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Message-ID: <20070121201334.69872.qmail@web37303.mail.mud.yahoo.com>
From: don mumford <thinat20@yahoo.com>
Subject: ST   MIKE, HIS BIKE & ME    5/ 5   t / t (sexual discovery)
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===================


I knew gay guys fucked each other in the ass, but I
never really had it in my head that Mike and me were
really 'gay guys'.  Of course we were, but I had yet
to totally assimilate that information I guess.  Guys
in the neighborhood called ass fucking 'cornholing'. 
I have no idea why.  Whatever you called it,  I was
NOT  hoping and praying Mike would do it to me.  His
cock was much too big to stick up there.  But, what to
say to Mike about that?   I couldn't think how to
respond.  He wasn't at a loss for words though, "Are
you going to piss me off and ruin our reunion night by
lying about not wanting me to fuck your boy pussy? 
Tell me you're not going to do that, Richie,  because
I'm getting a feeling you are."  Mike was getting that
angry tone to his voice and I didn't want to
disappoint him so I said that yes, I confess, I really
did want to feel that fat cock up inside me.  "OK,
that's just what I'd expect a fag like you to ask for,
Richie.  And, I know you are hoping I'll break your
cherry too, right?  Say that too."  So I said, "and
break my cherry."  Mike said, "I knew it."

Obviously these were all actually Mike's wishes.  All
the things he wanted to do to me,  but what benefit do
I get by pointing this out to him?  I need him in my
life a great deal and I don't think he needs me nearly
as much in his life...he needs me a little,  or maybe
some..... but not nearly as much as I need him.  
Hell, I love him.  I'm in love with him.  I'd do
anything for him.      None-the-less,  the idea of
Mike fucking my ass scared me shitless! ...... no pun
intended.  He already had  a boner when he said, "OK
Richie, I'll take care of it for you.  You could have
asked me sooner if  you wanted it so bad.   Now here's
what you do,  first get that Vaseline from the
bathroom.  Then come on back to Mikey and suck on my
cock for a little while.  Then, if you are a real good
boy,  I'll fuck your boy pussy for you until you're
squealing like a little school girl.  Sound good,
Richie?"   I tried to say something,  but the words
stuck in my throat and then they squeaked out as,
"Mike,  I'm real nervous about this!!   and I feel
like I have to take a crap.... real  bad!"

I tried to do a crap in the toilet, but I didn't have
to go.  It was all in my head. Back to Mike I go,
carry the tube of Vaseline and he is all smiles.  He's
been in this great mood ever since coming back from
that 'thing' with his brother.  "Give me that, Richie.
 As a special treat tonight you can just kiss my cock
and then start sucking it.  Get it good and hard and
wet and slippery, Richie...it's going up your bum hole
real soon."  I kissed it real nice and went right in
to sucking that yummy cock.  It was already hard,  but
it did get harder and it got wet and slippery too. 
Mike said that was real good and for me to lay on my
side facing the wall.  I felt his finger at my hole
and it was full of the Vaseline.  He worked it around
some and told me to relax and he pushed his finger
in.....just to the first joint.

"How's that feel Richie?"  I told him it felt good and
he pushed in a couple of inches more and wiggled it
around.  That felt OK too and I relaxed a bit.  "I've
only done this with one girl, Richie, and she was much
tighter than your hole so you got nothing to worry
about.  I've got to do all the work anyway.  Here goes
another finger, relax now!"  That was not a great
feeling but after a couple minutes I liked having Mike
put his fingers up my ass.  It was becoming fun.  The
two fingers were tight at first but felt loose after a
minute or so.  "OK, Richie, I can't wait too much
longer.  You got a wicked cute ass here.  Certainly
cuter than Pattie's, I'll tell you that!  Let's just
hope you don't walk as funny as she did after I fucked
her a new asshole."  He put the swollen head of his
cock right on my hole and he told me he wanted me to
push back on it until it popped inside me.

I wanted to feel it inside me by now too so I pushed
back and I think Mike pushed forward and in it went. 
Fuck! Did that hurt.  I said, "Pull it out!  Quick!...
it ripped my hole.  I can feel that it's ripped.  It
hurts like fire." Mike held onto my hips tight and
told me to give it a minute.  He told me that he can
see there isn't any rip in my hole.  I wanted so much
to please Mike that I held my breath until I could
feel my face was completely red.......and then I  blew
out short burst of air waiting for the burning pain to
subside.  Mike said, "Feel a little better?    I sure
hope it does, Richie, because it feels so fucking
awesome to me and my cock!    I can't even begin to
tell you how awesome!"  Mike saying that made me feel
pretty good and I told him my hole felt a little
better,  "but don't do any more for now.  OK, Mike". 
He said "OK" and then he pushed his boner in at least
four more inches and I saw stars...

