REWIND
CHAPTER FIVE
\ldblquote THAT THUNDER IN YOUR HEART AT NIGHT, WHEN YOU\rquote RE KNEELING IN THE DARK, THAT SAYS YOU\rquote RE NEVER GONNA LEAVE HER\rdblquote
\pard\keepn\s1 MAY 18, 1978
\pard\b0\fs28
\fs24 I don\rquote t talk out of school. Even the first time around, I would\rquote ve known that--if I had had anything to talk about then. I wasn\rquote t stupid. I saw the bragging--and what that did to the girls being bragged about. What Kara and I did was only our own business.
However, I had to admit, I wonder if anyone had figured it out. Kara and I couldn\rquote t keep our hands off of one another--even in school. We\rquote d walk from the bus to the entrance--and it would start as holding hands and would end with our arms wrapped around one another. And, at least to me, it showed on her face. It had only been a few days, of course, but she was glowing--at least to my eyes. I wondered if anyone else noticed.
I did know that she had told one person. \ldblquote I had to tell \b somebody\b0 , or I was going to burst!\rdblquote she told me on the phone Monday night. I wasn\rquote t going to tell, but I was the guy. I figured who \b she\b0 told was her business. And I especially didn\rquote t mind, because the person she had told was Kelly.
And Kelly, when she saw me on that staircase Tuesday morning, giggled and said, \ldblquote Nice going, stud--you made Kara very, very happy.\rdblquote
\ldblquote That makes two of us,\rdblquote I grinned.
\ldblquote So, tell me--if I had told you six months ago that you were going to lose your virginity to Kara Pocharsky, what would you have done?\rdblquote she asked.
\ldblquote Had you locked up, because you clearly would\rquote ve been insane.\rdblquote She giggled at that one.
So, Kelly knew, but that was Kara\rquote s doing, and I didn\rquote t mind. I wasn\rquote t going to tell anyone.
Well, actually, I was. Just one. There\rquote s an exception to every rule, right? And I knew about what Kara had said--wanting to tell someone or you\rquote d burst. Besides which, there\rquote s some people that you can just trust.
On this date, the 18\super th\nosupersub , I missed the bus. On purpose. But I didn\rquote t tell Beth that, I just found her and sheepishly admitted that I had missed the bus again. She laughed, and we started walking to her house.
I was waiting until we got to the railroad tracks. And when we got there, Beth gave me the perfect opening.
\ldblquote Hey, Eddie, tell me--what has gotten \b into\b0 you? You\rquote re in a \b mood\b0 today--all week, in fact. It\rquote s like you\rquote re floating on a cloud. What\rquote s up?\rdblquote
\ldblquote OK, I\rquote ll tell you. I haven\rquote t told a \b soul\b0 this, and the only person I ever planned on telling was you.\rdblquote She nodded. Then I told her. \ldblquote Saturday afternoon, I lost my virginity. Kara and I had sex for the first time.\rdblquote
Poor Beth. She was carrying a few books in her hand. She \b dropped\b0 them! She just stood there, looking at me like I was an alien being or something, while \b I\b0 scrambled around trying to grab the papers that had fallen out of her books before they blew away down the railroad tracks!
I finally got them all gathered up, and handed them to her. She was still staring at me. \ldblquote You OK, Beffy?\rdblquote I asked.
\ldblquote You......you.......had SEX?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Yeah.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Eddie. You\rquote re thirteen years old!\rdblquote
\ldblquote So, I started young.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Eddie! I mean, GOD! What if she gets pregnant or something?\rdblquote
\ldblquote We took care of that, Beth. Do you think I\rquote m stupid?\rdblquote
\ldblquote No. You\rquote re not. I should\rquote ve realized you\rquote d think of that. Or Kara would.\rdblquote
\ldblquote It was me,\rdblquote I grinned. \ldblquote She was ready to go all the way a week before. I\rquote m the one that reminded her that I didn\rquote t have anything.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Oh,\rdblquote she said, thinking about that. \ldblquote So you almost did it a week ago, but stopped, and then did it this past Saturday?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Yeah.\rdblquote
\ldblquote So, this wasn\rquote t a spur of the moment thing.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Not at all.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Hmmm,\rdblquote she said, \ldblquote well that makes me feel a little better. But, still! I don\rquote t even think I could \b conceive\b0 of having sex this young!\rdblquote
\ldblquote Well, there\rquote s two big differences between you and me.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Yeah, I\rquote m not a \b boy\b0 ,\rdblquote she teased.
\ldblquote That means nothing. I didn\rquote t start this, you know--Kara did. So boy and girl means nothing. No, the two differences I was thinking of were this. First, you take that whole Catholic thing much more seriously than I do. You don\rquote t believe in premarital sex.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Yeah.\rdblquote
\ldblquote And, secondly, you\rquote re not in love.\rdblquote
\ldblquote True enough. Though even if I were in love, I think the Catholic thing would still take precedence.\rdblquote Her voice dropped a bit. \ldblquote Especially considering my current situation.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Ah,\rdblquote I said, \ldblquote you believe that if you had sex without marriage, you wouldn\rquote t go to heaven. And at this point you\rquote re pretty much counting on heaven.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Exactly. You don\rquote t agree with me.\rdblquote
\ldblquote No, I don\rquote t, but I don\rquote t have to live with your beliefs, you do.\rdblquote
\ldblquote You think that, even though you\rquote ve had sex out of wedlock, you\rquote d still go to heaven if you died tomorrow?\rdblquote
I grinned at her. \ldblquote First you\rquote d have to get me to believe in heaven.\rdblquote
She gasped. \ldblquote You \b don\rquote t\b0 ?\rdblquote
\ldblquote No.\rdblquote
\ldblquote What do you think happens to us when we die?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Nothingness.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Jeez, Eddie!\rdblquote
\ldblquote Don\rquote t get me wrong; I hope you\rquote re right and I\rquote m wrong. Believe me, I \b dearly\b0 hope that. How can I not? But I just can\rquote t buy it.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Do you believe in God?\rdblquote
\ldblquote That\rquote s a good one. I don\rquote t know.\rdblquote Actually, if I had been asked this before I \lquote came back\rquote , the answer was a definite \ldblquote no\rdblquote . I was a confirmed atheist in my previous adult life. Now, I wasn\rquote t so sure. I mean, \b something\b0 sent me back 30 years. I have no idea what it was, but scientific explanations didn\rquote t make much sense.
