Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience. >Disclaimer: This story and others from this author should only be enjoyed in a responsible manner. If you find yourself wanting to enact anything in these stories, or feel that you might develop a fetish, please do not read any further. Sex addiction is a very real problem, and the author does not wish to encourage this kind of behavior Worshipping God (chapter 2) Edward completed his half hour workout in the comfort and solitude of his inn room, and felt the day -(TM)s stress melt away. As the sun dipped below the horizon, Edward devoted the rest of his waking time to Chirrus, reciting motivational poems and sacred verses from the Order -(TM)s holy writings. Having spent most of the day in the company of his fellow Brothers, reciting Addersfield -(TM)s laws and going over scenarios where it would be used, Edward was confident, albeit nervous, about the next day. He knew that the five years of his training was all leading to this point, where he could finally bring his Order -(TM)s message of equality and justice to the people. Upon self-reflection, Edward knew that there was another reason for him to be nervous- he needed to prove his standing to his fellow worshippers, as well as himself. Whatever he did or said for the next couple weeks was going to be known at House Righteous, good or bad. _Calm down, Edward. Just take it one step at a time, and work through everything like you were taught._ Edward sat on his bed, and prayed for strength_Fair Chirrus, hear me now, and grant me your wisdom and strength to do what must be done. Give me the ability to know right from wrong, and to bring your justice to these people. Give all of the Brothers your guidance, that we may shine your light on the hidden deeds of those who oppose fairness and truth, and make all our judgements in line with yours. Amen_ Lying down in bed, Edward felt a calm that brought a fast sleep -- ----- Edward woke up with a start, and quickly checked himself_No wet dream this time,_ he pleasantly realized. He instantly calmed down, and looked out the window to see the light of the early sun illuminating the town. It was a little chilly, but the excitement of the day -(TM)s possibilities were motivating enough for him to jump out of bed and prepare himself for breakfast. Coming down the stairs, he saw that Amos was already enjoying some meat and eggs. -I -(TM)ll have the same - he said to the bartender, who nodded and walked back to the kitchen. -Good morning Edward - Amos said, looking up. -Good morning, Amos - Edward replied, pleasantly. -How did you sleep last night? - the older Brother asked. -Quite well, and you? - Edward replied, smiling. -Oh, not as well as you, it appears - he said, returning to his food. -You know - he said, chewing on a piece of pork chop, -most Brothers are nervous their first real day of a mission. Chirrus appears to have blessed you with his peace this morning. - Edward nodded, -Yes, he has. I am his humble servant, and I look forward to serving this town, as well. - -You won -(TM)t always feel that way, Brother - Amos warned. -At some point, and it may come soon, it will feel more like work. It will feel like everyone is against you, and you will wonder why you chose this life. You will ask questions that will test your faith. It happens to everyone. - -And how did you come through it? - Edward asked. Amos only thought about it briefly before answering, -compassion. - Amos took another bite, and chewed on the meat -Compassion for your fellow man. As long as you have empathy for others, you will find satisfaction in your work. That is what makes our sacrifice sustainable. - _Very wise,_ Edward thought. -Your Brothers should be down shortly. My plan is operate in pairs, so that we can look out for each other out there. This place can be dangerous, and some will not welcome us. - -Shall I don my chain today? - Edward asked. -Not quite yet. That may come later. But do bring your staff, however. A Brother on outreach should always have a means of protecting themselves from those who resist their due sentencing. - Edward was glad for the news- he was as skilled with the bo staff as nearly any at the temple. After Jethros and Laramis joined them, it was decided that Laramis and Edward would set out through the inner district of Addersfield, while Amos and Jethros would explore the poorer neighborhoods. Each Brother was warned against interfering with the Town Guard, and encouraged to give only warnings for the first day they were here. So Laramis and Edward wished their companions farewell, and set off on a slow tour of the inner town, taking in the sights. They walked side by side in their grey robes, silver weighing scales figured prominently on their chests. Edward nodded to everyone he made eye contact with, which was pretty much everyone. He wasn -(TM)t sure if it was their appearance, or his demeanor that brought them so much attention. -Hello - he said to a couple of merchants on the street. _It feels great to be out with the people!