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Subject: My Unconventional Reply To An Email Spammer
From: "Horny Spam Victim"
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Date: Wed, 21 Apr 2004 22:31:48 +0000
===================
Submitted to alt.sex.stories for an evaluation of the content quality.
[this is the spammer's solicitation: headers trimmed/edited to protect
identities of the innocent]
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Thu, 22 Apr 2004 04:12:21 -0400
Date: Thu, 22 Apr 2004 04:12:21 -0400
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From: Monica Bristol <monica.bristol@nj67.com>
Reply-to: monica.bristol@nj67.com
X-Mailer: Microsoft Outlook Express 6.00.2600.0000
Subject: Exciting Job Offer!
X-Scanned-By: MIMEDefang 2.41
Status: O
On 22 Apr 2004 at 4:12, Monica Bristol wrote:
> Hi,
>
> Do you want to participate in the greatest Mystery Shopping quests
> nationwide? Have you ever wondered how Mystery Shoppers are recruited
> and how prosperous companies keep up doing business in the highly
> competitive business world? The answer is that many companies are
> recruiting young, creative, observant, and responsible individuals
> like you to give their feedback on various products and customer
> services and thus improve their quality.
>
> As a Mystery Shopper you have only one responsibility: Act as a real
> customer while evaluating the place you are sent to mystery shop and
> enjoy all the benefits that go along with your job. Remember that you
> have nothing to lose, because you are awarded generously for your
> efforts:
>
> . You get paid between $10 and $40 per hour for each mystery shopping
> assignment; . You keep all things that you have purchased for free; .
> You watch movies, eat in restaurants, and visit amusement parks for
> free; . You are turning your most enjoyable hobby into a well-paying
> activity.
>
> Be aware that as a Mystery Shopper you can earn on average $100 to
> $300 per week. The most experienced and hard-working shoppers earn up
> to $500 weekly. This well-paying job gives you the possibility to
> visit and observe shops, restaurants, banks, movie theaters, etc. in
> order to find their flaws and help their owners correct and improve
> them. You can be a Mystery Shopper whenever you have time, because
> there is no fixed timetable and you are not obliged to take all the
> assignments offered.
>
> If you are interested and would like to give a shot to this intriguing
> job offer, just write me back and I will provide you with more
> pertinent information.
>
> Good Luck,
> Monica Bristol
> Recruitment Coordinator
>
[the following is my reply, sent with a copy of the spammer's email]
Hello Monica,
I'll consider your offer if I can see how good looking you are.
In other words, I want to see an image of you. It can be just a bust
shot---picture of your head & shoulders, in case you are uncertain of
the meaning. Or it can be a whole body photo.
And you can decide how much clothing you would like to wear. Or not.
You see, I got back to the United States after being an ex-patriate for
almost 10 years, and since I have returned home, I haven't been with, or
had much chance to be with, a woman. And I have to confess that
Internet porn and my right hand only really go so far.
There is, after all, nothing like the real and loving touch of a fine
woman.
Imagine it.
You stretched out on your side.
Me lying supine.
I look into your [blue/green/brown] eyes. You look into my blue eyes.
Your right hand strokes at my forhead and hair. Your left hand reaches
down to my hips, and strokes the hair where the legs meet the hips.
You notice my erection, and you take it into your hand. You look at me
and smile, and I return the smile, moaning slightly.
You rub the head (glans) between your thumb and your forefinger, as if
to examine it in an almost scientific way. You notice something
different about it that you might have never noticed about any other
man's penis before.
You bring your head closer to what your left hand holds. You stretch
and pull at the tissue of the glans for a while. You make the hole
leading to the urethra open wide, and then close tightly.
A thought comes into your head. You think about the semen that comes
from the hole. You know that you do not like, and you suspect that most
women do not like, taking a man's load into the mouth, let alone even
swallowing it. You banish the impulsive thought quickly from your
imagination.
Almost as impulsively, but certainly something you had already planned,
your tongue darts quickly from your mouth, taking an equally quick lick
along the underside of the penis, before retreating back into your
mouth. At the most sensitive spot of a man's kock. You know very well
not to stimulate that spot too much or it's over too rapidly.
You build up the saliva in your mouth. You've always believed in
excellent lubrication, and that the wetter, the better.
