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\fs24\lang1033\langfe1033\cgrid\langnp1033\langfenp1033 {\insrsid2648819 Friends and Benefits}{\insrsid13918637
}{\insrsid2648819 Chapter Four
by be287m
Leaving }{\insrsid2514054 Denver was}{\insrsid2648819 like leaving a fog. As I drove south, away from}{\insrsid5507413 all the places that held memories of Alicia, my mind began to clear. I thought back on Allen\rquote
s words. Not only did I need better memories, I needed a purpose. I needed direction.}{\insrsid2648819
}{\insrsid5507413
For that entire day, I }{\insrsid7930994 did}{\insrsid5507413 . It was simple. Just get to the next gas stop. Then the next one after that. I\rquote d worry about Tucson when I got to Tucson. I\rquote
d worry about my graduate school career when I got to school. The day}{\insrsid5849289 ended up being the best one of the summer. Just me and the road. No cares. No pain.}{\insrsid5507413
}{\insrsid5849289
I\rquote d kept the lease on my apartment over the summer. }{\insrsid7930994 I\rquote d been in too much of a hurry to leave to try to get out of }{\insrsid13567177 it}{\insrsid7930994 . If I was frugal this next year, I\rquote d be okay. }{
\insrsid5849289 Everything was in good }{\insrsid11486302 shape when I arrived. No break-}{\insrsid5849289 ins. No problems inside other than a lot of dus
t. I crashed, sleeping soundly after a long day. The next morning I unpacked my stuff and headed to the post office to collect the mail that had been held for the summer.
Amongst all the junk mail was a card from Sharon. In it, she wished me good luck with the school year. She\rquote d added a goofy cartoon smiley after her signature. }{\insrsid9309637 I smiled}{\insrsid7930994 .}{\insrsid5849289
I stopped by campus to check the graduate student office and found nothing I needed to deal }{\insrsid2514054 with immediately}{\insrsid5849289 . A quick trip to the grocery store let me restock my ki
tchen and I found myself with a completely free afternoon.
I debated writing Sharon but remembered her request to call her later. I decided I could afford the long distance charges since I wouldn\rquote t be calling Alicia anymore. I\rquote d call Sharon after dinner
which meant I still had the afternoon to fill.
That\rquote s when my lagging gut caught up with my brain. Alicia. Oh.
There were memories of her here, in this apartment. Translucent ghosts hovering at every turn.
It was time for }{\insrsid15469890 an}{\insrsid5849289 exorcism.
}{\insrsid11406258
I got an old box out of the closet and started with the obvious things. Alicia\rquote s picture\emdash
into the box. The bundle of her letters--same fate. Then the mix tapes, the cutesy stuffed animal and all of the other gifts in obvious sight. Thinking about gifts got me rumma
ging through drawers for the Shakespeare Festival and concert t-shirts. Concerts }{\insrsid6255448 triggered other memories}{\insrsid11406258 and I walked back into the front room and stared at the poster on the wall.
It was the Melissa Etheridge poster that I\rquote d bought at the concert Alicia and I had attended in Denver in \rquote
89. Alicia had practically attacked me in the car on the way home. When I insisted on not pulling over, she yanked her jeans and panties to her ankles and proceeded to finger herself to a noisy orgasm. I\rquote d often smiled
when a glimpse of the poster reminded me of that night.
It went in the box.
Not everything that Alicia had given me was sent into exile. Some of the shirts had too slim an emotional attachment to warrant the bare spot in my closet. Similarly, the coff
ee mug had more associations with blurry mornings here in Tucson than it did with her. In the end, I still had an overflowing box.
Which went in }{\insrsid2514054 the back}{\insrsid11406258 corner of the closet. I sat in my front room and scanned for residual spirits.
I realized the sunlit patch }{\insrsid15553286 that }{\insrsid11406258 I\rquote d told Sharon about was likely to be a problem. }{\insrsid7930994 The memory of making love to Alicia in that spot was strong. }{\insrsid11406258
A little paper and some tape attached to the window at least broke up the pattern of shade and sun. If the sight still tugged in a few days, I could consider more radical and permanent solutions.
}{\insrsid5651288
The kitchen table was next. During Alicia\rquote s final visit, she\rquote d sat across from me during my home-cooked candle-lit dinner, doing a slow extended striptease. About every five minutes she\rquote
d remove another piece of clothing, refusing to let us set the meal aside the entire time. It wasn\rquote t until dessert had been consumed that she allowed me to taste her more personal treasures. The tease must have aroused her as much as
me judging by how quickly she}{\insrsid7930994 ha}{\insrsid5651288 d }{\insrsid3090071 come}{\insrsid5651288 under my tongue.