_ -Excuse me, sir - Laramis said loudly. Edward saw that he was talking to a man on the side of the street. -Ah, yes sir. Care for an exotic aroma? - he responded, picking up one of the colored glass bottles on his table. -No thank you. My name is Laramis, and this is Edward. We are Brothers of the Chirrus order, and are tasked with upholding the law as best we can -- - Laramis said, giving the street vendor a hint. -Well, very good then. Best of luck to you both - the peddler said, nodding for them to leave. -You don -(TM)t understand - Laramis continued, -the law states that perfumes must be sold in the market square. Since you are selling perfumes on this street, you are in violation of the law. - The man looked at Laramis in confusion, -You can -(TM)t be serious, right? That law was passed so that that pompous ass Gilroy could fill his fat face up with delicacies. It -(TM)s all a huge scam. - -Who is Gilroy? - Edward asked. He felt the need to diffuse the tension. -Oh, well you two certainly aren -(TM)t from around here then. Gilroy is the minister of finances, and reports directly to Lord Taggart. He -(TM)s a mean, greedy man, always looking to take money from honest folk. He -(TM)s got all us merchants fighting amongst ourselves to make an honest coin, meanwhile he -(TM)s taking in his rake. It -(TM)s not fair to us. Aren -(TM)t you in the business of fairness? - he asked sarcastically. Laramis keep his gaze, not flinching for a second. -The law is the law, and at this point I don -(TM)t see how the law has prevented you from securing your basic needs. If you disagree with your government, I suggest you take it up with them. - -You think people haven -(TM)t tried already? - the merchant said, with a laugh. -Of course we have. They made the law to benefit themselves. Of course they won -(TM)t do anything about it! - he yelled. Edward was starting to feel uncomfortable. It was not going like he expected. Laramis took a moment to answer- -I -(TM)m sorry if that is the case. Perhaps if you all worked together- - -Right, like we haven -(TM)t tried that - the man interrupted, -Gilroy had already hand picked some merchants to be on his side, and with the power of the guards behind him, we had no choice but to follow the rules, or be put in jail. - -Sounds like you -(TM)re not really welcome here, sir - Edward offered. The man just looked at him, -Yeah, you could say that. Now if you -(TM)re done harassing the little guy, I -(TM)m still trying to earn my day -(TM)s wage. - -I am giving you a warning today, but if you are out here in violation of the law again, sir, I will have no choice but to arrest you - Laramis said. The merchant snarled, -Some public servant you are, arresting the good people of this town. Go rot in Hell. - Edward -(TM)s face started to turn red, but Laramis remained calm- -Whether you agree with it or not, it is the law, and I will enforce it. - Both men stared at each other intensely. -I will be back tomorrow. Good day - he said, turning away. Edward followed, all too happy to be away from that situation. Both men walked in silence for a bit, until Laramis suddenly stopped. -What did you think? - he asked Edward. -Well, it didn -(TM)t go very well, He was obviously upset. - -That -(TM)s of no consequence. What of the law itself?. - _The law...Hmmm...does it pass our tests?_ -It does not prevent an individual from the basic necessities- work, safety, and living. - -Right -- - Laramis agreed. -It does not unduly take freedom away, or discriminate a type of individual, so it is enforceable according to our ways. - Laramis nodded, and started to turn away -But, Chirrus does warn us against laws designed to help certain individuals. Laws should not be formed out of bias. - -If what the perfume merchant told us is true, it would be a concern. But not one we can address at the moment - Laramis explained. -We will need to keep an open mind about this, and tread carefully. - -Only with a light hand should we set the scale in motion - Edward recited. As the pair continued to walk, talking to people and introducing themselves as keepers of the law, Edward realized that many people were unhappy with the current state of affairs in government. -They -(TM)re taxing us half to death! - a female baker told them. -The guards -(TM)ll beat you if you look at them funny - another one said. Edward got the sense that people were looking to them to fix all of their problems, but as soon as the Brothers explained their mission, the people thought of them as a part of the problem -Well, then you -(TM)re just as bad as the rest of them! - someone yelled at them. _Don -(TM)t let them rattle you. Keep to the path of truth, and ignore the pulls of emotional thinking._ -It -(TM)s worse than last year - Laramis remarked, when they were alone again. -Through Chirrus -(TM) guidance, we will figure this out - Edward said optimistically. -And I -(TM)m sure Amos and Jethros are experiencing the same thing, but from a different perspective - Laramis remarked. _All those poor people we passed on the way through town. I hope Amos and Jethros are okay._ -We need to do something - Edward said with conviction. -We are doing something - Laramis replied. _But not enough --_ -Instead of enforcing laws that the people consider unfair, perhaps we should be focusing on their concerns of government injustice - Edward offered. -Tread carefully with those thoughts, Brother - Laramis said gravely, -people in power are not