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Subject: ST: "Love Hurts" (MM, ANal, Oral, No Sex)‏
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===================

posted for author Homer Rios writerbear2000@yahoo.com

LOVE HURTS - CHAPTER ONE

(MM, ANAL, ORAL, ETC)

Homer Rios writerbear2000@yahoo.com

Saturday, April 17, 2010

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COPYRIGHT INFORMATION:  Copyright to Homer Rios and the WRITERBEAR Corporation 2010.

 

WARNING:  Must be 18 to 21 years of age to read this story, and not offended by stories of homosexual nature.  If you are offended by this sort of material leave and go elsewhere.

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Ricky Salsa sat patiently as Doctor Jeffery Stevens read through his paperwork.  Ricky was getting nervous with the doctor talking to himself and jotting down notes in the legal pad resting on the arm rest of his chair.

 

While the doctor-or Jeff as he wants to be called-wrote and continued to talk to himself, Ricky observed Jeff, which is what Jeff was probably doing to him.  Jeff stood five foot ten inches tall, weighed about one hundred ninety pounds and looked very good for being in his early forties.  He had his pretty blue eyes behind modern looking glasses, which he took off and chewed at the end every time he thought.  He dressed in a nice suit which was cut to show off his physique. 

 

Jeff broke the silence, "Are you comfortable?"

 

"Comfortable as can be expected," Ricky replied.

 

"I notice some discomfort on your right side..."

 

Ricky interrupted, "My ribs are still hurting me, but it is tolerable."

 

Jeff made note on his pad, but Ricky suspected to have every word and action picked apart.  After all that is what psychiatrists are know to do and Ricky figured he was trying to get all the information on Ricky that he can to treat him. 

 

"I just want to get to know you this session and we'll pick up tomorrow."  Jeff continued, "You do know this will be two hours sessions four times a week?"

 

"Yeah I was told, but...but was told it would be up to you."   Ricky stated.  He wasn't told a lot about this by his family and just agreed to keep the peace.

 

"Well after talking to your parents I found that what was originally setup will work well and we can always adjust things as we progress, deal?"  Jeff tone was stern but was also with a hint of fatherly advice.

 

"Deal."  Ricky responded meekly.

 

"Okay like I said this meeting will be short, in fact, we'll be calling it quit pretty soon."  Jeff notice Ricky excitement and continued, "I can see you are happy, don't worry I am not going to make this painful, but before you go I am tasking you with a little homework.  After you leave I want you to buy a notebook and start writing a daily journal of what you are thinking and feeling and bring it back to me."

 

Ricky agreed with the request even though he thought it was stupid and went to Wal-Mart after his session and bought the notebook.  Later that night he wrote a generic note not really thinking or feeling anything.

 

 

The next meeting, with notebook in hand, Ricky waited patiently to be called in for his session.  The red light turned o ff and he made his way to the couch that will be his place for the eight hour week.

 

Jeff read through the entry made a note or two and settled into his chair.  He leaned forward and asked, "Did you not have anything on your mind yesterday?"

 

"I bought the notebook and wrote what was on my mind, but I will be honest, I haven't been feeling or thinking about a lot of things.  I am sorry."

 

"No need to be sorry man, if you don't feel anything you didn't feel anything."  He made more notes and continued, "Let me explain what I want to accomplish on our sessions..."

 

Jeff went into a long drawn out explanation that he wanted to get him better emotionally that he stressed that he wasn't here to judge him or belittle him.  Ricky needed to feel safe with him in order to have it work.  Each session will be conducted on Ricky's comfort level.  The reasons he is here will be probed but only if Ricky is comfortable with it.

 

"So tell me more about yourself."  Jeff started off after the explanation.

 

Ricky went on to tell him about his life leaving out certain aspects of his life.   He responded to questions that Jeff asked and was completely honest with him.  He just didn't feel comfortable getting into certain areas of his life. 

 

"You aren't comfortable are you?"

