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Subject: The Pool (ped, slow, noir)
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Date: Sun, 20 Jun 2004 06:01:21 +0000
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The Pool (ped, slow, noir)
by Randi Reynolds
"You should wear that two-piece I got you for your b-day, Kris -- Kevin is
working the afternoon shift." Kris blushed, but smiled at her friend. She
stepped into her one-piece swimsuit, pulled on a pair of cutoffs, and then
looked at her friend Caryn, who was standing in the door of her bedroom.
"No, it just doesn't feel right. What if I send him the wrong message?
He's cute and all, but..."
"Wrong message? Kris - when a girl wears a bikini, there's only one
message she can send...Duh!" Caryn let a note of frustration creep into
her voice. Kris, recognizing Caryn's tone, braced herself for The Lecture,
which she knew was coming. "You think he's attractive, right? You want
him to notice you, right? You are attracted to him, right? Stop me when
I
say something you don't agree with. He's sixteen and already has his own
wheels. He goes out of his way to talk to you. What is your problem,
Kris?"
"Well, for one, he's two years older than I am. And he gets to watch lots
of girls at the pool, so why should he pay special attention to me? That
bikini you gave me is pretty demure, compared to Ellen's, or even yours.
And how can I compete with Ellen's breasts? Besides, I get the feeling
that he collects girls like you collect boys."
Kris smiled at this last, to take away any offense. Kris was not unaware
of the attention Kevin paid her, and was, in all honesty, a bit flattered
by it. She pictured him in her mind, red hair, crooked smile; swimmer's
body clad only in his lifeguard issue red Speedos. She had even fantasized
about him once, caressing her breasts and mons while gazing at a newspaper
photo of him taken during the regional swim meet in Phoenix. But that was
over a month ago, and she'd not thought about him like that since.
Still, why not wear it? After all, Caryn did buy it for her. The least
she could do is wear it. "OK, you win. Hang on a sec." She slid out of
the one piece, and donned the bikini, adding a tee shirt to complete the
ensemble. Picking up her pool bag, she looked up at Caryn. Maybe now
she'll stop teasing me about Kevin.
Caryn, pleased that her quiet friend was at least trying to be female,
nodded and quickly changed the subject. The two girls left Kris' house and
cycled to the community pool, and by the time they arrived, Kevin the
lifeguard was ancient history. Since Kris had modestly donned her swimsuit
at home, she bypassed the public changing room and went straight out to the
pool. They arrived just after opening time, so there were lots of vacant
lounges near the pool. Kris quickly found two choicely located lounges and
claimed them for her and Caryn. Glancing at the lifeguard tower, she saw
that Kevin was already waving hello at her. She gave him a brief, ten-watt
smile to be polite, and then ignored him.
It was a community pool, and everybody knew everybody else. As the
regulars began to show up, Kris and Caryn greeted all their friends and
neighbors. Tucson, Arizona, like most of the rest of Arizona, reaches
scorchingly hot temperatures in the summer. Nearly every housing
subdivision in southern Arizona built since the seventies included a
community center with a pool. Both girls had spent much of every summer
since they were toddlers at this pool, and they knew nearly everybody. But
today, a woman neither girl had seen before sat down on the last vacant
lounge next to them. She smiled at Kris and Caryn as she sat down on the
lounge, said hi, and then buried her head in a paperback.
"Oh, here comes Dylan and Ellen. I need to talk to them. You want
something from the snack bar?" Caryn was already up and unselfconsciously
arranging her swimsuit bra to reveal as much of her fourteen-year-old
cleavage as she could. Ellen was practically falling out of her bikini
top, and Caryn was trying to provide as much competition as decorum and her
smaller breasts would allow. Dylan was pretending to be looking everywhere
but at Ellen's breasts. Caryn was at that post-pubescent, pre-adolescent
stage where boys occupied much of her thought. Boys were becoming a
mystery, and were a source of constant speculation. She still enjoyed
playing with her dolls, but now she enjoyed playing with boys too. She
wished Kris would hurry up and realize that boys, for the most part, were
just a new kind of toy to play with.
Kris watched her friend stride purposefully towards the couple. Slightly
amazed at Caryn's overt sexual aggressiveness, she glanced down at her own
breasts with a small sigh. There was just a slight suggestion of cleavage
revealed at the suit's demure neckline. Her breasts were small, but were
firm and nearly spherical. The swim suit top cradled them, two mounds the
size of small apples riding high on her chest. Not like Ellen's, who would
no doubt regret their size when she reached middle age, or Caryn's, who
would probably end up spending a small fortune on keeping her breasts
looking just they way they did now, conical, pert, and firm. Wondering if
it was jealously or envy she was feeling, she glanced over at Kevin on his
tower, but like the unfortunate Dylan, he was trying not to stare too
obviously at Ellen. Ellen and Dylan had stopped by his tower, and with
Caryn heading toward them, he now had two sets of mammary glands competing
for what little attention he could spare from the pool.
She swung her gaze around the pool, watching her friends flirt with the
boys. Damn, that is a tiny bikini, Caryn! Caryn's pert little ass was
neatly cradled by a small triangle of cloth, which clung to hips that still
carried baby fat. Ellen had obviously purchased a B cup for her C cup
breasts and was happily basking in all the male attention she could get.
With a start, Kris realized that pretty soon, she would be competing with
Caryn and Ellen and the rest of her female friends for the attention of the
boys. It was inevitable. And it made her sad to think of Caryn as her
rival. Well, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it, she thought. What
did her brother say? There's no denying the biological imperative, or
something like that. Kris really felt that she didn't need to compete with
her friends over something like sex, but she also knew she was only
fourteen and didn't really know anything about sex.
With a sigh, she looked around for something to take her mind off her
friends. She glanced over at the woman on the lounge next to her and
noticed that she was reading a novel by one of her favorite authors. She
recognized the PR shot of the author on the back cover, but couldn't see
the title.
"Excuse me, is that a novel by Robert Heinlein?"
The woman lowered the book and looked at Kris over the top of it.
Smiling, she said, "Yes, one of my favorites. 'The Moon is a Harsh
Mistress'. Are you a Heinlein fan?"
"Oh yes, very much so. I've read 'The Number of the Beast', 'Friday' and
'Job,' and 'The Cat That Walks Through Walls' and I'm reading 'To Sail
Beyond the Sunset' right now." She held up her book so the woman could
see. "I really like him!"
"Yes, I do too." The woman sat up and shifted her position on the lounge
so she could face Kris. "He is my favorite author. I've read all of his
novels over and over again. Have you read any of his short stories?"
Kris shook her head. She'd only read those five novels and didn't know
he'd written anything else.
"Well, he's written lots of novels and short stories. Those five novels
you mentioned are the last ones he ever wrote. I actually prefer his work
from the sixties and the seventies." The look of dismay on Kris' face
surprised her. "Oh, my, I'm sorry to hit you with that. Robert Heinlein
is dead. He died in 1988. I'm sorry, I seem to have upset you."
"Oh, no, no... it's OK. I'm just kinda surprised. I had no idea. I
guess I'm just disappointed that there won't be any more novels. I really
like his characters and his themes. I especially like Lazarus Long. I was
hoping he'd write more about him."
