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From: frank_fowlkes@yahoo.com
Newsgroups: alt.stories.urban-harvest
Subject: Re: green, yellow, orange, purple, red, blue, and black
Date: Tue, 10 Aug 2004 10:48:49 -0700
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===================

frank_fowlkes@yahoo.com (Bum) wrote in message news:<e67cba1.0408072333.41097c94@posting.google.com>...
.
> *                                 *                  *  
>        *             *                                                
>         green, yellow, orange, purple, red, blue, and black
>              *                                *                       
> *
>               *                *                                *
>   *                                             *
>         *
>                        *                                     *
>                                           *                           
>        
>                                               *
>               
>    *                 *                                *               
>            *                           *
>          *                    *            *               * 
>                                                                 
>      *
>     #
>   *    #     *          *    *              *              #    *
>            *          *            *                *
>     *          *                       *   *    #           *
>    *              #                  *                  *  
>        *             *                  *           *           *    #
>                         #        #         *
>         ##                           #         *                      
>  *
>          #    *            *                           *
>   *                                        *                         
>         *           #    *                *              #            
>   *
>       #       #         *                                     *
> #              *         #   *        *         *                    *
>                 ##      #                 ##   *                *
>    *             ##  * ##      #          #            *   #          
>     *       ##  *     ##           #      # #
>          # #       #  ##     *##      ##  *               * 
>          ###  #     #   *    ##      #       #        #               
>      *              #               ##
>    *  ##   # ##     ##     ##    *##                    *
>           #                ##     ##        #
>   *           ###     *##  #      #       *   ##              *
>   ##       *   #  #  ## ## #      ##     ##         *
>     *          * ## ###    ##   ###    *   *                *
>   *    ##          ## ##    ##  ##  *  ###             *  
>        *##   ##      ### #    ###     ####            *
>           ## ###      #####   # #  ## #
>               *##  #  # ##### #  # #         *
>   *                    #######                
>                        # ### #                        *     *
>             *         #### ##   *         *          *
>                         #######              *                *
>     *                    ## ###                        *              
>    *           *         ## ###                  *
>          *               #####          *               * 
>                          ########
>                                ##
>                 *                              *
>     *                      *                          
>              *         #   # #     #*                   *
> *
>                                           *
> 
> (BL)   *               #      #             #            *

> The snow was falling around him, and some black trees creaked slowly
> in the wind. He lifted his hands away from the snow. The black
> mountain and the day after the seventy seventh hour started to creep
> closer to his thoughts but, always and soon after, he felt another
> black lapse coming that would push the mountain, the day, further
> away. He started counting where he left off. The black lapses he could
> never stop; they stopped thought, stopped ideas, but he hope that this
> time he would be able to pass. And yet he felt they were coming more
> and more merciless now, more than ever; he was starting to question
> whether attempting the pass was worth the risk.
>                    #    #    #
> 
>       *          #     #     #                #
> 
>      when you start to feel tired rub           #
>      *imaginary ice over your arms, 
>      face, neck, chest
>                         * 
>              
>                                           #
> "This one is stronger than the last," he thought, at the same time
> counting down from seven hundred. He tried every other method to pass
> through the black lapses without losing consciousness, imaginary
> walks, imaginary cold baths, imaginary fights, imaginary love affairs,
> none of them help, only counting or repeating sentences over and over
> again sometimes helped but never entirely; he would always end up
> drowning. Imaginary fights and fucks, imaginary people and worlds,
> helped him get through the early grey lapses.
