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\fs24\lang1033\langfe1033\cgrid\langnp1033\langfenp1033 {\insrsid162702 The Ugly One}{\insrsid13918637
}{\insrsid162702 Chapter Twelve
by be287m
The doubts returned when I awoke. Did yesterday really happen? Was it real? Had the women really found me attractive enough to sleep with, or were they just acting?
I couldn\rquote t tell about the last one. I knew that
any decent courtesan was capable of good acting, and they could have certainly faked part of their reactions before and during the orgy. Maybe despite my protestations, they had fucked me as a favor to Tamara. Or Summer. Maybe they considered me ugly}
{\insrsid2426663 ,}{\insrsid162702 but as \lquote professionals}{\insrsid2426663 ,}{\insrsid162702 \rquote were able to hide that and fuck me anyway.
But they did}{\insrsid11891001 fuck me}{\insrsid162702 . I didn\rquote t pay them, I didn\rquote t coerce them, }{\insrsid11891001 and }{\insrsid162702 they didn\rquote
t do it because they were drunk or trying to win a bet. Well, maybe Summer was trying to win a bet, but that was different. The women had certainly had a chance to walk away, like Bambi had done.
It was hard}{\insrsid11891001 to think about}{\insrsid162702 . }{\insrsid7021521 I desperately wanted to believe that it had all been real, despite the voice inside telling me that the women had been faking and it was all a sham. }{\insrsid162702
Thirty years of telling myself I was ugly, stacked up against one incredible experience. }{\insrsid7021521 Why should a single experience win out?}{\insrsid162702
}{\insrsid9384751
Except it wasn\rquote t}{\insrsid11891001 a single experience}{\insrsid9384751 . Angie hadn\rquote t been involved in this at all and she\rquote d found me attractive. I could rationalize that away, since she seemed to idealize men. But still . . .
I missed Angie. Yesterday had been incredible, but it felt, well, temporary. }{\insrsid2426663 Unsustainable}{\insrsid9384751 . Even if I could afford it, I couldn\rquote t live in the brothel, having such orgies every day. It wouldn\rquote
t be enough. Being with Angie had felt deeper, more sustaining. It was lovemaking, not sex for fun.
Love. Funny word. I wondered if I really knew what it meant.
My mind meandered back through the orgy and I remembered Sherri stroking my scars, and then Rochelle playing with them. I rea}{\insrsid11891001 lized that Angie had never }{\insrsid9384751 appeared to }{\insrsid11891001 even }{\insrsid9384751
notice my scars. }{\insrsid14034286 Could she even fathom how ugly they were? May}{\insrsid4150590 be she really had idealized me}{\insrsid14034286 , being all too willing to overlook my flaws. I didn\rquote t know if she still saw me as }{
\insrsid3237948 ideal }{\insrsid14034286 now that she knew I was human.}{\insrsid9384751
}{\insrsid14034286
}{\insrsid3237948 Human. Did Billy just see me as human?}{\insrsid14034286 }{\insrsid6045511 He was much harder to second guess or explain away. He was too young to lie or act well. I couldn\rquote t imagine any motives for him to do so even if he c
ould. And Billy saw me as a hero.}{\insrsid14034286
}{\insrsid6045511
Maybe I was. And if I wasn\rquote t, maybe I could be one.
}{\insrsid11891001
Regardless, I needed to get out of bed. I was flying back to Denver in the afternoon and I wasn\rquote t quite ready to return to my life. I grabbed a t-shirt and some boxers and went in search of my host.
I found Summer in the kitchen, drinking coffee and going through some magazines. She was nude and nonchalant.
\'93Do you ever wear clothes?\'94 I asked as I filled my own mug. Summer grinned at me.
\'93Only when I have to. Or when I\rquote m trying to seduce someone, since stripping can be so sexy.\'94}{\insrsid8747554 She gave a lascivious grin and licked her lips.}{\insrsid11891001
\'93Whew!\'94 I teased. \'93I guess that means I\rquote m safe from being seduced}{\insrsid4150590 ,}{\insrsid11891001 since you\rquote re already nude!\'94 Summer gave me a playful swat with her magazine.
\'93No way are you safe, boy. Not after last night!\'94
\'93You liked?\'94 I kept my face as deadpan as I could manage. Summer snorted.
\'93Boy are you clueless, John,\'94 she teased. \'93Most guys would have figured out I was having a good time by my third or fourth orgasm.\'94
\'93Yeah, the orgasms were a clue,\'94 I shot back. \'93But I was just making sure. Customer satisfaction is important, after all.\'94 Summer laughed again.}{\insrsid15146728
I took a moment to admire her breasts bounce as she chuckled. This was something I could definitely get used to.}{\insrsid11891001
}{\insrsid15146728
\'93So what would you like to do today?\'94 she asked, a little more seriously.