You position your mouth directly over my stiff kock, which you hold at
the base vertically with your hand. As you draw the head and shaft to
the inside of your mouth, you coat the penis thoroughly with your
saliva. You move your head back and forth, your teeth slightly
contacting the shaft of the penis, as if to bite at it without doing so.
As you move your head away from the penis, you make a firm sucking
motion, and I moan like crazy. I yell out something to suggest I am a
wild man, something like, "I have to phuck you, and phuck you good!"
While you show me the skills of your fellatio, I use my left hand to
draw your hips close to my face. You open your legs up a bit so that my
left hand can pull on your neatly trimmed pubic hair. I look for the
labia, and separate them. You have small inner labia, and where the
shroud meets, I see a very hard button, the clitoris. I rub it with my
fingers to checks its erectile state. It's nice and hard.
I bring my mouth close to the labia. My tongue first works the inner
side of your thighs. I bring my tongue close to your vulva, but never
actually tongue it. I can feel your body become taut from the
anticipation of my tongue on your klit. But I tease you for a long
time. Moving up and down the inner part of the thigh.
Until you can no longer stand it. While you still strongly suck my
kock, you reach out with your hand and pull my head towards your kunt, a
signal that I need to stop fooling around. I enthusiastically tongue
your labia, your clitoris. I make my tongue go as deep as it can into
your vajina. The more I do this, the more intensity you give to sucking
on my penis.
This goes on for a while. I increase the intensity of my cunnilingus,
hoping that it is you who is the one who can no longer wait for the ole
in-and-out.
And almost as soon as I have increased the intensity of my licking, you
bring your head towards mine, apparently done from a giving me a good
kock-sucking. You have lovely large breasts, featuring a small,
somewhat reddish areola surrounding a large nipple, and you poke one at
me, insisting that I start sucking them.
I grab the breast firmly, marvel at its size and shape, and then begin
licking it, then sucking on the nipple with great intensity. This you
like very much.
You lean forward while I remain lying down, letting your breasts hang
down as I suck them. You reach behind you, grab my stiff dick, and then
move your hips toward it as you face away from it.
You satisfy yourself that the head is positioned at the right point
contacting the labia, and then you move your hips down as the head of
the penis moves past the labia, and into your vajina. As you move your
hips further down, my head lifts up to follow your retreating breast, so
as not to lose a moment of stimulation.
You move your hips down as much as possible, as if to test the length of
the penis inside you.
You now sit up straight, to maximize the pressure of the hard kock
inside you against the zones of your kunt that provide the greatest
stimulation. You rock back and forth. I watch you as your breasts swap
first back and forth, then up and down. I try to see the shaft of my
kock at the point where it enters your kunt as you move back and forth.
I think how lucky I am to be phucking such a hot woman as you, and the
thought almost makes me kum. I try to think about something else: the
weather, the Dow Jones tanking, whatever.
I am hoping that you kum soon. You lean forward to me, and then begin
really serious rocking back and forth. I can hear you moaning (you're
not a screamer, just a moaner). Your rhythm becomes rapid as my kock
and your kunt slide back and forth, and the intensity of your movement
indicates you will climax soon.
After a few minutes, you stiffen up incredibly, as if you are python
trying to suffocate its prey. You make a long sustained moan, and then
you fall on top of me. Thank the heavens!! You came, and I am pleased.
You quickly get off of me and lie down on your back with your legs
spread, and look at me. "Okay, your turn!" you say.
I get up, position myself between your legs, and guide my still raging
hard kock into your pussy. I watch as the head parts the labia and
moves in. I go deeply and then pause for a long time. I wait to feel
some sensation of being inside you, of feeling the warmth and wetness.
I wait for you to indicate that you envelop me, surround me.
I then starting pumping at a high rhythm. I know I will kum soon. It
never fails. As my hips slap against yours, I feel the rush. The
normal urge at the moment of my orgasm is to stop and let it happen, but
I always fight that urge----go against the grain----and I try to keep my
penis going inside and out.
The thought of my jism blowing inside you promotes the intensity of my
orgasm.
We collapse for a while on the bed. I reach over to you to draw your
naked, sexy body close to mine. Then we fall asleep.
[note that I have purposely misspelled certain words---kock, kunt,
phuck, vajina---so the messages are not removed by mail filters]