REWIND
CHAPTER SEVEN
\ldblquote CAST YOUR DANCING SPELL MY WAY, I PROMISE TO GO UNDER IT\rdblquote
\fs28
\pard\fs24 DECEMBER 22, 1978
\b0 The week of the dance, my mother had been diagnosed with throat cancer. Mom and Dad waited until the day after the dance, the 16th, to tell me.
Of course I knew it was coming. This had happened the first time around. It was from smoking. She had a tumor on her vocal cords. It was taken care of by radiation, and she was fine. She quit smoking, and that was that. When I \lquote came back\rquote in 2007, my mom was still around--and that was after \b another\b0 bout with cancer, this time breast cancer, in the late eighties.
So, I wasn\rquote t worried. However, I guess my parents were surprised at my lack of worry. This was one of the problems with this return-trip thing. I knew how certain things were going to work out, and didn\rquote t react the way I should have if I didn\rquote t have that advance knowledge. Mom was going to be fine, so I really didn\rquote t worry.
This night, a Friday night, my dad called me on it. Mom was out, and my brother and sister were in bed. We were just chatting, Dad and I, when he brought it up. \ldblquote Your mother\rquote s going through a rough time right now, and she\rquote s under the impression that you don\rquote t really care.\rdblquote
Wow--that \b wasn\rquote t\b0 what I was trying to do. I realized I was going to have to cover, and it was only partially a cover. \ldblquote That\rquote s not true, Dad,\rdblquote I told him. \ldblquote I know she\rquote s going through some shit. I guess I\rquote m just not that worried.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Well, I know her prognosis is good, but \b she\b0 is worried.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Of course she is, it\rquote s her that it\rquote s happening to,\rdblquote I said. \ldblquote But I have enough to worry about, honestly. What you guys told me is that she\rquote s going to be fine. I know the radiation isn\rquote t going to be any fun, and I\rquote ll try to help her out, but I can only worry about so much.\rdblquote
\ldblquote What do you have to worry about, breaking up with a girlfriend?\rdblquote he snorted.
\ldblquote No, and you know it,\rdblquote I retorted. \ldblquote I went to a dance last week. Who was it that I took?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Beth,\rdblquote he said, still not getting it. That surprised me. Dad usually caught a clue.
\ldblquote Right. So there\rquote s two people close to me that are sick. And only one of them has much of a chance of getting better, and that\rquote s Mom.\rdblquote
Dad looked at me. \ldblquote You realize this?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Yeah,\rdblquote I said.
\ldblquote Your mother and I have wondered. Let\rquote s face it, Ed, you can sometimes be oblivious.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Not lately, have you noticed that? I accepted what was happening to Beth some time ago. Why do you think I, basically, blew off a girlfriend--and got dumped for my trouble--so I could take Beth to that dance?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Wait a minute,\rdblquote Dad said. \ldblquote I thought you asked Beth because what\rquote s-her-name dumped you?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Other way around, Dad. I told Christine that I was going to ask Beth to that dance. Christine\rquote s jealous to begin with, and even though she knows Beth is sick, she insisted I take her to the dance, or we were through. I stuck to my guns. Beth needed to go to that dance.\rdblquote
Dad looked at me like I had three heads. Then, finally, he said, \ldblquote I\rquote m sorry, Ed. I didn\rquote t give you enough credit. You really are maturing.\rdblquote Little did \b he\b0 know--technically, I was older than he was! \ldblquote I didn\rquote t get the events correctly.\rdblquote He grinned at me. \ldblquote And you\rquote d seemed preoccupied with girls lately. Not Beth, I know you and she are just friends. You seemed preoccupied with, you know, girlfriends.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I\rquote m not going to admit I don\rquote t enjoy having a girlfriend,\rdblquote I grinned back. \ldblquote But Christine was just a diversion. Kara was different, but she\rquote s away at school now. And she told me straight out that if she had still been around she would\rquote ve agreed with me taking Beth to the dance. Anyhow, I like girlfriends, and wouldn\rquote t mind getting another one soon, but Beth is Beth.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Yeah,\rdblquote he said, then stared down at his bottle, which was just about empty. \ldblquote Mind getting me another beer?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Sure,\rdblquote I said, and walked out into the kitchen. That\rquote s when I thought. This was the first real talk I\rquote d had with my Dad since my return. I wasn\rquote t going to tell him what was up, but maybe he\rquote d realize I was a little more mature than he\rquote d thought.
I returned with the beer. \ldblquote You bring me two?\rdblquote he said.
\ldblquote Nah. This one\rquote s for me,\rdblquote I said, popping the top off and taking a slug of it. \ldblquote I really do wish you\rquote d buy something other than this Budweiser swill, though. Next time you drop by the packie, can you get some Heineken or something?\rdblquote
He just looked at me. \ldblquote How the hell old are you?\rdblquote
\ldblquote I\rquote ll be 14 next month.\rdblquote
\ldblquote That\rquote s old enough to steal my beer?\rdblquote
\ldblquote How old were you, Dad?\rdblquote I knew it was younger than 14. I also knew, despite the token protest, that Dad was liberal--especially about his kids drinking at home.
\ldblquote All right, good point,\rdblquote he laughed. \ldblquote Heineken, huh? Where\rquote d you pick up such refined tastes?\rdblquote
\ldblquote I\rquote ve had it once or twice.\rdblquote
\ldblquote You\rquote re too young to drink,\rdblquote he said, half-heartedly.
\ldblquote I\rquote m too young for lots of things. I think I can handle them.\rdblquote
\ldblquote You do, do you?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Yeah, I do. You wanna talk about Beth? Let\rquote s talk about Beth. She\rquote s dying. She\rquote ll be fifteen in April, and she\rquote s feeling pretty good so she might make that. I\rquote d lay any amount of money down that fifteen is the last birthday she sees.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Yeah,\rdblquote he said sadly.
\ldblquote Dad, she\rquote s my best friend, and she\rquote s dying. Beer? Beer is nothing. Waiting for my best friend to die--hell, I\rquote m surprised I don\rquote t drink \b more\b0 . And there\rquote s other things.\rdblquote I took a pull from the beer. \ldblquote You remember your first love?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Sure do,\rdblquote he grinned. \ldblquote Margie Wilson. Damn, she was hot. I was, let me think--16 or 17.\rdblquote
\ldblquote How\rquote d it end?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Badly,\rdblquote he admitted. \ldblquote She dumped me. I was an asshole to her for a while thereafter.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Right,\rdblquote I said. \ldblquote Look how I\rquote m handling Kara. We\rquote re still friends, for goodness\rquote sake. I\rquote m 13 years old. I \b should\b0 be a basket case. I\rquote m not.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Well, I think it was a little different,\rdblquote Dad said. \ldblquote Margie was my first. You know. That puts a different dimension on things.\rdblquote
I smiled to myself. Mom would \b never\b0 be able to handle this, but Dad could. \ldblquote Dad. Do you think Kara and I spent all our time at the movies or something?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Well, no, but I\rquote m not talking about just making out or copping a feel.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Neither am I,\rdblquote I told him. \ldblquote You\rquote re talking about sex. So am I. Kara and I had sex, Dad. Repeatedly.\rdblquote
My poor Dad--he almost dropped the beer. \ldblquote WHAT?\rdblquote
\ldblquote You heard me. Oh, and I hope you realize I\rquote m comfortable talking to you, but if you tell Mom this I\rquote ll never forgive you.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Do you think I go looking for trouble?\rdblquote he said with a wry smirk. \ldblquote Your mother would have a stroke. But, jeez, Ed, I don\rquote t know how happy I am about this. 13 years old, and you\rquote re having sex?\rdblquote
\ldblquote I can handle it. And, yes, before you ask--we were careful.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Good. Please tell me you didn\rquote t twist her arm.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Of course not. In fact, it was her idea. She wanted me to be her first. We probably would\rquote ve waited some if she wasn\rquote t going away to school, but she was, so we didn\rquote t wait.\rdblquote
\ldblquote What about the other one?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Christine? Yeah. Though that was probably a mistake. She initiated that, too, but for the wrong reasons. I should\rquote ve said no. But it seems to not have scarred her, even though we broke up.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I don\rquote t know any 13 year old boy that could say no to an offer of sex,\rdblquote Dad grinned. \ldblquote Why did she initiate it?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Couple reasons. A lot of it was to \lquote give me what I wanted\rquote , you know? To hold onto me. But part of it was she knew about Kara, and knew Kara enjoyed it.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Word got around about Kara?\rdblquote he said suspiciously.
