can choose from.” “Surely there wouldn’t be enough people to watch them all to make it worthwhile?”
Next morning they collected Miss Hodge in the carriage. Harriet sat besides her and they both admired the view through the front window. “It’s very different being in a private carriage to travelling on the stage. It seems to soak up the bumps more.” John pulled out and overtook a stage coach. “It’s faster as well.” As they left the town behind John brought the carriage to a halt. “Harriet?” Harriet joined him on the bench and Miss Hodge watched in amazement as Harriet took the reins. By the time they had reached The Duke’s Arms Miss Hodge was feeling quite exhausted. “We can stop here overnight or press on. We have our own cattle here so the last part will be much quicker. If it helps in the decision making we can split the cost of staying overnight between ourselves.” Miss Hodge had learnt the hard way that every penny that could be saved for a rainy day must be saved. “My vote is we press on.”
Jed led out the six horse team and the carriage was soon on its way with Jed alongside John on the box and Harriet and Miss Hodge inside. “One of them fancy toffs took a fancy to our team and offered me four times what you paid for them. He gave me his card.” “I’m used to them now but I could pick out a team of four as good for half that sum. I’ll have Harriet write to him and suggest it. A team of six is a bit expensive and more difficult to handle. He probably doesn’t realise that the weight of the coach makes a difference as well so he’ll need the coach builder's name and address. Harriet can mention it all in a letter.”
John swept pass a mail coach and inside the coach Miss Hodge wondered how fast the human body could travel without ill effects. She liked being able to see out of the front. Looking out of the side window when travelling by stage coach often left her feeling queasy.
It was growing dark by the time they reached the manor house and Harriet swept Miss Theodosia Hodge upstairs and into a large comfortable bedroom pointing out the water closet that was just down the hall. “I’ll have a bath set up in a few moments and something hot on a tray afterwards if that would suit?” “It sounds heavenly.” Harriet first reported to Neil before collapsing in her own bed. Travelling might be fun, the play definitely was and the dress lengths were better than she could get locally but it was tiring.
John, Jed and Neil had a talk about horses and carriages. “Well you’ve picked out teams before so I suggest Jed takes a letter offering this Mr. Winters four of the team for half the price he mentioned and take the carriage with you with the full six horse team. If he’s not interested in the carriage at cost plus twenty percent then bring it back with two horses and we divide the spoils up between us.” Jed looked staggered his share would be more money than he’d expect to earn in ten years. “Best get going lad before he changes his mind.” “You’ll come with me?” “Right enough.” “And John, if he needs a coachman could Jed do the job?” “Well he’s a bit wet behind the ears but I suppose he knows his way round the stables right enough.” They left two days later to give the horses a rest first.
The next morning Theodosia early and dressed herself before exploring her bedroom, it looked very grand for a governess and she wondered if she’d been placed in the wrong room by mistake last night. There was a door in the side wall which she opened and peered inside into another bedroom. “Good morning Miss Hodge, I’m Ellen. If you want to see Neil he’s just gone downstairs to the breakfast room. I’ll show you the way shall I?”
Dobson was in the hall waiting to show the way to the small dining room where Neil and Harriet were eating breakfast. Theodosia was amazed to see Harriet eating away from the servant’s hall. “Now if you’d tell me what you’d like I’ll have it brought up from the kitchen. Bacon and egg with toast to follow?” Theodosia nodded her agreement and turned to her host. “The children are in the nursery?” “They haven’t arrived yet.” “Is your wife available?” Harriet had slight cough. “I’m not married.” “I take it your wife has passed on? Or are the children relatives?” “There will be no children until he marries and he hasn’t decided on a prospective bride yet.” “I’m ruined, staying overnight in a bachelor establishment. Not only that but given a bedroom that connects to the master bedroom.” “I don’t see why.” “A governess must have an exemplary background and servants gossip.” “Well don’t get your hopes up about me marrying you to save your reputation.” “Just why have I been hired?” “Harriet has ambitions to be a lady’s maid so I needed a lady.” “I’ve been lured here under false pretences!” “But from a practical point of view the post pays far more than a governess’s post although you’d be expected to earn your keep by helping to keep the horses exercised and additionally Harriet picked up four dress lengths the day before yesterday so our sewing maids are looking forward to making them up.” “Would I dine with the family?” “You mean me? If you like but often I have staff join me to discuss various aspects of the work to be done. Actually I dare say you could make yourself useful by teaching one or two to read and write.”
“Let me show you the stables after breakfast.” Theodosia acquiesced and set to her breakfast. It made a nice change from porridge with the children. The toast was hot and the jam was a treat. The tea was just about drinkable. There was room for some improvement there.
She followed Harriet out to the stables and met Charlie. “Miss Hodge is to help with exercising the horses Charlie.” “Have you ridden before?” “Many years ago I had my own mare.” “Neil knows?” “Neil knows.” “Right then we’ll take the gig.” Mystified Theodosia mounted the gig and Harriet squeezed on as well. Charlie handed over Harriet’s gauntlets to Theodosia followed by the reins. “Let’s see what you can do.” Theodosia tentatively walked the horse first then brought it up to a trot. “It’s coming back to me.” She sounded pleased with herself. They neatly passed an oncoming farm wagon without slowing or ending up in the ditch. “Not bad.” Came the comment from Charlie, “You’ll do to drive a farm wagon at harvest time.” Theodosia grinned enjoying herself “I always was better than my brother at gauging distances in a gig.” They arrived at a farm. “Tom bring out that old mare you are trying to get rid of.” “I don’t know why I should bother you haven’t the money to buy it.” He turned and spoke to Theodosia and Harriet “Just you two go up to the house and the wife has been baking. I’ll bring out what I have although with Charlie here I’m sure they won’t meet his standards.” The pair of them walked up to the house. “Hello Harriet is this your new lady then?” Theodosia knew news travelled fast in the country but hadn’t expected it to travel so fast. “Betty meet Miss Hodge who has come to join our household.” “And no doubt would like a pretty mare to ride. Well you should have a choice of two. Both sweet tempered for I raised them myself. Do you think we should let them bargain it out or will you and I settle the matter Harriet?” She named a price that Harriet thought reasonable and could persuade Neil to pay. “That’s for the pair of them as you’ll no doubt be wanting Harriet to accompany you when riding. A groom is fine but sometimes they get a bit obstinate like my man. Now sit yourself down and I’ll put the kettle on then you can have a cup of tea and a slice of cake.”
