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Subject: Dr Trimble' writes (Mf, cons, pedo, incest)
Date: Wed, 08 Sep 2004 15:45:41 -0700
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Dr Trimble' writes (Mf, cons, pedo, incest)
AUTHOR Unknown
Case History (1): A 21-YEAR-OLD GIRL REVEALS HER LONG HISTORY OF
ABNORMAL
EXPERIENCES WITH ADULTS OF BOTH SEXES FROM AGE 5
Any study of pedophilic behavior and psychology involves serious
research
among the victims of pedophiliacs as much as it does with the adult
offenders. This opening case history will provide one of the broadest
insights into the scope, forms and psychology of pedophilia in the U.S.
that
is possible.
It is difficult for the average person to conceive that such a
strikingly beautiful, intelligent and well-poised young woman as Jan W.
has
led a life of sexual debauchment since she was 5 years old. Yet her
very
surroundings and social situation at the age of 21 reveal immediately
that
she is far from the mainstream of society.
Jan W. lives in a ramshackle walk-up apartment in the
slum-ghetto
"hippieland" area of a major American metropolis with her unemployed
24-year-old boy friend and her 18-month old daughter. Their total
income is
derived from Jan's prostitution, posing for nude pictures and acting in
stag
party movies where she performs any kind of sex act required by the
perverse
tastes of her employers.
Physically, Jan's majestic beauty and appearance, her long brown
hair,
the classic features of her lovely face, could rival those of a
top-rated
movie actress or high-fashion model. Standing five feet eleven,
weighing 130
pounds and possessing a firm 36-25-36 body, Jan is the type female who
exudes
sensuality with each gesture and movement, each phrasing of speech in
her
slightly husky and exciting voice. This latter quality, incidentally,
she
uses to advantage in catering to clients who are coprolalic and achieve
sexual satisfaction from "sexy" talk with a woman on the telephone.
An intelligent girl who was a straight-A student in high school
and
turned down a teaching scholarship, Jan has a very astute insight into
the
psychology of her own problem and that of the men with whom she was
involved. I shall present here the transcript of a very frank and
outspoken
interview that I tape recorded with her:
DR - ...were raised in a large Southern city, you've told me. And you
have had
experiences as a child with both adult males and females. When was the
first
time Jan?
JAN - Age five.
DR - And who was this with?
JAN - A group of young men. I was playing outside one day... and my
parents
were away, and some young men from high school approached me, pinned me
down
on the hill, and... uh... removed my clothes... and ... proceeded to
seduce
me.
DR - Do you mean they penetrated you vaginally?
JAN - No, they didn't penetrate me ...I heard my mother calling me,
but up
to that point, oh, I was REALLY enjoying it, but when I heard her, I
started
screaming.
DR - What do you mean, when you say you were enjoying this at such a
tender
age?
JAN - The fact that they were giving me attention.
DR - What specifically were they doing to you after they had your
naked body
spread before them on the hill there?
JAN - They were petting me, feeling me ... my naked body ... kissing
me,
making remarks about how they would like to put their penises in my
little
hole and have intercourse. I was pretty big for my age always. I guess
I
looked older than five.
DR - Were these youths in a state of penis erectus while fondling
you?
JAN - Yes ... several were. They were naked too.
DR - And what else did they do?
JAN - One was trying to put his penis in my vagina when my mother
called.
Before that... kissing my breasts, going down to my vagina. One was
actually
kissing and sucking my vagina. Oh, and he had his tongue inside too,
because
I remember the way he licked... he kept licking it, and I'll never
forget it
felt so funny.
DR - What was the response for you at that age? Was it sexual?
JAN - Oh... wonderment! And getting all... ALL that attention. And
curiosity!
I really didn't understand what was going on.
DR - When was the next episode?
JAN - When I was about seven, this boy friend of my mother's came
over to the
house quite often. She was divorced. This man was about 35, I guess.
He used to take me out in his car all the time, buy me ice cream, in
what
I thought then was a fatherly manner. Then, he used to come; come close
to me and cuddle me and want me to sit in his lap, and he would become
excited...