I broke out of my reverie and forced myself to consider the table. My apartment was too small to move it somewhere else. I settled for rotating it and shifting it about a foot. At least it looked different.
I couldn\rquote t do much about the bathroom. When Alicia and I had decided to \lquote christen\rquote every room, we\rquote d found the bathroom rather small. We\rquote d settled for doggie style kneeling on the floor. There wasn\rquote
t much I could do to make the place look different, but then I realized I didn\rquote t have to. Standing, I ha}{\insrsid15553286 d}{\insrsid5651288 to work to visualize our encounter. Since I wasn\rquote
t kneeling, the perspective was already different }{\insrsid6255448 enough }{\insrsid5651288 for the ghosts to have little sway.
I realized the bedroom memories were also rather jumbled. I moved around and stood in various places, seeing if any strong memories came back. In one place, I recalled standing and slowly undressing Alicia while we kissed. It wasn\rquote
t a strong memory, though. }{\insrsid15553286 The}{\insrsid5651288 corner where her bra had landed was all that jumped out at me}{\insrsid15553286 ,}{\insrsid5651288
but my fan nestled easily into the space and fixed the problem. Then I lay down on the bed.
When I had my eyes open, no particular memories came. When I closed them . . .
The vision of Alicia astride me appeared. She was leanin
g back and smiling as she slowly raised and lowered herself on my cock. She trailed her hands up her torso and began caressing her breasts, which had drawn a gasp from me at the time. The she leaned back a little further and reached down to caress my co
ck where we joined. Her touch had been very light but very memorable.
}{\insrsid3282561
I realized I\rquote d started unconsciously touching myself. All the memories about sex had gotten me aroused. That was reasonable, I realized. I shucked my shorts and began to stroke myself in earnest.
After a couple of minutes, my gut started to churn. It was hard to keep my fantasies on the sex with Alicia without bringing up all the additional emotional baggage. I didn\rquote t know how Sharon could continue to masturbate to fantasies of Allen.
That got me thinking about }{\insrsid6255448 Sharon\rquote s}{\insrsid3282561 pictures. I hopped up and grabbed them and returned to the bed. I }{\insrsid4659694
started stroking myself with one hand while I held a picture of Sharon in the other. I switched pictures a couple of times and came while looking at the picture where she\rquote
d been on the edge of touching herself. The thought of actually watching her masturbate was what pushed me over the edge.}{\insrsid3282561
}{\insrsid4659694
After I cleaned up, I started to feel a little guilty. I was sure Sharon hadn\rquote t given me the pictures for me to do what I\rquote
d just done. I also realized that I could never tell her about it as well. I could already imagine the look of disdain.
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\'93Wait a m}{\insrsid15089063 inute, Joe,\'94 Sherri interrupted. }{\insrsid11227900 \'93Why would she look at you with disdain?\'94
\'93Sharon did that sometimes. She could be incredibly supportive, but she could also cut you dead with a glance.}{\insrsid2828767 Usually when she didn\rquote t approve of something I said or did}{\insrsid3889296 .}{\insrsid11227900 \'94
}{\insrsid2828767
}{\insrsid15089063 \'93}{\insrsid11227900 So }{\insrsid2828767 she wouldn\rquote t approve of you}{\insrsid15089063 masturbating to pictures that }{\insrsid2828767 she }{\insrsid15089063 had given you?\'94}{\insrsid4659694
}{\insrsid15089063
\'93Well }{\insrsid2514054 . . .}{\insrsid15089063 yeah.\'94
\'93Why? Did she say not to? Or say something like these are for their \lquote artistic merit\rquote only?\'94
\'93No . . .\'94
\'93Then they\rquote re yours to do with what you want! They\rquote re your pictures, Joe!\'94
My chest was tight as I struggled to find words that would explain. I met Sherri\rquote s eyes and she gave me a small smile.
\'93I\rquote m not mad at you, Joe,\'94 she said softly. \'93The tone in my voice is to get your attention.\'94
\'93You did that,\'94 I grumbled.
\'93There\rquote s nothing wrong with private fantasies,\'94 Sherri stated. \'93You can dream about any woman or any encounter you want. Sharon, me, your mom, even Minnie Mouse.\'94
\'93I\rquote m not going to be fantasizing about Minnie Mouse.\'94
Sherri shrugged. \'93Even if you don\rquote t, there\rquote s nothing wrong with the fantasies. It\rquote s only when you try to make them real that there\rquote s the potential for problems.\'94
\'93Tell me about it,\'94 I muttered.