so easily convinced to give up what they have. - -I understand...perhaps we should speak with Amos about this. - Laramis nodded in agreement. It was about midday by the time Laramis and Edward were making their way to _The Fox and Imp_, a tavern in the nicer part of town where they planned to eat. They passed many of the same shops where they made their rounds earlier, including the spot where the perfume merchant was selling his wares. His absence was not lost on Edward. -Ooph! - Edward cried, feeling someone bump into him. He spun around to see a woman fall to the ground. She was wearing a faded black robe with the hood pulled over, so he couldn -(TM)t see much of her face. _That hair --_ It was a curly, fiery-reddish orange color, instantly reminding him of the woman he saw yesterday. -M-my apologies, my lord - she spoke. -My fault, I didn -(TM)t see you there - Edward quickly replied. He offered his hand. -The fault is mine, m -(TM)lord - she said, quickly walking off. Edward didn -(TM)t realize that she had placed something in his hand and closed it until she was well off. -The fault was hers, Brother - Laramis said, from behind him. -Don -(TM)t fret on it. - Edward surreptitiously placed the folded up paper inside the pocket of his heavy robe, and turned to face Laramis- -Of course, you -(TM)re right. I was simply surprised at how hard she fell. - -I have seen you in practice many times, Brother Edward. You have knocked men over many times that woman -(TM)s size - he said, smiling. _An unusual display of respect, I wonder._ -You do me great honor, Brother Laramis. With Chirrus -(TM) blessing, I hope I may not have to resort to violence here. - Edward felt renewed excitement from meeting the woman again, and wondered what the note would read. Based on the way the red-haired woman presented it to him, it seemed likely the note was meant only for him_Best I should read it alone when given the chance,_ he thought. He didn -(TM)t like the idea of keeping secrets from his Brothers, but he also wanted to respect the woman -(TM)s wishes. Both Brothers made their way to the tavern, and sat down at an empty table. They were expecting Amos and Jethros shortly. -I must use the pot - Edward said, excusing himself. He walked to the back of the establishment, and once out of sight, fished for the woman -(TM)s note_I need your help. Meet outside the inn tonight. Please_ Edward thought on it a moment- _Strange. What help would she need?_ A man of his word, Edward went to the tavern -(TM)s cess pit to relieve himself. He returned to find Amos and Jethros at the table. -How went things? - Edward asked, sitting down. Amos explained that he was surprised at the spread of poverty in much of the town, describing it as crowded and dilapidated. He and Jethros met many people begging for money, and quite a few lamenting over their treatment at the hands of the town -(TM)s security. -They are treated like second-class citizens, even though they are as protected as the rest of the men and women who live up here - Amos said, looking around. -If their tales are true, it seems there is some undue belligerence on the part of the Guard. - -Laramis and I also found many opposed to Lord Taggart -(TM)s style of governance. Some feel that the law and security work together to take money from them - Edward explained. -Reading the laws is one thing, but seeing it in play is another - Jethros said. -There is a certain attire that is mandated for those who visit the market -(TM)s square, in order to promote commerce. The destitute we observed would not be allowed there. - -Indeed -, Amos said, -Some of those poor souls we listened to made complaints that they were roughly handled by the guards here, and relieved of their valuable possessions...These are troubling accusations, to be sure. - _Perhaps that -(TM)s what the woman needs help with,_ Edward wondered. -What say you all about this? - Amos posited, looking around. It took a moment for Edward to finally speak up, -I feel our responsibility to justice extends beyond enforcing the smaller infractions we observed today. Perhaps our focus should lie with the ones who make the laws. - Amos looked at the others, awaiting their responses. -I agree with Edward, however I am unsure how to proceed in a productive manner - Laramis said. Jethros nodded his head in agreement. -As am I - Amos said. Edward felt relieved that his views were validated. -We can talk to Lord Taggart -(TM)s assistants about this tomorrow to address this -- - -And if they don -(TM)t listen? - Edward asked. -It has not been done for some time, but there is precedent for a public review of the law. - Edward remembered reading about previous Public Reviews, where Chirrus members would publicly recite a town -(TM)s laws and make arguments against their existence. It was done only in cases where laws were found to be unjust, and no progress could be made to modify them. The reason they were so uncommon was that the public nature of the accusations brought resentment from the people towards the government. In some cases, the Public Review precipitated rioting and rebellion, which were not seen favorably by their order. -Let -(TM)s hope it doesn -(TM)t come to that - Edward said. -They often lead to lawless acts - Jethros warned. -I will set up a meeting with whomever I can from Lord Taggart -(TM)s governing body - Amos said, resolutely. -I will try to set it up for tomorrow. In the meantime, we should start making a case for those who feel afflicted under Lord Taggart -(TM)s rule. After our meal, I will charge you with writing down all of the information you have gathered, and then going out to find out more complaints. - The four Brothers finished their meal, and Amos bid them good luck, leaving to see if he could schedule an audience for them. For the rest of the day, Edward, Laramis, and Jethros canvassed the area, asking citizens their opinions on the rules they had to follow. As opposed to earlier in the day, the Brothers were much more welcomed, and they were encouraged by the positive sentiment of the villagers. As the day wound down, however, Edward felt more and more distracted by the message in his robe_Does she have a grievance against the leaders here as well? No, she wouldn -(TM)t be afraid enough to slip me a message like that._ _Personal troubles? Like domestic issues? She didn -(TM)t have any signs of bruises. Boy I hope that -(TM)s not the reason. She deserves a lot better than that._ The gang all met up at their home base and enjoyed a meal of stew and ale for the evening -I had to wait over an hour, but I was able to speak with -~Master Marchand -(TM), Lord Taggart -(TM)s right hand man - Amos explained. Before anyone asked, Amos continued, -I think he goes by Master Marchand because he is a smaller man with some serious insecurity issues. He is an egotist above all other things, so be careful if you ever encounter him. - Edward gave Amos a skeptical look, which he saw -Don -(TM)t underestimate him. He may not be physically impressive, but he has a quick temper and uses the guards as an extension of his wrath. I -(TM)m sure you -(TM)ve heard plenty of rough stories about the Addersfield Guard today. - Everyone else nodded their heads- -One woman was thrown to the ground after a guard grabbed her child for being a -~nuisance -(TM) - Jethros said, incredulously, -Ended up hurting her arm, now she has a hard time sewing clothes for work. - -Another guard took a swing at one man who spoke out against the market square rules. The guard put the man in the infirmary for 2 days. - -And did you get their names as well as their statements? - Amos asked. -Yes...however many of them wanted to stay anonymous for fear of retaliation - Edward contributed. -Really? That does surprise me. - Amos furrowed his brow in consternation. -I think we can all see where this town is heading- it starts with corruption at the top, leading to frustration and resistance from the townspeople, and finally the security getting involved and using heavy-handed tactics to keep the peace. - -But instead of bringing law and order, the crackdown has only worsened resentment and led to more violence - Laramis added. -And worse crimes- larceny, assault, destruction of property. - Amos shook his head. -We can bring all of this to Master Marchand tomorrow. The meeting is at noon, so we have some time off to relax tomorrow morning. Be sure to get your rest - Amos said. It was night time when the Brothers finished their supper and went their separate ways. As Edward walked back to his room on the second floor, he couldn -(TM)t stop thinking of the beautiful woman he bumped into earlier_Why is my mind racing like this? I need to calm down --_ To set his mind at ease, Edward went to the hard wooden floor of his room and went into one of his exercise stances. With only his hands and the balls of his feet on the floor, his chest a couple inches above it, he slowly exhaled while pushing himself forward. As he did so, he arched his back, bringing his head towards the ceiling. It was tiring for his arms and chest, but he read that it also helped with balance. _Just breathe --_ Edward continued with his pre-bed workout routine, pushing his body control to it -(TM)s limits for half an hour. Would she like my body? Edward wondered, looking at the taut muscles of his right arm. There was very little fat on him, which was in stark contrast to almost everyone at the temple. _Discipline for the body, discipline for the mind,_ Edward remembered. It was another maxim from Chirrus -(TM) holy writings. Thinking that the time had come to face this new challenge, Edward put on his simple white tunic, his belt, and his loose breeches. _Might need a weapon,_ he thought, reaching for his long sap. At only two feet long, the leather club was much shorter than the swords that the soldiers wore, but it would be easy to conceal on his back hip, especially under his robe. Walking out of _The Bilgewater Tavern and Inn_, Edward didn -(TM)t see anyone on the street, although it was hard to make things out in the shadow of the building. _At least it -(TM)s almost a full moon,_ he thought. Going around to the corner of the building, Edward looked and saw a figure standing near the side of the building, looking up at one of the windows. _It -(TM)s her._ Even though the person wore a heavy cloak with the hood over, the distinctive reddish-orange hair came down from the person -(TM)s head and shone faintly in the pale moon glow. She must -(TM)ve sensed him