Theodosia looked to Harriet “Should we buy two mares without even inspecting them?” “Go and take her out to the paddock. Let me cut up a couple of apples first then off you go.” The two girls went out to the paddock together and Harriet called the two mares over by name. “This one is Millie, her coat would go nicely with your hair and the other one is Bella whose coat is many colours but she is quieter and has a sweet temperament. Well both do really. The Suttons raised them in the hopes that the family at the house would buy them for their two daughters but times have changed now and they no longer live there.” “We’d best go back and drink our tea and let the menfolk do their bit.”
Twenty minutes later after discussing the domestic issues that affected the estate Charlie and Mr. Sutton arrived at the kitchen. “Have you two come to an agreement then?” “Aye, but its daylight robbery the price he was asking at first but eventually we came to an agreement as he has two he wants to sell. So we’re buying two for the price of one.” “Will you be wanting me to break the news to Neil?” “Aye well you’re better at it than most.” “Tell me the price then.” Theodosia eyes opened wide when it was exactly the same as Betty had mentioned earlier.
Charlie lifted two side saddles off the back of the gig and saddled the two mares. First he lifted Theodosia into the saddle then Harriet. “Well you know your way home. Off you go.”
“I’m not quite sure what your role is? You seem to have a lot of influence with Mr. Gillingham. Are you sleeping with him?” “We all call him Neil. I’m not sleeping with him. Ellen sleeps in his room but that’s only to protect him from the likes of Anna. Ellen and I let him kiss and fondle us but that’s as far as it goes. I have an idea he has money made in trade or something but I’m not certain. We try not to talk about it in case any mothers with unmarried daughters get too many ideas. I made some common sense suggestions to him that should make the estate some money and more to the point put some wages in the hands of the estate workers. The estate has been run down recently. In return he asked me what I’d like to do so I said be a lady’s maid and that’s how you came to be hired so I could learn to be a lady’s maid.” “Are we on calling terms with any neighbours?” “Well not exactly on calling terms but once a week some of the gentry come to call on the housekeeper and I lend them books from Neil’s library. He gets the latest best sellers sent to him each month and after he’s read them then I read them and we lend them out.” “I can see I’m going to like living here.” “Can you play the piano?” “Yes, but I’m out of practise.” “We have one but no one can play. The family left it behind.”
Slowly Theodosia and Harriet settled into a routine. After first making up some dresses Theodosia looked around at what else needed doing. She’d been brought up on an estate so had a basic idea of what needed doing. Harriet got dragged along as she first visited the estate workers looking for problems that the steward might not have noticed. In the afternoon on Tuesdays and Fridays she took over the servants’ hall to run a school for anyone on the estate or from the village who cared to come. The servant’s hall was chosen after consultation with the housekeeper and butler. It was thought that the other rooms were too grand and for those two afternoons the servants could use the drawing room as Neil normally spent his time in the library. As refreshments were served slowly the numbers built up to twenty children. Harriet got given the job of class room assistant as assisting Theodosia was obviously part of her duties.
Harriet’s lessons in arithmetic were adding up the housekeepers ledgers and she was taught what to look for. Slowly Neil’s home was organised. The blend of tea was changed. Faded curtains were replaced after consultation with Neil regarding cost. The pattern was left up to Harriet and Theodosia.
As Harriet mentioned the gentry didn’t exactly call but once a week they would gather in the drawing room and Neil’s precious books were returned and lent out to others along with gossip, cups of the finest tea and small cakes.
They got caught out in the rain one windy day whilst visiting the tenants and Theodosia took to her bed with a chill. Harriet didn’t like to bother her but the housekeeper was asking questions and the tenants needed their weekly visits. “You sort it all out. I’m sure you can. One of the other maids can do for me as I won’t need any elaborate hair styles or dresses for the next little while.” So for the next three weeks Harriet took the reins of the estate in her hands and although the children weren’t quite so well behaved as they were with Theodosia they managed.
Another day and they were off to yet another house party. So far they’d had little luck in finding a sole mate for Harry. They’d stopped for lunch in a picturesque village and Jed left them in the inn’s garden having lunch whilst he stretched his legs and took a stroll down the village street. He noticed the small barefoot children peeping at him behind hedges. It might be picturesque but reading between the lines there was poverty here, he knew the signs well. The church was old, with irregular stone walls. He stopped and looked at a few tomb stones. The same surnames reoccurring. “Fine day.” He greeted the curate and even the curate’s clothes had seen better days. “So it is, so it is.” They fell into a conversation about how times were hard for the working man. “I thought curates lived well?” “Some do but this parish is one of my vicar’s twenty three. So he collects the tithes and lives a very comfortable life too whilst I live on a pittance but I get the odd fee.” The curate looked him over hopefully “It’s an ideal church to get married in.” “I’d need someone to marry.” “Well I could at least read the banns for you.” “But I’m not connected to this parish.” “You need a connection to marry but not for the banns. For just a few small coins I could read the banns and issue a certificate then you can get married any time after that.” “Even years later?” “Even years later.” Jed mulled the idea over and brought out his purse and looked in it before passing the coins over. “Come into my cottage and I’ll write the names down correctly.” The curate drew them both a glass of ale from the barrel in the kitchen. “Not a bad drop.” “One of the war widows brews mine. Now then let’s have your full name.”
They sat at the desk in the curate’s cottage and Jed gave his full name and that of Catherine’s as well. He was relaxed by the ale and hoped his lucky sixpence would bring him luck. Then he had a thought. The real bit of luck would be if Harry and Miss Theodosia Hodge would marry. Some of the young ladies Harry had been looking over were not ones you’d want to work for. He pulled out his purse and paid to have curate read the banns for them as well. “I’ll date these certificates for three weeks time and you can take them with you. Just keep them safe for three weeks before you show them to anyone.” Jed gave the curate an extra shilling.