\ldblquote Well, if there might be a God, then there might be a heaven, right?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Possibly.\rdblquote Of course, if there were a heaven, why wasn\rquote t I there? Or hell, even? Why had I been sent back? Of course, I couldn\rquote t say this to Beth. \ldblquote I\rquote ll say this, though--I don\rquote t believe in much of the Bible, especially the Old Testament. And, if there is a God, I don\rquote t think he\rquote s worried about sex. This all comes from centuries of religious pooh-bahs trying to control people--especially women. If there\rquote s a God, I really don\rquote t think he cares who we screw, or when.\rdblquote
\ldblquote You really think that?\rdblquote
\ldblquote I really do. Those wait-until-marriage rules made sense 100 years ago, and earlier--when people entered puberty at 14 and got married at 16. Nowadays, we enter puberty at 11
and get married after college.\rdblquote
She giggled. \ldblquote I never thought of it that way.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Plus, if God didn\rquote t want us to have sex, he wouldn\rquote t have made it so damn fun.\rdblquote
She laughed again. \ldblquote So, was it?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Was it what?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Fun?\rdblquote
\ldblquote It was a whole hell of a lot of fun,\rdblquote I grinned.
\ldblquote Yeah, I\rquote ll bet. Like I said, you\rquote re a guy.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I think it\rquote s safe to say that Kara enjoyed herself.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I think I might just ask her,\rdblquote Beth grinned.
\ldblquote Go ahead. I do \b not\b0 plan to talk about this, that\rquote s not right. But she won\rquote t mind that I told you.\rdblquote
\ldblquote She really enjoyed it?\rdblquote
\ldblquote She told me she did. It seemed like she did.\rdblquote
She looked at me. \ldblquote You have changed a lot in the past few months, you know. I always used to worry about you.\rdblquote
\ldblquote With good reason,\rdblquote I said. \ldblquote But I\rquote m a lot better. Honestly, I can\rquote t believe I\rquote ve actually had sex already--and with Kara Pocharsky, of all people. But life\rquote s a lot better than it was, or than I thought it would be--and not just because of that, either.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Good, I really am glad,\rdblquote she said.
\b MAY 20th, 1978\b0
Saturday. Date day. Though we didn\rquote t go on an actual date.
It was funny--one of my unfulfilled fantasies in my \lquote former life\rquote was to make love outdoors. Though I\rquote d always though of a beach at night, not Braddox Hill in the middle of the day. But it was still a trip.
Kara\rquote s house being available for our first time was a fluke, and we knew it. And, I\rquote ll be honest--I wasn\rquote t all that willing to go without. And Kara was \b really\b0 unwilling to go without. So, she met me at her door with another picnic lunch.
\ldblquote Oh, a picnic,\rdblquote her mother said. \ldblquote That\rquote s so sweet and romantic.\rdblquote Somehow, we made it out her door and around the corner before we started laughing.
\ldblquote Yep, sweet and romantic,\rdblquote she said, still laughing. \ldblquote We\rquote ve got all the ingredients for a sweet romantic picnic. Sandwiches, sodas, a big blanket--and rubbers!\rdblquote She shot a sideways glance at me. \ldblquote You \b did\b0 remember the rubbers?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Of course,\rdblquote I said. \ldblquote I think I\rquote ll keep one in my wallet at all times, just in case you get frisky.\rdblquote
She cracked up. \ldblquote How sweet and romantic. If only my mother knew.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Don\rquote t even \b think\b0 that,\rdblquote I said.
\ldblquote Tell me about it,\rdblquote she sighed. \ldblquote I\rquote m the Perfect Daughter. She\rquote d be beside herself if she knew I\rquote d lost my virginity at 13. Honestly, that\rquote s the only thing that bugs me about this whole thing. And only a little--but it does bug me. I really do love my parents, and they\rquote d be really disappointed in me if they knew.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Well, I know you\rquote re Catholic,\rdblquote I said.
\ldblquote That\rquote s not a big huge deal, though. It\rquote s the age. If I were 18, 20, it wouldn\rquote t be an issue, even if I weren\rquote t married. My parents go to church, but they don\rquote t believe a lot of the peripheral stuff.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Ah. So it\rquote s the age. That\rquote s a knee-jerk reaction, though. It\rquote s just a number. You\rquote re far more mature than most 20-year-olds. I\rquote m not as mature as you are, but I was the one that stopped it when we didn\rquote t have anything--so at least I\rquote m responsible.\rdblquote And, no, I didn\rquote t consider myself mature, even considering my \lquote real\rquote age. I was immature at 42, and I\rquote d regressed with the time trip. It was, however, better than the first time around. I\rquote d been \b very\b0 immature then.
\ldblquote You\rquote re pretty mature,\rdblquote she argued. \ldblquote Especially in some ways. The way you treat girls is extremely mature.\rdblquote
I chuckled at that. \ldblquote Have you forgotten the two years that I followed you around like a lovesick idiot?\rdblquote
\ldblquote No,\rdblquote she laughed, \ldblquote but that\rquote s not what I\rquote m talking about. Kelly and I had a discussion about this. Most guys our age think with their you-know-what. And that makes them treat girls as a, I don\rquote t know, receptacle or something. Plus, lots of guys our age are way too into that macho crap. Like that\rquote ll impress girls. You know, the caveman act.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Problem is, that \b does\b0 impress a lot of girls,\rdblquote I said. \ldblquote You\rquote re a rare bird.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I think you\rquote d be surprised,\rdblquote she said. \ldblquote I have a prediction to make. When I leave for school in September, you\rquote re going to have your pick of girls to go out with.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Excuse me?\rdblquote
\ldblquote It\rquote s been mentioned to me, Ed. Girls see how you treat me. And they see how a lot of other guys treat them. And they\rquote ve noticed the difference.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Whatever you say,\rdblquote I laughed.
\ldblquote Mark my words.\rdblquote
I just grinned at her. By this time, we\rquote d reached the top of the hill. We spread out the blanket and dug into the food, chatting while we ate. When we were done eating, I tackled Kara onto the blanket.
\ldblquote Animal! Beast! Taking advantage of me like that!\rdblquote Kara laughed.
\ldblquote And you love every minute of it,\rdblquote I said.