\'93Actually, I\rquote d like to talk to Tamara. I was hoping I could borrow your Jeep and go see her for lunch.\'94 Summer nodded.
}{\insrsid2498408 \'93Be back by four}{\insrsid15146728 . That\rquote ll give us enough time to get you to the airport for your flight.\'94
}{\insrsid8747554 \'93No problem,}{\insrsid15146728 \'94}{\insrsid8747554 I answered.}{\insrsid15146728 Summer indicated where her keys were. A little while later, showered, shaved, and dressed, I was once again headed to KitKat Lane.
}{\insrsid6045511
}{\insrsid15170138 I\rquote d forgotten to call ahead and so had to hang out in the }{\insrsid11285716 parlor}{\insrsid15170138 while the house mom fetched Tamara. Once again, the ladies present didn\rquote
t pay me more than minimal attention once they realized I wasn\rquote t a potential client. No one stared and no one avoided me. }{\insrsid11285716 The lack of attention, positive or negative, was a little startling.}{\insrsid15170138
}{\insrsid11285716
Tamara gave me a huge hug when she arrived in the parlor.
\'93Good to see you, John! What brings you here?\'94
\'93Can we talk? Somewhere privately?\'94
\'93Sure. Want to come back to my room?\'94
I nodded and followed her down the hall. For the first time, Tamara\rquote s room was a little bit of a mess. Last night\rquote s clothes hadn\rquote t yet been put away and a textbook and several folders lay open on the desk.}{\insrsid8671331
I sat down on the bed and Tamara joined me.
}{\insrsid11955003 \'93Yesterday I asked you why you\rquote d arranged the orgy for me.\'94 I asked. \'93You said it was because of Billy. What did you mean?\'94}{\insrsid11285716
}{\insrsid6045511
}\pard \ql \li0\ri0\widctlpar\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid10712351 {\insrsid10712351 \'93Billy\rquote s my }{\insrsid11955003 life, John. I\rquote ve told you that,\'94 Tamara began. Then she paused for a moment.
\'93You said that yesterday, but th}{\insrsid2426663 at}{\insrsid11955003 it would}{\insrsid3237948 take a while to explain,}{\insrsid11955003 \'94}{\insrsid3237948 I interjected.}{\insrsid11955003
\'93That true,\'94 she replied. \'93Can I start at the beginning?\'94
}{\insrsid8006244 \'93Sure.\'94}{\insrsid11955003
Tamara smiled and took a deep breath before }{\insrsid3237948 starting}{\insrsid11955003 .
\'93}{\insrsid4150590 I wouldn\rquote t be working }{\insrsid10712351 here }{\insrsid4150590 if it weren\rquote t for Billy. }{\insrsid10712351 I could be living in a small apartment with three other studen
ts, eating ramen noodles and working thirty hours a week at some minimum wage job. I could get through school that way. But this way I have a house and Billy can go to a }{\insrsid2426663 good}{\insrsid10712351
school. I can feed him and clothe him and even get him so}{\insrsid2426663 me toys from time to time. I\rquote m}{\insrsid10712351 home for him regularly and when I\rquote m not, he\rquote }{\insrsid11955003 s with family and}{\insrsid3237948 }{
\insrsid10712351 not stuck in some day care or after school program somewhere. }{\insrsid3237948 Yes, I like the sex, but I do this work for Billy.}{\insrsid10712351
\'93Billy has Down\rquote s, John. He\rquote s never going to be an engineer or a doctor. Sure, he\rquote s very creative, but how is he going to support himself? I want him to live a normal life. I don\rquote
t want him institutionalized or spending the rest of h}{\insrsid11955003 is life living with his mother.}{\insrsid10712351
}{\insrsid11955003
}{\insrsid10712351 \'93And part of living a normal life is dating. Right now he\rquote s ten, and if he\rquote s gotten interested in girls, he hasn\rquote t said anything to me.\'94
\'93Not to me either,\'94 I }{\insrsid3237948 sai}{\insrsid10712351 d.
\'93So when he does get interested in girls, and he gets rejected because of his Down}{\insrsid2426663 \rquote }{\insrsid10712351 s, what do I tell him? How do I tell him it\rquote ll be all right? Why should he believe his mother?\'94
She turned to me, }{\insrsid2426663 a fierceness in her eyes. A ma}{\insrsid10712351 ma bear fierceness I\rquote d seen before.
\'93That\rquote s where you come in, John. }{\insrsid14684527 If things come out all right for you, why shouldn\rquote t he believe me? }{\insrsid10712351 In fact, I pr}{\insrsid14684527 obably don\rquote t even have to say anything}{\insrsid10712351
. You\rquote re his friend now, and he\rquote ll see that on his own.\'94
\'93So you\rquote re doing this so I\rquote ll be }{\insrsid8456921 a role model for Billy}{\insrsid10712351 ,\'94 I stated.