DR - When you say excited, do you mean he had an erection?
JAN - Oh, yes, a big one. I could feel it get big and...he could
make it
wiggle, when I was sitting on his lap...ha-ha...it was big and hard. He
asked
me once if... I would play with his penis. He took it out and showed it
to
me... big and hard. I ran home and told my mother and we never saw him
again.
DR - Did the next episode occur soon after that?
JAN - The next thing...I was still seven... there was a girl in
the
neighborhood who used to come down and play with me. She was 15 when I
first
met her. We used to go down into my basement and she wanted me to play
"house" with her one day. So, uh... she pretended to be the father and
I was
supposed to be the wife. And she started kissing me... and feeling me
...
and taking my clothes off, and this ended up in a lesbian relationship
that
lasted for almost two years.
DR - In other words, when you were seven to nine, you had a
lesbian
relationship with a girl who was 15 to 17... eight years your senior?
JAN - Uh-huh.
DR - What was the appearance of this girl then? What was your
appearance?
JAN - She was a blonde, very attractive, very well developed. Just
a very
pretty and lovable high school girl who was built! I was tall...for
seven
years old. I was told I had a pretty body. My legs were pretty enough,
but I
had no breast development. I admired her body because...curiosity,
wonderment. I think her breasts absolutely fascinated me, they were so
big,
bigger than my mother's, and I just never could believe I'd have
breasts of
my own that nice.
DR - What specific acts did you engage in?
JAN - Uh... she would eat me quite-often on the average of three
times a
week and vice versa.
DR - Did you experience orgasm?
JAN - Yes... I did. This was the first time.
DR - In addition to sex, was there an emotional attachment to this
girl?
JAN - A very STRONG one, I considered her my BEST friend and, uh,
I
admired her, LOVED her.
DR - What did your mother think of this?
JAN - If she knew anything about our affair, she never let me
know. We
certainly thought we were hiding it from her.
DR - You were seven to nine... when would you say was the first
time you
experienced orgasm with this girl?
JAN - Uh...two months after we started these little games. I was
still
seven.
DR - Do you remember that first time?
JAN - Uh-huh. She was sucking my vagina. I had my panties off and
my dress
up. She would kiss the doll I was holding, then kiss me, going down
farther
each time until she was sucking my vagina quite strongly and tonguing
me
around the top inside. I was lying on my back in the bed and... she was
at my
side, crouched ... over me kind of.
DR - Did you also cunnilingue her at this time?
JAN - About nine...to ten months later, I started responding to
her,
kissing, sucking her vagina.
DR - Before then, she was content to do this to you only?
JAN - Yes, very content. She orgasmed while I was orgasming. She
climaxed when I climaxed, and... oh, it was wonderful. She seemed
perfectly content if I was content.
DR - Did you like to cunnilingue her?
JAN - Yes... yes, it wasn't dirty. I liked to see her enjoy it...
get hot, and have her climaxes. I enjoyed it...even the kissing, the
taste of her wasn't unpleasant. It was... well, part of it.
DR - What broke up this relationship? You must have been hit
pretty
hard, weren't you?
JAN - She moved away...yes, it took me a time to adjust. I didn't
have any
other friends. A year later, I was around ten... there was this boy in
the
neighborhood about 18. He invited me into the woods one day. I... went
with
him, we took our clothes off, and we went swimming. And he had an
erection... which amazed me because I'd never really seen a boy that
big
with an erection, just close up in broad daylight and right... right at
me! I just sat there and stared at it! And ... he proceeded to make me.
DR - Was this the first time you had been penetrated?
JAN - Right.
DR - Did he break the hymen?
JAN - Oh...yes. He went all the way in me. There wasn't pain...no
pain... and only a little spotting... bleeding
DR - Let me backtrack just a little, Jan. The boys who molested
you
when you were five... I think this was a case motivated by gang-fever,
wasn't it? Here were some big boys who just wanted to ...
JAN - Experiment with a young girl, right? Yes. I think that's all
it
was, playing around.
