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Subject: Theraputic Breastfeeding
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Date: Wed, 17 Aug 2005 02:54:59 +0000
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===================
About 2 ½ years ago my younger sister who was pregnant had a dilemma,
she was expected to accompany her husband on a business trip to South
America. The trip was scheduled to occur only 5 weeks past her due
date. The dilemma for Christine was that she did not wish to risk
taking the baby to South America and breast feeding was very important
to her. She knew there would be no way to pump and store enough milk
to feed the baby for 11 days. Christine came to me, her older sister
and a psychotherapist since I should have the solution. I contacted
the La Leche League and the lactation consultant asked if I would be
interested in acting as a surrogate. I pointed out that I was not
married, did not now nor had I ever had a child nor breastfed before.
Although I told her that I have large breasts (D cup) she pointed out
that breast size had no relationship to the ability to make milk or
the amount. She said that it was possible but that it would take 4-6
weeks to begin to produce milk. I cannot explain why but the thought
brought warmth to my whole body and just the most incredible sensation
to my breasts. She provided the information necessary to accomplish
this. It would require time and determination to accomplish but
suddenly became almost an obsession with me. I called Christine and
she loved the idea. I could keep the baby and breastfeed while they
were gone.
The process began with the purchase of a hospital grade breast pump
and a little research showed that one the Medela with "Natural
Expression" had the most natural action and best mimics a baby's
nursing rhythm and was designed for faster let-down and helps to
maximize milk flow. The program required that I begin using the pump
several times a day increasing to pumping every 2 hour. By 6 weeks, a
week before her due date I began seeing the first drops of milk. Over
the next 2 weeks I continued to produce more and Christine would have
me come over and practice breastfeeding while she pumped and stored
the extra. The first time it was the most wonderful experience of my
life.
By the time they left I had bonded with little Suzette (she was named
for our mother) and was having no problem producing enough milk to
meet her needs. The almost 2 weeks were wonderful. I took Suzette to
my office and would feed her every 2 hours between clients. At home I
everything centered around feeding the baby. Even with waking every 2
hours I never felt tired or stressed, in fact quite the opposite.
Unfortunately like all good things it would come to an end when
Christine got back. As it turned out Christine had been unable to
pump as frequently as she needed to and was having to use a less
efficient hand pump so it took a couple of weeks to get her production
back up after they got back. I continued to supplement during this
time. She had a discussion with one of the wives in her husbands firm
who was due to deliver in just a few weeks about the benefits of
breastfeeding. While she liked the idea she was somewhat grossed out
by the thought and was already tired of having larger breasts, she was
only up to a c-cup, and would have gone nuts with mine which grown to
a large DD cup. Besides pregnancy had already been enough of an
inconvenience to her social life. Christine told her about what I had
done and suggested she find someone to act as a wet nurse for her.
Her friend inquired if I would be interested. Initially I was not
interested but as I thought about it I was more distressed at the
thought of drying up so I set forth a ground rule that I would provide
milk by pumping but that I would require her to bring the baby to me
at least twice a day to suckle. I told her that it was essential for
me to keep my production up.
Kathleen agreed to the terms and inquired about price, an issue I had
not even though of. I though I would just shoot out a number $50 to
suckle and $25 dollars in cash for each "bottle" of breast milk.
Remarkably she agreed to this and asked if I could provide enough for
each feeding. That would come to roughly $300 a day (god bless the
rich and bored). We continued this arrangement for 4 months and as
the feeding schedule lengthened I continued to pump every 2 hours and
just threw away the excess. One day Kathleen's husband came by to
pick up the bottles for her and we got to talking. He asked why I was
doing this and didn't it interfere with my therapy practice. I
explained it had minimal impact on the practice but that I really
enjoyed it and enjoyed watching the calming effect it had on the baby.