 

"No I am not.  I don't like letting this much information out to someone I have only known for a two days."  Ricky said a bit too hostile.

 

"That's cool.  Want to know anything about me?"  Jeff asked.

 

"Not really...Well okay...You are gay aren't you?"

 

"Yes.  You really don't waste time.  Is that important to you that I am gay?"

 

"Yes.  In a way, I think that some of the things that we are going to get into will be easier with someone that is gay."  Ricky said being honest and trying to keep the attention off of him.

 

"That's cool; you also know how to deflect attention from yourself quite well too."  Jeff said with a cock smile.

 

"You are good."  Ricky said with a smile.

 

"What is your relationship with your family like?"  Jeff asked.

 

"My family is alright, I guess.  We use to have a great time together before they opened the law firm and spent more and more time there.  Things also changed a lot between us when I came out.  They treated me like their son but they also seemed to treat me differently."

 

"How so?"  Jeff asked getting excited breaking through the barrier that Ricky put up.

 

"I don't know it felt like they preferred to spend time at work rather than with me.  Nothing big, we still had dinner together now and then, holidays and birthdays together, but it was still like an obligation on their part."   Ricky said it without any emotion leaving Jeff curious as to whether or not he is able to fell.

 

"How did it make feel?"

 

"At the time, I was happy to be with them no matter what, but now I don't really care."  Ricky stated.

 

"You don't feel anything?"  Jeff asked.

 

"The last couple of months I don't feel anything.  I had a best friend yell at me about something and said some hurtful things, but I didn't care.  I just sat there listened to what she had to yell at me about and left.  My feelings weren't hurt or anything."  Ricky said no emotion in his voice.

 

"You smiled awhile ago, you felt something there."

 

"Yeah because it was funny, but it was over almost immediately."  Ricky said his monotone voice concerning Jeff.

 

"Then let's talk about the incident that brought you here..."  He pointed to Ricky's arm.

 

"I didn't try to kill myself," Ricky said his voice still monotone, "I dropped a piece of a model I was building behind my work bench and went to retrieve it and cut myself on the corner."

 

"The ER report stated that your wounds were indicative of a suicide attempt..."  Jeff started, but was interrupted by Ricky.

 

"Look I promised you at the first meeting that I wouldn't lie to you, why would I lie about this?"  Ricky asked.

 

"Because you are embarrassed about what you did."

 

"What I told you, is the absolute truth.  I didn't try to kill myself, I promise you that."   Ricky was upset but his voice was monotone still.

 

Jeff checked his watch and saw that time was about to run out, "It is almost time to call it quits.  Tonight please make an honest effort to write in the journal."

 

"I'll try."

 

Ricky went home that night and wrote ten pages of what was on his mind, but in all honesty he still didn't feel anything.  He put the notebook back into his messenger bag and went to bed falling asleep around 7:00 p.m.  A common practice since he's been out of the hospital.

 

 

At the next session, Jeff didn't waste time about the supposed suicide attempt. "Coming back to the incident in the workshop, ER notes state that you didn't show any emotions..."

 

"Look the entire reason I am here is because everyone says that I am not able to show emotions.  I was in pain; I was crying...I felt a lot of pain.   Did the ER notes state I was crying?"  Ricky asked finally getting a bit of bite in his voice.

 

"Do you want to move on?"  Jeff asked.  He thought it would be a good enough time as any to start exploring the real reasoning behind Ricky's lack of emotions and sessions.

 

"Can we?  I promise you if I wanted to kill myself I wouldn't be here talking to you, I would have succeeded."  Ricky said his monotone voice coming back.

 

"While that statement concerns me, I am willing to move on.  Tell me about Jason."  Jeff asked making notes and observing Ricky's body language.

 

Ricky froze and entire face became hard to read, "What do you want to know?"

