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From: Chuck Melville <cpam@zipcon.com>
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Subject: (fur) The Wrath Of The Elder Glops / Waste The Rainbow! 4/4
Date: Mon, 15 Nov 2004 17:13:26 -0800
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===================
Felicia
And The Curse Of Ba Ahb Arahn
-or-
The Wrath Of The Elder Glops
Chapter 4
"Waste The Rainbow!"
"I don't understand," panted Titepahkets when they reached the second
floor, one below their destination. The annoyingly noisy beachball had
finally vanished between the first and second floors, having fulfilled
its purpose. "You say they're offspring of the creature? Why are they
awake now? You said it wouldn't wake until the moon rose!"
Felicia snorted. "Obviously you've never had kids. They -never- stay
in bed! Besides," she added as they passed a dirty window, "it would
appear that it's a bit later than we'd supposed it was." She neatly
plucked his handkerchief from his coat pocket and wiped a swath through
the dirt on the pane, allowing a ghostly light to filter through. "The
moon is just now clearing the hills."
"But why are we making a trail for them to follow? Shouldn't we be
eluding them?"
"We need to get them all together when we perform the spell. The
creature is bound to this floor; -they- are not, and will eventually
find their way into the countryside!"
"Good Gur!"
"Exactly! So we must draw them all together and destroy them at the
same time."
They found debris blocking the stair between the second and third
landings. A section of wall had been torn down, and rubble was piled
high upon the steps. Vixen and raccoon examined the pile and searched
for an access past it, but to no avail. "It will take hours for me to
move all of this by myself," grunted Titepahkets as he pushed aside a
large stone fragment.
A cool breeze fluttered the sorceress' cloak. "We don't have hours,"
she gritted. She turned the lantern beam behind them. Several small
wobbly piles of brightly colored globules were jiggling fiercely up from
the foot of the stairs, making little schopping noises as they squirmed
forward. "The stairs slow them down, but we can't retreat. We must
push ahead!"
"But the rubble --" Titepahkets protested.
Felicia pointed at the impediment and uttered a curse beneath her
breath. The stone blurred and blew away in the breeze, dissolving into
dust. "Let's go!" she shouted as she raced up the stairs. Titepahkets
hesitated for only a second before the cloying smell of blackberries
drifted upwards and spurred him on. He ran close behind her, nearly
tripping and falling twice.
"Can't you use that spell on them, too?" he panted as they reached the
third floor landing. Felicia shook her head in reply.
"Won't work. Only Tertrim's spell will get rid of them. Besides..."
She paused to catch her breath. "I need to conserve as much of my power
as possible until we confront Ba Ahb Arahn; we may need it." She
searched the darkness in front of her, turning the lantern so that the
light raced along the many doorways. "Which room? Where would the
accounts have been kept?" The solicitor stared, looking from door to
door, desperately attempting to regain his bearings. Felicia turned to
look back down the stairs and spotted a bright blue blob ripple over a
step. *Blue?* She wondered. *Oh, yes... boysenberry.* "Quickly!" she
snapped. "We haven't much time!"
And then the room was filled with the aroma of an orange grove; it
reminded Felicia of Orange Pekoe Tea, and of Orange Sherbet, and even of
frozen concentrate... They both whirled, the short hairs on their
bodies rising, and a foul citrus wind blew in from down the hall.
Something huge and translucent emerged from an open door, its body
reflecting the light in a bright orange sheen.
"That door!" the solicitor screamed, and they both jumped into a nearby
doorway. Titepahkets slammed the door shut after them, and wedged a
chair under the doorknob. Felicia wheeled about and examined their
surroundings. It was a large, spacey office; much of the furniture had
been moved or smashed, and the center of the floor had been cleared
away. She rushed to the center and set the lantern atop an overturned
file cabinet. "This will have to do. We'll make our stand here. We
need to let them all into the room together; I can withhold them for a
short time, but it will be a strain. While I do that, -you- must read
the counterspell."
"Me?" The terrified solicitor was surprised. "Why me?"
"Tertrim's original spell was specific. It has to be you or one of
your family who must read the counterspell. Think about it: Tertrim was
a Rakune like you! What kind of binding spell would you have bound a
Lesser Demon of the Eighth Cohort of Despair with?"
There was a wet -sludge- at the door, shaking the wall with its force.
Titepahkets stared blankly at Felicia for a long moment and then
grabbed from his pocket the piece of parchment torn from the wizard's
book. He read through it for the first time, translating it mentally as
he read. "Oh, my good Gur..." he whispered hoarsely. "-It's a contract!-"
Felicia nodded as she feverishly prepared her incantations. "And -you-
have an escape clause! -Invoke it when I tell you!-" She brusquely
swept aside the dirt and rubble from where she knelt, and her hand
struck something solid that crackled upon impact. Reaching behind her
in the dark she came across a hard object wrapped in parchment paper.