\ldblquote Too true,\rdblquote she said. Then she couldn\rquote t say anything else, because she was getting kissed.
We made out for a while. In the middle, I snaked my hand up her shirt. Expecting to encounter a bra, I was surprised when my fingers hit bare skin. She broke the kiss, smiled and me, and said, \ldblquote Easier access. That\rquote s why I wore a skirt, too.\rdblquote Then she went back to kissing me. Believe me, I wasn\rquote t complaining!
We kept kissing, my hand fondling her boob. Then I broke off the kiss, and scrambled down between her legs. She let out a little squeal as I pulled at her panties. Discarding them, I crawled up between her legs, pushing her skirt up around her waist. She was right--nice and easy access. Plus, if we heard voices coming up the hill, it\rquote d be easier to \lquote fix ourselves.\rquote
I dove in and started licking at her labia, spreading her juices around, feeling her labia swell as her arousal built. I dipped my tongue into her opening, and she let out a muffled squeal.
\ldblquote Damn, I don\rquote t want to yell,\rdblquote she gasped. I knew what she meant--Braddox Hill wasn\rquote t that isolated. \ldblquote I should\rquote ve saved some food--you know, put something in my mouth to keep me quiet,\rdblquote she giggled. I ran my tongue up and down her pussy again, and she let out another half-gasp half-squeal. That\rquote s when I got a devious idea.
\ldblquote Kara. You want to play?\rdblquote
\ldblquote I thought that\rquote s what we were doing,\rdblquote she giggled.
\ldblquote Something new. Do you know what a 69 is?\rdblquote
\ldblquote No,\rdblquote she said.
I scrambled out from between her legs and lie on my back next to her. \ldblquote OK, now straddle me. Legs around my head, facing down.\rdblquote She giggled and did just that. \ldblquote OK,\rdblquote I said from under her skirt, \ldblquote Now, lean down over me. I\rquote m the six, and you\rquote re the nine--get it?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Oh, \b yeah\b0 , I get it!\rdblquote she said. She certainly did--she was undoing my fly right away. Before I could even get back to work on her pussy, she had my dick out and her mouth around it. I went back to her pussy, starting with the long licks again, and she moaned around my dick.
I\rquote d done 69 before, in the old life, and it was always fun--but, sometimes it was hard to concentrate. Especially for the girl. If you wanted a flat-out blowjob, 69 really wasn\rquote t the way to do it. However, with Kara, my lapping away at her pussy seemed to spur her on. She absolutely devoured me. And, when I got to the point where I was nudging her clit with my tongue, she just flat-out Hoovered me.
It was incredible. I managed to keep my own concentration, working away at her pussy, but she was sucking the daylights out of me. I figured that this wasn\rquote t going to take long, and I was right. Knowing she wasn\rquote t thrilled with the taste the first time she had done this, I managed to hiss \ldblquote Cumming!\rdblquote at her right before I did. She ignored me, and kept sucking on my dick, working her mouth up and down on it.
I grunted and exploded into her mouth. She swallowed without a problem, except for a few dribbles. Then she sat up a bit, settling her pussy deeper onto my mouth, and sighed. I\rquote d managed to keep her on the edge the whole time she was blowing me--so now I zeroed in on her clit so I could push her over.
If anyone had happened up the hill just then, they would\rquote ve run into quite a sight. You couldn\rquote t see my head at all--we\rquote d never taken Kara\rquote s skirt off, so it had settled back down around her thighs, obscuring my head. It almost looked like she was sitting on a stool. Except that stool had a body. And that body\rquote s dick was still hanging out of its fly. Oh, and, most girls don\rquote t writhe quite that much if they\rquote re sitting on a stool!
Suddenly, she reared up, jammed her pussy into my face, and came. Luckily, she managed not to howl. But she was panting, and her whole body was shaking, as I nibbled on her clit. Afterwards, she collapsed forward on top of me, which gave me enough clearance to take a couple of much-needed deep breaths!
She climbed off of me and settled her head on my chest. \ldblquote God,\rdblquote she gasped. \ldblquote God. This just keeps getting better and better. Where\rquote d you get that 69 thing?\rdblquote
\ldblquote I told you--Penthouse Forum.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I really do need a subscription,\rdblquote she smiled. I started laughing. \ldblquote What\rquote s so funny?\rdblquote she asked.
\ldblquote You,\rdblquote I said. \ldblquote I always thought of you as some kind of Polly Pureheart. Little did I know you were an animal.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Me? How about you?\rdblquote she laughed. \ldblquote Ed Bovilas, the maladjusted nerd, makes me cum like a banshee. Never would\rquote ve bet on \b that\b0 ,\rdblquote she teased with a smirk. \ldblquote Seriously--it was Don Nixon that got me thinking about all this.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Huh?\rdblquote I said.
She smiled. \ldblquote Not that I would\rquote ve with him. I knew I wouldn\rquote t. But he kept pressing things, and I knew where he wanted to be headed, right? So it made me think about it. Look, I told you he fondled my boobs through my shirt. Well, it didn\rquote t turn me on, because he was clueless, but it came close, you know? I guess I could see where it \b would\b0 turn me on if it were somebody that had a clue. So I thought about it. And I asked myself what I\rquote d do if I found myself turned on. I decided that it depended on the guy--but I guess it made me more open to it.\rdblquote She grinned at me. \ldblquote Then you came along. God. Do you know what you did to me that first time you grabbed my boob, in the sleeping bag when we were camped out? Hell, I was half tempted to jump you right there. It was \b such\b0 a difference, I guess that made me \b really\b0 start thinking about it. And that\rquote s without getting into how good a kisser you are. So, yeah, I might have been pure and innocent and all that, but I\rquote d started thinking about it. The way you make me feel just pushed me over.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Ah. Whereas I\rquote d been thinking about it, with you specifically, since sixth grade.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Pervert.\rdblquote
\ldblquote You know it.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Good. Put that thing in me!\rdblquote she demanded, rolling over onto her back.
I found my wallet and got a rubber out, and put it on. Then I eased myself into her. \ldblquote Damn, so good,\rdblquote she hissed. I had to agree.
She wrapped her legs around my waist, giving me a perfect angle. I started moving in and out of her, slowly at first. She hooked her ankles behind my ass and almost immediately began thrusting back up at me. Where she picked that up, I have no idea--it was all instinct. I pushed all the way into her--her humping up to meet me--and held for a couple of seconds, grinding myself into her. She squealed at that.
