REWIND
CHAPTER EIGHT
\ldblquote I KNOW WE HAD TO TRY, TO REACH UP AND TOUCH THE SKY BABY, WHATEVER HAPPENED TO YOU AND I?\rdblquote
\pard APRIL 19th, 1979
\b0
I got a phone call. \ldblquote Hello?\rdblquote I said.
\ldblquote Well, I hear you\rquote re putting that tongue to good use!\rdblquote the laughing voice on the other side of the phone said. It was Kara.
I laughed back. \ldblquote I take it you\rquote ve been talking to Kelly.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Of course. I always talk to Kelly.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Well, of course you do, but you have to admit, this is strange. My girlfriend talking to my ex-girlfriend about our sex life!\rdblquote
\ldblquote I am far more than a mere ex-girlfriend,\rdblquote she sniffed. \ldblquote I\rquote m Kelly\rquote s best friend and one of yours.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Yes, but, you know what I mean.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Yeah, true,\rdblquote she giggled. \ldblquote You\rquote ll just have to get used to it.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I know. It\rquote s fine, really. It\rquote s just a little weird.\rdblquote
\ldblquote OK, I guess it is. But that\rquote s just us. Let\rquote s face it, we had the most amicable breakup in the history of romance.\rdblquote
\ldblquote That much is true,\rdblquote I agreed.
\ldblquote Anyhow, Eddie, I do have to warn you.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Warn me?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Yes,\rdblquote she said, and then laughed. \ldblquote You flipped a switch yesterday. Big time. You now have one extremely horny girlfriend on your hands.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Figured that one out all by my lonesome,\rdblquote I told her. She cracked up at that. \ldblquote Of course, I\rquote ve been there before,\rdblquote I teased.
\ldblquote I wasn\rquote t as bad as Kelly is. I was bad, but not \b that\b0 bad.\rdblquote She sighed. \ldblquote Of course, you satisfied it. Unlike some other people.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Uh-oh. Trouble in paradise?\rdblquote
She sighed again, deeper this time. \ldblquote Dave\rquote s a hell of a nice guy. He treats me as well as you did, and miles better than Jim ever did. But the sex is just OK. He\rquote s never done that--you know, with his mouth.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Have you asked?\rdblquote
She seemed surprised at that question. \ldblquote Well, no. Should I?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Why not?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Well, you just did it.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Let me ask you a question--is Dave very experienced?\rdblquote
\ldblquote No, not at all,\rdblquote she said, confirming my suspicions. \ldblquote In fact, I was his first.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Was he awkward and hesitant and stuff?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Some, yeah. Now that you mention it, yeah.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Well, there you go. Listen, Kara, going down on a girl is rather intimate. It\rquote s also, I guess, scary. If a guy doesn\rquote t know what he\rquote s getting into, he might be hesitant to try. But if you ask, that\rquote s different. Have you ever given him a blowjob?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Yeah, a couple of times.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Well, the next time you do, just ask him if he\rquote ll return the favor.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Hmmm,\rdblquote she mused. \ldblquote I guess I\rquote m just surprised. Especially since, as I said, I never had to ask you. You just did it.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I\rquote m not normal,\rdblquote I laughed.
\ldblquote Too true,\rdblquote she teased back.\line
\ldblquote You just shut up. What I meant was that my upbringing isn\rquote t all that normal. This is a pretty open house, especially where my dad is concerned. You don\rquote t think he knows I read all those Playboys and Penthouses he leaves lying around? Of course he does. I can also ask him anything. I \b knew\b0 you\rquote d like it if I went down on you. And I knew the taste wasn\rquote t going to gross me out or anything like that, because I\rquote d read about it. Dave might not know all that.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Good point,\rdblquote she agreed. \ldblquote Now I just have to get up the gumption to bring it up to him.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Like I said, after you blow him. When he\rquote s all post-orgasmic and happy and shit; that\rquote s when you spring it on him.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Good plan,\rdblquote she laughed.
\b APRIL 20th, 1979\b0
I needed money.
Look, I had sporting events I knew the outcome to, and stocks that I knew would make me some money. But I needed money to do those things.
The paper route just wasn\rquote t cutting it. I needed a job.
However, I didn\rquote t want some of the crummy jobs I\rquote d had the first time. I was only 14 so I was limited in what I could do. I\rquote d worked at a donut shop as a clean-up guy. I worked on a mural in a playground (painting was \b not\b0 my thing.) Later on, when I was 16, I worked in a supermarket as a bagger. They all sucked.
So, I came up with an idea. \ldblquote Hey, Dad?\rdblquote I said to him as we were sitting around this night. \ldblquote The business is going really well, isn\rquote t it?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Very well. I just hired another guy.\rdblquote Preventing The Eye had done a lot for our financial situation. Dad was doing well.
\ldblquote Mom does your books, doesn\rquote t she?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Yes, but it\rquote s become a struggle since she went full time.\rdblquote Mom had been working part time at the hospital, but had just taken a full-time position. \ldblquote She has too much to do.\rdblquote He grinned at me. \ldblquote You \b could\b0 help her out by doing more around the house.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I\rquote m sure I could,\rdblquote I grinned back, \ldblquote but I have a better idea.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Of course you do.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Seriously. You\rquote re bringing in enough to hire someone to do the books.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Sure, but I\rquote m not entirely comfortable with that. I do everything on the up-and-up, but I\rquote d still prefer to keep it in the family.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Right. So hire me. I need a job. I figure, to do it right, it\rquote s about twenty hours a week. That\rquote d be fine for me--I could do the books, send out your bills, all that. I need to make some money and I don\rquote t want to go work at McDonald\rquote s or something else crappy.\rdblquote
He thought for a minute. \ldblquote You think you could do it?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Sure. I\rquote m good at math. I know the basics of bookkeeping, Mom explained them to me. She\rquote d just have to train me a little as to how your books are set up. I could do it without a problem. And I could be flexible with the hours as long as I get them done every week, which works for me being in school.\rdblquote
He thought for another minute, and said, \ldblquote You know, that\rquote s a hell of an idea. If you can do them, it\rquote s a hell of an idea. Let me discuss it with your mother.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Sure.\rdblquote
Mom agreed, and quickly arranged to show me the ropes. I think she was glad to get them off her hands! Dad gave me a fair wage, and I started doing his books for him. I enjoyed it. It was much less mindless than most jobs for teenagers. Hell, it was less mindless than what I had been doing in my adult life! And I sure enjoyed the money!
\b APRIL 29th, 1979\b0
Money was something I needed right about then. I had a gift to buy.
It was, you see, Beth\rquote s fifteenth birthday.
