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Subject: Title story: "Barry's Awakenings" Author: Jay Lloyd 65032538
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Date: Tue, 17 Jan 2006 20:56:56 +0000
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This is the story of a very masculine young gay man coming to terms with,
and exploring, his sexuality. It is set firstly in England, then secondly
in America.
Part 1 - England: Barry was a young gay guy eighteen years-old before he found
what he really liked, twenty-one before he finally found what he needed. Irish
by parentage, he was born and brought up in London, England. Physically he was a
dark Celt, tall and slim, with black wavy hair, piercing light blue eyes and
smooth pale skin. Barry had high cheekbones and a killer full lipped smile,
which sadly he showed all too rarely.
Brought up as he was, strictly, in a devout Catholic family, with religious
schooling, regular Church attendance and service as an altar boy, he struggled
with guilt over his sexuality.
Barry always knew that he was gay, even at a young age, although he was
outwardly very masculine in his general behaviour. He was the very opposite of
any queer stereotype the kind of effeminate, rather flamboyant gays as depicted
so often on television and in films. He was very much a mans man in his habits
he liked his beer, playing poker and most of all he loved sports. Hed even been
the captain of the London area school hurling team, a very fast and aggressive
Irish Gaelic sport.
His late school years were, in ways, the best times of his life. Hed run with a
group of friends throughout his West London neighbourhood. Well known locally,
and to each other, as the Irish Boys, Barry, with Mad McKeigue, Mullarkey,
Gerald and Chris Hennessy, kicked up a storm. They played sports together,
fought against others and amongst themselves at times, played hooky from school,
scammed for money and generally raised hell, somehow always just avoiding
trouble, be it from their parents, the police or worst of all the local priests.
Being good-looking and in great shape, naturally he attracted the attentions of
the local girls. In denial, and to maintain his status with his friends, he
dated several. On occasion he even screwed with them. Sure he could do it he
could make out. But always as he was thrusting down into a girls pussy from
above, or riding it from behind, in his minds eye, the one that counts, he was
fucking a man, a handsome young stud like himself. When he masturbated it was
exclusively with the thoughts of men.
To his later regret, hed even joined in at school with the bullying of Seamus
Byrne, a sad very effeminate boy, with a girlish high-pitched voice. Hed joined
in the taunting, the sly punches and kicks that the others had meted out. You
see, in his community, to be a gay, a fag, a queer, a poof, a shirt-lifter, a
sodomite, or whatever name was hung on it, and there were many, was to cut
yourself off, to be rejected by friends and family alike. It was a kind of
social death sentence.
A form of liberation, or awakening, came to Barry on his eighteenth birthday.
Having just eaten a huge meal prepared by his doting mother and rather cloying
older sisters, he escaped from his family to the tranquillity of his bedroom to
get dressed up. He was going clubbing that night with some friends to celebrate.
Having dressed, and with some time to spare before his best friend Gerald, known
as Jez, came round in his car to pick him up, he turned his computer on and
surfed around some of his favourite Internet sites. Again and again, Barry was
drawn to the same saved pages from his Yahoo groups: Tom of Finland 1, 2, 3 and
4. Drawings and cartoon images filled the screen. Idealised visions of muscular,
hung gay men.
Handsome clothed guys posing bodybuilders nude with muscles and cocks pumped
truckers getting it on in the woods cops fucking prisoners comic strips of
nervous young men getting it on for the first time with hung studs. He loved
these images of strong guys with big hard cocks. There was nothing feminine,
nothing soft here. These idealised images fed on Barrys own personality and
desires. It almost as if the late artist Tom had read ...
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