High school sucks. I know I'm not the first person to say that, hell I'm probably not even in the first hundred thousand but it still sucks. You're either one of the beautiful people or you're a freak or you're a nothing. I'm somewhere in between freak and nothing. I guess you could say I'm freaking nothing!
Okay, but my therapist says self hatred is unhealthy. So Iet's try a different approach. I like this guy. He's long haired and beautiful with perfect blue eyes. And everyday I promise myself I'm just going to talk to him, y'know like a normal person, and see if he wants to hang out sometime. And everyday, like clockwork, like Old faithful by the hour, I either lose my nerve or end up stammering out something stupid and slipping away. He's really cool about it, always saying my name and giving a polite little wave when he sees me. But that's it. Cool, y'know. Not like, hey give me your number hot, or even talk to ya later kind of warm, just cool. Which sucks. Like all of high school.
I mean first there's all these tests. And then there's homework. And then there's track. Which lasts till about 5:30 and is completely exhausting. I mean have you ever ran 5 miles? Ever? Try every day, and have it timed. And little games. Like there's strategy to long distance running. You just run, and if you have any spare energy you pray for it to end. But I'm just bitching. Really! I love running, and I love my coach. Coach Kuras. He's the best.
Once in a school newspaper they asked him what he thought the difference was between long distance runners and sprinters. He said "Long distance runners are more disciplined athletes, better looking and destined by God to lead better lives than sprinters." He is so Cool! He's an old guy, in his fifties though my Mom says that isn't so old, and he's never even run a lap that I've seen but he knows everything about long distance running and conditioning. Which of course leads him to abuse us every afternoon. I end up paying more attention in class hoping it will last forever, or at least a little longer before practice starts.
Of course it doesn't help that my last class has him in it. Y'know, Michael. The guy I was telling you about with the blond hair and the blue eyes. And he's got really beautiful hands. All soft, with really long fingers. I think about those hands moving all over my body sometimes in class. I get really distracted and my hands kind of slides into my pants without my noticing. Sometimes the teacher calls on me, when I've got my eyes half closed and this dreamy smile on my face. Then it's like, "who, me sir? Watt?" That kind of thing. And everybody turns around and laughs. He doesn't though. He just kind of smiles, like y'know he's with me and it's all the rest that are stupid. That's my favourite part of the day when it happens. When he smiles at me like that. It's what I think about when I'm running a really tough workout, like when he gives a head start to the weaker runners and the varsity have to catch them before three miles are completed. I just think about his smile and let my legs do what they have to do.
Every runners got a secret to get him through. For some it's a mantra. My friend Sherman's mantra is "moo moo, cow, cow." That's what he says to himself the whole freaking race. "Moo, moo, cow, cow." I mean is that weird or what? I don't get it, but if it works for him that's cool.
But today it's a race, and a big one. Four schools are competing at once and my race isn't up till the end of the meet. And there's people selling hot dogs and stuff, but I can't eat till after the race. Not if I don't want to barf, y'know. And there's some people selling school stuff, and my Mom's in the stands somewhere. But I can't sit with her cause that would be the death of my chances of ever being cool so I'm walking around. And there's this one booth set up with a short guy with brown hair behind the booth. He's older, like in his twenties and there's another guy with him tall and gangly with this unkempt blond hair. He looks kind of like Kramer, only blond, y'know?
"Hey kid." The brown haired guys calls out, and he's got like this really soft voice but it carries y'know. So I go over to him. "Wazzup?" I ask him. He kind of winces when I say that, but that's kind of cool so I smile at him.
"You want to buy a love potion?" he asks me. Okay, slow down, sudden detour into weirdsville I'm thinking.
"I'm sorry. I thought you were normal. I've got to go." And I start to walk away.
"Wait kid, hold on." And he's got this great voice like I said, and I'm already turning around before I even think about it. "I know it sounds weird, and okay maybe it is. But if you were selling love potions, wouldn't high school kids be the perfect crowd to sell it to."
Now okay maybe I'm a kid but that doesn't make me stupid. "Nooo, I watch sex and the city. Wouldn't it be better to sell it to thirtysomethings? They have more money and they're lonelier."
"Okay, sure kid that's true. But half of them are lawyers and I can't exactly guarantee these things. Sometimes they work and sometimes they don't. I can't afford a lawsuit, besides I'm not sure it's exactly legal to sell love potions."
"So you're admitting you want to sell me something that might not be legal."