> The grey lapses only lasted the first night; they only suggested
> sleep, suggested that he close his eyes and rest awhile, last thoughts
> always a fuck, or maybe a fight to keep a fuck or get a fuck, get
> another fuck.  A long time ago, imagining before sleep also helped him
> plan the next day, if he ever woke up again, to get stuff right: right
> place, right time, right change to be right person, and other times
> they changed stuff from how they actually happened, or how someone
> would have like for them to happen, meeting someone, going somewhere,
> being able to start over, a new promise. The second night, when
> gradually the grey lapses turned black, and the black lapses didn't
> suggest sleep, they stop all thoughts from continuing, from forming,
> he resorted to counting. Imaginary fights and fucks were useless for
> him to use to help him get past the black lapses; they only took one
> so far, if one's imaginations turned right, love then a fuck, also a
> pass to do anything to anyone in this world, and if one's imaginations
> didn't amount to anything, no reason to go any further. Staring up at
> the stars, the end half of the second night, he began counting the
> waves crashing on the beach, one, two, three, four-hundred and
> thirty-one, on and on, and with the grey lapses turning blacker and
> blacker, no longer able to repel them, he began to wonder if they
> would finally put him to a sleep that he would never wake up from.
> Yet, the lapses weren't sleep; people choose to sleep, like they chose
> to fuck, kill, and fuck, and kill, kill in assorted ways, they were
> different; worse; they were like an undertow, and after breaking the
> surface to breathe
> again, one not sure about the last count, never sure about the extent
> of the lapse, another black lapse would come, and another, and
> another, halting the
> day after the seventy seventh hour, halting the path. The black lapse
> were like death, one dead sure, never to be here again. He lifted his
> fingers off his wrist, not fast enough, the lapse was starting to
> peak.
> 
> 
>                   *                              *  
>      bend your left arm, tap right 
>      phalanges against your elbow   *              #
>                                                     #
>                  *                                   #
> 
> He started to rub sand up and down his arms and up to his neck and
> began counting imaginary drops of water falling on a puddle, one, two,
> three, faster and faster, ten, eleven. His thoughts were beginning to
> go under and be washed away. "Don't stand up," he remembered, every
> muscle in his body wanting him to. The black lapses never appeared
> when someone was doing repetitive motor exercises, one needed to be in
> the dark and supine. At the same time, the black lapses weren't to be
> avoided, in a way, the lapses would be needed to find the path to the
> black mountain, to the day after the seventy seventh hour, to the last
> thought. No one could get to the black mountain by not passing through
> the black lapses, if anyone could get through one, through death
> itself. He would always drown, waking up the next morning to a sound,
> to a strange sense that he almost pierced through but never knowing
> for sure; this was his thirty-fourth attempt trying. After some of the
> black lapses, he would remembered the number with other strange
> figures, and that he was only counting, somehow manipulating the
> number, other figures, that he only counted to stay awake, stay awake
> for the day after.
> The lapse ebbed, and his mind began to slowly clear.
>  
>                                              #
>                                    *        #
>      hold your breath, count the seventy seven  
>      knots on the string, round and round  *
> 
>                                          #
>                                               *
> He sat up. The sky was still black but he could see a faint glow
> somewhere on the horizon. "Never here again," he repeated several
> times before resting back to the earth. Past one, he thought to
> himself; this can't be right; the mountain wasn't here. He repeated
> the words from the memorized text, only at night, only supine and
> alone, could the path through the black mountain, the day after the
> seventy seventh hour, creep any nearer. He wanted another black lapse
> to come before the sun climbed into the sky; he wanted to make sure he
> actually past one. "The black lapses have been crossed, and for what,
> for a ?never again.'"
>  
> 
>                 ##                   #
>      anything, slap the back of your hand!
>      just don't choose to fall asleep before 
>      the seventy seventh hour                   #           #
> 
>                ##                 #
> 
> And one came, lasted only a couple of seconds, and he was wrong, or
> just a little off, the black lapses have been never been past, the
> last one like the early lapses, only grey and mistaken for black, and
> this one not only threaten to drown him to sleep, this one physically
> threatened to snap him out of existence. He started to count and
> paused, the stars started to violently shake, the ground erupted, and
> then began to repeat sentences over and over again, this lapse unlike
> anyone of them experienced before.
