REWIND
CHAPTER THREE
\ldblquote I DIDN\rquote T KNOW WHAT TO DO, SO I WHISPERED \lquote I LOVE YOU\rquote\rdblquote
\pard FEBRUARY 8\super th\nosupersub , 1978
\b0
I had called Kara on Sunday and we had had a pleasant talk for about an hour.
Monday, I saw her briefly in school. We didn\rquote t talk much, but she gave me a huge smile when I walked into English.
Then, on Monday night, it hit. Something else I\rquote d have to relive that I\rquote d forgotten about: The Blizzard of \lquote 78.
I got home from school to the beginning of flurries. I started my paper route in a light snow. When I finished my paper route--which was about an hour later--I was trudging through blinding snow. Just like the first time!
The Blizzard of \lquote 78 was a big huge thing in the Boston area. It was something that was still talked about 30 years later. It wasn\rquote t just a snowstorm--though it was that, over two feet fell--it was also accompanied by gale force winds, massive high tides with floods, beach erosion, some coastal houses lost, fatalities, the whole bit. It was, basically, a hurricane with snow instead of rain (though not technically). There were 8 and 10 foot snowdrifts due to the wind (and the fact that there was already some snow on the ground from the previous week). It shut Eastern Massachusetts down--I mean, \b completely\b0 shut it down--for a week.
Of course, when you\rquote re 13 years old, it was \b great\b0 .
Kara called \b me\b0 Monday night, in the middle of it. \ldblquote Do you \b believe\b0 this?\rdblquote she asked excitedly.
\ldblquote Oh, I was out doing my paper route when it started. It went from flurries to me getting buried before I could blink.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I believe it!\rdblquote she laughed. \ldblquote Well, at least we won\rquote t have school tomorrow.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Probably for the rest of the week,\rdblquote I told her.
Tuesday, I helped Dad dig out, and helped my brother and sister build a toboggan run in the back yard. It started at the top of the bulkhead, six feet off the ground. That\rquote s how deep the drifts were!
Now it was Wednesday, the state was still shut down, and Mom had a proposition for me. My grandmother was snowed in. It was about a two-mile walk to her house. And walk is what I\rquote d have to do--you couldn\rquote t drive, the roads were closed. Would I be willing to walk over there, dig her out, and then stay with her for a few days? Sure, I would--I had done this the first go-round.
Of course, there was a little difference this time--the route I took to get to Gram\rquote s. My street, Hereford Street, spilled out onto Border Street, a main road. Gram lived two miles down Border, on another side street in the next town. So, all I\rquote d have to do was go to the end of my street, turn left, and keep walking. I didn\rquote t do that. I went the \b other\b0 way from my house, up through some side streets that paralleled Border St., and found myself turning onto Lee Rd., right where Kara lived.
I debated this. I debated this the whole way to her street, actually--debated pulling down one of the other side streets to head to Border St. Why? Well, I didn\rquote t want to look like I was pushing it.
I guess part of me kept saying that this \b wasn\rquote t\b0 supposed to happen. I mean anything between Kara and me, it just wasn\rquote t supposed to happen. I was ecstatic, of course, but I didn\rquote t trust it. Plus, we\rquote d had one date, and a couple of phone conversations--all \b great\b0 , mind you, but not much. I wouldn\rquote t have been trusting it at this point in any case. So, I was worried about pushing.
But I headed for her house anyway. We weren\rquote t going to have school all week, it looked like, and I really did want to see her, if only for a minute.
When I rounded the corner on to the top of Lee Rd., there she was. Her whole family, actually: both of her parents, her brother and sister, and Kara. Mr. Pocharsky was shoveling, along with Kara\rquote s younger brother Dave. Kara had a shovel next to her, but seemed more intent on helping her little sister Angela build a snowman. Mrs. Pocharsky was just kind of watching over everything. In fact, she was the first one to see me as I came in front of the house. Mrs. Pocharsky said, \ldblquote Kara,\rdblquote and then pointed past Kara towards me. Kara turned, and a huge smile split her face. Wasn\rquote t \b that\b0 nice to see!
\ldblquote Hey!\rdblquote she said, walking over to me. \ldblquote Hi, Eddie! What are you doing here?\rdblquote
\ldblquote He\rquote s come to help us shovel out, right?\rdblquote Mr. Pocharsky offered.
I laughed. \ldblquote Normally, I\rquote d offer, but I have to walk two miles to my grandmother\rquote s house and shovel \b her\b0 out.\rdblquote I looked at Kara. \ldblquote And you\rquote re on the way, so I wanted to say hi.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Where does your grandmother live?\rdblquote Kara asked. I told her. Her eyes twinkled. \ldblquote On the way, huh?\rdblquote She knew the slightly varied route I\rquote d taken.
\ldblquote Well, sort of on the way,\rdblquote I said. \ldblquote I wanted to see you, since we won\rquote t have school all week.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Good!\rdblquote she laughed. \ldblquote Hold on a second.\rdblquote She went and talked to her mother, then came back to me. \ldblquote Come on,\rdblquote she said, grabbing my hand and heading down the street.
\ldblquote Huh?\rdblquote
\ldblquote You need to get to your grandmother\rquote s and shovel her out, you good grandson,\rdblquote she laughed. \ldblquote I figured I could walk with you a bit. Up to the bowling alley or something.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Great!\rdblquote I agreed.
We walked to the end of Lee Rd, just chatting about whatever. At the end of Lee Rd., across Border St., there was a school--Cardinal Steen High School (where my sister would eventually end up going, at least the first time.) It had a large yard in front, which was pretty much untouched snow. Kara giggled and headed right into it.
\ldblquote This is \b great\b0 ! I should bring David and Angela down here to build a snowman.\rdblquote Then she flopped into it. It was so deep, she almost sank out of my view. \ldblquote Snow angels!\rdblquote she chirped, and started making one.
It struck me then. Was this the same Kara? Did changing timelines change the person? I thought about it, and decided--no. She\rquote d been the same Kara I\rquote d known for the four months I\rquote d been \lquote back\rquote . Today, she was different, though. Kara\rquote d always been fairly serious and reserved. Not solemn or anything like that, just reserved. Today? She was positively \b giddy\b0 .