I got her a pendant. It was a gold heart on a gold chain, and the heart was engraved \ldblquote Beffy.\rdblquote Yes, Kelly knew about it; in fact, she\rquote d gone with me to get it. Imagine that--going with your boyfriend to pick out a piece of jewelry for another girl! But Kelly was remarkably not jealous, plus she knew why I\rquote d do something like this for Beth.
So, today, we went over Beth\rquote s house, my mother and I. When she opened it, she squealed--and wrapped me in a bear hug.
\ldblquote You are the best friend in the world!\rdblquote
Damn, that made me feel good!
\b JUNE 5th, 1979\b0
Michelle had a new boyfriend. And it wasn\rquote t Stan.
It was this guy named Mike Richardson, who I knew slightly. He seemed like a nice guy. Michelle was happy. They\rquote d started going out a few weeks ago.
But Stan had blown it, and he knew it. We ate lunch once the previous week and he was disconsolate. \ldblquote Why the hell didn\rquote t I ask her out when I had the chance?\rdblquote he moaned.
\ldblquote Don\rquote t look at me--I told you to,\rdblquote I said.
\ldblquote I know you did. Damn, I feel like such an idiot.\rdblquote
On this day, the fifth, Kelly wasn\rquote t in school (she had a flu bug--I went to her house after school and nursed her for a bit!). Michelle\rquote s boyfriend had something to do during lunch. So, Michelle pulled me aside and asked to eat lunch with me. We found a side table.
\ldblquote Stan hates me, doesn\rquote t he?\rdblquote Michelle asked.
\ldblquote Honestly, Michelle, I think he hates himself more.\rdblquote
She sighed. \ldblquote Eddie, he dithered around so much that I thought maybe I was wrong, that he \b didn\rquote t\b0 like me. So, when Mike asked me out, I said yes. And now Stan looks like I slapped him in the face. I feel horrible.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Look, Michelle, it\rquote s Stan\rquote s own fault and he knows it. He\rquote s never said anything bad to me about you. On the contrary, it\rquote s all about what an idiot \b he\b0 was.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Oh. Well, that makes me feel less guilty, anyhow. I just, I don\rquote t know...I really like Mike, but I miss being friends with Stan. He won\rquote t even talk to me now, really.\rdblquote
\ldblquote He\rquote s ashamed, and pissed at himself.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I know. I don\rquote t know what to do about it.\rdblquote
\ldblquote It\rquote s not your problem, Michelle, it\rquote s his,\rdblquote I maintained. \ldblquote He knows that.\rdblquote
\ldblquote He was one of my best friends. I want that back. I just--well, Mike\rquote s a nice guy and I was sick of being alone.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I know. Look, I\rquote ll see what I can do, OK?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Thanks.\rdblquote
That night I called Stan on the phone. \ldblquote I saw you eating with Michelle,\rdblquote he said. \ldblquote What did she want?\rdblquote
\ldblquote She wanted to know how you were,\rdblquote I said.
He snorted. \ldblquote She cares?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Of course she does, Stan, you big idiot. She thought you were mad at her. I told her you were madder at yourself.\rdblquote
\ldblquote That much is true,\rdblquote he agreed.
\ldblquote She misses your friendship.\rdblquote
\ldblquote How the hell can I be friends with her knowing my stupidity is why she\rquote s with another guy?\rdblquote
\ldblquote I\rquote ll tell you how,\rdblquote I said. \ldblquote You just do it. Because it\rquote s not going to last. Mark my words, Michelle and Mike aren\rquote t going to last. Now, understand, she didn\rquote t tell me this. She tells me how much she likes him. Let\rquote s just say I\rquote m reading between the lines. Be her friend, Stan. Opportunity is going to come around again.\rdblquote
\ldblquote You think?\rdblquote
\ldblquote I do. Stan, you\rquote re what, almost 15? We\rquote re not even in high school yet? Be her friend for now. Trust me.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Easy for you to say, mister three-girlfriends-in-a-year,\rdblquote he laughed.
\ldblquote I know,\rdblquote I agreed, \ldblquote but that\rquote s part of why I\rquote m telling you this. Remember, Kelly\rquote s liked me all along, and I was going out with her best friend. She bided her time and when I was free--as she knew I would be sooner or later--she moved in. Get me?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Oooh, good point.\rdblquote
\b
JUNE 12th, 1979\b0
He put my advice into action right away. He sat right with us at lunch the next day, greeting Michelle with a cheery, \ldblquote Hi, Sarge. How\rquote s that short-skirt-with-fishnets outfit coming?\rdblquote Michelle was delighted.
Mike, her new boyfriend, was not. Like I said, I\rquote d thought he was a nice guy though I didn\rquote t know him well. Now, his snarky side reared its ugly head. He saw Stan as a threat, and subtly tried to belittle him.
I have no doubt he would\rquote ve tried to do the same to me, based on Michelle\rquote s close friendship with me, if it weren\rquote t for Kelly. The way Kelly and I mooned over one another made it quite clear that I was not available. Then again, I would\rquote ve been harder to belittle than Stan was. Mike instantly veered onto Stan\rquote s main weakness--his insecurity concerning his intelligence as compared to Michelle\rquote s. Mike was almost as smart as Michelle was. Book-smart, I mean. Stan was smarter in other ways. But sometimes he couldn\rquote t see that--if he had, he would\rquote ve actually asked Michelle out--and Mike preyed on that.
On this day, I decided defensive measures were in order. Stan plopped down at lunch and said, \ldblquote Man, am I glad that school is almost done for the year!\rdblquote
Mike piped up with, \ldblquote Yeah, if I were you, I\rquote d be glad, too. I\rquote m sure this place strains \b your\b0 brain to the max. You\rquote ll be able to rest it all summer.\rdblquote
Stan didn\rquote t look happy. Neither, for that matter, did Michelle. Before either of them could say anything, however, I steered the conversation. \ldblquote Nah, he won\rquote t be able to rest his brain. He\rquote ll spend the whole summer learning new songs on the guitar, if I know him.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Yup,\rdblquote Stan agreed, relieved. \ldblquote Oh, did I tell you? I almost got Born To Run down. Got the whole main body of the song. The solo\rquote s a bitch, though.\line
\ldblquote That it is,\rdblquote I agreed. \ldblquote This is why I play rhythm.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Good thing you don\rquote t play bass,\rdblquote Michelle interjected, picking right up on the change in conversation. \ldblquote The bass part to that song is no prize. Especially the middle section--the \lquote Beyond the valley, hemi-powered drones\rquote part. I\rquote ve finally learned it, more or less.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Oh, I know, the bass jumps all over the place at that part,\rdblquote I agreed.
\ldblquote What the hell are you talking about?\rdblquote Mike said.
\ldblquote Guitars,\rdblquote Michelle answered sweetly. \ldblquote Stan and Eddie both play guitar. I play bass guitar.\rdblquote
\ldblquote You WHAT?\rdblquote he blurted.