\'93That was }{\insrsid8456921 what I had in mind }{\insrsid10712351 back in September,\'94 she }{\insrsid8456921 informed }{\insrsid10712351 me. \'93And it was your idea. You\rquote d spend time with Billy as his friend and I\rquote
d help you get comfortable around women.\'94
\'93Well, you\rquote ve certainly kept your end of the deal,\'94 I remarked}{\insrsid3237948 ,}{\insrsid10712351 a little bitter.
\'93It\rquote s more than just a deal now, John. }{\insrsid8456921 You\rquote ve become m}{\insrsid14684527 ore than a role model for Billy;}{\insrsid8456921 you\rquote ve become his friend. }{\insrsid10712351 You\rquote re my friend too. }{
\insrsid14684527 I want my friends to be happy.\'94 She\rquote d caught my tone and I could see the nervousness in her eyes.
}{\insrsid10712351 I reluctantly nodded.}{\insrsid14684527 }{\insrsid3237948 \'93It\rquote }{\insrsid14684527 s still pretty cold, though. I wish you\rquote d done it just for me.\'94
Tamara sighed.
\'93Sometimes people do things for more than one reason, John. Sometimes some of those reasons are selfish. That doesn\rquote t mean that the other reasons aren\rquote t valid too.\'94}{\insrsid11674345
\'93Yeah?\'94
Tamara snorted. \'93You\rquote re just as guilty of mixed motives as anyone else, John. }{\insrsid4468221 Our original deal was your idea, and I doubt you made it solely with Billy\rquote s welfare in mind.\'94
I stared down at my shoes, a little embarrassed. Then she drove it home.
\'93If I w}{\insrsid2426663 ere}{\insrsid4468221 n\rquote t a physically beautiful woman you were hoping to sleep with again, would you have even bothered with Billy?\'94
That was too much! I stood up and strode toward the door, before remembering I wasn\rquote t supposed to be in the brothel halls }{\insrsid8994861 alone, without an escort}{\insrsid4468221 .}{\insrsid8994861 I turned and glared at Tamara}{
\insrsid4468221 . Tamara\rquote s face softened into sadness.
\'93I\rquote m sorry, John.}{\insrsid5769372 \'94 Tamar}{\insrsid8006244 a bit her lip, then continued.}{\insrsid8994861
}{\insrsid5769372 \'93}{\insrsid8994861 I thought you\rquote d like the orgy. Most guys would have loved it. I thought it would be a fun way to help you realize that you\rquote re really not as unattractive as you think. That\rquote s why I only invi
ted women who\rquote d spent some time talking with you the night before. I wanted women that had gotten to know you at least a}{\insrsid3430041 little as a person.}{\insrsid8994861 \'94
}{\insrsid3430041
\'93Wait a minute. You didn\rquote t arrange things with the women ahead of time?\'94
\'93No. Other than Summer, of course.\'94 Tamara looked at me, confused. \'93You were there when I suggested the orgy.\'94
}{\insrsid8994861
\'93I}{\insrsid3430041 . . . but . . . you mean . . .\'94 Words weren\rquote t quite coming together coherently for me.
\'93I was relieved that Bambi was the only one that walked out,\'94 Tamara continued. }{\insrsid13200194 \'93And Sherri . . . when she walked up to you, the look on your face was priceless.\'94
She gave me a small grin with that last sentence. I just stared at her, open mouthed.
\'93You all weren\rquote t acting?\'94}{\insrsid8595700
\'93Why should we? Besides, you know me well enough to know if I was acting or not.\'94
I just stared at her as that sank in. I pulled the chair out of her desk and sat down.}{\insrsid3237948
}{\insrsid1846797
\'93It was real,\'94 I muttered.
\'93Of course it was real.\'94
I shook my head and looked at her.
\'93Look, I admit that I wish you had done it just for me, without any mixed motivations or deals. I would like to believe that we have a real friendship and not just a deal between us.\'94
\'93Then let\rquote s drop the deal.\'94 }{\insrsid4150590
}{\insrsid1846797 Startled, I lost my train of thought.
\'93No more deal,\'94 Tamara continued. \'93I\rquote ll only do things for you because I want to and you only do things for Billy and me because you want to.\'94
\'93Can I still come over on Thursdays?\'94
\'93Of course you can! But as a friend. Just as a friend.\'94}{\insrsid15031163 I nodded in reply. We sat for a moment and then Tamara motioned to the bed beside her.}{\insrsid1846797
}{\insrsid15031163
\'93How about a hug for a friend?\'94
\'93Sure,\'94 I replied. I got up and then sat next to her. She embraced me, and we held each other for quite some time.
}\pard \ql \li0\ri0\widctlpar\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0 {\insrsid6045511
}{\insrsid7695573 \'93Look, I\rquote m sorry for doubting you,\'94 I finally said.
