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\b Fallen Angel\b0
\b Chapter 1\b0
\b Thanksgiving Day!\b0
It was turkey day as we called it. I was doing a
preflight on my AH-1 Super Cobra Gunship at 0600
hours, along with my co-pilot gunner, Lieutenant
Calvin Griffin, whom was nicknamed 'Cal', in much
the same token I took on the nickname 'Raven',
because I was up most of the time. Besides, everyone
had a nickname in the 23rd-Assault Team, of the First
Cavalry Division.
For the past six weeks, it seemed Charlie had been
getting aggressive, attacking more often, keeping me in
the air twelve to fourteen hours a day, seven days a
week. It had been so long since I had a day off I was
beginning to wonder what happened to Saturdays and
Sundays and if I'd ever see another one. In this or
any war, there was no such thing as a holiday or
weekends. There were leisurely days, but not of late,
which was beginning to take its toll on me. I felt as
if I were coming down with something and was feeling
weak at times, but nothing that was affecting my
judgment.
Each day was a new adventure, flying throughout
certain sectors that were divided by grids on a map.
My mission was threefold, reconnaissance, armed
escort, and direct aerial fire support. While on
reconnaissance in the area within one of these
sectors, typically cruising at treetop level, I would
wait for an air strike to be called in. That's when
the fun begins. Once the strike was called in, and the
coordinates given, I would find those coordinates
on my map, fly in and loiter over the target, and then
dive as my gunner would scrape the area with a chin-
turret mounted M134 7.62mm "Minigun", or fire from
either of the M200 19-tube, air to ground rocket
launchers. We'd usually finished off anything possibly
missed with a few WP's (White Phosphorus) grenades
from the grenade launcher.
Air strikes were necessary to keep the Viet Cong from
invading, sometimes overtaking one of our LZ's
(Landing Zones), although, if Charlie was spotted in
an area we would be called in to sweep the area with
any or all of our weaponry, hoping to kill as many of
them as possible. The only way to know for sure how
many were dead was by an actual body count. I tried
not to act passionate about my count, but deep down
I was proud that I scored the highest kills in the
company with four hundred thirty confirmed kills,
thus, Cal and I were awarded the title, 'The Don's of
Death', which was painted on the gunship.
Some pilots in the assault team would say that there is
one drawback to this job; it was that many times
civilians were caught in the crossfire. Hell, I didn't
care who was on the other end of an air strike, just so
long as it wasn't an American. These people meant
nothing to me so what did I care if a few of them
burned up from a phosphorous strike. To me, this
was nothing but a country of scrounging, begging,
vagabonds, who seemed not to appreciate us being
here. I had over time reached the conclusion that
this war was not about freedom, but a war that only
served the elite, and so much more now to the point
their pride couldn't let them admit their was no end.
A sniper killed my father about 15 clicks northeast
from here, and for what purpose did his death serve,
nothing. He was in charge of an extraction team that
were dropped in the middle of nowhere to recover
the body of a South Vietnamese General whose
chopper crashed because of a mechanical
malfunction. To borrow a phrase, "We buy their
books, pay for their school, and what do they do?
They fuck the teacher." It was later determined that
safety wire was not used to secure the bolts that held
the rotor blades to the rotor assembly. So actually, it
wasn't the sniper that killed my father, but the
stupidity of some South Vietnamese novice chopper
mechanic. I hope that bastard gets in my line of fire
someday.
I was in my second tour of duty in this god-forsaken
country and with two months remaining, I would fly as
many missions necessary to complete what I considered
my sole purpose for being here, and that was to kill as
many VC as possible.
\cf1\i There was no love lost between my father and I, and I
made him aware of the fact I didn't approve of the way
he raised me. I called home one Friday evening to tell
mother I wouldn't be home over the weekend
because of midterm exams beginning on Monday,
and I was staying in the dorm to study. He had just
gotten home from a temporary duty assignment and
happened to answer the phone. Hey, how's my little
soldier," he asked. When he asked me that I flew off
at him, Dad, that's all I have ever been to you, a little
soldier. I'm your son, not one of the men that you
order around all day. Did you know I played three
sports every year since the middle grades? Where
were you during every game, Mother was there.
Where were you after you bought me my first bike,
to show me how to ride it? How many times did you
watch me playing out in the front yard with a football,
by myself, and come out and say, you want to throw
some? I could go on and on but it would boil down
to the one fact, and that is your not my father, you're
my sergeant. After I said that, he handed the phone
to mother.\cf0\i0
"Cal, are you ready to rock and roll?" I asked,
snapping down the engine cowling.
"You got two months to go and it seems like you would
back off. Let some of these newbies pick up the
slack," he replied, thinking since I was getting
short, I'd be a little more careful.
"Man I got a job to do. How would it look if I were to
slack off? First thing you know they'd be sleeping in
of a morning," I said, while laughing.
"You're an ass. You know that?" He replied,
mumbling under his breath.
"Come on, I'll get you in real close today."
"Hell no!" He shouted. "You're going to get our asses
blown off."
I laughed, getting into the cockpit and said, "Hey, we
got sector 302 today!"
That was always a hot area. Most days in that sector
we returned to camp at least five times during the day
to be re-loaded with ammo, meaning we were
involved in that many firefights. Cal and I knew the
proven method to get confirmed kills was to drop
below the tree line if possible, almost seeing charlie
face to face and then firing on him, although this was
much more dangerous.
"Raven airborne!" I said over the headset to the
tower.
"Roger, Raven is airborne," the tower replied.
We flew about an hour to reach our sector, low-
leveling about thirty feet above the Doc Tau River all
the way, hugging the turns. If we were to come up
on any VC along the river, we were traveling too fast
for them to get a shot off. This wasn't our normal
flight path to reach an area but I did it a lot of times to
cut the boredom of flying higher and in a straight line.
I went up to 5000 feet above the clouds that were
thick, but I found a few holes, allowing me to see
some ground.
Sometimes when I look down at the jungle below,
and see the tops of the thick canopy of trees, I wonder
what my father felt as he climbed down into it by rope
ladder, from a chopper hovering fifty feet above. Did
fear enter his mind? I doubt it.