"Yes, I know how you feel. However, I think you do have some small
consolation in that you've read only a small part of his work. And if you
think Lazarus Long is a neat character, wait 'til you meet Michael
Valentine Smith. Or Mike the Holmes Mark IV computer. Or drop with Lt.
Rico and the MI on a bug hunt. Or meet the man who sold the moon, DD
Harriman. I envy you, in a way, because ahead of you is some of the best
science fiction ever written." The woman stared intently at Kris, as if
seeing her clearly for the first time. "You are so young! I mean," she
quickly added, seeing Kris' eyebrows arch, "most people your age have never
heard of Robert Heinlein, much less read anything he wrote."
Pleased in an obscure way, Kris nodded. She'd tried to get Caryn to read
'Friday', but Caryn just couldn't get into it. Kris and the woman chatted
for a long time about their favorite author, until they were interrupted
by
the arrival of Caryn from the general direction of the snack bar.
"Here's your Coke, Kris. Kevin wants to know if you want to eat lunch
with him. He goes off-shift in about ten minutes. Oh, I'm sorry. I
didn't mean to interrupt."
The woman laughed and said, "That's OK, I have to get back to the house
and finish a project." To Kris, she said, "It was nice talking to you,
even though I don't know your name. I'm glad to meet a fellow Heinlein fan
so soon after arriving in a new place. Thanks for talking with me."
At this, Kris quickly introduced herself and Caryn. The woman shook hands
with them, and said, "My name is Theresa, Theresa Reynolds. Call me Terry.
It was very nice meeting you." Theresa picked up her small beach bag,
her towel, and her book and with a final smile for the two girls, walked
towards the pool exit.
"So who was that?" asked Caryn, sipping at her Seven-Up.
"A new friend, I think. We both really like Robert Heinlein, and she
knows an awful lot about him."
"A new friend? She's twice our ages. At least twice our ages."
"What does age have to do with it? She seems nice enough. And she was
surprised that someone our age had even heard of Robert Heinlein. That
made me feel really grown up."
"Well, I know something that will make you feel grown up. You should go
over and talk to Kevin. Did you see the way Kevin and Dylan couldn't take
their eyes off me and Ellen? It was great!"
The rest of the day passed in the usual routine. She went to lunch with
Kevin, but declined his offer of a ride home when the pool closed.
Pedaling home, she decided not to go to the pool the next day. Instead,
she decided she would go to the library to look for the Heinlein novels she
hadn't read yet.
* * *
Terry packed her pool bag, said good-bye to Caryn and Kris, and left
quickly. All the way home, the arousal she felt as she talked to Kris
blossomed. Lisa had gone a long way to easing the guilt from her mind, but
she was still fighting the cultural taboo against being sexually attracted
to a teenager. Lisa had been only about two years older than Kris,
physically, but seemed far older mentally, which made it a lot easier to
rationalize, somehow. But Kris was extraordinarily attractive, and
obviously very intelligent. Just like Lisa. The thought of Lisa pushed
her over the edge. Arriving at home, Terry sat down on the sofa in the
living room. With an image of Lisa in her mind, Terry let her hand wander
under the waistband of her shorts to gently caress her mons. Well, she
told herself as a small orgasm quaked through her body, I am definitely
attracted to Kris. But I won't press her: I'll just make sure she knows
I
am attracted to her.
* * *
Kris arrived at the library the next morning right as it opened. She made
a beeline for the table with the online catalog terminals. She called up
everything in the library's database with "Heinlein" in the author field
and was mildly surprised at the length of the citation. The branch of the
public library she was at only had copies of the five books she'd already
read. She expanded the search to include other libraries in the city, and
was disappointed to find that no other library in town had a novel by
Robert Heinlein that she hadn't already read. Sighing with frustration,
she asked the reference librarian about an interlibrary loan. She'd once
got a book on ballet that her library didn't have, but was able to borrow
from a library in Scottsdale. The librarian was helpful, but in the end,
managed only to frustrate Kris even more. It turned out the library
wouldn't do an interlibrary loan for a book that was currently in print and
available for less than $5.00. Since Robert Heinlein was a major author,
all his books were currently in print and available in paperback.
The librarian looked at Kris closely, seeing the disappointment in her
eyes, and tried to cheer her up, saying, "Well, you are the youngest person
I've ever seen who wanted a Robert Heinlein novel. Even his juvenile
novels were aimed at much older teen-agers than you. You must be quite a
reader."
She thanked the librarian for her time, and decided to invest some of her
baby-sitting money at the Barnes and Noble bookstore in the mall. She
walked back over to the terminals to get hardcopy of the Heinlein titles
to
take with her to the bookstore. She was pleasantly surprised to see
Theresa Reynolds sitting in front of the terminal she had used.
"Hi, Ms Reynolds. How are you? That is a very pretty sundress."
"Oh fine, Kris. Thank you. I wish I could wear cut-offs and a tee shirt.
It must be nice to be young. Is this your Heinlein bibliography?" Kris
nodded. Kris said, "Send it to the printer, would you please?
Just hit the "print" button."
Kris walked over to the Laserjet in the corner, and waited for her list to
spool. Terry joined her. While they waited, Kris told her about the
library's policy, and got a sympathetic chuckle from the older woman. She
concluded by telling her she planned on buying as many titles as she could
find at the bookstore. Jokingly, she said, "If you know of anybody who
needs a baby-sitter, let me know. Judging by the size of this list, I'm
going to need the money if I ever want to read them all."
Terry laughed and said, "Well actually, I have an eleven year old
daughter, but I really have no problem leaving her alone for an evening if
I go out on a date. But if I'm out of town overnight, which happens fairly
often in my line of work, I'll give you a call."
"Oh, thank you." Suddenly, Kris ran out of conversational steam. This
bothered her, because she really wanted to talk about Heinlein with Ms
Reynolds, and had figured she wouldn't get an opportunity again until she
ran into her at the pool once more. And here she was, talking about
baby-sitting. Rather lamely, she said, "Well, I'm going to head over to
the mall." And then, kind of desperately, she added, "Will you be at the
pool again?" And then blushed, realizing that she did sound kind of
desperate.
If the older woman noticed Kris' sudden discomfiture, she disguised it
well. Putting her hand on Kris' arm, she said, "You know what? I'm
famished. I didn't eat breakfast. I'm going to the mall to get an early
lunch and do some shopping. I could give you a ride...it's so damn hot out
there. I have a bike rack if you don't want leave your bicycle here."
Kris nodded happily. The girl and the woman walked out into the parking
lot. Kris unlocked her Cannondale and wheeled it over to where Terry was
waiting by a current model Nissan Pathfinder. There was one bike already
in the two-bike rack on the roof, a Specialized Crossroads. Together, they
lifted Kris' Cannondale onto the rack.
"Nice car," said Kris, as they pulled out of the library parking lot. We
almost bought this model, but my brothers and I talked our parents into
getting a 'Vette instead. Do you like Corvettes?" Terry had one eye on
the road, and the other on Kris. Kris had sat down with her knees spread,
and Terry had a nearly unobstructed view of Kris' panty-clad mons through
the baggy leg holes of her cutoffs. She paused to drink in Kris'
unconscious eroticism before she replied.