> (BL)             ##               #
> 
>            *    ##    *         #  *                *
>     *         #* #  #       *  #        *   *                *
>   *              ##    #      #     *         #        *  
>        *          ## *   # # ##                                       
>         *           ##      #  ##           #
>              *     ####     #     ##          *                       
> *                     ##   ##         ##    #
>               *        ## # * *          ##               *
>   *                  #  ##               # *                          
>         *                 ##
>                    #   *    #          #      ##             *
>               *             *  ##    *         *                    *
>                   #         *   #             *      ##        *
>   *                 *         #  #                   *               
> *           *   #  #               #                      ##
>          *   *        #   # #    *   #        *   ##          * 
>                #  *      *         #    #          *             ##   
>       *#     ##
>    *                                #     #
> *                   *    *              *                   *
>            #          *            *         #      *
>     *          * #          *           *   *                *
>   *     # #        #                *      #  #        *  
>        *    #       # *                  *                  *         
>       #     *#        #                 #        #
>     #          #      #   #        #  #      *      #      *          
> *#              #         ##    #
>               * #          *  #                        *##
>  *                          #    #        *                           
>        *       #                   #                       ##
>                            #  *       #         *                *
>   *           #     *     #                          *      ##       
> *           *#
>          *   *              #    *            *               * 
>              #    *      *   She was hanging clothes outside,
>       *#      #               #
>    *                            #
>                 #    *             #                       *##
>               *  #          *        *         *                    *
>               *     #       * *         #           #     *##
>   *           #        #                 *#                    ##   
>         * ##
>            #           *                 ##                  *##
>               *     #       *        *   #     *                    *
>           #                 *      #          *        #       *
>   *                 *    #            #              *               
> *          #*
>          *   *                   *            *               * 
>          #       *      *           #             *     #          
>       *## 
>    * #
> *                   *    *              *                   *
>            *         #*            *                *
>     *          *            *          #*   *                *
>   *                #                *                  *  
>        *       #      *      #           *                  *         
>              *
>                             #                *  #          *          
> * and the wind started to come down the mountain.
>               *            *                 ###       *#
>  *                                        *                           
>        *#
>                        *                  ##                *#
>               *             *        *         *                    *
>                                       #      *                *#
>  *                 *                                *                *
> *                #  *        *              *                   *#
>            *          *            *                *
>     *     #    *            *           *   *                *
>   *                                 *              #   *  
>        *             *       #                            *
> *#
>               *      #      *        *         *                    *
>                             *                 *                *
>   *                 *                                *               
>        *              *                  *                  *         
>              *           #
>                                              *             *          
>          *
>                                              *                *
>      *                 *                                *             
>   *
> 
> *              *      #      *        *         *                    *
>                             *                 *                *
>                       *
>            # *            *                           *
>  *                       #                *                           
>        *#
>                        *                                     *
>               *             *        *         *                    *
>                                              *                *
> (G) *                 *                                *              
>  *
> There was this green tree on a hill surrounded by a desert, and this
> boy was at its base and looking up. He saw that there was a space that
> one could climb into and disappear from the death. The boy climbed up
> the, tree, and he felt safe; he meet the gentle creature that never
> died, that kept the death away there. They promised the boy to protect
> him from the death. And then some monsters came; they came and rested
> under the tree. The boy watched them grunt to each other. Then they
> all left one behind the other, and a strange smear was left behind, a
> purple light that was slowly spreading. The leaves turned red; the
> black branches turned cold. He climbed down and followed them for
> awhile. They spread the death much faster in their wake than the other
> monsters that were here, the boy thought; there is more purple light
> than the faint glow of the last monsters; these monsters will spread
> the death faster. Some sounds were heard, and he saw them surround one
> of the gentle creatures. The gentle being pleaded for the monsters not
> to spread the death. The monsters didn't care; they wanted what the
> last monsters wanted, whatever the hell that was. The gentle creature
> didn't want to join the monsters so the gentle creature was torn to
> pieces and eaten, munched from the rump all the way to the crown. The
> boy shouted for them to stop but they wouldn't, they even turned and
> smiled. The boy stared to run away; he was really scared, he didn't
> wanna get munched either. The green tree on a hill surrounded by a
> desert is no longer there, and all the gentle creatures have been
> murdered and eaten. Now there is only the purple light and the few
> remaining monsters.