I said as much. \ldblquote Boy, you\rquote re in a bubbly mood today!\rdblquote
She laughed, still making a snow angel. \ldblquote Snow makes me feel like a little kid, I guess.\rdblquote She stood up then--smiling, flushed, snow-covered, and grinning at me. \ldblquote And, I admit,\rdblquote she said a little softer, \ldblquote I\rquote m happy to see you.\rdblquote
How \b did\b0 I get this lucky?
She stepped over towards me, out of the impression she had made in the snow. \ldblquote You wanna see my snow angel?\rdblquote
\ldblquote I think I\rquote m already looking at one,\rdblquote I blurted out. It was the right thing to say. Before I knew it, she was wrapped around me, pressing her lips into mine. We separated--me barely staying upright!--and then we got out of the snow drifts on the lawn and started walking.
I still didn\rquote t trust this, though. \ldblquote Kara,\rdblquote I said to her after a minute, \ldblquote have I changed \b that\b0 much?\rdblquote
She thought for a few seconds, and then said, \ldblquote Yes and no. I don\rquote t know, really. You changed enough to get me to go on a date with you. Quite honestly, I thought that\rquote s all it was going to be.\rdblquote She sighed. \ldblquote But, you were right. I really don\rquote t, or didn\rquote t, know you.\rdblquote She looked at me with a little smile. \ldblquote When we were on the phone Sunday night, you had me cracking up. It felt good. I really enjoyed our date Saturday. I was glad to see you today.\rdblquote She took a breath. \ldblquote I don\rquote t understand it, either. It just \b is\b0 .\rdblquote
\ldblquote Good enough for me,\rdblquote I laughed.
We walked, not saying much, until we got to the bowling alley. \ldblquote I\rquote d better turn back here,\rdblquote she sighed. She leaned up and kissed me again. \ldblquote Call me, OK? Especially to let me know when you're coming home.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Will do,\rdblquote I told her.
\b FEBRUARY 14\super h\nosupersub , 1978
\b0
The eleventh was The Saturday After The Blizzard. Things were starting to open up just a wee bit, but it was still treacherous going. I had spent the last couple days with my grandmother, but decided to walk home today. I called Kara before I left.
\ldblquote Great! I\rquote ll meet you!\rdblquote
\ldblquote Huh?\rdblquote I said.
\ldblquote I\rquote ll leave now and I\rquote ll meet you halfway.\rdblquote
Unbelievable.
When we met up, she kissed me. Then we started walking. We chatted easily until we got to her house. She kissed me again, a few houses from hers, then she went in.
Monday we were back in school. Wednesday was Valentine\rquote s Day. It seemed like I might actually \b have\b0 a valentine, for the very first time. So, I had to get her something, didn\rquote t I? I decided on a little scheme. I went for my run early Wednesday morning, with Kara\rquote s Valentines goodies in hand--a card, a couple of Valentine\rquote s heart-shaped balloons, and a bag filled with Hershey\rquote s Kisses. Kara had told me she was a confirmed chocoholic. The plan was to drop the bounty on her doorstep, so she\rquote d see it when she opened the door--and then continue running. I\rquote d hoped I was early enough; I didn\rquote t want to get \lquote caught\rquote .
I creeped up to her doorstep, and arranged the stuff. I looked up--and the front door had opened! Damn, I thought, but it wasn\rquote t Kara. It was her mother, standing there with a big grin. I put my finger to my lips as if to say \lquote shhh\rquote . She nodded and grinned wider. I took off before Kara came out.
Later that morning, I went to my locker in between classes. I opened it and an envelope fell out. I picked it up and opened it. It was from Kara. Underneath the printed message inside, she had signed it \ldblquote Love, Kara,\rdblquote which was nice. But what she wrote on the opposite, blank, part was even better. It was in a different pen, so she must\rquote ve added it after she went to her doorstep this morning. It said, \ldblquote I couldn\rquote t believe it! You are the sweetest guy in the universe!\rdblquote And she signed it with a heart, and her initials, KP, inside the heart.
Later, in English, I got a blinding smile for my troubles.
That day, on the bus, I was sitting a few rows away from her. She was sitting with Kelly. Another one of her cronies, Danica Rosen, was sitting behind her.
\ldblquote Hershey\rquote s Kisses? You got kisses? Gimmee!\rdblquote I heard Danica say.
\ldblquote No way. These are mine. My Valentine gave them to me,\rdblquote Kara said.
\ldblquote Valentine? You got a valentine? Who?\rdblquote Danica asked her.
\ldblquote I\rquote m not tellin\rquote !\rdblquote
As if all this wasn\rquote t satisfying enough--I was barely in the front door of my house when the phone rang. And she was \b gushing\b0 !
I was reeling. This was Kara Pocharsky, for crying out loud, a girl who wouldn\rquote t give me the time of day the first time around! And now, somehow, I seemed to have found the key to her heart. And I wasn\rquote t quite sure \b how\b0 ! I guess I really \b did\b0 know, even more than I thought I did, the mistakes I had made the first time around.
But still, sometimes it seemed like I hadn\rquote t stepped into my own past as much as I had stepped into the twilight zone!
\b MARCH 1\super st\nosupersub , 1978
\b0
I guess I wasn\rquote t completely in the twilight zone, though. But I\rquote ll get back to that.
Between Valentine\rquote s Day and March 1\super st\nosupersub , which was a Wednesday, Kara and I had gone out a few more times. We talked on the phone almost every night. After our last date, I had asked her, \ldblquote So, are we dating now?\rdblquote
\ldblquote We\rquote re definitely dating now,\rdblquote she giggled. The kiss she gave me then could\rquote ve set a house on fire!
This was important to me. I had a relationship, and it was going well. Well, it was even more special because it was with Kara. But having a real relationship, at only 13, was something else.
On my first go-round, I didn\rquote t have that. The closest I got was with Cyndi. After her, it wasn\rquote t until my senior year, when I was 17, that I had a relationship. Her name was Rosalie, and we were set up by a friend of mine. We went out from March of Senior Year until I left for school in September. I went to college in St. Louis, and neither of us wanted a long distance relationship, so we parted. However, she was sweet and we had fun.