I did that a few more times, then picked up the pace a bit. She wheezed every time I pulled out, and grunted every time I hit bottom. She still had her skirt on, but it was bunched up around her waist, and the \lquote thwack\rquote of our bodies mixed with her grunting and echoed off the trees surrounding us. That, actually, was a wee bit worrisome. If anyone was standing in their backyard in one of the houses at the bottom of the hill, there was a chance we could be heard. Ah, well--the chances you take when you\rquote re 13 and want to get laid!
Kara, luckily, wasn\rquote t \b too\b0 loud. I wasn\rquote t all that worried, just a little. Not enough to distract me, that was for sure! I kept moving in and out of her, grinding a little on the downstroke. \ldblquote Oh, God, so close,\rdblquote she hissed. I started going faster, and I could see her build up. Her eyes were closed tight, her mouth in an O, and her face flushed. Her hands came up and gripped my shoulders. I still had my shirt on, but I could feel her fingernails dig in to my shoulders.
She kept thrusting up against me, harder and harder, as I plunged into her. After a minute, she stiffened. Her fingernails dug hard into my shoulders, and her ass came right off the ground. She yelped a little, and her eyes opened wide. I felt her pussy clamp down hard on my dick.
I hadn\rquote t been all that close--worrying about the noise must\rquote ve distracted me a wee bit--but watching her cum changed all that. I kept sliding in and out of her, stringing her orgasm out a bit, and then I came into the rubber.
Afterwards, curled up together underneath the blue sky, she sighed. \ldblquote I was right. This just keeps getting better and better.\rdblquote
I could only agree.
\b MAY 31, 1978
\b0
BROOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Springsteen, that is. My first Bruce concert, over 21 years early from the first time.
As I\rquote ve said, I had this show on a bootleg in the old life, so I had heard it. Now that was strange. I was attending a show I\rquote d already heard. Wrap \b that\b0 one around your brain for a bit!
What\rquote s more, the show was a bit of an oddity. It was the Darkness tour, supporting the Darkness On The Edge Of Town album. There was only one problem--the album wasn\rquote t out yet. Y\rquote see, there was a delay. At the last minute, Bruce decided to remix the track The Promised Land, pushing the album release date back. However, the beginning of the tour was already booked, so the tour started on time--May 20th or something like that. This was one of the first dates on the tour. The album wouldn\rquote t be out for another week.
The conundrum was this--as far as Bruce was concerned, this was the Darkness tour. So he was playing songs from Darkness. Which hadn\rquote t been released yet.
When someone puts on as good a show as Bruce Springsteen does, this is not a big deal. Bruce was notorious for pulling songs out of his ass, and it didn\rquote t matter. Few performers could get away with playing a show containing seven or eight songs from an album that wasn\rquote t out yet--but Bruce could. That wasn\rquote t the problem.
The problem was--these were new songs, right? Nobody was supposed to know them. In fact, there were murmurs going around the hall: \ldblquote This must be stuff from the new album.\rdblquote Some people, of course, had seen the first two shows of the stand and were into their third hearing of some of these songs. But I wasn\rquote t.
The point is, I wasn\rquote t supposed to know any of these songs--but of course I \b did\b0 . And I had to act like I didn\rquote t know any of them. Not for Kara--she wasn\rquote t a big enough Springsteen fan yet to know the difference--but cousin Sandy sure would!
So, I didn\rquote t know these songs. I couldn\rquote t know these songs. I had to pretend I didn\rquote t know these songs. Which meant I COULDN\rquote T SING ALONG!!! Man, it sucked! Do you know how hard it is for me to not sing along at a show when I know the words? Especially at a show like Bruce, which is riotous. And he opened with \ldblquote Badlands\rdblquote , the first cut off of Darkness and one of my all-time favorites. When he got to the \ldblquote For the ones who had a notion, a notion deep inside, it ain\rquote t no sin to be glad you\rquote re alive\rdblquote verse, I think I was biting my damn tongue to keep from singing along. And \ldblquote Prove It All Night.\rdblquote I couldn\rquote t sing along to \ldblquote Prove It All Night\rdblquote ? I\rquote d spent 20 years singing along to that song, in the car with the radio blasting and the windows rolled down, bellowing away at the top of my lungs! And here he was playing it live and I couldn\rquote t sing along. Ah, me.
Luckily, that was the only downside to the whole thing. What an UNBELIEVABLE show. It was stupendous. And he played enough of the old stuff that I \b could\b0 get away with singing along to. \ldblquote Born To Run,\rdblquote for instance. Of course, I made sure I sang the \ldblquote Strap your hands cross my engines\rdblquote line \b right\b0 at Kara.
He played \ldblquote Rosalita\rdblquote and \ldblquote Thunder Road\rdblquote and \ldblquote Spirit In The Night\rdblquote and a few other things I could sing along to. Kara was amused. I can sing, and she obviously knows it--having heard it in English class--so she told me she wasn\rquote t grinning at my singing. She was grinning at how into it I was. But, as the show went on, she got into it as well--quite a lot. She started the show as a mild Bruce fan who thought it would be a cool show--and left with an expression on her face like she had just seen the second coming!
So, I got to see Bruce 21 years earlier than I did the first time around. I got to see him with Kara. I got to actually hear him play \ldblquote The Promise\rdblquote , a legendary unreleased track that he played live sometimes (it was finally released in 1998). And I got to listen to Kara babble about how cool it was when she snuggled up next to me in the back seat of Sandy\rquote s car on the ride home.
\b JUNE 9th, 1978
\b0
Things were obviously going too good.
I had to relive one of my least favorite days today. Another beating. This one was extra-special, though. The first time around, I was actually holding my own in the fight. This time around, I was \b more\b0 than holding my own. And the guy who was beating on me did the same thing--grabbed my head and slammed it into a brick wall.
As an adult in the old life, people thought I was exaggerating some of this shit. I\rquote d gotten rid of most of it this time--but obviously not all of it.
It started with a kid named Danny Sullivan, another kid I\rquote d known since first grade. He was one of the ones that liked to taunt me with that \lquote fag\rquote bullshit.