\'93Actually, }{\i\insrsid15089063\charrsid15089063 you}{\insrsid15089063 tell me about it.\'94
}{\insrsid6623983 I took a deep breath and nodded.}{\insrsid15089063
}{\insrsid6623983
\'93Well, I didn\rquote t try anything right away . . .}{\insrsid818923 .}{\insrsid6623983 \'94
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}\pard \ql \li0\ri0\widctlpar\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid14429739 {\insrsid14429739 I called Sharon that night as planned. She was }{\insrsid7930994 glad }{\insrsid14429739 that I\rquote
d enjoyed her card. I told her about the drive down and how calm it had been. She only asked a few questions, mostly logistical details, like}{\insrsid612586 }{\insrsid13567177 where I\rquote d stopped for meals on the drive}{
\insrsid612586\charrsid11479085 .}{\insrsid612586 When the conversation began to lull, I took a deep breath.}{\insrsid6623983
}{\insrsid612586
I got rid of all of Alicia\rquote s stuff,\'94 I blurted.
\'93You threw it out?\'94 she asked, }{\insrsid7930994 surprise}{\insrsid612586 in her voice.
\'93Oh, no! I put all of it in a box in the back of my closet.\'94
\'93I was about to say, Joe, you might want some of that some day.\'94
\'93Well, maybe.\'94
\'93I wouldn\rquote t throw it out,\'94 she said. \'93The closet is good.\'94
\'93Yeah, the closet\rquote s }{\insrsid6255448 will work}{\insrsid612586 .\'94
\'93}{\insrsid6255448 Good}{\insrsid612586 ,\'94 she agreed.
\'93I just needed to get rid of the ghosts,\'94 I said. \'93I didn\rquote t think it would be }{\insrsid6255448 healthy}{\insrsid612586 to be remembering Alicia every time I looked around my apartment.\'94
\'93I understand. That\rquote s part of why I had to move out of the dorm.\'94
\'93I thought it was the food,\'94 I joked. Sharon laughed.
\'93That too!\'94
\'93It was harder than I expected,\'94 I admitted. \'93There were more ghosts than I\rquote d expected and some of them were . . . explicit.\'94 Sharon chuckled.
\'93That\rquote s okay, Joe. I still find some of my memories of Allen . . . useful at times.\'94
\'93Useful?\'94 I probed, hoping. Sharon laughed again.
\'93Well, what do you expect, Joe? I can\rquote t exactly go buy a magazine like you guys.\'94
\'93Well, you can--\'94
}\pard \ql \li0\ri0\widctlpar\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid612586 {\insrsid6623983
}{\insrsid612586 \'93Photos don\rquote t do much for me, Joe.\'94 Sharon said, interrupting. \'93Stor}{\insrsid15553286 i}{\insrsid612586 es work a lot better.\'94
\'93I could get you some stories,\'94 I offered. \'93Online. Just save them from the story groups and print them out and mail them to you.\'94
Sharon chuckled again. That was good.
\'93Or you could get your own computer account,\'94 I suggested.
\'93I don\rquote t know how to do that,\'94 she replied.
\'93Okay. I\rquote ll mail you some stories.\'94
\'93Oh, okay. Why not?\'94
}{\insrsid5994158
I grinned to myself. I had an excuse to spend time online reading the alt.sex hierarchy now. Not that I really needed an excuse. While I was lost in my reverie, Sharon asked about the coming semester. I still ha
d no idea what I was going to do, so after quickly admitting that, I asked her about her upcoming semester. Sharon was actually excited about her classes and that carried the conversation long enough for me to begin worrying about my phone bill. Fortuna
tely, Sharon wasn\rquote t offended when I suggested we wind down the conversation.
}{\insrsid6255448 \'93I\rquote ll call you next time, \rquote }{\insrsid5994158 kay?\'94 She asked. \'93In a few days.}{\insrsid15553286 \'94}{\insrsid5994158
\'93Sure!\'94 I agreed. We said our goodbyes and hung up.
I sat for a moment holding the phone, before wandering into the bedroom. }{\insrsid1335808 The apartment was quiet. Too quiet. Sad, really. I lay on the bed, thinking about the upcoming semester. I had no idea what I was going to do. I\rquote
d registered for classes rather haphazardly, not actually expecting to be back to take them. Funny how dreams of life with Alicia had taken over. Now I was back, and I was alone.}{\insrsid5994158
}{\insrsid1335808
It didn\rquote t hurt so much. More the throbbing ache of an old injury. Not enough pain to prevent me from eventually drifting off to sleep.