The next summer, I dated my next-door neighbor Josephine. That was \b very\b0 nice, and it was my first real physical relationship, though we didn\rquote t go all the way. That lasted as a long-distance relationship all through first semester. We had joyous reunions at Thanksgiving and Christmas. In February, however, I got a Dear John letter.
The next four years, give or take, were one unrequited infatuation after another, combined with washing out of college. When I was 22, I looked up Rosalie again. I remembered her fondly from high school. We met up, and started dating again. Shortly thereafter, she got my virginity.
What a fucking mistake.
Rosalie had changed, a \b lot\b0 . I guess part of it was that I refused to see that. But part of it was my state of mind. I was 22, almost 23, and had had two brief relationships in my life. I was insecure about relationships, had no self-esteem, and was love \b and\b0 sex-starved. Quite honestly, I would\rquote ve gone out with--and slept with--\b anybody\b0 that had offered at that point. Since I had fond memories of Rosalie, I was easy pickings.
But, as I said, Rosalie had changed. She\rquote d gone to college and, basically, allowed anything with a prick to fuck her. She had her own self-esteem issues--and a lot of them had to do with control.
So, I was insecure and unsure and, frankly, desperate--and I ended up in a relationship with someone that had control issues.
Sound familiar to anyone? Sound familiar to anyone that\rquote s been in an abusive relationship?
And you thought that only happened to women.
It was mainly emotional, but I got one black eye out of it.
I\rquote m not even the one that ended it, to my everlasting shame. She did...and I thought I\rquote d \b lost\b0 something.
It\rquote s amazing--and depressing--how the failures of childhood follow you for too long a time.
Anyhow, this all popped into my mind, walking alongside Kara as we came home from one of our dates. There were probably a lot of reasons why Rosalie happened, and why I let it happen, but this was one of them; probably the biggest one. Because I never had \b this\b0 . I looked over at Kara, smiling, holding my hand, and realized--I never had this. It wasn\rquote t about sex--it was about having a teenaged relationship. I\rquote d never done that, so I didn\rquote t know \b how\b0 to do it. And when it came time to have an \b adult\b0 relationship, the one with Rosalie is the one I found myself in.
I was thinking of all this. I stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, and just wrapped my arms around Kara and hugged her, as tight as I could.\line
\ldblquote Mmmmmm,\rdblquote she purred, \ldblquote what was \b that\b0 for?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Just felt like it, is all,\rdblquote I said.
\ldblquote You\rquote re such a sweetheart,\rdblquote she grinned, and we started walking again.
Like I said earlier--the fucking Twilight Zone. But if that\rquote s where I was, I didn\rquote t want to leave!
Of course, not completely, as the events of this day--March 1\super st\nosupersub --made plain.
I missed the bus. I was at the phones in front of the school--damn, I missed cell phones!--trying to call my Mom. No answer. Damn.
I turned around to see Beth grinning at me. \ldblquote Missed the bus and your Mom\rquote s not home again, right?\rdblquote
\ldblquote You got it, Beffy.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Well, come on, then.\rdblquote Beth lived close enough to school to walk. This had happened a couple of times last year, where I missed the bus and couldn\rquote t get a hold of Mom. Beth and I walked to her house. I was able to hang out there until I could get ahold of Mom.
There was a shortcut from school to Beth\rquote s house, it ran along railroad tracks. We always went that way. And the tracks got us away from the busy streets--easier to talk that way. As I said, we\rquote d done this a few times last year. This hadn\rquote t happened yet this year, though--in other words, it hadn\rquote t happened since she\rquote d been diagnosed.
We loped along together down the railroad tracks. \ldblquote So,\rdblquote she started with a grin, \ldblquote is what I hear true?\rdblquote
\ldblquote What would that be?\rdblquote I asked her.
\ldblquote You\rquote re actually dating Kara Pocharsky?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Yeah,\rdblquote I admitted. \ldblquote How did \b you\b0 find out, though?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Kara told me,\rdblquote she grinned. \ldblquote We\rquote re in Home Ec together, you know, and we were assigned to be partners on a cooking project. I don\rquote t know her at all, except for your glowing descriptions,\rdblquote she smirked. \ldblquote You know me, I don\rquote t talk a lot to people I don\rquote t know.\rdblquote
\ldblquote And with those of us that are your friends, you talk our ears off,\rdblquote I teased.\line
\ldblquote Yeah, yeah. Shut up,\rdblquote she grinned. \ldblquote Anyway, she started it. Said to me, \lquote You\rquote re really good friends with Eddie Bovilas, aren\rquote t you?\rquote I told her I was. That\rquote s when she told me you guys were going out. You must be on cloud nine,\rdblquote she smiled.
\ldblquote Pretty much.\rdblquote
\ldblquote We did that project together for a week, so we talked. She\rquote s very sweet. Smart, too. And she\rquote s \b nuts\b0 about you!\rdblquote
\ldblquote I know,\rdblquote I laughed. \ldblquote Do \b not\b0 ask me how \b that\b0 happened.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Well, I\rquote ve noticed you\rquote ve changed a lot this year. You\rquote re more confident. Once Kara got past that, she surely noticed how sweet you are. Knowing you, I\rquote ll bet you treat her like a queen.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Yeah, basically,\rdblquote I smiled. \ldblquote And she said the same thing--not being an annoying nerd allowed me to show her the good parts.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I\rquote m glad, I really am,\rdblquote Beth said. \ldblquote Somebody\rquote s got to watch out for you.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Yup, and since you did it all last year, I guess it\rquote s someone else\rquote s turn,\rdblquote I told her with a grin. I thought that that was a pretty innocuous comment. I was wrong. She looked at me in complete shock.
\ldblquote What?\rdblquote she gasped.
\ldblquote You don\rquote t know? You got me \b through\b0 last year. I don\rquote t know what I would\rquote ve done without you. Seventh grade was the worst year of my life. I felt like a complete outcast. Except around you. You introduced me to your friends. You told one of the assholes to get off my back in English class. If you saw me eating lunch alone, you dragged your friends over to eat with me. If I had a day when I was beat up or harassed, you were the one that told me it\rquote d be all right. Last year was hell, Beth. The one and only bright spot was \b you\b0 .\rdblquote She was still looking at me like I was an alien being. She never \b knew\b0 this? The first time around, she \b died\b0 without knowing this? Of course, that time I\rquote d never said it, either. I could kick myself.