Of course, the irony is, Danny \b was\b0 gay. I found that out in adulthood, when, searching for something, I found a website of his (yes, I\rquote m sure it was him--he had a picture there from when he was a kid. I recognized him and his house). But he spent most of eighth grade calling me fag. Usually I ignored him--you know, consider the source and all that.
But this day I was just irritated, so when he started in on me as I was walking down the hall, I said, \ldblquote Hey, Danny, fuck you.\rdblquote
Danny wasn\rquote t going to approach me himself--Danny was a runt, one of the few kids in school that, even the first time around, I would have been able to take. This time, with all the weightlifting and running I did, I would\rquote ve pulverized him.
Somehow, Danny had acquired some \lquote friends\rquote . You know, protection, muscle. I don\rquote t know how he managed that. I wonder what those brutes would\rquote ve said if they\rquote d realized that \b he\b0 was the one that was gay and was probably checking them out behind their back. Anyhow, after I told Danny to fuck off, one of the bozos grabbed me.
Even though I got sucker-punched, I was still holding my own. In fact, I was winning. All that exercising really was paying off. But the bozo pre-empted it by slamming my head against the wall.
I\rquote ll admit it--I\rquote m a crier. I cry at sappy movies, for goodness\rquote sake, even in adulthood in the old life. When this incident happened the first time, I bawled like a baby. This time, I willfully commanded myself not to cry. I just stood there, holding my head. \ldblquote Jesus fucking Christ, I\rquote m bleeding, you asshole!\rdblquote I spat at the bully. He was looking smug, until he heard the mutterings from the crowd. \ldblquote Cheap shot,\rdblquote and \ldblquote What an asshole,\rdblquote were some of the things I heard. Jesus Christ, I had \b allies\b0 ? How the hell did \b that\b0 happen?
Stan had happened about in the middle of all this, and now he pushed himself through the crowd. \ldblquote You need to get to the nurse, pal,\rdblquote he told me.
\ldblquote No argument there.\rdblquote
We went to the nurse. I got stitches; seven of them. I was checked for a concussion which I luckily didn\rquote t have. Of course, afterwards, I had to go down to Mr. Legerre\rquote s office again. Fun, fun, fun. He blustered and sputtered, and I ignored him.
When this happened before, I just went home and nursed my wounds--happy in the fact that I only had two weeks left in this hellhole before I got out and went to the Prep. Well, I\rquote d blown that decision this time around. I thought I had ended this crap. Maybe I \b should\b0 have gone to the Prep. But, this time I wasn\rquote t just going to go home and lick my wounds, either.
As I was reminded when, waiting for the bus, here came Kara. \ldblquote God, what happened?\rdblquote she said--she\rquote d obviously heard.
I told her. \ldblquote Oh, baby, are you OK?\rdblquote she asked in real sympathy. I assured her that I was fine. I got on the bus, and Kara (and Kelly too) made all kinds of cooing sympathetic noises and bucked me up. Even Danica said, \ldblquote What an asshole. You should pop Danny Sullivan one, make him call his goons off.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Don\rquote t worry, I\rquote m going to do something. I don\rquote t know what, yet, but this shit has to stop,\rdblquote I said. All three girls nodded in agreement. \ldblquote But, for now, I\rquote m putting it out of my mind. I don\rquote t want to spoil somebody\rquote s birthday,\rdblquote I said--and leaned over and kissed Kara on the cheek. She grinned happily. Yup, it was her birthday; she was 14 today.
\ldblquote So, how\rquote s it feel to be dating an older woman?\rdblquote Kelly asked me, grinning.
\ldblquote Wonderful,\rdblquote I said with this sickeningly dreamy look on my face, making them all laugh. \ldblquote She\rquote s taught me \b so\b0 much.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Are you sure you don\rquote t have a concussion?\rdblquote Kara laughed.
I got off the bus at Kara\rquote s stop. Other people got off at that stop, too: the Cullinane twins, Sara, Steve McCauley, Denise Bucher, Bob Golan. A lot of Kara\rquote s crowd. Sara had begun to accept Kara and me together, partially because she, too, had figured out what a jerk Don Nixon was. Bob and Denise were still wary, but at least they didn\rquote t give me shit. We chatted for a while, then headed to Kara\rquote s house.
Kara\rquote s parents had invited me over for dinner and birthday cake. Afterwards, there was a dance at school, the last one of the year. Mrs. Pocharsky would drive us there, and my mom was going to pick us up. We got to Kara\rquote s house, and I called my mom and told her about the head injury. I assured her I was OK.
With no homework to worry about--it was Friday--Kara and I watched TV, cuddling on the couch. There wasn\rquote t much else going on, not with her mother due home any minute and her brother and sister there! In fact, her sister--who was like 9--caught us kissing and made a big deal about going \ldblquote Yuck! Yuck!\rdblquote
Kara just grinned at her. \ldblquote Trust me, Angela, you won\rquote t be saying yuck in five years or so.\rdblquote
Her brother and sister left us alone after a while, and, well, we got a bit carried away. Not too bad--no clothing was removed--but when her mother came into the house, she was in my lap and we were kissing. I don\rquote t even think we heard the door open. We \b did\b0 hear the rather amused throat-clearing. Kara looked up and \b dove\b0 off of my lap! \ldblquote Uh, hi, Mom!\rdblquote she said, rather sheepishly.
\ldblquote Hello, Kara. Hi, Ed. Don\rquote t let \b me\b0 interrupt,\rdblquote she said with thinly veiled amusement.
\ldblquote Uh, well....\rdblquote Kara stuttered.
\ldblquote Oh, relax,\rdblquote Mrs. Pocharsky said. \ldblquote You two have been going out for four months. If you \b weren\rquote t\b0 kissing, I\rquote d be worried about you.\rdblquote Good thing she didn\rquote t know what \b else\b0 we were doing! She was walking behind me to hang up her coat, when she saw the bandage. \ldblquote Ed, what happened to your head?\rdblquote she asked. I explained.