"Look kid, you don't have to buy. You just got the look of someone pining for someone they can't have. Am I right?"
Well he had me there. "Sure, but you've even said those don't always work. Why should I buy something that might not even do anything?"
He just smiled at me and said "Because it might." But then I had to run off because I heard first call for the 2 mile over the loud speaker. I ran off.
"She'll be back." I heard the guy say to his friend.
So I've got a comfortable lead in the race by the end of the first mile. 4 more laps to go and I'm still arguing with myself. Should I buy it, or shouldn't I. Is it even right to use a love potion on someone. And what if it doesn't do anything? And what if it does? And how would I administer it? Could I really, when I can't even talk to him without sounding stupid, ask him if he wants to take a sip of a spiked coke? I'm so distracted I barely notice that a girl from another team has passed me. At least that focuses my concentration for the rest of the race.
It's the last straightaway of the last lap and I'm kicking it in for all I'm worth and so is she. I pull ahead of her, then she pulls back even with me. Then I start to fall back. And I look up and Mom's cheering for me. And behind her I see blond hair framing two perfect blue eyes and he gives me that little wave. I use the jolt of energy that courses through my whole body and push it. I pull even with the girl in front of me, then I pass her just as we pass the finish line. I look up at the clock, it's my best time ever. I can't believe it. My coach is hugging me, and everyone is slapping me high fives. My Mom is yelling so loud I can hear her over the crowd and I look up and see Michael holding some other girl and my euphoria stops dead. I let people congratulate me a little longer, but as soon as I can slip away I do. I hope that potion costs less than ten dollars cause that's all I have with me.
"So how does this potion work?" I ask the guy. "You just slip it into what they're drinking and in about thirty seconds when it takes effect you make sure you're the first person they see and the first voice they hear. Then that person falls in love with you."
"How long does it last?"
"Till death or marriage, whichever comes first." I mull that one over for a bit. I guess I just won't marry him. Besides at our age you'd have to go down to West Virginia and I can't afford the bus faire.
I see from his dwindled supplies he's already sold quite a few. "Doing pretty good business." I tell him. He just nods and says "We're keeping one step ahead of the shoeshine." His partner smiles when he says that.
"Speaking of which" the blond guy says "we're two steps away from the county line."
So the short guy takes my money and tells his partner "Just trying to keep our customers satisfied."
I'm a little confused by the byplay but he hands me my potion. It's small, in a vial about two inches high and about the circumference of my middle finger. Meanwhile they're loading the contents of the booth into a van while I'm walking away. Over my shoulder I call out to them "What if it doesn't work?"
"Get him drunk." The blond one calls out, "It always works on me."
So I don't know what to do. Now that I have the freaking love potion, I have no idea how to administer it. Especially in a way where I'm the first voice he hears and the first person he sees. I'm fishing for inspiration watching all the movies with love potions and love spells in them. There's Bell, Book and Candle the old movie with Kim Novak and Jimmy Stewart. Then there's another old movie with Veronica Lake where she plays a hundreds of years old witch who slips the hero a love potion. I can't get any ideas from any of them.
All I can think about is that girl Michael was holding. I think she's a hurdler all muscular thighs and full breasts and a perfect ass. All I am is an overly tall, barely breasted, skinny legged nothing. What chance did I have? I turned over and sobbed into my pillow so I wouldn't make any noise. It must not have worked because I heard a gentle knocking at my door.
"Come in." I said through sniffles. My Mom walked in wearing just a robe. My Mom looks really good for her age. For any age really, a lot better than me. Long blond hair, full creamy breasts that showed over the top of her robe. I wish I had breasts like that. Hell, I wish I had breasts half as good as that. And she's got this killer smile. All white and shiny and makes me forget my problems for a little bit every time.
"Sara" she said in that way she does, as she came in and sat beside me on the bed. She started rubbing my back and telling me it would be okay till I stopped sniffling.
"What's the matter?" she asked me.
"Got a crush." I say like it's a fatal disease or something.
"On who?" And it all just comes rushing out. I tell her everything, about his blue eyes, and about the hurdler with her plump thighs and big breasts and stupid ass and how I saw him holding her and about what an idiot I am when I try and talk to him. Everything!
And she just listens. Mom's a really good listener. She's so nice and beautiful. And I'm such a nothing! And I tell her that I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment to her.
