DISCLAIMER:- The following text is sexually explicit and contains depictions of sexual acts that have been classified by the surgeon general as potentially dangerous and unhealthy. You must be a broad minded adult to read the text, and you must not make this text available to minors or to any person who does not wish to view it. Unprotected sexual relations with unknown partners is hazardous and we urge the use of condoms and safe sex at all times.

So here's excerpts from an exchange I had over a few days on an internet dating website recently. 41 year old single mom. 5'5. She won't say her weight, but she says she's a size 9/10 and trying to come down a couple of sizes by working out a lot. She wrote she doesn't really want to have more children. But women really do just want to be bred, even if they say they don't.

Here's her profile (exerpts):
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Outgoing fun hardworking sexy women seeks someone who can keep up with the Energizer Bunny.

I am a hard working person who works with adolescents. I am also a basketball coach. I love listening to live music. I like to travel. I love the outdoors. I love to sing and dance. I like warm weather and am not against relocation to a warmer climate. I like to drive fast cars and wish I was a race car driver at one point in my life but that phase is over with. I don't need to be wined and dined I would prefer to stay home and cuddle and watch a movie or a BILLS football game or a Sabres playoff game.

Who doesn't like a nice romantic diner out or a nice candle light dinner at home with whip cream and strawberries for our desert. I love to take in sunsets, walks on the beach, body rubs, and yes I love to shop for high heels, sexy panties...

My favorite color is Hot Pink, I like whip cream, strawberries and watching the Girls next door Hugh Heffners 3 hot chicks.
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Ok, after seeing this, I thought, 'This girl HAS to be a dude. Women NEVER write suggestive or provocative profiles like this. Either that or she's one of those automated Russians who will try to hit me up for money at some point'. So since I had nothing to lose, I just figured I'd send some really nasty message, knowing I would never get a reply anyway. Here's the email exchange that follows:

Initial message: Me: God damn. Pity you're not sure you'd want to have kids, because you'd better believe I'd try my absolute hardest to knock you up every time I saw you. You are one of the sexiest women I've ever seen!

Her: wow I think that a compliment?? y how many kids do u want baby??

Me: Oh yeah, that's a compliment. With you? As many kids as I can get, lol. Why, still open to it? We could start right away ;-)

Her: Sure baby y not lets c if u can knock me up we'd have a cute kid......if not we could have a hell of alot of fun trying :)

Me: Oh, you know it, baby. I'm all down for trying. I think we'd have a supermodel kid with a hottie like you as the mother. I have no kids now, but make no mistake, you'd get pregnant real quick as turned on as I am just looking at your photos. Where have YOU been my whole life? ;-) .

Her: wow i dont no y but your first message made me start to get turned on lol.

Me: haha, because I think you like the idea of me coming by and filling you up with my seed. I'm still thinking about that myself, gorgeous. ;)

Her: I can almost feel the warmness now..........ah I have long blonde hair 36Ds, and I give the best back rubs and my fav thing to do is YOUR fav thing to RECEIVE :)

Me: Yeah, you can feel the warmth of my cum deep inside of you? I can feel the warmth and wetness of you wrapped around me. Good, let it give you something to think about while you wait for me to come make it a reality. Or until you come visit to get the time of your life, and a VERY unique present to bring home, haha.

Her: I am one of those who can have org by having sex multiple ones at that so keep that harness coming i live for sex but i would much rather taste u baby. u dont have to get me wet ill be that way probably before u get there...let me do the work for u

Me: I love to receive, but I also love to give. Nothing I love more than having a woman cum hard right in front of my face (and lips). I love knowing that I'm the one who made her lose control of her body like that. Nothing turns me on quite as much...well, almost nothing. ;) So why are you on here?

Her: sure bend me over baby the more the harder the better lol. i can cum a lot. i work alot so its hard to meet guys and i work with kids alot and not really adults so i never meet anyone at my job. i decided to try this to see what happens and then i met u and now im gonna get pregnant lol

Me: Oh, I love women who can cum a lot. Because I want to make you cum with every part of my body, baby. I'd please you with my fingers, until you get soaked, then lick it all up and make you cum again until you're leaking all over the place. Then I'd stick my rock hard cock inside of you until you're soaking it, and I'd make you cum and cum until you sucked every bit of my potent seed deep inside of your womb. I tend to stay hard afterwards if I'm really turned on, so you can taste me all you want until I'm reading to plant more of my cum inside of you from behind. Would that turn you on, baby?