\ldblquote Yes, but not from me. Talking is stupid.\rdblquote I grinned. \ldblquote However, Kara got carried away at Sara\rquote s Fourth of July party last summer and spilled the beans to her whole crowd. The only person I told, before you, was Beth.\rdblquote
\ldblquote You told Beth?\rdblquote
\ldblquote I can trust Beth, and I know it,\rdblquote I said. \ldblquote Besides, that was an interesting discussion.\rdblquote I chuckled. \ldblquote You know how Catholic Beth is. I think she\rquote s convinced I\rquote m going to hell.\rdblquote
Dad laughed at that. \ldblquote Your mother would agree with her.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Yeah, true, but Beth knows I don\rquote t. My religious beliefs are more in line with yours than Mom\rquote s.\rdblquote
\ldblquote What do you think my religious beliefs are?\rdblquote
We\rquote d discussed this the first time around, but much later in life, though I\rquote d seen the signs earlier. So I answered from that perspective. \ldblquote I\rquote m guessing you pretty much don\rquote t have any.\rdblquote
\ldblquote You\rquote d be right,\rdblquote Dad said. \ldblquote Though I told your mother I wouldn\rquote t interfere with that part of bringing you guys up.\rdblquote
\ldblquote And you didn\rquote t. I came to this conclusion all on my own. That\rquote s the reason I couldn\rquote t tell you--well, couldn\rquote t tell Mom--about why I didn\rquote t want to go to the Prep. Four years of Catholic school didn\rquote t at all appeal to me.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I don\rquote t know if I believe in God or not,\rdblquote Dad said. \ldblquote You\rquote d probably call me an agnostic. But I know I do \b not\b0 have any use for churches or organized religion or any of that.\rdblquote
\ldblquote We\rquote re in complete agreement. That\rquote s what I talked to Beth about. I told her that, even if there were a God, I don\rquote t think he cares who or when we screw.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Please tell me you\rquote re not trying to get Beth into bed with that line,\rdblquote Dad spat.
\ldblquote Are you kidding me? Nope. Beth\rquote s like my sister. Plus, she\rquote s sick. Plus, she still wouldn\rquote t go for it even if I was interested--she\rquote s still too Catholic for that. I told her what I thought but I don\rquote t think she agreed with me. I wouldn\rquote t try anyway.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I thought so, but sometimes you worry me.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Nope, no worries there. Especially in her present condition. Hey, if she weren\rquote t sick? Maybe we\rquote d try dating; we\rquote ve always gotten along. Though I doubt it would ever get \b that\b0 far considering that whole Catholic thing. But, with her sick--hey, that\rquote s the last thing she needs. She needs friendship. That\rquote s what she gets.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I hope you keep that up.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I plan on it.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Good.\rdblquote He looked down at his bottle. \ldblquote Hey, go get me another beer, eh? And I suppose you can grab another one for yourself.\rdblquote
\b DECEMBER 23rd, 1978
\b0
Beth and I went to do some last-minute Christmas shopping. Mom dropped us off at the mall, and we fought the crowds for the afternoon.
It was, well, a little tense. This had happened the first time around, and I remember it being a little tense then, too. This was the beginning, I could see it coming--she was about to start pushing me away, as she did the last time.
\ldblquote You going to Danica\rquote s New Year\rquote s Eve party?\rdblquote I asked her.
\ldblquote I don\rquote t think so,\rdblquote she replied.
\ldblquote You should.\rdblquote
She sighed. \ldblquote I just don\rquote t think it\rquote s a good idea,\rdblquote she said. OK, so I was going to let her off the hook for that, specifically. I wasn\rquote t going to let her off the hook otherwise. You see, the first time around, this shopping trip had been the last time I\rquote d seen her alive. I\rquote d called her, and she\rquote d brushed me off, so I let it go. This time, I wasn\rquote t going to let it go.
\ldblquote Something wrong?\rdblquote I asked her.
\ldblquote No,\rdblquote she said.
\ldblquote Don\rquote t lie to me,\rdblquote I said. \ldblquote Beth, something\rquote s bothering you. Come on, fess up.\rdblquote
She wouldn\rquote t. I wasn\rquote t about to stop trying, however.
\b DECEMBER 31st, 1978
\b0
Christmas was fine. The week afterwards, I tried to make plans with Beth and she blew me off. I was going to have to bring this to a head, and soon, or the same thing was going to happen.
However, I went to Danica\rquote s party. I decided to just enjoy myself here. Almost all my friends were there, and I was just determined to have a good time. Little did I know exactly what was going to happen.
I met Kara\rquote s new boyfriend. I sensed she was a little disillusioned with him. He\rquote d come up for the party from wherever he lived, Rhode Island or something--Kara\rquote s parents were even going to let him sleep on the couch--but he wasn\rquote t treating Kara very well. It was what she had talked about, that whole jealousy thing. Eventually, he blew her off, and started hanging around with the guys.
Considering the gut-wrench I figured I was about to go through with Beth, and considering what I saw watching Kara and Jim--well, maybe I was \b glad\b0 I didn\rquote t have a girlfriend right at that moment! I was probably better off, I thought to myself. Just hanging with friends, making sure things were all right with Beth, concentrating on schoolwork. Maybe that was better.
Well, you know what they say about best-laid plans.
Kara came and sat next to me. \ldblquote How\rquote s things?\rdblquote I asked.
She sighed. \ldblquote You know, if he doesn\rquote t wise up, he\rquote s getting dumped.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Good, I was hoping you weren\rquote t being bamboozled.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Me? Not hardly. Hey, I like Jim, but I don\rquote t love him. And he makes me like him less and less with this shit. I do have other options. There\rquote s a cute guy in one of my classes that follows me around like a puppy.\rdblquote
\ldblquote What\rquote s his name, Ed Bovilas The Second?\rdblquote I laughed.
\ldblquote Nah, he\rquote s not \b that\b0 bad,\rdblquote she teased.
\ldblquote Ouch.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Sorry, couldn\rquote t resist. Anyhow, let\rquote s stop talking about my love life. Let\rquote s talk about yours.\rdblquote
\ldblquote OK, we can talk about my love life,\rdblquote I said with a smirk. \ldblquote There. We\rquote re done. The world\rquote s shortest conversation.\rdblquote
\ldblquote You think,\rdblquote she said, playfully whapping me on the arm. \ldblquote Listen. I told you, back in November, after Chris dumped you--I told you opportunity was going to be knocking.\rdblquote
\ldblquote It must have lost my address,\rdblquote I teased.
\ldblquote You just be quiet. Now, really--listen to me. It\rquote s going to knock. And I know all about it, OK? You have to understand that. I know all about it.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Kara, what are you talking about?\rdblquote
\ldblquote You\rquote ll understand, trust me. Just remember, I want the people I love to be happy, OK? I want the people I care about to be happy, and I know all about it. Just remember all that.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Whatever you say,\rdblquote I said.
\ldblquote Good. Trust me. Anyhow, I have to go kick my boyfriend\rquote s ass. See you later.\rdblquote With that, she was gone.
I had to shake my head in puzzlement, and bemusement. I had absolutely no idea what Kara had just been going on about. After a while, with the party in full swing and me chatting with everyone, I forgot about it.
About a half hour later, I got up to fetch a soda. When I went back to the couch I\rquote d spent most of the night sitting on, it was empty. So, I grabbed my seat back, figuring someone would drift over sooner or later. I liked grabbing a seat at a party and having the party revolve all around.
Shortly thereafter, Kelly showed up and plopped down next to me. \ldblquote Hey, you,\rdblquote she said.
\ldblquote Hiya, Kel. What\rquote s up?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Not much. Good party, huh?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Yeah, it\rquote s good.\rdblquote
\ldblquote So. I saw Kara sitting down here a while ago. Did you tell her to smack her boyfriend around?\rdblquote Kelly snorted.
\ldblquote Not in so many words, but, yeah, pretty much. I think she\rquote s pretty fed up.\rdblquote
\ldblquote She should be. So, what else did you guys talk about?\rdblquote
I wondered why she was asking this, but I answered her. \ldblquote Well, Kara was trying to talk about my love life, but I didn\rquote t understand a friggin\rquote word she said. She\rquote s being very cryptic this evening,\rdblquote I laughed.
\ldblquote Ah. I\rquote m guessing she said something about opportunity knocking, and how she knows about it?\rdblquote
I looked at Kelly, surprised. \ldblquote Well, yes. How did \b you\b0 know that?\rdblquote
She smiled, and moved closer to me on the couch. Then she softly said, \ldblquote Knock knock,\rdblquote leaned over, and kissed me.
I did \b not\b0 see this coming! I mean, Kelly and I were friends. Furthermore, she was Kara\rquote s best friend! She was the absolute last person I expect to be sitting here kissing me. But here she was. She broke the kiss and flashed me a huge smile.
\ldblquote Kelly Cullinane, what the heck is going on?\rdblquote
She laughed. \ldblquote You\rquote re not stupid, Ed. Figure it out.\rdblquote
\ldblquote It seems like you\rquote re coming on to me.\rdblquote
\ldblquote And, look, it only took you one guess! See, I knew you weren\rquote t stupid.\rdblquote She looked at me. \ldblquote Remember what Kara told you, she \b knew\b0 about this.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Ah,\rdblquote I said, finally understanding that bit. \ldblquote But where did this come from?\rdblquote
Kelly looked down. \ldblquote Do you remember, back in like third and fourth grade, when you had a crush on me?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Sure.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Well, I never had the guts to tell you this, but it was returned. And, honestly, it never really went away. And then you fell for Kara. Well, Kara\rquote s my best friend, so I didn\rquote t want to get in the middle of that. Although I\rquote ll admit there were a few times when she was blowing you off that I wanted to smack you around to get you to wise up!