Archibald looked through his funds twenty pounds, not worth taking to the hells. Still, a bit of excitement was called for. Sally had gone off somewhere but Jane. Yes Jane, it was about time he had a bit of fun.
He rang the bell and waited for Jane to answer. “Ah Jane I'd like your opinion on this wine.” He held out a glass. Jane hesitated she didn't like to offend him by refusing. She took the glass and sipped it. She put the glass down and curtsied. “Very pleasant sir.” “Finish the glass then try this claret.” Jane did as she was bid then sipped the red wine. “I'm feeling a bit warm.” “Sit yourself down besides me.” Sit in the presence of the master. She couldn't possibly but there again she couldn't afford to offend him either.
He reached up and took her hand and pulled her gently down on to the sofa. “I shouldn't sir?” “Of course you should. Now we should practise kissing so we get it right at Christmas time.” “Kissing sir?” “You don't think kissing under the mistletoe at Christmas is wrong do you?” “No sir.” “It's always best to practise these things beforehand.” “But it's months until Christmas.” She was kissed anyway.
She found she quite liked kissing. She wasn't quite so sure about his hands wandering over her body though. It felt wicked even though it felt ever so nice.
Sally returned from visiting her family. She looked in to the drawing room just to see if Archibald had decided to stay in these evening. She knew it was close to quarter day and that meant fewer of the more expensive entertainments he favoured than his purse could afford.
There was Archibald with Jane sat in his lap her skirts up showing her knees with his hand disappearing higher still. Two empty wine glasses stood on the small table by the side telling their own tale, time to take a hand.
“Good evening sir. Would you be more comfortable in the bedroom?” It was Archibald's time to be surprised. He had thought Sally was far too independent to consider seducing. “Well yes I suppose we would.” He scooped up Jane in his arms and carried her into the bedroom. Jane felt overwhelmed with what was happening. “Now let's get the pair of you undressed.” Jane found herself standing in her shift as Sally unbuttoned her dress. Next Sally turned her attention to Archibald and she helped him undress. Thinking as she did so she was thankful Jane had lit the fire in the master's bedroom earlier so it was warm. She had Archibald lay back on the bed and quickly shrugged off her dress. She wrapped her fingers around his manhood and used the other hand to caress his thigh. Jane looked on open mouthed. She lowered her lips and took him in her mouth that was better he was firming up nicely now. She tugged Jane across and nudged her into taking Archibald’s manhood in her mouth. What Jane lacked in skill, she made up for in youthful eagerness.
Archibald had never been given oral stimulation before and now he had two tongues licking and slurping his rod. It only took a few minutes before he spurted and a surprised Jane caught most of it in her mouth. Archibald collapsed on the bed. Jane whispered in awe “They don’t last very long do they.” “We’ll have to work on getting him to give you satisfaction as well.” “Really?” “Really.” Was whispered back.
The next morning Sally served Archibald his breakfast. “There’s a good farce on at the theatre tonight. You could take Jane and myself. I’ve never sat in private box before.” She stressed the word private as she spoke. Mentally she went through her wardrobe thinking if she had a suitable low cut dress she could wear or where could she lay her hands on one. She fancied being admired by the gentry at the theatre. She might even fondle Archibald discreetly in the box. Archibald looked at the gleam in her eye “We’d best go then.” He found her some money for a box and left her to it.
“Nelly, you know it’s your half day so come with us to the theatre.” “Why the treat?” “Well Jane and I could do with borrowing a couple of dresses. I mean to say we will be mixing with the toffs.” Nelly looked thoughtful “Blimey what a lark. All right I’ll bring round a couple this afternoon and we’ll emulate the toffs themselves. They won’t know what hit them.”
Jane looked at the dress and fell instantly in love with it. “Are you sure she won’t mind?” “She’ll never know and she only ever wears her dresses once.” “What a waste. If this were my dress you’d never get me out of it.”
Archibald had his supper then prepared to take his staff to the theatre. Jane and Nelly quickly helped Sally change and Archibald blinked twice at the transformation. “Pop your eyes back in love. We’re going to knock them dead tonight.” Sparkled Nelly. They walked to the theatre and in the foyer two of his acquaintances spotted him. “Archie you old rogue. What are you doing with the three loveliest ladies in the theatre old man?” Jane put her hand on his arm. “I’ve never been called a lady before. Do it again.” “Archie you don’t mean to say these are Covent Garden nuns?” “I ain’t no virgin nun. Jane here’s the virgin.” Lord Thompson stared hard at Jane besotted. “So lovely.” he murmured. “Are these handsome gents going to join us in your Box?” “I’m sure we don’t have enough chairs.” “That’s all right love I can sit in your lap.”
“But mother how can they afford to wear the very latest fashions from Francine’s?” “Hush dear just ignore them. I’ll explain it all later to you.” “But Lord Thompson is with them.” “We’ll ignore him as well tonight.” “But I’ve set my heart on him.”
“What’s them cows with the sparklers staring at?” Whispered Jane. “You’re wearing the very latest fashion and they want our escorts for their daughters.” “Poor cows.” Jane clung on to her admirer and turning put her tongue out at the well dressed woman who had been glaring at her.
In the box away from prying eyes Jane rested her hand on Lord Thompson’s inner thigh. Sally negotiated with Lord Thompson for Jane to become his mistress. She would be her housekeeper so she could guide Jane and introduce her to ways of avoiding the family way.
“Tell me again how much he’s willing to pay me? And we both get a pension of a hundred pounds a year when he’s finished with us?” Jane whispered and Sally whispered back. “An all because of a dress. He’s mad.” “I know my poppet and it’s up to us to take advantage of him.” At the end of the play Archibald found he was escorting only Nelly home. “Don’t you worry about not getting your oats my love, Nelly will take care of you tonight.” The other two were being carried away by Lord Thompson to the family’s discreet smaller home.