\'93That\rquote s okay, John. I\rquote m sorry for sending you the mixed message about why I was doing it.\'94
\'93That\rquote s okay. I know that Billy comes first in your life. And I can see how helping me also helps him.\'94
\'93I\rquote m glad you can. But still, I should do something special for you sometime. Just for you.\'94
\'93I\rquote d like that.\'94 Tamara just smiled at me in reply.
\'93Speaking of doing something special,\'94 I continued, \'93how about if I take you to lunch?\'94
\'93Sure! I\rquote ll talk to Marvin.\'94
With that, we disentangled and she went to get permission to have an outdate. }{\insrsid2498408
Marvin was once again very understanding and I was able to take her to a steak and seafood restaurant in Carson City. We talked and laughed and discussed menus for future Thursday evenings. I caught myself smilin}{\insrsid8006244 g more than I\rquote
d ever expected.}{\insrsid2498408
After I returned Tamara to the brothel, I decided to not head directly back to Summer\rquote
s. Since I had a couple of hours, I drove up to Lake Tahoe and found a place I could sit on the shore. There, contemplating the clear deep water, I thought about everything
that had happened during the trip. I still wanted to doubt what had happened, but the side of me that wanted to believe was stronger than before. I probably still had a long way to go, but there was hope now. I liked having that hope.}{
\insrsid7695573
}{\insrsid2498408 Eventually it was time to leave. }{\insrsid5071463 Summer drove me to the airport. Just outside of security, she stopped and hugged me. We finished the hug with a friendly kiss.
\'93Thanks for coming out, John.\'94 she said, smiling.
\'93Thanks for having me!\'94
\'93You\rquote re welcome. You\rquote re also welcome to come back anytime.\'94 Summer got an impish look in her eyes.
\'93You\rquote re also welcome in my bed, as long as you\rquote re single,\'94 she teased. \'93Or if you\rquote re not single, }{\insrsid4220078 you\rquote re welcome }{\insrsid2426663 if your}{\insrsid5071463 girlfriend doesn\rquote t mind.\'94}{
\insrsid4220078 I laughed in disbelief.}{\insrsid5071463
}{\insrsid4220078
\'93You\rquote re assuming I\rquote ll have a girlfriend.\'94
\'93You will}{\insrsid2426663 ,}{\insrsid4220078 \'94 she stated firmly.
\'93Really? You interested?\'94 I teased back. Summer caught my tone and realized I }{\insrsid2896167 wasn\rquote t serious. She looked up toward the ceiling, }{\insrsid4220078 as if seriously considering my offer.}{\insrsid2896167 Then }{
\insrsid8078923 she }{\insrsid2896167 turned and smiled at me.}{\insrsid4220078
\'93Nah. }{\insrsid2896167 It\rquote d be fun but }{\insrsid4220078 I d}{\insrsid2896167 on\rquote t do monogamy very well. Y}{\insrsid4220078 ou\rquote d get jealous }{\insrsid2896167 of me}{\insrsid4220078 sleeping with other men.\'94
I nodded. Maybe not jealous, but it would definitely feed my insecurities.
}{\insrsid2716117
\'93Well, then you\rquote ll just have to come out to Colorado and fuck me silly from time to time,\'94 I said in mock seriousness. Summer laughed.
\'93I\rquote ll be out for Tamara\rquote s graduation in May. If you\rquote re still single then, you\rquote }{\insrsid8127290 re on!}{\insrsid2716117 \'94
}{\insrsid8127290 We smiled at each other for a while. Then}{\insrsid2716117 Summer gave me another hug and another quick kiss. We said our final goodbyes and I got in line to}{\insrsid8127290
be x-rayed and otherwise inspected by airport security. It was with a mixture of elation and sadness that I finally headed home.}{\insrsid2716117
}{\insrsid5071463
}{\insrsid2760406 That mixture continued for the next several days. Work seemed boring and my house drab by comparison to my memories of Nevada. Yet it also felt comforting, reassuring really. Like it was familiar enough for me to catch my breath.
I noticed the biggest change }{\insrsid83541 almost a week}{\insrsid2760406 later. My stomach no longer tightened when I looked in the bathroom mirror to shave. That was a pleasant surprise.
I received another pleasant surprise when the phone rang that evening.
\'93John? This is }{\insrsid7670525 Barb}{\insrsid2760406 , Lynn\rquote s classmate. You came to the }{\insrsid7670525 Christmas}{\insrsid2760406 party at my house.\'94
\'93I remember. What\rquote s up?\'94
}{\insrsid2557450 \'93Well, I\rquote m having another party this Saturday and was hoping you\rquote d come.\'94 That surprised me, but I realized I was flattered.