"Actually, I used to have a 'Vette, a '69 Stingray. It was a present from
my parents when I finished my dissertation. I sold it about three years
ago. I think my daughter misses it more than I do. I had a Chevy Suburban
for a long time, and only sold it just before we moved here to Tucson. The
Suburban was just too much of a gas-guzzler for out here. I'm not used to
having to drive hundreds of miles to get to a job site. Only Arabs and
Americans build cities in the middle of a desert...the Arabs because they
have to, and the Americans because they can." She smiled at Kris.
"Where did you move from?"
"Ottawa, Canada."
"Oh. Neat. Why did you come to Tucson?"
The mall was several miles from the library. By the time they'd parked
and walked to a restaurant, Kris felt like she'd known Terry for a long
time. They were well on the way to becoming close friends. As they walked
into the mall, Terry put her hand on Kris' arm and said, "Are you hungry?
Would you care to join me for brunch?" Kris nodded eagerly. In the
restaurant, Terry ordered pesto with smoked trout, so Kris did too. After
eating, with a conspiratorial wink at Kris, Terry ordered a Margarita and
then gave half to Kris. Terry watched as Kris, a bit dubious, sipped at
it
and then wrinkled her nose. Terry laughed as Kris politely poured it back
into Terry's glass.
Terry and Kris talked all afternoon long. Kris was amazed not only at the
depth of knowledge Terry had about Heinlein's novels, but about the wide
range of her knowledge in general, and the curiosity that had contributed
to the creation of that knowledge. And she was very happy that Terry
didn't try to talk around "sensitive" subjects like sex. Terry was frank
and straightforward about everything, and Kris was eating it up. It made
her feel so grown up to be treated this way by an adult. At first, when
Terry broached the subject of Heinlein's attitude towards women and sex,
Kris was a bit uncomfortable, but Terry was discussing it in such a
matter-of-fact way, that Kris vowed she would be just as mature about it
as
any adult would be.
Fairly soon, she no longer felt uncomfortable at all, and eventually
shocked herself by initiating a discussion on Heinlein's attitude towards
masturbation and homosexuality. This was a topic that she hadn't even
discussed with her best friend Caryn. Yet, she found that she could tell
Terry quite calmly and almost dispassionately about her own masturbation
fantasies. Terry simply nodded, and pointed out that no man, not even a
sexually enlightened elitist like Heinlein, could really understand the way
women experience eroticism and sexuality.
"For instance," Terry said, "In 'Time Enough for Love', Lazarus has grown
so morose over the fact he has literally known the joys and sorrows of
thirty normal human lifetimes that he wants to die. For Heinlein the
ultimate eroticism is something that can distract even a terminally
suicidal person. And, according to Heinlein, it seems that masturbation
is
the highest form of eroticism. So Lazarus makes love to himself, via his
clones, Laz and Lor. After all, who can explore your sexuality better than
you can? Of course, in Heinlein's typical elitist way, even masturbation
takes on epic proportions."
"How do you know Heinlein meant it as masturbation? It seems more like
incest to me."
"I think the main clue, and the clincher for me, anyway, was the title of
that chapter in the book - 'Narcissus'."
"Ah, I see. The Greek myth about the danger of self-love. Yes, that
would be consistent." Kris paused. "Terry, what's the difference between
sexuality and eroticism? Aren't they pretty much the same thing?"
"Mmmmm...let me think. I think they are complementary. I guess it boils
down to the difference between biology and sociology. Eroticism wouldn't
exist outside a cultural context. And sexuality is little more than your
limbic system expressing some fundamental Darwinian theories about species
survival. Reproduce or die, basically. And still, they are both versions
of what Heinlein calls Eros. As opposed to Agape, which is a kind of
sexless love with all the intensity of sexual lust. Eroticism is more
abstract than sexuality." Terry noticed that Kris was hanging on every
word, watching her intently, clear eyes gazing steadily into her own. She
decided to try a small gambit.
"Our sexuality is determined biologically. I have pheromone receptors
that make me respond sexually. So do you, and so does that waiter over
there. And so does every animal on the planet that reproduces sexually,
in
fact. But only sentient beings can be erotic. It is possible for me to
imagine you in a black string bikini and find that erotic. But it is
equally possible for that waiter over their to not find you erotic at all,
no matter what you wear. Or don't wear, as the case may be." Terry
paused, inviting a comment from Kris.
But Kris was nodding her head, and didn't seem to notice the incongruity
of a woman perceiving another woman as an erotic object.
Well, that's encouraging, Terry thought. She went on. "Eroticism
requires a capacity for abstraction. Remember Dora, and Gay Deceiver, and
Minerva, and Athena? They were computers, but Heinlein suffused them with
more sexuality than many of his flesh and blood creations. There is
nothing particularly erotic about a computer with a libido. But create a
flesh and blood receptacle for that sexuality, and let it be expressed for
the first time, and wham, instant eroticism." Terry saw the glazed look
in
Kris' eyes, and laughed.
"Clear as mud, no doubt. Let me try that again."
The whole afternoon passed in this vein. In deference to Kris, Terry
drank ice tea, while Kris consumed Coke after Coke. When they finally left
the restaurant, both were startled to see the sun sinking low in the west.
Kris went into a mild panic. "Oh no! I told my mom I'd be home by
six-thirty. And I haven't even got the books I came here for. I'm trying
to build up my parents' confidence in me, show that I can be reliable. And
here I am, being irresponsible. What time is it?" Terry saw that Kris was
becoming rather agitated.
"It's twenty-five after six. Here -- call your mom and tell her you are
going to be about fifteen minutes late." Terry pulled a Motorola Iridium
cel phone out of her shoulder bag and handed it to Kris. "Don't worry,
Kris," she said, seeing the doubtful look on Kris' face. "Believe me, if
you call her before you're late and tell her you are going to be late, it
is much better than trying to explain yourself when you finally do get
there. And be honest with her. Tell her you let the time get away from
you. I know these things. I'm a mother too, you know."
Much to Kris' surprise, her mother just said thanks for calling, and
suggested she buy a watch. Terry watched Kris on the phone and saw her go
from agitation, to relief, to excitement in about thirty seconds. In fact,
Kris was almost jumping up and down as she talked to her mother. Curious
at the rapid change, Terry arched her eyebrows at Kris. Kris acknowledged
Terry with a nod and continued to talk eagerly with her mother.
"Great! When do they get in? That is just so cool. I can hardly wait
to see them. Bye!" Kris folded up the phone and handed it back to Terry.