\ldblquote I never told you that? Yeah, I took up bass last summer. I\rquote m still learning it. I\rquote d like to play in a band someday.\rdblquote Mike looked sour at that. \ldblquote Anyhow, Eddie, since you turned me on to the Beach Boys--jeez. I\rquote ve tried the bass line to Wouldn\rquote t It Be Nice for three months. That one is brutal.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Yes, it is,\rdblquote I agreed. The three of us went on for a while like that. Poor Mike was fuming!
When I talked to Stan later, I said something. \ldblquote Hang in there.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I\rquote ll try. Thanks for the save today. I wanted to punch him.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I know. But did you see how Michelle went right with it?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Yes, I did,\rdblquote he said with a huge grin.
I was glad to help. Stan didn\rquote t deserve to be belittled. And Mike was certainly showing a nasty streak lately, while Stan was just being a good friend. I wondered how long it would take for Michelle to figure stuff out.
\b JUNE 16th, 1979\b0
I didn\rquote t have any such worries with my own love life, thankfully. I was with who I wanted to be with, and everything was great. I was about to leave 9th grade behind and head to high school with Kelly. Beth was still here, still my best friend. I was making decent money working for my Dad. Life was fine.
On this day, Saturday the sixteenth, it got even better.
Kelly and I hadn\rquote t been frightened away by nearly getting caught back in April. We still went up to Braddox Hill. This time, however, we found a place up the top that was a bit more isolated, more back in the trees. We had to bring a blanket back there--it was more dirt than grass--but that was OK.
We\rquote d gone up there as much as possible in the past two months, and had settled into an anything-but physical relationship. Believe me, I was \b not\b0 complaining. It was wonderful.
I didn\rquote t get much into comparisons, and sex with Kara had been fantastic, but Kelly was the most sexually responsive person I\rquote d ever been with, in either life. I mean, she got aroused at the drop of a hat; and while she didn\rquote t orgasm on a hair-trigger, it was close. Like I said, I guessed it was all part of that zest for life thing.
That translated into everything physical. She kissed like a banshee. The blowjobs she gave me were completely beyond describing; she blew me like the fate of the universe depended on her extracting my sperm from my dick. But, without being rough at all. Like I said, tough to describe!
And when I did anything to \b her\b0 ? My goodness. One thing I had found out shortly after that day in April when we had first explored was that she was one of those rare women--and the only one I\rquote d ever been with--that could orgasm just from tittie play. Just little ones, she told me, but still. She said that they were nice little appetizers. She called them boob-gasms, which cracked me up. She said that any time I gave her a boob-gasm, the actual orgasms were particularly explosive.
So, despite the fact that we hadn\rquote t had intercourse, our sex life was exceptional. I loved every minute of it, and so did she.
Going all the way had actually been left unspoken. She knew I\rquote d done it. I knew she wasn\rquote t ready. So, the unspoken agreement was that she had to tell me when she was ready. Until then I was perfectly, completely satisfied with what we did.
One thing that I wondered was whether or not she was worried she\rquote d be disappointed. Look, I know she talked to Kara. And I know Kara loved fucking. However, I also knew that when she talked about it to Kelly what she raved about was \ldblquote Eddie\rquote s fantabulous tongue.\rdblquote And Kelly certainly had already experienced \b that\b0 . I wondered if she worried that intercourse would be a let-down.
Quite honestly, I worried about it, too. Kel was a virgin. I\rquote d never had a \lquote deflowering\rquote experience in the first life, so the only virginities I had gotten were the two this time, Kara\rquote s and Christine\rquote s. Kara\rquote s was fantastic. Chris\rquote s was a disaster. And Kara hadn\rquote t had a hymen. I wondered if that made a difference. Kelly did have a hymen--I\rquote d gotten my finger right at the entrance to her pussy and she definitely had a hymen. So, I worried about it a little. And, I couldn\rquote t deny the truth--a blowjob from Kelly was better than any actual sex I\rquote d ever had, in either life, with the possible exception of Kara. Staying right where we were was OK with me.
However, it turns out it wasn\rquote t OK with Kelly. This was the day. We got up to Braddox Hill, spread our blanket out on \lquote our spot\rquote , and commenced to disrobing, kissing, and fondling. It was in the middle of some beginning stages workup fondling that she said it. \ldblquote I\rquote m ready.\rdblquote I pulled away from her neck--which I had been nibbling on--and looked her in the eyes. \ldblquote I\rquote m ready,\rdblquote she repeated. \ldblquote I want you to make love to me.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Are you sure?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Yes. I certainly am. I\rquote ve been building up to this for a while. Just, you know, work me up first, OK?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Of course,\rdblquote I smiled, and went back to rubbing her boobs and nibbling on her neck. She sighed. I only did that for a bit, before I moved to her boobs with my mouth. I started sucking on her nipples, which she loved. I admit it--I was going for the boob-gasm. I figured that would make the rest of the proceedings a little easier.
I got it, and in a remarkably short period of time. She grabbed my head and held it tight to her boob, while her hips gyrated and she let out a little whine. After that, I went down to her pussy with my tongue, just working her up.
While I was doing that, I reached for my pants and pulled a condom out of my wallet. I didn\rquote t want there to be a big time gap.
I got her fairly close to the edge, and pulled away. She groaned, but I moved up on top of her, supporting myself with my hands, and said, \ldblquote You ready?\rdblquote
\ldblquote God, yes,\rdblquote she hissed.
I slipped the condom on, and rubbed my dick up and down her pussy, spreading her wetness all over it. She groaned deeply at that, and hitched her hips a little bit.
I lined up. God, I didn\rquote t want to hurt her like I had Christine. This was too important to me. However, I knew some pain was probably inevitable. I just hoped I had worked her up enough. I slowly wedged the head of my dick into the opening of her pussy. She groaned again. Then, just barely in, I hit her maidenhead.
\ldblquote This is the part that hurts,\rdblquote I said.
\ldblquote I know. Just do it,\rdblquote she gasped.
I did it. I felt it give way. Kelly yelped. \ldblquote YIKES!\rdblquote
\ldblquote Sorry,\rdblquote I told her.
\ldblquote I told you to,\rdblquote she managed to get out. \ldblquote God. That hurt.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I know,\rdblquote I said. \ldblquote Just relax, and breathe.\rdblquote She did, and I stayed right where I was. I wasn\rquote t going to rush this--and, thank goodness, Kelly wasn\rquote t trying to get me to do so. I reached one hand over and rubbed gently on her boob, trying to get her to relax. It definitely helped. \ldblquote How\rquote s the pain?\rdblquote I asked after a couple of minutes.