Then, she started \b crying\b0 . \ldblquote Beth? Did I say something wrong?\rdblquote With that, she \b hurled\b0 herself at me. Before I knew it, I was holding in my arms 100 pounds of crying, shuddering female. I just stroked her hair and let her cry it out. Finally she calmed down--and tried to explain what she was thinking.
\ldblquote God, Ed, I mean--I worry--I wonder\'85.If, you know, it all means anything\'85.if I had done any good\'85.it\rquote s so short\'85.I mean\'85.did I \b do\b0 anything\'85before I, you know\'85.\rdblquote
I interrupted her. \ldblquote You wonder if you\rquote ve accomplished anything, if you did anything.\rdblquote She looked at me, and I understood the unspoken question. \ldblquote Beth,\rdblquote I said gently, \ldblquote I understand your prognosis, you know.\rdblquote
\ldblquote You do?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Yeah.\rdblquote She took a breath, and started walking again. I walked beside her.
\ldblquote I thought you were in denial.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I probably was for a while. I\rquote m not anymore.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Everybody else is,\rdblquote she snorted. \ldblquote Well, my Dad mostly isn\rquote t. But everybody else is. My Mom, my brothers, my friends--everybody\rquote s counting on a miracle.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Beth, I know you well enough--you must have \b some\b0 hope.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Oh, sure,\rdblquote she agreed. \ldblquote But I\rquote m also a realist. Let\rquote s face it--the odds are extremely high that I\rquote m dying.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I know,\rdblquote I said.
\ldblquote And the problem with nobody else accepting this fact is that people keep looking towards the future. Maybe this, and possibly that, and keep hope up, and so on. I have trouble living that way. I find myself having to be realistic. The odds are I don\rquote t have much of a future. So I\rquote m trying to live for today, you know? Every day I wake up still alive is another day--and that\rquote s a good thing.\rdblquote
Though we\rquote d never had this conversation the first time around, I wasn\rquote t surprised by it. I\rquote d heard from other people that this was her basic attitude for the whole time she was in remission. I\rquote m glad I got the second chance to talk to her about it, though.
\ldblquote I see what you mean,\rdblquote I told her, \ldblquote but you worry that you\rquote re not doing anything.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Yeah.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Well, you did for me. I\rquote m not exaggerating, OK? You were my rock last year. Plus, you\rquote re my best friend. You\rquote ve always been my best friend. That means a lot to me. It might not mean much in the grand scheme of things, but it means a lot to me.\rdblquote
\ldblquote You saying that means a lot to \b me\b0 ,\rdblquote she said. \ldblquote I must admit, though, that it almost seemed as if you\rquote ve been avoiding me.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Well, I probably have, at least a little bit. Trying to get myself together about it, is all. I mean, shit--what do you say?\rdblquote
\ldblquote You just said it,\rdblquote she smiled.
\ldblquote Good, then,\rdblquote I said. \ldblquote And I promise I won\rquote t be avoiding you. Now that we got this out of the way.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Good,\rdblquote she said. We were walking hand-in-hand down the railroad tracks. \ldblquote Of course, Kara will probably be upset,\rdblquote she joked.
\ldblquote No, she won\rquote t. Kara knows, Beth. She also understands. Honestly, when I tell her about this conversation, she\rquote ll be happy we had it.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Good. Then she really \b is\b0 good for you. That\rquote s good to know.\rdblquote She paused. \ldblquote There was one thing that puzzled me, though, and Kara didn\rquote t really answer it. Why do I never see you guys together?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Because we don\rquote t do that in school,\rdblquote I told her. She looked at me. \ldblquote Kara and I dating isn\rquote t common knowledge. Kara\rquote s not ready for that.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Well, that\rquote s not very nice,\rdblquote Beth said.
I laughed. \ldblquote Maybe so, but I understand it. When it gets out, there\rquote s going to be shit. Some of her friends \b aren\rquote t\b0 going to accept this. You know my reputation. You see through it, and so does Kara. Now Kara\rquote s best friend, Kelly Cullinane, sees through it, too. Kelly knows about Kara and I. But a lot of the rest of Kara\rquote s crowd just sees the reputation.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Ah. That must be tough for you, though.\rdblquote
\ldblquote A little, but I think it\rquote ll take care of itself. Hell, we\rquote ve not even been going out a month yet. Kara told me she wanted to make sure this really \b was\b0 something before she went public with it. We\rquote re not exactly secretive--only in school. I go to her house and pick her up, and all her friends live in her neighborhood. It\rquote s just luck we haven\rquote t been spotted.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I can sort of understand that. I\rquote m glad she told me, though,\rdblquote Beth said.
\ldblquote So am I, since I hadn\rquote t had a chance to,\rdblquote I laughed.
\b MARCH 14\super th\nosupersub ,1978
\b0
When I talked to Kara on the phone on Monday Night, the 13\super th\nosupersub , she dropped the bomb. \ldblquote Honey? It\rquote s time to bite the bullet. What I\rquote ve been doing is unfair to you, and I\rquote ve come to see it\rquote s unfair to me, too.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Uh, what are you talking about?\rdblquote I said, not without a degree of trepidation.
\ldblquote I\rquote m talking about sneaking around. There\rquote s a party Saturday night. We\rquote re going--together. And, in preparation for that, you\rquote re eating lunch with me tomorrow. I\rquote m going to ask you to the party right in front of all my friends. If they can\rquote t accept it, that\rquote s their problem.\rdblquote
Wow! \ldblquote Are you sure?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Yes, very sure,\rdblquote she said. \ldblquote Let\rquote s get this out of the way.\rdblquote
\ldblquote OK, if you want.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I want. Do \b you\b0 want?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Yes,\rdblquote I said immediately. \ldblquote I understand your reasons for keeping it secret, but, yeah, it\rquote s bugging me. I\rquote d like to be able to kiss you good morning.\rdblquote
She laughed. \ldblquote That sounds delightful!\rdblquote
After we got off the bus this day, the 14\super th\nosupersub , she pulled me over to a corner. \ldblquote Wait five minutes at lunch, OK?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Fine. I\rquote ll have to kind of lurk around since I brown-bagged it today. You want to set them up.\rdblquote
\ldblquote A little, yes.\rdblquote
\ldblquote How demonstrative do you want me to be?\rdblquote I laughed.