Mike kept telling me how great I was and how awesome
it felt on his cock so I persevered and after a while
it stopped hurting me.  I was so proud to be able to
do this for Mike and then he began slowly to pull it
out and push it back in and I began to feel this
incredible sensation at certain spots and my cock got
so hard that now it hurt me.  "Ooh..Ooh, Mike that
feels so good right there....right when you pushed in
there makes me feel like I'm almost going to cum!"   
He grunted with the effort of pumping my hole and the
feeling had me pushing back and "oh"ing and "ahh"ing
like mad.  What a fabulous feeling this became  ....it
made me squirm with pleasure.  

I could feel the sweat between Mike's crotch and belly
and my ass cheeks as he
'smack'...'smack'...'smack'...'smacked' up against me.
I was almost delirious with all the pleasure I was
feeling and I did squeal a little bit when  I shot off
a long string of cum against the wall.. . "Agggrrr... 
Ohhfuck!  oh my god"  and another shot of cum and then
my ass was being filled with slippery, juicy, sloppy,
creamy cum from Mike's boner and that felt so
wonderful too!.....Mike was making guttural sounds and
breathing like he might hyperventilate.  He kept
smacking against my ass for 30 seconds after I'd felt
that huge cum shot inside me..... then he was slowing
down and then stopping altogether.  Neither of us
could talk.  We just breathed in oxygen and lay there
sweating.   It was awesome.....

When Mike got his composure together he was very
sweet, very nice to me and complimented me on my first
fuck, but then he added...  "You know Richie,  because
I took your cherry....well,   now your boy cunt
belongs to me.  I took your manhood too ,in a way,
when I took that cherry, but in return you get to have
me fuck you now and again.  Isn't that swell?"  I took
an exaggerated breath and told him I didn't believe
any of that bull shit.   I really enjoyed the fuck
even though, I admit,   I didn't think I was going to.
  But I surely did.    And, I said in a very
uncharacteristic way for me,   why did he always have
to end up acting like some bossy hard ass ...like with
that "you took my manhood"  crap Why can't you for
once drop that shit and just  be a friend to me?
 .....one who just had an unbelievably intimate
experience with another friend?  "Why is that, Mike?  
Why not just be nice to me?"  I said all that while
still facing the wall and with Mike's softening cock 
still in me.    His cum was drooling slowly out of my
hole, around his cock and down my ass cheeks.

Mike was quiet as he slowly  pulled out of me.  I felt
very empty.  He put his hand on my shoulder and pulled
me gently over on my back and looked at me.  I could
feel his cum drool out my ass faster now, wetting  the
sheet under me.  The sheet in turn then felt cold and
wet on my ass.  I thought..."Mike's cum is drooling
out from inside my hole.... how odd".  Mike said, "I
was  just goofing around with you saying those things,
 Richie.  You're right, that was a fabulous experience
and you're right again.... we are the best of friends.
 Very special friends.         OK, now Richie?"  I
looked at his beautiful face and smiled a small smile
and bobbed my head, "yeah, OK'..

After that first experience he fucked me at least once
a day and I sucked him off whenever we could, but we
eliminated all that "kiss it first" stuff.  It was
just two guys giving each other a lot of pleasure.   I
asked my old man if Mike could extend his stay and he
said, "Sure, as long as he wants......you guys are no
trouble."   The old man hadn't smacked me in the face
once since Mike moved in and I started to believe that
maybe my father actually liked me a little.  Aside
from the screwing, everything was pretty much the same
as usual for Mike and me..

We were into the middle of August and Mike's big
challenge was getting me to ride the "double shot". 
That amusement ride was diabolical in my mind and I
couldn't make myself get on it.  The thing shoots you
100 feet straight up in the air in one second.  You
only had your ass strapped in a little plastic seat. 
Guys told me that at the top you felt like you were
the only one there and that there was a very real fear
that the seat was not strong enough to support you,
just hanging out there in space.  While that thought
goes through your head and your feet dangle in open
air and you can see for miles around.....the seat
suddenly shoots straight down for 70 feet or so and
then before you can swallow it shoots up to the very
top and you're afraid it will fly off the top this
time.  It stops abruptly and flies immediately down to
crash on the cement base,  but it stops a couple feet
above  instead.  Who the fuck wants that?!  Apparently
lots of people do as it is the most popular ride on
the entire boardwalk.  I wanted no parts of it.