\'93Sure! What\rquote s the occasion?\'94
\'93Surviving midterms! I figured it was better to throw a pre-graduation party now than compete with everyone else\rquote s parties in May.\'94 I chuckled in appreciation of her logic. \'93I\rquote ve invited Lynn and you\rquote
ll know some of the people from Christmas. Will you come?\'94
\'93I\rquote ll be there!\'94 I replied. She gave me the logistics information and we hung up before the questions kicked in.}{\insrsid13066566 How did she get my phone number? And why was she inviting me directly instead of asking Lynn to invite me?}
{\insrsid2557450
}{\insrsid13066566
Lynn provided the answer to the latter the following Thursday. }{\insrsid5506836 She gave me a deep hug at the door that lasted a little longer than the ones I\rquote
d gotten before Nevada. She indicated that Billy was finishing up some homework, so I followed her into the kitchen}{\insrsid8615815 and voice}{\insrsid224580 d}{\insrsid8615815 my question}{\insrsid5506836 .}{\insrsid13066566
}{\insrsid11825995
}{\insrsid9969871 \'93Barb left me a message about the party}{\insrsid4150590 ,\'94 she answered,}{\insrsid9969871 }{\insrsid4150590 \'93}{\insrsid9969871 and mentioned that }{\insrsid8615815 she was going }{\insrsid4150590 to invite you too. }{
\insrsid9969871 By the time I had a chance to return her call, she\rquote d already talked to you.\'94
\'93So you didn\rquote t give her my number?\'94
\'93No.\'94 That set me back. I}{\insrsid9859148 played back my memories of my conversations with Barb. I couldn\rquote t remember ever giving her my number.}{\insrsid9969871
}{\insrsid9859148
\'93She could have gotten it from information, I suppose . . .\'94
\'93You have a pretty common last name, John. There must be a full page of Grants in the phone book.\'94
\'93True. Do you think Angie would have . . .\'94 I trailed off, not quite wanting to think about the answer to that question. Did I dare hope?
\'93Why not?\'94 Lynn answered. \'93Barb actually asked }{\insrsid10114354 me }{\insrsid9859148 about how you felt about Angie when I called her back.\'94
\'93Huh?\'94
\'93When I called Barb back to RSVP for the party and found out she\rquote d already invited you, I as}{\insrsid10114354 ked if Angie was coming too, since they\rquote re such good friends. }{\insrsid9859148 Barb said she hoped so. She also hoped you
\rquote d give Angie a chance if she did come.\'94
\'93What?? She\rquote s the one who doesn\rquote t want to see me!\'94
\'93Actually, she said you could call in a few weeks,\'94 Lynn reminded me. \'93Anyway, I wasn\rquote t happy with Barb\rquote s comment either, so I grilled her a little. It seems that Angie\rquote
s told Barb on more than one occasion that she thinks she made a mistake by ending things with you.}{\insrsid12352862 However, Angie\rquote s also scared that you won\rquote t forgive her for running out on you or leaving you that message.\'94}{
\insrsid9859148
}{\insrsid8477228
I nodded. I could see that.
\'93I\rquote m angry with her for that,\'94 I began, \'93but I can forgive her. So she makes mistakes and isn\rquote t perfect. Neither am I.\'94
}{\insrsid10945726
\'93Mind if I pass that on?\'94 Lynn asked.
\'93Pass what on?\'94
\'93That you can forgive Angie.\'94 I nodded in reply.}{\insrsid83541 Then I sat, lost in my thoughts.}{\insrsid10945726
}{\insrsid83541
Sure, I could forgive Angie. But did I want anything beyond that? I still felt a pang inside when I thought of her. Her smile, her cooking, the lovemaking. All the memories brought a smile to my lips. I wanted her, but . . . }{\insrsid14816461
I couldn\rquote t put my finger on what was nagging me, so I let it go. I turned to Lynn once again.}{\insrsid9859148
}{\insrsid83541
}{\insrsid2313115 \'93I\rquote ve said she\rquote s the best thing that ever happened to me,\'94 I stated. \'93Though what you did last week might top that.\'94 I grinned at Lynn who chuckled.}{\insrsid9969871
}{\insrsid2313115
\'93Apples and oranges, John.\'94
}{\insrsid14816461 \'93Oh, good! That means I don\rquote t have to choose between them!\'94 That brought a full laugh from Lynn.
}{\insrsid7343778
Billy came out of the kitchen shortly after that, so we finished up by discussing logistics for Barb\rquote s party. After that, Billy and I retreated to his room for some serious playtime before I headed home.
}{\insrsid14816461
}{\insrsid7343778 That Saturday, }{\insrsid7166632 it }{\insrsid10114354 was}{\insrsid11825995 just the two of us }{\insrsid7166632 headed to the party, }{\insrsid11825995 since}{\insrsid10114354 }{\insrsid11825995 Billy had gotten an invitation to
a slumber party at Ralph\rquote s house for the evening. }{\insrsid4987165 Lynn introduced me to the people in the living room and I was heartened to realize that I remembered a quarter of their names. We were chatting with a woman from Lynn}{
\insrsid7166632 \rquote s a}{\insrsid4987165 natomy class when some new arrivals came through the door behind us. Lynn flinched upon seeing them so I turned. It was Greg, accompanied by two guys I didn\rquote t know.}{\insrsid5506836
}{\insrsid4987165
\'93Lynn! Babe! Good to see you!\'94 Greg called out. The three of them approached us.
