\pard DECEMBER, 2003
\b0
New month, new journal, new Amber. That\rquote s the way I looked at it. After what had happened towards the end of November, I felt like a different person.
It wasn\rquote t just losing my virginity. That made a big impact, sure--but it was also a gift, courtesy of Mike and Lily. It opened my eyes to the enormousness of sex, but that just confirmed a lot of what I had suspected. It made me feel \b very\b0 good, but I\rquote d expected that, too. It gave me some insight into what kind of people my sister and future brother-in-law truly were--but that, too, I think I had known all along.
It may have been the next day that really made me feel like a brand new person. Mike had presented me with a gift--but Darren hadn\rquote t. \b I \b0 had seduced \b him\b0 . It was all me. That gave me a jolt of confidence. With what had happened throughout the fall with Jenna and all them, I needed the confidence.
And then there was Joe. What he wrote in his journal...well, I don\rquote t know if I could ever repay that. It was wonderful. It made me go all fuzzy inside.
OK, thinking about that made me realize, I guess I was affected by losing my virginity to Mike. I was affected because it was just one small indicator of his generosity--and, let\rquote s not forget, Lily\rquote s. They truly loved me. Joe made me remember that, because he was a true friend.
Sometimes I get caught up in my own misery. I have to remember sometimes that people, good people, love me. And that made me feel even better.
So, when I went back to school on Monday, the first of December, it was with a whole new attitude. I felt good. I was determined to make the most of things.
What I \b wasn\rquote t\b0 prepared for was the stir I caused.
I wore clothes--not to mention a coat--to school, because it was cold. I went to my locker and stripped down as usual. There were a lot of other people there stripping, no surprise what with the cold. So, I nodded and smiled to people I knew and got my clothes off. Then, naked, I started piling my clothes into my locker.
That\rquote s when the pointing and staring and gasps started. I had almost forgotten--the shave!
\ldblquote Oh my God, you shaved your cunny?\rdblquote Jordan gasped. \ldblquote That\rquote s radical!\rdblquote
\ldblquote Yeah. I tried it out and found out I really liked it.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Where did you get the idea for that?\rdblquote she asked.
\ldblquote I\rquote ll tell you later,\rdblquote I grinned.
It really did cause quite a fuss. The guys thought it was great. The girls--some of them couldn\rquote t understand why, but the rest seemed intrigued. I got lots of comments, though, throughout the whole day.
At lunch, I sat with Jordan, Tiffany, Joe, and Moose. As we sat down, we were joined by someone else--Justin. He sat down next to me and said, \ldblquote Please don\rquote t leave.\rdblquote
I had seen what he had said about me in Joe\rquote s journal, so I was more receptive. \ldblquote OK.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I owe you an apology. I judged you based on what other people said and that was wrong.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Apology accepted,\rdblquote I said with a smile. He grinned, and held out his hand. I shook it.
After soccer practice that day, Rosa came up to me. \ldblquote So, what do I have to do?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Excuse me?\rdblquote
\ldblquote What do I have to do to prove to you that I\rquote m really sorry and that I want to be friends again?\rdblquote she said, looking horrible. \ldblquote This is eating me up inside.\rdblquote
I decided then that I was going to let her off the hook, but not before playing again. \ldblquote What do you have to do?\rdblquote I said with a grin. \ldblquote Well, you could lick my pussy.\rdblquote
She immediately dropped to her knees--but she was grinning too. \ldblquote Right here in the middle of the soccer field?\rdblquote she said.
\ldblquote Yeah, that might be a bad idea, huh?\rdblquote I laughed.
She stood up, and I wrapped her in a hug. \ldblquote Apology accepted.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Thank you,\rdblquote she said.
\ldblquote Then again, I should\rquote ve let you. I mean, I had sex on this soccer field a couple days ago.\rdblquote
\ldblquote What? With who?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Darren Walker.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Wow,\rdblquote she said. \ldblquote Darren Walker took your virgnity?\rdblquote
\ldblquote No, actually, he was my second. I actually lost my virginity the day before. To Mike.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Mike who?\rdblquote she asked.