\ldblquote Then she said yes, and you two started going out. I was happy for you guys, really. She \b is\b0 my best friend, after all. I managed to be happy and not get jealous. Then she left, and you guys broke up. I dithered about it for a while, because I knew I wanted to go out with you and knew I\rquote d have to talk to Kara first, and hadn\rquote t had a chance.
\ldblquote Then you started going out with Christine. That \b did\b0 make me jealous, I\rquote ll admit. And I\rquote d talked to Kara and she\rquote d told me to go with it, but you had Christine. When you guys finally broke up, my first thought was to ask you to the dance. Then Kara told me why you and Chris broke up, and I certainly wasn\rquote t going to get in the way of you taking Beth to the dance, because I thought that was a good thing. So, I figured, tonight was my chance.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Wait a minute,\rdblquote I said, my head reeling from her discourse. \ldblquote You\rquote re saying you like me?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Uh-huh,\rdblquote she said, grinning.
\ldblquote In \b that\b0 way?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Uh-huh.\rdblquote
\ldblquote So you want to, what, go out with me?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Most definitely.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Wow. I did \b not\b0 see this coming.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I know you didn\rquote t. I was completely scared to say anything--and then there was Kara. So, you didn\rquote t have any way of knowing. Now you do.\rdblquote
I looked at her. \ldblquote It took you a lot of guts to say it now, didn\rquote t it?\rdblquote
She laughed. \ldblquote Well, I think desperation is closer.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Desperate about \b me\b0 ?\rdblquote
\ldblquote I figured this was probably my last chance,\rdblquote she said. Then she looked down. \ldblquote So,\rdblquote she practically whispered, \ldblquote what do you think?\rdblquote
That was a good question, now, wasn\rquote t it? I hadn\rquote t really thought about it at all. I mean, she was Kara\rquote s best friend, so I didn\rquote t \b allow\b0 myself to think about it. But Kara, apparently, was all for it.
So, what did I think? Well, Kelly was definitely cute. She had a pixie face, with dark reddish-blonde hair. More importantly, she had a great personality. She was upbeat, happy, and a lot of fun. She was very popular because of all that. She was almost impossible to dislike. However, she was also very smart and could think--her usual upbeat demeanor was \b not\b0 because of empty-headedness or anything like that. Kelly was no doormat. She just had a good way of dealing with things. Hell, being in a back brace--she dealt with that a lot better than most people would have--and that includes me. She just had a sunny disposition, but wasn\rquote t an airhead.
As an added bonus, we\rquote d \b always\b0 been friends. The only time she\rquote d ever turned on me even for an instant was in fifth grade when I got in that fight with Patrick. And I didn\rquote t blame her for that. Family loyalty ran deep in my own family, so I could understand it. Plus, it hadn\rquote t lasted long, and then she was her usual self.
Since my recycling last year, we\rquote d been particularly close friends. That\rquote s when it hit me--we\rquote d been particularly close friends even though she wanted to go out with me and I was going out with her best friend. Even with that, we were still close friends.
Wow. I mean, \b wow\b0 . Is that friendship, or what? And a good and solid friendship is the best foundation for something more, isn\rquote t it?
The more I thought about it, the easier it got. \ldblquote What do I think?\rdblquote I finally said to her. \ldblquote I think we should go out. That\rquote s what I think.\rdblquote
\ldblquote YES!\rdblquote she hissed, then launched herself into my lap and started kissing me again.
The funny part was that we were in the middle of a party and nobody even noticed. Well, except for Kara, who walked by and flashed us a thumbs-up!
\b JANUARY 6th, 1979\b0
It was a little weird. The day after the party, the first of the year, was on a Monday--so, we were right back in school the next day, a Tuesday. Which meant that Kelly and I went back to school as a couple. Even though we hadn\rquote t had an actual date yet!
That was rectified on this day, a Saturday. We were going to go to the shopping center, then go see Superman The Movie. It was a frigid cold day so my Mom agreed to drive us. We got to the mall and went to find some lunch. Sitting and eating it, we chatted.
\ldblquote My brother gave me the brotherly lecture when he found out we were going out,\rdblquote she said.
\ldblquote He did?\rdblquote I asked, surprised.
\ldblquote Yeah. I think I settled him down.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I thought he liked me. We\rquote ve been getting along.\rdblquote
\ldblquote He does,\rdblquote she said, \ldblquote but...well, it\rquote s what Kara told everyone that you guys did. And he worries about me.\rdblquote
I sighed. \ldblquote This was one of the reasons I wasn\rquote t crazy about Kara telling.\rdblquote
\ldblquote You weren\rquote t?\rdblquote she said. \ldblquote I thought you would have loved it. Why weren\rquote t you happy?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Because it sets up weird and awkward situations. Like this one. Kelly, I\rquote m 14 years old--actually, not even, my birthday is in four days. And I\rquote m on a first date. And we\rquote re talking about sex. And your brother--who I consider a friend--found it necessary to warn you about me. As an added bonus, it probably fucked up my relationship with Christine.\rdblquote
\ldblquote You had sex with Christine?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Yes, and I feel horrible about it. It was her idea, but it was for the wrong reasons, I went along with it because I was thinking with my you-know-what, and the first time was a disaster. The next few times were better, but still. And here we are, talking about it. It worries me.\rdblquote
\ldblquote OK,\rdblquote she said, \ldblquote you want me to lay it on the line?\rdblquote I nodded. \ldblquote Fine. I will not deny that Kara\rquote s descriptions have me, well, interested. And I think it is possible that we will have sex. But not now. I\rquote m not ready. It\rquote s not going to happen right away.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Good. Fine. Wonderful. Hallelujiah, even,\rdblquote I said.
She giggled. \ldblquote Good. And I will set the pace.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Agreed, except I reserve the right to slow you down.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Sure.\rdblquote Then she blinked. \ldblquote You\rquote d do that?\rdblquote
\ldblquote I might. I\rquote ll be honest, if you wanted to have sex right now, I\rquote d turn you down. I\rquote d be suspicious of your motives, just like I should have been with Christine.\rdblquote
\ldblquote What were her motives?\rdblquote
\ldblquote To claim me, put her mark on me, that kind of thing.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Ah,\rdblquote she said, then grinned. \ldblquote It couldn\rquote t have been that she was hot for your body, you stud?\rdblquote
I broke up laughing. \ldblquote Yeah, OK, that must be it.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Anyhow, I don\rquote t feel the need to claim you. I\rquote m not really the jealous type. I figure if you\rquote re going out with me, then you\rquote re going out with me. And if we both stay happy then it\rquote ll continue to go on. I certainly don\rquote t mind that you have female friends--most especially Beth.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Ah, that\rquote s a sore spot.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Really? What\rquote s up?\rdblquote she asked.
I explained the situation. \ldblquote Ah,\rdblquote she said. \ldblquote Eddie? Keep pushing, OK? If you don\rquote t, you\rquote ll regret it, a lot.\rdblquote
Damn, was she perceptive or what? It took me years to realize that, and only after it was too late, the first time around. \ldblquote I know. You are right.\rdblquote
\b JANUARY 8th, 1979
\b0
Kelly grabbed me at lunch in school. \ldblquote Where\rquote s Beth?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Over there, with Olivia.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Let\rquote s go invade their table,\rdblquote she laughed. \ldblquote Like I said, keep pushing.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Actually, I\rquote m going to take care of this myself. Don\rquote t look for me on the bus this afternoon.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Ah, OK. Good plan,\rdblquote she said. We went and ate with the usual crowd.
I got out of school in a hurry that day, walked down the road, into the beginning of the railroad tracks, and waited. Beth came along shortly thereafter.
\ldblquote Hey,\rdblquote I said. She looked up.
\ldblquote Eddie? What are you doing here?\rdblquote
\ldblquote I wanted to talk to you.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Well, I\rquote m kind of in a hurry, I have things to do at home.\rdblquote
I took a deep breath. \ldblquote Beth? Stop it.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Stop what?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Stop avoiding me. Stop pushing me away. I know that\rquote s exactly what you are doing, and I\rquote m not going to let you get away with it anymore.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Oh, no, it\rquote s just that I\rquote ve been busy.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Elizabeth Marie Trovini, you are a \b terrible\b0 liar.\rdblquote
She blinked, and took a breath. Then she said, very softly, \ldblquote I just don\rquote t want you to get too attached to me.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Sorry, too late.\rdblquote
\ldblquote That\rquote s the point. I don\rquote t want it to get any worse.\rdblquote
I took a breath. I needed to get through to her. \ldblquote So, you\rquote re going to commit suicide?\rdblquote
\ldblquote WHAT?\rdblquote she said, shocked.