The next day Jane was sat knitting a scarf when Lord Thompson arrived. “Hello love sit yourself down and I’m sure a cuppa will be here shortly. They make good tea here you know. Now what have you been doing with yourself this morning?” “This isn’t quite what I’d expected. I’ve come to take you shopping at the jewellers today.” “So I can help you pick out a pair of cuff links?” “I was thinking of something for yourself.” “I wouldn’t bother I’d only lose it. Now if you want to give me something I’d really like.” “You only have to name it.” “A bit of your company is what I’d like more than anything.” Lord Thompson suddenly realised that having Jane for a mistress was going to be different. “Not a wardrobe full of dresses?” “A few lengths of material wouldn’t go amiss. Sally and I can both sew and there are a few maids doing not so much in this house. Actually a few extra lengths would be useful then they can have a new dress or two each.” She put down her knitting and took up a skein of wool. “Hold this for me.” She commanded and proceeded to wind a ball of wool from the skein as he moved his hands to feed the wool to her. Sally entered carrying a tray with the tea things. “A very domestic scene.” She murmured. “I haven’t done this for years. I think I used to do it for my old nurse.” “Would you like to stay for supper? It’s shepherd’s pie.” Sally watched his conflicting emotions “Go on you know you want to. No one will know.” “But it’s de rigueur to adore French cuisine.” “You wouldn’t want to upset your hostess would you?” “Well no.” “In that case appease your conscience by knowing you please Jane by eating with us.” Lord Thompson gave way gracefully. He felt he could relax here and be himself. He found talking to Jane easy, much easier than talking to the debs who only interested in hearing what he thought of their new dress.
“Of course if he’s to show you off at the theatre and at the gardens you’ll need a posh gown or two for that.” “Well I was talking to some of the young ladies nearby and they have a few dressmakers and seamstresses as well they call on. The seamstresses do work for the premier modistes as well but they’re much more reasonably priced.”
Sally looked at the play of expressions on Lord Thompson’s face. “I suspect the dressmakers want to show off their wares and not everyone can be a sort after modiste with a French accent but you must be at your best so you’re a credit to Lord Thompson when you’re out and about.” “Would you like to try one?” “Yes please.”
The dressmaker eyed her up. “Well yes it’s a choice between a neckline that plunges and you’ll certainly catch every man's eye or we can do something more modest which will really put the cat among the pigeons.” “Why?” “Because it’s what the debs will be wearing and it might even lead a few to my door.” “We’ll go respectable then. I can always wear something indecent in the house.”
Sally eyed Jane with respect. “It’s been a month now and he hasn’t bedded you yet.” “It’s fun getting to know him and making him feel comfortable in our house but I suspect kisses are only warming him up so you’d better explain ways to keep me from falling in the family way again or do you think we can keep him happy with our tongues on his manhood?” “We’ll try tongues first shall we?” “I’d like to keep him happy.” “Well he seems more relaxed and much happier than he was to start with.” “Good.”
Captain Sir Andrew Mortimer walked slowly down the steps into the ball room. He’d lost a lot of weight and was still a bit unsteady on his feet but the thought of seeing is beloved Cynthia once more drove him forward and there she was looking magnificent. As he walked slowly over to her court she caught sight of him and a look of horror spread over her face. “Andrew what have they done to you?” “It’s just a sabre scar.” “I couldn’t live with it. Here have your ring.” Andrew was stunned as she turned away. Lord Thompson came up behind and led him away. “For two years only the thought of Cynthia waiting for me kept me going.” “Yes old man but let’s get you out of here before you go to pieces.” Behind him the gossip in the ballroom spread after the meeting. Cynthia’s mother was appalled at her daughter’s behaviour in public. The rejection should have been done more slowly in private. Her thoughts now were on damage control as the military showed their displeasure of Cynthia’s actions to one of their own.
They climbed up the steps slowly and once out of sight of the ballroom Lord Thompson summoned a footman to his aid and between them they half carried him to the front door and sat him down whilst Lord Thompson summoned his coach.
They had to lift him into the coach. “Where’s home old man?” “Just an inn.” “Well you’re in no fit state to stay there. I’ll take you to my home.” “Good god no. I don’t want to be on display. Just drop me off by the River Thames then I can drown myself.” Jane, practical Jane would know what to do.
He hammered on the door and desperately explained what had happened to Jane and Sally. “He’s ill you say and depressed.” “Rejected publicly by his fiancee because of his facial scar. I feel bad about it as he got it saving my life.” Sally went out to inspect him. He felt cold to the touch to her. “Jane he’s best off in your room. It has the space and a fire lit.” “Let’s get him in then.” Jane held the horses whilst Lord Thompson’s coachman, Lord Thompson and their footman struggled to get Andrew up the stairs where Sally had already pulled the blankets away so he could be lain on the bed.
“Do we need a doctor?” “I think he’s better without. He looks as if he has an infection so keeping him warm, good nursing and getting some food in him is the best for him and that we can manage. Giving him the will to live will be more difficult but I’ll manage something somehow.” Mentally she referred to his fiancee as a stupid cow. They sent Lord Thompson off home and Jane and Sally looked over their patient. “So what do you think?” “You take my bed and I’ll sleep alongside him tonight to keep him warm.”
Giving him the will to live was the hardest part. In the morning Sally asked him how he was feeling and received a moan for her troubles. She offered him a coffee but just was given another moan. She shrugged and brought up a bacon sandwich to nibble whilst she watched over him. His eyes opened and he gave her a hard stare. “I’m trying to die here and all you can do is tempt me with the smell of a bacon sandwich.” Sally bit a bit off and thrust the morsel in his mouth and watched him gently chew it. “Why do you want to die?” “Cynthia can’t stand my scar.” She bent forward and kissed his scar from one end to the other. “There kissed all better now.” She picked up a mug of coffee and noisily slurped it in front of his nose. He opened his lips and she put the mug to them giving him a light kiss on the lips as a reward when he indicated he’d finished.
“So how is he?” Sally looked over Andrew. “He took a nibble of bacon sandwich and a sip of coffee earlier on so he’s showing some interest in life but there is a long way to go yet. Jane has some thin stew stewing in the kitchen so bit a bit of luck he might get a bit down. What are his favourite foods by the way?” “I’m not sure to be honest. We fought together in Spain but there wasn’t a lot of choice to spot what he liked. Stews and your shepherd’s pie should do fine.” “Can you find me some fresh fruit? Oranges are easy to eat.” “It shall be done.”