\cf1\i Dad was on his way out the door, heading for the
airport to come here when I pulled up in the
driveway. He and mom stood by the taxi he had
called to take him there. He kissed mom and gave
her a hug as I was nearing the front door.
"Brian!"
I turned. He was waving me to come over. I walked
to him, not knowing what to say after our last one-
sided discussion. Mom touched my arm as she
walked into the house, to cry.
"Brian, I don't have time now because I have a plane
to catch. But I would like us to sit down when I get
back and have a long, father to son talk. I've done a
little soul searching since we last spoke. Well, we'll
talk; I need to get to the airport. You take care of
your mother."
"Be careful over there." I replied. We shook hands
and he left.
I knew he wanted to make amends, and I wanted us
to. I wanted him to tell me just one time that he
loved me. I can't ever remember us saying those
words to each other. A day didn't pass after he
mentioned us having a talk that I didn't think about it.
I almost counted the days. Now, because of this war,
that was taken from me.\cf0\i0
"Raven, this is Backlash. Copy?" Base was calling.
"Go ahead Backlash. This is Raven, I have a copy."
"On the grid, 3432, 2191, one half click south of LZ
Cousin, copy that?"
"3432, 2191, one half click south of Cousin. That's
affirmed Backlash."
"Raven, you have an eye, Ghostfinder is friendly, copy
on 3171.9."
"Backlash, Raven, copy Ghostfinder on 3171.9."
"Raven, backlash, good copy. Good hunting."
"All right! You ready to kick some ass, Cal?"
"Ready willing and able, Raven."
I tuned the channel to frequency 3171.9, to reach
Ghostfinder, the observation plane.
"Ghostfinder, this is Raven. I have a scrape at 3432,
2191, do you confirm?"
"Raven, this is Ghostfinder. 3432, 2191, is
affirmative. You have a detached squad of rocket
bearers from main force. Your main target is Rocket
Bearers. Do you Copy?"
"Ghostfinder, Raven. Main target is detached rocket
bearers, copy that."
"Raven, this is Backlash. Do you copy?
"What the hell does base want again? "Backlash, Raven,
copy."
"Take out secondary target when primary target is
confirmed. Do you copy?"
"Hey Cal, looks like Backlash is getting greedy today,"
I said to him, chuckling.
"That's not it. They know you'll do it anyway," he
said, sarcastically.
I laughed and then confirmed, "Backlash, Raven, I copy,
secondary target essential."
"Raven, Backlash. That's an affirmative on secondary."
In eight minutes, I was 5000 feet above my primary
target, and started a dive. Cal open fired with a
barrage of ten rockets and at the same time opened up
with burst from the Minigun. When I reached fifty
meters, I rolled the gunship, turning to the secondary
target and moved in for the kill as he opened fire,
spraying them with four to five thousand rounds from
the Minigun. I pulled out, my skids clipping branches
from the treetops, and circled a last pass to observe
the damage.
Cal screamed into his mike," DAMN RAVEN, you almost
made me shit my pants. Pull out sooner next time."
I laughed, "Ghostfinder, Raven. Primary and secondary
targets are confirmed a hit."
"Raven, this is Ghostfinder. Just another 60 seconds
in the park. You are confirmed a hit."
"Backlash, Raven."
"Backlash, Raven."
"Ra-------lash, -----ou copy?"
"Fuck! Avionics said they had it fixed," I stated,
tapping on the radio. "Backlash, Raven. You are
intermittent. Come back."
"------------------Copy?"
"What the fuck! This shit pisses me off. Backlash,
Raven returning to base. Raven returning to base."
I had tried several times on the return trip of raising
Backlash on the radio without success. We passed
through a thunderstorm about halfway there, making
me a little nervous, but I wasn't one for going around
a little weather to get where I was going. If backlash
had another assignment, it would have to wait until
tomorrow, not having a radio to communicate.
It must be the humidity causing my sinuses to stop up.
I was feeling worse than the day before. I sneezed
several times feeling chills over my body.
"Are you okay buddy? You sound like shit," Cal stated.
"Yeah, I think this weather is dragging my butt down."
"Damn, that's an excuse to see Nurse Avery. Do you
want me to take you to the dispensary?" He asked,
teasingly.
Nurse Avery was American, nothing close to being
beautiful by any stretch of the imagination, but she
was the only female American in camp. She wasn't
too much to look at without makeup, but looked
halfway decent when she wore some, with her long
skinny legs and that tight ass. I always noticed that
three-inch spread between her thighs at her cunt.
Her short brown hair was always kinky looking, I
think mostly because of the humidity. I had heard
through the grapevine that she was putting out for
certain officers, and I heard a couple of them
caught the clap from being with her.
It's funny, they say a hard dick has no conscience,
well my dick does have a conscience, and I won't let
him poke around in something that may make him
sick.
We landed and as I went to the dispensary, Cal went
to get avionics to straighten out the problem with the
radio. When I entered, she was sitting at her desk
reading.
"Nurse!" I said, drawing her attention.
"Yes Captain."
"My sinuses are stopped up. Do you have anything to
clear them?"
"I've seen you around. Your Captain Hill, and I have
heard a lot about you."
"All bad I hope."
"Some of it was good," she said, smiling.
"Do you have anything , for my sinuses?"
She walked back behind the shelving and came back
with a bottle. "Take two of these twice a day for a
week and if you're still not feeling better, well then,
you need to see the Doctor."
"Thanks nurse," I said and started to walk out.
"That's Nurse Avery, and Captain, you need to sign
this," she stated. I turned back, signing the receipt.
"If you would like, I could come by later tonight and
check on you," she added, courting a little smile.
"The way I'm feeling, I wouldn't know you were there,"
I replied, excusing myself from the house call. "No
way," I thought.
I stepped out into the rain that was pouring heavy at
this time. I popped two of the pills and not having a
poncho with me, I was soaked immediately, and drenched
by the time I reached my hooch. I removed my clothes
and got under the sheet, unfolded the blanket from the
foot of the bed and pulled it over me, never having
used it and then pulled my mosquito net over the wire
frame. Soon I was sound asleep.
"Wake up Capt'n," Burney said, tugging on my
shoulder. "Sir, it's 0515 hours. Lieutenant Griffin
told me to ask if you were going up this morning."
