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Message-ID: <55473asstr$1174543801@assm.asstr.org>
From: Russell Hoisington <hoisingr@hushmail.com>
Subject: {ASSM} RP GSN00 - Got Beer {Kenny N. Gamera} (MF+, oral, bdsm, humor)
Lines: 235
Date: Thu, 22 Mar 2007 02:10:01 -0400
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Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories
Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d

===================


                   Girl Scout Nookies 00
                         Got Beer?


                        "Got Beer?"
                             or
                     Harping with Kenny

                       Kenny N Gamera

************************************************************

Welcome to the Girl Scout Nookie story collection.  In
honor of the Girl Scout Cookie season, this collection is
being reposted in the story order sequence we used in the
Girl Scout Nookie Collection story site at

    http://www.asstr.org/~denny/

This is story number 00.

While not a part of the Girl Scout Nookie (GSN) universe,
"Got Beer?" (which is based on the old joke, "How do you
please a man?  (1) Show up naked. (2) Bring beer.") is
necessary to understand the GSN stories because they flowed
from this story like... well, like urine from a beer
drinker.

************************************************************

Mistake number one, answering the door.

There was one of each outside my apartment. The blonde was
blonde (Do I have to spell out what I mean?) with largish
tits that were crowned with nipples the size of a sewing
thimble. The brunette wore her hair short around her
shoulders and pushed back behind her earlobes. The redhead
was tall and thin, with freckles in all the important
places freckles like to hang out. The black girl was the
colour of fine dark chocolate. The Asian girl had the
small, just-a- mouthful breasts that I crave the most. Each
stood in the hall without a stitch of clothing, hands
behind her back.

I slammed the door shut.

Okay, I know I'm loco, but women are not known for waiting
outside my door, even with clothes on. To see five
attractive young women outside my door was a shock to my
system. To see five attractive, naked young women outside
my door was proof positive that my system was out of order
and maybe even out to lunch.

I looked through the peephole.

I saw five naked women arranged in two ranks, tallest in
back, shortest in front. All looked at the door
expectantly. I went "Erp" (a normal thing to do when one
realizes that one has finally gone out of his freaking
gourd) and against my better judgment (SOP) opened the door.

"Hello," they chanted together, "Mr. Gamera."

"Erp!"

I slammed the door shut.

I began to shake.

I continued to doubt my sanity.

I opened the @#&*$% door again.

Each held out her right hand. In her grip was a six pack
of beer. A really good beer of Irish origin. If a certain
whiskey is my darling, then that beer is my sweetheart.

"We brought beer," they chanted in chorus, "Mr. Gamera."

I slammed the door shut.

I began to shake.

Violently.

There was a soft tap on the door. I tried to resist, but I
could not. I was trapped in some horrible spell. This is
just a weird dream you are having, I told myself as my hand
reached for the door handle.

I peeped around the crack I had made in the door. Again,
there were the five girls, each a different flavour. Still,
each held out a six pack of beer. I felt my will crumbling.
Then I heard it-the crinkling sound of cellophane
packaging, as each moved her left hand from behind her back.

"We brought pork rinds," they chanted as one voice, "Mr.
Gamera."

I was theirs.

The second mistake-letting them in.

The cats did the sensible thing; they were under the
futon, hiding. I lay on top of it, my head resting in the
lap of the ample blonde. The brunette held a pint glass of
lager for me to sip while the Asian girl placed porkrinds
into my mouth. The black girl and the redhead played tongue
hockey on my dick. My hands were like Caesar-just a roamin'.

Like an idiot, I thought I was in heaven.

After a moment, the two feeding me traded with the two
eating me. I got to enjoy the new sensations of different
talents. The redhead had concentrated on the head of my
dick while the black girl had paid greater attention to the
shaft. The Asian, however, went straight to my balls. The
brunette, well, she went straight to work. On the first try
she swallowed me, and I darn near choked on the porkrind
the redhead had popped into my mouth. The blonde kissed my
forehead and wiped the crumbs of deep fried pig's skin from
my cheeks with the back of her hand. No one offered me
anything else as the two between my legs finished their
task at hand.

Finally, with a scream of victory and a cream of great
proportions, I came into the cute brunnete's mouth. With
apparent practiced ease, she swallowed every drop. A shame
because I like seeing that last bit which sometimes runs
from the corner of the mouth down the chin.

Mind you, this was an omen.

Things were about to turn ugly.

With a capital UGH!

A sigh escaped from me, and I sagged deeper into the cleft
between the buxom blonde's thighs. She looked down at me
and said the first words that any of them had uttered on
their own, and the first since they offered me the pork
rinds.

"It is our turn now."

"Sure, what do you want me to do, eat each of you out?"

"No," said the black girl, "we want something kinky."

"Well, I'm not into too much that's really weird. Is it
golden showers?"

"No," answered the redhead.

"Well?" I wondered out loud.

"We want you..." started the Asian.

"... to throw a thesaurus at us," finished the brunette.

"WHAT?!"

"Throw a thesaurus at us," squealed the blonde excitedly.

"Please, Mr. Gamera," went the black girl.

"Pretty please," went the redhead.

"With sugar on top," went the Asian.

"We really need it bad, Mr. Gamera," went the brunette.

"Erp," went me in the middle of the bed. "I don't know if
I have a thesaurus."

"YOU WHAT!" cried the five, back into unison mode.

I jumped from the futon and ran to one of the bookshelves.
I searched for anything I could find that might work.

"A French-English dictionary, hardly used?"

"NO GOOD!" they replied.

"A concise dictionary of philosophy?"

"RUBBISH!" they declared.

"A dictionary of ecology?"

"UNFRIENDLY!" they roared.

"A dictionary of geology, soft cover?"

"TOO SOFT!" they answered.

"A misspeller's dictionary?"

"TOO LATE!"

Each got up from the futon and marched towards me, arms
swinging and breasts swaying. The blonde picked up the
misspeller's dictionary and clouted me on the head.

"Cad!"

The black girl took the geology dictionary and followed
suit.

"Jerk!"

The redhead took the ecology dictionary and bonked me good.

"Asshole!"

The Asian girl used the philosophy dictionary.

"Dick!"

The brunette grabbed the French-English dictionary, did
her worst, and shouted, "White, heterosexual male!"

They walked to the door, stopped, and turned to look at
me. They glared with contempt. "Men! You are all the same."

I never saw them again for the rest of my life.

************************************************************

Copyright 2000 Kenny N Gamera

--
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-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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