Mike joked about it and called me a girlie pussy boy
and other less flattering names, but I wouldn't go on
it.  He got mad at me and whispered he didn't want to
fuck a little girl tonight so I better go on the
"Double Shot" and prove I was a man.  I said, "Do you
want me to wear a skirt or a dress tonight?"  I
wouldn't go on it.  I know it disappointed Mike...it
became one of his two crusades, but I just couldn't
make myself go on that fucking ridiculous, scary ride.
 His other crusade was trying to talk me into getting
a buzz haircut like his and like...well, like all the
other guys.  I was the only one with long hair...I
wouldn't give in.  It became a matter of principle. 

One night Mike came up from the beach side of the
boardwalk and motioned for me, Tony and Joey to join
him on the beach.  He had a case of Miller Lite beer
that his brother bought for him.  "Let's get high
guys".  I'd had beer five or six times and I thought
it tasted like shit, but I wasn't going to wimp out. 
I drank it and said how smooth and refreshing it was
etc...  We were secluded under the boardwalk and
pretty much out of sight.  To help get this stuff down
we smoked cigarettes and played a few drinking games
where if you lost you had to chug half a can of beer. 
In about 20 minutes we were all acting silly.  Marty
came down with Kyle after a while and the six of us
eventually finished the case. 

Up on the boardwalk again we were feeling the alcohol
in our blood and embellishing that feeling with our
individual interpretations of being drunk.  As all the
alcohol got into our blood stream most of us would
actually qualify as being drunk for real.  Of course
everything we did had us laughing like crazy...funny
or not.  We acted over-sober whenever we spotted a
boardwalk cop........ all in all we were acting like
total fools.... but having fun.  As the night wore on
we all split up and Mike and me ended up on the beach
near the water.  We were sitting on the sand and Mike
had his arm around my shoulder talking about the up
coming school year and how great it will be if we're
in some of the same classes.

We both were still very much under the influence of
the beer,  but we were coherent....not babbling or
anything like that.  During a lull in the conversation
I thought, in my altered state of mind,  that it would
be a good idea to say, "Oh, Mike..I meant to tell you
something a while ago, it's  just that.....well,  I
love you.  That is, I mean...I'm in love with you. 
Please don't be mad."  Mike took his arm off my
shoulder and stood up.  "Don't say that, Richie. 
We're not really queers.  We're just going through a
phase and, you know...just screwing around a little. 
Having fun...that's all.  Don't do that gay stuff, god
damn it....you'll ruin everything !"  I stood up and
said I couldn't help it.  That's how I felt, but I
wouldn't say it again if it bothered him.  I said I
didn't care about being queer or gay or whatever he
wanted to call it.....

We walked up the beach for a while, side by side, 
without talking and then Mike said, "That's OK Richie.
 You can love me I guess... and you can tell me it now
and then if you want.  We're special, you and
me...that's all.  We're special.  OK, Richie?"  This
was so like Mike.  He thought he'd given me another
gift and maybe he had.  If he thought it was a gift
than it was a gift.  I knew he wouldn't say he loved
me.  I think he did, but I'd love to hear it once so I
could be sure.  I really wanted to hold his hand or
put my arm around him, but I knew better.  Later, back
in our bedroom, he fucked me real slow and dreamy
like.  Next morning we definitely had hangovers. 
Nothing more was said about the "I love you"
conversation.

Mike and me began acting more like best buddies as the
summer came to a close.  Tony noticed it and commented
that it looks like Mike really liked me a lot.  I
looked at Tony trying to detect an underlying meaning
to his comment, but he just smiled at me as always. 
He had no agenda, Tony was happy when his friends were
happy.   Another important  development was that
Mike's mother had absolutely no problem with Mike
staying on longer with us.  My old man had a 30 second
telephone conversation with her about it.  Thirty
seconds was a long telephone conversation for him. 
All was fabulous.  Every ten days or so Mike and his
brother had been doing that all night trip thing, but
I didn't asked anything about that.  I just missed
Mike like crazy and was thrilled to see him when he
got back.  The last trip Mike came back with a  black
eye and a cut on his nose.  He just said he'd gotten
into a fight.  No big deal.

