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Subject: Title story: "Tell Me Something to Make Me Hate you" Author: RICHH 78183395
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Date: Mon, 19 Jun 2006 01:42:40 +0000
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Tell Me Something to Make Me Hate you
"Rich," says that one girl, "tell me a story."
"Okay. This--"
"No, wait. Tell me something that will make me hate you."
"You sure?"
She nods vigorously.
"Okay. You remember when I was in school, that humor magazine I edited?"
More nodding. She arranges herself, Indian-style, on the bed, one hand resting
on a thigh, the other alighting first on a knee, then a breast, then on the cool
sheets before her.
"You *sure* you...?"
She nods again and bites her lower lip.
"Okay, but remember, *you* asked."
"Go on."
"Well, I would organize meetings to try and get some help
putting out our various issues. At least, that's what it *looked*
like the meetings were for. They were really just to hone my
stand-up and to get laid."
She stretches her legs out straight, rests her achilles'
tendons on shins.
"Well, at one meeting this heinous-looking girl showed up.
Zits a-plenty, and always wearing this same idiot grin. Well, she
turned out to be quite eager to do most of the shit work that
needed to be done. I had no problem with this, even if it meant
spending hours with her at my house in the room where we put
together the magazine. Or in the computer room. It didn't bother
me when my housemates pointed and whistled or when Nina(her real
name) became a running joke in the house."
"Guys are mean."
"Yeah, like you're not."
"Yeah, so what's your point?"
"Just sayin..."
"Oh. Okay. So, one day, I wanted to see some movie but I had no idea what time
it was playing. I knew she read the paper, so I called her up and got the times
from her. She very casually asked me to which show I thought I'd be going. Oh,
the early one. I'm kinda tired... So, she finds me in line for the 9:30 show.
She'd just seen the 7:30 one and is buying another ticket. After the movie, I
head back to my house. She follows. Right at the point where normally she would
turn to head back to her dorm she says 'So, what are you gonna do now?' 'Um, I'm
kinda tired. Probably just head back and crash. You?' She just looked down and
grunted out a 'Hoormph' or something. And she followed me. Right into my house.
I get her upstairs as quick as I can, hoping none of my housemates see me. They
don't. I look at her and remember what a friend of mine from the basketball team
had told me in high school."
"James?" she says, and unbuttons her shirt.
"A friend of his. He said 'Pussy has no face. Some things just stay with you,
you know."
She leans forward and looks back under her skirt. "Mine does."
"Does what?"
"Has a face. It does."
"Does not."
She shows me.
"No. It has a nose..."
"Hee,"
"So we're up there. She's sitting on the bed, I'm standing by the window. It is
so awkward I just want to disappear and crawl under my door into the hall. I
pull the shade down and start unbuttoning my shirt. She does the same. When I
am naked, I sit next to her on the bed. She lays back, opens herself up. I go
down on her for a while, wondering what the hell I'm doing here... She squeezes
her left quadricep. 'I've got running thighs...' 'And sores', the evil voice
said. I slipped on a rubber, moved up and was poised right there when she
looked up and said, 'Rich, I've been hurt before.' 'I'll never hurt you.' 'You
have to really care.'"
"Yikes."
"I'll say. But you know me. So I look deep into her eyes, prepare my voice to
crack, and say 'I care. I care.'"
She hits me with a shoe to the temple.
"I could stop now.
"No, don't."
I look at her and say "I care" but silently mouth the word 'don't' in between.
"I (don't) care. I (don't) care."
"You!" Another shoe.
"Can I go on?"
She nods.
"So I realize that she is very very tight. She was a virgin. She'd made up the
story about the guy so I wouldn't be scared away. They say your first time's
supposed to be special..."
"Ouch. I hurt for a long time."
"Well, you know I can't come in a condom, so, after oh, maybe forty minutes or
so of this, it was clear that i wasn't going to come, and tears were about to
come out of her eyes, which seemed locked into perpetual wince. I pretended to
come, pulled out, and went back down on her. As soon as i breathed on her mons,
she said, 'it hurts.' Yeah, well, things hurt..."
"Gimme back my shoes."
"No, you'll wing em at me again."
"Give me em."
"Here. So there I was. I couldn't fuck her, couldn't eat her, and I had one of
those hard-ons from hell..."
"Know the type."
"Thought you might. So I turned her over, spit on my hand, rubbed it on, and--"
"Oh no..."
"Fucked her ass. Hey, stop laughing. This is the evil one, remember? So I didn't
come but fell asleep, and in the morning all I wanted was to sneak her out past
my housemates and send her on along. Only thing was, my housemates were all in
the living room, waiting, and they applauded as we came down ...
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