"Now stop that right now!" she yells at me. "You're not a disappointment. You're my very beautiful, very talented, slightly misguided daughter and I'm not going to listen to you run yourself down. So you like a guy who doesn't like you. Too bad for him. You'll just have to change that and it sounds like you're already started on that. Good for you. Do you think you're Dad liked me right off the bat?"
"Well, yeah." I said looking at how beautiful she is. My mom just giggled and leaned in conspiratorially and said real low. "You mean these?" She said pointing to her breasts. "Plastic surgery, 3 years after we were married."
"But what about your smile?"
"Before I married your father I had an overbite. Cosmetic dentistry can work miracles."
"Then how did you get Dad to marry you?" I asked her. "The same qualities you've inherited from me; intelligence, determination and willingness to work hard. Those are the only really worthwhile qualities in the long run anyway. Which brings me to the reason I stopped by, I'm very proud of the race you ran today. Your coach says you broke a school record. Now if you can do that wrapping a man around your little finger should be easy"
And I want to believe her. But it's hard. So she leans a little closer. "You trust me don't you?" She asks me. And she's so close I can see her beautiful green eyes. "Contacts." She whispers. "My eyes are really brown." And I'm giggling again and so is she. And she kisses me on the cheek and I can feel her breasts against my chest.
"What's it going to take to convince you that you're beautiful." She asks me. "Plastic surgery." I tell her.
"You don't need that." She says. And she nips me on the ear with her teeth. "Just look me in the eyes and see if your Mom is lying. Look." And I'm looking and I don't care if they really are contacts. My Mom has the most amazing green eyes I've ever seen.
"You're beautiful she says." And I almost believe her. "But I have no breasts I say."
"I beg to differ" she says and she cups them with her hands. Oh, wow. Okay maybe there something wrong with this but it's really hard to think staring into her green eyes, but that's okay because she tells me I don't have to. I can just look into her eyes and listen to her voice. My Mom has the greatest voice. Soft and coaxing like that guy who sold me the potion. Wow. Now she's straddling on top of me, her hands still cupping my breasts, pinching my small nipples. Oh god, OH GOD! Wow!
"Now, young lady, I would say those definitely count as breasts. What about these?" And she leans in and pushes her breasts against my face. Oh my god. They're so creamy and full, I take one of her rose bud nipples into my mouth. Her skin is so delicious as she keeps crooning gently into my ear. Telling me I'm beautiful and wonderful and the best daughter ever. And I feel a shudder and trembling build through my body. I've never felt anything like this, as my nipples tingle and heat builds between my legs. It's like they're lightbulbs bursting behind my eyes and I feel all tingly and numb all at once. My temperture feels like it's over a hundred degrees and my breathing is getting all trembly. I can sort of feel my Mom's hands between my legs as our bodies rub together. I bite hard on her nipple and hear her give a moan of surprise and pleasure. Then I can't help myself but scream as the sensation climaxes. "Aaaaarrrrggghhhhhhh! OH GOD! OH GOD! Aaaaaaahhhhhhh!"
"Are you two allright up there?" I hear my father shout.
"It's OK, dear, I'll be down in a second." My Mom calls down, her voice a little raggedy herself. Then I'm staring into her eyes again and my head feels a little fuzzy and I'm so tired. But I hear her tell me "You're the best daughter a Mother ever had."
And I'm blushing. Wow, I've never felt so proud in my life. My Mom's the best. And she really believes in me. Watch out Michael, here I come. Move aside hurdler, long distance runners are destined for greater things. Just ask my Coach!
I was waiting at my school with a Coke spiked with the love potion. Since my Mom had spoken to me I felt more confident than I ever had. He was hanging out in the hall with that girl, Celia. I hated her. But that's okay. I had things that were more important than big breasts or a great ass. I had depth.
"Hi Michael" I said without my voice breaking or blushing or anything.
"Hey Sara" he said and though my knees went all weak I didn't show it. "Great race yesterday. Congrats."
"Thanks, that means a lot. Hey the machine spat out an extra coke when I wanted a diet coke. You want it."
"Sure" he said. He got kind of an odd look when he realized there wasn't a pop when he opened it, meaning the seal had been broken. I just smiled at him, and I guess he decided I wasn't trying to poison him and took a big gulp. Celia was glaring at me, jealous I guess because she hadn't even placed in her race.
I waited a few seconds as she continued glaring at me and I said a quick prayer that this was one of those times the potion worked. Then I got in Celia's face. "What are you looking at? You got a problem with me?"
"Yeah, you skinny, flat chested bitch." She said getting back in my face. But still I could tell I'd caught her off guard.