She sat down across from us and sighed. \ldblquote Ed, how \b do\b0 you get into these messes?\rdblquote
\ldblquote That\rquote s what I\rquote d like to know,\rdblquote Kara said, exasperated. \ldblquote I just don\rquote t get it! He\rquote s the sweetest guy in school!\rdblquote
\ldblquote And that\rquote s part of the problem, right there,\rdblquote Mrs. Pocharsky said. \ldblquote Ed probably took that as a compliment. Most boys your age wouldn\rquote t. \lquote Sweet\rquote is not a word one usually uses in describing a thirteen-year-old boy. Ed\rquote s the least manliness-obsessed boy his age I\rquote ve \b ever\b0 met. It\rquote s all about proving masculinity. Ed\rquote s not like that.\rdblquote She was right. This isn\rquote t something that I figured out the first time around until much later in life, mind you, but she was right. I was very un-macho, and always had been. I \b hated\b0 those games. \ldblquote And it\rquote s going to cause you problems for some time to come,\rdblquote Mrs. Pocharsky continued, looking right at me. \ldblquote But, do me a favor, Ed. Don\rquote t change. Most guys realize the macho act doesn\rquote t work, but not until much later in life. Some guys never realize it. You\rquote ve got a head start.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I know. Kara and I have talked about that, actually--and I got lucky. Because, right now, with a lot of girls, it \b does\b0 work.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Those girls haven\rquote t been with Don Nixon,\rdblquote Kara spat disgustedly. \ldblquote That woke me up.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I know it did,\rdblquote Mrs. Pocharsky said. \ldblquote And I\rquote m glad of it.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Me, too,\rdblquote I said to chuckles. \ldblquote Anyhow, don\rquote t worry, Mrs. Pocharsky--I have no intention of changing. Hey, I\rquote ve been through this for a while now, and it\rquote s better this year. I\rquote ve done enough to counter a lot of it, and I\rquote m not done with the jerk that got me today, believe me. But, really, it doesn\rquote t matter. How many of those macho-obsessed jerks are going to that dance tonight alone?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Good point,\rdblquote Kara laughed.
\line Supper was fine, and we all sang Happy Birthday and ate cake. Then we did presents. I got her a copy of The Beatles\rquote Red Album, which she had asked for. I also got her an outfit. I had secretly quizzed Mrs. Pocharsky on Kara\rquote s favorite stores to shop in, and picked out a skirt-and-sweater set that I thought was cute. Kara obviously agreed, as she squealed in delight as she opened it. \ldblquote Wow! This is so \b awesome\b0 !\rdblquote she enthused. \ldblquote I had all planned out what I was going to wear to this dance tonight, but I just changed my mind!\rdblquote She ran upstairs to change. I had to pat myself on the back, it looked adorable on her. Even her mom agreed.
When we got to the dance, and everyone commented on her outfit, she took great pleasure in telling all that I was the one that got it for her. Of course, this got me razzed. \ldblquote Oh, yeah, Bovilas, you\rquote re real good at buying \b girls\rquote\b0 clothes,\rdblquote Joe Vizcano said with a smirk.
\ldblquote It made her happy. That\rquote s all I really care about,\rdblquote I shrugged.
\ldblquote Besides which,\rdblquote Kara said, \ldblquote did you happen to notice that the adorable outfit also happens to have a \b skirt\b0 ? So the guy who bought that outfit can look at my legs all night long? I don\rquote t date a dummy!\rdblquote Everyone, even Joe, cracked up at that one.
It was fun. We had a good time. But, I have to say, I think everyone figured out that our relationship was at least somewhat physical. During the slow dances, we were plastered to one another. Nobody said anything, but we got some looks. Not that we minded!
\b JUNE 14th, 1978
\b0
Kara and I talked about it. We determined that I \b had\b0 to do something, or this was going to keep happening.
I was surprised, actually, that Kara agreed. Violence was not her thing at all. I thought she\rquote d tell me to turn the other cheek, but she didn\rquote t. \ldblquote I hate to see you go through this,\rdblquote she said. \ldblquote I think you have to make a stand, or it\rquote s going to keep happening. Besides which, I worry about next year.\rdblquote
\ldblquote How come?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Things have gotten better for you this year, and I know a lot of it is your running and weightlifting and your better attitude. But some of it, I believe, is also me. You hear what they call you--\rquote fag\rquote and all that. Well, that\rquote s kind of a stupid thing to call a guy with a girlfriend, isn\rquote t it? I think having a girlfriend shields you from some things. And, next year, when I\rquote m not here.....\rdblquote
\ldblquote Good point,\rdblquote I agreed.
So, on this day, I got off the bus in the morning and went to find the asshole that had slammed my head against the wall. Kara--and Kelly--came to root me on. And some of the guys--Stan, Patrick, Steve McCauley--even volunteered to back me up, just to make sure none of the asshole\rquote s friends got into the act.
One thing that was different about me as compared to the first time around--I wasn\rquote t as nice. I was way too nice the first time around. Not this time. Fight fire with fire. This guy was an asshole, so, I wasn\rquote t fighting this fight by Marquis of Queensbury rules. I went up to him, tapped him on the shoulder--and swung. Yeah, it was a sucker punch. I didn\rquote t give a fuck. That\rquote s what he had done to me--\b before\b0 he slammed my head against the wall. Right from the beginning, he was a cheap-shot artist. Fight fire with fire.
Anyhow, he turned and I swung, and nailed him right in the nose. And I kept swinging. One of his buddies did make a move to get involved, and Steve stepped in front of him. \ldblquote Uh, uh, uh--we\rquote ll have none of that.\rdblquote I just kept swinging.
The asshole went down in a heap, blood squirting from his nose. \ldblquote You lay a hand on me again, and you\rquote ll get worse than that,\rdblquote I told him. Then I walked over to Danny Sullivan, who was watching from a distance like the weasel he was. I grabbed him around the collar. \ldblquote You listen to me, you little shit. The next time you sic one of your goon buddies on me, I\rquote ll beat the living daylights out of you. It won\rquote t be the goon next time--it\rquote ll be \b you\b0 . You understand me?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Yes,\rdblquote he sniffled.
\ldblquote Good.\rdblquote
I walked away with Kara at my side. It felt very good. And I hoped this was the end of it.
\b JULY 2nd, 1978
\b0
This was a replay of a very interesting day. This was the day I met Annabelle.
Belle--everyone called her that--was actually my second cousin. She lived in California. She came out for a visit with her Mom, who was my mother\rquote s first cousin and her best friend growing up. They had flown in and landed on the first, which was a Saturday. This day, the second, was the day I met her. They were staying with my Grandmother. Gram had a cookout as an early fourth-of-July thing.