DR - But the man who was 35, do you think perhaps he was going
with your
mother primarily as a means to get at you? This is a favorite ploy of
many
pedophiliacs, you know.
JAN - I think he was, because every time he came to see my mother
there
was always an excuse to get me out alone. I have two sisters, and he
picked
me out as the one whom he wanted to share all his time with. My sisters
were
older and I guess they didn't appeal to him.
DR - Do you know anything about his background... education and so
on?
JAN - Very... very well-educated man. He worked with an embassy.
He
was from South America. Very well to do. No family ... no wife. He met
my
mother at a party. He may have found out then my mother had a daughter
of
seven.
DR - After age ten, what happened, Jan ...after the 18-year-old
boy?
JAN - I was age twelve...yes... this man who had been in prison
for
three years for statutory rape. I became good friends with him, I liked
him very much...
DR - How did you meet him?
JAN - At school. He used to hang around the school to pick up
girls, and a
girl in one of my classes introduced me to him, and I liked him
because...he
was older, he was around twenty-six, and I was twelve, and he just
seemed
very, very exciting. You know...he seemed to know what was going on and
I
didn't. And he had a car, a very fast and sporty car, which I liked.
And I
used to skip school and go with him, driving around and everything.
DR - Where would your...your sex acts take place? You did have
intercourse, penetrative intercourse, with him?
JAN - Oh, yes. Quite often. We would make love in the back seat of
his
car. After school, or when I cut classes, we'd drive off into the woods
or
down to the park and ... make it.
DR - Was he a very virile... a potent man, when he was making love
with
you?
JAN - Oh, very. He... uh, had been married, but he used to talk about
his
wife quite often. And he was very displeased there sexually because he
couldn't get an erection around HER. He only liked young girls. Oh,
with me,
it got hard, hard as could be, and it would stay that way when he
fucked. Oh,
he could go two, sometimes three times with me in the car. He was great
...
DR - Did he like to talk, use erotic language with you?
JAN - Yes, quite a bit...uh . . . he would want me to talk dirty
to him,
tell him that I liked to be fucked, and beg him for more. It really
turned
him on for me to say 'fuck.' It really shattered him. Uh ... and what
he
really, really liked was when I got in the car from school, he trained
me to
ask him if he was ready for some pussy. This just turned him on
completely,
that one sentence. And he wanted me to keep reminding him I was very
young.
He asked me ... kept reminding me not to leave my school books in the
car. By
saying that, it kept reminding him I was a little 12-year-old girl.
DR - Were you physically matured at this time?
JAN - I had a very, very good shape. I was... looked older, but I
was
still just a school girl. My breasts were developing...
DR - Did he cunnilingue you, too?
JAN - Cunnilingue me, eat me, lick me all over and drool. It was
great
for me to realize what I was doing for this man. Oh...oh, Jeez, there
was
another little bit that was just great. Sometimes, he liked for me to
rub
him off, masturbate him with my hand, you know. And when he orgasmed,
he wanted my other hand holding onto the head of it so he could see the
come oozing through between my fingers. And he made a big thing of
saying,
"Oh! Oh, honey, don't let any get on that pretty little dress or those
school books. Mommy will be mad."
DR - How long did this last?
JAN - A year.
DR - And were you sorry to see him go?
JAN - No...I didn't see him go. I got into the car one afternoon and
he
said he was going to go away and I begged to go with him. Another
couple went
with us, they were seventeen and eighteen... unmarried. And I went with
them.
We left town and we went down to Texas, New Mexico, Oklahoma, all over
the
Southwest, in his car.
DR - In other words, you ran away from home. Did your mother pursue
you?
JAN - Yes, she had the police looking for me, and they picked me
up. I
was sent to a receiving home there...and this is very funny. There were
some
Mexican girls there, and in the dormitory at night there was a big
orgy...
a big sex orgy between the girls.
DR - What was the average age there?
JAN - Fifteen to seventeen. I was twel...uh, thirteen then. I was
a kid
compared to them.
DR - And what went on during these orgies?
JAN - Going down on each other, and playing around, and using
broom
handles as dildoes.