\ldblquote Oh, as much as you want. Very would be nice,\rdblquote she purred.
\ldblquote I think I can handle that,\rdblquote I said, still laughing.
I saw her at lunch, getting together with her friends, at their customary table. She left the seat at the end, right next to her, open. I could see she had put her books in front of it to save it. I killed the five minutes by finding Beth, and telling her what was going on. \ldblquote Good luck, loverboy,\rdblquote she laughed, and gave me a big hug.
I found out later what Kara was telling her friends. \ldblquote Look, guys, you need to know something. I have a boyfriend. We\rquote ve been going out for over a month. I haven\rquote t told you guys because you\rquote re going to be surprised. But he\rquote s going to come eat with us today. I want to invite him to Sara\rquote s party.\rdblquote I guess they all looked at her, wondering what was up. It was just then that I came to the table. I sat in the seat next to her, and she grinned at me.
Before anyone else got a chance to say anything, Bob Golan--a neighbor of the Cullinane twins and a guy I didn\rquote t like much--said, \ldblquote Hey, Bovilas, what are you doing? You can\rquote t just sit there! That seat\rquote s saved for Kara\rquote s new boyfriend!\rdblquote
\ldblquote I know,\rdblquote I grinned, and turned and kissed Kara on the cheek. \ldblquote Hi, sweetie.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Hi, honey,\rdblquote she purred.
Except for Kelly Cullinane, who knew, and her brother Patrick--Kelly must\rquote ve told him--every jaw at that table hit the floor!
\ldblquote Hey, I got you something,\rdblquote I said, digging into my lunch bag. I pulled out a plastic bag and plopped it in front of her. Hey, if I was going to be demonstrative\'85.. \ldblquote I told you I could cook,\rdblquote I said with a grin.
She opened the bag, and lit right up. \ldblquote Chocolate chip cookies?\rdblquote
\ldblquote With pecans.\rdblquote
\ldblquote My favorite!\rdblquote she blurted, and took a bite of one. \ldblquote They\rquote re \b good\b0 ! You made these?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Yup. And I made enough to keep you in \lquote em all week. I burnt the first pan, but I saved those for my brother.\rdblquote
\ldblquote You sweetie!\rdblquote she said, kissing my cheek. Damn, she was pouring it on. I loved it! \ldblquote Anyhow, there\rquote s a reason I asked you to eat with me today.\rdblquote I knew what was coming, but I just looked interested. \ldblquote It\rquote s Sara\rquote s birthday today.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Well, happy birthday, Sara,\rdblquote I said pleasantly.
\ldblquote Thanks,\rdblquote she croaked. Everyone was still staring, shocked, at Kara and me--except for Kelly, who was suppressing a giggle fit.
\ldblquote Anyhow,\rdblquote Kara went on, \ldblquote Sara\rquote s having a party on Saturday night. You up for it?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Sounds good to me.\rdblquote
The rest of the table just looked at us in shock. Finally, Danica Rosen found her vocal cords. \ldblquote Waitaminnit--Kara, you\rquote re going out with \b him\b0 ?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Yup,\rdblquote she said.
\ldblquote But you told me you\rquote d never go out with him in a million years!\rdblquote
\ldblquote Changed my mind,\rdblquote Kara said. \ldblquote And, boy, am I ever glad I did!\rdblquote
\ldblquote This is the weirdest thing I\rquote ve \b ever\b0 heard,\rdblquote Joe Vizcano, another one of her crowd that didn\rquote t like me much, said.
\ldblquote I know. I mean, really,\rdblquote Danica Rosen said. \ldblquote You\rquote re actually going out with \b that\b0 ?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Kara, you\rquote re reputation\rquote s shot now, you know,\rdblquote Denise Bucher, another one, offered up.
Kara was listening to all this with increasing dismay. She seemed surprised. I was \b not\b0 . She looked around the table and said, \ldblquote I thought you guys were my friends.\rdblquote
\ldblquote We are,\rdblquote Danica said, \ldblquote which is why we don\rquote t want to see you do something so stupid.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Why is it stupid?\rdblquote Kara asked.
\ldblquote Because, well, \b look\b0 at him!\rdblquote Danica said. \ldblquote He\rquote s the biggest nerd in school!\rdblquote
It was time to say something, to take the heat off Kara, and hopefully, to make her smile, because she was getting agitated. \ldblquote The \b biggest\b0 ?\rdblquote I said. \ldblquote How does one get to become the \b biggest\b0 nerd in school? Was there a vote? Did I miss it? Frankly, I would\rquote ve voted for Dick Capuano--he\rquote s far more of a nerd than I am. I might make top ten, but \b biggest\b0 ?\rdblquote Kara was chuckling--which was the idea--and poor Kelly was barely holding in the guffaws.
\ldblquote Look, Kara,\rdblquote Denise started, trying a different tack, \ldblquote what can you \b possibly\b0 see in him?\rdblquote
\ldblquote I bake her cookies,\rdblquote I said.
\ldblquote Yes, and he buys me Hershey\rquote s Kisses for Valentine\rquote s day,\rdblquote she said, grinning.
\ldblquote And I thought the way to a \b guy\rquote s\b0 heart was through his stomach,\rdblquote I laughed.
She smiled at me, then turned back towards the table. \ldblquote Look, I don\rquote t expect you to understand this--just accept it.\rdblquote
After much under-the-breath grumbling, the matter was dropped. The rest of the lunch proceeded more-or-less peacefully. Did I think that this was it? No, I did not. Kara might have, but I didn\rquote t.
It was very nice, in any case, to walk from lunch to English hand-in-hand with her. Walking into English was pretty cool, too--Stan noticed, and said, \ldblquote You two?\rdblquote
\ldblquote For a month now,\rdblquote Kara told him.
\ldblquote Cool!\rdblquote Even Michelle Pepper gave her sign of approval.
It was a very nice week. We acted, in school, like we had been out of school--as a couple. I loved every minute of it.