\ldblquote Mike. You know, Mike? My sister\rquote s boyfriend?\rdblquote Rosa\rquote s eyes bugged right out of her head! \ldblquote Lily told him to, by the way. This wasn\rquote t behind her back.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Wow! How was it?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Fantastic,\rdblquote I said. \ldblquote And I was so pent up the next day that, after you guys left practice, I seduced Darren right on the soccer field.\rdblquote
\ldblquote You scamp,\rdblquote she laughed. \ldblquote So, feeling better?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Lots better,\rdblquote I admitted.
---------
I felt even better the next day. It was our last soccer game of the season.
And we finally won a game.
It was against Davis-Lycoming, the team I thought we had a chance to beat back in October. The game that led to the big blowout between Jenna and I. Yeah, that team.
This time the game was at their place. Jenna was firmly esconced right where she belonged, on the bench. We won 2-0. I even scored a goal, on a corner kick. Torie kicked it out of the corner, right to me, and I slammed it home.
It was such a relief to finally win a game. Though I wasn\rquote t going to soon forget a soccer season where my team finished 1-17. I hoped I never had to go through \b that\b0 ever again!
Next year, we\rquote d be better. We\rquote d have a season under our belts, we\rquote d all be a year older, and we\rquote d have Tiffany.
-----------
School was getting better. I wasn\rquote t the school pariah anymore. However, I still didn\rquote t seem to be attracting all that much in the way of male attention.
I probably could\rquote ve gotten Darren Walker to hit the pods with me. However, at that moment I was looking for a little variety. Having finally gotten laid twice in two days at the end of November, I wasn\rquote t going crazy or anything anymore. I figured if I really got hard up, I could hitch up with Darren again. But first I was looking for some variety.
I didn\rquote t really find anything at school. Like I said, I wasn\rquote t attracting a lot of that kind of attention.
On a Saturday in December, a couple of weeks before Christmas, I decided to head to the local mall. Dad dropped me off and we set a time for him to pick me up. I had to do some Christmas shopping, but I also had to do some shopping for myself. I needed shoes. I needed a new pair of sneakers, plus I needed a decent pair of dress shoes, for the soccer team banquet and some Christmas family stuff. Dad liked to dress up and go out for dinner on Christmas Eve.
There was a good shoe store in the mall so, after doing some of my Christmas shopping, that\rquote s where I headed. This was, as I said, a good shoe store. It was one of the ones where you sit down and an employee brings the shoes out and helps you try them on. No self-service Walmart shoe department, in other words.
I picked out a few I wanted to try on, and sat down. One of the employees quickly came over to me--and, boy, was he a \b hunk\b0 ! Oooh, I figured this might be extra fun!
\ldblquote Can I help you?\rdblquote he said.
\ldblquote You sure can. I\rquote d like to try these,\rdblquote I said, and pointed out the ones I\rquote d picked out.
\ldblquote Sure thing. You know your size?\rdblquote I told him, and he went to get the shoes.
He came back, and pulled out a set of dress shoes. \ldblquote Let\rquote s see how these fit,\rdblquote he said, and bent over to put them on me.
Now, I was clothed. Going nude at the mall wasn\rquote t strickly forbidden, but it wasn\rquote t done much. Plus, it was cold out. So, no, I wasn\rquote t nude, I had clothes on. Of course, my set of clothes included a skirt.
And I \b wasn\rquote t\b0 wearing underwear.
When he bent over to put the shoes on me, I made sure my legs were apart, just slightly. Just enough for him to get a little glimpse. Which he definitely did--I saw him glance up, and then he swallowed heavily. Bingo!
He put the shoes on me--these were the dress shoes--glancing up between my legs the whole while. After he got them on, I got up to walk around and try them out. \ldblquote These are perfect, I\rquote ll take them,\rdblquote I told him.