Lady Linthorpe put it out it was all a misunderstanding. Desperately servants were bribed to discover Andrew’s whereabouts. Doctors’ servants were bribed to find out which doctor was treating him but all to no avail. Other than two footmen at Lord Thompson’s house were overheard discussing where Andrew could be and asking other members of staff. A maid who one had kissed against her will mentioned the matter to Lord Thompson. “Balfour find Tim and Walter for me.” “I think it’s Tim’s half day off my lord.” “I didn’t ask if it was his half day off I want them both here in front of me now. Just dispatch a pair of footmen or grooms to collect each of them.”
The two footmen were brought in and stood on the carpet in front of him. “Have either of you accepted money from Lady Linthorpe?” The two men looked at each other. Balfour looked aghast that one of his staff could have been bribed. “Yes my lord.” Admitted the Tim. “Why?” “She’s been asking about the whereabouts of Captain Mortimer.” “And what have you told her?” “That’s he’s not here.” “Balfour I’m extremely disappointed that the staff under you are so disloyal as to allow themselves to be bribed. I do not want to see a reoccurrence nor do I wish to find these two have made a profit from their activities. I will leave the matter in your capable hands. Now everyone get out.” “If Lady Linthorpe was to be fed false information my Lord?” “Such as he was carried north a ship bound for Newcastle and to one of my lessor estates up there. Yes that might work and you might even have saved your job and your two footmen as well.” Balfour breathed a sigh of relief and as they left the study he motioned the two footmen into the servant’s hall where he proceeded to make his personal views known to them.
Slowly so slowly they nursed him back to life. Lord Thompson spent time both with him and with Jane discussing how Andrew was getting on. “You know he might do better in the country now for a period of convalescence. He’s just about well enough to travel.” He discussed the matter with Andrew. “Trouble is the country isn’t the same as town. The tenants wouldn’t take kindly to having unchaperoned unmarried Sally and Jane around.” “Well I’ve no intention of doing without Sally. I could always marry her. I suppose. She’s a comfortable armful.” “The tabbies would never speak to us again.” “Well that’s a point in favour of marriage.” “But what would I do about Jane?” “They’re both intelligent and practical, our children wouldn’t be quite so inbred.” “We’d best have them in then and see what they think.”
Lord Thompson closed his family town house up. The staff would go on board wages for the first time ever. With luck many would find other posts especially Balfour. The exception were three maids who were given the choice of his country estate, the family’s second home or remain on board wages. All three chose the family estate. He left instructions that the town house was discreetly to be put up for sale if a reasonable offer was made. He’d use the second home as a pied de terre for when he wanted to attend parliament.
The first house party on Louisa-Margaretta’s list, Lord Thompson’s estate. They were welcomed warmly by his new wife who had a slightly odd accent. “You must let me know if there is anything that we can do to make your stay more enjoyable. You must know I met my dear husband through your cousin Archibald.” “It sounds most unlike him to match make.” “I don’t think he was trying to at the time.” This was said with a grin and Louisa-Margaretta thought it more tactful not to enquire. “Now are you looking for a husband for yourself or someone for Harry?” Louisa-Margaretta smiled as Lord Thompson mentioned it wasn’t normal to be quite so blunt. “Sounds a lot of nonsense to me to beat about the bush.” “A young lady of good family.” “Let me see I can think of a couple we could invite over to dine with us tonight.” “But won’t they feel insulted by the late invitation.” “Oh I’ll just write to say with an unexpected guest my numbers are uneven and I’ve a spare unmarried male to even up. They grimace but they’ll be here. I’ll send the groom off now. I’d better invite a few males as well for a smoke screen.” “Are we unexpected?” “Well more than one set of guests won’t bother to turn up. Especially those who had their sights on Raymond.” “Now have you met Andrew? He’s convalescencing here at the moment.” “Ah Mrs. Linthorpe has been desperate to make amends.” “Poor cow, pardon my French. He’s married to Sal now.” Louisa-Margaretta grinned and Jane tried to make amends. “I know I should be more polite about her.”
At dinner that evening the reigning local beauty set out to cast her net over Harry. Unfortunately Harry was much more interested in talking to Eleanor who spoke to him about his horses. “Dad has given up on trying to teach my elder brother to drive so in the end I had to show him how.” “Your elder brother?” “Yes it was just a matter of motivating him and pointing out that he could carry his beloved dogs in a dog cart and they’d be fresher to go hunting rather than have them run alongside his horse.” Harry grinned. “Oh dear Grace is looking daggers at me for talking to you too much.” “Grace our local reigning belle.” “And the other young lady sat quietly in the corner is?” “Mary.” “Her interests?” “Herbs and so forth.” “Does she grow her own.” “But of course. That way she knows they’re fresh.” He turned and spoke to the matron on his other side. “So which one will you have?” “Am I so obvious?” “No but Grace is.” “I must ask her what she knows about healing herbs.” “That won’t be a long conversation. Still it’s a good example you’re setting to my son not to just be blinded by beauty.”
“I take it he’s one of Grace’s court?” “Yes but I have hopes of Eleanor now. She managed to keep up a conversation with you for quite ten minutes so with luck he’ll follow your lead.” “And if I should be interested for myself?” “I’d point out to you that all three girls are young and not quite up to your weight. Eleanor is the best of them but she’s been promised a season next year and my gossip says that’s too long for you to wait.”
When the gentlemen joined the ladies Harry took care to speak to Grace for a few moments before excusing himself and seeking out his hostess for an introduction to Mary who he understood knew a little about herbs.
Later when the guest had all gone home Jane buttonholed him. “Any take your fancy?” “I was quite bowled over by Grace’s beauty.” A maid looked up from clearing the tables. Jane looked across the room to her. “Susan you may have an extra half day to visit your cousin in the morning.” Susan curtsied. “That way Grace will be appeased but I suspect there were no available young ladies quite to your liking.” “As you say.” “You’ll best be off first thing then. Lord Hose sets a good table and has two unmarried daughters although one is horse mad.”
The third house party within a week.