Our fucking became as smooth and natural as my blow
jobs had become.  We experimented with different
position and Mike fucked me while we were having fun
and  other times he fucked me with feeling too;  like
maybe feelings of love.  We had a lot of cuddling and
kissing associated with the screwing.  My hole was
sore quite often, but rarely sore enough that I'd
mention it to Mike.  Life couldn't be better as far as
I was concerned.  We had one week before school
started and Mike had one last trip with his brother. 
I was really disappointed he was going to be away, but
he assured me it was the last time till next summer.

I was on the boards with Tony keeping my ears and eyes
open for Mike's motorbike.  He'd been with his brother
the night before on their last trip of the year and I
couldn't wait to see him.  He was very late though. 
It was almost four o'clock in the afternoon and he was
usually back by two o'clock or so.  Looking down the
boards I saw someone running...it looked like chubby
Mac.  What the hell? .....he never ran anywhere.   It
was Mac  though.....and he came up to us all out of
breath.  He had a strange look on his face too.  Out
of breath he blurted out, "Mike's in the hospital. 
That prick Jose Gonzalez stabbed him from behind. 
Mike's brother killed Jose and is in jail right now. 
This all came down less than an hour ago according to
the radio report.  It all sucks!  It was a bad drug
deal or something...those fucking spics are in for it
for now, god damn it!..."

I couldn't speak at first.... then when I could all I
said was "What?"  Tony stepped right in and said, "Get
it together Richie.  We'll catch the bus at 21st
street and it will drop us right at the hospital.  OK,
Mac?"  Mac said it was cool and that he'd try to find
the rest of the guys and meet us at the hospital. 
"Tell Mike we'll be coming to see him as soon as we
can.  Don'r forget to tell him, OK Tony?."  Mac was
off down the boards with Tony and me heading in the
opposite direction.  It was a 15 minute walk to the
bus stop and Tony was talking in his usual lisping way
as we hurried along.  He said we shouldn't be too
worried because millions of people go to the hospital
each year and then pretty soon they go home.  No big
deal!   Mac had said the radio reported  Mike was in
"serious" condition.  Tony said, "No shit.  Do you go
to the hospital in good condition?  Of course not, you
got a problem that's serious you go to the fucking
hospital.  There are a lot worse things than
"serious"...like "critical"  or stuff like that."  I
wasn't sure if Tony was trying to get me not to worry
or get himself not to worry.  I was worried though
because Mike was stabbed and because the police were
involved. 

Police are not known to be very helpful.  You have
dealings with the police, you got problems.  I was
worried, but mostly I wanted just to talk to Mike. 
I'd quickly know if I should really worry or just
worry a little as soon as I talked with Mike.  We just
made the bus by running the last block.  The bus ride
itself sucked because the damn thing stopped every
other block, but we got to the hospital less than 35
minutes after talking with Mac.   The outside of the
emergency room entrance  looked like a police car and
ambulance convention.  A lot of each with the blue
lights flashing on some and red lights flashing on
others.   This couldn't be a result of a small time
drug deal gone bad. ....... It wasn't.  As we tried to
make our way to the emergency room door we over heard
a cop tell a lady that there had been  a sixteen car
pile up on the Garden State Parkway and quite a few of
the injured as well as  two fatalities were coming to
this hospital.  He said no one, family or other wise, 
was getting in the emergency room until things got
under control in there........Fuck!!!

Tony looked around and said "Come on Richie, forget
the emergency room we'll go in the hospital's front
door and find our way to the emergency room from the
inside.  It took me by surprise to see the way Tony
was taking charge.  I was grateful  because I couldn't
think of what to do from one second to the next.  I
was desperate to see Mike, but I couldn't think how to
do that so I followed Tony.  He pushed right in and,
without hesitating,  walked right past the reception
desk and the big sign in big red letters that read
"SIGN-IN BEFORE ENTERING".  There were six or seven
people waiting and arguing with the two reception desk
people when we walked right past them.  One of the
receptionist, a big black man with a deep voice yelled
at us, "Hey, where do you think you two are going?!"
 .... but Tony never slowed down and a lady in front of
the black guy started up  yelling at him again so he
went back to dealing with her and gave up on Tony and
me.  We were in.  Tony only muttered "Fuck you" under
his breath when the guy had yelled out to us. 

