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From: The Sysadmin <root@wingadingairplane.com>
Subject: I got laid courtesy of Bill Gates part 2 of 3 parts
Date: Sun, 16 Oct 2005 01:06:32 -0700
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===================
I got laid courtesy of Bill Gates
A couple of weeks went by since I got the blowjob from M______ _____, the
marketing 'droid. I was working late, tracking down some asshole who was
trying to attack my DNS servers. I had already modified the firewall to
keep his traffic from my servers, and now I was preparing a logic bomb for
his machine. Eat bits, asshole.
Anyway, the phone rang and it was M______ _____, the marketing slime.
"My computer is broken again", she wailed.
"What error message do you get?", I asked her. Funny thing: SAs always ask
that question, and users never learn how important that is.
"It says 'Your ass is mine, Windoze user!'"
Ah. The virus I had prepared and put on our corporate web site had worked!
Microsoft had found a vulnerability in IE, and hadn't figured out how to fix
it, so they were keeping it quiet. Except their security sucks, so the whole
black hat community knew about it. I got a copy of the exploit from a kid in
Florida. I put it in our corporate web server, rigged to work only if the
web server was accessed from her machine. The exploit was programmed only to
work after hours. Because her machine updated the virus database only once a
week, she had a window of vulnerability I could exploit.
"Sounds like a virus, for sure", I agreed with her.
"Can you fix it?", she pleaded.
"You know, we're being attacked by somebody in Taiwan, and I'm kinda busy
launching a counter attack"
"Can you fix it, please?", she pleaded, again.
"Alright, I'll come up", I said, with practiced resignation.
Ah, the fourth floor. Plush carpet, offices with windows, comfortable chairs,
air conditioning that actually kept you comfortable, sofas. I found M______'s
office. M______ looked imaculate, as always. Hair perfect, complexion clear,
a nice shirt, lacy bra just barely visible if the light was right, skirt hemmed
just above the knees, really nice sandals.
I found her, quietly sobbing. "I tried cycling power, like you did last time.
I tried updating the virus database and that didn't work", she explained. Of
course not, the network had been disabled in software. Why an application
would be allowed to execute a system function is a mystery to me, but in every version of Windows, you can do it. "What do I do now?"
"You could think about computer security when you do your OS selection", I
told her.
"I didn't pick the OS! It's the corporate standard", she wailed.
"Microsoft marketing has brainwashed you into believing that. I know better"
"What do you want?", she was defeated.
"Let's negotiate", I replied.
"Let's not", she asserted. She walked over the door, closed and locked it. The she turned off the light. She came back and pushed me onto her sofa. In the light coming from the street lights below, I could see her slowly unbuttoning her shirt. Then she removed her skirt, and put it on the desk. She reached behind her and unsnapped her bra, exposing some gorgeous breasts. Finally, she slid her panties down and put them on the desk.
She knelt in front of me, and slid my sweat pants down and off. My underware
followed pell-mell. She stroked cock with her perfectly manicured fingers.
When it was hard, she reached under the sofa and pulled out a condom envelop!
Deftly, she opened the envelop, slid out the condom, and carefully wrapped it
around my cock, making sure that there was a little bubble at the end.
Then she climbed on the sofa, smiled, and said "If you are going to get your
jollies, then I should get mine, too".
"Makes sense to me", I answered.
Her cunt was nice and warm and tight. She squeezed it and then let go, rocking
gently. Up and down she went. I was in heaven. In the pale light, I could see her getting a sheen of moisture on her skin. I put my hands on her hips, and stroked her ass, which was perfect. Up and down she rocked. I stroked her beautiful breasts, watched her breathing. Eventually, she held still and tensed every muscle in her body. For a brief moment, she didn't move, didn't breath. Then she took a huge breath and froze again. Then another breath, a shudder. She collapsed on top of me. I gently stroked her back, whispered to her "It's all right, baby, it's okay".
After a moment, she began rocking again. She squeezed her cunt in time with her thrusting. She had another breath taking orgasm, and again, she collapsed on top of me.
After another couple of orgasms, I felt that familiar feeling. "I'm about to come", I informed her. "That's it, baby, please come", she grunted. "Please come, please come", she chanted. "I'm coming", I whispered. "Oh, yes", she replied. "I'm coming! I'm coming', and then I shot my load into the condom. She had another orgasm and collapsed on top of me.
We rested for a moment. Then she reached down, carefully securing the condom while she pulled off of me. Then, she carefully undid the condom and plopped it and the opened envelop into a plastic baggy she had thoughtfully left under the sofa. The baggie was sealed, then put in a paper bag which she tucked into her purse.
She had planned this, just as I had planned this! This woman was no empty headed marketing 'droid, she was a clever marketing 'droid.
We got dressed and turned on the lights.
I brought up her computer in safe mode with networking enabled and updated her virus database. I scanned her machine, and the antivirus software didn't detect the virus. Stupid. Of course, it shouldn't be necessary to run antivirus software, the whole concept is ludicrous. So then I sorted her system DLL files by time and found the file that had been modified this very afternoon - not too hard when you know what you're looking for, but I wanted to maintain appearances. We went to a co-workers office (she had left her machine logged in with administrator privs very bad) and found the same DLL file. It had the same DLL file, 500 Kbytes smaller and modified almost a year ago. So we copied that file across the network, and voila! Her machine was fixed.
"Thank you", she said.
"Thank **you**", I replied. "And you need to tell your people that computer
security is a big deal, something to think about when you make purchasing
decisions."
Continued in part 3.