She was so excited she was actually was hopping up and down. In her
excitement, Kris gave Terry a big hug, and Terry felt a little tingle as
Kris pressed her taut young breasts against her ribcage. The source of
Kris' excitement was the prospect of seeing her two brothers. On the way
home, Kris talked on and on about them. Terry could tell that Kris was
very fond of her siblings, and was slightly amazed when she realized Kris'
older siblings were older than Terry herself. One was a major in the
American Air Force and flew secret planes, and the other was the owner of
an internet service provider in California. Kris was saying, "Jason has
been in Bosnia for ages, doing secret stuff with his stealth fighter
squadron. He's just been promoted below-the-zone to light colonel and he's
taking some leave to celebrate. Evan has been in Pittsburgh, giving
testimony to an appellate court about the Communications Decency Act. The
court declared it unconstitutional, so he's taking a vacation to celebrate
as well. I haven't seen either one since my twelfth birthday, and now they
are both going to be in Tucson. I'm so excited!"
Noticing the faintly quizzical look on Terry's face, Kris stopped her
soliloquy on her brothers, and explained the twenty-year difference in
their ages. "My dad was diagnosed as having inoperable cancer of the liver
about fifteen years ago. Both my brothers were away at college, Jason at
the Air Force Academy, and Evan at Ohio State. The doctors gave him six
months to live, with a progressive failing of his health. Six months
later, to the day, he was just as healthy as ever. I was conceived that
night, partly in celebration, and partly in defiance of the doctors. And
he is still alive today, doing fine."
Terry pulled the Pathfinder to the curb in front of Kris' house. They got
out and retrieved Kris' bike from the roof rack. Kris' mother came to the
door and Kris quickly did the introductions. As Kris' mother went back
inside, Kris said, "Thank you for such a great day. Will you be at the
pool tomorrow?"
"Oh, I think so." Impulsively, Terry kissed Kris on the cheek. "See you
tomorrow." Hesitating, she added, "Look, I monopolized all your time
today, which probably caused you to forget to buy your books. I happen to
have every book Heinlein ever published in my own library at home. After
you've finished the one you're reading, you can work your way through my
collection. It's the least I could do. Save your money, ok?"
"Really? Oh, thank you. That would be great!"
"No prob." She watched Kris wheel her bike into the garage, watching
her hips sway back and forth. Well, I'm in lust, Terry thought. But as
she examined her feelings about Kris, as she did when she was trying to
come to grips with her relationship with Lisa, she realized happily that
whether it was Heinlein's Eros or Agape, she just liked Kris. Period. And
the last shreds of guilt induced by her cultural taboo against sex with a
teen disappeared in the swiftly falling dusk of a Tucson sunset.
The following morning, earlier than usual, Kris showed up at Caryn's
house. "I want to wear a string bikini today. Don't you have a black one
in all those swimsuits of yours?" Caryn, careful to hide her amazement at
this sudden change in her friend, nodded and quickly started going through
her closet.
"Here. Try this. If it fits, keep it; I think I've out grown it, or the
bra, anyway." Caryn watched Kris quickly slip out of her clothes and into
the bikini. The bottom fitted snugly, two thin strings tied in a bow knot
securing the front and back of the panty across Kris' hips. The bra's
triangular cups covered only about two-thirds of each breast, revealing a
little more than she was used to. Glancing in the mirror, she gasped at
her image. That can't be me. Staring back out at her was a different
person. Older looking, somehow. Almost a woman. She caught a strange
expression on Caryn's face in the mirror, as well.
"What?"
"What what?" said Caryn, a bit defiantly, but turning to meet Kris'
puzzled gaze. "You just look, well, more sexy than I thought. Must be the
black. I wish I were a natural blonde." She took a deep breath.
"Actually, you look really sexy. I guess I'm jealous. But I refuse to be
jealous of my best friend." Surprised at this admission from Caryn, Kris
was momentarily nonplussed. Kris had always been slightly envious of
Caryn. Now, seeing the vulnerability in Caryn's eyes, and sensing a
tension between them that had never existed before, she knew she needed to
do something, but was absolutely clueless as to what. So she acted on
instinct. Reaching out, she pulled Caryn close and kissed her softly on
the lips.
"If it wasn't for you, I'd never have realized that I'm a girl. Thanks.
OK?"
Caryn raised a hand, touching her lips where Kris had just kissed her.
Still holding her, Kris felt the tension ease out of her friend, and saw
the vulnerability in her eyes change to a glint of amusement. "And you can
kiss. Who have you been practicing with -- Kevin? No wonder you were
gone so long at lunch the other day. And where were you yesterday, by the
way? Kev didn't show up at the pool, and neither did you."
Kris let go of Caryn, relieved that though their relationship had been
subtly altered, they were still Kris and Caryn. "No, I've never kissed a
boy. Not even Kevin, though he obviously wants to very much. Honest.
Well, my brothers and my father, but they don't count. I went to the mall
yesterday, with Terry. We talked all day about Robert Heinlein. She was
describing the difference between sexuality and eroticism, and by way of
example said I would look erotic in a black bikini. That's why I want to
wear one today. So I can figure out what it means to be erotic."
"I see. I think. And yes, you definitely look erotic. I'm a girl, and
I
think you look sexy. That should tell you something. If I were a boy, I
wouldn't mind kissing you. And not just on your lips, either." On
impulse, she leaned forward and kissed Kris on her left breast, through the
swimsuit, just where her nipple would be. "There. We're even. Now let's
get out of here, before I get jealous again."
As they walked out of Caryn's room, Caryn turned around and went back into
her room. She came back out and said, "Here, you might need this. It goes
with the bikini." Caryn handed a filmy black wrap to Kris. "You are
supposed to wear the wrap when you aren't swimming or sunbathing. It is
supposed to make you look even sexier. Though in your case, I think that
would be overkill. C'mon, let's go."
Kris was still thinking about Caryn, and the way she had kissed her. The
girls had shared kisses on any number of occasions, but this wasn't like
a
thank-you kiss for a birthday present. Kris was lost in thought as they
cycled to the pool. Terry was already at the pool when they got there.
Terry had appropriated three lounges, and Caryn and Kris quickly joined her
at poolside. Kris quickly slipped out of her shorts and tee-shirt. When
Terry saw the black bikini, she was so startled she spilled her ice tea.
Kris leaned over to pick up the plastic cup, which had rolled to a stop at
her feet. Picking up the cup, she sat down on the end of Terry's lounge.
Before Terry could say anything, Kris leaned close.
"Remember what you said yesterday, about you thinking I would look erotic
in a black string bikini? Well, I got this from Caryn. Do you think it
fits your definition of eroticism? I mean, I'm not trying to fish for a
compliment or anything...." Terry, who'd recovered her composure, let her
eyes roam slowly over Kris' body. Unconsciously, Kris had thrown her
shoulders back, and sat posed and poised. Like a goddess in profile,
thought Terry. Long legs, thighs, oval tummy, small but prominent breasts
thrusting against the top, cascading blond hair, dazzling smile. Yep. You
are eroticism defined, Kris. I wish I could take you home with me, right
now.
"Umm. Well, yes. By anybody's definition, I think a nubile fourteen year
old in a black string bikini is erotic." Kris nodded, as if in
confirmation, and rolled over to her own lounge. The rest of the morning,
Terry watched Kris, or more realistically, watched everybody watching Kris,
especially the young boys, who all managed to find some excuse to wander
by
Kris' lounge. Oh, to be fourteen again!
