
Message-ID: <51709asstr$1124032202@assm.asstr.org>
From: franzkafka79@hotmail.com
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Subject: {ASSM} Re: Yana and the Catatonic Question
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Date: Sun, 14 Aug 2005 11:10:02 -0400
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===================


This ain't no story. This infringes copyright, since characters are
used w/o clearance. It wasn't edited, since I didn't want to annoy
anybody with this cramp. Please enjoy.

FranzKafka79



Re: Yana and the Catatonic Question

It was Saturday, the 13th of August, 2005. As I did before, I visited
the Red 5 club in ***. My intention was to get drunk. Heck, I wanted to
get drunken as much as I was never before. Life was good.

Again there was this stupid bar keeper, who told me about the Thesaurus
some months before.

I ordered a whisky. "Jameson, please!"

"I don't believe that Jenna Jameson will dance tonight..." he tried to
joke.

Stupid guy.

If Jenna would have danced in this club, certainly the club owner
gained enough money for hiring a better bar keeper.

I drank the drink fast and ordered another. Deeply I inhaled the air in
the club. It was a mixture of Marlboro and Maryjane. Life was good.

As I looked again, I remarked a gorgeous woman. She sat only two chairs
left of me. Her knockers were the knock-out type of style. She was the
Goddess. I forgot Katka, my girlfriend. I forgot Jana, my former
girlfriend. I forgot the debt on my bank account. I even forgot, that I
wanted to read the newest installment of Nick Scipio's Summer Camp.

"What'saya name?" I said, my tongue already tied from the alco...llleg
.. alcohol.

"Me am Ludmila," the girl said with a strange accent, which I, spending
the last 15 years entirely in Eastern Europe, recognized as the Russian
color of English spoken in Tbilissi, Georgia, what wasn't a suburb of
Atlanta, but anyway AA would link the towns nonstop, I presumed.

"You're Ludmila Donaldevna Makoyevova?" I asked.

"Exactly," she whispered in a husky voice, like Marilyn talking to
Humphrey in Rick's bar, revealing her long legs in the white dress
until her crotch. ... Time for another whisky. "How you knew?" she
continued-

"Baby, I've heard of all sexy women in the west of the Ural mountains
and in the North of the Taliban and the news about the daughter of Yana
"Nuclear Bomb" and Donald "The Duck" Stalin spreadened through the
Western world immediately after the cold war came to the end.
Generations of spies wanted to lay your mom. The CIA filed every rubber
your mother discarded and they even had to steal some of her underwear
for a special client with the nickname Edgar Vacuum."

"How you can know about this?"

"You know, once I was visiting the fair in Leipzig and one evening for
dinner, in the "Auerbach's Keller" I met a guy, you know, he was doing
for the KGB that time..."

"You know Vladimir Putin?"

"Yeah, and after dinner we went into a whorehouse and fucked the best
East German whores. Life was good. And as we were double teaming that
slut Erika, Putin said, 'I shouldn't say this, since the whore is
linked to Erich Mielke, the stasi chief, but whatthefuck, the best lay
I ever had is that woman I met once in the Donald Duck facility."

"Donald Duck facility?"

"Yep. I wondered for myself that time. Stalin invented the fecality ..
ehem facility to fight the West, but the only result was sex, sex, and
more sex."

"Sex as in fucking and getting pregnant?"

"Yeah. They all fucked your mother and one of them won the lottery and
got your father."

"You mean Batschka isn't my dad?"

"Who cares. You never wondered your name Ludmila Donaldevna?"

"Fuck!"

"Yep. That is it. All they did, was showing a thesaurus to your mom and
soon they got their free fuck."

"Because of a thesaurus?"

"Don't ask me. I even don't know where they bought it, since, as far as
I know, girl scouts never sold thesauruses in Russia. It's they way it
worked in Fort Knox or wherever the NSA had their headquarters, or
maybe even at the Roemerstrasse in Heidelberg."

"Girl scouts?"

"You don't know that? It's common in the Western civilization to buy a
books and cakes from girl scouts..."

"You are pulling my leg," she said. "I don't believe, that buying a
thesaurus from a girl scout is giving you a free fuck."

"No. According to Kenny Gamera the only thing for getting laid by a
girl scout is to have a thesaurus."

The girl smiled at me. "I am glad you haven't a thesaurus."

"Me not, but do you see the bar keeper?"

"Yes."

"Well, this stupid guy bought a thesaurus some months ago. He thought
he will get some free fuck. But I am 100 percent sure, that he will
leave it to me, if I buy you a drink, so I can stick my cock upon your
cunt and got you impregnated!"

Ten minutes later I fucked her from behind, the girl laid down on a
table in the back of the club. I was pumping her body and eventually
shot my seed into her womb. I had no further questions.

Life was good.

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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