"I'm up." I said, opening my eyes, seeing the face of
an eighteen-year-old kid that always smiled. "Tell him
I'll be down on the line shortly. Did avionics check
out my radio?" I asked, dragging myself up to sit on
the edge of the bed.
"They replaced it and said everything checked out.
Are you Okay Capt'n?"
"Yeah, I'm fine, Barney," I answered, with a half ass
smile as he exited, shaking his head.
I reached over to the small wooden desk next to my
bunk, grabbed the bottle of medicine, and popped
three of them. I heard rain pounding on the tin roof
of my hooch as I slowly stood and stepped over to
take a flight jumper off the hanger and put it on. I
felt weak but I was determined to go up today.
"Are you going to make it today?" Cal asked as I
reached the flight line.
"I can handle it," I answered, walking around the
chopper, inspecting it. We had our ponchos on with
our hoods pulled over our heads to stay dry but the
bottoms of our legs around the boots were wet.
"Climb in, I've done the preflight and everything
checks out," he urged, sensing my condition.
"Thanks," I said, climbing into the cockpit, and taking
off my poncho.
Cal climbed in and thirty minutes later we were well
en-route for another day of work. We were flying in
sector 804 today, one I had been in months back,
along the Cambodian border, east of the Da Fu River.
This was an area where Charlie was known to be
entering the country time and again, but not spotted
because of his craftiness in covering his tracks. We
flew two and a half hours reaching it.
Our refueling point for the day was twenty kilometers
east of the river, at 'Firebase Beaver', an artillery
compound on top of 'Hill 32', in the middle of
nowhere. It was placed there to guard a large portion
of the border but was sometime ineffective because of
the sneaky way Charlie was entering. He never used
the same route each time, and never moved all the
convoys at once, only small amounts of troops and
supplies here and there.
Reaching the sector, I flew at 7,000 feet, flying a
little recon, trying to spot an obvious point that
Charlie could cross the Da Fu River that divided the
two countries. At this altitude, trails and roads were
obvious, if you knew what to look for.
I spotted what looked like tire ruts just on the other
side of the border. We weren't authorized to enter
Cambodia however I figured a quick look, in and out,
would go unnoticed. Swooping down to 150 feet, I
skimmed the treetops and then banked, following the
river for about two miles until I was near the area I
had spotted the tracks, and then turned west crossing
into the forbidden zone.
I crossed over the exact spot, finding what looked like
tire ruts recently made. I figured these were made
within the last three hours, not having time to fill
with rainwater. Quickly rolling, I turned and headed
back across the river, guesstimating where I might find
signs where they had entered.
"Spot anything Cal?" I asked, searching left to right.
"Look at two o'clock. That area of trees looks as if
they have been recently uprooted. Over there, along
the river bank," he replied, pointing.
"I see it. Let's have a look!" I stated, turning
south in that direction. I low leveled along the
river, about twenty feet. Bang! Bang! Bang! I heard
the sound of machine-gun fire. Reactively, I climbed
and banked; turning back toward the gunfire as Cal
instinctively began spraying the area with fire from
the Minigun. It was raining lightly, but not enough to
keep us from seeing tracer rounds. That gave us a fix
on their position and I circled around once more,
coming in from a thousand feet, allowing him to get off
a few rockets.
Experience dictated there was no more than a squad
from the gunfire we received. After the two passes, I
knew we had taken them out, however there would
not be a body count this incident. We were in an
area scarcely patrolled by our troops and within
hours, the bodies would be removed, hiding all traces
that a firefight had taken place. Along this area of the
river was a primary source for entering the country
and the VC would cover all their tracks if possible.
"Backlash, Raven."
"Raven, this is Backlash."
"Backlash, Raven, I have unconfirmed kills at 8513,
3131, do you copy?"
"Raven, backlash, unconfirmed kills at 8513, 3131,
copy. What's the estimate Raven?"
"Backlash, Raven, I have eight unconfirmed."
"Raven, backlash, eight unconfirmed, copy that."
"Backlash, Raven, continuing recon."
"Raven, Backlash, copy."
I climbed to 5,000 feet and cruised, viewing the area,
and spotting a CH-47 transport chopper up at about
eleven o'clock. I moved in close enough to recognize
the tail number.
"055, this is Raven. Where are you headed buddy?"
"Raven! Where the hell you been? I haven't seen your
ass in six months."
"I've been busy, hunting Charlie. Where ya headed?"
"Dropping troops at Firebase Beaver."
"Need an escort? I want to top off my fuel tank."
"Wouldn't hurt, I took fire three times last week
coming off that damn hill. It seems Charlie doesn't
want to give up trying to take that Firebase."
"It may not be long before he makes a big push to
overrun it. A while ago, I caught a handful crossing
the Da Fu River and that may only be the tip of the
iceberg," I said, flying up beside them.
"You're getting short, aren't you Raven." 055 asked.
"Less than two months!" I replied, excitedly.
"What are you going to do then?"
"I'm taking an early out after the two tours, and
then going back to civilian life."
"Going back to that girl of yours?"
"Na, she couldn't handle my second tour. She went
on to greener pastures."
"Sorry about that Raven. She'll change her mind
when she sees you."
"It's too late for that. I've forgotten all about
her."
"Firebase Beaver, this is 055 approaching with an
escort from the east at three clicks out."
"We have you in sight 055, land on the southeast side
at the green smoke."
"Roger, on the green smoke."
He landed and dropped of the troops and pulled out,
waving as he went by.
"Thanks Raven, we'll see you again."
"You too, good luck 055, Raven out."
I shut down near the fuel truck, and we got out
stretching our legs. I saw that they might be
expecting another fight with Charlie because they were
scurrying to fill sandbags. The barbed wire was
doubled around the perimeter and a couple of men
were putting out extra claymores (mines) for added
security. I had seen this many times and usually it was
for good reason.
"Cal, I'm going to see if there is a hot meal in the
mess hall. I'll be back in a minute," I stated,
walking toward the bunker.
"I'll get the tanks topped off," he replied.
"What do you have on the stove guys?" I asked,
entering the bunker.
"Hot c-rations Captain," one of the men answered.
"Damn, I thought you guys had it better than that! I
was expecting you to have a couple of extra steaks on
the grill," I said, jokingly.
"We had that yesterday," he replied, smiling. "But
you're welcome to a hot can of eggs and ham."