> (G)            *                                      *
>  *                                       *                           
>        *
>                        *                                     *
>                        
>                                           ## *                *
>  *                 *                                *                *
> 
> (BL)*              *                    *
> He felt the purple pulsation, and was scared. He didn't know exactly
> how but he sensed that maybe he was one of those monsters and that one
> of the gentle beings was trying to communicate with him, the death is
> spreading too fast.
> One of the gentle beings then touched his cheek, and he started to
> cry. He too wanted to reach out, touch the gentle being, put his lips
> on her, maybe munch her a little, but the pulsation went black, and he
> was pull under, and was drowning again.
> (BL)            *            *       ##                 *
>  *                              ##                             
>        *
>                        *                                     *
>               *                     *         *                    *
>                       *       *
>  *                 *                                *                *
>  The cold wind started to come down the mountain. 
>         *            *             *                    *
>    *                                            *
>                  *        ##
>                          ##
>            *                         *              *
>                        #
>                       *                 *
>                     #    *
>                        *                                     *
>               *                     *         *                    *
>                                              *                *
> (B) *                 *                                *              
>  *
> Followed the bum from the interstate; watched him from a distance; and
> waited until he slept before crawling closer. The bridge rumbled, and
> the air smelt like piss. Knelt down and stared at him,*there, ashes
> and trash, sleeping, dreaming. Began to wonder about his thoughts
> right before he drifted off to sleep. He might not wake up tomorrow;
> might wake up to a pain radiating out from the center of his chest,
> down his arms, down his legs, no light, eyes closing around a black
> sky. Nearer, watched*his breathe sprinkle the air with snow flakes.
> Brushed his cheek with the back of my hand; stepped back, crouched
> below the horizon, and remained still. The bum was motionless, silent,
> but I knew he was awake,*skin and eyes, ears and nose, a mind not
> knowing which way the wind was blowing. Wanted to*climb, my black
> silhouette
> rushing forward, and soon, my cold hands around his throat, drowning
> him in his own spit but he soon fell back to sleep, not ever knowing
> the
> reason why he woke up to a quiet black sky. I picked up a rock and
> placed it forward, and then moved the rock back to its former
> location. The bum didn't stir. Stared at the rock and happened to
> think of her. She would always do the same, never even stir, but
> sometimes, after a*strange noise, after a draft of wind, awake a
> little longer, believing that shadows were crossing the black framed
> window, she sometimes noticed a difference but then she would always
> fall asleep and forget. I buried the rock. The bum won't even notice
> the difference when he wakes up tomorrow. Myself, sometimes I would
> wake up in the middle of night, and, strange, find my mind empty,
> frantic almost, no place, no purpose, no name, and after, my name is,
> I'm right here, I'm doing this tomorrow, fall back to*sleep not caring
> about the difference, only wanting to sleep, with a name or not. Stood
> up. Stay awake past the seventy seventh hour; what if you went to
> sleep and you never woke up, she teased once, and tell me then, your
> last thoughts right before you fall to sleep. I looked down at the
> bum. I wanted to creep closer, didn't care if she, the bum, or if
> anyone heard me, soon, real soon, after the seventy seventh hour.
> Stood there, wondering who put all those thoughts in my head right
> before sleep, not her, left the cunt a long time ago, or maybe she
> left me, doesn't matter anymore, she has her prayers I have mine, the
> prayer after*the seventy seventh hour, and wondered there too long.
> The bum was beginning to open his eyes as the sun behind me climbed.
> And then there was only a scream.    *
> (B)          *
>                        *                                     *
>               *                     *         *                    *
>                                              *                *
>  *                 *     and the wind came down the mountain.        *
>                      *
>             *	*
> 
>                                                     ##
>                          *
> 
> 
> (C)                                       *
> Don't fucking drive a car, idiot; walk, take the bus; and position the
> body to sleep at night; that's right, no coffee, no mindless stunts,
> only position: supine, tittering on the edge of the black lapses!
> 
>                     *                            ##
> Blue toaster waved at little Red saucer. 
> 
> "Hi!"