\ldblquote Let\rquote s spare everyone some pain, right? Get it over with.\rdblquote
\ldblquote My God, Eddie, you really think I\rquote d \b do\b0 that?\rdblquote
\ldblquote No, I don\rquote t think you\rquote d do that,\rdblquote I said, and then paused. \ldblquote Except to me.\rdblquote
She stopped, and blinked, and looked at me. \ldblquote Oh, shit. I am, aren\rquote t I?\rdblquote Good, that was proof I\rquote d gotten through to her. Beth pretty much \b never\b0 swore.
\ldblquote Yep,\rdblquote I said. \ldblquote That\rquote s what you\rquote re doing, and it stops right now.\rdblquote
She smiled at me. \ldblquote OK. You\rquote re right. I just thought I might spare you some pain.\rdblquote
\ldblquote But you wouldn\rquote t have. You\rquote d have just made it worse.\rdblquote Boy, did I know \b that\b0 for a fact!
\ldblquote OK. And, I\rquote ll admit it, I\rquote ve missed you.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Good,\rdblquote I said with a grin. \ldblquote I missed you, too. I have nobody to talk to. I have nobody to tell cool stuff to--like this one: I started going out with Kelly this week.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Another one for the list,\rdblquote she grinned. \ldblquote At least I stuck around long enough to see Ed Bovilas become a lady-killer. Who would\rquote ve ever guessed \b that\b0 ?\rdblquote
\ldblquote You just shut up.\rdblquote
We walked to her house, bantering as usual. It was delightful.
I did it. The thing I didn\rquote t do the first time--I did it this time. I stopped the push-away. I was so damn happy about it I can\rquote t even express it.
\b
FEBRUARY, 20th, 1979\b0
As my relationship with Beth went back to its previous easy friendship, I also had Kelly to worry about.
Though there wasn\rquote t much worry involved. It was very easy. Look, I\rquote d liked Kelly forever, so it was an easy decision to go out with her. But she\rquote d asked me out.
It was different. I\rquote d been so besotted with Kara before we ever went out, our first few dates were rather nerve-wracking. It wasn\rquote t that way with Kelly, as she\rquote d first pursued me. And we\rquote d been friends for a while, so we kind of just eased into things.
I quickly discovered something--Kelly was really, \b really\b0 good for me. Let\rquote s face it--I wasn\rquote t quite normal. Even before we started talking about someone that went back in time. I was still kind of skittish and worried. The spazziness that had been a feature of my personality the first time around hadn\rquote t completely gone away, and it sometimes seemed like I was still constantly looking over my shoulder. Beth\rquote s illness didn\rquote t help.
Kelly was just the antithesis of that. She calmed me down with her relentlessly upbeat attitude. There was a lot of laughter in our relationship, which was just what I needed. She loved me, simple as that, and she wanted both of us to be happy. You know what? We were.
I fell in love with her in a damn hurry. It just seemed so natural for us to be together.
Even my Dad noticed it. \ldblquote I know you loved Kara, but it almost seemed like you were waiting for the other shoe to drop.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Well, that\rquote s because I knew it \b was\b0 going to drop, when she went away to school,\rdblquote I told him.
\ldblquote True. But, with Kelly, you\rquote re just happy--period.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I agree. She\rquote s great.\rdblquote
This day, February 20th, was a Tuesday, in the middle of February vacation. I hadn\rquote t expected to see her. In fact, I was playing street hockey with the neighborhood gang.
This was the first year I\rquote d really started hanging out with them. I was the oldest person in the gang. The closest in age to me were Deirdre Neeland (whom everyone called DeeDee, or Dee) and Craig Gouliere. Both were two years younger. DeeDee\rquote s younger brother, George, was over six years younger than me--I\rquote d just turned 14, he wasn\rquote t 8 yet. But he was the best athlete on the street, so he played with all us older guys.
We generally congregated at the Neeland\rquote s. We played basketball in their yard, and street hockey out in front of their house, at the top of Hereford St. DeeDee and George had a sister, Lynne, who was in the middle age-wise.
The first time around, I\rquote d had a terrific crush on DeeDee. That was the first of many crushes I had on girls in the neighborhood gang. It went from Dee to one of her friends. Later it was Lynne\rquote s best friend Katrina Radniak. Just an example of how desperate I was in those days.
However, now, at 14, it should\rquote ve been Dee that I had the crush on. Of course, I had Kelly. And I realized how silly my crush on Dee was in the first place.
Of course, funny things happen. Dee showed signs of having a crush on \b me\b0 . The allure of the unavailable, I guess. Though, she didn\rquote t know I was unavailable--I didn\rquote t really talk about Kelly with the neighborhood crew--I just didn\rquote t show any interest. Jeez, if I had figured out the secret of aloofness the first time around, who knows what would\rquote ve happened!
Anyhow, on this day, it was right after lunch and we were playing street hockey. George and Craig were there. Also there were Tim and Mark Tremblay, two guys from down the street. Jerry Barberie, who lived a few doors down from the Neelands and who was best friends with Craig also played. Tim\rquote s two best friends, Keith Wills and Kenny Simmons, often played with us and they were there. The roster was filled out with Brendan and Rick O\rquote Malley, who lived around the corner.
We were all playing, and a few of the girls were watching us--Dee and Lynne. Dee\rquote s two best friends Penny McGill and Melissa Nellis were hanging out with Dee, sitting on the Neelands\rquote front steps. (Melissa was the one I eventually had a crush on the first time around.) They were kind of watching us, but not really. Penny, by the way, hated my guts.
The game was proceeding nicely. I love street hockey. I was playing defense, and a ball got by me. They didn\rquote t score, the shot went past the net, but the problem with that was the hill that sloped down Hereford Street. Every time a ball got past on that side, it was a chase to the bottom of the hill. That\rquote s what I went to do, but, when I looked up, the ball was being scooped up by someone. She stood up--and it was Kelly.
I couldn\rquote t help it--my face just broke out into a wide-ass grin. She returned it. \ldblquote Looking for something?\rdblquote she said, holding up the ball.
\ldblquote Hey, lady, can we have our ball back?\rdblquote I teased.
\ldblquote I don\rquote t know,\rdblquote she said, starting to walk up the hill. \ldblquote What do I get for it?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Our undying gratitude?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Try again.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Good karma?\rdblquote
\ldblquote You can do better than that.\rdblquote
By this time she\rquote d made it up the hill and was standing in front of me. \ldblquote Well, then, how about this?\rdblquote I took my hockey stick in both hands, hooked it behind her back, pulled her close, and kissed her. A good long one.
\ldblquote Hmmm,\rdblquote she purred after we broke the kiss, \ldblquote I guess that\rquote s a fair trade.\rdblquote She handed me the ball.
\ldblquote What are you doing here?\rdblquote
\ldblquote I wanted to see you. That OK?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Of course. You want me to hang up the game?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Nah, go play for a bit,\rdblquote she said, grinning and waving at the playing area. \ldblquote I\rquote ll watch.\rdblquote
I turned back towards the game, and saw everyone there looking at me in astonishment. Like I said, I hadn\rquote t talked about Kelly to them. \ldblquote That\rquote s the gang. Gang, this is Kelly, my girlfriend.\rdblquote
\ldblquote You have a \b girlfriend\b0 ?\rdblquote Craig said in disbelief.
\ldblquote You mean you don\rquote t talk about me all the time?\rdblquote Kelly mock-pouted. \ldblquote I think I\rquote m hurt.\rdblquote
\ldblquote This crowd would never believe me. They all think I\rquote m a dork.\rdblquote
\ldblquote You \b are\b0 a dork. But you\rquote re \b my\b0 dork,\rdblquote she said.
\ldblquote Kelly, honey, love of my life?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Yes, dear?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Go suck an egg.\rdblquote
She grinned, walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, \ldblquote Oh, I can think of far better things than an egg to suck.\rdblquote I gaped at her for a second, then laughed so hard I almost dropped my hockey stick. Our relationship had \b not\b0 gotten that physical by that point. What a brat. I loved it!
She walked over to the porch. \ldblquote Hi, I\rquote m Kelly,\rdblquote she told the girls gathered there. \ldblquote I\rquote m Eddie\rquote s girlfriend.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Eddie has a \b girlfriend\b0 ?\rdblquote Penny sneered.
\ldblquote Oh, Penny, shut up,\rdblquote DeeDee said. \ldblquote I\rquote m DeeDee, or Dee.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Or Dierdre,\rdblquote I butt in.
\ldblquote The only two people who ever call me Dierdre are Mom, and you,\rdblquote she retorted. \ldblquote That\rquote s my sister Lynne. These are my friends Penny and Melissa.\rdblquote
We started getting the game back together then. \ldblquote She\rquote s very cute,\rdblquote Craig said to me as we set up for the face-off.
\ldblquote That she is.\rdblquote
We got back into it. It was 3-3 and we were playing to 5. They almost got one--Craig had an empty net, and Rick, our goalie, was out of position. But I blocked it. Like I said, I liked to play defense. Those damn hard orange street hockey balls hurt like hell, though, and I took that one right off my shoulder!