It didn't take long to find the emergency room and we
looked in through big glass doors, but there were two
cops at the doors.  Tony and me looked at each other
and then at a tall, thin  orderly pushing a stretcher
on wheels through swinging doors marked "HOSPITAL
PERSONNEL ONLY".  We followed the orderly through the
doors and around a corner and there we saw a long
hallway leading to the emergency room proper.  Lots of
hospital nurses and doctors and orderlies, as well as,
police and men wearing suits with ID badges hanging
out of their jacket pockets were milling around in
this hall .....and they were all shouting at each
other or talking on cell phones..   It was a mad
house.  All along the wall were  stretchers on wheels
and every one had a person laying under a sheet on the
stretcher.  It was very loud in here......and very
scary to realize a person was hurt on each of those
stretchers.  There were about twenty in all.

I began to scan each one starting from the top of the
hallway where we'd just entered and I couldn't believe
my eyes.......on the third one down from us was the
top of Mike's head.  I'd recognize that blond buzz cut
anywhere.  "There he is Tony", I said as I grabbed
Tony's arm.  "Let's go."  And we casually strolled
down the hall just like we belonged there.  I walked
up to the stretcher and, forgetting Tony was watching,
I put my arm under Mike's neck and holding his hand I
hugged him up to the side of my face.  He felt cold
out here in the hall and I was going to pull up the
thin blanket at Mike's feet when I heard Mike say
something.  It was so loud in that god damn place I
had to put my ear right next to his lips to listen.

Almost immediately someone grabbed me from behind and
lifted me right off the ground yelling at me, "What
the hell do you think you're doing?  How did you get
in here?  Who are you?".  I swung my arms and kicked
my legs yelling back, "I was listening to my friend
tell me something!  Let me down!".  I twisted around
to see who had me.  It was a large orderly about fifty
years old, but obviously still quite strong no matter
his age.  He said in a quieter voice as he was
lowering me to my feet, "Your friend can't talk to
you.  I'm sorry,  but he passed away in the ambulance
just before it got here.   That was less than 15
minutes ago.  He arrived here DOA from a stabbing
wound.  I just rolled his stretcher down here a few
minutes ago."   

I stared at him for a fraction of a second before
screaming at the top of my lungs "He isn't dead you
idiot !!..... he just told me he loved me and he was
squeezing my hand when he said it!  He's not dead.  He
is alive!  Get a doctor, hurry ...hurry the fuck
up....where is a fucking doctor!"  I was in a frenzy
and the orderly looked confused and backed away from
me a few steps.  A woman in a white coat  striding
toward us yelled "what the hell is going on?"  The
orderly pointed at Mike and said,   "that boy is
alive"...  she grabbed someones stethoscope and
putting in the ear pieces listened to Mike's heart
beat.  Then against the side of Mike's neck.  The hall
around us had become very quiet all of a sudden.  She
looked up with a puzzled look on her face and after a
few seconds looked around to find someone to report
her findings too and settled on the orderly, "He has
no heart beat or pulse.  This boy is dead."

Someone screamed "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  HE'S ALIVE. HE
TALKED TO ME!".  The orderly came over to me but I
started to fight my way to Mike.  I was swinging my
arms and kicking my feet and screaming.  It was real
loud in there again  and people were hustling down to
see what the screaming was all about.  The stretchers
were getting knocked about and I got a quick look of
Tony being dragged away by a big cop as Tony was
screaming and swinging his arms too.  I stumbled and
fell down on the marble floor of the hall pulling two
people down with me as I clawed and screamed trying to
get to Mike on that fucking stretcher.  There was
bedlam  all up and down the hall and from somewhere I
felt a pin prick in my thigh and everything slowed
down and then went black............

I was still dreaming because I saw my father and he
never, ever comes in my room.  Plus nothing is as
quiet as it was in this dream.  My father was talking
to a policeman.  Oddly it was the very same policeman
who I seem to remember was dragging Tony someplace,
sometime.  Or maybe that was a dream too.   I opened
my eyes a little bit more and discovered I wasn't in
my bedroom at all but in a long hallway jammed full of
people who all appeared to be yelling and talking at
the same time,  but I couldn't hear any of them.  How
very strange.  Plus,  I was having trouble moving my
arms and legs.  My headache kept getting worse and
worse the more I woke up from my dream, if it even was
a dream.   How unusual, there was Tony now....and he
was with Joey and Mac standing on the other side of
the windows on those big doors looking in at me. 
There's Kyle and Marty too...I wonder where Mike is..