\ldblquote A lot better. Keep playing with my boob and I\rquote ll do anything,\rdblquote she said with a smile. Good, at least she was smiling. \ldblquote You were worried about this.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Yeah.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I\rquote ll be fine. I love you.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I love you, too,\rdblquote I told her.
\ldblquote Good. Keep going,\rdblquote she demanded, \ldblquote it feels much better.\rdblquote
\ldblquote OK,\rdblquote I said, and slowly started to slide into her. One thing I quickly found out was her pain hadn\rquote t diminished her enthusiasm any--and I mean physically. She was extremely wet. I swear, it was like her pussy was Niagara Falls. Even though she was definitely a virgin and tighter than a drum, I slid in rather easily.
She had closed her eyes when I had started moving again. When our pubes bumped, she opened them again. \ldblquote You did it!\rdblquote she hissed.
\ldblquote How are you?\rdblquote
\ldblquote God, wow!\rdblquote
\ldblquote No more pain?\rdblquote
\ldblquote No, none. It feels good,\rdblquote she said. \ldblquote Make love to me, Eddie,\rdblquote she said.
I did. I started slowly, not quite believing her that it was completely pain-free. However, as I started moving in and out of her, it became more and more obvious that she was definitely enjoying it. She had closed her eyes, and had a look in her face like she was testing how it made her feel, but that didn\rquote t last long. A couple strokes in, her eyes flew open and she smiled at me. A couple strokes after that, and her ass was coming up off the blanket a little, meeting my thrusts.
I had gotten better at keeping control. Even though I hadn\rquote t had actual sex since Christine, which was quite a few months ago, all the manual-and-oral stuff Kelly and I had done had helped me increase my control. Plus I was consciously working on it. So, I wasn\rquote t going to go off in a second.
I wasn\rquote t going to last forever, though. So, I was glad to start slowly. That worked for Kelly, too. I took my time at first, trying not to go nuts, and working Kelly into it.
And, boy, was she getting into it! I had gotten into a rhythm, albeit a slow one, and she was humping right back up at me. Most entrancingly, she was also grinning at me with her eyes wide open.
\ldblquote God, this feels great,\rdblquote she blurted after a few minutes. \ldblquote Ooooh, Eddie, I love this!\rdblquote I smiled back at her, and kept moving.
As I said, she was humping back up at me. After a couple minutes, she got a look of concentration in her eyes, though, like she was reaching for something she couldn\rquote t quite get to. I guessed there was a spot I wasn\rquote t quite hitting. I stopped all the way inside her and said, \ldblquote Kel? Wrap your legs around my waist.\rdblquote She did so, and then I moved again. When I hit bottom that time, she went, \ldblquote Oooooooh!\rdblquote
\ldblquote Hit the spot?\rdblquote
\ldblquote God, yes! Keep going!\rdblquote I did, moving slowly in and out of her.
\ldblquote Faster?\rdblquote I asked after a bit.
\ldblquote Yes!\rdblquote she agreed, so I picked up the pace. I was still hovering above her, supporting myself on outstretched hands, but she obviously had different ideas--she wrapped her arms around my neck and tugged. \ldblquote I want you closer,\rdblquote she hissed. I was glad to oblige--I moved down and rested my weight on my elbows. She kept her arms around my neck and started kissing me, still humping up at me on every downstroke. Starting to lose control, I went faster.
\ldblquote Oh, God, this is unbelievable!\rdblquote she hissed into my ear. She went back to kissing me--then stopped, because she was gasping for air. \ldblquote Oh! Oh! Oh! OH! EDDIE! OH GOD!\rdblquote she yelped, and then went completely rigid below me, except for her ass which came right off the ground. Her hands dug into my shoulders, she squealed, her whole body shook. Then her pussy clamped down on my dick so hard that I came instantly.
My GOD. It was absolutely stunning.
I pulled out, gasping for air, as she did the same. When her eyes opened, she looked down at my dick. \ldblquote Did you...uh...\rdblquote
I pulled off the condom so she could see that I definitely did. \ldblquote Like never before,\rdblquote I told her.
She grinned, and said, \ldblquote But you\rquote re still hard.\rdblquote
\ldblquote That happens sometimes. Not often, but sometimes. I have to be especially turned on.\rdblquote
\ldblquote So, do you have another one of those things?\rdblquote she said, pointing to the rubber that I had just peeled off.
\ldblquote Sure.\rdblquote
\ldblquote So, put it on!\rdblquote
\ldblquote Aren\rquote t you sore?\rdblquote I asked her.
\ldblquote No. I want more.\rdblquote
Unbelievable. \ldblquote You\rquote ll be sore tomorrow,\rdblquote I felt obligated to point out.
\ldblquote Like I care?\rdblquote She sat up on the blanket and hugged me, rubbing herself up against me. \ldblquote That was too fantastic. I want more,\rdblquote she demanded.
I laughed and reached around into my pants pocket for another rubber. She looked on in fascination as I slipped it on. After it was on, she grinned, and started to lie back on the blanket. \ldblquote Hold on,\rdblquote I said, \ldblquote let\rquote s try something different.\rdblquote I arranged myself on the blanket next to her, rubber-covered dick high in the air. \ldblquote Climb on,\rdblquote I told her with a grin.
\ldblquote Will that work?\rdblquote she asked.
\ldblquote Sure will. And it\rquote s supposed to be incredible for the girl.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Better than what I just had? Impossible,\rdblquote she snorted--but got up and started climbing onto my lap.
\ldblquote On your knees,\rdblquote I told her, \ldblquote right in my lap. Then, raise yourself up a little, grab my dick, and ease yourself down on it.\rdblquote She did so, her face screwed into a mask of concentration. I felt the head of my dick slip past her opening again--as did she judging by the gasp--and then I felt her slowly slide down it. She gasped again when she hit bottom.
\ldblquote Wow, you\rquote re right, this is something,\rdblquote she said. \ldblquote I just hope my legs hold out!\rdblquote
\ldblquote They will,\rdblquote I said. She smiled, and started moving.
One of the best things about female superior, to my mind, is that it gave me easy access at things to play with. Boobs, for example. Considering how sensitive Kelly\rquote s were, this was a very good thing. I raised my left hand and went right for her boob with it. She hissed out an \ldblquote Oooooh!\rdblquote and started moving a little faster. Then I took my right hand and went for her clit.
Complete explosion! I can\rquote t even describe it and do it justice. She started slamming up and down on me so fast and hard I was worried she was going to pull a hamstring! She obviously hadn\rquote t come completely down from her first one, because this one didn\rquote t take long at all. A few minutes of her furiously moving with my hands on her boob and clit, and she stiffened again. Then she shuddered, whinnied like a horse, and I felt the rhythmic clamping of her pussy on my dick again.
Then, thoroughly exhausted, she flopped forward onto my chest--still impaled on my dick.