With a cry, she ripped away the protective paper and held it up to the
light. Titepahkets' attention was momentarily diverted from the
sweet-smelling deathbeasts at the door, and he gasped as he recognized
the sorceress' discovery. "The Accounts Book! You've found it!"
"I guess 'Sticky' got this far at least," Felicia murmured as she
studied the book and the paper it had been wrapped in. She handed it to
the Rakune. "I believe this is rightly yours."
But Lord Titepahkets shook his head in sad denial. "No... by law it
belongs to you. -You- found it. I cannot claim it because I am an
official of the Government."
"But you forget," Felicia reminded him, "that I am an agent in your
employ. Therefore, anything I find in the discharge of my duties
relating to the task that I was charged with rightfully belongs to
-you-." A wan smile spread slowly across her face. "I know a little
about Rakunian law myself." A hungry little sigh escaped her as she
placed the book in his hands. "I know I'm just throwing money at the
foolishly rich when I could have built a new fountain for my garden..."
Her eyes sparked green fire and the smile curled further in amusement.
"But I think it's secure enough in the hands of an honest raccoon."
The portly raccoon looked down at the vixen in wonder and reached out
to take the treasured book from her with shaking hands. But his joy and
relief were short-lived. There was a new assault at the door and it
shook violently with the sound of something wet sloshing against the
barrier with an evil will. "Quickly!" hissed Felicia. "Stand within
the circle! It will protect us! Stand your ground! Here! No,
-here-!" She yanked him into the protective circle she had drawn on the
floor with pieces of chalk and charcoal she materialized from under her
cloak.
The door burst open and a rainbow of doom slurped in. First came Ba
Ahb Arahn, its gleaming gelatin filling the doorway as it slid in,
jiggling and wobbling. The raccoon stared in horror at the creeping
mass; it was bright and transparent, and there were little bits of dried
fruit floating within... and one big shadowy something near the center.
As it neared the light, the dead eyes of Fingers Bool stared
lifelessly back from the shadowy form, his mouth still open in a silent
scream, his curled, arthritic hands raised to ward off a blow. Bits of
the body were already beginning to dissolve away as his body was slowly
digested by the demon jellopod.
The smaller, swifter offspring of the demon slid in and around, zipping
all around them, throwing themselves eagerly at the fox and raccoon, but
falling back as though striking an unseen wall. "Quickly!" prompted the
sorceress. "I can't hold them for long! I think they're all here now;
read the spell!"
Titepahkets coughed and nervously stepped towards the fruity-flavored
doom, stopping at a point still within Felicia's protective circle.
"Erm... Ba Ahb Arahn, I hereby invoke the escape clause. You're fired."
The demon wailed, a loud, liquidy gurgle, and surged forward, little
globules slopping off as he struck the edge of the circle. Felicia fell
back, momentarily stunned, and her field vanished. "Damn it!" she
yelled, "Read it the way it was written!" And she jumped up and fired
mystic bolts of energy at the smaller gels, herding them back.
The shimmery mass of cheerful citrus colors quivered and shambled its
way across the rough-hewed stone floor. Lord Titepahkets stood his
ground, reading from the document. "Ba, Ba, Ba, Ba Ahb Arahn! Yu gah
mea rahkenn annda rol enn, rahkenn annda re lenn, Ba Ahb Arahn!" A
small and dull light sparked deep within the unstable mass of fruity
flavored fury and glimmered brightly as it grew in intensity. The
quivering hulk of Ba Ahb Arahn gave a bestial wobble and rippled forward.
Felicia uttered an incantation and watched as one of the green gels
stopped, contorted upon itself and dissolved into a pool of lime-scented
sugar water. "Faster!" she screamed to the solicitor, but her voice was
lost in the roar of gelatinous ploppings that filled the chamber.
The stout raccoon drew himself up to his full height and stepped firmly
towards the monster. "Subsection 13, paragraph 5, clause A," he yelled
at it, waving the yellowed document in his hand. "All authority over
the party of the second part shall, in the event of death or
incapacitation, be passed along to the first born male, ad infinitum,
until such time as the terms listed herewith are a) carried to term, or
b) rendered null...!" Ba Ahb Arahn reared up to its full height, a
colossus of foul, fun-filled shivering evil. The light within it blazed
fiercely, suffusing throughout the translucent monster and bathing the
antechamber with a cheerful orange light.
The smaller globs had halted in their advances and began resonating in
tune to their parent, quivering faster and faster. Felicia felt a
similar quivering in the depths of her belly, and privately wished that
they wouldn't shake in such a violent manner. Then, one by one, the
globlings began to erupt, popping like brightly colored balloons. There
was a flash of red, and the side of her face was spattered with
strawberry-flavored remains. "It's working!" she cried. "Stay within
the circle! Don't cross it!"