DR - Did the girls achieve orgasm with these broom handles?
JAN - Oh, they were the...the sexiest, hottest bunch of... just
nymphos
I've ever seen. One of the girls used to orgasm just LOOKING at the
broom
handle. It was unbelievable! When the matrons were around and we had to
behave, the other girls would gesture at Molly with a broom handle or
stick
it at the front of her dress and the poor girl would have orgasms and
go out
of her mind she wanted it so bad.
DR - Were you a favorite, being so young and well developed...
fresh?
JAN - Yes, I was the center in the bunkroom at night. They would
make me
lay across a cot, and sometimes five ...or six, or seven or eight would
kneel
around it, licking me and sucking me all over, fighting ... actually
fighting, to eat me. If I needed attention, I sure got it there. It was
unbelievable!
DR - Did you cunnilingue any of the girls?
JAN - Yes... all of them, I guess..I didn't really LIKE it with
all of
them. It was to be a part of the group, contribute, get them to orgasm
and
satisfy them.
DR - Did you become emotionally attached to any of the girls
there?
JAN - One of the older ones was like a mother or sister to me.
DR - Did any of them become very emotionally attached to you?
JAN - One woman who became attached to me was the matron, the
head woman
of the home. She wasn't Spanish like all the other girls... or Mexican,
I
mean. And, uh, she really became attached to me. She used to call me in
her
office, and she would...put her arm around me if I was crying, and rub
my
head against her breasts. Oh, she was really turned on by this and
enjoyed it
tremendously.
DR - How old was she?
JAN - Oh... forty-five. She wasn't married.
DR - Did she do anything... a real overt sexual approach... feeling
your
breasts, undressing you...?
JAN - Feeling my breasts. She never undressed me. She did this in a
way I
could see turned her on sexually, but she did it in a way so she could
stop
if I cried rape, and she could claim I was trying to frame her.
Through...
through my uniform... it was thin and the bra was nothing .. . she
would
press her hand around my breast... a breast ... and move her hand
slowly and
moan and sigh. I could tell her thighs were tensed... tight together,
and
I'm sure she orgasmed.
DR - And what happened when you were returned home?
JAN - Nothing much for awhile. I went back to school, played being
a good
little girl.
DR - After all these experiences...and then to be more or less
confined, did
you feel a need to masturbate? Did you masturbate?
JAN - Yes... with a teddy bear.
DR - How did you do this, with the arm of the teddy bear... how?
JAN - The whole teddy bear. I would get on my knees on the bed...
with my legs apart, and push, push the teddy bear up against my open
vagina and rub him hard, very hard back and forth across my clitoris
and just go into ecstasy, he felt so good. I could orgasm three,
four, oh, I don't know how many times.
DR - When did you first masturbate?
JAN - Umh . . . nine.
DR - And this was to climax?
JAN - Uh-huh.
DR - And you used this teddy bear then as a masturbating device
whenever
you were not in contact with people sexually?
JAN - Yes...and even when I was in contact with people sexually,
when I
would go out with men and I wouldn't be satisfied, I'd come home to my
teddy
bear.
DR - This was a teddy bear you'd had since...
JAN - Yes, since childhood... ha-ha... yes, really.
DR - Do you feel that you had any emotional attachment to the
teddy bear?
JAN - Oh, quite a bit.
DR - Whatever happened to the teddy bear?
JAN - Well, my grandmother kept yelling at me to get rid of him
because
he was so dirty... ha-ha-ha... you know, I'd had him for years and he'd
been
everywhere with me. I never cleaned him after I used him, but to me it
was a
very personal thing. You don't see or smell dirt on something you love
like
that... Well, one day, she threw him away. And this REALLY upset me.
DR - Do you ever wish you could see the teddy bear again?
JAN - Yeah...yes, I really do, just to have him around. I think it
would
be nice...
COMMENT: After Jan was thirteen, she could not possibly have been
considered
a child any longer. Her worldliness, her physical and facial
appearance,
everything about her appealed as a matured female. She remained
sexually
active, having both male and female lovers, but her attraction was not
to any
pedophilic urge in the adult. Because of Jan's ability to analyze
herself
and to understand much of the psychology involved with this current
study, it
will be interesting to repeat some of her own comments that were taped
during
that same interview.