Catherine gave the gentleman a hard stare as he scooped her up in his arms and prepared to kiss her. “I’m not one of the amenities.” “Whoops sorry.” He released her and staggered slightly away. “Let’s get you to your room darling.” One of the housemaids came up and supported him to his room. Another approached Catherine. “Sir Lionel tips very generously when he visits but I’ll try to steer him way from you.”
When she got back to Louisa-Margaretta’s room she closed the door firmly behind her. “What happened?” “A slightly drunk Sir Lionel tried to kiss me.” “Sounds like I’d better not roam around by myself.” “I understand that all the maids are young and pretty.” “I don’t think this is the right sort of house party for us. There are only two unmarried girls. One seems a little slow to understand things and the other.” She hesitated and Catherine completed the sentence “Seems as if she has tried the marriage bed out without the benefit of wedding vows.” “We are catty tonight aren’t we.” “But you agree?” “I agree. We’ll move on after lunch.”
Later that night Harry returned to his room. He’d dismissed his valet earlier during the day saying visiting or not it was his half day after all. He looked at the bed to see a dark head of hair on his pillow, an attempt to compromise him? She seemed to be asleep so he gently shook her shoulder. “Oh sorry sir. We’ve been so overrun with work during the house party that rather than go down for a warming pan I thought I’d just warm the sheets myself. It’s a very comfortable bed and I must have fallen asleep.” “And no doubt it’s three to a bed upstairs.” “As you say sir.” “Well move over then and you can sleep here tonight.”
She wiggled out of bed dressed in just her shift. “First things first sir, please get undressed.” Mystified Harry did as he was bid. Anne folded his clothes up nicely before turning to him. “Now into bed with you.” He slid between the warmed sheets and snuggled down. She sat on the side of the bed and kissed him, running her hands over his chest and through the hairs on his chest. Then as she was kissing him she worked her hand lower still until she was caressing his hardening rod. “There now let’s get some blood in it.” Harry thoughts were lost as the delightful sensations she was causing emptied his mind. His testicles emptied shortly afterwards to be mopped up with his handkerchief. “There now you’re safe.” She slid into bed with him and quickly fell fast asleep.
Harry was awakened about an hour later when his bedroom door opened and a candle lit the room casting a light over two heads on the pillow. There was a hesitation then the figure crept silently out of the room. Ten minutes later the door was thrown open and a scream pierced the room. “My darling what has he done?” Doors down the corridor were thrown open and heads peered out. Scandal, the stuff of dreams. “Mama you’re making fuss.” Mama looked bewildered “Come back to your room. This one isn’t yours.” Mama allowed herself to be carried off back to her room. “Sorry to have disturbed you all, mother mistook her room.” “But there were two heads on the pillow.” “But neither was mine.” Came the whispered reply. “I made a mistake so sorry to have disturbed you.” Everyone wondered just who was in bed with Harry. Still, they’d find out in the morning.
Catherine stood in the corridor listening to every word. Then repeated all the gossip back to Louisa-Margaretta. “Well I don’t know who it was but we need to protect her reputation. You’d better flirt blatantly with him in the morning.” “What about my reputation?” “You’ll still flirt blatantly with him tomorrow morning and get me up early so I can catch him before breakfast.”
Next morning Louisa-Margaretta slipped into Harry’s room and closed the door behind her. “Harry just who was in your bed last night?” “Oh a house maid called Anne I think she said her name was. It was totally innocent well apart from a kiss. Then some old harridan came and woke me up.” “Well if she isn’t to lose her job over this we’d better throw some dust in the gossips eyes so this morning you’re going to flirt with Catherine.” “She’ll box my ears.” “Tried it already have you? She’ll flirt with you this morning though. Remember Anne saved you from a fate you really wouldn’t like.”
Harry wondered downstairs and tapped Catherine on her behind. She turned and gave him a long smouldering look over her shoulder. As Lady Susan reported later to the breakfast table they might just as well be making love in public it was so blatant. There was no doubt in anyone’s mind just who had been in Harry’s bed last night.
Louisa-Margaretta sat curled up in Harry’s room reading her book when the maid entered and closed the door behind her before starting her tasks. “Hello you must be Anne?” “Oh miss you startled me.” “I came to thank you for saving my brother last night.” “It wasn’t deliberate.” “I’m sure it wasn’t.” “Still it was your maid that saved my job this morning.” “I’m delighted to hear it. Now if you tire of your job take this letter to the address on the front and my housekeeper will find you a place.” “You don’t expect me to sleep with your brother do you?” “No no it’s a respectable house no matter how blatantly my maid flirts sometimes and here is a purse to pay your way on the mail coach.” She lifted a small purse out and gave it to the servant. “I must confess I’m tempted. It seems that many of the maids here are no better than they should be which I didn’t realise at first and now of course no one respectable will employ me because I’ve worked here.” “We’re leaving today after lunch so if your bag happened to be in the boot of our coach there would be a seat inside for yourself just ask for Jed in the stables.” “Thank you miss but I’d better finish these rooms before lunch no matter what.”
Archibald looked at his funds, not so good. Now if only he was married and Harry wasn’t at the end of the month. He’d have to plan something.
They gathered at the baron’s home. A final house party for the wedding. Sophia had agreed to an early wedding and the first of the banns had been called. The wedding would be three days before the deadline but that was fine. Home and dry was his Harry’s thoughts. Sophia was a bit young but the best of those he’d looked over. His valet seemed a little lukewarm but he always was one who was resistant to change. Archibald was there to lend his support. He was pleased to see Archibald been spending some time getting to know his future bride, that way she’d feel more comfortable with his family.
Catherine looked over the assembled guests. Would one do for her mistress? Mr. Comerford looked interesting. Quiet, no title, but his comments when he made them were pertinent. She talked amongst the servants and he seemed reasonable. Sophia was unreasonable and very demanding even if she appeared demure in public. Still, she was Harry’s problem not hers. During breakfast she looked up in the servant’s hall to see Mr. Comerford’s valet. “It’s a pleasant day.” She boldly opened the conversation. “Too good to be cooped up in here.” “You mean we should be out and about. Take a carriage ride out to a picturesque spot for a picnic?” “I know just the place, a village with a river running through and ducks to feed. Now if only we had a carriage at our disposal.” “If you mentioned to yours there was an outing arranged this morning and I was to do the same to mine, we could arrange for them to take his carriage and we’d have to accompany them.” “We’d never get away with it.” She gave him her very best enticing smile. “I’m sure a resourceful man such as yourself could arrange it, at the front of the house in an hour?” Flattered the valet dashed off to see what he could arrange.