\ldblquote Just don\rquote t get hit in the mouth,\rdblquote Kelly shouted with a giggle, \ldblquote I\rquote m expecting some kissing later!\rdblquote I just grinned and waved at her.
We got a good offensive series going after that. Brendan O\rquote Malley, who was on my team, was the best hockey player in the neighborhood, even at 9 years old. The first time around, he ended up playing major college hockey, was drafted by an NHL team, and spent a few years in the minors. He never did make it to the NHL, but still. We were all rank amateurs. That gave you an idea of how good Brendan was compared to the rest of us.
Anyway, we had an offensive flurry. Brendan was in tight, by their net, with the ball. They closed in on him, and he made an absolutely gorgeous pass back to me at the point. I hit a one-timer, and their goalie--Mark Tremblay--wasn\rquote t quick enough. 4-3, us. Kelly squealed, which was fun!
They tied it up shortly thereafter, as Craig got around me and tucked one behind our goalie, Brendan\rquote s brother Rick. I wasn\rquote t happy.
We won the game right afterwards though. This time it was me passing to Brendan, who poked it home.
\ldblquote Good game,\rdblquote Craig said afterwards. \ldblquote Want to go again?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Not for me. I think there\rquote s someone over on the porch that needs my attention.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Darn straight!\rdblquote Kelly said. There wasn\rquote t enough room on the small porch, so I sat down on the ground in the front yard. Kelly quickly got up off the porch and settled in front of me, sitting between my legs. I wrapped my arms around her waist.
\ldblquote So,\rdblquote she said to me, \ldblquote why is it that all these people are surprised you have a girlfriend?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Because I\rquote m me,\rdblquote I said with a shrug.
\ldblquote Oh, yeah, that explains everything,\rdblquote she laughed.
\ldblquote We\rquote re amazed because none of us would ever go out with him.\rdblquote Melissa sneered. Yeah, I found that out the hard way the first time around. Bitch. \ldblquote I mean, can you imagine getting asked out by Ed Bovilas?\rdblquote she continued, sharing a nasty little laugh with Penny.
\ldblquote Actually, I can\rquote t, either,\rdblquote Kelly said with a fake-sweet little smile, \ldblquote because I asked \b him\b0 out.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Excuse me?\rdblquote Penny said, amazed.
\ldblquote Well, you have to understand. Last year, he went out with my best friend Kara. I liked Eddie back then, but he was ga-ga over Kara and I didn\rquote t want to interfere with that. Anyhow, Kara\rquote s away at school, and they decided to break up because they\rquote d never see each other.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Very amicably,\rdblquote I added. \ldblquote Kara\rquote s still one of my best friends. We write back and forth all the time.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Right. But they\rquote re not dating. And I wanted to go out with Eddie, but knew he\rquote d never ask, out of respect to Kara. So, I cleared it with Kara. Kara gave him a little hint that it would be OK with her--and then I attacked him at a New Year\rquote s Eve party.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Took me completely by surprise,\rdblquote I added.
\ldblquote It sure did! Anyhow, we\rquote ve been together ever since.\rdblquote
\ldblquote That\rquote s actually kind of sweet,\rdblquote Dee said. \ldblquote Kara must be a very generous person.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Or eager to dump Eddie on someone else,\rdblquote Penny sniggered.
\ldblquote Not at all,\rdblquote Kelly told her. \ldblquote Like I said, Kara\rquote s away at boarding school. She loves both of us and wants us to be happy. We make each other happy, and she knew that would happen, simple as that.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Heck, she\rquote s on her second boyfriend at school,\rdblquote I laughed. \ldblquote She dumped one right after Christmas and found a new one about a month ago.\rdblquote
\ldblquote We worked all this out. I know it\rquote s a little unusual, but we\rquote re happy,\rdblquote Kelly told them.
\ldblquote But you broke up with Kara because of distance, not because you don\rquote t love each other or anything, right?\rdblquote Dee asked. I nodded. \ldblquote So what if she comes and says she wants you back?\rdblquote
Kelly stiffened in my arms at that question. She was worried about this? Time to put those worries to rest. \ldblquote You mean, if she wants me back and I\rquote m still with Kelly?\rdblquote I asked. Dee nodded. \ldblquote Nope. No way. First of all, she wouldn\rquote t, ever. But even if she did--no way. Look, Kara will always be special to me. But I\rquote m in love with Kelly and very happy, so no way. I would never betray Kelly like that. Kara knows the score.\rdblquote
Kelly had relaxed when I first said, \ldblquote No way,\rdblquote but she stiffened again in the middle of that. We chatted with my friends for a while afterwards, so I waited until we were walking back to my house that I asked her about it. \ldblquote Are you OK? You seemed upset when I was talking about Kara.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I\rquote ll be honest, I\rquote ve worried about that,\rdblquote she admitted. \ldblquote I\rquote m glad you answered the way you did.\rdblquote
\ldblquote OK, but you kind of went stiff again after I said what I said about Kara.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Well,\rdblquote she said, \ldblquote it\rquote s just that, well...that\rquote s the first time you ever said you were in love with me.\rdblquote
She\rquote s right. It was. And I hadn\rquote t done it very well, had I? I stopped her, right in the middle of the street, and turned her towards me. I looked right in her eyes and said, \ldblquote I love you, Kelly Cullinane.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I love you, too,\rdblquote she said softly, with a little smile. Then she hugged me. For a good couple of minutes. And she only broke the hug because a car was coming down the street and we were in the way!
We went back to my house. Mom invited Kelly to stay for dinner, and she called her mom and got permission. It was great--she even got along with my bratty brother and sister.
Afterwards, we ended up in the living room, alone, just chatting.
\ldblquote I worry about it. I\rquote ve never told you this, but you kind of opened the door today. I worry about Kara. I know you still love her. I wondered if I was just a substitute or something.\rdblquote Her voice dropped. \ldblquote Plus, you did things with her. Things that I\rquote m not ready for.\rdblquote
\ldblquote That doesn\rquote t matter,\rdblquote I told her. \ldblquote Whenever you\rquote re ready is fine with me.\rdblquote And I meant that. \ldblquote Hey, I started early, and I know it. It just happened that way. And I\rquote m not going to deny for a second that you turn me on.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I do?\rdblquote she said with a little giggle.
\ldblquote You bet you do. But I can wait, really. It\rquote s not a problem. As for the other thing--well, it\rquote s what I said. Kara will always be special to me. But I really, truly love you. I don\rquote t think I\rquote ve ever been this happy.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Really?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Really. We\rquote re very compatible.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Good, I thought it was just me that saw how compatible we are!\rdblquote
\ldblquote Nope. I see it more and more every day.\rdblquote
That made her very happy. She leaned over and gave me a good long kiss.
\b MARCH 2, 1979\b0
This was a Friday. I got a very unusual request this day from Beth. \ldblquote Hey, can you come somewhere with me this afternoon?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Sure. Where?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Olivia\rquote s house. She has a date. I helped her buy a couple new outfits last week, but she\rquote s panicking and wants help picking one out and doing her hair and all that. I need the male perspective.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Sure. Livvie has a date?\rdblquote
Beth grinned. \ldblquote With Dennis Boulier.\rdblquote
Oy. I\rquote m not sure I liked that. \ldblquote Dennis Boulier? I\rquote m not sure I trust that guy as far as I can throw him. He\rquote s a bit scary.\rdblquote
\ldblquote To be honest, I have the same worries. But he and Livvie really get along well, and he asked her out, and I\rquote m thrilled for her.\rdblquote
\ldblquote OK,\rdblquote I shrugged. \ldblquote Whatever she wants.\rdblquote
We met after school, and walked to Olivia\rquote s. She was apparently already headed home. She lived very close by to the Junior High, it wasn\rquote t a long walk at all. On the way, Beth and I talked.
\ldblquote Olivia is in denial. Complete denial--about me, I mean.\rdblquote She sighed. \ldblquote When I became friends with her, I didn\rquote t intend for this to happen. I\rquote m wondering if my friendship is going to hurt her in the long run. She\rquote s not going to be able to deal with it.\rdblquote
\ldblquote That\rquote s tough,\rdblquote I told her. \ldblquote I almost can\rquote t blame her, though. I mean, to all appearances, you look and act completely healthy. There are times that I have to resist being in denial.\rdblquote I probably would be, actually, without the foreknowledge. \ldblquote Livvie sees you the way you are, you know what I mean?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Yes, I do,\rdblquote Beth replied. \ldblquote There are times when it\rquote s hard for \b me\b0 not to go into denial. Because I do feel good. But it\rquote s like there\rquote s an alarm clock hanging over my head, the alarm is set, it\rquote s gonna go off--and I have no idea when.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Livvie can\rquote t see the alarm clock at all, though, is what you\rquote re telling me.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Right.\rdblquote
By that time, we\rquote d arrived at Olivia\rquote s house. And I realized a whole lot about Olivia in a very short time.
First of all, she was horrified Beth had brought me. Beth explained that she wanted the male point-of-view. Beth had apparently been in Olivia\rquote s house before, so Olivia was comfortable with her there, but was embarrassed for \b me\b0 to be there.