}{\insrsid5969802 The next morning I awoke to brightness and broil. I\rquote d forgotten to close the window and the blinds and the morning desert sun was searing in the room. I stumbled up and closed them, but the damage had been }{\insrsid15553286
done. I was awake, and the oven}{\insrsid5969802 was too hellish to permit sleep. The swamp cooler helped some, but it was monsoon season and it wouldn\rquote t help for long. I tossed and turned before giving up and heading to the shower.}{
\insrsid1335808
}{\insrsid5969802
The hot water was bracing and not nearly the pleasure it was on a cool Colorado morning. For the umpteenth time, I cursed the desert and my decision to move to the desert. Not only had it shattered my relationship and my career, but it was too damn hot.
}{\i\insrsid5969802\charrsid5969802 So leave}{\insrsid5969802 . The thought teased as it had at the beginning of the summer. But}{\insrsid15553286 now . . . there was no urgency. J}{\insrsid5969802 ust the tease.
To leave. Not to run back to Alicia or run home. But to actually go somewhere. Out there. To go out there}{\insrsid15553286 , beyond the stars, as one science fiction movie had said.}{\insrsid5969802
}{\insrsid12865230
That\rquote s what had drawn me into astronomy--a childhood of Star Trek, Star Wars, Battlestar Galactica and every science fiction novel I could get my hands on.}{\insrsid3543109
It was coupled with the telescope Dad had given me at ten. Some of my best memories from my early teen years were bundling up against the cold as Dad drove us into the mountains, beyond the glare of Denver\rquote
s lights. We drank hot chocolate and I made notes in my yellow spiral notebook as we watched the meteor showers. When we got home, Mom would have strawberry pancakes and fresh orange juice}{\insrsid6255448 waiting}{\insrsid3543109
. Sometimes I could even miss the morning classes at school.}{\insrsid12865230
}{\insrsid3543109
So how had I gotten here?
Well, the University of Arizona was the best. But I\rquote d gotten nowhere near the big telescopes on }{\insrsid12660072 Mt. Graham}{\insrsid3543109 . I was stuck studying cosmology and gravitational constants. Things I didn\rquote t gi
ve a damn about.
I turned off the water and dried off, which was trivially easy in the heat. I remembered Allen\rquote s advice again. I still had no clue as to my destination, but I knew I needed to move.
Later in the morning, }{\insrsid3742980 I entered the department office. I asked for the course catalog but spent my time studying the degree requirements.}{\insrsid9055572 If I settled for a terminal master\rquote
s degree, I could be done in a year, maybe a little more. Even better, the classes overlapped enough with the Ph.D. courses so that I wouldn\rquote
t have to tell anyone about my change of plans until the last minute. That meant I could keep my scholarship.}{\insrsid3543109
}{\insrsid9055572
Whistling, I modified my fall class schedule, dropping one course and adding another. The secretary commented on my happiness, but I just smiled and didn\rquote t explain.}{\insrsid13458497
Then I ran some errands and headed back to my apartment. I couldn\rquote t wait to tell Sharon about my decision.}{\insrsid9055572
}{\insrsid13458497
}{\insrsid6908542 Of course, I did have to wait. Daytime long distance was still beyond my budget. Instead, I fired up the computer and my modem and logged into my university account. I got a coke while the machines were shaking hands. Some day I sho
uld upgrade my modem to 2400 baud, I mused. But today I was in no hurry.}{\insrsid13458497
}{\insrsid6908542
There was a huge backlog of unread posts in alt.sex.stories and its }{\insrsid15599405 sister}{\insrsid6908542 newgroups. I spent most of the afternoon reading. The majority of the
posts were simple stroke stories. I breezed through them pretty quickly. A few caught my attention because they rang true in ways the others didn\rquote t. I ended up saving a couple of them. Then I hit one I knew Sharon would love.
}{\insrsid15146369 It had well}{\insrsid7930994 -}{\insrsid15146369 developed characters and involved taking a purity test at a party. Allen, Alicia, Sharon and I had done that once together, revealing only }{\insrsid6255448 our }{\insrsid15146369
scores and not the answers to questions. I scrolled back up to the top. \'93Unwrap Party,\'94 by Jordan Shelbourne. I didn\rquote t recognize the name, so he was probably new. Good writer though. I dumped it to the printer.}{\insrsid6908542
}{\insrsid15146369
It had gotten late enough for me to call Sharon. She answered on the third ring.