> 
> Little Red saucer started to cry.            ##
> 
> He only dated you to get near someone better, and you two broke up not
> because of an absence of love but because one person didn't want to
> share, further a lie, the truth being, you'll lose, just because you
> haven't yet, doesn't mean you won't, see right over here, your soul
> stops, and guess what, little critters were playing over where your
> soul stopped, little greens ones, blue, and orange ones; they were
> really funny.
> 
> "So what you gonna do with that secret?" 
> 
> Little red saucer stopped crying. ##
> 
> "Be sure to get pregnant next time before someone really gets to know
> me."
> 
> Blue toaster nodded.
>                              ##
> Some thunder was heard, and rain drops began to fall. 
> 
> Copper tea pot appeared.
> 
> "Super glue has put me together again."
>                     ##
> Little Red saucer started to spin, around and around. 
> 
> "A day smashed and put together again later."
> 
> A tea bag peeped. 
>               ##
> "Some parts missing, missing parts filled in with super glue, supposed
> to make you stronger now."
> 
> Copper tea pot didn't like that so she left so did blue toaster.
> 
> "Bye."
> 
> They looked back and only saw a tea bag on a red saucer.
> 
>     *  
> 
> 
>                *       
> Some blue critter was being hurt. And she asked what are all the
> motives to kill, to hurt, and the little blue critter cried out before
> being slapped in and out between some pink bums, to eat and continue
> the soul, to fuck and further one's soul. *
> (C) 
>                                            *
>                    *
>   
> 
>        *                                 *
> 
> 
>          She left him to stand there alone. 
> 
> 
>            *                            
>  
> 
> (BL)                   *
> He plunged downward, further and further, and the sentences were
> starting to change; they were getting stranger; he felt they would
> eventually lead him to the source of the wind, the mountain, to the
> very last sentence.
> (BL)                                                      *
> 
> 
>    *
>                                                    *
>                               #7#
>            #   *
> 
>                                   #
>             *        And he stood there alone.    #1
>                        #
>   *                                           
> 
> 
>             ##4
> (D)                                             #
> Stuff to do during the day so as to stay awake passed the 77th hour:
> don't walk around, from one end of the city to the other; don't walk
> down some railroad tracks, walk back; don't read; don't watch TV;
> don't work, no fun; don't panhandle for loose change; don't protest
> something; don't do anything, just rest, go down to the park, lay down
> under a tree, use only thoughts, to repel the white lapses,
>                                               *
>   *   5#
> 
> Stuff to do during the night: write a little, from memory, from the
> past day,
> then position self supine, and wait for black one's.
> 
> 
> 
>   *
>                       *        #6
> And put this thought in your pretty little head, maybe after another
> and another black lapse, up until sometime after the 77th hour, more
> and more parts of her and the whole world slowly disappearing, or
> something
> weird like that, finally the black mountain will be lifted off on this
> place, off and away, something cool like that. 
> 
> 
>    *
>                                   * *
> "Bitch, you ain't got no mojo." 
> 
> Some funny little critters were dancing around an old couple, and some
> danced better than others.
> 
> "So you two have been together for over fifty years."
> 
> "See those two boys near the tree watching the girl over there?" 
> 
> The couple nodded to the girl. 
> 
> "The girl thought she loved one of the boys a little more but then one
> boy killed the other boy so then the girl ended up loving the boy that
> was still around. Why?"
> 
> The woman looked at her husband and said, "it's a trap; she wants to
> lure us in."
>  
> "Or how about those two girls watching that boy; one of the girls died
> and the one still around ended up being loved by the boy."
> 
> "Why."
> 
> The old man started to break dance, and the old woman put her hands on
> her knees.
> 
> "Ever wonder how two people come together?"
> 
> The critters started to run away. They both shrugged.
> 
> "Boys and girls die so you two can be together."