"Maybe next time," I said, walking out.
The tanks were topped off, Cal was setting in the
gunship eating spaghetti, and meatballs from a SP-Pack
one of the men had given him. He handed me a bag
but I suddenly felt sick, refusing it. I tried not letting
it show but he noticed and didn't say anything. I
climbed in and buckled up, starting the engine.
"Firebase Beaver, Raven ready for departure, thanks for
the fuel."
"You're welcome Raven. You're cleared."
We lifted off, heading east and climbing to 7,000 feet,
just above the roof of the clouds. The ceiling was
varying in this hilly terrain, from nothing to 300 feet
in lower valleys so I stayed on top for now. We flew
for another two hours in a zigzag pattern over our
area, waiting for a call and flying reconnaissance.
"Raven, Backlash."
"Backlash, Raven."
"Raven, we have Charlie on the grid at 9702, 3148.
Possible sighting by an Air Force fighter on passover,
do a recon and report, do you copy?"
I copy Backlash, possible sighting at 9702, 3148,
verify and report."
"That is affirmative Raven, Backlash out.
I checked on the map and it was about sixty miles
north from where we were earlier this morning on
the Cambodian border.
"I heard the orders too Raven, recon and report!" Cal
stated, over the headset.
"What!"
"Don't do anything until we report in." He continued.
"Who me?"
We continued on that heading until we came within 5
clicks of the designated area.
"Cal, it seems we have a little smoke in our avionics."
I said, waiting for his reply.
"Cal, do you copy me up there?" I said again, and then
tapped him on the helmet. He turned, looking at me,
shrugging his shoulders, smelling and noticing the
smoke.
"Turn to base!" He shouted, pointing south.
I took his advice and turned south toward base. The
smoke was getting thicker so I opened my vent, allowing
some of the smoke to be sucked out. I tried several
times raising base but to no avail. I saw the smoke
coming from the opposite side from the radio, probably
from the wiring harness, letting me know that the radio
was never the problem. I was traveling at 160 kph,
keeping the Da Fu River to my right, now that most of
my instruments were on the blink. I had maintained an
altitude of 5,000 feet in case of an engine failure,
giving me time to search for a spot to land.
Suddenly, the engine light began flashing, sounding an
alarm. I knew it was time to find that spot. I turned
the ear piercing alarm off, allowing me to think more
clearly. I had practiced auto-rotating many times, but
never actually landing, knowing the landing could be
rough, even fatal. I knew I was about to lose the
engine so my mind raced; thinking of the most obvious
place to land that could be spotted by our own
choppers.
Then it happened. The engine failed and I
immediately set the pitch on the blades and began
auto-rotating. I was dropping at a fast rate, but
maintaining control. I quickly decided to land at the
river's edge, in the trees, but not far enough in that I
couldn't be spotted by our own people.
I dropped through an opening in the clouds, the
controls were heavy, but I managed to steer in the
direction I wanted. I had about forty-five seconds to
get positioned along the river, finally picking my
spot. I fought with both hands maintaining control,
managing until the very last second, and then pulled on
the pitch trying to stall out. It banked, turning over
slightly and we plunged into the trees at such force
the blades smashed the trees, blades and branches
flying in every direction. I felt death as we plunged
deeper, crashing into a large tree trunk, knocking me
semi-conscious, finally coming to rest, about fifteen
feet above the ground. I remained dazed for some
time, and then realizing what had happened.
"Cal!" I grunted, feeling as if the breath was knocked
out of me.
"Cal, are you okay? Cal, Cal!" I shouted as loud as I
could manage, but received no response. I leaned
forward putting my hand on his neck and felt
something protruding from the side of it. I tried turning
his head, then leaned forward and saw a limb had
pierced through the metal frame and was lodged
through his neck.
Each second brought excruciating pain as I struggled to
free myself from the harness restraining me. I could
only use my right arm; it was too painful using the
other. The Plexiglas windshield had been ripped out,
allowing the rain to come in, soaking me. I nudged my
body around enough to release the harness and I
dropped, jamming me to the down side of the aircraft,
perched on its side. I knew I could wriggle my way out
but the fifteen feet I would have to fall worried me.
I reached under the right side of my seat pulling the
emergency pack from underneath it and let it fall to
the ground, knowing I would have to jump sooner or
later, later sounded better but maybe not the wisest.
A puddle of water lay below me, meaning there was mud
that might make for a softer landing. I was becoming
faint, thinking I might die if I remained lodged in the
aircraft.
I pulled myself to the edge of the opening where the
Plexiglas once was, grabbed the rim just above me, and
worked my lower body until I was ready to drop my
feet and let go. Letting my feet slip, I released myself,
falling feet first into the puddle, crushing my whole
body into the ground. I lay still for a few minutes,
recovering from the pain caused from the jump that
jolted my body, knocking the breath out of me. Then
trying, but unable to move, I felt myself slipping into
darkness.
\b Week 2-Day1!\b0
I awoke, but couldn't tell when or how long afterwards,
all I saw was darkness and just that quick I passed out
again. Again, unaware of time or how long I had been
here, my eyes opened, my face felt rain splashing
against it, and my body was cold, I was feverish, and
darkness came over me again.
\cf1\i Cal and I were throwing the football, just having eaten
chow. He and I were the same height at six foot, he at
one seventy and I was one eighty-five. During high
school, he played defensive end where he attended
Carter High school in Daton, Illinois, and I
quarterbacked, at Shelby High in Belton, South
Carolina.
"Go long!" I shouted.
He split left and took off down the center of the
company compound. He had gone about thirty yards
and looked back while on a dead run, the ball fell right
into his hands as he reached up, ran five more yards
and spiked the ball.
Walking back he commented, "That was a perfect
catch."
"Bullshit, that was a perfect throw," I countered him.
"You never give an inch, do you?" He stated, with a
big grin.
I looked at him with a similar expression, "Never."
Reaching in his back pocket, he pulled out his
billfold, "I want to show you something. What do you
think, does she look like me?" He asked, excitedly,
showing me a picture of his wife and six month old
daughter.
"Na, she looks more like your daughter," I joked.
"Asshole, you know what I meant," he said, throwing
his elbow into my side.
"She's got your wife's black hair."