As the morning wore on, Kris became more and more uncomfortable with all
the attention. Caryn would be eating this up, thought Kris. Why do I just
want to leave? At the thought of Caryn, she felt some confusion. Her hand
strayed to her breast where Caryn had kissed her. When it happened, Kris
had felt something. What? As she replayed the scene in her mind, she felt
her confusion grow. How should she feel about it? She just didn't know.
I wonder if this is what it means to be erotic, she thought. Is it
supposed to be this confusing? Maybe I'm just too immature to understand
it. Terry thinks I'm mature, but what would she think of me if she knew
how clueless I really am about this? This new thought bothered more than
any other she'd had that morning.
Terry, who had been watching Kris all morning, saw Kris withdraw farther
and farther into herself as the morning progressed. It's your fault, she
told herself. Kris obviously trusts you and your judgement, or she never
would have shown up in that boy-catcher bikini. She looks genuinely
uncomfortable. Time for a rescue. Checking her watch, she turned to the
two girls. "It's time for lunch. Would either of you like a chicken salad
sandwich, with some yogurt for dessert?"
"Sure," said both girls, simultaneously.
"Well, let's go. Leave your bikes and let's walk. My house is just
around the corner." In deference to public modesty, Kris and Caryn pulled
shorts on over their bikini bottoms. Kris threw her wrap around her
shoulders.
During lunch, the two girls and the woman made small talk. Kris seemed
more relaxed, but still a bit distracted. After they finished, they sat
down in the living room and talked some more. Caryn, who was anxious to
get back to the pool and flirt some more with the boys, was actually
fidgeting on the couch where she sat. Kris, on the other hand, actually
seemed to be quiet, almost withdrawn. Surmising the source of Caryn's
fidgeting, Terry said, "Well, I'm sure the boys are wondering where you two
have gotten off to. Personally, I think I'm going to stay in the AC for
awhile before I go back to the pool. I'm just not acclimated to Tucson
summers yet."
Kris said, "Definitely. It's supposed to be one-fifteen today." Smiling
a little, she added, "I'd rather stay here. Those boys are hot and
bothered enough as it is."
"Oh, please, stay then, if you want. No prob. Do you play chess?"
"Yes, a little," said Kris, then eyed Caryn. She actually didn't want go
back and be the center of all that male attention. She really wanted to
figure out what she was feeling, but she'd also noticed how ready to leave
Caryn was, and was pretty sure she knew the reason. But she didn't feel
right about abandoning her friend. But honesty was the best policy, right?
"I'm going to stay here for awhile, Caryn. I'll catch you later, ok?"
Caryn just nodded. She thanked Terry for lunch, and Terry took her to the
door, where she stopped long enough to blow a kiss at Kris, and then she
was heading down the driveway.
Walking back to the living room, Terry said, "Excuse me while I take a
quick shower. There's more yogurt in the fridge, and plenty of Coke. Help
yourself. My chess set is in there, on the second shelf. Back in a
minute." Terry pointed towards an end table and left the room.
Kris leaned back on the cool leather of the sofa, thighs spread, with her
arms crossed behind her head. Eyes closed, she was enjoying the small
breeze of cold air flowing from the ac register high on the wall opposite
her, and was trying to organize her thoughts. She heard the shower start,
and got off the sofa and found Terry's chess set. "A Trekkie, too, it
would seem," she said to herself, as she arranged the familiar figurines
in
their proper places on the board. A few minutes later Terry came back into
the living room. She'd changed into a short cotton sundress, and was
toweling her hair. Kris waited until she was done and had sat down on the
floor across from her, and then spoke.
"Are you a trekkie?" Kris said, picking up the black rook, a stylized
model of the Enterprise wrought in dark pewter.
"Well, yes, but I think I'm more of a trekker, than a trekkie. Promise
not laugh at me? People find it hard to take self-admitted "Star Trek"
fans seriously."
"Yeah, I know. My brothers loved the show, and got me hooked on the
reruns. But what distinguishes a trekker from a trekkie?"
"Dignity. I still have some." Terry and Kris both laughed. Terry was
relieved to hear Kris laugh. She seemed less tense now.
Kris palmed a black and a silver pawn, and slipped her hands behind her.
She brought them forward, a fist clenched around each pawn, and offered
them to Terry. Terry tapped Kris' left hand and was rewarded with the
silver pawn. Terry opened with the standard king's pawn thrust, and Kris
immediately set up a king's Indian defense. Terry watched Kris castle to
complete her defense, and arched an eyebrow towards Kris.
"Hmm, 'a little chess,' eh? I think you are trying to hustle me. People
who play chess 'a little' don't use the king's Indian."
Kris smiled. "Maybe. My brother says it is a good defense to use when
you are unsure of your opponent's ability. I'm not trying to hustle you.
Actually, I'm trying to impress you."
"Oh. Why?"
"Well, because I like you and I want you to like me, even though I'm only
fourteen and I'mà" she trailed off, realizing she'd just verbalized what
had been bothering her at the pool.
"I do like you -- very much, in fact. Mainly because you are so mature
for your age. I like that. Makes me feel younger."
Kris didn't know how to reply to that, so she just contemplated her next
move. With her defense established, it was time to probe Terry's position
for weakness. She advanced a pawn, opening a diagonal for her queen's
bishop. Terry noticed that Kris did not protect her king-side knight, and
also advanced a pawn, exposing Kris' knight to an attack by her bishop.
Kris brought her other knight up to cover her advancing pawn, evidently
ignoring the threat to her king's knight. Terry immediately captured the
knight. "Kris?"
"Mm?"
"Something was bothering you back at the pool. I think it is still
bothering you. I'm not prying or anything, but you are not your usual
cheerful self."
"Am I that transparent?" Terry nodded, laughing gently. Kris laughed
too, but then got serious. "I've been thinking about what you've told me
about sexuality and eroticism. I am so confused. And I don't know what
I'm confused about." Kris captured Terry's bishop with a pawn, though it
weakened the defense around her king.
Terry looked thoughtful. The last thing she wanted was to confuse Kris
about sex. "Tell me what you are confused about. Sexuality and eroticism
are woven into the fabric of our culture, Kris - if I've confused you about
it, I apologize." Terry watched Kris, who was studying the board. Terry
knew where the king's Indian was vulnerable, and by taking Kris' knight,
had initiated its inevitable collapse. Kris looked up. "I think I should
have protected that knight. Beam me up, Scotty." Kris reached out and
tipped her king over.
Terry smiled. "Hmm. I think you were distracted. I will grant you a
rematch whenever you want. But right now, tell me what is confusing you."
Kris nodded. She leaned back on the couch, arms again crossed behind her
head. She closed her eyes, and spoke slowly, as if she were sorting her
words carefully before letting them go. "I wore this bikini today because
I wanted to try to understand what you meant by eroticism. But I think I
made Caryn jealous. And all those boys -- if this is what it means to be
erotic, I think I'll join a nunnery." Kris sighed, and looked so
woebegone, Terry immediately went to her side and put her arm across the
young girl's shoulder, and tried to comfort her.