 

Jeff smiled to himself knowing that he was going to have to question him throughout this entire process.   "If you are asked something I want you to be detail.  Some of the questions will be very personal and might be embarrassing, but I promise you I will not make fun of you or belittle your responses."

 

"Where did you two meet?" Jeff responded.

 

"We met in school.  A new school actually that started in preschool to high school.  We were put into the same preschool, but didn't get to know each other until kindergarten."  Ricky said with a little emotion coming into his voice.

 

"Go on, how did that meeting go?"

 

"Well he stole my nap mat.  I went to the bathroom and came back and didn't have a mat, he took my blue mat and put it with his red mat and combined the two.  We fought, but the teacher made us sit in the corner and work out our differences.  We found out we liked the same things and had more in common."  Ricky said with a bit of smile crossing his face.

 

"Were you two inseparable?"

 

"Yeah very much so, it seemed like we completed something in each other.  From that day on we had monthly sleep-over and would do almost anything together."  Ricky said a smile on his face, which disappeared instantly.

 

"Your friendship was different from your friendship with other classmates?"  Jeff asked writing notes.

 

"Yes.  I felt closer to him than anyone else.  I found that I would die for him if the need arose.  My other classmates were also more closed off to us than Jason and I was."  Ricky stated with a far away look on his face.

 

"Explain." 

 

"They were close to us during school, but they wouldn't anything let us know about their family life to show.  No sleep-over and get together on the weekend.  We were only friends in school."

 

Jeff wrote a few more lines on his legal pad.  "So you and Jason were basically in your own little world?"

 

"Not really, when we were together it was like that, but when we were with a group of friends or other people we were able to function like normal people.  But if we were together we seemed to focus on each other and no one else."  Ricky looked off into space again.

 

Jeff wrote some more and continued, "When things became sexual for you?"

 

"High school."  Ricky said matter of factly.

 

"High school, are you sure?"  Jeff asked.

 

"Kindergarten we started to talk about masturbation, and masturbated together a lot, but we didn't do anything until, I think, sophomore year of high school."

 

"Explain to me more."

 

Ricky sighed, "Kindergarten to first grade we jacked off two to three times a day together, never touching each other.  Around second grade, we started to experiment a bit more.  It had to do with the stuff he was storing in his wall."

 

"What are you talking about in his wall?"

 

"I guess I should explain that his bedroom wasn't the normal room, but it was in the attic.  There is this big alcove that his mother made into his sleeping chamber covered with blue curtains.  Next to this alcove he had an entire section of wall that used to be bookshelves that is grandfather built; his grandmother didn't like and converted them into secret compartments." Ricky started.

 

"Around the time our parents wanted us to get some freedom so we started to take the city bus.  Occasionally he would not take the bus home with me, helping out the teacher.  This allowed him to get out of class at least twenty minutes earlier."

 

Jeff jotted more notes, and asked, "Where did he go?"

 

"He went to this adult bookstore that was on the first stop on our way home.  In the back there were boxes of books, videos, magazines, and toys that the company was going to throw away.  According to Jason they put them out in the back so the products wouldn't go to waste.  It didn't make sense to me, but after a few months, he accumulated quite a bit of things."

 

"So you started to experiment because of these items?  What were the genres of these magazine did he get."  Jeff asked jotting note furiously.

 

"Ranged from vanilla to non-vanilla, straight to gay, towards the end of third grade they were mostly putting out gay magazines, focusing on SM, CBT, and other stuff."  Ricky said thinking about what he was saying.

 

"How did you know he was doing this?"  Jeff asked.

 

"I was curious about why he was not taking the bus with me and followed him one day and saw everything that was going on.  I followed him all the way home and saw him take them upstairs to the back entrance to his attic."  Ricky said his monotone voice coming back.

 

"What happened after that?" Jeff asked.

 

"We went from masturbating together, to masturbating each other.  Sometimes it went as simple as sitting next each other masturbating each other.  It escalated with some of the CBT and SM magazine." 

 

"So you had sex prior to the sophomore year?"

