I was in love. Totally, completely, out of my mind in love. Never before had I felt such great pleasure simply of being on another's presence, and without there being some sexual aspect to it at that. True, I did find her soul, personality, and yes, even her body sexy. But as far as I could tell, Jennifer was completely uninterested in sex, and I was determined that if anything sexual happened between us, she would be the one to initiate it, not me.

The more time we spent together, the closer we became, and by the time Christmas came around, we were as close as any two people could be without there being anything sexual between us. We had only kissed those two times since our balloon ride, and even though her face always lit up when she saw me, I was starting to feel a little... unappreciated as she had never once repeated one of my claims of love to me.

In fact, she had rarely thanked me for any of my gifts, never once paid me a compliment, not even anything simple like "I like your hair," or something silly like that. Oh, I knew she adored me, and she had finally grown accustomed to receiving my hugs and other forms of physical affection, but it was very rare for her to return any of the feelings I expressed to her.

But then Christmas day arrived. I went over to her house around noon, finding Jennifer and her sister outside with Lee's newest boyfriend as he showed off a new pair of speakers in his low riding pickup truck. I swear I could hear the base of that thing two blocks away, for this guy's cab was probably pumping a thousand watts of sound out, causing every window on the street to rattle and shake.

"!!" Jennifer yelled at the top of her lungs three feet away.

"WHAT?" I screamed back.

"! !!!! HI!" she hollered just as the song ended.

"Oh," I said as she giggled at herself.

"Did you ge," she began before the next song blasted the rest of the words away.

After commanding the deaf jerk to turn his noise polluter down, I didn't bother hiding my irritation when I said "Thank you. God, how can you stand it that loud?"

"What wasn't loud," the guy said with a grin. "This is loud.."

Both he and Lee covered their ears after he hit the power amps maximum setting, then it took me a moment to realize their mouths were open because they were screaming even though I couldn't hear it.

I gave Jennifer a nudge after she finished joining in their silent screaming, then motioned towards her house when she looked at me. She tried to tell her sister that she was going inside, but after it became obvious this was futile, she just skipped over to me like a little child, then accepted my hand as I walked her back towards her rattling front door.

"Wasn't that really neat?" she asked me once we had the door safely closed behind us.

"I guess," I said, noticing there wasn't any wrapped presents left under the tree. "So, did you get anything good?"

"I got this gorgeous dress for church, and a portable stereo with dual cassettes, and.. uhm... What did you get?"

"I got a computer. I don't know much about them, but I think it is supposed to be the top of the line. It's a Macintosh I think. It's pretty neat. I bet Joey would love... never mind about what I got...

"Merry Christmas," I said as I pulled the little box out of the back of my shirt.

"Eww... I wondered if you got me anything," she said as she anxiously took the box and tore into it.

"Wow..." she added when she finally got it open. "It's... pretty."

"Do you like it?" I asked.

"Uh huh. Do you want me to put it on now?"

"Please?"

"Hold this then," she said, handing me the empty box, then raising the necklace up to the light.

"Do you see them?" I asked as she gazed up into the balloon shaped crystals which hung from the silver necklace.

"Yes," she whispered in awe. "There's... Hearts? And cupids? And.. something else, floating around inside them. I've never seen anything like it before."

"They're supposed to be roses.. and it's the only one ever to be made. I had a dream one night, and that's the result. The guy who made it for me wanted to sell the idea, but.. let's just say I convinced him otherwise."

"Wow. The only one? Thank you. I've never had an original before," she said, finally putting it on.

"It looks beautiful on you," I said with false awe. "I knew it would, but still.."

"Come and see what I have in my room," she said, taking my hand and pulling me towards her room.

"Wait a sec," I said with some confusion. "What about me?"

"Oh, sorry..." she said, letting go of my hand.

When she saw I was waiting for something, she frowned, then slapped her forehead saying, "Oh! I know what you want!"

After carefully watching her sister drag her boyfriend in and down the hall to her room, she gave me a peck on the lips then stood back with a proud expression all over her face.

"Is that it?" I said, unable to hide my disappointment.

"I guess so," she said doubtfully. "Did you want one on the cheek too?"

"You mean... After all the things we've shared, the places we've gone, the time we've spent together, didn't you even think of getting ME something for Christmas? I mean, you knew I would get you something..."