"Like mine."
"Your wife's beautiful complexion."
"Like mine," he remarked. I quickly gave him an odd
look, and examined the photo further.
"Beautiful dark eyes like her mother."
"And, like mine."
"Her nose is a little crooked."
"Hey, quit making fun of my nose. If I had played
quarterback instead of defensive end, it wouldn't be
crooked.
"She's beautiful Cal."
"Thanks Brian."
"I was talking about Cynthia!"
"Asshole! He shot back quickly and then seemed to fall
into a light trance. "God I love that girl. When I
get home, we're going to start working on three more.
That's how many we both want. Can you see me
walking around the house with four rug rats hanging
onto my legs?"\cf0\i0
I heard a voice but couldn't open my eyes to see who
it might be. Maybe I was being rescued, but it felt as
if I was being dragged. I saw a glimmer of a person's
silhouette, blocking the sun from my face. A young
beautiful girl, maybe an Angel, I thought, hearing the
voice of a girl speaking a language I couldn't
understand. I passed out again.
I heard that voice again, however, I felt warmer than
before, and my sense of smell was playing tricks,
smelling the musky odor of my Grand parents
basement, and then in the next moment the sweet
scent of a woman's body permeated my nostrils.
My sight was blurred as they squinted open, only
enough to see an angel lying next to me. I felt the
warmth of its body pressing to mine, comforting
me, but then fading away.
Each time I awoke, it was as if years passed, with the
pain never leaving. My eyes played tricks on me, with
the face of the angel changing each time I saw her, but
the warmth remained the same and the more aware I
became, I felt the gentle caressing of my naked body.
This time when my eyes opened, the angels face had
changed, and the face of an elderly angel appeared.
The look was mature however not hard or cold, but
one of caring. Somehow, I managed a smile and she
returned it with a warm tender smile, pressing her
palm to my forehead as she did. Just that quick, my
eyes closed, sending my mind back into a restless state,
my whole world now spinning out of control. This
continued what seemed an eternity.
\cf1\i "Brian, have you seen this morning paper?" Mother
asked as I ran down the stairway into the kitchen.
"Nobody reads that rag mother," I replied, sitting down
in front of a bowl of Cheerios. Since I can remember,
mother had always placed a bowl of Cheerios for me
on the breakfast table. I poured milk over the top and
started crunching.
"Carter High School Wins First State Title." "Carter
High School for its first time ever goes 13-0, winning
the state title in the AAAA Division. With four
seconds remaining, down 21-17, Carter's all time
leading passer, Brian Hill, throws a sixty yard
touchdown pass to receiver William Donovan to take
the state title."
"Really, I thought we were at that game last night,
mother," I said, jokingly.
"Got anything special planned today?"
"Let's see, the Malibu needs new brake pads .Oh,
Mom, Ricks' coming over to help me and he's bringing
Hannah with him .
"There's plenty of bread and chips in the cupboard, the
ham and cola's in the refrigerator. I swear, that boy
eats more than any child I know."
"That two hundred forty pound child saved my butt
last night, Mom. You saw it, that number 67 had me,
and Rick came out of nowhere and laid him out. Let
me know if you read that in that rag."
"Is he coming over for breakfast?"
"No, they'll be here in about an hour, why?"
"I don't have but one pound of bacon in the frig."
"You just wait mom, I'm going to tell him you said
that," I remarked, laughing.
Continuing to wash dishes, she looked at me with a
smile, knowing Rick thought of her as his second mom,
and was always joking with him about his eating.
I'll be back shortly. I've got to go to the parts
house and pick up the pads. If they get here before I
get back, just give him a sandwich or something to
keep him occupied," I joked.
When I pulled back up in the driveway, Rick's car was
here. I walked in the side door and into the kitchen
and there they were, sitting at the table. Rick was
eating a bologna sandwich, Hanna was sitting next to
him, talking to mother and on the other side of the
table was the most beautiful girl I have ever seen.
"Hi Brian," Hannah said. Rick couldn't say anything
because his mouth was full, but he did hold up his
hand.
"Hello," I replied, but kept my eyes on the golden
blonde, revealing her perfect teeth.
"Oh, Brian, this is Carol Baker, my new next door
neighbor. Carol, this is Brian," Hannah said,
introducing us.
"Hello," I said, putting the box of brake pads on the
counter, not taking my eyes off of her.
"Hello Brian," she replied, with our eyes locked.
"She's the one I told you about, remember," Rick
stated.
"No, I don't remember you saying anything about her."
"Sure I did."
"No, you said her next door neighbor was just cute," I
teased, embarrassing her, as Rick and Hannah
laughed.
"I went with Hannah to your game last night! You had
us so nervous until that last play," Carol said, bringing
my heart rate up a notch.
In a later discussion, we admitted to one another
that, in less than five minutes, we had fallen in love.
Before that championship game, I probably could
have had my pick of any girl, after that game, they
were throwing themselves at me. However, there was
Carol, sitting at my kitchen table with eyes so blue, the
quintessence of class, with her golden blonde hair, not
quite to her shoulders, curled under, displaying her
beautiful white teeth through bright red lips.
It wasn't until June 14, seven months later that we
missed our first day of being with one another. I
moved in a dorm at Georgia Tech and she began
Harvard Medical School.
\cf0\i0
\b Week 3-Day 2-My Recovery!\b0
I awoke, opening my eyes, seeing one of the beautiful
angels I had envisioned while in my delirious state of
mind. I felt no pain, no dizziness, and my vision was
normal once again. I looked about the very small,
shadowy, cubical that I was housed. The dim flame
of a candle was all the light used, and all the light
necessary to see that I was in some sort of a makeshift
box, and the musky odor of dampness remained
pungent to my sense of smell.
"Who are you?" I asked the angel.
I received no answer but was accorded a beautiful
smile, as if she was happy that I was here.
"Do you have a name?" I asked again, receiving an
even larger smile.
I coughed, bringing a different expression to her face,
one of concern. Immediately, she leaned forward,
sliding under the tattered blanket with me, placing her
arms over my body, and pulling herself against me. I
then recognized that scent of the woman I had smelled
previously. Feeling nervous, I wondered what was I to
do now. What if Papasan were to enter, catching us
lying together? I dosed off again.