\ldblquote Great,\rdblquote he said. \ldblquote You want to try the sneakers now?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Yeah, let\rquote s start with that pair, Sean,\rdblquote I said, grinning as I read his name from his name tag.
\ldblquote OK,\rdblquote he said with a wry grin.
\ldblquote I\rquote m Amber, by the way,\rdblquote I told him.
\ldblquote Nice to meet you, Amber.\rdblquote He kneeled in front of me again, and started putting on one of the two pairs of sneakers I had suggested. I could see his eyes glancing up between my legs again. \ldblquote So, Amber,\rdblquote he finally said, \ldblquote do you always go out without panties on?\rdblquote
\ldblquote I usually go out without much on,\rdblquote I told him, \ldblquote considering I go to WRA.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Ah, Naked High,\rdblquote he said with a grin. \ldblquote So you\rquote re overdressed today.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Pretty much,\rdblquote I laughed.
\ldblquote Wait a minute,\rdblquote he said. \ldblquote I thought they only had freshmen there this year,\rdblquote he said. I nodded. \ldblquote How old are you?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Fourteen.\rdblquote
He almost swallowed his tongue at that! \ldblquote Uh, wow, you look older.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Hey, it\rquote s legal, right? How old are you?\rdblquote I asked him.
\ldblquote Nineteen,\rdblquote he said. \ldblquote How do those sneakers feel?\rdblquote I got up and walked around the shoe store in them a bit.
\ldblquote They feel fine, but let me try the other pair,\rdblquote I said. I sat back down and he took the first pair off, and put on the other one. Of course, he looked up again. \ldblquote You shave?\rdblquote he said.
\ldblquote Yeah. Just started. It\rquote s \b very\b0 fun,\rdblquote I purred.
\ldblquote Uh-huh,\rdblquote he grinned. By then he had the other pair of sneakers on and I walked around in them. I had the money, so I decided to take both, plus the dress shoes. As he was gathering the boxes up to ring me up, I glanced at my watch. \ldblquote Six O\rquote clock, I need to get supper.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Are you staying here for supper?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Yes, my Dad\rquote s picking me up at 9:30. I still have Christmas shopping to do.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Really? I get off at eight,\rdblquote he told me.
\ldblquote Hmm, really?\rdblquote I said with a little grin. He rang me up and I paid for the shoes. \ldblquote Nice to meet you, Sean. Maybe we\rquote ll see more of each other,\rdblquote I hinted.
\ldblquote I would like that,\rdblquote he said.
I went and ate, then did my shopping. At eight o\rquote clock, I made my way back to the shoe store. What the hell, right?
He was quite happy to see me. Hey, he knew what I wanted. And I knew what he wanted. After a bit of small talk, that was apparent. The question was, where? Even in the more sexualized atmosphere nowadays, fucking in the middle of the mall \b is\b0 a wee bit gauche.
Luckily, Sean had a solution for that. He led me through this maze in the walls of the mall, behind his store. He opened a door and let me in. \ldblquote Storage room,\rdblquote he said. \ldblquote And neither of those guys working has the key.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Oooh, you\rquote re a smart man,\rdblquote I said.
He grinned, and then started kissing me. I kissed him back enthusiastically.
\ldblquote Are you sure you\rquote re only fourteen?\rdblquote he said.
\ldblquote We grow up fast now, where have you been?\rdblquote I giggled, then kissed him again. He ran his hands up and down my body as he kissed me, then he maneuvered me over to a side of the cluttered room.
There was a desk there. The desk even had a nice, clean blanket spread over the top of it. I was guessing that we weren\rquote t the first people to use this storage room for a little fun!
Sean kissed me, with me up against the desk. Then he abruptly picked me up by the hips and hoisted me onto the desk. I giggled at that. Before the giggle even died, Sean was on his knees hiking my skirt up to my hips and diving right in. I squealed! You got to love a guy that doesn\rquote t waste any time before he goes for the pussy lashing!
