Safety Warnings

Tying-up games are fun.  They are fantastic fun.  But fun can easily turn to tragedy when a person is helpless, especially when the person is also gagged.  Many of the stories told here involve very unsafe practices, such as leaving a bound and gagged person alone, often for hours at a time.

Please, for your own safety and for the safety of your friends, follow the rules set out below.  Tying-up games can never be totally safe, but if you follow these tips, fun will be much less likely to turn into tragedy.

1. Never leave a bound person alone or unable to communicate.
 

This is the safety warning which is most often ignored.  Although it is exciting to be bound and gagged, you are in great danger if you are left alone in that condition.  What if you began to choke?  How would you tell your friends?  The answer of course is that you couldn't.  You could die before they even realise that something is wrong.

What should you do?

a. Always have someone stay with the prisoner as safety monitor.  Make sure it is someone who understands the importance of continually monitoring the prisoner for signs of distress.  Make sure it is someone who can and will respond to that distress properly.  A prisoner can die in the short time it takes for the monitor to go to the toilet.  In this case, you will need two safety monitors so that there is always at least one person "on duty" as safety monitor.

b. Always arrange a safety signal which everyone in the game knows about and understands.  Make sure everyone knows that the safety signal is not part of the game and should only be used in a real emergency.  Make sure everyone knows that the safety signal must never be ignored by anyone.  Safety is not just the responsibility of the safety monitor.  It is everyone's responsibility.

If the prisoner is ungagged, the usual safety signal is for the prisoner to say "safeword".  If the prisoner is gagged, the normal safety signal is three of anything, repeated.  For example, the prisoner may grunt three times or click his fingers three times or thump his feet on the floor three times.  It does not matter what the action is, so long as it can be done three times and attracts the attention of the safety monitor.

c. Never ignore a safety signal.  If the prisoner keeps on using the safety signal just to get free when it isn't an emergency, refuse to allow that person to play the game.  Stick to that rule.  The safety signal is too important to be used when it's not needed.

If your prisoner is too securely gagged and begins to choke, he could easily die before you can get the gag off him, even if you respond to the safety signal immediately.

Cramps can happen with little warning and the pain can rapidly increase in intensity to the point of agony and can even cause muscle damage.

How do you deal with these potential problems?

a. Have sharp, blunt-ended scissors always nearby to cut the gag or ropes in an emergency.  Don't hesitate!  As soon as you know something is wrong, get that gag off your prisoner as quickly as you can!  It is better to shred your scarf or bandanna than it is to take the risk of killing your friend!  It's also better to ruin your mum's clothesline or your sister's jump rope than to injure or kill your prisoner.

b. See a.   I cannot emphasise enough just how important is is for you to respond quickly to the safety signal.

c. Make sure the key is always nearby in case of emergency if you use padlocked chains or handcuffs or anything else with a key.  Have a spare key in another location not far away in case the first key is somehow lost or mislaid.

Some methods of tying a person up are dangerous.

a. Never pretend-hang a person.  A pretend hanging, even if the prisoner has his feet firmly planted on the ground, can still result in death or injury if the prisoner trips or falls over.  Don't do it!

b. Never use a choking rope as part of the tying-up.  You may think it is a "clever" technique to tie your prisoner so that he chokes himself if he struggles, but it can very easily lead to the prisoner unintentionally killing himself. Don't do it!

c. Keep all tying away from the neck area.  Any time anything goes around a prisoner's neck, or passes over the front of the neck, there is potential for choking resulting in death.  Keep ropes in particular away from your prisoner's neck!

d. Don't tie your prisoner too tightly.  Tight ropes can cut off the circulation to hands or feet, which could cause damage.  In an extreme case, your friend could end up having to have his hands surgically amputated because they have been too badly damaged to ever recover, from the lack of blood flow.  It is possible to tie a person securely without cutting off circulation.