"Yes, but.. I..." she said confused.

"What? Tell me. Tell me why you never... never... give me anything back?"

"I... I don't have any money," she stuttered.

"I know you don't, and I never expected you to buy me anything."

"But then what? ... You don't mean..." she said when her mother's words came to mind.

"No, I don't," I said stiffly before turning around and heading towards the door.

"Where are you going?" she demanded. "Come back and tell me!"

I hesitated a moment before turning the door knob to leave, having heard just a hint of sorrow in her voice. But when she exclaimed, "Well?" I nearly hit myself with the door I yanked so hard, then promptly slammed it behind me.

"Tim!" Jennifer's voice whined from the door just as I was reaching my car. "Tim, please come back! I'm sorry! I'm sorry for not getting you a present!"

"All I ever wanted from you was for you to show some kind of tenderness, or appreciation, or SOMETHING on your own that said I mattered to you more than just what I did or gave you!" I sobbed loudly, the sound of my own voice shocking me into realizing my emotions were nearly overcoming my self control.

"Good bye, Jennifer," I said getting in my car, slamming that door too for effect.

I suppose because I had always ended my good byes with the three most powerful words I knew, Jennifer must have figured out what I had really wanted for Christmas. For when I was just starting to pull away, Jennifer suddenly threw herself on my hood while crying desperately "I love you!"

I was so shocked I nearly killed her when I forgot to steer around Lee's boyfriend's pickup.

I leapt from my car and rushed up to her motionless body laying against the pickup and on top of my hood. Ever so tenderly I rolled her onto her back, then after a few moments of complete terror passed, her eyes flickered open while she struggled to again say, "I love you."

The strain of resisting my desire to gather her up into my arms was almost too much, but my self control prevailed long enough to probe her body's senses and determine her state of health.

"No broken bones, and besides a slight concussion, you're okay," I reported.

"I love you," she repeated again.

"I love you too," I said, climbing onto the hood beside her. "I'm sorry, baby. I never meant to hurt..."

"I know.." she said weakly as she tried to roll towards me better.

She started to shiver almost violently at that point, for she had run out of the house without a coat, and between the tears on her cheeks and the shock from impact, she was thoroughly chilled.

"I-I-I'mmmmm c-c-c-cold," she said while her teeth began to chatter.

I took her in my arms and slid us off the hood as fast as I could, then managed to grab the blanket from my back seat to wrap around us after having felt how cold just simply moving in that frigid air could be.

I didn't hesitate in commanding her sister to rush and open the door just before I got us there, and then I commanded Lee to help me get her in bed seeing that it would the warmest place for her to be.

I had never been in her room before, and once we were both safely under the covers with the electric blanket on high, I suddenly noticed the bulletin board which was overflowing with things about... well, me.

News articles, pictures, my poems, and probably every piece of wrapping paper that I had used to wrap her gifts in were on there too. Every one of these things had been cut into or pasted onto a heart shape of some sort, and if I had simply seen this before... Well, it was just so much more than what I had been looking for, I couldn't believe the mistake I had made.

"I love you so much, my sweet Jennifer," I said hugging her tightly against me with tears in my eyes. "I'm sorry I ever thought you didn't feel anything for me."

"But you were right," she said in a soft voice, yet clearly stronger than before. "I haven't been giving you anything back. But I promise I will for now on. I guess I was just afraid.."

"Afraid? Afraid of what?" I said before giving her neck a gentle kiss.

"Afraid of what it would sound like, I think. I don't know," she said before closing her eyes and relaxing against me more.

"You know what I think?" I said while giving her little kisses from her neck to her ear without it occurring to me that I shouldn't be doing that. "I think you have to start believing in yourself and stop being so afraid of showing your true self."

"I know," she sighed. "But with you being so perfect..."

"Perfect?" I laughed. "Who says I'm perfect?"

"I do," she said. "You're smart, you're popular, you... you look good. And you're the nicest sweetest person I've ever known, so I guess I..."

"You what?" I said softly, feeling very comfortable with her in my arms like she was.

But when I gave her cheek a few more small kisses, she said, "You're making me hot. Can we get up now?"

She hadn't intended the double meaning to her statement even though I sensed that my caresses and kisses had indeed aroused her if only slightly.