So, we went over, and, while Gram and my Mom were barbecuing, I was advised to \ldblquote take Belle for a walk. Take her down to the beach, show her around.\rdblquote So, I did.
Belle was gorgeous. She was a year younger than me, which made her 12, but she didn\rquote t look 12--she looked 16. She was \b built. \b0 She was also a blue-eyed blonde with a gorgeous face. She was a little chunky, but, hey--I liked chunky. It just made her more curvy. One look at her and you wanted to start singing Beach Boys songs: \ldblquote I wish they all could be California Girls....\rdblquote
The first time I lived this, the attraction was instantaneous--and mutual. We got down to the beach, chatting, and she asked me if I ever kissed a girl. I said no. She corrected that in a hurry. It was wonderful. Later that week, it even ended up as a brief make-out session one day when I rode my bike over there just to see her.
She came back the next summer, but had a boyfriend back in California so wanted nothing to do with me as anything other than friends. Ah, well. I didn\rquote t see her again until adulthood. I always remembered her very fondly, though.
This time we walked down the beach again. And we were talking, and, as had happened the first time, the attraction was instantaneous.
Of course, this time, there was a complication. So, when she asked me that question--if I\rquote d ever kissed a girl--the answer was different.
\ldblquote Yes,\rdblquote I said--with a big grin. \ldblquote Sure have. I have a girlfriend. Her name is Kara. You\rquote ll meet her, she\rquote ll be at Gram\rquote s in about an hour.\rdblquote
Belle\rquote s face fell--but, to her credit, only a bit. I\rquote m sure she wanted to act on the attraction--but, hell, it wasn\rquote t that big of a deal. She was only here for a week, and we both knew it. So, she decided to tease instead. \ldblquote So, you\rquote ve kissed her, huh? How much \b else\b0 have you done?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Uh-uh. I don\rquote t talk about that,\rdblquote I told her.
\ldblquote You \b don\rquote t\b0 ? Are you \b sure\b0 you\rquote re a guy?\rdblquote she laughed.
We dropped that subject, and just chatted about this and that, walking around the park at the beach. She really was as delightful as I had remembered. I\rquote ll admit, I had a twinge--especially knowing that Kara and I had a relationship that was coming to an end in two months. But it \b hadn\rquote t\b0 come to an end yet, and I\rquote m just too honorable.
We got back to Gram\rquote s just in time for Kara\rquote s arrival. Her mom dropped her off. And she was immediately an absolute sweetheart to Belle.
We ended up in a corner of Gram\rquote s yard, happily chatting. I forget exactly what we were talking about to lead into it, but it came up. \ldblquote I had asked him if he\rquote d ever kissed a girl, that\rquote s when he mentioned you,\rdblquote Belle said to Kara.
\ldblquote Oh, yeah. Yes, he\rquote s kissed a girl,\rdblquote she giggled. \ldblquote And a few other things.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Yeah, he wouldn\rquote t tell me what!\rdblquote Belle giggled.
Kara just smiled enigmatically. Belle looked at her in consternation, then had to laugh. \ldblquote I think I can probably connect the dots,\rdblquote Belle said.
\ldblquote Most likely,\rdblquote Kara grinned.
\b JULY 4th, 1978
\b0
On the day of the fourth, there was another cookout/pool party. This time, it was over Sara\rquote s. As I\rquote d said, Sara had started to accept me. I got a nice compliment from her when I took my shirt off to head into the pool.
She whistled. \ldblquote My God, Eddie! Kara had told me that you\rquote d started to lift weights, but jeez! You look \b fine\b0 !\rdblquote
\ldblquote Thanks, Sara,\rdblquote I laughed.
Anyhow, all of Kara\rquote s gang was there. I got to watch Kara in a nice, slinky bathing suit. It was one-piece, not a bikini or anything, but she looked fantastic in it. She walked past me at one point and I said, \ldblquote Slobber slobber drool slobber.\rdblquote That got me a big grin.
As I said, Sara\rquote s--and Kara\rquote s--gang was there, but there were a few additions. After souring on Don Nixon, Sara had started eating lunch with me and Kara\rquote s regular lunch buddies. So, Sara invited some of them. She invited Stan, and Michelle Pepper. And, much to my delight, she invited Beth.
Who almost didn\rquote t come. I had to talk her into it. Beth really could be quite shy, and her current medical situation didn\rquote t make her more outgoing. But I talked her into it--as did her best girlfriend Kerry, who was also invited. I was glad she came, and she seemed to be having a good time.
Everyone there knew about Beth\rquote s condition. Which was a good thing, because it came up.
After swimming, and after eating, all of us were gathered in a circle in a corner of the yard. The adults were elsewhere--which was a good thing, considering how the conversation went.
Somehow, the conversation turned to sex before marriage. \ldblquote I\rquote m waiting,\rdblquote Sara said. \ldblquote I don\rquote t believe in sex before marriage.\rdblquote
\ldblquote All girls say that,\rdblquote Bob Golan pointed out, \ldblquote and a lot of them change their mind.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I won\rquote t,\rdblquote Sara maintained.
\ldblquote I think it\rquote s easier to say if you don\rquote t have a boyfriend,\rdblquote Kelly pointed out. \ldblquote You know, what if you fall in love? That\rquote s harder, I think. I\rquote m not making any hard and fast rules about it.\rdblquote
\ldblquote That\rquote s a point,\rdblquote Sara conceded, \ldblquote but I\rquote m also Catholic.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I think if every Catholic who \b didn\rquote t\b0 wait was kicked out of the church, there would be a whole lot of empty pews on Sunday,\rdblquote Patrick said, to laughter. \ldblquote And, hey, what are we? 14? 13, some of us? It\rquote s easy to say at this age. Talk to me when I\rquote m 16 or 17--especially if, as Kelly said, I have a serious girlfriend.\rdblquote
That\rquote s when Beth said something. \ldblquote Try staring death in the face, and still sticking to it. Of course, like Kelly said, not having a boyfriend makes it easier. If I did, I might feel differently. But I still think it\rquote s important to wait for marriage, even though the odds are very small I\rquote ll live long enough to get married.\rdblquote Everyone was staring at her. She grinned. \ldblquote Hey, don\rquote t let me bring the conversation down. Just making a philosophical point is all.\rdblquote
\ldblquote You can be philosophical about that?\rdblquote Danica asked her.