Some items are dangerous and, used in a tying-up game, can lead to injury or even death.

a. Avoid string like the proverbial plague!  String is thin.  It cuts into the skin of the prisoner, almost like the sharp edge of a knife.  Get yourself some proper rope (preferably soft cotton rope) instead.

b. Do not use baling twine.  While twine is probably easily available on a farm, it should be avoided unless you plan on cutting your prisoner free instead of untying him.  Twine is not designed to be untied once tied.  It is probably better to avoid using twine.

c. Don't use wire to tie anyone.  Wire has the same problems as string, plus you can't cut it as easily as string or rope in an emergency.

d. Be very careful with chains or handcuffs.  Metal does not flex the way rope does and so can cause serious injury more easily than rope.

e. Be careful what you use as mouth packing.  Avoid anything with loose fibres or threads, such as a frayed rag or cotton wool.  These pose a choking hazard and can lead to death.

f. Similarly, be aware of what your proposed mouth packing was used for before you got it.  For example, if you happened to use an old rag which was last used by your father to clean his weed-killer spray, you could poison your prisoner!

g. Don't use dirty underwear as mouth packing.  Some of the bacteria which feed on your sweat and other (ahem) bodily discharges are very dangerous to humans.  Your prisoner could end up with some life-threatening medical conditions.  If you must use underwear at all, use clean underwear.

Q. Imagine this:  You start to tie someone up and instead of struggling, he just lies there staring at you wide-eyed, breathing rather quickly.  What would you think is going on?

A. In this case, it is very likely that your tie-up victim is terrified out of his wits and not enjoying the experience at all. Let him loose immediately and apologise for scaring him.  Explain that it was meant to be just play.

This warning is especially important if you have started to tie someone up when they were not expecting any tie-up and have no previous experience with tying-up games.  It is also very important to pay attention to this rule if you do not know the person very well.  For example, the tie-up may be of a new player, for a sports initiation.

The following tips can help you to avoid unintentional emotional harm to your captive (they may also help you to avoid being taken to court for assault and/or unlawful imprisonment!):

a. Always give the prospective prisoner the chance of backing out of the game.  Only proceed without permission if you know the person very well and are completely sure that they can and will take being tied up as just a game.

b. Make the tying-up part of an organised, voluntary game.  Ensure everyone who may want to take part in the game knows what to expect if captured (tying-up, tickling or whatever you allow to be done to prisoners).  That way, no one who takes part can say that they were not warned.

c. Do not permit peer pressure or coercion.  Ensure that everyone accepts the fact that there are some people who just cannot take, as a joke, being tied up or "tortured", even when meant as play.  Cultivate a positive atmosphere of understanding, where coercion is seen as "uncool" by all.

One more issue relating to the above warning:  What if a potential player is terrified of the prospect of being tied up, but also wishes he was not afraid and secretly wants to play?

How do you recognise a "Timid Player"?

a. He will usually watch a tie-up game in complete silence, not cheering on the captors, nor offering any encouragement for them.

b. He may look uncertain while watching a tie-up game, as though he thinks he should do something but is not sure what.

c. If you look at the Timid Player's eyes when he is watching a tie-up, you may be able to recognise a mixture of longing and fear on his face.

d. He is often the one who reports every tiny infraction of the rules to the leaders, even when there is no need for the leaders' intervention.  This is usually a reaction to his fear, not an attempt to "suck up to" the leaders.  The Timid Player is just trying to create what he sees as a safe environment.

How should you deal with the Timid Player?

a. Try to identify the Timid Player early.  Be sensitive to his fears and follow the procedures above so that he can easily choose not to be tied up.

b. Cultivate an environment of non-coercive tie-up play.  If the Timid Player sees that everyone is being sensible (and sensitive), he may decide to join in the game and you will have gained a happy player.  As noted earlier, try to make coercion "uncool".

c. Be gentle with each other's feelings, no matter how rough you are with each other's bodies.  If a player feels safe and uncoerced, he can usually put up with an amazing amount of rough play without being harmed emotionally.

Politically Correct dogma:  References to the male gender in the above text should be taken as also being a reference to the female gender unless the contrary intention appears. :-)

That's all for now, folks.  I hope your tying-up games are both fun and safe and I hope I have not put you off enjoying tying-up games.

Jason Masters