\'93I\rquote m really glad }{\insrsid7101384 you\rquote re here}{\insrsid2426663 !\'94}{\insrsid4987165 Greg said, the innuendo unmistakable. }{\insrsid2426663 He}{\insrsid4987165 gave me only a quick glance before leering at Lynn.}{\insrsid11218923
\'93It wouldn\rquote t be a }{\i\insrsid11218923\charrsid11218923 party}{\insrsid11218923 without you.\'94}{\insrsid4987165
}{\insrsid11218923
}{\insrsid2426663 \'93Good to see you, Greg,}{\insrsid11218923 \'94 Lynn responded, so coldly that I was sure Greg would have noticed. He didn\rquote t, though one of his wingmen looked puzzled. \'93Since you\rquote re such a }{
\i\insrsid11218923\charrsid11218923 gentleman}{\insrsid11218923 , and all.\'94 Greg just continued his leer.
\'93Where\rquote s the beer?\'94 he asked. Lynn\rquote s classmate pointed toward the kitchen and Greg\rquote s group pushed through the room toward the alcohol. I looked at Lynn, who was frowning.
\'93Need a drink?\'94 I asked.
}{\insrsid10114354 \'93No,}{\insrsid11218923 \'94 she stated, staring after Greg.
\'93I do. I\rquote ll be back.\'94 Lynn nodded and with that I headed off in Greg\rquote s wake. I hung back just a little when I got to the kitchen door. They didn\rquote t notice me}{\insrsid6832073 , being too busy getting }{\insrsid7166632
their beers opened}{\insrsid11218923 .
\'93What was that about?\'94 It was the suspicious wingman asking Greg a question.
\'93She\rquote s a whore!\'94 Greg replied. \'93You can fuck her for two hundred bucks!\'94 I snorte}{\insrsid10114354 d. It figured that}{\insrsid4209187 the guy would quote a price that was a fraction of what he\rquote d actually paid.}{
\insrsid11218923
}{\insrsid4209187
\'93No w}{\insrsid8006244 ay!\'94 his other wingman called.}{\insrsid4209187
\'93}{\insrsid8006244 No joke}{\insrsid4209187 ! She might be all goody-goody here, but she\rquote s a slut when she gets the chance.\'94
\'93A slut\rquote s not the same thing as a whore,\'94 the suspicious wingman commented.
\'93I tell ya, she\rquote s a whore. A hooker. She\rquote ll fuck anyone who\rquote s got a couple of bucks to spare.\'94
\'93And how do you know this?\'94
\'93I know.\'94 This didn\rquote t seem to satisfy his suspicious friend, so Greg continued. \'93A friend saw her in one of the brothels in Nevada.\'94
\'93You mean }{\i\insrsid4209187\charrsid4209187 you}{\insrsid4209187 saw her in the brothel.\'94
\'93Nah, I\rquote d never go to a brothel. I don\rquote t need to pay for chicks!\'94
}{\insrsid5506836
}{\insrsid4209187 Just then, a woman slid by me on her way into the kitchen. The guys promptly shut up. I realized the woman was }{\insrsid10114354 our hostess Barb}{\insrsid4209187 . I followed her in. The guys sa
id hello to Barb, barely acknowledged me, and headed back into the living room.
}{\insrsid8480298 \'93Hi, John. Glad you could make it,\'94 Barb said, as we }{\insrsid10385404 got}{\insrsid8480298 our own beers.
}{\insrsid9969871 \'93I appreciate the invite,\'94 I replied. Barb looked a little uncomfortable, like she was summoning the courage to say something, so I leaned back.
}{\insrsid8480298
}{\insrsid9969871 \'93Angie\rquote s supposed to come too,\'94 she told me.
}{\insrsid460567 \'93Oh?\'94 That wasn\rquote t unexpected, of course.}{\insrsid9969871
}{\insrsid460567
\'93I hope that\rquote s okay,\'94 Barb rushed to say.
\'93It\rquote s okay,\'94 I reassured her. \'93If it\rquote s okay with Angie that I\rquote m here, of course.\'94
\'93She knows I invited you. I think she\rquote ll come.\'94 I nodded in response.