Of \b course\b0 I wasn\rquote t going to get out of it completely unscathed. I\rquote m not that lucky, not even in this life.
\b MARCH 18\super th\nosupersub , 1978
\b0
That afternoon, prior to the party, we went to the mall. We decided to get a birthday gift for Sara together. Kara knew what stores Sara liked to shop in, so that\rquote s where we went. I actually found the sweater we bought her. \ldblquote I think this would look good on her,\rdblquote I told Kara. She agreed, teased me for being so good at picking out girls\rquote clothes, and we bought it.
I was nervous about the party. Kara sensed this and tried to calm me down, but I didn\rquote t share her optimism. \ldblquote Look, after this party, nobody\rquote s going to question us being together,\rdblquote she said. Well, we\rquote d see.
I sensed the hostility right away. The Cullinane twins were friendly, but from the rest, hostility.
We grabbed a couch and settled in. This was probably a tactical mistake. Kara wasn\rquote t mingling, which was noticed. She wasn\rquote t hanging out with Sara, Danica, and the rest, which was definitely noticed. They watched us warily for about an hour, I could tell.
The tactics were predictable: divide and conquer. The girls came and asked Kara to go \lquote powder her nose\rquote . It would\rquote ve been bad form to refuse, so she went with them. I was keeping the couch warm, when here they came--Bob Golan, Joe Vizcano, Mark Adamopoulos, Jon Karalides, and Steve McCauley. Patrick Cullinane was there, too, but was hanging back.
Bob sat down next to me. \ldblquote Ed, listen. You know this is a mistake, don\rquote t you?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Why?\rdblquote I asked reasonably.
\ldblquote Because Kara needs someone her speed. You have to be able to see that.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Her speed, \b how\b0 , exactly?\rdblquote I asked.
\ldblquote Her speed, her crowd, people that she hangs around with,\rdblquote Mark put in. \ldblquote You\rquote re not her kind of people.\rdblquote
\ldblquote And who is?\rdblquote I asked, guessing what the answer was going to be.
I guessed right. \ldblquote Don Nixon,\rdblquote Bob said. \ldblquote Don\rquote s been waiting for her to realize what a mistake she made dumping him. You\rquote re in the way of that.\rdblquote
\ldblquote That\rquote s a \lquote mistake\rquote she\rquote s never going to realize, whether or not I\rquote m in the picture,\rdblquote I spat at him. \ldblquote Don treated her like shit.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Don doesn\rquote t see it that way,\rdblquote Bob said. \ldblquote We all thought they made a good couple.\rdblquote
I changed tactics, and looked at Patrick, who was lurking around listening, uncomfortably. \ldblquote Patrick. How long have you known?\rdblquote I asked him.
\ldblquote Since the beginning,\rdblquote he grinned. \ldblquote Kel told me.\rdblquote
\ldblquote And Kara\rquote s at your house a lot, correct?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Sure, hanging with Kel.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Notice any difference in her in the last month and a half?\rdblquote I asked.
\ldblquote Yes,\rdblquote he said firmly. \ldblquote She\rquote s a lot happier. She wasn\rquote t happy with Don. She\rquote s very happy with you. And I don\rquote t just see that, I hear it. Kel told me that she thought that going out with you is the best decision Kara ever made.\rdblquote
\ldblquote See?\rdblquote I said.
\ldblquote You \b are\b0 kidding, right?\rdblquote Bob asked Patrick.
\ldblquote Nope,\rdblquote Patrick said. \ldblquote Look, a lot of you might not see it, but \b I\b0 do. Eddie and I have had our differences in the past, but we\rquote ve been friends for longer than that. He\rquote s basically a \b good\b0 guy. And I think he\rquote s good for Kara.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Well, of course she\rquote s happy now,\rdblquote Steve put in. \ldblquote Eddie lets her walk all over him.\rdblquote
\ldblquote No, actually, I don\rquote t. It\rquote s pretty equal,\rdblquote I said.
\ldblquote I\rquote m guessing he\rquote s right,\rdblquote Patrick said.
\ldblquote Look, you all know how I feel about her,\rdblquote I told them. \ldblquote So, yes, I make sure I\rquote m good to her. But I don\rquote t let her walk all over me. Furthermore, she doesn\rquote t even try. I just don\rquote t disrespect her or try to control her. She doesn\rquote t deserve that.\rdblquote
Just then, Kara came around the corner. \ldblquote Why thank you, sweetie,\rdblquote she said to me. \ldblquote Hey, Bob? Out of my seat, huh?\rdblquote Bob got up, not happy about it, and Kara settled in next to me. \ldblquote So, were these guys giving you the same crap the girls were just giving me?\rdblquote
\ldblquote I\rquote m guessing so,\rdblquote I told her.
\ldblquote How I\rquote m ruining my life by going out with you?\rdblquote she laughed.
\ldblquote Well, in my case, it\rquote s that \b I\b0 am ruining your life by going out with you.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Ah,\rdblquote she laughed. \ldblquote I guess we\rquote ll just have to both ruin my life, then.\rdblquote
The collected vultures seemed to give up at this point. They all moved away, muttering--with a couple of exceptions. The Cullinane twins were plainly amused by all the fuss. And, surprisingly, Steve McCauley and Danica Rosen hung around. They grabbed a couple chairs and sat across from us.
\ldblquote Look--is this \b real\b0 ?\rdblquote Danica asked.
\ldblquote Yeah,\rdblquote Kara told her. \ldblquote Look, Dani, I\rquote m as surprised as you are. But it\rquote s real. Honestly.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Dani,\rdblquote I said, thinking about what I wanted to say, \ldblquote look. I\rquote m trying to make some changes, OK? Kara noticed, that\rquote s all.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Yeah,\rdblquote Kara agreed. \ldblquote Remember how I told you he asked me out before, when I was going out with Don?\rdblquote Danica nodded. \ldblquote Remember I told me he called me on the phone and was his usual stammering self? Well, when he asked me out this time, he wasn\rquote t like that. He did it in person and was cool about it. I noticed the difference immediately. And when I hesitated, he talked me into it, and made a lot of sense doing it. I agreed to one date. We had a great time, so we didn\rquote t stop there.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Dani, I\rquote m sick of being the school laughingstock,\rdblquote I told her. \ldblquote I was scared of my own shadow. I\rquote m tired of it. I decided to change some things. I knew \b why\b0 Kara wouldn\rquote t go out with me--so I fixed things.\rdblquote
\ldblquote He treats me like a princess, you know,\rdblquote Kara said, with a sweet little smile.