\ldblquote Oh my goodness,\rdblquote she gasped. \ldblquote You didn\rquote t go again?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Nah. It\rquote s harder for a guy the second time.\rdblquote
\ldblquote And my legs are like jello,\rdblquote she laughed.
\ldblquote You want to flip over?\rdblquote
\ldblquote No,\rdblquote she said determinedly. \ldblquote I like this too much.\rdblquote Then she took a deep breath and started moving--slower this time--up and down my dick. She was still lying on top of me, she hadn\rquote t straightened back up, which was actually very fun for both of us. I drew my knees up to give her more leverage, and started bucking up at her on every downstroke. She ran her hands through my hair and kissed me.
I hadn\rquote t thought I was that close to cumming again, and with her legs tired she wasn\rquote t moving all that fast. But something happened. I guess it was the way she was--draped on top of me, her lips on mine, her fingers in my hair, her tits rubbing up against my chest as she moved on me. She took her lips off mine for a minute and nibbled on my neck, then went back to kissing my lips. She was practically purring in my mouth. It was so sensual that even though this was my second and she never really got what I would\rquote ve considered \lquote up to speed\rquote , I still felt myself building up quickly.
I put my hands on her flanks to steady her, gently rubbing her sides. She moved a wee bit faster, but not much. It didn\rquote t matter. After a short few minutes, I grabbed her around the waist and thrust up inside of her and came. With her nipples drilling holes into mine and her tongue still in my mouth. It was absolutely incredible.
There \b is\b0 a difference between fucking and making love. I\rquote d learned that a long time ago in the first life. \b This\b0 was making love, no doubt about it.
I\rquote d never felt as close to another human being--not even Kara--as I did to Kelly at that moment. So, I said it. \ldblquote I feel so close to you right now it\rquote s like we\rquote re one person.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Yeah. That\rquote s exactly it,\rdblquote she agreed. I had finally gone soft and slipped out of her, but she was still sprawled on top of me, my arms around her waist. \ldblquote Now, I\rquote m asking myself, what the hell was I waiting for?\rdblquote
\ldblquote You were waiting until you were ready. If you had rushed it, it wouldn\rquote t have been as good.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Yeah, but one of the reasons I wasn\rquote t ready is that I was afraid I wouldn\rquote t like it. This went so far beyond \lquote like it\rquote I can\rquote t even put it into words.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Yeah, but that wasn\rquote t the whole reason you weren\rquote t ready. Waiting until you were sure was the right thing to do, Kel. You know what they say--worth the wait.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Oh, it was definitely worth the wait!\rdblquote she laughed. \ldblquote Wow. I love you so much.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I love you, too,\rdblquote I told her. \ldblquote How are your legs, still like jello?\rdblquote
\ldblquote No. Now they\rquote re like spaghetti. \b Cooked\b0 spaghetti.\rdblquote
\ldblquote There\rquote s a problem with that,\rdblquote I said. \ldblquote We have to walk home.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Oh? I thought you were going to give me a piggyback,\rdblquote she said impishly.
\ldblquote Hey! I did all the work the first time. My legs aren\rquote t exactly at full strength.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Oh, poo. Why do you lift all those weights and do all that running if it\rquote s not to give me piggybacks?\rdblquote
\ldblquote You\rquote re a brat, you know that?\rdblquote
\ldblquote You love me anyway,\rdblquote she said, and kissed me.
\ldblquote You\rquote re right, I do.\rdblquote
We rested for a bit, then gathered up our clothes and headed out. We walked to the bottom of the hill then across the park hand-in hand. When we got out of the park and onto the main street, I abruptly stopped. Before she knew what was going on, I stood in front of her, crouched down, grabbed her legs, then slowly stood up. She squealed and wrapped her arms around my shoulders just in time.
\ldblquote Eddie, I was kidding about the piggyback!\rdblquote she said--though the tone in her voice indicated she was really delighted.
\ldblquote What my lady wants, my lady gets,\rdblquote I said, then started walking. She couldn\rquote t stop laughing. We got to the corner where we had to cross the street, and I pushed the button for the traffic signal--with her still on my back. We crossed the street piggyback. It was hilarious. Kelly still couldn\rquote t stop laughing and yelling \ldblquote Wheeeee!\rdblquote and all the folks in the cars at the traffic light were cracking up.
I couldn\rquote t go much further with her on my back, so I set her down. She was still laughing. \ldblquote You\rquote re nuts,\rdblquote she said.
\ldblquote Only about you.\rdblquote I told her. We walked back to her house hand-in-hand, in complete bliss.
\b JULY 12th, 1979\b0
So, that began our physical relationship, Kelly and I. It was absolutely marvelous.
I\rquote d had decent sex, and good sex, if you count both timelines. With Kara, I\rquote d probably even call it great sex. Sex with Kelly was stupendous sex.
I\rquote d never been with anyone that enthusiastic. Kara loved it, but even that paled in comparison. After our second time--a week after the first--I looked at Kelly and said, \ldblquote I think I\rquote ve created a monster.\rdblquote
She laughed and said, \ldblquote Well, a nymphomaniac anyway.\rdblquote
And the innuendos! Those started right away. We didn\rquote t see each other the day after our first time--though we talked on the phone and she admitted she was sore, claiming \ldblquote it was the greatest soreness of all time!\rdblquote We did see each other the next day, a Monday, as we were still in school. She got on the bus, sat down next to me, and promptly whispered in my ear, \ldblquote My pussy itches. Can you scratch it for me, mister?\rdblquote
I started getting stuff like that all the time. Before school got out, she\rquote d walk up to me in school, look down right at my dick, and then look up grinning. The junior high had a \lquote graduation\rquote with gowns and everything, and Kelly walked up to me and whispered \ldblquote I\rquote m naked under this gown. Wanna go play?\rdblquote Sara had her Fourth of July party again; and, while in the pool, Kelly pulled the top of her bikini down, flashing me. Stuff like that.
There was one day when I mentioned that I had to replenish the rubber supply. The next day, she was hanging at my house--my mom had invited her for dinner. Well, she decided she wanted to go to the store. When we got outside, I asked her what store she wanted to go to. She said, \ldblquote The one where you buy the rubbers. I wanna go and buy them with you.\rdblquote So we went to that drugstore and she proudly helped me buy the rubbers, with the girl behind the counter glaring at her the whole time. When we got outside the store, she couldn\rquote t stop laughing. \ldblquote Did you see the look on that woman\rquote s face when I pointed at the rubbers?\rdblquote she said.
Like I\rquote ve said--zest for life. I loved every minute of it.
Sex? God, we had a lot of sex. Especially after school got out. It\rquote s a good thing her mother liked me, because we were together all the time that summer. And I was the one that had to suggest we occasionally did something \b other\b0 than sex! God, she was insatiable.