"But you hardly left your lounger. Caryn was flirting so heavily with the
boys, I was surprised she even stopped to have lunch. You really didn't
do
anything to make her jealous, Kris. Is there something else? Do you want
to talk about it?"
"Well, sort of, yes, but what started it all happened before we even got
to the pool. Andà" she paused. Terry wouldn't be having these problems,
thought Kris. Is she going to still think I'm so mature and adult when I
tell her how confused this eroticism thing is making me? No way. Better
change the subject for now. Until I get this figured out. But Terry
surprised her.
"Kris, is it something you feel uncomfortable talking about? I understand.
Do you want to change the subject?"
Kris looked up into Terry's eyes, and saw only concern there. She's
trying to help me, and I'm afraid of what she'll think of me.
"You won't think I'm childish or immature?"
"Of course not. Kris, being confused about any number of things is
natural for people." With a sudden intuition, she added, "And adulthood
is
no guarantee that the confusion goes away. Believe me, I know. You are
fourteen, Kris. You have a ways to go yet in the experience department.
Don't let your lack of it interfere with your ability to understand what
experiences you do have. Don't be in such a hurry to grow up."
Kris pondered this for a moment. She realized that Terry was right. She
should be seeking people with experience out, and not be worrying about her
own inexperience. She felt some of the confusion lift. "It's Caryn,
mostly. She's been trying to get me to flirt with the boys, and she teased
me into wearing a bikini the other day. Not this one. But today she got
jealous of me when I put this one on. And that bothered me, because she
is
my best friend and I don't want her to be jealous of me. I didn't know
what to do, so I just kissed her and told her I was glad she teased me into
wearing bikinis. And I could tell this made her feel better. And then she
kissed me back. I've been trying to figure out how I felt about the way
she kissed me. If I hadn't worn this bikini, I don't think it would have
happened. But I wore this bikini today because you said I would look
erotic in it, and I was curious about being erotic." Kris trailed off and
looked at Terry.
"Oh, Kris. Don't worry. Yes you look erotic. To be honest with you,
when I saw you at the pool, I thought, wow, what a little fox, wish I could
look that sexy. So I kinda understand Caryn's point of view. And I think
you did the exact right thing when you kissed her and thanked her. And
when she kissed you back, well, again, to be honest, I think I understand
that, too. You really are erotic. I think Heinlein had you in mind when
he was creating Hamadryad. I think, given half an excuse, I'd want to kiss
you, too. And not just on your lips. But I don't want to scare you or
offend you. It just goes to show what kind of effect a little eroticism
can have on people. Even on friends."
Kris looked thoughtful. "That is almost exactly what Caryn said, about
wanting to kiss me." As she said it, she remembered the feel of Caryn's
lips against the swimsuit's bra. "Would you really want to kiss me?"
"Yes, I would. How do you feel about that?"
"I don't know." As she said it, Kris realized that she wouldn't mind if
Terry kissed her. In fact, she wanted her to, in an odd way. Perplexed,
but again relying on instinct, Kris just did what she felt was right.
Taking a deep breath, she said slowly and carefully, "If I said I wouldn't
mind being kissed by you, would you kiss me?"
Terry just gazed at Kris, who gazed calmly back at her. Terry said, in a
quiet voice, "Kris. Oh my, yes, I would like very much to kiss you."
Leaning towards Kris, Terry brushed her lips gently against Kris' lips.
The contact lasted only a moment, but it was like an electric current
arcing through her body. Terry closed her eyes and savored the sensation.
Terry kissed Kris again, brief, tantalizing caresses with her lips. Terry
could sense that Kris was responding. Gently, she cradled Kris' head and
shoulders with her right arm, and softly laid her back against the armrest
of the sofa. Slipping to the floor by her, Terry began to trail her kisses
farther and farther down Kris' neck. Reaching the swim suit's top, Terry
felt the soft swell of Kris' breast against her lips. With her hand, she
gently slipped the top to the side, revealing the gentle rise of Kris'
breast. Underneath her, she felt Kris shiver slightly. With her tongue,
she traced the aureole, and then pressed her lips softly to the nipple and
sucked gently. Very quickly, the nipple came erect, and Terry was
delighted to feel it stiffen between her lips. She slid the cup back over
the breast, and then trailed her tongue across Kris' chest to her other
breast. She gently eased it free of the top, and then took the entire
breast into her mouth. She heard Kris gasp at this sensation. Terry
mouthed Kris' breast gently for several seconds, and then slipped it back
into the swimsuit top when she felt Kris' whole body shudder under a small
orgasm. On her knees now, she looked down at the recumbent teen-ager.
Kris' eyes were closed, she was breathing rapidly and shallowly, and her
face was faintly flushed.
Terry swung her gaze from Kris' face, down along her body, stopping at the
cut-offs she was wearing over the bikini bottoms. Tentatively, Terry
reached out and unsnapped the shorts, and then ran the zipper down. She
pulled the two flaps to the side. The bikini had slipped enticingly down
the teen's hips, the first swell of her mons just visible above the
waistband of the bikini. Hesitantly, Terry reached out and placed her hand
palm down on Kris' nearly oval tummy, and held it there, coaxing her gently
to slow down her breathing, to deepen the rhythm. Slowly, Kris responded.
Gently, she let her hand slide down her tummy, until it she could feel the
waistband of the bikini against her finger tips. Keeping up a steady
pressure, Terry slid her hand down to Kris' mons and softly cupped it in
the palm of her hand.
Kris was drowning in a sea of sensation. Terry's lips were like
butterflies, fluttering against hers, light as a snowflake, but warm like
summer rain. This was kissing. She was just wondering if this was what
Caryn felt, when she noticed Terry was no longer kissing her on the lips.
She could feel Terry at her throat, her tongue caressing her there, then
her neck. Kris could feel her nipples tingling, and when she felt Terry
slip the suit top aside she shuddered in anticipation, knowing exactly
where Terry's lips were going. As she felt Terry's tongue glide around the
tip of her breast, she gave herself up to the sensation. Oh yes, she
thought. Soon, Kris felt Terry slip her other breast out of the suit top,
and was eagerly anticipating the feel of her lips against her other nipple.
But Terry surprised her, taking her entire breast into her mouth. It was
an amazing sensation, and Kris felt an orgasm surge up through her body.
Kris moved with the orgasm, letting it fill her mind.
She came back to reality. Terry was gently pressing her tummy in a slow
rhythm. She liked the feel of the pressure against her stomach, and soon
matched her breathing to Terry's gentle cycle. She lay like that for
awhile, thinking about what had just happened to her. She knew she needed
some time to think about what she was feeling. Lost in thought, she didn't
react at first as Terry unbuttoned her shorts. The pressure from Terry's
hand was more directly over her vagina now, and it felt so good. But when
she felt Terry cup her mons in her hand, she realized that she wasn't ready
for any more intimacy, just yet. She needed some time to think.
Terry detected a sudden rigidity in Kris, and was taking her hand from
Kris' mons even as Kris grabbed her arm.