 

"No masturbation isn't sex; at least it isn't to me.  You aren't getting intimate like you are with actual intercourse.  Sure there is some intimacy, but not the sort you feel when you are actually connected with each other."  Ricky's face was emotionless.

 

"Okay, when did it get to this point where you were intimate with him?" Jeff asked.

 

"By the time we were in the sixth grade, I was in the habit of spending nights at his house almost every day.  My parents were working constantly and were more than happy to push me off on someone else.  We slept in the same bed, and experimented almost every night. I don't think what we did was sex, more frottage.  The sessions would last for an hour, of just rubbing each other bodies and kissing.  It felt good to have that sort of connection with someone."

 

"In what the school calls intermediate school, basically seventh to eight grade, we continued this even though I started seeing a girl.  I never thought much about it, but we continued to play regardless of our relationship status."  Ricky looked out the window of the office.

 

"Was Jason upset that you were seeing this girl?"  Jeff asked.

 

"Nope, he even played with her from time to time.  I thought that it was weird at first but he was like my brother and didn't mind sharing.  Stupid, I know."  Ricky said.

 

"I am not judging you.  What happened to this girlfriend of yours?"  Jeff asked jotting information into the legal pad.

 

"She broke up with for another guy, she didn't think a Hispanic guy was in style to date anymore and started to see the black guy."  Ricky said rolling his eyes.  "I didn't really care either because I sort of became bored with her.  It was all about her and nothing about me."

 

"So your sophomore year was when you and Jason started to have sex?  How did that happen?"  Jeff asked pen on pad.

 

"It started on a class trip to the Monterrey where our biography class was going to study marine life; we were given permission to go to my parent's house on the coast.  The school signed off on it right away because they weren't going to stay over night and we told them that our family will be there on Friday, which we were off for some holiday."  Ricky said keeping his focus on a rose that was blooming in the garden outside.

 

"We took a cab to the house and settled in. It wasn't a lie about our family coming up they were going to come up on Saturday and we'd have all day Friday to ourselves.   Thursday night we went to the docks and ate seafood at this restaurant that had the clam chowder in the sourdough bread.  We came home and started to get the house in order and get the rooms straightened up.  Our room was saved for last and watched television."

 

"That night in bed we started our jacking routine, which was basically us beside each other stroking our own cocks.  Then we started to stroke each other.  Am I getting too detailed?"  Ricky asked a comical look coming across his face.

 

"Not at all this will help me with your dynamics, go on."  Jeff said.

 

"Well we turned to each other and began kissing each other grinding against each other, but this time he kept pinning me down to the bed and tried to penetrate me, but I thought we were just wrestling and started to position him off me.  We did this a few times until he finally pinned me down and broke the kiss telling me that he wanted more.  I just shook my head 'yes' to him..."  Ricky stopped at Jeff's laughing.  "What the hell?"

 

"I am not laughing at you man, my first time with a guy was the same way, I didn't know what he was trying to do and thought that if things were going to this step he'd at least say something prior.  I am sorry, please go on."  Jeff said.

 

"Oh okay.   Well we finally got into a rhythm of things, he fuck me and pull out, and switch, until we were ready to cum.  We would lay back and jack each other until we were shooting our loads."  Ricky said returning his gaze to the garden.

 

"I see, when did you guys started to ejaculate?"  Jeff asked.

 

"I started in the fourth grade, I think, and he started in the fifth grade."  Ricky stated looking up in the air as if the answer would appear.  "Why?"

 

"Well I find it interesting that you guys limited yourselves to masturbation and never once tried oral or would inseminate each other."  Jeff stated.

 

"We did oral every now and then, but throughout grammar school we were more interested in body contact our hands on each other and then our bodies.  When we did ejaculate we never did it on each other just ourselves.  We started oral in seventh grade, but not that often, and never ejaculating in each other's mouths."  Ricky said thinking about that, and continued, 'Actually we did oral now and then, but we preferred the contact over it."