"Don't call me a bitch!" And I shoved her as hard as I could. It caught her even more by surprise and she fell over. Then I grabbed Michael and pulled him to me. "Michael, please protect me." I said and I hoped I'd timed this right as I stared into his shocked and puzzled face. Then he looked at me and his eyes kind of softened and his lips curled into a tentative smile. "Uh Sara,.." he said nervously, stammering a little. "Yes Michael" I said encouragingly...
"Out of my way, I'm going to kill the little bitch!" said Celia barreling towards pushing Michael out of the way. She slapped me hard across the face and I fell down. I was looking up at her towering above me. Then Michael was pulling her away from me as she kicked and screamed.
"Just cool it, will you just cool it." She turned on him. "Why are you protecting this little bitch, huh?" She accused.
Then a guy pulled her off him. "C'mon calm down, this is a school not a circus. Why don't you come into my office and we'll talk about whether I should assign you detention or send you to the principles office?"
"She shoved me." She shouted at him. "Sure she did, why don't you just relax, have some water and calm down. He passed her his water bottle. She took a sip and went into the teacher's office. He had blond hair, and looked a little familiar. He gave me a thumb's up sign and a grin as if to say "Another satisfied customer."
Meanwhile Michael came over to me and helped me up. He extended his hand and I grabbed it while he pulled. And then pulled me straight into a big hug. He looked me right in the eye and said "I never realized how pretty you were Sara." I could tell he meant it from how he felt as he pressed against me.
"Do you like me Michael?" I asked him. He gave me a big grin and said yeah, he did. "Good" I told him. Then you can carry my books for me. I told him.
"Could I come over later?" He asked me hopefully. I just looked at him as if I was shocked. "What kind of girl do you think I am? If you carry my books around for a week I might let you take me out on a date. Maybe. But I'd better not see you even look at another girl. Do you understand?"
He nodded and gulped. And then just kind of stared hungrily at me. I felt a little bad so I stepped next to him and kissed him real soft on the neck. Then kissed a little higher, playing with his earlobe while I breathed in his ear. Then I rubbed one of my hands along his cock. "You understand a girl has to have rules don't you?" He nodded. Oh he was so sweet. I looked around and there didn't seem to be anyone else in the hall. And I had a few minutes before practice. I led him into one of the empty science rooms.
Up against a lab desk I asked him did he like me.
"Sara" he said "I've never felt about anybody like this. Just being around you makes me crazy. You're all I can think about. I want to hold you, and kiss you, I want..."
"Good." I said brightly and kissed him on the cheek. Once again I rubbed my hand over his cock. He moaned softly. Then I unzipped his zipper and dug through the opening in his boxers. Then out popped his cock. I never felt a man's cock before. It felt weird at first, all long and thin but it began to thicken as I held it. I stroked my fingers along the shaft and it began to twitch. Little drops of wetness began to form at the tip. I knelt down in front of him and looked at it. It had the same pale skin tone as Michaels face with dark hair that told me Michael bleached. I licked the tip of it and elicited another moan from Michael. Then I took it in my mouth, and it felt a little weird you know. But kind of good. I started to feel a familiar heat building between my legs but I couldn't remember why that felt familiar. I started to move my mouth back and forth, and feel it moving along my throat. I could hear Michael breathing heavy and I started to breath heavy myself over and around his cock. More and more drops started to form at the tip and I licked them off as quickly as they formed. They had an odd salty taste which I found I liked, which is weird because I usually don't like salt you know. But that's a good thing because suddenly a whole bunch of the stuff erupted in my mouth as Michael came. I held it all in my mouth for a second and then swallowed. It tasted a little weird. Then I felt his cock go all flaccid and bent as I held it in my hand. I let it go and stuffed it back in his boxers and then zipped it up.
He carried my books to practice and sat watching me in the stands. I don't know if he originally had other plans and I didn't ask him. He's been in the stands for all my practices and games all week. In fact Michael's been the best boyfriend I ever had. I brought him over the other day to meet Mom and Dad. Mom said she wanted to talk to him upstairs in private to get to know him. That sounded good to me. I wanted Mom and Michael to be close. Afterwards Mom said I had good taste in men.
No one's seen Celia in a long time. Word is she dropped out to become a roadie for a band. I don't know for sure myself, but I bet whatever she's doing she's trying to keep the customers satisfied.
I've been slandered
I've been libeled
I hear words I never heard in the bible
Simon and Garfunkel