Her: i like that baby i just dont want to get too wet for u if i cum too many times before ur ready to fuck me. does that bother u if i get that wet?

Me: You can never get too wet for me. The wetter the better. But if you just want me to come by, bend you over your table, pull down your thongs and fuck you until you pass out, then I won't object, lol.

Her: lol that would make me really wet too. u sound like u like it from behind a lot. I have a nice ass but I am trying to loose some extra pounds from the cold winter

Me: You can lose weight if you want to, but don't lose your ass. I love big asses, because I love the way it bounces against my stomach and ripples with each thrust when you're on your knees on the bed and I'm standing over you from behind. And there's nothing better than seeing a woman with a big ass cum hard and see their entire bodies shake while still attached to me. Have you ever been fucked while wearing lingerie? I love that! Tell me. What kind of relationship are you looking for now in your life?

Her: What I am looking for???????? at this point in my life I would really like to find someone that I could make a point of making their day every day you would never get bored with me. if u told me u were bored I would say things like ok lets go to strip club 2 c the girls i'll buy u a lap dance or id buy a sexy outfit, or pick up some new toys that we can play with i no it's not all about sex but what better way to connect 2 people ?? its been a long time since i felt something with a boyfriend i am def ready to settle down
I am good with my profession just need to find a good man. You sound like u have the same thought as I do in that department between us I don't think would be a problem :)

***Author's Note: Wasn't expecting the settling down line, but...ok, I'll go with the flow here and see where it takes me.

Me: That's cool. I'm the same way, definitely looking for that right person to settle down and start a family with. You know, the bachelor life has been fun, but I'll be 28 soon, so I should start thinking about something serious with someone who loves to fuck and loves to cook!

Her: I can cook and bake what do u like to eat?

Me: What do I like to eat? heh heh, well aside from the obvious joke, I love nice and spicy foods. The same way I like spicy women. Love ethnic foods, like Italian. What's your specialty dish? I can't cook, but I give great massages! ok, so you cook for me and I'll give you a full body massage. You'll never live without it once you get it. I promise. ;) Do you date pretty often?

Her: my speciality is lasagna. do u like it? I'll take a massage anytime. no boyfriend in 3 years I have had a couple of hook ups/ of course and lately ive been even more horny then i usually am. scary thing but I have toys and at times use them daily so ud better hurry and come to buffalo and bend me over baby ill be wearing heals and that sexy lingerie and well use my toy at the same time ooohhh what a feeling. so u like blondes with long blonde hair big tits and a big ass?

Me: When I see you, I want you to wear your sexiest lingerie and I will bend you over the couch in your high heels, move your thongs out the way and eat you like you've never been eaten before all over from behind while fucking you with your toy. Would you like that? Damn, I've always said if I could find a girl like you I'd marry her!

Her: wow u have so many ideas already......can't wait. are u proposing?? hey life is short lets c if you can get me knocked up first cause i wouldn't want 2 disappoint u baby

Me: that sounds like a good idea. So I'll come see you when you're at your most fertile, spend the entire time cumming deep inside of you, and when you're finally knocked up, we'll run off and elope. How's that sound? ;-) and just like that, we'll have it all!

Her: ok lets video tape that fantasy and well replay it one night. sounds good to me i cant wait to start. Yes we will have it all.........happiness thats all we need....and if u cant knock me up then i won't hold it against u if u need try something else

Me: mmm, I'd love to videotape myself making you cum over and over, screaming while digging your nails in my back and begging me to give you every bit of me. Do you have long nails? I love being scratched by a horny girl who can't control her passions.

Her: yes long nails mine i have acrylic on my nails yes i can't wait to run my fingers down your back who will videotape for us??

Me: We can videotape it ourselves so we'll have something to keep us entertained between visits until you move here to have our impossibly beautiful baby. ;) mmm, I love long acrylic nails. there's something so whorishly hot about them, especially if they're a crazy style or design. A lot of guys say they like the 'natural' look on women, but I don't. I love lots of makeup - and being totally done up and looking like a sex freak. It turns me on. We can set up a tripod unless you know someone who wants to videotape you getting bred by me. ;)

Her: lol i usually get sexy designs yes agree it is kinda whorish
and I ALWAYS Get COMPLIMENTS about my makeup by guys and girls. ok i like that idea. i can cum with u no problem baby and i will dig my nails into ur back anytime u want it so whats our time frame of trying the first time trying to have a baby that would be hot and so cool cant wait to try when r u visiting me?