"Jennifer, are you afraid of me?" I said as I backed off and got up into a sitting position.

"No, why would..." she began as she started to sit up herself then laid back down faintly. "I don't think I want to get up."

"Just lay there then, sweetie. So, do you trust me? I mean... <sigh> Never mind."

"No, go ahead. I'll answer this time, no matter what it is."

"Then I'll ask you what's really on my mind. Ever since I've known you, you've made it clear you're not ready to have any kind of sex. And that's cool with me, really. But any time I try to show you how much I love you in a physical way, you shy away from it and... What's the matter?"

"You..."

"You said you'd answer this time, now spit it out."

She sighed miserably, but then stuttered, "You don't think I'm... sexy?"

"<sigh> Jennifer, if I didn't love you so much... Yes! I think you're sexy! Do you think I'd go out with a girl who repulsed me?"

"I.. I don't know," she said looking at me with a different look in her eyes. "My sister is so... and I'm so..."

"Jennifer, I think its time for me to share something with you that I've been waiting for the right moment for. I can't think of a better way to prove to you how I feel, so..."

"I don't think this is a.." she said nervously as I laid down beside her and turned her towards me.

"Trust me," I whispered. "All you have to do is look me straight in the eyes, then just let it happen."

"Let what happen?" she said just before that feeling of familiarity between us formed.

As the empathic link grew in strength, I began sensing the deep dark fears which ruled her emotional plane trying to overcome what I was sharing with her. With some slight difficulty I managed to wash those fears away for the moment, then let her explore the sensations on her own without any direction on my part.

The empathic encounter only lasted a few minutes, but it was enough to satisfy both of our suspicions and doubts, and then she gave me her first truly sensual kiss on the lips, one that while not involving any tongue was still long and wet.

I suppose I got a little carried away when I rolled her onto her back with myself laying on top of her. She didn't resist or anything, but when she felt the stiffness in my crotch against her upper thigh, she got a little scared and tried to get out from under me.

"I'm sorry, baby. I shouldn't have.." I began.

"It's okay," she said, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. "I just had never... you know."

"Jennifer," I said in a concerned and serious tone. "While we're on the subject and all, I think you should know that... Well, I'm not..."

"I know you're not," she admitted.

"You do?"

"Christine told me her sister... That you and her... Had sex."

"Christine's sister," I said staring off into space, trying to place who that was. "What's her sister's name?"

"Heather," she said weakly. "Have you... been with a lot of girls?"

I looked at her hurt face, then looked her straight in the eyes and immediately felt the connection form.

"I not going to lie to you so.. yes, I've had sex with a lot of girls. I cared about every one of them, and it's important to me that I do. Many of them I made love to, not just had sex. And just for the record, I won't make love with you until if and when you say you want to and you prove to me you really do. I love you, and I hope you can trust me not to try and rush you."

"I'm only fourteen," she said unhappily. "I promised my mom I would stay... you know... a... a..."

"Virgin," I said for her.

"A virgin until I was married, and my dad said I'd have to be at least eighteen before that could happen. My mom and dad got married when they were eighteen."

"I understand," I said with all the love and tenderness I could send her. "I can wait as long as you need me to."

"Really?" she said with some joy springing into her voice. "Then you won't do it with anyone until we get married?"

"Uh.." I said, taken aback. "I didn't quite mean it like..."

"Oh," she said, her feelings hitting the floor.

"Jennifer, please don't ask me to promise you something I can't keep. I said I cared for every one of those girls I had sex with, so all I can promise is that I continue to do it like that. I love you more than the heavens and Earth combined, and I can't imagine finding someone else who I'd love even a little bit while I'm feeling this for you. But I've shared my love with others before, and I may want to do so again. But you have to understand that just because I make love to others doesn't mean I don't love you just as much as I do now."

"But.." she said weepingly. "But why can't you just wait?"

"I.." I said, feeling my mixed emotions battling for control.

"Please Tim? I promise, the day I turn eighteen, we can get married and have all the sex you want? Please? I love you, and I don't want to ever be without you. I'm afraid.. I'm afraid someone else might steal you. Please promise? Please?"

Her tears, or more like her raw emotions were more than enough to end the battle within me.

"I promise, my love. I promise."

SLAM! Clang! Clink! went the cell door, effectively imprisoning me into what would be the most stressing promise I had ever made.