Catherine took a breakfast tray up to her mistress. “There’s an expedition to a picturesque village setting off in less than an hour.” “You mean hurry up?” “The words wouldn’t pass my lips.” “How about fashionably late?” “If you want the best choice of seats fashionably late might not work.” Louisa-Margaretta put out her tongue to her too pert maid but when all said and done she was at the front door at the appointed hour where Mr. Comerford’s coach was drawn up. “In you go.” Louisa-Margaretta was helped in by a footman and took one of the forward facing seats. Shortly afterwards Mr. Comerford and his valet stepped in and the coach pulled away. “Mr. Comerford how nice to see you. I don’t recall anyone mentioning a proposed outing this morning last night.” “Odd that I don’t either.” Louisa-Margaretta turned a questioning eye on her maid who was trying to look innocently out of the window. “Who organised this outing?” “I don’t quite recall.” There was pause then Mr. Comerford asked “Who else is coming?” Catherine looked up at the ceiling. “You know I suspect we are the only coach. Are we Catherine?” “Possibly but I hear it’s a very nice village with ducks to feed.” “Why is Mr. Comerford travelling with us?” “Well we need him since it’s his coach.” “And his valet?” “He knows where the best places to feed ducks are.” “Mr. Comerford I am ashamed to say we appear to have kidnapped you and my maid appears to be deeply involved.” “If I’ve been kidnapped, I couldn’t wish for better company.” “Thank you kind sir.” Louisa-Margaretta glared at her maid. “We’ll discuss this in more detail later.” “Yes Miss.”
Louisa-Margaretta and Mr. Comerford seemed to find common ground in being suspicious of their servants. From there it was a short step in how devious servants were in general and how could one be certain what one would be like when hiring new ones.
However the village was picturesque, the ducks friendly, the village church historic and the picnic lunch delicious. “Do you think we should starve them or let them have some food. I must say this chicken is done to turn.” It was Catherine’s turn to glare at her mistress. “You don’t think it would be a waste? They might not appreciate the finer points of Jean-Paul’s cooking.” Mr. Comerford quietly snaffled the last hard boiled egg. “Would you care for a stroll after lunch?” “I suppose we could leave the picnic basket so they could feed some of it to the ducks.” Arm in arm and well satisfied with each other Mr. Comerford and Louisa-Margaretta took a gentle stroll along the river bank. Catherine and the valet made inroads on the remaining food before taking their own stroll in the opposite direction.
“You don’t think we were too hard on them eating lunch in front of them.” “Too hard on them. The trouble with long serving staff is they take liberties at times but it is pleasant to get away from the house.” She stumbled and he offered his arm. The view was pleasant and she stood content in his arms sheltered from the wind. “Why do you think your maid is matchmaking?” “Well when Harry weds his wife will take over the running of the house and I’ve no intention of living in the same house. I suspect Sophia and I will not get on. She’s pretty enough for Harry and defers to him but Catherine has her doubts so I need to get married soon. I may end up doing the season once more but this time in earnest.” She twisted in his arms and raised her lips to his. “Mmm nice. I’ll add you to the short list.” “How many have names have you got so far?” “Just the one but I’m sure I can soon add a few more.” “Baggage.” He bet to kiss her once more but she held up her hand. “Any more and my lips would be bruised and Catherine would know. More to the point she’d go round looking smug and I’d rather she didn’t have anything to be smug about at the moment.”
They walked back hand in hand until they could see the carriage. “I’m quite sure I saw a pair of moorhens darting about on the riverbank.” Mr. Comerford picked up on her lead and together they talked about various birds they’d seen in the river and in the hedges. Catherine was disappointed. She’d hoped to hear a far more personal conversation. “Now that looks an interesting church.” They looked over the church and the curate came out to tell them a bit about the history. Mr. Comerford passed him a few coins in appreciation when they left.
Later Louisa-Margaretta questioned her maid “Let me guess you’re trying to bring Jed up to scratch?” Catherine blushed beautifully “I don’t know what you mean. Anyway he’d need more than a subtle hint that one, more my dad’s shot gun.” “I didn’t know you were in the family way?” Catherine glared at her mistress and picked up her skirts “I’ve ironing that needs to be done.” Louisa-Margaretta was content. She felt she’d won that encounter.
Jed had the carriage quietly brought out. He’d noticed the absence of Archibald’s team and drawn his own conclusions. He had the horses harnessed up and his bag packed and in the boot ready. He sent word up by one of the housemaids to Louisa-Margaretta’s maid to come and see him in the stable.
“A romantic assignation, I didn’t know you cared Jed?” “Archibald’s team is missing. I think he’s run off with the bride. She’s only seventeen and Archibald’s team looks good at first glance.” “And Harry is a bit more the solid dependable type. I’ll alert Miss and I’ll have our bags down shortly.”
Today would be his wedding day a full week before the deadline. His valet slipped into his room carrying a cup of coffee. “The house seems to be in turmoil Sir.” “Any special reason?” “Your cousin disappeared in the middle of the night.” “No great loss.” “I haven’t seen any sign of your bride to be and the maids are a little flustered.” Louisa-Margaretta knocked at the door and slipped in. “Time to leave I think. Your cousin has eloped with the bride to be.” “How could he?” “Quite easily I should think. I don’t think he’s forgiven you for having a better team than he had for less than half the price.” “Time to leave?” “Definitely time to sneak away before the Baron takes it upon himself to demand you go and fetch them back.” “I don’t want an unwilling bride.” “Tomkins grab his things and sneak down the backstairs with them. My maid is already in the coach. We’ll give you five minutes then follow.”