Me: haha, don't worry, I've been saving my seed for just the right person, and it's been so long for me that you might get knocked up the very first time I fuck you. Especially if we cum at the same time. I hear that maximizes the chances of you getting pregnant because your orgasm draws it all inside of you. But if you don't get pregnant, then I'm still going to enjoy spending time trying and trying. I don't give up easily. ;) Well, when is the next time you'll be ovulating? I'll catch a flight out then, lol. You never thought about having another baby before? Someone as beautiful as you needs to have more kids to contribute to the world, especially in *******, which has a serious lack of good-looking people.

Her: not sure when im going to ovulate??? havent had those thoughts but u r bringing them out in me 1st time cuming in me would be awesome then what? how much time can u take off from yr job?? yes I have thought about getting preg in the very back of my mind but never found anyone who wanted 2 try............ok
let's do it sexy somehow talking about having your baby is making me so frickin hrny!! what do u wanna do after u cum inside of me?

Me: First time cumming in you would be followed by the second time, and third time until I'm totally drained and I videotape my seed leaking out of you. Then I'll rest and eat and build up another supply to fill you with. I can spend an entire weekend there doing nothing but impregnating you and jumpstarting an exciting and sexy new life for us. If you don't get pregnant then, then I'll just keep coming back every month until you do. ;-)

Her: if u get here and don't like what u c ill let u bow out..
your ready to settle down?? wouldnt that b a story for us 2 tell i cant wait to get u so hard to be able to come 3, 4 times/ so how long are we going to try 4 to get me pregnant? before u should look elsewhere for someone else?? I don't want your dreams in life to be lost if it doesn't work out...I'll understand

****Author's Note: Shit, that settle down bullshit again. Eh, I'm close. Whatever it takes to seal the deal...

Me: Yeah, I'd love to settle down. I want you to have my baby. I wanna see your belly grow with our baby while you're still dressing like a slut with your long nails and pink lipstick, knowing that you're carrying the child of a man you just met and knowing how bad you were to let him do that to you, but knowing how good it felt and how you'd do it again and again with him. How you WILL do it again and again with him.

Her: im having yr baby and i didn't get your name lol mine is **** but go by ****. well i like what i see your really sexy and good looking and cute all wrapped up into one.......and it sounds like u would really try to please me
all i really need to survive is good sex what else matters???????? I have been put on earth to please a man I just haven't found that man or maybe i have
well im off 2 sleep baby i hope to talk 2morrow of course
what r u doing memorial day weekend? why did u write to me to tell me u want to make me preg???? i hope i can stil lget preg i'm 41!!!

Me: You're only 41. You're not THAT old. Have you ever tried to have a second kid before? You still look real fertile in those hot pics. I think that was why I wrote you that message I did in the first place. You just have a 'knock me up' look to you that means you're still real fertile. I'll prove it. But if it can't happen, then we'll take it from there, baby.

****Author's Note: DUMPED

Her: r u flying to see me memorial day weekend? u didnt tell me before.

Me: Oh, sorry! I can never remember when Memorial Day weekend is. When is it going to be? I can spend it with you if you want. But just our luck you'll be having your period then, lol.

Her: its the 28 this month. no period then. i will buy one of those tests to see if i am ovulating then and then u can come make me pregnant. do u really want to do this?

Me: Of course I do. More than anything now that I've found someone so perfect for me. I think you've found your man to please, as I've found my woman to please and if it all works out as we want it, then we'll be doing a lot of pleasing of each other and the baby we're going to have. :)

So she said she's going to buy a ovulation test or something this weekend and let me know how fertile she is. If she's going to be fertile that weekend then I'm taking a trip out to *****! lol

The question you might be wondering is, let's say she is fertile and let's say I do go out there. this isn't a fictional thing, this is reality with real consequences. What will I do? Well, chances are I won't knock her up. Don't get me wrong, I'm going to try. REALLY HARD. I'm going to make her wet and cum deep inside of her fertile womb as soon as I feel her cumming, to make sure her orgasm sucks up every drop of cum I have deep into her ready eggs. BUT, I've had tons of sex with girls with the intent of impregnating them and it so rarely resulted in pregnancy that I think my swimmers are a little weak. That's not such a good thing for a pregnancy website, but it's a good thing for my finances. And the fact that they're weak rather than completely non-functional is good because it still means there's a chance it could happen, so there's something to get excited/nervous about. It's all about the risk. But you already know that. That's why you're here. ;)