He backed off for a second and said, \ldblquote I had to resist doing this while I was putting your shoes on your feet.\rdblquote Then he dove right back in. And, boy, he was good at it! I had gotten lucky so far with lovers that knew how to do oral. If I ever had a guy that I had to \lquote train\rquote at oral, I think I\rquote d be flummoxed!
No such worries with Sean, he was wonderful. As an added bonus, his tongue was \b long\b0 . I mean, he got it right up inside me. That felt nice and good, getting a good couple inches of tongue up my pussy. He worked me up nicely with that for a while, then went for the clit.
OK, he was definitely good at this! His tongue massaged my clit like Itzhak Perlman bowing his Stradivarius. Hell, I think I was making noises like Itzhak Perlman\rquote s Stradivarius. Well, less in tune!
Oh, it was marvelous. It was like his tongue was all over my pussy. I came in a hurry.
As soon as I had cum, he stood up in front of me. I saw him undoing his pants. \ldblquote You are protected?\rdblquote he asked.
\ldblquote Of course,\rdblquote I gasped, still coming down from the cum. He pushed my skirt back out of the way and slid into me. It was pretty easy considering how wet I was!
He started slow. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders as he stood in front of me, slowly slipping in and out of me. After a bit, he sped up. I was completely ready for it. I went again just as soon as he picked up the pace. Shortly thereafter, he exploded into me.
He kind of slumped on the floor afterwards, catching his breath. I got myself together, and pulled some kleenex out of my purse to clean up my pussy some. Then I hopped of the desk, leaned over and kissed him. \ldblquote Thanks. That was fantastic.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Thank you,\rdblquote he replied. I started heading out of the storeroom. \ldblquote Amber!\rdblquote he called. \ldblquote How can I get in touch with you?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Don\rquote t worry, I know where to find you,\rdblquote I said with a laugh. Then I was gone.
I have \b never\b0 felt that naughtly in my life!
----------
It was only afterwards, in the next few days and weeks, that I began to have second thoughts. Not that I regretted it, really--but I had some doubts.
Part of that was watching the unfolding drama of Connor and Tan. Or, as Jordan called them, The Sickenly Sweet Goo-Goo Lovebirds.
Tan and I had patched things up after Rosa and Justin and I did. Tan apologized, Connor was never really the problem, so that was that. I guess I was just in a forgiving mood.
Anyhow, they started eating with us, so we saw the lovebird thing on full display. Now, we gave them shit. Good natured-shit, mind you, and that\rquote s the way they took it. It wasn\rquote t malicious. But they were really into one another and we teased them about it.
But, inside, I was just a wee bit jealous.
Here they were, eyes only for each other--and I\rquote d been with three different guys in a couple of weeks.
Jordan, of course, thought that I had it right; that Tan was getting into a Big Relationship at 14 when she should be having some fun. Part of me understood that. I \b did\b0 say I wanted variety. But part of me was jealous.
The problem was Sean. Look, Mike was special. And Darren and I were friends--we still were, we\rquote d chatted on the phone a couple of times since we had sex, and I had let him escort me to the soccer banquet. We didn\rquote t do anything--we couldn\rquote t, I was having The Monthly--but we were friends. So, you know, going to bed with a friend was OK.
It was Sean. I slept with a guy I had just met. I wasn\rquote t sure if I liked myself doing stuff like that.
Then again, I didn\rquote t regret it. If I went back in time faced with that situation again, I\rquote d probably do the same thing.
I guess you could say I was confused.
I liked sex, I knew that. No question about it. But I found myself wanting more.
I wanted a boyfriend.
-----------
Christmastime was approaching. I liked Christmas anyhow, though I missed Boston. It\rquote s supposed to \b snow\b0 at Christmas, dammit! But I liked Christmas in any case.
This year, as last, there was an added bonus--Lily coming home for Christmas break. And not just Lily, Mike. And not just Lily and Mike, but all of their friends.