I soon found out why. First of all, Olivia lived in a housing project right behind the Junior High. Look, Cabot was a suburb--I\rquote m not talking about a housing project in Chicago or Boston or anything like that. From the outside, the neat duplexes were well-kept and pretty. But just living there meant you didn\rquote t have money.
I realized more when I went inside. Olivia\rquote s mother was there, drunk as a skunk. Evidently her father was gone. She had two older brothers, who I knew from sight. They went to the vocational school, which was attached to the Junior High--and they were both bad news. Drugs, drinking, bullying, the whole bit. With an absent father, an all-but-absent mother, and two brothers who were brutes--I strongly suspected that Livvie took some abuse in this house.
She quickly steered Beth and me to her room. At least she had her own room, and she\rquote d quite obviously carved out a place of solace for herself there. It was the only room in the house that was neat and clean. She had nicely arranged her threadbare belongings. It was her home--the only place in the whole house that felt like any kind of \lquote home\rquote . It was a crushing experience.
I knew she had few friends. She had few material possessions. She had very little in the way of a social life. Now I quickly realized she had nothing that could reasonably be called a real \lquote family\rquote , either. I got a lot of this at first glance--the dots were connected by Beth as we walked to her house afterwards. I was right, about everything. Livvie\rquote s life was a nightmare, for the most part.
I hoped beyond all reasonable hope that her date with Dennis Boulier would work out, and that they\rquote d find something with each other.
Because, if it didn\rquote t--well, really, Beth had become pretty much all that Olivia had. And Beth was dying.
I didn\rquote t even want to think about it.
I got home for supper and, after supper, got a call from Kelly. She immediately heard something in my voice and asked her mother to drive me to her house. It was just what I needed, and she instinctively knew that. We had a long talk, which ended with us in the closest thing to a make-out session we\rquote d ever had. Clothes stayed on, but my hands were all over her, with her encouragement. It made me feel better. I was still worried, about a lot of things, but Kelly had a way of just making me feel better about my place in the world.
The difference between this and the first time around was almost night and day. The first time around, there was no Kelly.
\b MARCH 17th, 1979\b0
We got lucky. It was a Saturday, and it was unseasonably warm for March in Massachusetts. Kelly and I had plans, though exactly what we were going to do was undefined. I asked her what she wanted to do, and she shrugged. \ldblquote Why don\rquote t we just take a walk?\rdblquote
\ldblquote OK, anywhere particular?\rdblquote
\ldblquote You pick.\rdblquote
This was a bit delicate. Because, quite honestly, I thought she was giving me a hint--though I couldn\rquote t quite be sure. Hey, I was used to Kara, whose hints were so blatant as to not even really be hints. And then there was Christine, who just came out and said she wanted to have sex. Kelly and I hadn\rquote t gotten more physical than making out--and not much of that, as we didn\rquote t easily have any way to be alone. But it was a nice day, she wanted to take a walk, and wanted me to pick where. I was quite sure Kara had told her a lot, including all about Braddox Hill.
Kelly wasn\rquote t aggressive. I knew that. She wouldn\rquote t tell me what she wanted. She\rquote d rely on me to try until she said stop--knowing that I would. The problem was that being aggressive, quite honestly, wasn\rquote t my strong suit either. It never had been, not even in adulthood in the old life. But that was what Kelly was expecting. At least I thought that\rquote s what she was expecting.
We walked down the street, chatting. Then we got to the intersection. I led her across the street and then into the baseball fields at the foot of the hill. \ldblquote That\rquote s Braddox Hill?\rdblquote she asked.
\ldblquote Yeah.\rdblquote
She didn\rquote t say anything, but she took my hand and smiled. We walked through the baseball fields and up the hill.
Kelly looked over the side of the hill. \ldblquote Kara did tell me there was a wonderful view from up here.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I\rquote ve always liked it.\rdblquote
I sat on the grass at the top of hill. Kelly, after looking at the view for a minute, came down and sat next to me, still smiling.
I leaned in and kissed her. She eagerly kissed back. I tentatively probed at her mouth with my tongue, and she quickly opened her mouth and sucked my tongue into her mouth, entwining her tongue around mine. This was the deepest tongue-kiss we\rquote d ever engaged in, and it was making Kelly melt.
We were still sitting. I decided to lie back, and I pulled her down on top of me, which made her break the kiss for a minute and giggle. Then our lips met again. She was sprawled all over me. I could feel her breasts press into my chest as we kissed. I pulled her close to me around her waist, and then let one of my hands roam down to her ass. She moaned into my mouth and squirmed as my hand cupped her ass.
Feeling bold, I took my other hand and slipped it in between our bodies, putting it right on her boob. I closely paid attention to her reaction. She moaned again, and pressed her boob into my hand.
I decided to keep going. I rolled, talking her with me, so we ended up on the ground side-by-side. Then I pulled down the zipper to her coat. She was wearing a polo shirt tucked into a pair of jeans. I pulled the hem of the shirt out of the jeans--waiting the whole time for her to stop me. Then I slowly started working my way up inside her shirt, still waiting for the stop command.
I didn\rquote t get it. She just kissed me harder. My hand found her boob--covered by her bra, but still. I thought I was taking a big chance. Instead, I was really just giving her what she wanted.
She broke the kiss and whispered in my ear, \ldblquote That bra clips in the front.\rdblquote I, of course, went right for the clip. In a few seconds, I had my hand on her bare tit. She sighed, then kissed me again--practically shoving her tongue down my throat this time!
That\rquote s as far as we got this day. That was fine with me. We did this for a while, and then she straightened up and put herself back together. \ldblquote I think I\rquote m getting too excited,\rdblquote she said.
\ldblquote I could take care of that,\rdblquote I leered.
\ldblquote I bet you could!\rdblquote she laughed. \ldblquote And you will. Just not today.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I know. It\rquote s fine, you know.\rdblquote
She smiled, and we started walking down the hill. When we got to the bottom, we held hands again and started walking. \ldblquote I\rquote ve been very scared.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Of what?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Of us. Of us getting physical. It\rquote s been worrying me.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Look, Kelly, we don\rquote t have to, you know.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I want to, but I\rquote ve been scared.\rdblquote She took a deep breath. \ldblquote The fear started to go away last month, when we were up the street with your friends.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Oh. You were scared because you worry about Kara.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Yeah.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I hope I took care of that.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Mostly. I guess, I don\rquote t know...I guess I always figured that you and Kara were just on hiatus or something. That you\rquote d eventually get back together.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I can\rquote t predict the future. I can tell you this, though...the only way Kara and I would ever get back together is if something happened to you and me. And I don\rquote t see that happening. I really am happy, Kelly, and I really do love you.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Good!\rdblquote
\b MARCH 22nd, 1979\b0
This was an interesting day.
I missed the bus. I wasn\rquote t the only one, though--Kelly missed it, too. No, actually, we weren\rquote t together. That would\rquote ve probably been a better story, if we had missed the bus because we were making out or something! But, no, we were both talking separately to teachers. We met up when we both came out of the school and ran after the fleeing bus.
Kelly didn\rquote t think she\rquote d have a problem, because her mother was usually home. Not this time. We both got off the phone, with neither of our mothers\rquote home. \ldblquote Crap. What do we do now?\rdblquote Kelly said.
Just then, Beth appeared out the door. \ldblquote You missed the bus again?\rdblquote she teased.
\ldblquote Yeah. Kelly did, too.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Ah,\rdblquote she said with a knowing grin. I had to tell \b her\b0 that we weren\rquote t together! Geez.
\ldblquote You know, everyone\rquote s going to think that,\rdblquote Kelly laughed. \ldblquote When they find out we both missed the bus, they\rquote re going to think we were making out in a stairway or something. Including my mother.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Yup,\rdblquote Beth agreed. \ldblquote Well, come on!\rdblquote she said.
Kelly looked at me. \ldblquote I usually walk to her house and wait there if I miss the bus. Her mother\rquote s friends with mine.\rdblquote I turned to Beth. \ldblquote I\rquote m gonna stay here with Kelly.\rdblquote
\ldblquote You goof, I meant \b both\b0 of you. Come on, my mom won\rquote t mind.\rdblquote Kelly and I shrugged, and got up and followed her.
\ldblquote Thanks a lot, Beth, this is nice of you,\rdblquote Kelly told her.
\ldblquote Oh, no problem. Eddie\rquote s mom is usually around by four.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Yeah, and she can give us both a ride home if your mom\rquote s not there yet,\rdblquote I said.
We got to the railroad tracks and turned down them. \ldblquote So, how\rquote s Olivia?\rdblquote I asked Beth.
She sighed. \ldblquote OK, I guess. She\rquote s still seeing Dennis. I doubt that\rquote s going to last. Hopefully, she\rquote ll wake up. He doesn\rquote t treat her very well.\rdblquote
\ldblquote He wouldn\rquote t,\rdblquote I said.
\ldblquote Yeah. She won\rquote t tell me, but I strongly suspect she\rquote s sleeping with him. And for the same exact reasons Christine slept with you,\rdblquote she told me.