He said he wished he was a baby and could get away from the stress of
work and life by nursing. Kidding with him I said maybe I should
offer a breastfeeding therapy for executives. He just sighed
wistfully and said he would sign up anytime. I asked if he was
kidding and he said no. I asked apprehensively if he would actually
like to try it and his face lit up, I said this was not sexual and
would not have sex with him, he said that was not a problem. I told
him to wait there and went into my spare bedroom and arranged the
couch in there so I could cradle him while he nursed and dimmed the
lights. I went and changed into a nursing gown touched up my lipstick
and makeup and brought him to the couch. He laid down with his torso
and head in my lap and brought my nipple to his lips. As he began to
suckle I could hear him making little moaning noises of pleasure and
feel his body deeply relax. In about 10 minuets he had emptied my
breast so I repositioned him to the other breast and he resumed. When
he finished I let him lay there and we quietly talked about his life,
it really was turning into a therapy session. After about another 15
minuets I got him up and headed him for the door. He turned at the
door and said that he was more relaxed that he could ever remember
being in his life and asked if I would be willing to do this again. I
though about it and agreed to starting a professional relationship.
We agreed to a fee of $100 in cash a session and he asked to schedule
for the next session to be in 2 days. I agreed and would see him at
the same time. The interesting thing was that while I had enjoyed
nursing him at the time I was getting a real feeling of euphoria when
he left. It was a remarkable experience to conduct psychotherapy
while breastfeeding.
The next session followed along the lines of the previous one with the
exception that I lit some candles and had some soft music playing
lightly in the background. Since we had previously discussed some of
his feelings I began to softly conduct a one way therapeutic dialogue
speaking to Don almost as one would to an infant. During lulls I
hummed and quietly sang a lullaby to him. When he was finished
nursing we began a more in depth therapy for the reminder of his
session. The effect on both of us was phenomenal. This continued
every other day and once during the weekend for several weeks. In
the mean time Kathleen was switching her baby to formula and cereal so
I was down only to Don and my pump. I continued to pump every 2 hours
though. Don said that since he would no longer have an excuse to be
gone and be here if asked if I could continue to see him in the
mornings before he went to work. I though it over and told him we
would switch to 6 am. He said he would tell Kathleen he was going to
begin working out in the am before work. I pointed out that he would
need to find time to really exercise or his little lie would become
apparent. He said that using that excuse it would make more sense if
he began a daily routine so I said he could workout on the between
days but instead he asked for daily sessions and once on the weekend.
I some what reluctantly agreed.
Later that day I received a call from a friend of Kathleen's who asked
if I could provide milk for her baby because she was not able to
produce enough on her own. We agreed to the same fee as Kathleen and
I would nurse twice a day and provide 3 bottles of milk a day. I
would feed her baby at 8 am and again at 2 pm. As the months passed
by I gained another mother and Don approached me and asked if I would
be interested in taking on another adult client, a friend of his who
needed help. Turns out that Don had really taken charge of his life
and was fast tracking at work, all of which he attributed to the
therapy and felt his friend would really benefit. After my first
session with his friend Larry we arranged for a Monday Wednesday and
Friday schedule at 4 pm. The effect was the same as with Don,
euphoria for me and relaxation and increased focus for Larry. The
revenue from my little sideline business was now almost equal to my
practice.
I made a decision to do some remodeling of my house and fixed up my
"office" with the nursing couch, and a queen sized bed for nursing
some of the babies I hung blackout curtains and installed mood
lighting. I installed a computer controlled light that when switched
dims the lights and after 40 min. begins to slowly bring up the
brightness over the next 15 minuets. The décor was decidedly nursery
like which I then dubbed to be "the nursery". I purchased several
new nursing gowns and several pairs of matching high heel mules.
Decidedly sexier but did not seem have a negative effect on the
relationship with my clients. I even took more time with my makeup
and hair and began wearing a pearl necklace, a la Mrs Clever or Donna
Reed. This sexy maternal image seemed to have a very positive effect
and still did not result in them trying to make the sessions sexual.
Don eventually told his boss about being in therapy when his boss
asked what he had done that had made him so much more focused, relaxed
and in control. Initially he just said he was in therapy but
eventually told him the whole story. His boss Craig asked if Don
would call me and ask if I would take him on as a client. I agreed
and scheduled him for 8 am. As with Don and Larry we both enjoyed and
benefited from the experience and within 3 weeks he wanted to go to
daily sessions like Don. I was now nursing Don, Craig, and 2 babies
daily and Larry 3 days a week in addition to providing some extra
bottles of supplemental milk for the babies. I was still seeing a few
clients for "regular" therapy per week. I decided that because of the
under the table money I could close down my office and fix up another
room in my house as a second office for standard therapy and just
operate out of the office and cut my overhead considerably.