And just like that a cacophony of  very high pitched
noises came screeching in on me flooding into my head
overwhelming me with sound ....the piercing volume 
hurt my ear drums.   I let out a primal scream that
didn't sound like anything I'd ever heard before ...I
remembered everything!  Mike is dead.  My father and
the cop ran to the side of my stretcher with my father
saying "Please, Richie.  PLEASE hold it in till I can
get you out of here.  "My buddy here", and he flicked
his head over toward the cop.."kept you and your red
headed friend from being arrested earlier."  Officer
Snyder is  a buddy of mine.   When he looked at your
drivers license for ID and realized you're my son he
called me at the casino.    I got off work to come
take you home.  I'm so sorry about your friend."     I
was crying and slobbering now as I looked  into my
dad's face and trying hard to understand what he was
saying... ...When he stopped talking I said,   "Dad,
Mike is dead."  He of course already knew that and my
dad and his cop friend tried to help me get myself
together.  Within a half hour I was able to walk out
of that horrible, nightmare of an emergency room. 
Mike's body was no where in sight.

After some energetic discussion I got permission to
walk the boards with the guys so I could clear my head
and be with friends.   All us guys could share our
grief.  The six of us slowly walked to the bus stop. 
Tony had his arm around my shoulder and I was quiet
and felt extremely weak, but I wanted to be with the
guys.  We all became more animated as the details were
discussed, such as we knew them......  we vented
against the Gonzalez brothers and the other Hispanic
members of their mob.  Mike's brother had indeed shot
Jose, three times in fact, after Jose stabbed Mike. 
We were getting each other worked up and pissed off
that Mike was killed by those hispanic assholes....I
was pretty sure the stabbing had something to do with
Mike and me taunting the Gonzalez brothers on the
boardwalk many weeks ago.  The more I thought about
this the more I began to feel  sick to my stomach.   I
 gagged in a big trash barrel at the bus stop before
actually vomiting into it.  I was a mess.

Our fellow bus riders waiting at the stop with us were
busy pretending we didn't exist.  We were putting out
a lot of "F" bombs and talking very mean and tough by
now.  No one wanted anything to do with us at that bus
stop.  No one wanted anything to do with us on the
boardwalk either.  The negative vibes coming out of
our little crew had all the boardwalk walkers giving
us a wide berth.   We were all very angry and very
sad,  but we didn't know what to do with that anger or
that great sadness.  Mike's murderer was dead.  Mike's
brother and Jose's brother were in jail....we railed
at the moon.  It was a beautiful moon too.....and a
beautiful clear night with a billion stars.  I looked
up at the sky with tears in my eyes and spotted, way
down the boardwalk, the lights from the top of the
Double Shot.

"Tony, I want to ride that fucking Double Shot
tonight..... in honor of Mike!"  He looked at me and
said,  "Sure thing, Richie."   Before long everybody
wanted to ride it for "Mike,  who loved that fucking
ride". We finally had an outlet....we had something to
focus on.    Kyle collected money from guys that had
any and he ran down the boards to get tickets and to
save a place in line for us.    Actually,  you're not
allowed to hold a place in line for someone, never
mind saving places for five people, and there was
explicit signage all over to that effect,  but we
didn't give a shit..... we were doing it.  

We got there, walking slow,  in 20 minutes or so and
Kyle was close to the front of the line with our
tickets....  We walked up, bent under the ropes and
bullied some kids out of the way to get in our places
in line.  A few people started to protest, but a
closer look at us and our bad ass attitudes and they
decided it wasn't worth the trouble....they looked
away and murmured to each other.  A couple of twenty
something year old girls stared hard at us for butting
in front of them in line.  Tough Joey snarled at them,
"You got a problem?" and both girls looked away.  We
were looking for a fight and nobody wanted to
accommodate us.  We were all very challenging as we
looked around at the other people there.....we were 
looking for anything or anybody to provoke us.  No
takers.......

The Double Shot has four sides with eight seats on
each side.  The six of us used the middle six seats of
the side facing the ocean and no body wanted to use
the remaining two end seats...I heard some guy say
"We'll wait for the next ride".  We were putting out
enough negative feelings to make people uncomfortable.
 When I was strapped in I began to ball and cry a
blubbery cry thinking that I should have done this
with Mike.... he'd asked me to go on the ride with him
so many times.  Why couldn't I have done it with him
once...just one fucking time?