Gunfire! I thought, awakening. I heard gunfire in the
distance. I jumped up, searching for something to
cover myself, having nothing on. There was no light as
I fumbled around, searching the small cubical for a
source of light and finding none. Crawling on all
fours, I found my way to a narrow crack, allowing a
small amount of light to creep through. I pressed
against the wooden slates, forcing a small door to fall
forward. The light was blinding as I covered my face
with my hands. Incrementally, I moved my palms,
allowing my eyes to adjust to the sensitive rays,
finally able to remove my hands completely. I was in
the jungle, filled with green foliage, the sound of
running water rumbled in the distance.
What was that? I asked myself. It was the
unmistakable sound of gunfire, I concluded. I crawled
out of the small hole and stood in the nude, looking
about for some sign of human life. I also imagined
hearing faint sounds of someone screaming, but
remained unsure.
Leaving the small camouflaged door lying forward, I
crawled back into the cubical and searched for anything
to cover my nakedness, finding only the tattered
blanket that had covered me. I wrapped myself in it
instinctively to cover myself. I sat waiting for the
angel to reappear, and waited for hours until I heard
the rustling of leaves draw closer. I peered out,
seeing a young, smiling Vietnamese girl approach and I
lay back against the dirt wall, waiting for her to
enter. As she slithered in, her demeanour changed to
one of a vicious serpent, as she began saying things to
me in a way that I felt as if she were scolding me. I
didn't understand until she began pointing at the door.
I realized then that she was angry because I had left
the door open.
"Okay, okay," I said, holding my arms out, waving
them, to suppress her scolding. She got one last word
in as she pointed her finger in my face. I hadn't felt
that low since my mother scolded me for using bleach
while washing colored clothes. Of course, they all
ended up with white spots on them. She immediately
calmed down, assuming her angelic appearance, and
said something in Vietnamese. I didn't understand any
of the Vietnamese language except for the few foul
words commonly used between GI's.
I knew she couldn't understand me either so I thought
to make it into a game.
"Are you an angel? Did you know you appeared to
me with four different faces?" I asked. She looked
curiously at me with those beautiful dark eyes. Her
face was one of perfection with silky black hair
flowing over her shoulders, reaching to her waist.
She fell forward on her knees before me, placing her
warm hands to my cheeks checking my fever. I looked
into her eyes, bringing a smile of shyness to her face.
I smiled in return, wanting to kiss her, but held back
afraid of losing the trust she seemed to have. Her
hands slid over my body, checking my condition to
see if I remained feverish.
She spoke again and smiled, putting her hand to my
cheek and along my side. I thought I understood what
she meant, that I was getting well.
There was warmth about her that seemed to cradle me.
Her eyes returned to my face, stopped, and stared, as
was mine. I was intact, having recovered all my
faculties, but somehow I felt beside myself, absent
from all that had guided my course to this moment.
Her smile was soft with caring eyes and in this brief
moment, I felt different.
"You are an angel and I want to kiss you." I said,
inching my face slowly toward hers. She remained
motionless as I felt her breath against my face. I
held my lips within a fraction of hers, testing her,
wanting to know if it would be acceptable to her if I
was to kiss her. Her face seemed empty of expression,
causing me to wonder if she was aware of what I
wanted to do. I placed the tips of my fingers to her
lips and cheek caressing them and her face
responding to my touch by slightly turning to it.
Seeing this, I lightly press my lips to hers, causing her
to pull back and take a deep breath. A second passed,
and again, I pressed our lips together, but now placing
my hand behind her neck, holding us gently together.
After a brief moment we pulled apart, our breathing
was sporadic. Nervously, with closed eyes, she smiled
and leaned her face toward me, slightly puckering her
lips. Irresistible to her, I gently kissed her again, this
time, placing my tongue lightly to her lips, gliding it
over them. She flinched at my touch, but didn't
resist. I gently pressed it between hers, prying them
apart, hesitantly at first she held rigid, and then
relaxed allowing me to penetrate her mouth touching
her teeth.
From the void expression on her face and her
reactions, I sensed she had never been kissed in this
way. As I felt more as ease, I searched her mouth
finding her tongue and sucked it until I had it in my
mouth. She placed her hands to the sides of my face,
now holding me to her and lunged her tongue into
my mouth searching for my tongue as I began playing
and hid it from her.
She grunted, while lapping inside my mouth to find it,
and then giving in to her I allowed her to catch it as
she now sucked mine, drawing it into her mouth.
The sound of leaves ruffling caught our attention,
causing us to hold still and listen as the sound came
closer each second. The door opened, brightly lighting
up the cubical until it was closed. A match was lit to
light the candle and I saw one of the other angels
looking at me with a smile on her face.
They began speaking to one another in Vietnamese.
The one that came in first began explaining something
to the other one and when she pointed to the door, I
realized she was telling her that I had left the door
open.
Their tone changed and as they talked, each of them
began giggling and looking at me. I shrugged as if to
say, 'Don't pay me any attention'. After a moment of
continuous giggling, the one that had just came in
moved in front of me, perching herself on her knees
and leaned forward, puckering her lips. I then
realized what their discussion was about.
I was going to be just as gentle and careful with this
one as the other. However, I burst out laughing,
seeing the expression on her face, with her lips
puckered, waiting for me to kiss her. I looked at the
first one and she made a gesture to me, signaling me
to go ahead, show her. I turned my attention back
and looked into her soft dark eyes. In her own right,
she was as beautiful as the other, having her own
beautiful features, but her hair, a shade lighter, a tint
of brown, also flowed to her waist.
I leaned over, softly kissing her, and immediately she
put her tongue to my lips. I quickly moved my head
back, avoiding her tongue and placed a finger on her
lips to let her know to slow down. Again, I moved
forward, kissing her softly for a few moments and then
I pressed my tongue to her lips, sliding it lengthwise.
When I saw she was being patient, I pressed it deeper
into her mouth, but then, I took her by the wrist and
placed them around my neck, holding them there for a
few seconds before releasing them.
I placed my hands to the back of her neck, caressing
her as I began sucking her tongue into my mouth. On
cue, she slowly slipped her tongue into my mouth and
began searching my mouth. As I did previously, I
pulled my tongue away toying with her. She played
along for a moment and then bit my lip, being angry
that I held it from her too long. I jerked back
laughing as she tried pulling our mouths together
again. I was not as stupid this time, letting her find
my tongue quickly.