> (D)
> 
>                                 *
> 
>   *         
> 
> (BL)
> Sleep, sleep, sleep, tomorrow will be different, you'll be able to
> live with the promises you broke, and then one day you won't even wake
> up at all, entered his mind, and these were unlike the grey lapses,
> these were more sincere, he wouldn't be able to keep his promise to
> the child left on the mountain, the black lapses kept him from coming
> any closer. The fragment
> startled little child embracing a balloon that went pop flickered for
> a moment and then the sky went black again. He lifted his head off the
> ground and looked around. He didn't know where he was, nothing was
> familiar, where he was suppose to go, and there was no one beside him,
> no one around. He stopped the sentences, she didn't leave him, he
> didn't leave her, never any relationship, only a couple of one night
> stands, he needed to be honest to himself, and he was never alone, not
> then, not seven years later, he belonged with those from the black
> patch, only motives to keep thought going, he hoped to use them to be
> able to keep his promise but they weren't enough, they weren't enough
> to pass through the lapses, and he sure didn't want them to be his
> last thoughts. He wanted to get to the black mountain; wanted the day
> after the seventy seventh hour; he wanted to keep his promise, the
> promise to the child with the black ribbon.
> 
> 
> 
>                                                       *
> 
> (E)
> The remains of the dead baby were on one of the mountain's ledges.  
> 
> 
> 
> And that makes all the difference, pieces of a person still here, if
> not the soul, still alive, and another dead and listening to a
> cricket. Don't even need to listen to a cricket to learn that, proof
> in us all, alive today, well as sure to be alive tomorrow.
> 
> Wonder who you killed on your way to 
> 
> They may not be dead now but they'll be dead, and you'll/you both
> still be around somewhere, some future someone gazing off then
> unexpectedly smiling, that be you/you both smiling, some piece that
> was in you now in them,
> 
> Good title for a story: wonder who you killed on your way to a happy
> life.
> 
> Can you see the soul in one person, say a father or mother, and see
> that same soul in one of their children, and doesn't have to be
> complete, that is, interfere with the autonomy of a person, but, I
> guess, also known as a characteristic, like a smile, she has her
> father's eyes, she has her mother's temper, maybe same thing as the
> soul; don't know that much about the stuff.
> 
> Anybody alive must have a good soul then, they be alive, anyone else
> dead.
> 
> 
> 
> DNA are the instructions that put life together; if anywhere the soul
> be in there; our souls are carried forward by our children, et al
> spiny C+.
> 
> maybe you're afraid she cares more, so many ways to do nothing in this
> life; why didn't she happen to fall into one;
> 
> think and write, think and write, think and write, think and write
> 
> 1997, seven years ago, took me awhile to put it together, only
> instructions that put life together, only instructions.
> 
> Cut and slice, 
> (E)
> 
> 
> (F)
> And then there's 1997, some killings still happen the same old way,
> left on a mountain top, the woods, or a salt shaker in a glass of
> water,
> 
> 
> what is this soul in man, the soul is a mother or father holding their
> baby, and the soul is passed on and on. Can the soul stop, sure can,
> by not having a baby, that's the reason why making sure the soul
> continues is so important,
> make black white, wrath to grace, pop songs, and cool sit-coms. 
> 
> He killed a man's/woman's soul from continuing and got fifteen years.
> He got out and married, and had two children. Some souls are sure
> better than others.
> 
> On and on, and on and on,
> 
> The tail will catch up to the head someday. 
> 
> 
> 
>  
> 
> 
> 
> Only reason to court to check whether someone can keep their promises,
> that be make money, shelter, protection, smarts, muscle, misc., or to
> find out their promises are a lie, not going to do enough to ensure
> eternal life, so to seek someone who can without wasting anymore
> youth/time. He didn't need to change that, she left him on the cold
> beach, right before the pacific expanse, maybe because he/she sensed
> that he couldn't ensure that she/they would live forever, that meant
> changing/continuing the world and people to make sure their baby had
> the best chance to continue the same. 
> 
> And he risked everything, risked even hope. 
> 
>      * 
> 
>                           *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
>                 *
> 
>     Your soul continued here but others changed here all so their
> souls could continue better, that make any sense.
> 
>     Dude scratched his head. There changing here more and more. 
> Yup
> 
> 
> Makes you wanna try to change stuff too uh. 
> 
> My soul has gone as far as possible. 
> 
> I have no right. What right does anyone have? Some souls are better
> than others. Proof is in the pudding, and everything that come after
> because of that.