They crept downstairs and into the carriage. Jed walked the horses quietly away from the main house then once though the gates he turned south before pulling up a hundred yards down the road. He tapped on the roof and the small door opened. “Has anyone given any thought as to where we are going? I suggest we stay away from the main highway heading North in case we catch up with them.” Inside the carriage brother and sister exchanges looks. “Somewhere with a marriageable young lady of good birth I can marry tomorrow?” “Right you are governor.” The carriage moved off and picked up speed as Jed worked out which route he had to take.
Mr. Comerford glanced out of the window to see Harry sneaking into his coach. Drat he’d better follow them. He picked up his coat and slipped off to the stables. “Charlie grab a mount we’re away.” He turned and spoke to the head groom and handed him a tip. “Tell my valet I’ll send Charlie back to collect him and the carriage when I know where I want them.” They walked his horse quietly out of the stables. “Now I’ve a mind to follow Louisa-Margaretta in the coach that has just left. I can’t think what has happened but they’ve done a flit.” “Mayhap you should have mentioned to the young lady that special licence you have in your pocket?” “Mayhap I should have done but I’d thought to ask her in church after the other wedding which I don’t think will happen now.”
Jed looked over his shoulder to see two riders riding along in the distance. He looked more carefully and noticed the horses were Mr. Comerford’s and if he wasn’t mistaken Mr. Comerford was mounted on one and Charlie his coachman was on the other, no need to worry then.
He tugged on his waterproof cape as he drove and the drizzle turned into shower of rain. Inside the carriage Catherine smiled. “Catherine just what is your Jed up to now?” “My Jed? I’ve no idea but I’ve always had faith in him.” “Well if he pulls this off I think it’s worth doubling his wage.”
On the Great North road Sophia shivered. It had seemed so romantic to be swept off her feet by Archibald and carried off in his curricle to Gretna Green. Archibald in his great coat but Sophia was not dressed for the rain and was getting steadily wetter and colder. She lashed out at him because it was raining. Couldn’t he stop it? Distracted he turned to her and movements the team sensing his inattention grew restless and he fought to control them before ending up in the ditch. Sophia slid off the bench seat into the muddy water filled ditch. His groom jumped down to look to the horses and tried to stay away from the verbal abuse that was pouring from Sophia as Archibald in vain tried to calm her down. Didn’t the silly cow realise they had to get married within two days or there was no money. “For God’s sake you silly cow shut it. We’re in this together. We have to get to Gretna Green within two days or there is no money. You can’t go back he won’t have you and your parents won’t be happy with you either. You’re completed ruined unless we pull this off. I’ll give you my great coat and I’ll have my groom’s. Now get back on the curricle.”
The groom knew he wasn’t going to be popular but even grooms have limits and this one wasn’t going anywhere near Gretna Green without a great coat not for the promise of wages to come. “The wheel’s damaged.” He called out. Archibald swore and turned to see the mail coach bearing down on them. He flagged it down and with a hefty bribe managed to get a very damp Sophia an inside seat and himself a seat on top. The groom was left standing by the roadside with instructions to do the best he could. Well without funds there wasn’t much he could do except unhitch the team and riding one whilst leading the others he returned to Sophia’s parents where hopefully he could seek assistance from Harry.
They finally reached Neil’s home late in the evening. Neil came to the front door as Jed drove the carriage up the drive. “Don’t tell me he wants his money back? Still you’d better come in and I’ll see if we can find you something to eat.” Theodosia came up behind and murmured “Beds for the night as well?” “Seeing as Jed is driving I think we can assume they’re respectable.” Theodosia stepped forward. “I suggest you freshen up so if you’ll step this way I’ll see to your rooms.” She sent a footman down to the kitchen to warn them about the unexpected guests.
Once Mr. Comerford realised where Jed was headed and that he knew Neil from business dealings he’d had in the past with him, Charlie got sent back for the coach and his belongings. Mr. Comerford took his horse round to the stable and leaving him there stepped up to the back door and asked for Neil.
“Hello Alex come to join us have you?” “If you’ll have me. I’m on horseback but I expect my coach and belongings to arrive late tomorrow.” “Well we’ve company but I don’t suppose they’ll mind another at table. I think it might well be ham and eggs tonight though seeing as we had little warning of anyone coming. Come through and I’ll introduce you.”
Alex was led through to the drawing room where Harry and Louisa-Margaretta were sat chatting. “Now I’ve warned them we normally eat at the kitchen table but that didn’t seem to put them off.” “You! What are you doing here?” Alex pulled out his special licence and passed it to her. “I thought we might visit the local church tomorrow seeing as you have an interest in historical churches.”
“I feel honoured by your visit but wondered if you had any special reason?” Jed fumbled in his jacket and drew out the two certificates and handed them to Theodosia. “Someone called Catherine is getting married to Jed?” Catherine looked flustered. “No the other one.” “I’m getting married?” Harry looked to Jed. “She’s the second daughter of a third son so of good birth and she’s fair to the staff.” “Well if you’ll have me.” “If you marry tomorrow he gets a substantial inheritance.” Theodosia blinked. Her own home to run not have to worry about money any more. She’d get married even if the groom was elderly but Harry looked like it wouldn’t be a hardship. “Well I can make myself available in the morning if my employer is agreeable.” Neil grinned “You should seal it with a kiss.” Whilst Theodosia was busy kissing Harry Catherine took a seat next to Jed. “How long have you been carrying this around?” “A day or two.” “A month or two is more like it.” “But will you?” Catherine nodded. “I thought it was supposed to be one kiss?”
Theodosia looked flustered “I lost count.” She admitted. Harry walked to his sister and lifted the special licence out of her hands. “Are you getting married sis?” “Well it would appear to be fashionable at the moment.” She glanced at Catherine who was looking obnoxiously smug
Neil quietly dispatched a footman to advise the vicar that there would be three weddings the following morning.
The next morning all three couples were married in church much to the delight of the villagers. In church Harriet stood next to Neil and slipped her hand in his. As the three couples left the church Neil approached the vicar. He looked towards Harriet “Shall we have the banns read?” She nodded happily.
The children had tied up the lynch gate but insisted on retying it as each couple went through thus obtaining three times as much money as they might normally obtain for a wedding.
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Is there a Lady in the House Regency - Karen Blayne