They seemed to accept things a little better. Eventually they moved off, and Kara and I were sitting on the couch, just chatting happily.
The next thing I knew, I was getting punched, full-force, in the face. I never saw it coming. It felt like a baseball bat had slammed into my nose. Then I got hit in the stomach. Then the face again. I was \b not\b0 ready for it. It distantly registered to me through the haze that poor Kara was screaming--and was covered in \b my\b0 blood. My whole face was exploding in pain and I couldn\rquote t breathe.
Steve and Patrick pulled him off me. It was Kara\rquote s ex, Don Nixon. I should\rquote ve known.
Evidently--and I found this out later--there was a conspiracy with two different agendas. Sara had evidently invited him because \b she\b0 had designs on him and she was hoping that seeing Kara with a loser like me would turn Don off from Kara. But some of the guys talked to him, and convinced him that since Kara was with a loser like me, he could win her back.
I\rquote ll give them all credit, though. I really don\rquote t think any of them thought he\rquote d do what he did.
It was chaos. My head was spinning. I could only see through a red haze and my stomach was going blllllppppp. Kara was screaming, Don was screaming, Sara\rquote s mother came storming in to see what had happened--but I had to get out of there.
I stumbled out the front door, almost unnoticed. I threw up into Sara\rquote s mother\rquote s rose bushes. After that wonderful experience, I ended up sitting on the lawn--cold, in pain, and alone.
Wasn\rquote t this where I came in?
Things had gotten too easy. I thought I\rquote d turned everything around. And now, here I was, having gotten my ass kicked, just like the first time around. Except, to my unending humiliation, this time was in front of Kara, my girlfriend.
The chaos still raged inside the house, as far as I could hear. Then I heard the door open. \ldblquote Eddie?\rdblquote Kara said.
\ldblquote Here,\rdblquote I told her.
She found me sitting on the lawn. She sat next to me. \ldblquote I\rquote m so sorry,\rdblquote she said.
\ldblquote What are \b you\b0 sorry for?\rdblquote
\ldblquote For ever going out with that ass,\rdblquote she snorted. \ldblquote I didn\rquote t think he\rquote d ever do \b this\b0 , though. Are you OK?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Not particularly.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I thought you had taken off,\rdblquote she said.
\ldblquote No, I had to come out here and throw up,\rdblquote I snorted. I couldn\rquote t help it. Despite my adult memories, I was reacting like a 13-year-old kid. Reacting the way I did the first time. I was ashamed and humiliated, and I felt the old self-loathing creeping back in. \ldblquote Maybe I should just go home, though. You don\rquote t want to be seen with me after \b this\b0 .\rdblquote
She looked right into my eyes. \ldblquote Eddie, listen to me. You were attacked. He sucker-punched you. You didn\rquote t see it coming and had no chance to defend yourself. And everybody in that room knows it. Nobody thinks worse of you. In a fair fight, you\rquote d probably take him. After all that weightlifting, you\rquote re stronger than he is.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I see what you\rquote re saying, but I can\rquote t help it. It just feels like before. And having it happen in front of you makes it worse. Jeez, I bled all over your shirt.\rdblquote
She actually \b giggled\b0 ! \ldblquote A badge of honor, I\rquote d say.\rdblquote
I just shook my head in wonder. \ldblquote You are something else.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I am, aren\rquote t I?\rdblquote she giggled.
Just then, Sara\rquote s mother came out of the house. \ldblquote Are you OK?\rdblquote she asked, coming out to us on the lawn.
\ldblquote I don\rquote t know. I\rquote m sorry, but I threw up in your rose bushes.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Better there than on the couch,\rdblquote she laughed. She came over and looked at me. \ldblquote Eddie, you might want to go to the hospital. Your nose might be broken.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I agree,\rdblquote Kara said. \ldblquote We can either call your mother, or go fetch mine.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Mine\rquote s working--at the hospital, as a matter of fact.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Then we\rquote ll walk over to my house and have my mom bring us up,\rdblquote Kara said.
Just then, Don came out, \lquote escorted\rquote by Steve and Patrick, who were holding him by the arms. Don was plainly not happy, and was trying to get out of the grasp of the other two, who weren\rquote t letting it happen.
\ldblquote Hey, Ed,\rdblquote Patrick said, \ldblquote before we get him out of here, you want a free shot?\rdblquote
\ldblquote No,\rdblquote I said, looking at him in disgust. \ldblquote\b I\b0 do not sucker-punch.\rdblquote Patrick and Steve looked at me with approval. \ldblquote I\rquote ll tell you one thing, Nixon--if that little stunt was designed to get Kara back, then you don\rquote t know Kara at \b all\b0 . If you \b ever\b0 had a chance--which you didn\rquote t--you just destroyed it. She\rquote s not impressed at all.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Damn right,\rdblquote Kara agreed.
\ldblquote What are you doing with him?\rdblquote I asked the guys.
\ldblquote We\rquote re taking him to my house and his mother\rquote s gonna get him there,\rdblquote Steve said. \ldblquote And, she\rquote s not happy!\rdblquote They went off up the street with him.
\ldblquote Come on,\rdblquote Kara said, and pulled me up by my hands. We started in the other direction, towards her house. Her mom drove me to the hospital, where they checked me out. Luckily, the nose wasn\rquote t broken, just messed up. Kara\rquote s mom drove me home after we talked to mine.
Kara held my hand and stroked my shoulder the whole time, and kissed me goodnight--right in front of her mom! That helped a lot, but I was still shaky when I went to bed.
\b MARCH 20\super th\nosupersub , 1978
\b0
The worst part of Monday morning were the constant \ldblquote What happened to \b you\b0 ?\rdblquote questions. Most of them I shrugged off. I told people like Beth and Stan, though.
At lunch, Kara was waiting for me. \ldblquote Will you come eat with me?\rdblquote she asked.
\ldblquote I suppose,\rdblquote I said.