> 
> -
> 
> He no longer had any promise anyone could trust. They are changing the
> world and people by force to insure their eternal life; he expected to
> help them or something.
> 
> Mom and Dad worked till they both drop dead one day, and for what.
> They would never understand, any moment God's wrath rained merciless.
>                *
> 1: water purifier, 2: instant live eggs, 3: growth food; guaranteed to
> live two years; 95 cents postage and handling 
> 
> I'm alive, the fiery mountain, the day after the 77 hour. 
> 
> Most normal nights, not any thoughts, stop prayers long time ago, only
> wake up to another morning, an intermission, plenty food and plenty of
> women, some snapping at bling bling, others a couple of nods when they
> speak of stuff, then, eventually, curtains closing, opening, mangas
> colored rojo, the cream rising to the top, crap sinking.
> 
> Possible state of mind after the 77th hour: fucking really tired, and
> like any other night, not caring to ever waking up again; at the
> steppe of the black mountain; or, wondering what 38402 93845 02038 938
> 9 84  9 is up to. State of body: p 100, bp 150/90, r 25, t 36.0
> 
> Possible states of the body and mind after love: some bodily fluids
> over a white sheet, maybe some moaning if she really loves you; or
> someone in a trashcan, let someone build on a lie, someday a house of
> cards crashing down.
> 
> .... 
> 
> False start: an utterance then abandoning it, sometime before the end,
> and starting a new idea,
> 
> What if one followed a false start to the end, done in argument though
> rarely?
> 
> Amethyst hippos go to the upside down Marshmallow Mountains every year
> for fun and stuff. Usually after amethyst hippos the statement stops
> and changes to something like this, amethyst hippos don't exist unless
> someone paints them.
> 
> Stuff been done before in stories, a false start, and then the end,
> more or less, two people just looking at each other, maybe hugging, or
> some dude in a dark room looking out of a window, 3 A.M., snow
> falling, a faraway light, something like that.
> 
> And believe me, worse, fucking heart breaking, poor kid disqualified
> from a swimming meet, or far worse, stuff that'll
> make tears run down your cheek, at least for a little while.
> 
> 
> Salt shaker in a glass of water speaks to artificial sweetener, TA
> diner remember, I80, East of Chicago, 97
> 
> "And why does your love include having more than one baby?"
> 
> "Nobody wants to stop your love!"
> 
> "If anything, she wants to strength it. Nothing better than two
> people, even with death we'll never part, everyone, everything, else
> fucking corrupting that, adulterated it." Really fucking sickening, we
> think.
> 
> "No one's gonna come between your precious love, silly; you two have
> nothing else."
> 
> "Unless something else is going on, something to do with your eternal
> life, killing other life, halting any other life from having a chance,
> or something, you think."
> 
> "16 8 4 2, and guess what, there is more mercy in that than the mercy
> given to others.
> 
> "Live with it, we all don't for very long, you'll figure that out. 
>  ....
> 
> (F)
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
>    *    
> 
>                                *
> 
> *                     *
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> (A) reprise   
> The first time he tried to pass the black lapse he. . .and woke up the
> next morning feeling disappointed.
> 
> Larry was holding the hand of a little child, then they both turned
> and disappeared up the crooked path. He kept staring, imagining them
> waiting for him but he knew he would never reach them in time. And he
> wanted to there with them, alive, more than anything. They waited, and
> he sat down beside them under the green tree on the hill
> 
> 
> Why has man concealed that the soul is really passed on and on through
> fucking and stuff. There is evidence for that, anywhere someone is
> watching someone else hold their infant child. The infant is usually
> thought as a separate person, as if the child can belong to anyone,
> when, evidence contradicts that, and that may explain many motives.
> Maybe some souls are better than others, look around, read some
> history books, lot of people look strangely a like. Anyway, stuff has
> been covered, boring kinda, reason why people get up in the morning,
> reason why they'll do anything to further their soul. If the soul can
> be furthered 2 4 8 16, some turkeys sacrificed on the way, then it
> sure as hell can be furthered 16 8 4 2.