}{\insrsid10689999
\'93That\rquote s great!\'94 she said when she\rquote d heard my news. \'93I\rquote m glad you\rquote ve got some time before you have to make a decision about school!\'94
\'93Well,\'94 I admitted, \'93I hadn\rquote t thought of it that way. I thought I was making a decision.\'94
\'93Well, you did. But I meant that you don\rquote t have to leave school right away.\'94
\'93The advantage of scholarships,\'94 I }{\insrsid7930994 stated}{\insrsid10689999 .
\'93Yeah, I wish I was so lucky,\'94 Sharon said.
\'93It wasn\rquote t luck,\'94 I argued. \'93I worked pretty damn hard as an undergrad to earn that scholarship.\'94
\'93True. You didn\rquote t do much besides study and spend time with Alicia, did you?\'94
\'93Ehhh, I spent some time with Allen on occasion.\'94
\'93Without me or Alicia?\'94
\'93Okay, not that much time,\'94 I admitted.
\'93So,\'94 Sharon asked, \'93do you think you\rquote ll be able to come back to Colorado?\'94
\'93Depends on the job offers. I have no idea what non-Ph.D. astronomers do.\'94
\'93You\rquote ll find something.\'94
\'93Yeah.\'94 In all honesty, I }{\insrsid7930994 was clueless about what was out there}{\insrsid10689999 . But I didn\rquote t want}{\insrsid15677701 to think about it right now.}{\insrsid10689999
}{\insrsid15677701
\'93So, how was your day? I guess I just talked to you yesterday so there\rquote s not a lot of news.\'94
\'93Nope. I worked. I came home. I fixed dinner. I\rquote m going to soak in the tub later and read a book.\'94
}{\insrsid12787004
\'93Oh?\'94 I asked.}{\insrsid7824472 \'93What\rquote s the book?\'94}{\insrsid12787004
}{\insrsid7824472
\'93}{\ul\insrsid7824472\charrsid7824472 Aztec}{\insrsid7824472 , by Gary Jennings.\'94
\'93Any good?\'94
\'93I\rquote m enjoying it. You might too. It\rquote s got some good steamy parts.\'94 I could hear the leer in her voice.
\'93What happens in them?\'94
\'93You\rquote ll have to read it,\'94 Sharon replied.
\'93Will you loan it to me?\'94 I asked.
\'93Sure.\'94
\'93Great! And speaking of reading material, I should have some stories in the mail to you tomorrow.\'94 Sharon chuckled again.
\'93Already getting them from the computer groups, eh?\'94
\'93Hey, a guy\rquote s gotta do something.\'94
}{\insrsid8677088 \'93Sure, Joe. You just needed an excuse to spend all day on the computer.\'94}{\insrsid7824472
}{\insrsid8677088
Busted. I didn\rquote t say anything. I didn\rquote t know what to say, really.
\'93Just when do classes start?\'94 Sharon asked, taking me off the hook.
\'93Day after tomorrow.\'94
\'93Tell me about the new ones.\'94
With that invitation, I launched into a detailed discussion of my new academic plans. Sharon made encouraging noises at appropriate spots and it was some t
ime before I remembered to shut up and ask her about her upcoming classes. Since nothing had changed since we\rquote d last talked about her upcoming semester, the conversation rapidly wound down.
\'93I suppose I should let you go,\'94 I finally said.
}{\insrsid13728305 \'93Yeah, I want to get to my bath. It\rquote s a little cool standing here,\'94 Sharon replied}{\insrsid12084986 .}{\insrsid8677088
}{\insrsid13728305
\'93Huh?\'94
\'93I didn\rquote t grab my robe when I went to answer the phone,\'94 Sharon explained.
\'93Oh? So you\rquote ve been naked the entire time we\rquote ve been talking?\'94 I asked. Sharon chuckled.
\'93One of the advantages of the phone. I can be as naked as I like and no one needs to know.\'94 I rolled my eyes.
\'93Well, enjoy your bath, then.\'94
\'93I will!\'94
We said our goodbyes and hung up. Rather than sit and speculate about what Sharon had looked like while talking to me, I set about bundling up the stories I\rquote
d saved for her and getting the large shipping envelope ready to go. I certainly hoped she\rquote d like them. I figured the }{\insrsid6255448 worst case was that she didn\rquote t}{\insrsid13728305 , in which case I just wouldn\rquote t send any more.