On this day, July 12th, sex wasn\rquote t possible. Kelly had her period. So, we went to the mall. We ran into Beth, doing some shopping with her mother. Lydia went off to do some household shopping and the three of us went to Orange Julius. We bought some and grabbed a bench.
\ldblquote How\rquote s it going?\rdblquote I asked Beth.
\ldblquote OK. I\rquote ve been spending lots of time this week keeping Olivia from going off the deep end. Dennis broke up with her.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Damn,\rdblquote I said.
\ldblquote It\rquote s probably a good thing in the long run because he treated her like crap,\rdblquote Beth maintained, \ldblquote but right now? She\rquote s devastated.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I\rquote ll bet,\rdblquote I said. \ldblquote He was her first, and she\rquote s fragile to begin with.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Right. And she completely hasn\rquote t come to terms with me at all,\rdblquote Beth continued. I just shook my head.
\ldblquote Come to terms with you?\rdblquote Kelly asked.
Beth looked at her. \ldblquote Eddie\rquote s told you, I\rquote m sure, that my prognosis isn\rquote t good.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Yeah,\rdblquote Kelly said sadly.
\ldblquote Well, Olivia\rquote s in complete denial. Just won\rquote t accept it. She actually said on the phone the other night, \lquote What would I do without you?\rquote to me. And I had to remind her that she\rquote ll probably find that out sometime soon. She just shrugged it off. \lquote Oh, you\rquote re not going to die,\rquote she said. She\rquote s waiting for a miracle.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Well, I have to say that I don\rquote t blame her,\rdblquote Kelly said. \ldblquote Look, you\rquote re here, right? Why give up hope? What kind of friend would she be if she just accepted it?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Eddie accepts it,\rdblquote Beth replied.
\ldblquote Uh, no,\rdblquote I corrected. \ldblquote I don\rquote t accept it. I\rquote m resigned to the probability. There\rquote s a difference.\rdblquote
\ldblquote OK, I see your point,\rdblquote Beth said, \ldblquote but you\rquote re not in denial. Look, it\rquote s two years this month since I was diagnosed. There\rquote s a 75% morality rate within two years. I\rquote m living on completely borrowed time as it is, from right now onward. Maintaining that there\rquote s no way I\rquote m going to die is just denial.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I understand what you\rquote re saying,\rdblquote Kelly said, \ldblquote but look at it this way. As you\rquote ve said, you\rquote ve already beaten the odds. Maybe you\rquote ll continue to beat them. I\rquote m not in denial. I\rquote ve talked with Eddie enough to know your odds are long. But I do prefer to look on the bright side of things.\rdblquote
She certainly did. It was one of the reasons I loved her. In this case, however, I knew better. Of course, I didn\rquote t say that.
\ldblquote There\rquote s a difference,\rdblquote was what I did say. \ldblquote I\rquote ve seen Olivia. There is a difference between looking on the bright side and being in complete denial.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Right,\rdblquote Beth agreed. \ldblquote You have hope,\rdblquote she said to Kelly. \ldblquote Hey, so do I. So does Ed. Olivia, however, doesn\rquote t just have hope--she\rquote s living in a fantasy world where, for all intents and purposes, I\rquote m not even sick.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Maybe that\rquote s how she deals with it,\rdblquote Kelly said.
\ldblquote Yes,\rdblquote Beth agreed, \ldblquote but the problem with that is, what happens to Olivia if I do die? Look, she\rquote s had a lot of bad things happen to her. And I\rquote m the one that she cries to. I\rquote m the one that picks up the pieces. Whose gonna pick up the pieces if I die?\rdblquote
\ldblquote We will,\rdblquote Kelly said. \ldblquote Don\rquote t worry about Olivia, OK, Beth? Worry about yourself.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Thanks,\rdblquote Beth said, obviously touched.
\ldblquote I mean it. They say attitude helps with a bad illness. Don\rquote t worry yourself to death,\rdblquote Kelly continued. \ldblquote If the worst happens, Olivia will have friends, you can count on that.\rdblquote
Beth looked at me. \ldblquote You\rquote re a lucky guy, you know.\rdblquote
Kelly just blushed. \ldblquote I know I am,\rdblquote I agreed.
\b AUGUST 18th, 1979\b0
The rest of July went fine. The first few days of August were fine. Then Kelly left, for two weeks. She and her whole family went to Florida to visit her grandparents. They did this every summer. I was going to miss her--but, hey, it was only two weeks. I spent those two weeks practicing the guitar, playing basketball up the street, and hanging with friends. I went over Stan\rquote s a couple of times and we got the guitars out. I hung with Beth a few times, including one day with Olivia where we managed to cheer Olivia up for a day. I also hung with Kara some, just as friends.
Today, the eighteenth, was the day Kelly was to come home. Actually, she came home late the night before, but this was the first day I\rquote d be able to see her. I couldn\rquote t wait to see her. Summer was almost done and I hoped we\rquote d be able to spend a lot of the rest of it together. It was only two weeks but I\rquote d really missed her.
I happily walked over to her house. She opened the door--and she looked absolutely miserable. She looked like she\rquote d been crying. I went to hug her and she stiffened. \ldblquote We need to talk,\rdblquote she said, and led me to a bench in her backyard.
Uh-oh. This didn\rquote t look good.
It wasn\rquote t. \ldblquote There\rquote s no easy way to say this. Eddie, while I was in Florida, I cheated on you. I slept with someone else.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Huh?\rdblquote was all I could get out.
\ldblquote There\rquote s this guy, Steve. I\rquote ve known him for as long as we\rquote ve been going down there. He\rquote s a year older. He lives behind my grandparents. We\rquote ve always been friends and, well, I guess we always kind of liked each other, a little. Well, he really liked me, which I hadn\rquote t realized. When I got down there, he put the moves on me. And I let him.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Can I ask why?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Well, there was an attraction there, I won\rquote t deny it. I was also horny as all get-out. You weren\rquote t around, and I needed it.\rdblquote That\rquote s when she started crying. \ldblquote God, Eddie, I\rquote m so sorry. I just wasn\rquote t thinking. He was there, and being all seductive and I was horny--so I gave in. And I\rquote ve felt this incredible guilt for three days now.\rdblquote
I took a deep breath. \ldblquote Was it something I did?\rdblquote I asked.