 

"Why do you think?"  Jeff asked.

 

"I can honestly say I do not know.  It was something we never really wanted to do.  If we came while doing a frottage sessions we would rub the cum into our bodies, but that was about it, we never ate it.  Well that is not true; I tried it once when he fell asleep."  Ricky said looking out at the clock on the wall.

 

"It is about time for us to call it quits, instead of writing out your journal, please start keeping Word document and just e-mail it to me as an attachment.  I am proud that you are writing more even if it just random thoughts."  Jeff said getting up and escorting him to the exit.

That night Ricky went home, shaved, showered, and sat in front of his computer and typed out five pages of thoughts.  Just random shit that came to his head, reading through it before sending it off, he imagined that Jeff probably saw stuff in it that he, himself, did not see.  He e-mailed Jeff at 7:00 p.m. right before climbing into bed.  

 

 

The fourth session with Jeff, Ricky was about an half hour early for it, dressed in all black-his standard uniform as of late-and a baseball cap on backward hiding his bushy hair.   Jeff made mental note of Ricky's demeanor and appearance.  His bushy hair was neatly combed at the last three sessions, and his attire was more casual than grunge look.

 

"I like your more than casual look today, you feeling alright?"   Jeff asked sitting in his chair.

 

"I am alright, my friend woke me up late last night upset about her boyfriend, and she wanted to talk it over.  So I didn't get back to back until like ten o'clock."  Ricky said monotone voice still in place.

 

"I noticed that you sent your e-mail at around 7:00 p.m., when did you go to bed?"  Jeff asked.

 

"At seven, same as every night."  Ricky said matter of factly like everyone did that.

 

"That is early, how long have you been doing that?"  Jeff asked knowing that he is getting off the topic he wanted to discuss, but jotted notes on his legal pad anyway.

 

"Since I have been out of the hospital, I just get tired quicker and want to sleep."  Ricky said like it wasn't a big deal.

 

"Okay, let us start where we left off."  He referred to his notes. "What was your relationship like with Jason after intercourse?"

 

"Well it was stronger than ever.  We found a connection with the penetrating; I think that by the time our senior year came around we were closer than ever and more intimate with each other-almost able to finish each other's thoughts."  Ricky continued after thinking some more, "And coming back to the cum issue, our second encounter, which was the next morning, we did cum in each other."

 

"Okay.  How did that make you feel?"

 

"Wonderful!  I was complete afterwards, I felt like I had a part of him with me.  He explained it to me that morning as he wanted a part of each other inside of us because the body absorbs the semen making it a part of the 'hosts' body.  He said when I 'seeded' him he felt complete and as if our bond was forever."  Ricky explained.

 

"That's a nice sentiment.  So you went to oral?"

 

"Yes we escalated into oral and seeding (as he likes to put it).  Our relationship changed too, it turned into more of a boyfriend-esque relationship.  We decided that we'd be monogamous and will not date anyone else, which was what we were doing already."  Ricky focus returned to the rose blooming in the garden.

 

"By the time we were in our senior year we were having sex every night, and it matured into something more than fumbling around.  It was like the wrestling turned into foreplay with a lot of kissing, and fondling.  Sometimes we would not have sex just the kissing and massaging of our bodies.  As long as we were together that was mattered the most."  Ricky said returning his gaze on Jeff who continued to write notes.

 

"How did your parents treat you and Jason, and his parents?"   Jeff asked.

 

"My parents loved Jason thought he was every bit the all American boy, which he was.  He played sports, and a guy's guy.   They were disappointed with him when he came out, but thought that he was a good influence on me.   His parents loved Jason and were disappointed that he came out, but they accepted him for who he was."  Ricky said a smile forming and disappearing, "Jack and Marie were in love with their son and bent over backwards for him."

 

"Made you jealous?"  Jeff asked.