\'93She\rquote s talked about you a lot,\'94 Barb said next. \'93She really liked being with you.\'94
\'93I liked being with her.\'94
\'93Well, I think }{\insrsid10114354 you were great for her}{\insrsid460567 , and I\rquote d hate to see you guys not together because of stuff }{\insrsid10114354 that you did}{\insrsid460567 before you met}{\insrsid10114354 her}{\insrsid460567 .\'94
\'93Did she tell you what that stuff was?\'94
\'93No, but why should it matter?\'94
I let out a sigh of relief. Angie wasn\rquote t telling her friends that I\rquote d seen prostitutes. That secret was still safe.
\'93I can see why it mattered,\'94 I replied. \'93Particularly in how I told her.}{\insrsid14514630 I was too busy thinking about myself and my problems to think about how my words would affect her.\'94}{\insrsid460567
}{\insrsid7278516
\'93I don\rquote t understand.\'94
\'93I was thoughtless,\'94 I admitted. \'93I said some stuff that hurt her, and even clarifying things later doesn\rquote t change the fact that I messed up. She might blame herself, but I blame me just as much.\'94
Barb gave me a rueful smile.
\'93Well I hope you two can patch things up,\'94 she stated.
\'93Me too.\'94
Barb\rquote s eyes glanced toward the door. I realized that she\rquote d have to do some circulation as part of her hostess duties.
\'93Shall we rejoin the party?\'94 I asked.
\'93Sure. And thanks for coming, John.\'94 I just smiled in return.
}{\insrsid3171163 When}{\insrsid11103113 Barb and}{\insrsid3171163 I walked back into the liv
ing room, Greg was in one corner with a small group of guys clustered around him. He was talking in hushed tones. Lynn was engaged in a conversation on the other side of the room, pointedly ignoring the glances and stares her direction.}{
\insrsid12338055 I walked over to her and handed her a be}{\insrsid11103113 er. The couple she was talking to spotted Barb and went over to her}{\insrsid12338055 , leaving the two of us alone. Lynn looked pained.}{\insrsid3171163
}{\insrsid12338055
\'93He\rquote s telling them, isn\rquote t he?\'94 she asked, never raising her tone, but her eyes full of fury.
\'93Sort of. He\rquote s telling them that a friend saw you in a brothel, but denying that he was there himself.\'94
\'93That bastard!\'94 she }{\insrsid11103113 hissed}{\insrsid12338055 through gritted teeth.
}{\insrsid14360907
\'93What do you want to do?\'94
\'93The damage is done. By Monday, everyone in school will know. Fuck!\'94 I was startled with the vehemence of Lynn\rquote s swearing.
\'93You can deal with Monday on Monday. What do you want to do tonight?\'94
\'93I want to shut the bastard up!}{\insrsid11103113 But I can\rquote t say anything! If I say anything, it\rquote ll just make things worse!}{\insrsid10114354 \'94}{\insrsid11103113
\'93How?\'94
\'93I\rquote ve still got a month until graduation, John! I need to be able to work with my classmates, study with them. I can\rquote t have them shunning me!\'94}{\insrsid14360907
}{\insrsid11103113
\'93They\rquote ll shun you because of what you do?\'94
\'93Maybe. But they\rquote ll certainly shun me if I say anything! I\rquote ll be a whore }{\ul\insrsid11103113\charrsid11103113 and}{\insrsid11103113 a bitch!\'94}{\insrsid10377715 }{\insrsid11103113 Lynn\rquote
s eyes were fire and her body was tense. }{\insrsid10377715 Mama bear was back. She just stared at me, the frustration and anger building.
Looking into her eyes, a solution hit me. }{\insrsid551338 She couldn\rquote t say anything, but I could. }{\insrsid10377715 I}{\insrsid6832073 t would cost, though}{\insrsid10377715 . But hadn\rquote t I told Bil
ly that sometimes one had to pay the price?}{\insrsid12338055
}{\insrsid551338
Billy would want me to do it.
I took a deep breath and began choosing my words. I needed my language to be precise. Lynn was still looking at me, her anger damped only a little.
}{\insrsid10377715 \'93}{\insrsid551338 Let me,\'94 I said. \'93I\rquote ll handle Greg.\'94 Lynn looked at me questioningly, but then gave a small nod of her head. I turned and took one final deep breath.}{\insrsid3171163
}\pard \ql \li0\ri0\widctlpar\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid10712351 {\insrsid551338
}{\insrsid10712351 I started walking over to Greg and the cluster of guys around him. About halfway there, I spoke up.
\'93Hey Greg, I thought I recognized you from the brothel!\'94 I pitched my voice loud enough for the entire room to hear. Greg and the guys around him stopped and stared at me.
\'93Yeah, I was there}{\insrsid7166632 in the brothel when you came back from your }{\i\insrsid7166632\charrsid7166632 session}{\insrsid10712351 ,\'94 I continued. \'93I used to think I was
so ugly that the only way I could get laid was to pay for it. Kind of funny to see someone like you with no obvious excuse there.\'94
Greg was starting to fluster, his eyes glancing around the rest of the partygoers, particularly the women, who were now all watching us. I turned to address the room.