\ldblquote You don\rquote t want to eat with my friends.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I\rquote m not thrilled with it,\rdblquote I admitted.
\ldblquote I think it\rquote ll be fine, but, I\rquote ve never eaten with your friends. So we can do that today if you want. Who do you eat with?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Stan Murvetsin. His pals Carl Morello and Rob Singleman. Sometimes Beth, and her best girlfriend Kerry Coombs join us.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Sound good,\rdblquote she said, and I led her over to my \lquote usual\rquote table. Those people, including Beth and Kerry, were already there.
\ldblquote Hey, you guys know Kara, right?\rdblquote I introduced her to those that didn\rquote t.
Just as we settled in our seats, we had another visitor, Michelle Pepper. \ldblquote You guys mind if I sit here? I usually eat with Chris Seneca, but she\rquote s out today.\rdblquote We welcomed her along.
Shortly on \b her\b0 heels came the Cullinane twins and Danica Rosen. \ldblquote So this is where you guys are hiding!\rdblquote Kelly said to Kara and I. \ldblquote We\rquote re gonna join you.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Please,\rdblquote Danica said. \ldblquote I can\rquote t stand to watch Sara over there going all goo goo over Don Nixon. And Bob getting Don to talk about how he clobbered Eddie. Yeah, by sucker-punching him. How\rquote s your face?\rdblquote she asked me.
\ldblquote Ugly as ever,\rdblquote I joked. \ldblquote Nah, it\rquote s OK. It hurts some, but it\rquote s OK.\rdblquote
\ldblquote What are you going to do about Don?\rdblquote Kelly asked me.
\ldblquote Not a thing. I don\rquote t have to. You see, when we leave the lunchroom, we have to walk right by his table. I\rquote ll just walk right by him, holding Kara\rquote s hand. That\rquote s all the revenge I need.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Eddie might have lost the battle--like you said, Dani, only from a sucker punch--but he won the war some time ago,\rdblquote Kara said with a grin.
\ldblquote Plus,\rdblquote I added to Dani and the Cullinanes, \ldblquote the three of you. You all used to be friends. He might have impressed some of them, but he pissed the three of you off. He\rquote s grasping at straws, and he knows it. I don\rquote t have to do a thing to him.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Sometimes, you\rquote re too classy,\rdblquote Beth put in.
\ldblquote Hey. I know what\rquote s important. Well, I\rquote m learning, anyway. How are you doing?\rdblquote
\ldblquote I\rquote m a little shaky today. Every few months, I have to go in for a little refresher dose of the chemo. Milder than the first batch, but it still makes me a little sick. I had it Friday.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Yeah, I thought you looked a little pale,\rdblquote I joked. Beth blinked, and then cracked up laughing. You have to understand, Beth was Sicilian. She was one of the darkest white people you\rquote ll ever see in your life.
\ldblquote A little pale?\rdblquote she sputtered. \ldblquote Even if such a thing were possible, how would you ever notice?\rdblquote
\ldblquote You went from mocha to caf\'e9 au lait?\rdblquote I said. That just made her laugh harder.
I noticed a few people looking at this conversation with interest. A few people--Kara and Kelly mostly, and Beth\rquote s friend Kerry, of course--knew, but most of the people here didn\rquote t.
Danica finally asked. \ldblquote Chemo?\rdblquote
As I said, Beth didn\rquote t keep it a secret. \ldblquote I have leukemia,\rdblquote she said simply.
\ldblquote Oh,\rdblquote Danica said.
\ldblquote I\rquote m in remission at the moment,\rdblquote Beth went on. \ldblquote They give me little chemo boosts to keep me there, as long as I can.\rdblquote After that sobering little thought, the conversation changed to other subjects.
At one point, we were discussing Kara\rquote s relationship with me. \ldblquote You know what\rquote s funny?\rdblquote Beth asked. \ldblquote I\rquote ve been Eddie\rquote s best friend since infancy. I\rquote ve had to listen to him blabber about Kara for two years. And when they \b finally\b0 start going out, does he tell me? NO! I had to hear about it from \b Kara\b0 !\rdblquote
\ldblquote Well, she wanted it kept a secret,\rdblquote I said.
\ldblquote Not from \b Beth\b0 , you big goof,\rdblquote Kara teased. \ldblquote Hell, Kelly knew.\rdblquote
\ldblquote You\rquote re hopeless,\rdblquote Beth said to me, laughing. \ldblquote You\rquote d better watch out for him, Kara, he\rquote s completely hopeless.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I keep him in line. It\rquote s a job, but someone has to do it,\rdblquote Kara teased.
\ldblquote If you\rquote ll all excuse me,\rdblquote I said in mock-indignation, \ldblquote I\rquote m going to crawl under the table until you\rquote re finished.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I wouldn\rquote t,\rdblquote Stan interjected. \ldblquote Kara will probably make you kiss her toes.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Hmm, that\rquote s an idea,\rdblquote Kara purred.
\ldblquote Oh, \b thanks\b0 , Murvetsin. You\rquote ll get yours.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Well, that could be fun,\rdblquote Stan mused. \ldblquote Depends on who I\rquote m gonna get mine \b from\b0 .\rdblquote
\ldblquote I vote for Michelle,\rdblquote I said, pointing at her. She blushed \b bright\b0 red. Hmmm, what was going on \b there\b0 ?
Stan chuckled. \ldblquote The Sarge? I\rquote ll kiss her toes any day.\rdblquote Michelle \b really\b0 blushed at that!
\ldblquote Sarge?\rdblquote Kelly asked.
\ldblquote This is what happens when your last name is Pepper and you get stuck in an English class with two Beatles freaks,\rdblquote Michelle said, bemused. \ldblquote You get renamed Sergeant Pepper.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Does that make the rest of us the Lonely Hearts Club Band?\rdblquote Danica joked.
\ldblquote Yes,\rdblquote Stan said. \ldblquote Well, except for \b those\b0 two,\rdblquote he joked, pointing at Kara and me.
This started a trend, and a welcome one. That group of people ate lunch together for the rest of eighth grade, most days. After a week or so, Steve McCauley joined us, too. It was great. I felt like, besides the greatest girlfriend in the world, I had a good group of friends. It was a very welcome development.