Eventually Larry referred another client to fill in his empty slots on
Tuesdays and Thursdays pretty much filling my time and leaving only a
few times for babies.
Within 3 months Craig referred a friend of his who was the CEO for a
medium sized company. Since I cannot schedule more frequently than
every 2 hours meshing our schedules was a problem. Eventually we
worked out an arrangement where I would come to his office daily at
noon and conduct sessions in his office. He already had a couch and
curtains which could dim the room and no one would dare disturb him
with the door closed. I gave him a few CD's of my background music
and he purchased a light controller like mine and installed in on the
lamp by his couch. "All the comforts of home" Since I would be
coming to him he agreed to paying double my normal fee.
One interesting effect of having men nurse me was that I ended up
doubling the amount of milk my breasts were producing to accommodate
their ability to suckle each breast dry causing the breasts to adapt
to demand. It had also caused my breasts to grow even larger taking
me from a large DD to a full DDD cup. Not being able to go much
beyond 2 hours without pumping my breasts or nursing really limited
what I could do. Going out on a date for dinner was out of the
question, even going to a movie wasn't something I could do easily.
By 3 hours I was in real pain from my engorged breasts and even with
pads in my bra I would leak through and soak my blouse or dress. Each
of my clients had shown tremendous growth both in their personal lives
and business, far more than I had ever seen with standard therapy.
About 6 months ago during a beautiful fall Saturday morning I was
sitting on my patio talking to my old college roommate describing my
new form of therapy and although it had made dramatic improvements in
the lives of my clients that I was receiving just as much pleasure.
Ending the call I got up ant go back into the house and get another
cup of tea only to find Jason, my yard boy, a senior in high school.
Jason is good looking 6' 1" and a trim muscular 180 lbs. It was
apparent he had heard if not the whole conversation enough to have a
clear picture. I asked him to come inside for a talk. I asked if he
was embarrassed and he initially denied it but later admitted he
didn't know what to say but eventually we began to discuss it. He
admitted that he was really turned on by big breasts. Unlike my
clients who accepted me in a more maternal role I could see in his
eyes that he saw me in purely a sexual way. I asked what about large
breasts turned him on and he was unable to describe it but soon he
said that it was sort of an ultra femininity thing and the though of
drinking milk from them. I asked if he would like to see mine and to
taste my milk. He grew quiet and wouldn't look me in the eye. I
reminded him that that I had several adult clients who I breast fed
and that this was also something I enjoyed doing.
Finally he looked up and without saying a word I took him by the hand
and led him to the "nursery" and instructed him to take off his pants
and shirt so he wouldn't get the bed dirty. Instead of using the
couch without thinking I was taking him to the bed. I could see his
erection straining to escape his underwear. I lay down beside him
cradling him in my arms and exposing my breast from one of the slits
in my nursing gown. He was soon sucking greedily and I was getting
incredibly turned on and could feel myself getting unbelievably wet.
AS he sucked I pushed my hand down his underwear and grasped his cock
and began to stroke it. I felt him stiffen and explode in my hand.
He was visibly embarrassed so I rolled him onto his back pulled out
his cock and began to lick him clean before beginning to suck it hard
again. With him on his back I straddled him and slid down on his hard
cock. Pulling off my nursing gown he got his first good look at both
of my massive breasts and even though I had though he was hard I could
feel his cock become like a steel shaft in my pussy. He soon came
again pumping me full of his sperm which triggered my own orgasm.
Rolling over he got between my legs and began to fuck me again with
unreal ferocity, again he pumped his sperm into me and again I came.
As I lay there I began to think of the fact I was not using any form
of birth control and that I could become pregnant. It was a wonderful
mixture fear of getting pregnant and the desire to get pregnant, to
have my own baby to nurse.
We made love several more times that day. A couple of weeks later I
got my period and started on birth control pills. As much as I would
love to have a baby and especially Jason's it would end my business
which had become very profitable, so much so that my gross was double
the previous year of doing standard psychotherapy. Since it was mostly
under the table money and I was not paying the overhead of an office I
had actually tripled my net income.
Jason comes to me on the weekends and I continue my clients and a few
add ins and even have a waiting list incase anyone drops out of
therapy. Who knows maybe I will publish a paper on my new therapeutic
modality and set everyone on their ear As Jimmy Stewart said "It's a
wonderful Life".