Sharon}{\insrsid1322956 did like them, though. In our phone call the following week, s}{\insrsid13728305 he }{\insrsid1322956 joked about some of the less well}{\insrsid7930994 -}{\insrsid1322956 written ones before telling me that she\rquote d really
liked }{\insrsid7869226 \'93}{\insrsid1322956\charrsid7869226 Unwrap Party.}{\insrsid7869226\charrsid7869226 \'94}{\insrsid1322956\charrsid7869226 }{\insrsid1322956
We talked about our own purity test scores and I poked at her answers to specific questions, but she refused to answer. Near the end of the conversation, I asked if it was okay for me to send more stories. She said \'93sure\'94 and I was
on the computer almost as soon as we were off the phone.}{\insrsid7824472
}{\insrsid1322956
That started a pattern that lasted for several weeks. I\rquote d build up a collection of stories that I thought Sharon would like and mail them off. After she got them, we\rquote d talk on the phone about whi
ch ones she liked and why. Most of the time it boiled down to the fact that she preferred the }{\insrsid9309637 character-}{\insrsid7930994 driven}{\insrsid1322956 ones over the purely graphic ones. But }{\insrsid7930994 for Sharon}{\insrsid13567177 ,}
{\insrsid7930994 }{\insrsid1322956 even a well written stroke story couldn\rquote t hold a candle to one tinged with romance. }{\insrsid11091175 Particu
larly with extremely confident male leads who displayed sophisticated tastes. It was late October before I grew bold enough to act on those observations.}{\insrsid1322956
}{\insrsid11091175
}{\insrsid5139344 Sharon and I had just gotten off the phone and she\rquote d told me about the snow that had fallen. Not much, of course, as }{\insrsid7930994 f}{\insrsid5139344 all snows }{\insrsid6255448 in Colorado }{\insrsid5139344
tend to be sloppy rather than serious. But it got me thinking about an earlier conversation where she\rquote d talked about curling up in front of the fire with Allen on a ski trip. If I added a bed to the room . . . }{\insrsid818923 .}{
\insrsid11091175
}{\insrsid7930994
}{\insrsid7869226 \'93I love it!\'94 Sharon exclaimed during our next phone call.
\'93Love what?\'94
}{\insrsid2714474 \'93\lquote }{\insrsid15738864 In Front of the Fire}{\insrsid2714474 .\rquote }{\insrsid7869226 It\rquote s the best one you\rquote ve sent.\'94
\'93Really?\'94 I asked. \'93Despite bein}{\insrsid15998020 g written in second person?\'94}{\insrsid7869226
}{\insrsid15998020
\'93Oh, that\rquote s part of what made it great! Particularly because the two characters were never described or named. I could }{\i\insrsid15998020\charrsid15998020 easily}{\insrsid15998020 see myself in the story.\'94
\'93So you really liked it?\'94 I asked, tentatively.
\'93God, Joe. Enough to take it to the bath with me. Which reminds me, can you send me another copy? The printout got a little wet.\'94
\'93Sure,\'94 I answered automatically. Wow. She\rquote d really liked it.
\'93You didn\rquote t list an author,\'94 Sharon then pointed out. \'93Who wrote it? I\rquote d like to get more of this person\rquote s stuff.\'94
\'93Uhh, I did. I wrote it myself.\'94
Sharon burst out laughing. That wasn\rquote t the response I\rquote d hoped for. She quickly got control of herself though.
\'93I\rquote m sorry, Joe. I wasn\rquote t laughing at you so much as I was laughing at myself. I have gotten so used to thinking of you as an astronomer that I was surprised at the thought of you being a writer. But there\rquote s no reason you couldn
\rquote t be, of course.\'94
}{\insrsid15100152
\'93Thanks. I think.\'94
\'93Really, Joe, I think it\rquote s g}{\insrsid13001621 reat that you could write this. You have talents I didn\rquote t know about.\'94
\'93Well, what can I say?\'94}{\insrsid12787004
}{\insrsid13001621
\'93You can say \lquote Glad you liked it.\rquote \'94
\'93Glad you liked it, then,\'94 I replied. \'93I was inspired by the snow you guys got.\'94
\'93Yeah. That storm gave me an interesting idea . . .\'94 Sharon\rquote s voice trailed off and I just paused and waited.
}{\insrsid15738864
\'93Well, feel free to write me some more stories,\'94 she said abruptly.
\'93Will do! If I think of anything good,\'94 I replied.