there, because she turned towards him, and startled, jumped back. Edward quickly took his hood down, to give her a better look. After he did so, her hands reached up to pull her own hood away... _Still beautiful_ She appeared exactly as he had remembered from the first time he laid eyes on her- pale, soft skin, luscious lips, fiery hair, and eyes that dazzled green. She was a creature unlike any he had ever seen from his childhood, a beauty that put every other girl to shame. She beckoned him to come to her, and he was all too happy to oblige. -Thank you for coming - she said. She sounded afraid. -Of course - Edward replied. She was half a foot shorter than Edward -(TM)s impressive 5 -(TM)11 -(TM) -(TM) height, bringing her eyes level to his shoulders. He waited, unsure what to say next. -I -(TM)m...I -(TM)m in trouble - she said, casting her eyes down. Edward didn -(TM)t realize it, but he was puffing his chest out a bit. -What kind of trouble? - Edward asked. -With one of my clients - she said, bringing her eyes back up to Edward -(TM)s. They seemed to get bigger. -What do you mean? - Edward asked. She was only a foot away from him, and he felt her heavy presence in his mind. -There -(TM)s a man who says he loves me, but he doesn -(TM)t really. He just wants to use me - she emphasized, widening her eyes. Edward felt locked into those eyes, and waited for her to continue. -He _lusts_ for me, and can -(TM)t control himself around me - she continued. Edward felt a stirring in his loins, his mind starting to numb. -And when he loses control, he forces himself on me - she said, eyebrows turning up in despair. Edward saw her look of pain, and knew she needed his help. -I -(TM)m not naive, I know that some men _desire me_ - she continued, -But he -(TM)s so strong, he can take what he wants. - Edward saw her eyes moving back and forth, searching for something within him. -It would take another strong man to stop him...Are you strong? - she asked. His mind took a moment to catch up, and realize that he needed to respond -I try to be - he said, trying to sound humble. With the momentary distraction, Edward sniffed and found a peculiar smell in the air. -I know it -(TM)s a lot to ask of you, but I can tell that you are strong and brave. - She seemed to look over his body, or what little she could see under the robe, anyways. -Will you help me? - She said, with an expression of sorrow that Edward could not ignore. -I will do my best - Edward replied. The woman smiled for a moment, and Edward watched as her lips returned to their pouted form. They looked so plump, and inviting -- -What is your name, sir? - she asked. He looked up at her eyes- -Edward. Edward Godwin - -A strong name, for a strong young man - she replied. -My name is Lily - -That -(TM)s a pretty name - Edward said, instinctively. His heart was beating loud in his chest. -You are too kind, Edward - she said, demurely. There was a momentary pause, where both of them stared into each other -(TM)s eyes again. For Edward, it was like time stood still, and he grew excited for what would happen next. -I look forward to seeing you again, Edward - she said, breaking the tension. -As I, you - he admitted. His mind was still in a fog, waiting for some light to lead it out -- -Do you have time to visit me tomorrow? - she sweetly asked. _Tomorrow...tomorrow --_ -I have business to attend to at noon - he replied. -I have my own business to attend to tonight - she explained to him, -come to my residence tomorrow, around supper time. - -Where will I find you? - Edward asked, earnestly. -I live in the two-story house next to the blacksmith shop over by the market square. When you see the blue scarf in the second-story window, come in through the main door. - Edward nodded. -I will be waiting for you - she added. Edward nodded again, committing the information to memory. -This is very important to me - she said, fear in her voice again. -I am depending on you. - -Of course. I will do what I can - Edward answered. -So sweet - she said, smiling. She reached up with her right hand, and held the side of Edward -(TM)s jaw. -I appreciate your _passion_ - she emphasized, bringing her face closer. Once again, Edward -(TM)s mind seemed to numb. -You are full of such devotion, I really like that about you - she said, caressing his left cheek. -Now this is very important, so I want you to listen to me - she said, nodding her head down slightly. Edward focused on her voice. -I need your _passion_. Your _energy_. Just _focus_ on me, and bring all of your will and emotion to bear. I will need everything from you to save me. And you do want to save me, don -(TM)t you? - Edward felt his head bowing slightly. -And one other thing- I want you to _think_ on me...tonight. When you go to bed. Can you do that for me? - Again, Edward nodded his head. -You bring me such happiness, Edward. - Slowly, Lily approached Edward -(TM)s face, and lightly kissed him on the right cheek. Edward felt a shiver run down his spine, and his eyes closed momentarily in reaction. -Good night, my hero - she said, backing away. It took him a moment to realize that she was about to leave- -Good night, Lily. - She watched her pull her hood over, then silently turn to walk away. The cold spring night