Lily had always been the perfect Big Sister. She \b never\b0 made me feel unwelcome around her and her friends. She never treated me like an annoying pest, though I\rquote m sure I \b was\b0 one quite a bit. She always welcomed my company. So, her friends were my friends. I liked all of them.
Amanda and Jared were home from Princeton, and they spent a night at our house, chatting and talking, telling us all about Princeton and even asking me all about Naked High. A couple of days after that, I saw Frankie and Cassie over Frankie\rquote s house. Besides being Lily\rquote s friends, they were also Rosa and Tan\rquote s siblings, so I\rquote d always seen them. The rest of them trickled in from their colleges in the week before Christmas.
On Christmas Eve, Mom and Dad opened the house to them all. All of Lily\rquote s friends were invited, as were Tan and Rosa. Tan brought Connor. Since Maggie was coming as well to hang out, I made sure Joe was invited as well. Jordan had something to do, but Tiffany came, as did Moose.
I hung out with my friends, and with Lily\rquote s. After a while, though, I noticed someone missing, and it was someone very special to me.
He slipped in a few hours into the party. He went and said hello to his friends for a bit. When he got to the couch, coke in hand, that\rquote s when I went over to him.
\ldblquote Ed Bauer, where the hell have you been?\rdblquote
\ldblquote If it isn\rquote t my pint-sized naked girlfriend!\rdblquote he yelped. He got off the couch and gave me a huge hug.
You have to understand--if Mike was my first crush, Eddie was 1A. That time I got nude with Mike and Lily at the school carnival when I was eleven, we ran into Eddie as we got inside the carnival, and Eddie decided his mission for the rest of the day was to make sure I had a good time. He was wonderful. I\rquote d been half in love with him since. Yeah, he was too old for me, I knew that, whatever--but he still had a place in my heart, and always will. He\rquote d treated me like gold since the day I met him.
We chatted for a while, he asked all about Naked High. I even told him about some of my sexual exploits. He seemed, however, to not be willing to tell me much about his life. I\rquote d asked how things were going, and he\rquote s say, \ldblquote fine,\rdblquote and change the subject.
Ed was a comedian, that was his personality, and, on the surface, he was his usual jovial self. However, I saw something underneath. I didn\rquote t find out what was going on, though, until I asked what I thought was an innocuous question.
\ldblquote So, where the hell is Natalie?\rdblquote Nat had been his girlfriend for almost as long as Mike and Lily had been together.
I obviously asked the wrong question, because Ed got a very sour look on his face. \ldblquote Vail,\rdblquote he said.
\ldblquote Colorado, you mean?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Yes. She\rquote s on a ski trip.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Why aren\rquote t you?\rdblquote
\ldblquote I wasn\rquote t invited,\rdblquote he said bitterly. \ldblquote In fact, it was made clear that my presence was not welcome.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Isn\rquote t she your girlfriend?\rdblquote I asked.
\ldblquote At the moment. We\rquote re going to have a little discussion on that when we get back to school. I think it\rquote s pretty much over.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Jeez, Ed, I always thought you two were perfect for one another!\rdblquote
\ldblquote Someone should tell Natalie that.\rdblquote
\ldblquote What happened?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Ah, you don\rquote t want to hear this.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Ed. You have \b always\b0 been there for me, even though I was Lily\rquote s bratty kid sister. You can tell me anything.\rdblquote
He smiled, and then sighed. \ldblquote You know how smart Natalie is.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Yeah.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Well, when we got to Chapel Hill last year, she started to find her niche. She was smart and an art major, so she quickly attracted a group of intellectual-types to hang out with. At first I thought this was great.
\ldblquote However, it\rquote s become apparent over the past year and a half that they all do not like me. Look, I know I\rquote m not in Natalie\rquote s league when it comes to brains. But these people have her convinced I\rquote m a complete dumb jock who only got into the hallowed halls of UNC because of my baseball scholarship.