\ldblquote God NO!\rdblquote she yelped. \ldblquote Are you kidding me? You\rquote re the perfect boyfriend! And, no, the sex with him was horrible. Not like with you at all. Eddie, this has nothing to do with you. This was me being weak and stupid.\rdblquote
\ldblquote OK,\rdblquote I said, and thought for a minute. \ldblquote I\rquote m not going to deny I\rquote m hurt and betrayed and disappointed. But I still love you, you know.\rdblquote
That shocked her. \ldblquote How can you possibly still love me?\rdblquote
\ldblquote I just do,\rdblquote I said with a little smile. \ldblquote We all make mistakes. Was this a mistake?\rdblquote
\ldblquote A big huge fat one.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Then we can get past it.\rdblquote
She looked at me like I had three heads. \ldblquote What? How the hell can we get past it? You\rquote ll never trust me again!\rdblquote
\ldblquote Sure I will. It might take some time, but I will.\rdblquote I gave her a wry grin. \ldblquote I might be a bit of a basket case the next time you go to Florida, I\rquote ll admit.\rdblquote
That\rquote s when she started bawling. I went to put my arms around her and she pushed me away. \ldblquote I can\rquote t \b do\b0 this!\rdblquote she bawled.
\ldblquote Can\rquote t do what, Kel?\rdblquote
\ldblquote I can\rquote t sit here and watch you be all noble about this.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I\rquote m not that noble. I\rquote m hurt and upset.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I know, that\rquote s why I can\rquote t do this,\rdblquote she sniffled. \ldblquote Eddie, I can\rquote t go out with you anymore.\rdblquote
\ldblquote WHAT?\rdblquote What the hell was she doing?
\ldblquote It\rquote s no good. Do you realize how guilty I feel? I look at you sitting there and I feel like scum. I expected you to break up with me. You \b should\b0 be breaking up with me. But you decided to be all noble instead. But I can\rquote t do this.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Kelly, we can get through this.\rdblquote
\ldblquote No, we \b can\rquote t\b0 . Don\rquote t you see?\rdblquote
I\rquote d managed to keep calm until right then. \ldblquote No, Kelly, I do \b not\b0 see. You\rquote re upset and guilty because you did something to hurt me, right?\rdblquote She nodded. \ldblquote So, you\rquote re going to fix this by hurting me \b worse\b0 ? Because, believe me, breaking up with me is worse than cheating on me.\rdblquote
\ldblquote No, it\rquote s not. You deserve better than me, Eddie.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I don\rquote t want anyone else. I just want you.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Eddie, I just can\rquote t!\rdblquote she wailed. \ldblquote Every time I look at you it\rquote s going to be a reminder.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Fine, but don\rquote t pretend you\rquote re doing this for me. You\rquote re doing this for yourself. You can\rquote t deal with the guilt. That\rquote s your problem. Don\rquote t for a minute think you\rquote re doing \b me\b0 any favors.\rdblquote
\ldblquote But I am!\rdblquote
\ldblquote Bullshit. I could get over you cheating on me. Really, I could. I\rquote d be upset and hurt for a while, but I could get over it. Dumping me? That I might never get over. That\rquote s the worst thing you could\rquote ve ever done.\rdblquote With that, I stormed out of the yard. She called after me, but I just didn\rquote t want to hear it. I didn\rquote t want to hear her tortured rationalizations for such an \b idiotic\b0 decision.
I just didn\rquote t get it. I don\rquote t think I ever \b would\b0 get it. I don\rquote t know. I wasn\rquote t a complete nut about fidelity, especially at our age. We were 14. I mean, we weren\rquote t fucking married! Yes, it was a betrayal to a degree--and it hurt and was upsetting. But she was truly sorry for doing it and I would\rquote ve gotten over it.
Breaking up with me? Made absolutely no fucking sense whatsoever. I just didn\rquote t understand it at all.
I clomped up the street, disgusted. When I got to the top, Kara was standing there.
\ldblquote Hi. How you doing?\rdblquote she asked.
\ldblquote You know,\rdblquote I said.
\ldblquote Yeah, she called in tears last night after she got home.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Well. That\rquote s the end of that, anyway,\rdblquote I said bitterly.
\ldblquote Can\rquote t you ever forgive her?\rdblquote Kara asked.
\ldblquote I doubt it,\rdblquote I spat.
\ldblquote Jeez, Eddie, I know you must be hurt but I didn\rquote t think you\rquote d react this horribly. I\rquote m glad I never cheated on you.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Oh, I could forgive \b that\b0 . I told her that. I was hurt, but I could get past her cheating.\rdblquote
\ldblquote OK, so what can\rquote t you forgive?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Her breaking up with me,\rdblquote I spat.
\ldblquote She WHAT?\rdblquote Kara blurted. \ldblquote Oh, Jesus.\rdblquote
\ldblquote You didn\rquote t know she was going to do that?\rdblquote
\ldblquote God, no!\rdblquote
\ldblquote I told her straight off that we could get past the cheating. But she dumped me because she\rquote s having a severe case of the guilts.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Oh, Jeez, Eddie, I didn\rquote t know she was going to do that.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Well, she did.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I\rquote ll talk to her.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Thanks--but, I have to say, good luck. You\rquote ll need it.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Would you take her back?\rdblquote
\ldblquote In a heartbeat,\rdblquote I said. \ldblquote We can get past all this.\rdblquote
\ldblquote You really love her,\rdblquote Kara said softly.
\ldblquote Yeah,\rdblquote I admitted.
\ldblquote Then I\rquote ll work on it.\rdblquote
\b AUGUST 23rd, 1979\b0
Kara did work on it. I know that for a fact. However, so far, it had been to no avail. \ldblquote Damn, I just can\rquote t get through to her!\rdblquote Kara told me over the phone. Unfortunately, I wasn\rquote t surprised.
Something had broken in Kelly, and I couldn\rquote t figure out how to fix it. Neither could Kara.
Unfortunately, this \b was\b0 one of the emotional minefields of teenaged sex. Fidelity and guilt and all that. Kelly was reacting like the confused fourteen-year-old she was. I knew that. The problem was, she was over-reacting. I \b didn\rquote t\b0 react how I should have, and that should have made it easier for her. I wondered what would\rquote ve happened if I had pulled a jealous fit. Maybe things would\rquote ve been better. Maybe the fact that I confounded her expectations confused her more.
Maybe we should have never had sex.
That one haunted me. Did I do this to her? Because the sex was so unbelievably mind-blowing, because we were truly in love, because she seemed completely ready--had I taken her to a place I shouldn\rquote t have?
I was thinking of that especially on this day, the 23rd, because I was offered sex on this day.
It was Belle, my second cousin from California. She was staying again for a couple of weeks.
As I\rquote ve said, the first time around, this second visit was accompanied by news of a boyfriend in California, and a demand that the two of us just \lquote be friends\rquote . I knew she was coming--she arrived the day Kelly dumped me--and figured we\rquote d just be friends again this time. Since I thought I had Kelly, that was fine with me.
Of course, now I had no Kelly. And things with Belle were not the same as they were in the first life.