"Mmm, no more, please Terry, I'm not quite ready. I'm sorry, it feels so
nice, but I just want to lay here for awhile and think about what just
happened. Just press me right about here, like you were, please? That
felt sooo good." Kris tugged on Terry's arm, and guided her hand back to
her torso, placing it just above her mons, over the waistband of the bikini
bottoms. Terry could just feel the swell of her pubis against her palm.
"Oh yes, right there. Mmmm. That feels great. Thank you, Terry."
Terry was happy that she hadn't pushed Kris past the point of no return.
She could have easily scared her by trying to force her past the point she
wanted to go. Kris seemed relaxed, and Terry just enjoyed Kris' trust in
her. As her hand rose and fell with Kris' even breathing, she wondered
what the future would bring.
"Kris?"
Kris opened her eyes, and smiled at Terry. "Hmm?"
"Are you O.K.?"
"Yes, I think so."
"What are you thinking? Maybe I can help you sort out your feelings right
now." She remembered Lisa asking a very similar question after the first
time they had made love.
"That I probably should head home. I think I need to be alone for awhile.
Do you understand? It's not you or anything, I just need some space."
"Of course, sweetheart. I do understand." She resnapped the teen's
shorts, zipped them up, and then pulled Kris to her feet. Kris slipped the
wrap over her shoulders and stepped into her sandals. Terry walked her to
the door. As Kris slipped out the door, Terry said, "If something is
bothering you about what just happened, please tell me, OK? I promise not
to put any pressure on you about it, but I want you to know that I'm still
your friend."
Kris said quickly, "I know that. And you are still my friend. Thanks for
giving me this space."
Kris walked down the driveway, headed for home, lost in thought.
* * *
A few days later, Kris was still thinking about it. With both her
brothers in town, she'd been too busy having fun with them to think about
Terry. She knew that she wanted to explore her sexuality and eroticism
more with Terry, but had no idea how to convey this to Terry. Realizing
she was no closer to a solution than when was lying on Terry's couch, she
decided to talk to her brothers about it. She loved them like crazy, and
she trusted their judgment. They always seemed to have answers, and even
when they didn't (they were, after all, human) they always made her
problems seem less dire. Her parents were spending that weekend in
Nogales, so she had her brothers all to herself. So Saturday afternoon,
she took them both by the hand, dragged them into the kitchen, and told
them she had a serious problem and needed help. And that she didn't want
Mom and Dad to know about it yet.
Jason got a beer from the 'fridge and sat down on the table across from
Evan and Kris. He said, "OK, Kitten. I've got about 50 days of leave on
the books, and Evan, capitalist running dog businessman that he is, can
take a vacation for the next decade, if he wants. Right Evan? Do you need
lawyers? Guns? Money? Just tell me. I'm yours to command."
Evan nodded. "Anything, Kitten. Name it, and then say my name."
Kris sighed. "I need some advice. About sex."
Jason arched an eyebrow. "Sex? What do you want to know?" Piously, he
said, "The way to a man's heart is through his balls." Kris giggled. To
Evan, he said, "Better keep her away from anything with a Y chromosome,
Evan. Is that nunnery still out there on Country Club, near 5th street?
I
know she's not Catholic, but maybe we can bribe the Mother Superior....
Do
they still make chastity belts? I bet I could find one at an S&M shop."
Turning back to Kris he said, "What size girdle do you wear, Kris?" Jason
winked at Evan, and watched as his little sister rose to the bait.
Indignant as only a fourteen year old little sister can be, Kris retorted
huffily, "Hey...I know about boys, and Y chromosomes, and all that
stuff...I didn't get sex education off the 7-11 porno rack during the dark
ages like you two did. And besides, it's a monastery, not a nunnery, and
yes it is still there. And it's none of your business what size of girdle
I wear." Pause. "What's a girdle?"
"Never mind him, Kris - he still thinks you're a virgin." Now it was
Evan's turn to pause. "Uh, are you? I mean, I know a doctor." He was cut
off short, as he had to duck quickly to dodge the spinning back-kick that
Kris aimed at his head. Kris had blushed crimson, and then stared at him,
an angry glint in her eye.
"Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. What's it to you?" Kris stared down at her
feet for a moment, and then looked up at her two brothers. She put her
hands on her hips, and said in a very quiet but determined voice, "Only
me
and my pediatrician know for sure. What I do with my body is my business.
But because, in some weird way, I kinda trust you two old geezers, I will
tell you that I am "virgo intacto," which in Latin means that I can wear
white at my wedding. If I were to get married today, that is. Who knows
about tomorrow?" Defiantly, she glared at her brothers.
Jason sensed that this wasn't really the problem Kris wanted to talk
about, so he said mildly, "Hey, I'm sorry, Kris. Evan, you are an idiot.
Kris, your sex life is none of our business, unless you choose to make it
our business, which, I should point out, is implied by your interest in our
advice about sex. I will thrash Evan with a wet noodle fifty times for
asking such a dumb question, though, if you will stipulate that because he
loves you in his own dumb way and wants to protect you from harm, kinda
like a puppy dog, that he might have ulterior motives beyond a certain
Y-chromosome dominated curiosity about the sex life of a nubile teen
angel." Jason reached out and put his hands on Kris' shoulders, and then
looked her right in the eye. "I think what Evan was going to say, before
you tried to decapitate him with your sandal, was that he could get you
some birth control pills if you weren't comfortable asking Mom and Dad for
some. And that was a neat kick. You've been practicing. Evan?"
Evan bodily picked up his little sister, gave her a good, tight hug, and
sat down in a chair, Kris cradled in his arms on his lap. He said gently,
"Yes, exactly. I'm very sorry I upset you. Please forgive me. I guess
sex is a sensitive subject, especially for nubile teen angels. If you need
anything, bc pills, or even an abortion, don't hesitate to ask either of
us
for help. And, though you may find this difficult to believe, you can ask
Mom and Dad for help if you need it. I guarantee you that they love you
as
much as we do." He watched the fire dim in Kris' eyes. "And believe me,
Kitten, sex is too much fun to let yourself get hung up over it."
Kris sighed. Of course they wanted to help her. How could she feel angry
at them for trying to help her? Dumb! Smiling happily she hugged Evan as
hard as she could, and then climbed off his lap and leapt into Jason's
arms, and hugged him, too. Then she sat on the edge of the kitchen table.
"Okay, guys, here it is. I've met somebody, and this person is the
neatest person I've ever met -- present company excepted. This person
means a lot to me, and has let me know, in no uncertain terms, that they
are attracted to me. We've gone pretty much beyond the good-friends stage,
mentally and, well, physically too. It kinda scared me, but not in a bad
way, just well, you know, and this person didn't pressure me at all, and
well we stopped, but now I want to let this person know that, well, I
wouldn't mind, and...oh heck, this isn't coming out right."
Jason and Evan let her ramble on. When she paused to catch her breath,
Jason said, "I think we get the picture, Kris. You two were getting hot
and heavy, and you put the brakes on, and now you are worried that this
person may not want a rematch, right?" Kris nodded.
Evan said, "Well that's the easy part, Kris. I had the same thing happen
to me with a girl only a year older than you back in high school. We were
both sexually curious and our explorations got bolder and bolder, and we
were pretty close to actually getting serious. Both of us were virgins,
and right when it was go or no go, it was no go. I worried for weeks that
I'd pressured her too much. I was embarrassed, so I started avoiding her.