I couldn't get Mike's beautiful face out of my mind
and the tears came flowing down, big fat, warm tears
rolling down and dripping off my chin.   No one said a
word to me.....it was  as though I were invisible. 
Very soon I was way up in the sky and my sandals and
stomach were back on earth.  At the top of the Double
Shot I could see forever... way, way out to where the
horizon met the ocean....... my bare feet dangled in
space.  I didn't give a shit about anything.  I was
too busy crying and blubbering out "I'm so sorry,
Mike!" over and over again.  I should have gone on
this god damned ride with him.

Quickly I was dropped out of the sky about 70 feet
only to immediately fly back up to the top.  Surely we
were going too fast now and we'd all be hurled off
into the night...I didn't care...but no, we were
flying down again to crash, this time, on the cement
base of that fucking Double Shot ride.  But no again,
the hydraulic mechanism stopped us three feet from the
concrete and then let us slowly down to stop flat on
the ground....all safe and sound.   My energy was
totally gone by now and after getting soft drinks with
the guys and promising to meet together tomorrow on
the boards, I said good night.  Tony walked with me
down to my exit ramp off the boardwalk.   Then after a
long hug with Tony and another crying jag I walked 
that 40 minute walk from the boardwalk to my house.  I
was as as deep into sadness and heartache as it's
possible to be..........

As I walked that long walk I thought of how Mike came
into my life when I was feeling that everything was
all gray, boring and lonely.  I thought my life
sucked.  Before too very long Mike changed all that! 
My life became one of brilliant colors...like that
rainbow we saw after our thunder storm.  He showed me
my sexuality and brought me to higher and higher
levels of exquisite feelings of joy and excitement. 
All feelings of being fully and wonderfully alive.  
He improved my life in ways that I'd never imagined
existed.  He was finding himself along the way
too..... and he had changed from being just dominate,
confidant and arrogant to become a wonderful loving
friend.  A friend that I loved heart and soul and who
I always wanted to be with.... these kinds of thoughts
got me sobbing softly as I walked, but I thought I was
almost out of tears for this night.  I'd never, ever
been this tired or heart broken and the sadness was so
deep I felt hollow........like I was a shell,   ready
to crumble.

Before going up on the boardwalk right after that
emergency room nightmare,  my dad had explained that
the cop who kept Tony and me from being arrested was
one of my dad's 'bar fly cronies'.    And he'd told me
that the lady Doctor had given me a shot of something
to knock me out "before you hurt yourself...she had no
choice".  None of that meant anything to me now.   I
thought only about Mike being dead.  

I saw the lights were on in our house as I walked up
the street so I knew Dad was home.   That was a first,
but I was very appreciative of his concern for me, as
well as for his kindness and his help.   Inside we had
cokes and talked quietly.   He told me about losing
his best friend in high school, many years ago.  They
were into under age drinking and driving.  One night
they'd had too many beers and my dad  fell asleep at
the wheel, drove into a tree  and his best friend was
killed in the accident.  Dad escaped with only a
broken little finger.   He never has forgiven himself.
  He said he knows the pain of losing a best friend. 
He cried some telling the story and we hugged each
other for the first time in our lives...  It meant a
lot to me that he was trying to get my mind off my
sadness, if only for a short while.

Before going out he said, "Oh yeah Richie, Mrs
Sullivan called.  Mike's mom.  She is devastated
obviously....what  with the one son dead and the other
in jail.  She's at her sister's barely conscious, but
she said she felt strongly about this one thing.  She
wants you to have Mike's motorbike.  She was crying so
hard, Richie,  I could barely understand her.  It
seems Mike was constantly telling her that you were
the best friend he ever had.    She said he was always
talking and bragging about you.  He was looking
forward to going to High School for the first time
ever  because you guys might be in some of the same
classes."       

My Dad went on to tell me that Mike's mom felt she had
seen a nice change in Mike recently.  He was smiling
more and seemed much calmer and even happy.  Mike's
mom thinks that I was a wonderful influence on him. 
She can't bear to have the bike around so she has
signed the title over to me.  The title and the key
are in the little storage compartment on the bike. 
Dad  told me I  can pick the bike up whenever I feel
up to it.  "She said to tell you thanks for being such
a positive factor and such a wonderful friend in her
youngest son's short life."        I staggered into my
bedroom after nodding my head with thanks and then on
my bed.... on Mike's and my bed..... I discovered I
wasn't out of tears after all....I cried hysterically
all over again and literally cried myself to sleep.