Ba Ahb Arahn was now a blazing gelatin nova. It too was quivering
fiercely out of control. But step-by-faltering-step it continued its
merciless advance upon the chanting solicitor, no longer restrained by
Felicia's magic wards. Lord Titepahkets' face contorted between fear
and rage, and he leapt at the demon, shoving the document deep into the
sticky orange glop. "I HAVE A CONTRACT, YOU BASTARD!" he screamed. Ba
Ahb Arahn gave a gurgling howl and fell full upon the raccoon. There
was a sudden roar of breaking wind and the sepulchral light flared to a
blinding intensity. Felicia ducked and covered her eyes, just as she
was deafened by an enormous POP, followed by several smaller plops all
over the room. Something wet and sticky struck her and she fell over
onto her side, drawing her voluminous cloak about her for protection.
Then it was dark and silent. The vixen sat up and rose gingerly to her
feet, brushing away the dust and gaily colored stains from her garments.
She hastily uttered an incantation and a ghostly ball of light hovered
in the air above her. The room was empty, save for her. All that
remained of the terrible Ba Ahb Arahn and its monstrous offspring were
several piles of dissolving colored gelatin, melting away into the stone
floor cracks. Of Lord Titepahkets there were no remains save for his
pipe and the tattered shreds of the parchment he'd held. Felicia sat
heavily on the side of a shattered desk. "Damn," she whispered under
her breath. She leaned forward and carefully picked up the pipe,
cradling it in her hands as she sighed wearily, "Damn, damn, damn..."
epilogue
Vixenish ears perked up at the familiar scream of the mailman. Felicia
looked up from the rose bush she had been pruning in time to see the
newest messenger fleeing as swiftly from her tower as his feet would
carry him across the meticulous lawn, his tail fully fluffed in feline
panic. Setting aside her shears, she rose from where she had been
kneeling and walked back into the tower, slipping off her oversized
sunhat. She passed through a back door, wiped the dirt from her hands
onto her slacks and asked of the empty rooms as she entered, "Has the
mail arrived then?"
"It has," replied a whisper as faint as grass rippling in the breeze,
and the Archivist faded into view from the sunlight pouring in through
an open window. Her insubstantial hand held out an official packet
addressed to the sorceress. "It has come from Ra Kuna - from the
Ministry of the Great Hoard."
"Ah! Good!" Felicia smiled and removed her gardening gloves in order
to open the envelope. "I trust this will conclude the 'Sticky' Fingers
affair."
"Yes," intoned the specter. "Lord Titepahkets' heirs will be awarded
their share of the treasure, as you recommended... and the ruins of the
old Titepahkets estate will be completely torn down and the land plowed
under."
Felicia stopped in mid-tear and glared irritably at the rabbit. "You
might have at least allowed me to open it first," she grumbled as she
tossed the packet unopened onto a nearby table.
"I do not understand why they did not tear down the ruins in the first
place," said the Archivist, ignoring the fox's complaint. "If the
creature was bound to the building, wouldn't they have been both
destroyed together with its razing?"
Felicia laughed and retrieved her hat and gloves, and turned back to
her garden. "Yes, but remember that they'd thought the treasure was
still within somewhere! They didn't want to destroy the building until
the money could first be recovered. Ah, the foibles of the rich and
raccoon! Well, Ba Ahb Arahn is sent back to his Nothingness, his
offspring are destroyed, I got my fee, and the missing treasure has been
returned." She sobered for a moment. "As for Lord Titepahkets... well,
I think he'd be pleased with the statue and the newly formed Trust for
the Restoration of Under-The-Counter Mews; it was the least that his
country owed him." With a flick of her wrist, she cast a minor spell,
levitating some empty flower pots and digging tools out the door before
her. "At any rate, it's a happy ending and everyone comes out ahead for
a change."
"Except for Fingers Bool," the Archivist reminded her. "He received
nothing but a horrible death for his troubles."
"I don't much feel sorry for old 'Sticky' Fingers," the vixen said with
venomous finality. "He betrayed his employer and cheated his country.
Even by Rakunian standards he was a thief. No, Fingers rolled the dice
and took his chance. And he paid the price for his risk. When all is
said," she added as she stepped back outdoors into the warm summer
afternoon, "Fingers Bool received his just desserts."
The End
--
-Chuck Melville-
Comic book fanatic and sometimes-creator-type-person
***************
"Felicia And The Curse Of Ba Ahb Arahn" and all characters within are
©2004 Chas P A Melville. All Rights Reserved.
***************
Books, posters and merchandise, check out
http://www.cafeshops.com/feliciakatara
Felicia and The Dreaded Book Of Un
http://www.cafepress.com/feliciakatara.11985166
Felicia and The Tailcutter's Curse
http://www.cafepress.com/feliciakatara.11986999
20041115171326