\ldblquote Ah, shit,\rdblquote I muttered. \ldblquote I made a mistake with that, and I know it. Somehow I\rquote ll bet that Dennis is just taking advantage of it.\rdblquote
\ldblquote No doubt,\rdblquote Beth snorted.
\ldblquote I think Christine did that because she had an erroneous impression of me. I don\rquote t think that\rquote s the case with Livvie and Dennis.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Nope. Dennis is eating it up, I\rquote d wager,\rdblquote Beth said. \ldblquote I worry about Olivia. She doesn\rquote t know what she\rquote s getting into. Then again, with her brothers, how could she? Those two are complete pigs. Do you know one of them tried to get me into bed? They know I\rquote m sick, they\rquote ve heard Livvie talk about it. So one of them actually tried to convince me that I didn\rquote t want to die a virgin. I slapped him.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Good for you!\rdblquote I said. \ldblquote I would\rquote ve taken a baseball bat to his knees.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I know,\rdblquote she grinned.
\ldblquote Have you ever thought about it?\rdblquote Kelly asked her.
\ldblquote Beth\rquote s very Catholic,\rdblquote I told Kelly.
\ldblquote I am,\rdblquote Beth agreed. \ldblquote Now, I\rquote d be lying if I never said I\rquote d thought about it. But it\rquote s just not for me. I\rquote ve lived my entire life as a Catholic, and I\rquote ve followed the teachings as well as I can. Having premarital sex in a moment of weakness? I can\rquote t do it.\rdblquote
\ldblquote You don\rquote t think that whole anti-sex Catholic thing might be overblown?\rdblquote Kelly asked her.
\ldblquote Maybe. Eddie and I have talked about this. But, you know what? It\rquote s not worth it, honestly. Maybe if I were older and still a virgin, I might think twice about it. But at my age? It\rquote s not worth it. It\rquote s not important enough to me to take that chance. Besides which, I\rquote d just be having sex to have sex, and that \b really\b0 goes counter to my beliefs. I mean, it\rquote s not like I have a boyfriend,\rdblquote she said with a chuckle. \ldblquote So, what do I do, find some random guy? Who would I do it with?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Eddie,\rdblquote Kelly said quietly, making both Beth and I stop right in our tracks.
\ldblquote Did you just say what I think you said?\rdblquote I sputtered.
\ldblquote I mean, who else, right? I know how close you two are,\rdblquote Kelly said. \ldblquote I wouldn\rquote t mind, not with Beth.\rdblquote
I absolutely couldn\rquote t speak.
\ldblquote Think about that for a minute,\rdblquote Beth said. \ldblquote Eddie\rquote s your boyfriend, you know him well enough. Wouldn\rquote t you say he\rquote s a pretty senstive guy?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Yes,\rdblquote Kelly said with a grin at me.
\ldblquote Right. And you think I\rquote d ever ask him to sleep with me--knowing there\rquote s a good chance I could die shortly thereafter? Never. Even without my religious beliefs--even if I decided to throw caution to the wind--Eddie\rquote s the absolute last person I\rquote d ever ask. It would devastate him.\rdblquote
\ldblquote She\rquote s right,\rdblquote I agreed. \ldblquote And I\rquote d do it if she asked, but it would kill me.\rdblquote
\ldblquote God, you\rquote re right. I never thought of it that way,\rdblquote Kelly agreed.
\ldblquote So,\rdblquote Beth grinned, \ldblquote I\rquote ll just have to live vicariously through you. So, tell me what it\rquote s like,\rdblquote she said to Kelly.
\ldblquote I wouldn\rquote t know,\rdblquote Kelly said with a soft smile.
\ldblquote You mean, you two aren\rquote t...\rdblquote
\ldblquote Not yet,\rdblquote Kelly said. \ldblquote I\rquote m not ready.\rdblquote
\ldblquote And if she\rquote s not ready then we\rquote re not ready,\rdblquote I added.
\ldblquote So, you haven\rquote t...but you just offered to let me?\rdblquote Beth said.
Kelly shrugged. \ldblquote That\rquote s different.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Still. That was very generous,\rdblquote Beth said.
\ldblquote Nah.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Yes it was,\rdblquote Beth smiled. \ldblquote And I really did appreciate the thought. Anyhow,\rdblquote she said, changing the subject, \ldblquote speaking of romantic entanglements...what \b is\b0 up with Stan and Michelle?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Oh, God,\rdblquote I burst out laughing. \ldblquote As The Junior High Turns. Those two just give me a headache.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I know a little, but I don\rquote t really know what\rquote s going on,\rdblquote Kelly admitted.
\ldblquote I just see them giving each other little glances, and I know they went to the dance,\rdblquote Beth added.
\ldblquote Oh, it\rquote s incredible,\rdblquote I told them. \ldblquote They are absolutely nuts about one another. They should be going out. But Stan won\rquote t ask.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Why on earth not?\rdblquote Beth asked.
\ldblquote Because he doesn\rquote t think he\rquote s good enough for Michelle.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Oh, that is so bogus,\rdblquote Beth spat. \ldblquote Stan Murvetsin is a nice guy. He\rquote s kind and considerate. He\rquote s funny. I know Michelle enjoys spending time with him. So why would he think that way?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Brains.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Excuse me?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Brains. Michelle has them, and Stan thinks he doesn\rquote t,\rdblquote I said.
\ldblquote Oh, geez,\rdblquote Beth snorted. \ldblquote I didn\rquote t think she intimidated him, he never acts like she does.\rdblquote
\ldblquote He\rquote s confident enough to be friends with her. But, let me tell you something--Michelle Pepper intimidates every single guy in school. With the possible exception of me.\rdblquote
Kelly laughed, \ldblquote Why doesn\rquote t she intimidate you?\rdblquote
\ldblquote One, I never thought of her romantically. Two, there are very few people in school that can match her for brains, but I\rquote m one of them. And three, when I first met her I was way too busy being intimidated by Kara.\rdblquote Beth and Kelly cracked up at that. \ldblquote Well, it\rquote s true. Honestly, after getting through to Kara, I don\rquote t think any girl could intimidate me anymore. That was the biggie.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I\rquote m very glad, I wouldn\rquote t want to,\rdblquote Kelly giggled.
By that time, we had reached Beth\rquote s house. We followed her in through the back door, the door commonly used in that house, which led into the kitchen. \ldblquote Mom?\rdblquote she called. \ldblquote I have company.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Eddie again?\rdblquote Beth\rquote s mom, Lydia, laughed, emerging into the kitchen from the pantry.
\ldblquote Hi, Lydia,\rdblquote I said. \ldblquote Not just me, though. This is my girlfriend Kelly. She missed the bus, too. And, no, before you ask, we \b weren\rquote t\b0 together.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I\rquote m still not sure whether or not to believe that,\rdblquote Beth teased.
I stuck my tongue out at her. Lydia greeted Kelly warmly, and welcomed her in. We sat around the kitchen table, chatting and drinking sodas. Kelly asked to use the phone, and left a message with Patrick, who was home. My mom would be home by four, so there was no need to yank Mrs. Cullinane out to pick us up. I called Mom at work--she\rquote d swing by and get us when she got off work at the hospital.
I always enjoyed this house. I was friends with Beth\rquote s brothers, who were only a couple years younger--except the youngest, who was seven years younger--and I loved Lydia. She was a wonderful person, warm and welcoming, just all-around sweet. I\rquote d known her all my life. She and her husband, Beth\rquote s dad Bob, were my sister\rquote s godparents. They\rquote d always just been a part of our family. I hadn\rquote t seen her in years in the first life--the ties between our families seemed to melt away after Beth died. I don\rquote t think Lydia and Bob were ever the same after that. I mean, would you be?
I sat there, watching her be her usual wonderful warm self. She accepted Kelly into the house, no questions asked, and sat there and talked to us for an hour. Her strength was just astounding. This woman was going through just about the worst thing a parent can go through--the impending death of her oldest child and only daughter. I might be a guy, but I know the mother-daughter relationship is special, and Lydia and Beth were closer than most, even before Beth\rquote s illness. Lydia must have been completely torn apart. She was going to miss out on so much, so many things a mother and daughter should be able to share. They weren\rquote t going to happen, and Lydia knew it. She knew it was coming. And there she was, casually talking to my girlfriend.
This is what I mean about some of the strange stuff that went through my brain. I reacted mostly like a 14-year-old. But there were things a 14-year-old just doesn\rquote t get, doesn\rquote t see, doesn\rquote t comprehend. The first time around, I was absolutely oblivious. Lydia was Lydia--Beth\rquote s mom, my mom\rquote s friend. Just another adult--one I liked more than most, but, still, just another adult.
Not this time.
My mom came after a while, and she was perfectly happy to drop Kelly off. We started heading out. But, while leaving, I let Kelly and Mom get a little ahead of me, and turned to Lydia, and gave her a big hug. \ldblquote Thanks. You\rquote re amazing, you know that?\rdblquote I told her.