It seems she \b did\b0 have the boyfriend from California--but had just dumped him. \ldblquote I slept with him. He was my first. After that he kind of lost interest in anything other than that. And I got tired of being ignored unless he wanted sex. So I dumped him,\rdblquote she told me.
\ldblquote Ah,\rdblquote I said. I had already told her about my love life in the year since I\rquote d seen her. She was glad Kara and I were still friends, but upset for me about Kelly.
\ldblquote When I was here last summer,\rdblquote Belle went on, \ldblquote I figured out that you and Kara were sleeping together. And Kara looked so damn happy. So, I figured it would be fun. Well, to tell you the truth, it wasn\rquote t.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Really?\rdblquote
\ldblquote I think it was him. I think he was clueless. That\rquote s what I want to find out. And I know Kara enjoyed it with you. So, since neither of us is attached at the moment, do you want to have sex with me?\rdblquote
We were alone, at my grandmother\rquote s house, and would be alone for a few hours at least. Gram was working, and Belle\rquote s mom had gone off for the day with mine. So the opportunity was there.
If you don\rquote t think I was tempted, you\rquote re crazy. Like I said, Belle was a babe. If I went to bed with her, she\rquote d definitely be the most physically attractive girl I\rquote d ever slept with, and that\rquote s in either life. Kelly was cute as hell, and Kara was very pretty, but Belle was a bombshell. She\rquote d even grown a bit which made her grow out of some of her chunkiness--but she was still really curvy, which I liked. I had this vision of her walking along a California beach in a bikini, and I could probably jack off to that particular vision for quite some time. And now I was being given the opportunity to, not only see her completely naked, but have sex with her? That was gonna be hard to turn down.
I thought about doing just that, though. I really did. Kelly still haunted me. I still wondered if introducing her to sex was the worst thing I could\rquote ve ever done.
Then again, it hadn\rquote t scarred Kara any, had it? And, though I thought at first it might have scarred Christine, I turned out to be wrong about that, too.
Plus, the 14 year old indignant part of my brain proclaimed--what was I doing feeling guilty about Kelly? I didn\rquote t cheat. I didn\rquote t break up with her. Why was I searching frantically for something to take blame about? Sex? Hell, I waited until \b she\b0 was ready, didn\rquote t I? Kelly wasn\rquote t my fault. If she was fucked up, she did that to herself all on her own.
As an added incentive, I wouldn\rquote t be Belle\rquote s first. If she was screwed up about sex, it wasn\rquote t \b my\b0 doing, right? Plus, we knew what the ground rules were. She was going back to California in a little over a week. There was no \lquote relationship\rquote to worry about. We liked each other, a lot, but there was no romance here, not with 3,000 miles separating us. This was an offer of no-strings-attached sex.
Plus, I was horny as hell.
So, I said yes.
No, it is not one of my prouder moments. But I did it. And, you know what? It was great. We got undressed, I played with her for a while, then I ate her out--which made her go absolutely berserk. Then I fucked her. It wasn\rquote t like it was with Kelly, but it was still sex. Good sex, with a very enthusiastic and appreciative girl. And sexy. Really sexy. Belle with no clothes on--well, that\rquote s an image burned into my mind for all time. This girl could be a Playboy centerfold. And she let \b me\b0 fuck her.
In fact, we did it twice more before she went back to California. And, you know what? She \b thanked\b0 me. \ldblquote You are so much better than my ex-boyfriend I can\rquote t tell you. Thank you for showing me what sex is \b supposed\b0 to be like.\rdblquote
It felt good, dammit. I enjoyed it. I liked her reactions and I got off. So what if there was a little voice in the back of my head yelling, \ldblquote It\rquote s not the same as with Kelly--or even Kara.\rdblquote It was close. It was sex.
Sex was good. Love? That\rquote s what sucked.
\b SEPTEMBER 24th, 1979\b0
When I got to school for the beginning of the school year, I didn\rquote t see anything to change my mind about that conclusion.
Kara hadn\rquote t been able to get through to Kelly. Furthermore, Kelly wouldn\rquote t even talk to me. She\rquote d see me in the halls or on the bus and just look at me like she was about to start crying. Fuck that. Who needs that?
It wasn\rquote t just me. Livvie was still mooning over Dennis. Michelle and her boyfriend Mike had seemingly gotten closer over the summer, which made Stan feel like shit. Even other people--Danica had started dating Stan\rquote s friend Rob Silverman at the end of last school year and \b that\b0 had broken up in late August.
Hell, I even had to console Kara through a phone call. Her boyfriend dumped her--seems he found someone else over the summer.
So, we went back to school, the Old Gang, in a state of disarray. And this was a new school, Cabot High.
There were two Junior High Schools in Cabot, East and West. They both fed into the high school. So, half the school was new kids. It was a new school for us, new teachers, new classes, and half new classmates. It would\rquote ve been easier to take, I think, if we\rquote d all stuck together.
\line But we didn\rquote t. Kelly avoided me. Danica avoided Rob. Michelle didn\rquote t want to rub Stan\rquote s face in it so she avoided Stan. Olivia avoided all human contact with anyone that wasn\rquote t Beth. I ate most days with Stan. Just the two of us, wallowing in our misery. Sometimes Beth ate with us, but that meant Olivia, too, and Olivia just brought everybody down. I stuck it out for Beth\rquote s sake, but I was miserable.
Maybe if I had been able to rely on the myth of Eddie the Stud, I might have at least gotten laid. However, that didn\rquote t seem to have carried over. Christine certainly wasn\rquote t going to say anything good about me. Kelly wasn\rquote t going to talk about me at all. And Kara wasn\rquote t here. Somehow, the change of schools had turned me back into the School Nerd. It wasn\rquote t as bad--no beatings or vicious tauntings or anything like that--I was just seen as a nerd. Even though there were enough people in that school that should\rquote ve known better. I wasn\rquote t connecting with new people and my old friends had scattered.
So, I concentrated on my studies. I still considered that the most important thing. I kept working out. I played the guitar a lot, often with Stan. And I waited for things to get better.
However, I knew the truth. Things weren\rquote t gonna get better. I knew what was coming.
It came on this day, the 24th, a Monday. I sat down at lunch with Stan, and Olivia joined us.
\ldblquote Mind if I sit here? Beth\rquote s not in school today.\rdblquote
\ldblquote She\rquote s not?\rdblquote I said.
\ldblquote Nope. We have English class in the morning together and she wasn\rquote t there. She must be sick or something.\rdblquote
Sick or something? Livvie, as Beth had said, was in denial. However, I knew. The timing was right, so I knew. When I got home, I had it confirmed. My mom had talked to Lydia, Beth\rquote s mom.
Saturday, Beth had gone back in the hospital.
Her leukemia was out of remission.