\ldblquote This really started last spring, when baseball season started. Some of these people are really anti-sports. They thought that a smart artistic girl like Natalie going out with a baseball player is just horrible.
I kind of weather it while we were home this past summer. But when we got back to school, they really started in on her.
This cabin they\rquote re staying in at Vail, well, it\rquote s owned by the family of this guy, Phil. He\rquote s probably my biggest detractor. And I think he has designs on Nat. I mean, half of the guys in that crowd do, you know how beautiful she is. She swears nothing\rquote s going on. Actually, I believe her--but I wonder if that\rquote s going to change while she\rquote s in Colorado.
\ldblquote Anyhow, she told me a few weeks ago that Phil had invited a bunch of them to go to Vail for Christmas. I understand why she wouldn\rquote t necessarily want to come back here--her mother keeps falling off the wagon.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Yeah, I\rquote d heard that,\rdblquote I told him.
\ldblquote So, when she told me she wanted to go to Vail for break, I said something like meeting her out there after I spent some time here with my folks. That\rquote s when she told me I wasn\rquote t invited, that Phil didn\rquote t want me there.\rdblquote
\ldblquote What did you do?\rdblquote I asked him.
\ldblquote Well, I told her that I didn\rquote t think that was very fair. That we were going out and we should spend some of break together. She just doesn\rquote t care. And then some of them came to pick her up while I was still in her room, and I had to put up with them gloating at me, especially that weasel Phil.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Have you talked to her since she\rquote s been out there?\rdblquote
\ldblquote She called last night. She\rquote s been gone a week, mind you. She finally called. She was all lovey-dovey. But when she said that she had to sneak calling me because Phil told her not to, I snapped a little bit. This wasn\rquote t a money thing--she called me from her cell phone so she was paying for it, it wasn\rquote t like she was using the phone at Phil\rquote s cabin. So, I told her that if she thought that Phil had the right to tell her to not call her \b boyfriend\b0 , then we had a problem.\rdblquote
\ldblquote What did she say to that?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Excuses,\rdblquote Ed spat. \ldblquote I just wanted to wait until I got away from them, blah blah blah. Keep in mind I\rquote ve left four messages on her cell before she called. So, I told her to come home.\rdblquote
\ldblquote And she refused.\rdblquote
\ldblquote Yep. So I told her that her actions were not conducive to us maintaining our relationship.\rdblquote
\ldblquote What did she say to that?\rdblquote
\ldblquote Got all weepy. She loves me, yadda yadda yadda. But, Amber, she really does treat me like shit. This Vail trip is just the tip of the iceberg. Her friends sit there and insult me and she just smiles. Then tells me I shouldn\rquote t let them \lquote get under my skin.\rquote\rdblquote
\ldblquote Shit. You deserve better than that,\rdblquote I told him.
\ldblquote You always cheer me up,\rdblquote he said with a laugh. \ldblquote But I know it. When we get back to school, there\rquote s gonna be a confrontation.\rdblquote
\ldblquote You have my number if you need to vent.\rdblquote
\ldblquote I know, kiddo. It\rquote s appreciated.\rdblquote
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OK, so maybe I \b didn\rquote t\b0 want a boyfriend quite so badly. That talk with Ed wasn\rquote t too encouraging. One of the most solid relationships I\rquote d ever seen and it was breaking apart. I always thought those two would be discussing wedding plans, not breakups.
It was rather depressing, and made me even more confused.
Christmas was good. It was nice to have Lily home. And the one fear I had about Mike--that, after sleeping together, things between us would be somewhat awkward--didn\rquote t come true at all. He was the same ol\rquote Mike.
Tan threw a New Year\rquote s Eve party, and I was invited to this one. It was a great time.
New Years\rquote Day, I spent with Joe, swapping the journals. He had a rather interesting month himself, and was if anything more confused than I. We had a nice long talk about it.
Then I got ready for the new year and the return to Naked High.