brought a coolness to his cheek where Lily kissed him, and Edward dared not mar the mark with his touch. Eventually Edward -(TM)s mind cleared of the cobwebs enveloping it, and his senses told him to come back inside where it was warmer. _To bed,_ he thought. Once he made his way back to his room, Edward took off his robe and belt, and slid into bed without another thought. ----- Edward was moving forward, trying to find a way out Everything was darkness, but he could make out the walls to his left and right He turned right, but the walls were still on either side of him. He continued to move forward, frightened that he could not get out Edward saw that the only way was forward, and when there were no openings for a time, no other way to go, he ran The walls rushed past him on either side Suddenly there was an opening to his left, and he took it He could see a small room, enclosed by the same walls as before. And there in the middle of it, was a bed A lush, inviting bed that Edward knew was full of softness and pleasure Edward came closer to the bed, drawn to its promises. It was so enticing, that he could not resist its allure. He saw that it was a dark crimson, like the color of blood Falling onto the bed, Edward felt the silk covers on his skin, and he rubbed his face in them. On and on he nuzzled that smooth texture, and the feeling only intensified his desire for it Suddenly Edward felt that same silkiness on his penis, which brought a renewed sense of pleasure Tasting it and wanting more, Edward immediately started bucking his hips, rhythmically pressing his crotch into the bed mattress It felt so good to keep humping the bed, that he did not want to ever stop With a singular focus on increasing that pleasure, Edward continued rocking his hips into the bed...over...and over -- The pleasure grew slowly, and as it did so, his sexual thrusts became stronger and deeper Quickly, Edward increased his pace, having found the penetration and feeling he desired Faster...faster -- The silk sheets seemed to move around him, swirling of their own energy But Edward was too fixated on himself to care, much less realize, that the sheets were taking form The sexual pleasure was building up to the point of no return, but Edward was not concerned with stopping _Love me_ came a voice in his mind. Edward looked and saw that the red silk sheets were ruffled up somewhere at the head of the bed The silk sheet lifted in the air, as if being pulled by an invisible hand. But Edward now realized that the bed sheet wasn -(TM)t silk, but very soft, fine hair _Love me_ came the beckoning call. Edward continued to watch as the hair parted enough to reveal dazzling green emerald eyes Staring at those eyes, Edward obeyed the voice and took his thrusts deeper Staring into those eyes, Edward was powerless to resist, or turn away. He felt their power, the power to control his mind and make him do as they commanded _Love me_, said the eyes. Edward obeyed without a second thought, and the loss of control was exhilarating Suddenly the eyes brightened, filling his vision as he gave one last thrust and held it -- Edward woke up in his bed, face down, his mind aglow with pleasure as his cock spurted semen into his breeches -Uuuunnn - he groaned into the mattress. After the orgasm subsided, Edward took stock of what had happened- _Another wet dream?_ Edward panted to catch his breath, and starting thinking of what to do now- _My sheets are probably soaked now. Damn!_ But instead of rolling over and getting out of bed as quick as he could, like two nights before, Edward took his time to extricate himself, taking care not to touch his semen-soaked breeches into anything else on the bed. As he set himself to the task of piling up the stained garments, Edward thought about the dream he just had_It was so vivid, like I could really feel the bed sheets on my skin._ Edward looked at the pile, ashamed_This is wrong. I shouldn -(TM)t be giving in those feelings...Discipline the body, discipline the mind._ Thinking back through his life, Edward had never had sexual relations with a woman before; the closest he ever came was the time he was 17, when he made out with a local farm girl named Gwendolyn. They used to hide out in the woods, sneaking away from their parents to be alone together. Edward winced when he thought about the last time they made out, when he was being too aggressive with her. Driven by his youth and the heat of the moment, he tried to take off her clothes. But when she kept telling him to stop and he wouldn -(TM)t, she slapped him hard across the face. From then on, their relationship was never the same. Although she eventually forgave him, Edward could not forgive himself, and their love for each other faded away by the next year. The seclusion away from women was part of the reason that Edward went to House Righteous after he turned 19. He figured through worshipping Chirrus, he could find an inner peace. But that peace was badly shaken now -I -(TM)m so weak - he cried. Even if it was a dream, it still felt like he failed a test. He got so carried away with his lust, that he lost control of himself. Just like he did 7 years ago -- Edward sat down next to his pile of soiled garments, and shed a tear.WorshippingGodchapter2