> Where does the soul of a person go when the person dies?
> 
> 
> Is the soul the same as personality? 
> 
> 
> Does thought have a soul? 
> 
> 
> The child softly said, don't need me to tell you your soul will stop
> too. The child soon ran off after a black butterfly and disappeared
> over a sand dune. Larry lit some one hundreds, and then Larry spoke,
> what so fucking difficult for you to understand, not anyone's fault
> either, no fucking conspiracy, people's only interest is in furthering
> their own soul anyway they can and if they can't they get mad and,
> Larry paused and stoked, smoke slowly disappearing from his lips, and
> then continued, terrible stuff sometimes happen.
> 
> Make the fucking connection, love, fucking, kids, and a kingdom,
> behind everything someone does, good or bad.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> The child reappeared holding a black ribbon, and behind the child the
> clouds were starting to change color, and he was overwhelmed with
> sadness.
> 
> 
> "Promise me."
> 
> 
> (A)             *                                *
> *
>               *     14      * *                         86*
>   *                                        95*
>  239       *    59                                    
>                        7  
>   *                 *                          ##    *               
> *           *77
>          *   *                   *  ##        *        68       * 
>                   *      *                         *                  
>       *##                             ##
>    *                                               #
> *                             #              ##
>               *             *# #          ## ##
>          455                  ## ##        ##0  #  ##              *
>   *                 *    #  ### #  # ## ###   ##### *               
> *           *           # #4# ##  # # ##  #### ###
>          *   *        ### ##   # ###  ### # ### ####              
>       *           1# ## # ## ##### ##  ## ##   ### #7##        
>    *     ### ##    ### # #6# ##     # ## ### #    ##  ## ##       
>        ##    ##  ###    ###  ### ##   ### # ## #       ## # #         
> *  ## ## ## #### 45## #### ### ## # #### # 6# # # ## ## ## ###
>              ##      ##     * *                           *##
>   *          #                      ##     *                          
>         *            ##      ##
>         ##             *             ##                   ###*
>                        ##         ##     #
> *           *                   ##                      ##
>         #*   *     ##      ##    *         ## *               * 
>        ##         *      *                         *  ##              
>       *                      ##              ##
>    *##                        ##
> (BL)
> He sat up, brushing some of the snow and sand off his legs. The wind
> was starting to flow the opposite direction; he could see the mountain
> above the horizon and the dark orange glow behind it. The mountain was
> moving up and away. He wouldn't be able to keep his promise but he had
> faith in one that would.
>            ##
>              #
>               #
> 
>   And he remembered seeing a bug in a toilet;
>               # 
>      he remembered how the wet bug felt in his hand as he walked
> towards an exit; and then the black lapse over took him, and he was no
> more.
>                 
> (BL)
> 
>             the end
> 
> 
> [more of the same, surreal stuff, lucid dreaming etc.; first part
> introduction to the phenomenon: inability to stay awake, and if awake
> for too long the body and mind puts an end to that through, call them
> whatever, black lapses, nodding off, and why so, what thought is it
> trying to prevent the mind from putting together; and then what
> follows, second part, the usual, some stuff that'll have gramps or
> some future gramps mad, same fucking gramps thinking they be the whole
> reason why world and other people, ideas, are existent, since the
> whole world rests on their shoulders, of course, or something; and
> then the  requiem, third part, maybe the kid gets to the mountain, the
> day after the seventy seventh hour, or maybe this lapse finally puts
> him down, or maybe he wakes up the next morning, one day closer to
> death, one day closer where he will be no more. 
> 
> 
> 
> Anyway going for seven vignettes, not really sure how I am going to
> link them other than they all attached to the black lapses, and need
> to step away from this work for awhile, come back later, mind's fried.
> 
> 
>                  The black lapses
>                 /                \
>                  
>                     G --  B -- C
>                              /  \
>                             E    \   
>                       A    /  \  |
>                           D     F
> Just more ideas behind my vignettes, and they themselves supporting
> the phenomenon, the black lapses,  nodding off, just like the
> phenomenon of false dawns
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ]
    

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