\'93I\rquote m sure you will.\'94
}{\insrsid867301
Unfortunately, Sharon\rquote s words were less than prescient. I was due for another round of mid-terms and wasn\rquote t able to concentrate on the }{\insrsid7930994 writing}{\insrsid867301
. The few pieces I did write were wooden and flat. Completely frustrated, the next couple of packages I sent contained nothing but stories from the newsgroups.
It was three weeks from that call when I got a bulky package from Sharon. It was a story, typed on her own PC. She\rquote }{\insrsid7669503 d}{\insrsid867301 scrawled \'93I hope you like it!\'94 across the top of the first page.
It was written in second person, just like mine. It involved the protagonist discovering his girlfriend was only wearing a garter belt and stockings under her winter coat. }{\insrsid15732111 It wasn\rquote t that long and there wasn\rquote
t much sex. Mostly a slow sensual tease of discovery.}{\insrsid867301
}{\insrsid15732111
I called her that night.
\'93Okay, I loved it,\'94 I admitted. Sharon gave a small cheer on the other end of the phone. \'93I particularly loved the fact that she was wearing a garter belt. I love garter belts.\'94
\'93Really?\'94 Sharon asked.
\'93Really. Every woman should own one. You got it right in one.\'94
}{\insrsid6383383 \'93Well, I\rquote m glad you liked it,\'94 she said. \'93I enjoyed writing it.\'94}{\insrsid15732111
}{\insrsid6383383
\'93You\rquote ve got a good imagination for sex,\'94 I commented.
\'93Oh, you have no idea,\'94 she chuckled.
\'93Care to enlighten me?\'94
\'93Not tonight, Joe. But maybe sometime.\'94
\'93I can }{\i\insrsid6383383\charrsid6383383 hard}{\insrsid6383383 ly wait.\'94 That happily drew a chuckle rather than a snort of disdain.
}{\insrsid14056591
We caught up on the last few days like we always did, but the phone call was short, barely twenty minutes, because Sharon had to study. Me, I took the story back to bed where I read it again, this time, holding it with one hand.
}\pard \qc \li0\ri0\widctlpar\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid14056591 {\insrsid14056591 * * *
}\pard \ql \li0\ri0\widctlpar\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid612586 {\insrsid13001621
}{\insrsid3157026 \'93Stop, Joe,\'94 Sherri ordered.}{\insrsid2768928 \'93Yo}{\insrsid14827982 u fe}{\insrsid2768928 l}{\insrsid14827982 t}{\insrsid2768928 guilty jacking off to her pictures, but not to her story.\'94 I hemmed and hawed for a moment.
\'93Well. . . I felt like I had her permission, with the story. The photos . . .\'94
\'93She gave those to you too.\'94
\'93Yeah, but it was . . . more like they were for art and not for \lquote jacking off.\rquote It would have been like }{\insrsid8267649 masturbating to the Venus}{\insrsid14827982 de Milo}{\insrsid8267649 or one of those renaissance paintings.\'94}{
\insrsid2768928
}{\insrsid8267649
}{\insrsid14827982 \'93I\rquote m sure people have done it,}{\insrsid8267649 \'94}{\insrsid14827982 Sherri said with a smirk.}{\insrsid8267649
\'93Well, yeah, but I still don\rquote t think Sharon would have liked it.\'94
}{\insrsid1134844 Sherri\rquote s eyes softened as she looked at me. She tilted her head for a moment before speaking.}{\insrsid8267649
}{\insrsid1134844
\'93Sharon\rquote s opinion means a lot to you, doesn\rquote t it?\'94
I nodded, then answered slowly.
\'93She was there for me. Every time I got lonely, sitting in tha}{\insrsid6255448 t apartment in Tucson by myself}{\insrsid1134844 , I could call. Or write, if I\rquote d already spent the month\rquote s long distance budget. }{\insrsid14827982
She was a great friend that year. In fact, my best friend.\'94}{\insrsid1134844
}{\insrsid14827982
\'93And now?\'94
I let out a deep sigh and looked away. I didn\rquote t answer.
}{\insrsid11025774
\'93Did you ever tell Sharon that you\rquote d masturbated to her pictures?\'94
\'93No. She would have been angry.\'94
\'93You sure?\'94
I let out a deep breath. \'93No, not entirely.\'94
}{\insrsid15808225
\'93So,\'94 Sherri continued probing, \'93}{\insrsid13384629 were you feeling guilty or scared?\'94
I just stared at her, mouth open. It was getting harder to breathe.
\'93They\rquote re not the same thing,\'94 she }{\insrsid14566520 continued}{\insrsid13384629 .