The first one, who appeared a little older, maybe
nineteen, put her hands between us to pry us apart.
She then pushed the other one away seeming jealous and
wanting another turn. I smiled, obliging her but this
time gently kissing her neck and up to her ear, causing
her to giggle and squirm.
The one behind tapped the one I was with on the
shoulder and said something to her. They began talking
to one another again and the one I was kissing said
something to me, pointing outside. I understood that
she was telling me they had to leave. I shook my head
yes, indicating I understood.
"Hey, where are my clothes?" I asked, shaking the
blanket and then reaching to her and pinching her
black silky blouse, shaking it. "My clothes," I repeated,
making hand gestures. By her own hand gestures, I
understood her to mean that she would bring them
when she came back.
They both turned and headed toward the door but the
second one stopped in front of me and tried kissing me,
I let her. She smiled and crawled out leaving me alone
for I didn't know how long.
After a while, I became curious, and moved to the small
door, with no hinges and cracked it open, peering out
to see the sunlight. I sat for hours waiting for their
return, but then it began to darken outside. I assumed
then that it would be tomorrow before any of them
returned.
Suddenly I began to wonder what was happening to me. I
felt ashamed of my feelings. Why was I feeling anxious
for her return, it wasn't sitting right with my normal
thinking. I felt a battle begin to rage within my mind
between what I was feeling now and what I was supposed
to feel. What was it within me that I could now want
something I had despised for so long? She was nothing
to me and soon I would be home, away from all of this.
I crawled over and lay on the crate, designed as a bed
and fell asleep.
\cf1\i My mind and body were pulsating as Carol and I sat in the
parking lot of the Best Western Motel on Highway 32
at 8:15 pm, Sunday night. The night before we left to
begin at different schools. Less than an hour ago, we
were kissing outside of Dyers Cafeteria, a local diner,
wondering how we were going to spend our last
evening together, for a while. Jokingly I said, "At the
Best Western," and she quickly responded, "That's
sounds good to me, and after a few minutes of
passionate kissing, I drove us here. I kissed her,
got out of the car and returned in about ten minutes
with a key to our room.
I drove around to Room 176 and parked, sitting for a
moment, contemplating my first move. I got out of the
car and walked around, opening her door. As I had
seen on TV many times of movie starlets, wearing
miniskirts, Carol opened her legs getting out of the car,
giving me a view that was impregnated into my mind
forever. Her skirt had already slid up nearly to her
pelvic area and all I saw was panties, and a gentle smile
from her.
I took her hand, and we walked to the door and stood
as I fumbled getting the key to open the door. She
seemed calm but my stomach was in knots, never
having been with a girl in this way. Finally, unlocking
the door, I took her hand and we stepped in. I turned
the light on in the room, as we looked around, smiled,
agreeing that it met with our approval. She walked
forward to the end of the bed, still holding my hand
and we embraced, kissing for several minutes.
I reached up and began unbuttoning her blouse and
she began unbuttoning my shirt. Within two minutes,
we were standing nude, embracing with our mouths
locked. I had no romantic fantasies other than kissing
and doing it. I stepped back and gazed upon her
breasts, placing my hands over them, almost
concealing them, and feeling her nipples pressing
firmly against my palms and lowered them down her
body feeling one of a goddess, perfectly formed with
every curve having the softness of velvet.
I took her hand and walked to the side of the bed,
pulling the blanket and sheet down, and then getting in
at the same time. She lay on her back as I lay on my
side with, and arm and a leg over her and my hard prick
against her side. We kissed as my hand roamed her
body, feeling parts of her I had only dreamed of. I
pulled myself from her lips and looked at her breasts
as I gently caressed them. This was my first time
looking at breasts other than in magazines. My heart
was pounding so fast my face felt flush.
Slowly I moved my hand down until it reached her
pubic hair that matched the color on her head. It was
the most awesome sight I had ever beheld. My hand
instinctively moved over it and my finger began
creeping inside her slit until it found the tight hole it
searched for.
After I had fingered her for a minute, I moved over her
and was about to thrust it in when she stopped me.
"Brian," she spoke softly, seeming embarrassed. "Be
gentle with me."
I hesitated from ramming it in and slowly forced it in,
feeling her tightness, understanding why she said that.
Her face squinched and she moaned as the head
entered.
"Wait Brian, you're too big, please be more gentle."
"I hesitated another second and began forcing it in,
hearing her whimpering. I couldn't stop now; I thrust
it in bumping her cervix; causing a light scream from
her.
"Damn, you're an animal!" Her remark was
spontaneous and her hands quickly covered her face
when she realized her words.
I held my prick deep into her and stopped. "I'm sorry,
I couldn't help myself," I said feeling ashamed.
Her head was slightly turned as she whimpered, biting
down on her finger, enduring the pain. I held still,
waiting for her to recover or say something. Her body
relaxed and she turned facing me seeming to be all
right, but I held back, looking for another sign
assuring me that she was okay.
She looked at the expression on my face and began
giggling.
"You look like a scared little boy."
I wasn't concerned now; my conscience was cleared by
that smile and those words. I began pushing slowly,
changing her smile to one of mild shock, and then
suddenly changing to one of fulfillment. I was allured
to her hard breasts, barely stirring and lowered my
mouth until I had her right one in my mouth, and
sucked it profusely. She pulled my head, pressing my
mouth firmly to her while uttering sounds of pleasure,
stirring sensations within me. I continued thrusting
until my mind and body became rigid, and the feeling
of bliss began shooting throughout my body, beyond
my imagination. Afterwards, as we lay prone, I
envisioned us together forever.
\cf0\i0
I awoke hearing the door being removed and looked
up and didn't see light from outside. The elder of the
three young ones had returned with a candle and lit it.
She brought a bag, handing it to me. I smiled at her,
opened it, pulling out my flight-suit, my 38-pistol
with holster along with my boots, watch, and the
emergency pack I had dropped from the gunship. I
leaned over, kissed her on the cheek, and said, "Thank
you."
I looked at my watch and it was running. I turned it
toward the light, viewing it and read 2306 hours.