I slept from nine to nine, twelve hours.  When I
dragged myself out of bed to get my Dad's stuff at the
convenience store I felt like I was drugged......and I
guess I had been by that doctor.  My dad had to go
into work,  but before he left I told him my plans for
the day.  He said, "Sure, whatever you want Richie. 
Be brave....I know I don't have to say, be good.  You
are a real good kid and I'm proud of you."  We hugged
then....for the second time in our lives.  I guess I
should give credit to Mike for bringing my dad and me
together along with everything else Mike's done for
me.  Tears dripped out of my eyes but, after last
night and all.......well,  I figured I must be pretty
much cried out by now.

After I did my chores I walked to Mike's condo and
picked up his bike.  He had let me ride it by myself a
half dozen times and I could ride it fine.   I rode
the bike to Mike's favorite barber shop.  He'd taken
me by it many times trying to talk me into a buzz
haircut like all the guys had.  I should have done
that for him too, but I didn't.  I walked in the shop
and the middle aged barber looked apprehensive.  Then
he said,   "I knew that motorbike sound is Mike
Sullivan's bike.  I heard what happened to him though
so it naturally startled me to hear the bike just
now.....  You a friend of his?"  I told him Mike and I
were the most special best friends in the world and in
honor of Mike I wanted the same haircut he always got.
 I told him I wanted to go to Mike's funeral with my
other buddies.  We'll be together and all look the
same.  Just like Mike.

He said "Yeah, sure thing", but he was  looking at me
a little strangely.  The haircut took only about five
minutes.  Almost all my hair was gone.  I got out of
the chair and reached in my pocket for money and the
barber said, "Oh no..no, no, no  That's on me, no
problem.  Please, no charge...."  It was very unusual,
 but I just mumbled a thank you and walked toward the
door.  On the way I looked to my left at the full
length mirror to see the haircut.  I looked just like
all the guys except that my face was bright red and
covered in dripping  tears and mucus and spit...I'd
apparently been quietly crying and blubbering again
from the time I walked in and all through the hair
cut.  I didn't even realize it, but it scared the
barber some .  He must have been nervous about what
I'd do next and he just wanted to move me along out of
there.  I gave him one last look and then pulled up
the front of my T shirt off my belly and wiped my face
with it the best I could.

It was a cloudy day and very muggy.  Riding on Mike's
bike and  feeling the warm air against my scalp was a
very different thing.  I though that this is what Mike
always felt.  The buzz cut was 1/4 inch long, not
shaved... ..  it was just like Mike's.  As I rode his
bike I felt better about having his haircut  because
now I looked more like him.  It felt good to look more
like Mike and I hated myself for not doing this for
him when he was alive.  Why had I been so selfish? 
I'd told him once that my father wouldn't let me get a
buzz cut, but that was a lie.  I just didn't want one.
 

The clouds quickly got thicker and in a few minutes I
knew I was going to be caught in another thunder
storm.  Sure enough,  a few fat splats of rain and
then the skies opened up and the rain came pouring
down .... hard.  It pinged off my shorn head and I
thought   "so this is how it felt for Mike during our
thunder storm" that time not so long ago.     Our
thunder storm that got us started together and that
ended up with......... love.   

Mike's 'spirit' must have waited for me with his body
at the hospital on that stretcher to tell me he loved
me and then it flew away..... I guess  to be with his
soul in the sky. The orderly said he was 'Dead On
Arrival' about 15 minutes before I got there.   That
may be so but,  I know what I heard at the
hospital.... I heard Mike's voice and I saw his finger
marks on my hand as he squeezed it tight.  Mike wasn't
alive then  I suppose..... it  was just his spirit
waited there with Mike's body.......waiting for me so
it could tell me what Mike wanted me to hear......... 
     
  "keep living your life my cute,  best friend ever
 ....and  just in case you don't know it, Richie ....I
love you! "


the end

fiction by...........Donny


     RICHIE AND MIKE'S POEM


      I want to say "I love you" as I go
      Mike said those words to me real low

      to him I whispered "yes, now I know
      we loved each other from head to toe"

      he grinned at that and said " try looking past
the norm
      while contemplating our thunderstorm

      the brilliant lights we saw that day
      are guiding us in some special way

      that brightness will always be yours and mine
      from that first day until the end of time

      and it will forever be so,
      BUT DON'T STOP LIVING WHEN I GO!"

      I thought...
      what a wonderful remark
      I'll keep my eyes wide open in the dark

      LOOKING FOR ANOTHER RAINBOW........*



*last three lines re arranged words from a Van
Morrison song
  
hope you enjoyed my story......Donny













 
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