\'93I know.\'94 I didn\rquote t want to continue with this discussion. Fortunately, I was saved by the server bring the check over. }{\insrsid11025774 Sherri pushed the bill toward me. I }{\insrsid13384629 quickly checked it, then}{\insrsid11025774
put my credit card on top. }{\insrsid12195119 We waited }{\insrsid9642400 in silence }{\insrsid12195119 while our server scurried to pick it up.}{\insrsid7348654
}{\insrsid14566520 Unfortunately, Sherri didn\rquote t let the interruption}{\insrsid7348654 distract her. Her mouth was smiling, but her eyes were iron, pinning me. She didn\rquote t say anything but I still squirmed.}{\insrsid1077108
}{\insrsid7348654
\'93I guess I was scared of what she\rquote d say, or how she\rquote d look at me,\'94 I finally blurted.
\'93It\rquote s okay,\'94 Sherri said. She reached across the table and took my hand.}{\insrsid13649028 \'93There\rquote s nothing wrong with being afraid from time to time. The question is what you do with the fear.\'94
\'93Like what?\'94
}{\insrsid7154338 \'93Do you face it, or run away?\'94
\'93I don\rquote t see how I was running away}{\insrsid5398886 by not telling Sharon what I was doing with her pictures}{\insrsid7154338 ,\'94 I shot back.
Sherri looked at me, but then thought better of whatever she was going to say. }{\insrsid13649028 }{\insrsid7154338 We sat in silence, me fuming until she squeezed my hand again. I looked down to see my palm in hers. Sherri wasn\rquote
t my enemy. She was trying to be my friend}{\insrsid11227900 , err, paid friend.}{\insrsid7348654
}{\insrsid11025774
}{\insrsid11479085 \'93So what now?\'94 I asked, when the credit card receipts returned.
\'93Do you have to work tomorrow?\'94
\'93I called in sick today. It wouldn\rquote t be too strange for me to call in sick tomorrow.}{\insrsid10119328 \'94}{\insrsid11479085
}{\insrsid10119328
\'93You won\rquote t get in trouble?\'94}{\insrsid1473079 Sherri asked.}{\insrsid10119328
}{\insrsid1473079
\'93I shouldn\rquote t. My boss is a pretty understanding guy and I\rquote m ahead of schedule on my work.\'94
\'93So what do you do?\'94
\'93I analyze data from the Hubble Space Telescope.\'94
\'93Really?\'94 Sherri\rquote s eyes lit up. \'93So you found a job in astronomy after all!\'94
\'93Well, it\rquote s not much of a job. My boss is one of the Hubble Scientists, }{\insrsid2514054 who}{\insrsid1473079
gets to pick where they point the telescope and what images they take. He has a couple of us to crunch the data for him, so in many ways I\rquote m just a glorified programmer.\'94
\'93But it\rquote s still astronomy,\'94 she said.
\'93Yeah, and I do get to work at Goddard. I\rquote m a support contractor and not a civil servant, but it\rquote s still NASA.\'94
\'93See, some things worked out,\'94 Sherri pointed out.
\'93I guess.\'94
\'93And this will too.\'94 Her tone was too firm to argue with, so I just nodded in agreement.
}{\insrsid6255448 \'93Now, s}{\insrsid1473079 ince you don\rquote t have to }{\insrsid5247631 go into the office}{\insrsid1473079 tomorrow, let\rquote s go back to your place.\'94
}{\insrsid5247631
\'93My place?\'94
\'93Where }{\insrsid4224489 better?\'94 she replied}{\insrsid5247631 .}{\insrsid7682051 With that, Sherri stood and started walking toward the entrance, checking back to make sure I was following.}{\insrsid5247631
}{\insrsid7682051
I didn\rquote t have the foggiest idea what she had in mind for back at my place, but I figured that there was only one way to find out.
}{\insrsid13001621
}{\insrsid7682051 --End Chapter Four}{\insrsid7154338 \emdash }{\insrsid5969802
}{\insrsid7154338 Author\rquote s Note: \'93Unwrap Party\'94 by Jordan Shelbourne can be found at }{\insrsid221399\charrsid221399 http://storiesonline.net/story/33627}{\insrsid7154338\charrsid221399
}\pard \ql \li0\ri0\widctlpar\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid7682051 {\insrsid7682051 \'a9 2005 All rights reserved. May not be archived or distributed other than for personal use without explicit permission from the author.
}\pard \ql \li0\ri0\widctlpar\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\ql \li0\ri0\widctlpar\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\pnrdate-963239917\pnrnot1\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid7682051 {\insrsid11227900
}