"What are you doing out this late?" I asked, knowing
she didn't understand. She replied but I didn't
understand her either.
I rummaged through the emergency bag, finding a hunting
knife, needle nose pliers with side cutters, a
flashlight that was so dim, it was useless, a box of
waterproof matches, assorted fishhooks, a bar of soap,
five packs of dried food, insect repellent sticks,
water purification pills and a compass. I turned the
flashlight on, aiming it around the cubical, testing it
again, but unable to see anything clearly.
I took the candle and held it up to her face, she was
not pure Vietnamese, but had what looked like American
blood in her. I calculated her age and determined that
she had French blood, because during the time of her
birth France occupied this region. I knew this was bad
for her because mixed blood was considered bad, to the
point they were exiled from the mainstream population.
She watched with curiosity as I tinkered with all the
things in the bag she brought in. I looked at her and
smiled, thanking her again. She threw me a quick smile
and spoke; however, I still didn't understand.
"Shouldn't you be getting back to your village?" I
asked, pointing toward the door. She shrugged her
shoulders, seeming to understand what I was saying.
"It's eleven o'clock, do your parents know where you
are?" I asked, jokingly. Again, she shrugged her
shoulders, smiling in return. "I guess not." I said,
and wondered about her family.
I put all the things back in the small pack and snapped
it closed. I noticed she was watching my every move,
affecting the way I was beginning to look at her. We
looked at one another, staring, causing me to wonder
if she was thinking to stay with me tonight. The
thought of that began to arouse me, changing my
heart rate. I knew if I kissed her, she would like that
but could I take it further, if I was to touch her, would
that go beyond the bounds of trust?
Suddenly, again, my mind thought of home, my
mother, my family, my friends, and even those I
worked with here, in this country. What would they
think of me, desiring a Vietnamese girl, a half-breed at
that? I would be ostracized as she probably is. My
upbringing was such that something such as this
wouldn't be allowed. I would be looked down upon
and snickered at in dark corners. My friends would
speak to me but in their thoughts, I would be less than
them.
The hate I had carried in my heart for these people
was balancing on this one girl. However, who would
know? I was here alone, with no one to judge me,
whatever I did would remain here if I was able to
return to civilization.
My attention returned to her. "What is your name?
Brian," I said, placing my hand on my chest. "Name?"
I asked pointing at her and then back toward me.
"Brian," I said again, pointing to myself.
"Lin Le," she spoke, placing her hands on her chest.
"Lin Le, Brian," I said, pointing at her then me.
"Brine," she said, as if asking.
"Bri-an, Brian," I repeated.
"Brian."
"That's right, Brian. Lin," I said excitedly, leaning
over and hugging her.
When I sat back, she looked at me, puckering her lips.
I smiled and said, "Kiss! Say it, Kiss!"
"Kiss," she said, curiously.
I leaned over and kissed her on the lips. "Kiss," I
said again.
She smiled and said, "Kiss!" She then leaned over and
kissed me on the lips. I smiled shaking my head yes.
She was on her knees before me with her hands
clasped between her legs. We stared into the others
eyes; the dim light from the candle cast a shadow to
the right side of her face, allowing me to see only half
of her face and half of a smile. I reached to her,
taking the top tie on her blouse and began untying it.
The smile remained in her face as I lowered my fingers
down, undoing each until I had them all untied. She
remained motionless, allowing me to pull it back over
her shoulders, and then she positioned her arms to
where I slid it down her back and off. Her breasts
were small, perfectly round and full; her nipples were
tiny, encircled by a dark, nickel size areola.
She raised her body until she stood on her feet,
leaning forward because of the height of the ceiling,
but looking down at me. She loosened the drawstring
on her black silk pants, letting them fall to the floor
and stepped out of them. Her dark patch of hair
stood out against her cream-colored skin. I removed
the blanket covering the lower part of my body and
reached out, taking both of her hands and laid back,
pulling her on top of me.
It had been two years since feeling a woman's body
next to mine. Her smooth and warm skin felt like
heaven. My hands roamed her back, up and down,
touching every part of her I could reach. Her tiny,
perfectly shaped ass felt like none I had ever touched
before, sending a feeling through my body that I had
forgotten existed.
I wanted her now, this second. I turned us until I was
over her and between her legs. I reached down,
cupping her pelvic area in my hand, and then pressing
my middle finger into her slit and pressing it further
into her vagina. This caused my hard-on to ache and
throb. Her juices lubricated my finger and I rubbed it
around, moistening the area and then taking my prick
in my hand, sliding it in, forcing it in all the way. I held
myself up with my left hand as I took her breasts and
kneaded each one of them.
Slowly, as I moved my prick in and out of her I leaned
over and kissed her, pressing my tongue into her
mouth. Just as I was doing, her tongue lashed back,
forcing its way into my mouth, lapping my tongue. Our
saliva smeared over our mouths as our passion
heightened. I began thrusting feverishly, continuing as
we sucked each other's tongue. I felt the excitement
building in my body; the sensation in my prick was
overwhelming as I pushed faster. All at once, my
body swelled as the sensation overcame me,
repeatedly the sensations exploded within my body
as my mind was numbed in ecstasy, until finally
subsiding. I lay turned on my side with my hand
cupping her right breast, panting heavily, collecting
my mind and strength. She lay silent, apparently
thinking, of what, I didn't know.
After a few minutes, my mind had turned to planning
what I was going to do about getting back to base.
While I was scouting around tomorrow, I would see
what kinds of weapons, along with provisions I could
come up with for the journey. I wanted to go back to
the gunship, get Cal's body down, get his dog tags and
bury him, not knowing for sure how long he had been
up there.
\b Week 3-Day 3\b0
I awoke before dawn and found Lin gone. I wasn't
surprised, maybe a little disappointed, but I knew she
had to return to her village. I put my flight suit on
but left the top half at my waist, and then put my
boots on. I crawled out and carefully walked a few
yards and urinated. Afterwards I realized I should
have gone further out, not wanting to leave any odors
that close to where I was hiding. The moon was out but
blocked mostly by the clouds. Carefully I walked back
and crawled into the cubical pulling the door closed
behind me. It was pitch black so I lit the candle to
see, knowing I couldn't go back to sleep. Looking at
my watch it was 0448 hours.