One day after swim practice, I saw her standing at the gate, obviously
waiting for me. She kinda smiled and said 'I think we need to go to the
park' which was our code for making out. Well, she was right. We went
straight back here, and while Mom and Dad were out, and Jason was at
football practice, we lost our virginity. So the moral is, tell the person
how you feel, and let nature take its course."
Jason said, "Exactly. I think you should do as Evan's friend did. But
now I'm going to play concerned big brother. I love you, and don't want
you to catch some dreaded social disease. Insist your friend use a condom.
And please don't kick me, I don't have your reflexes anymore, but I need
to say this -- try not to get pregnant just yet, OK? Take precautions."
At this, Kris smiled a private smile.
"Uh, well, ahhh, I haven't told you everything, yet." Jason and Evan
looked at her intently, and Kris could see that they were only interested
in her welfare. God, I love my brothers. Taking a deep breath, she said,
"Uh this person is, well, a lot older than me, and well, I just don't know
how to relate to somebody old like that."
"How old?" They asked it exactly in unison. Kris smiled.
"Well, not as old as you two, but a lot older than me. Early thirties, I
think."
Silence.
"That could be a problem -- for both of you, Kris." Jason grabbed the
bull by the horns. "Look, in this state, if somebody reported you to the
authorities, your friend would go to jail for a long, long time. And
they'd probably figure out some way to throw you in jail, too. Statutory
rape is a big button to push for the right-wing religious nutbars that
flock to this state in droves. Don't get me wrong -- and don't quote me,
I
gotta worry about my security clearance -- but age of consent laws are
pretty dumb. And dangerous if you are not discreet."
Evan nodded, saying, "Yeah. He's really right, you know. We had enough
trouble keeping those kind of moral fascists from shutting down the U.S.
portion of the Internet with that ridiculous Title V section of the telcom
bill, popularly known as the CDA. And they really do seem to flock to
Arizona. If they had an honest-to-god case of child rape on their hands,
even statutory, as this seems to be, they'd make it a cause celebre and
crucify you, your friend, and anybody else they could just to make a point.
They just refuse to accept that not everybody on the planet has their
particular sexual hang-ups." He paused, and then continued. "Kris, you
are physically mature enough to be sexually attractive. Actually, you are
very sexually attractive. Remind me not to let you sit on my lap anymore.
And I believe you are emotionally mature enough to deal with that
attraction. The confusion you are obviously feeling now is understandable
and it will pass. But I think you may need some help in dealing with a lot
of clowns out there who aren't mature enough to deal with your sexuality.
I think we need to discuss the need for discretion. A nubile
fourteen-year-old seen accompanying some adult to the No-Tell Motel is
bound to get the neighbors talking."
"I see your point, but I don't think it applies to me in this case."
Jason shook his head. "Look Kris, we want to help, but you have to
realize that this is a serious situation."
"I know that, and I love you so much for treating me like an adult, and
not like a child. But it really doesn't apply. I...I...still haven't told
you everything."
Intrigued, her brothers looked at each other, and with a perplexed look on
both their faces, turned back to her. Evan said, "Well? Who is he?"
Kris took a very deep breath. "She. My friend is a she. Her name is
Terry, and I really like her, and she was so gentle, and, and...." She
trailed off, and looked helplessly at her brothers.
There was silence for several seconds. Evan finally spoke. "Ah, yes. I
see. Uh, you are right. I don't think anything we said applies. Have to
start over. Shows how conditioned we are, eh, Jason?" Evan steepled his
hands in front of him on the table. Jason got up and got another beer.
Methodically, he opened it, poured it into a pilsner glass, and sat back
down at the table.
Holding the glass in both hands, Jason said, "That do make things
different. I need a moment, Kris."
Oh no, she thought. Whenever Jason hesitated in answering one of her
questions, it usually meant she wasn't going to like the answer. I wonder
if he thinks it is wrong or immoral for me to want to have sex with another
woman? I should have asked him how he felt about homosexuality before I
opened my stupid mouth. Oh, damndamndamn. She felt tears come to her
eyes.
Seeing the look on Kris' face, he added quickly, almost as if he were
reading her mind, "Wait a minute, Kris. It doesn't matter if your friend
is a man or a woman or a boy or a girl. It really, truly doesn't. Please
believe me. I've maintained all my life that sex is simply friction. How
you apply it is up to you. Anything else is simply cultural baggage."
"You don't think that is too perverted of me?"
"Of course not, Kris. Dry your eyes and come here and sit on my lap. Evan
may have a problem with sexy little girls sitting on his lap, but I like
it." Kris quickly snuggled into her eldest brother's arms and blinked
rapidly, her relief driving her tears away.
Evan said, "Well, one thing still applies: Let...Terry was her name? Let
Terry know that you do want some more physical intimacy. And discretion
is
still a good idea, though it will be much easier to accomplish."
Kris nodded. She looked at Jason.
Jason, still annoyed at himself for his momentary hesitation and the
distress it caused his sister, smiled at her and said, "Listen to me,
Kitten. You will never cease to amaze me. I hope your friend realizes
just how lucky she is. But back to your problem. I agree with Evan. I
think all you need to do is somehow tell your friend that you want to make
love to her. Just don't be too overt about your physical relationship in
public. I remember how it was, when I was young and in lust."
"How was it?"
"Well, you will see all the sexually repressed half-humans around you, and
you'll be tempted to flaunt it in their faces. Try to exercise some
restraint in public when you two are together."
"Well, ok, I think I understand that. But the problem is letting Terry
know how I feel, remember?"
"Kris, I don't know how a woman tells another woman she's interested in
her, so I really can't help there, if it is a strategy you are looking for.
In fact, I still have trouble negotiating the barnyard dance, sometimes.
Uh, who made the first move?"
"Uh, I guess, well, I kinda did, sorta, but really I just made it easy for
her. I think she really wanted to, but was just waiting to make sure it
was OK with me. I don't know. I made the first move, I guess. Why?"
"Well, I was thinking that if you reverse-engineered what she did, then
that would be a strategy, but I guess it was not that simple, was it?"
"No, but I think that is a good idea, anyway. Oh, thank you both. I love
you so much. And please, let me tell Mom and Dad first, OK? I mean, if
it
becomes necessary."
"Ahh, the part I was waiting for. Time for a little judicious blackmail.
I've just spent several weeks dodging unfriendly people who were trying to
shoot me out of the sky, and not one barbecue grill within a thousand
miles, which is the operational radius of my 117.... The price of my
silence shall be a two-inch porterhouse, grilled to my exacting
specification, a case of ice-cold Carlsberg beer, and you as my scantily
clad serving wench." Jason leered at his sister and then gave her a wink.
Evan slapped his pockets for his keys, and then pulled on a pair of flips.
"Indeed. That shall be my price, as well. I will deign to pick up the
feastings, since our wench can't buy alcohol yet, or even drive, for that
matter. Fetch me thy piggy bank, girlie."
Posted By Nikki
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