DR - How do you think this all came about, Jan... that where the
average girl would never come into contact with this, you did?
JAN - I think it started...because all I ever heard from my
mother from
the time I was a small child until I would be running away from home,
was...'go out, marry someone with money, get money, get ahead, get
someone to
take care of you.' I had it drummed into me that man - MAN - was
security.
DR - Then why did you submit to a girl?
JAN - It was different...something I knew my mother wouldn't like.
It was
a way to rebel.
DR - Judging from your experience, Jan, what type of man is it
who
prefers young girls? Is he afraid of older women, afraid of his ability
to
perform with them?
JAN - That, I found to be true. Not necessarily older men either.
Middle-aged and some young men prefer young girls, because they haven't
been
around, and then can satisfy a little girl, or they think they can
satisfy
them. They don't hear any complaints.
DR - Was there usually a gift or payment that helped to persude you
as a
child? I ask this because of your mother's idea that men represented
money
... security.
JAN - Yes ... but I think the men ... and the women I went with,
they
appealed to me. I was strongly attracted to them. They gave me things,
but I
would have gone with them anyway. Like...the man who had been to prison
and
used to fuck me every day nearly when I was twelve. His attraction
was...was
that he wasn't any good. He had been in jail and he wasn't any good and
it
was rebellion against my mother, because she was saying, 'Go out and
get the
RICH young boys.' So I rebelled, I went out to get the BAD young MEN!
DR - What about your father, Jan, the father you never knew. Do you
think
he enters into this in any way?
JAN - Well, I've always looked for security in a guy as a father
image.
I've always been told that I was no good and just like my father...
since
I was four.
DR - Perhaps you were looking for someone just like him, who was no
good?
And this way you could also rebel against your mother again.
JAN - Yes, I'm sure of that. Sometimes, my mother was mad at me and
she'd
sit there and just stare at me with hate in her eyes and tell me how
much I
looked like my father... and then send me out of the room. It was
pretty
disgusting.
DR - Could your mother have had any incestuous ideas toward you?
JAN - No, I don't think so, but she was a very sexy woman. She
couldn't
talk about anything without bringing sex into it. She was obsessed by
sex
and... even now, she comes on so strong with sex stories and risque
jokes.
She turns everything into sex. And she always has.
DR - How did your mother treat your sisters, by comparison?
JAN - They've always been the good girls. I've always been the bad
one. I
was the bad sheep, mainly because my other two sisters were just like
my
mother. I liked the thought of being like my father because... ha-
ha...
he was pretty groovy as far as I was concerned. He's in Mexico now.
DR - What's he doing there?
JAN - Ha... just getting stoned and ...fucking all the chicks...
ha-ha-... really! He's groovy. I saw him last summer and I talked to
him a lot.
DR - Did you ever see him as a child?
JAN - Not until I was around nine.
DR - Was there any feeling of an erotic interest between you and
your
father?
JAN - There's always been a... a wink of the eye and an
understanding.
He's never condemned me for anything I've done. He's very good looking.
I had
... a very strong sexual feeling for him last summer when I saw him.
Um-mm... very handsome man, very well built, and it just didn't seem
like he
was my father.
It is quite rare that we find a willing victim of pedophilia with
this
high a degree of insight and understanding who is willing to talk about
herself, but has made no attempt to change her profligate life. While
Jan
knows and comprehends the factors which made her what she is today -- a
marijuana-smoking, hippie-oriented prostitute and sex-film actress who
keeps
a 24-year-old lover -- she has no apparent desire to pursue more
constructive
paths.
Of course, Jan is far from being alone. There are thousands, many
hundreds of thousands of young girls, from similar backgrounds, who
offer
themselves as ready targets for the clever pedophiliacs capable of
recognizing them. If this case does nothing else, it will help the
reader to
understand the complimentary personality of one very prevalent type of
child
who is fair game for the pedophiliac.
'Dr Trimble'