She looked at me in shock, no doubt wondering where that came from. I didn\rquote t care. At least she knew. Even if it all fell apart again after Beth died, at least she knew.
\b APRIL 18th, 1979\b0
Kelly and I were progressing nicely. We spent as much time together as we could, and we just got along perfectly.
The only thing that hadn\rquote t progressed was the physical side of our relationship. A lot of that was due to circumstance. We didn\rquote t really have a place to be alone much of the time, and it had been too cold and rainy to spend any time on Braddox Hill. This day, a Wednesday in the middle of April vacation, was different. It was beautiful. When I went over to Kelly\rquote s that morning, she said, \ldblquote Let\rquote s take a walk.\rdblquote
We started walking, and it was plain we were headed for Braddox Hill. Kelly didn\rquote t say anything, but we were obviously headed there. She obviously had something in mind, because when we got to the top of the hill, she flat-out attacked me!
We were kissing, sprawled out on the grass. She broke the kiss after a few minutes and said, \ldblquote I\rquote ve been waiting for good weather so I could get you up here again for a month.\rdblquote
I laughed. \ldblquote I would be lying if I said it hadn\rquote t crossed my mind, too.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Good!\rdblquote
We went back to kissing, and I brought my hand up to her boob again. This time she wasn\rquote t wearing a jacket, so I just went right up her shirt. \ldblquote This time it hooks in the back,\rdblquote she said into my ear. I managed.
We kissed, and I felt her up for a while. Then I surprised her. I broke the kiss, and pulled her shirt up so that it was underneath her neck. I pushed her bra out of the way, and went right for her nipple with my mouth.
She gasped in surprise at first. But then, as I took her nipple into my mouth, she \b giggled\b0 , of all things. I wondered if I had hit a ticklish spot or something, until she sighed, \ldblquote Oh that feels so good.\rdblquote She was still kind of giggling and sighing, almost all at once.
I did that for a bit, reveling in the feel of her nipple under my tongue--and in the little giggles and squeaks she kept letting out. Then I moved back up to kiss her, and replaced my mouth on her boob with my hand. She pulled away from the kiss and said to me, eyes shining, \ldblquote Oh, Eddie, I\rquote m so turned on!\rdblquote
\ldblquote I could take care of that,\rdblquote I said.
She hesitated for a minute. \ldblquote I\rquote m not ready to go all the way.\rdblquote
\ldblquote That\rquote s fine. We don\rquote t have to,\rdblquote I told her. \ldblquote There are other ways,\rdblquote I leered, making her giggle. I went for the snap on her jeans. She was still hesitant, but she assisted me in getting her jeans and panties pulled down and then off.
I took a minute to admire her. The soft, sparse hair around her pussy was very blonde, lighter than the hair on her head, which was a dirty reddish-blonde. And she was very definitely aroused. \ldblquote What?\rdblquote she said, as I looked at her.
\ldblquote Just admiring the view,\rdblquote I said.
She giggled, then sighed. \ldblquote You\rquote re the first person...you know, that\rquote s ever seen...you know.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I know,\rdblquote I told her. I lay back down beside her, and started kissing her again. Once she got into the kiss, I put my hand between her legs and lightly stroked her pussy. She jumped a little, and moaned into my mouth.
I did this for a few minutes, working her up, then I made my move. I broke the kiss, and quickly dove down so that my face was between her legs. She let out a startled gasp when I dragged my tongue up the length of her pussy.
It didn\rquote t take long until she just went \b nuts\b0 .
I mean, I\rquote d never seen anything like this, in either life. Kara loved it when I did this to her, but Kelly just went completely over the edge. She wasn\rquote t as loud as Kara--which was a good thing in the outdoors! She didn\rquote t scream. However, she wheezed and yelped. When I took a minute to look up at her, what a sight. Her eyes were \b wide\b0 open, her mouth in an O, and her hands were gripping at the grass underneath her. And when she came, which only took a few minutes?
My \b God\b0 . She almost bucked me right off Braddox Hill! This was unbelievable. I think she made my upper lip bleed with all that bucking and quaking!
When I eased off, I looked at her in the aftermath. Her eyes were still wide open. She was wheezing and gasping for air. Her whole body was quivering. Hot damn!
I just sat there and grinned at her, waiting for her to come down. Finally, her breathing approached something close to normal, and she stopped shaking. Her eyes refocused, and she looked up to see me sitting there, smiling.
She didn\rquote t say a single word. The next thing I knew, I was flat on my back on the ground, having my mouth devoured, while she clawed at the snap on my pants. She quickly got my pants undone and started tugging on them, trying to get them off. I raised my ass to help her. We were still kissing. She quickly had my dick in her hand.
Then she did the same thing I had done--broke the kiss, scooted down, and sucked my dick into her mouth. Still without saying a word!
I guess I shouldn\rquote t have been surprised. This was all part and parcel of her upbeat nature, I think. Kelly had a zest for life. It made sense that she had a zest for \b this\b0 , too.
Still, I was surprised at her complete lack of inhibition. I know she\rquote d never done anything like this before, and she was sucking away on my dick like a pro. It was absolutely amazing. She wasn\rquote t rough, at all, just furiously intense.
It didn\rquote t take me very long, as turned on as I had been watching her. I managed to warn her, but she didn\rquote t care. She just kept sucking. I exploded into her mouth.
As I was still trying to come down from the orgasm of my life, Kelly crawled up next to me and started kissing me all over my neck and face and ears. She still hadn\rquote t said a word.
I spoke first. \ldblquote You trying to get me going again?\rdblquote I teased.
She stopped kissing me and giggled. \ldblquote Well, it\rquote d only be fair, because I think I already am.\rdblquote I reached down between her legs--yup, she was definitely going again.
\ldblquote Oooh, somebody wants more, does she?\rdblquote I said.
\ldblquote Only if you promise me I\rquote ll \b survive\b0 another!\rdblquote
\ldblquote I refuse to make rash promises I may not be able to keep,\rdblquote I intoned. She laughed again at that. God, I was getting completely addicted to her little laughs and giggles. Feeling reasonably sure about her surviving another orgasm, I crawled back between her legs and dove back in.
She must have gotten a little more used to the sensations, because she was more vocal this time. Not screaming or anything, but the yelps and wheezes were more definite, and she was moaning \ldblquote Ed! Ed! Oh Ed!\rdblquote as I sucked on her clit. If anything, the bucking when she came was even more intense than the first time.
My goodness--it looked like I\rquote d unleashed Kelly\rquote s inner animal!
When I crawled up next to her this time, her eyes were closed. They finally fluttered open, and she looked up at me. \ldblquote God. I wanted to return the favor again, but I don\rquote t think I can move!\rdblquote
\ldblquote That\rquote s OK. I\rquote m fine.\rdblquote
\ldblquote My legs are like jello,\rdblquote she sighed.
\ldblquote I believe it,\rdblquote I laughed.
She sat up, still a little shaky. \ldblquote I\rquote m still not ready to go further than this.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I know you\rquote re not, Kelly. This is fine. This was great, wasn\rquote t it? I had fun.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I had a whole lot of fun!\rdblquote she burst out. \ldblquote But, wow, this was one of the reasons I was kind of scared of this.\rdblquote
\ldblquote What?\rdblquote
She grinned. \ldblquote I could very easily get very addicted to that!\rdblquote
\ldblquote Anytime you want,\rdblquote I told her.
\ldblquote Don\rquote t tempt me, I might make your tongue fall off,\rdblquote she laughed.
I started laughing back, but then stopped. \ldblquote Did you hear that?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Hear what?\rdblquote
\ldblquote I heard a tree branch crack.\rdblquote Then I listened again. \ldblquote Shit, I think someone\rquote s coming up here!\rdblquote
\ldblquote SHIT!\rdblquote she hissed, and reached for her pants. I did the same to mine, and we threw our clothes back together, grinning like idiots the whole time. Once we got ourselves reasonably put together, we started walking. Sure enough, a little ways down we saw a middle-aged man and a dog, climbing the hill.
\ldblquote Good afternoon,\rdblquote he said. \ldblquote Great view up there, isn\rquote t it?\rdblquote
\ldblquote It sure is,\rdblquote I said, somehow holding back the laughter. When we got down to the bottom of the hill, neither Kelly or I could hold it back--we both cracked up, trying not to do so \b too\b0 loudly!
\ldblquote Man, that was a close call!\rdblquote she said as we walked across the baseball fields.
\ldblquote It sure was. We were pretty obscured behind those trees, though.\rdblquote
\ldblquote To a point, but I was making some noise,\rdblquote she laughed. \ldblquote Heck, I\rquote m still tingling!\rdblquote
\ldblquote Good, then I did it right,\rdblquote I joked, making her crack up again.
\ldblquote You sure did. Thank you. It was wonderful.\rdblquote
\ldblquote For me, too,\rdblquote I told her.
We didn\rquote t stop smiling the whole way home, and we spent a lot of it laughing. That\rquote s what it was like with her--smiling and laughing. We really made each other very happy. It was wonderful.