\'93Yeah, I call myself \lquote The Ugly One}{\insrsid2426663 .}{\insrsid10712351 \rquote I thought I was too ugly for a woman to want me. Well, Lynn showed me I was wrong. Not until I had ruined the best thing to ever happen to me, unfortunately.\'94
I caught Barb\rquote s eye with that last sentence and she nodded slightly.
\'93Of course, in the process, I had to start seeing that Lynn was more than her job. She took it because she had to, in order pay for school. That took a lot of courage and a lot of strength. Pa
rticularly because she sometimes has to deal with guys who are jerks and assholes. They come to the brothels because they see all women as whores and what\rquote s the difference between buying her dinner and giving her cash?\'94
I turned to look Greg in the eye.
\'93So, Greg, why were you paying for sex? Didn\rquote t feel like buying any of the women here dinner?\'94 I swept my arm to indicate the entire room. Several women were glaring at Greg and he noticed. }{\insrsid10114354 Former dates, probably. }{
\insrsid10712351 That\rquote s when I turned back to him.
\'93Or maybe it\rquote s because you\rquote re so bad in bed that only a hooker would fuck you more than once.\'94
\'93YOU ASSHOLE!\'94 Greg yelled. He started to lunge forward, but the guys around him caught him and he was smart enough to not struggle. His face was contorted an
d turning red and he was clearly trying to regain control of his temper. I glanced over at Lynn, she mouthed \'93thank you.\'94 The room was still too quiet. I glanced down at my glass and then up at the room.
\'93I think I need another drink,\'94 I said to no one in particular. Then I made my escape to the kitchen. I could hear the conversation buzz starting behind me.
I stood at the refrigerator, shaking, for a little while. I should probably get out of here, I realized, before Greg calmed down enough to find
ways to get revenge. I wondered what price Lynn and I would pay for that. But I knew it was the right thing, and her whispered words confirmed it.
My mouth was cotton reduxe and I decided a drink would help. Reaching }{\insrsid10114354 toward the }{\insrsid7166632 beer}{\insrsid10712351 , I changed my mind }{\insrsid2426663 at the last minute, grabbing a C}{\insrsid10712351 oke }{\insrsid7166632
instead}{\insrsid10712351 . I might have gone too far with that last comment and I }{\insrsid7166632 would}{\insrsid10712351 need my wits if Greg decided to retaliate. Someone came up behind me.
\'93Hi.\'94 It was Angie. Oh God, it was Angie.
\'93Hi.\'94
\'93I got here late, but not too late. I heard what you said.\'94
\'93That I have paid for sex,\'94 I acknowledged.
\'93And the other part,\'94 she said. I furrowed my brow.
\'93About ruining the best thing that had ever happened to you,\'94 she clarified.
I nodded. \'93You were. I meant what I said on your voicemail.\'94
\'93I believe you now,\'94 she replied. I gave her a wan smile, which she returned.
\'93So Lynn\rquote s your friend that\rquote s the courtesan,\'94 she said.
\'93Yes. But we never did anything sexual together once you and I started going out.\'94
\'93I know. I can\rquote t see you two . . .well, I believe you.\'94
\'93Thanks.\'94 Angie started to look a little uncomfortable, like she had something left to say. I let the silence stretch.
}{\insrsid12417235 \'93Uh, John, when we went out--}{\insrsid10712351 those times were pretty good for me too. I don\rquote t think I\rquote ve had as much fun on a date with anyone else.\'94 Whoa. I hadn\rquote
t expected that. I brightened and smiled.
\'93We did have fun,\'94 I commented. Angie seemed relieved at my smile. \'93I really liked being with you.\'94
\'93Me too. Particularly kissing you.\'94 That brought genuine grins to both our faces. We just sat for a moment, and then Angie took a deep breath.
\'93So, John, would you like to give it another shot?\'94
\'93It?\'94
\'93Us.\'94
\'93I\rquote d love to.\'94 Angie let out a whoosh of breath and leaned back against the counter. She still seemed a little nervous, but obviously a great weight had been lifted from her. As it had from me.
There was some commotion from the other room, reminding me that Greg was still here.
\'93Um, look, Angie, I probably need to get going soon. I pointed toward the other room with my head and she nodded in agreement. \'93Can I call you tomorrow? Maybe get together for coffee and talk then?\'94
\'93Please.\'94
I walked over to her and placed my hands along her sides. She tilted her head up.
\'93May I?\'94 I asked. She nodded, smiling.
I bent my head and met her lips with my own. It was a short kiss, light really. }{\insrsid12722776 Just}{\insrsid10712351 a promise of things to come.
}{\insrsid6832073
}{\insrsid10314019 --fin--}{\insrsid6832073
\'a9 Copyright 2004. All rights reserved.
}\pard \ql \li0\ri0\widctlpar\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0 {\insrsid10712351
}