 

"Not at all, mostly because they treated me the same way, I was the other child they couldn't have.   Jason was a miracle baby; Marie had six miscarriages before finally having Jason.  So they took a shine to me early on."  Ricky stated.

 

"Your senior year tell me about it."

 

"Around the time our senior year came around, we were having, like I said, a boyfriend/boyfriend relationship.  It wasn't your typical relationship; it was more like a husband and wife relationship.  We still maintained a versatile relationship in the bedroom."   Ricky said focusing on the rose again.

 

"How did you feel about that?"

 

"I didn't mind it really.  I just thought that it was weird that we were basically were in this sort of relationship since day one, and confirming it just didn't make sense." 

 

"You came out around then?"

 

"I came out in our sophomore year and Jason came out two days later.  It was about three weeks after we had sex."   Ricky frowned.

 

"How did the family take it?"

 

"My parents said that if that made me happy that all that mattered.  They were disappointed, but it wasn't like they were in my life that much too really be bothered by it.   Jack and Marie were happy for me, basically happy for Jason too, but that didn't make Jason happy."  Ricky looked at Jeff, and continued, "He was actually pissed off because his parents accepted him.  He wanted my parent's reaction."

 

"Back to your relationship..."

 

"Graduation night, we went to a hotel spent six hours there.  We were eighteen years old at the time.   We left graduation for our mutual parties and then met up at the hotel room.   He snuck out a bottle of champagne from his house, I snuck out some Cuban cigars that my father had."

 

"What did your parents think about you not staying at the parties?"

 

"My parents didn't care they were already cleaning up by the time my twenty minutes were up.  Jack and Marie were alright with it, especially Marie because she freaked out over the fatality of seniors and the correlation with parties.  As long as we were in the hotel and did whatever we were going to do they were fine."  Ricky said and then continued, "We were drinking champagne and smoking cigars very tame compared to other parties we were invited to."

 

"Go on."

 

"We went to the bedroom and strip naked.  We kissed for the longest time, exploring each other body.  Jason positioned himself on top of me kissing me and teasing my nipples.  We got into a sixty-nine position sucking each other until we both came.  Yes we swallowed and he did too.  Then we continued to talk until we were hard again.  Around this time, it took Jason a few minutes to get hard again."

 

He continued, "Before I knew it he was in my gently doing an in and out motion.  I felt him cum inside me after a few minutes, but he stayed hard, something he has never done before.  He worked on kissing my neck and massaging my ribs. I am not sure what he was doing, but I went along with what he was doing."

 

"I was getting lost in the menstruation and was marveling at how he was still hard.   We came together, him inside me on both of us.  He pulled out of me and let me clean him up and then we slept for an hour or something."  Ricky said not showing any emotions still.

 

"Okay the meeting is almost over with, but I want to thank you for being so open and having such a progress for four sessions.  Same schedule next week with the same journal entries.  How are you feeling?"  Jeff asked making notes.

 

"I am tired, but doing well thanks."  Ricky said feeling eager to get the hell out of the room.

 

 

After Jeff released him, Ricky went to his favorite Mexican restaurant to get a quick bite to eat and then to the local park to lie under his favorite tree to watch the sky and the clouds, makes him relaxed.  After an hour or so he made his way home and cleaned it up. 

 

Ricky charged his iPod and retired to his office to write his journal for Jeff and decided to make the jump and send him all of his journal entries from the fourth grade on.  He closed his eyes relaxing and letting the music take him away from it all.   By the time the first song was over he was completely relaxed and ready for bed.   He didn't care if Jeff didn't like it that he was going to bed at 7:00 p.m., he was tired and just wanted to sleep the rest of the day away.

 

Jeff relaxed in bed reclining against the headboard reading the latest psychiatric journal.  He flipped through the pages and thought about his sessions today and kept coming back to Ricky's sessions.  Even though he was on the fourth session, Jeff felt that Ricky has a lot further to go until he can get the scheduling changed.

 

 


      

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