She shrugged. \ldblquote I think you have to be. I have discussed this some with my buddy over here,\rdblquote she said, poking me in the ribs. \ldblquote Not that we \b agree\b0 on anything, but sometimes it\rquote s good to talk it out. Hey, this is what it is--I have to deal with it.\rdblquote
Everybody just kind of thought about that for a minute, then Sara changed the subject back to the original. I didn\rquote t know it, but a bombshell was coming. \ldblquote OK, I\rquote ll admit it. If I was in Beth\rquote s situation, it might be harder to wait. That\rquote s tough. But, I still plan on waiting,\rdblquote Sara said. She looked at Kara. \ldblquote Kara, we haven\rquote t heard from you yet. Do you plan on waiting until marriage?\rdblquote
Kara didn\rquote t waste any time dropping the bomb. \ldblquote It\rquote s a little late for that,\rdblquote she said with a sly grin. Oh, GOD, I thought to myself--Kara, what did you just do?
It took a minute for people to realize what she had just said--except for Beth and Kelly, who knew. Danica was the first to kind of realize it. \ldblquote\b What\b0 did you just say?\rdblquote she asked.
\ldblquote I said, it\rquote s too late for me to wait until marriage. I lost my virginity in May.\rdblquote
\ldblquote You WHAT?\rdblquote Sara blurted out.
Stan was the first to realize that, if Kara had lost her virginity, to whom she had to have lost it. \ldblquote Ed Bovilas, you sly devil you!\rdblquote he said with a huge grin.
That\rquote s when it dawned on everyone else. \ldblquote You. Had sex. With \b Ed\b0 .\rdblquote Bob Golan said in a tone of complete disbelief.
\ldblquote I sure did,\rdblquote Kara said, beaming from ear to ear. \ldblquote Lots of times. We haven\rquote t just done it the once, believe me!\rdblquote
\ldblquote You \b are\b0 kidding!\rdblquote Sara blurted.
\ldblquote Why would I kid about something like this?\rdblquote Kara said.
\ldblquote I don\rquote t believe it!\rdblquote Bob said. \ldblquote Are you the same girl that didn\rquote t want Don Nixon to even \b touch\b0 you?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Don wanted to push things. Eddie let me go at my own pace,\rdblquote Kara informed him. \ldblquote It made all the difference. Look, what you guys don\rquote t get is this shit is \b scary\b0 for girls. I told Eddie that he \b didn\rquote t\b0 scare me, and that\rquote s why I wanted him to be my first.\rdblquote
All of a sudden, Joe Vizcano burst out laughing. \ldblquote You know, I don\rquote t believe this. Who would\rquote ve guessed that Ed Bovilas would\rquote ve been the first of us guys to have sex?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Not I,\rdblquote I admitted with a laugh.
\ldblquote So, this happened in May and we\rquote re just finding out about it now?\rdblquote Danica said.
\ldblquote Well, I told Kelly,\rdblquote Kara said, \ldblquote but she\rquote s kept her mouth shut.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Hell, Ed didn\rquote t even tell \b me\b0 ,\rdblquote Stan said.
\ldblquote I only told one person,\rdblquote I said, and pointed to Beth.
\ldblquote He tells me everything,\rdblquote Beth smiled.
\ldblquote So, why are you telling everyone \b now\b0 ?\rdblquote Danica said, looking at me.
\ldblquote Hey, don\rquote t look at me!\rdblquote I said. \ldblquote I didn\rquote t start this! I wouldn\rquote t have said a word to anyone besides Beth.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Yep, I take all the blame for this one,\rdblquote Kara laughed. \ldblquote I just didn\rquote t feel like keeping it a secret any more.\rdblquote She sighed. \ldblquote It can be a pain. Of course, I can\rquote t let my parents know. And, I guess, when I was in school, I didn\rquote t want it spread around. But I\rquote m not going back to school there and you all are friends, so...\rdblquote
\ldblquote So, how was it?\rdblquote Danica asked, very softly.
\ldblquote Wonderful,\rdblquote Kara said in a very dreamy voice. \ldblquote Marvelous. Couldn\rquote t have asked for better. Ed\rquote s \b very\b0 talented.\rdblquote
\line Beth looked over at me while Kara was in the middle of that and burst out laughing. \ldblquote Nice color that is you\rquote re blushing, pal,\rdblquote she teased.
\ldblquote Yeah, well....\rdblquote I stammered.
\ldblquote Well, it\rquote s \b true\b0 ,\rdblquote Kara proclaimed. \ldblquote I picked the right guy for my first time, and that\rquote s a fact.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Him?\rdblquote Joe Vizcano said dismissively.
\ldblquote Yes, him,\rdblquote Kara replied. \ldblquote He\rquote s wonderful. Any girl would be lucky to have him.\rdblquote
\ldblquote You\rquote re pouring it on pretty thick, sweetheart,\rdblquote I said, to laughter.
\ldblquote Just telling it how it is,\rdblquote she said, smirking at me.
After that, the conversation turned to other things. We had a good time.
I walked Kara home afterwards. As we left Sara\rquote s house, she turned to me and said, \ldblquote You\rquote re welcome.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Thank you. What am I thanking you for?\rdblquote
\ldblquote For telling.\rdblquote
\ldblquote For embarrassing me?\rdblquote I laughed.
\ldblquote Aw, you were embarrassed?\rdblquote
\ldblquote A little. I didn\rquote t expect to be discussing my sex life, honestly.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Ah. Well, you should still be happy. Because what I said is going to get around when you go back to school.\rdblquote
\ldblquote This is a good thing?\rdblquote I asked her.
\ldblquote It sure is.\rdblquote She grabbed my arm and leaned into me, a big grin on her face. \ldblquote Ed, honey, I just turned you into the school stud. When I leave for Andrews, you\rquote re going to be fighting them off!\rdblquote
\ldblquote Ah,\rdblquote I said. \ldblquote I\rquote m not sure I care.\rdblquote
\ldblquote You don\rquote t now,\rdblquote she said softly, \ldblquote which is very sweet of you. But, after I leave, you will. You\rquote re not going to want to be alone.\rdblquote
\ldblquote We\rquote ll see,\rdblquote I said, though I suspected she was right. I just didn\rquote t want to think about it. We still had almost two months together. I just wanted to enjoy them--then I\rquote d worry about what came after.