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From: rache <rache696@yahoo.com>
Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.d
Subject: {ASSD} Snakeoil ...Is that a funny word or what?
Date: Sun, 31 Aug 2008 20:51:24 -0700
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Copyright 2008 Rachael Ross all rights reserved
"Carrie! You absolutely have to meet Mr. Merlin!" Doris gushed and I
wondered how much she'd been drinking. Not enough, believe me.
"Can I take my coat off first?" Carrie wondered, giving me a little
look and I shrugged.
"Oh. Hello Greg, I didn't see you standing there," Doris pretended to
notice me and I didn't bother with a reply. I totally hated my
girlfriend's sorority and they knew it.
They were always doing something flaky and half of those mixed up
college coeds were going to end up drinking Kool-Aide in some cult if
they weren't careful. They had these stupid parties with some guest of
honor who was always selling something you weren't supposed to buy.
Enlightenment. Happiness. Motivation. Love. It was like they'd never
even heard of the Beatles and I could have sworn that I'd heard
someplace that sororities were wild, wacky, and uncensored pits of
female depravity. I'd been all in favor of that and kind of excited
about Carrie's joining the Pi Eta Pi House at first. But these girls
were just wacked and they could have been holistic crystal-worshipping
Quakers for all the fun they had.
"You're not serving Kool-Aide tonight, are you?" I asked Doris and
that got me another look from my girlfriend. A dirty one.
"Come on," Doris was tugging at Carrie's hand. "Mr. Merlin is
fantastic!"
"…and after my sojourn to the Himalayas, where I spent three years
learning at the feet of the Dalai Lama himself, I decided to use my
bountiful wisdom to benefit others."
"Ohhh!" a dozen young women said at once.
"Isn't he divine?" Dora asked in wonder.
"He looks like Larry King," I decided. "Where's the beer?"
"What you ladies must understand is that the human mind is the most
powerful muscle in your body. It controls all other functions. By
reaching deep, deep into the center of the brain it's possible to
transcend the artificial limitations of the body over the spirit.
Anything becomes possible."
"Anything?" a woman asked.
"Anything!" Mr. Merlin agreed.
"Can you make my boobs bigger?" another woman asked to the laughter of
her friends.
"I can and have done precisely that!" Mr. Merlin stated. "I've helped
thousands of men and women change themselves for the better. You see,
it really isn't up to me and my amazing insights into the human
psyche, it's your own strength of will and determination that dictates
who you are."
"What do you do for men?" someone asked him and Mr. Merlin smiled.
"Ladies, do you know the old saying that size doesn't matter?" he
asked and there was a lot of head nodding and nervous giggling. "And
how many of you really believe that?"
Nobody's hand went up and I frowned, glancing down instinctively and
then I caught Carrie's blue eyes and she gave me what might have
almost passed for a reassuring smile.
"Well," Mr. Merlin smiled and nodded his head with apparent
satisfaction. "I can assure you that size does in fact not matter…If…I
say, If your man is willing to let me help him. I can add three inches
to any man, quite easily, and most often much, much more than that!"
"Ohhh!" the women gasped.
"Three more inches?" Carrie grabbed my arm excitedly. "Greg! That
would make you twice as big, honey!"
"Thanks," I said under my breath since several women, including Doris
had obviously heard her.
"Oh, I don't believe that," some redheaded Doubting Thomasina was
shaking her head. "You can't change a man's DNA, come on!"
To her dissension several other voices were added and I just rolled my
eyes. Could common sense really prevail for once? The crowd was
turning against the amazing Mr. Merlin and he held up his hands for
silence.
"How about a demonstration?" someone said and to my surprise I
realized it was Carrie and I blushed as a roomful of attractive young
women were obviously sizing me up with dubious frowns.
"Oh," Mr. Merlin's face took on a grim look. "Adding inches takes
time. It isn't something that can be done in five minutes or even
overnight. It can take months of hard and dedicated work to modify the
physique."
"Yeah, right," the red head laughed. "That's what they all say."
"I can…" Mr. Merlin held up his hands again and waited patiently. "I
can, however, show you proof that what I say is true. If you'll pardon
my blunt immodesty…"
The room was silent while the stern looking Mr. Merlin unzipped his
trousers and much to my own shock, as well as most everyone else's I'd
suspect, the man produced at least nine inches of flaccid penis. Nine
inches soft and hanging free between his legs like an elephant's
trunk. A collective gasp went through the audience.
"I can assure you, ladies, that I was not always so well endowed," Mr.
Merlin said. "It's quite real, go ahead, miss…Feel it. I have to warn
you though, it has quite an appetite for pretty red heads like
yourself!"
"Oh my God!" the red headed girl, who couldn't have been more than
nineteen, had knelt in front of the man and now she held his
thickening love muscle with both of her trembling hands.
"Is it real?" Mr. Merlin asked smugly.
"It's hot! It's heavy! It's…Oh my God! It's getting hard!" the woman
told everyone else and that wasn't exactly news.
It was obvious to all of us there that Mr. Merlin's cock was
stiffening appreciably, growing even longer and thicker as the red
head stroked the impossibly long shaft between her fists.
"Once upon a time," Mr. Merlin said, standing with his legs apart and
his hands balled into fists on his hips, "I was only four inches long.
Yes! It's true. Four inches on a good day and needless to say I wasn't
a very happy young man."
"Get a tape measure!" some girl yelled.
"Suck it!" some other girl giggled.
"But after my intensive studies at the University of Katmandu, I
learned how to focus my will power and change that part of me which I
detested," Mr. Merlin smiled as the red head stretched her mouth wide
and took the head of his cock into her eager mouth. "By using the
unique and sublime properties of the Burning Lotus to achieve deep
consciousness; by performing the Mantra of the Seven Dragons to reach
a level of existence unimagined by mortal men; I was able to turn my
pathetic manhood into something worthy of my piquant desires…Suck it,
you whore! Worship my almighty cock!"
With that, Mr. Merlin was holding the red head by her hair, pulling
her loud shloppy mouth down on his cock while he fucked his turgid
prick into her throat. If his attitude or actions offended any of the
women present, they gave no sign of it. Everywhere I looked I could
see only lust filled faces watching Mr. Merlin's cock with rapt
attention. Most of the coeds licked their lips in sympathy with their
red headed friend. They swallowed as if they too were taking what had
to be a foot of hard cock into their delicate throats. Some of those
girls fondled their bodies, squeezing their breasts and rubbing their
crotches through their clothing. At least four girls had paired off to
find greater pleasure in each other, although their eyes were
continually drawn back to Mr. Merlin and his huge cock.
"Oh oh ohhhh!" Carrie was breathing hard, her face turned pink as she
pressed her hand against the front of my jeans.
My girlfriend was cumming, I suddenly realized. They all were. Nearly
two dozen college coeds exploding with orgasms all around me. The air
was ripe with their smell, rich and musky, tangy as the heavy air
settled on my tongue. They were getting off on this Larry King looking
carpetbagger just because he had a silver tongue and huge dick? This
was insane! I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it with my
own two eyes. If I hadn't been standing next to my girlfriend when her
own unmistakable climax brought a burst of unhappy pain to my own
smallish cock and tender balls.
"Owww! Fuck!" I went weak in the knees as Carrie's fist squeezed my
genitals hard! I'm sure she wasn't aware of it. The girl could barely
stay on her feet.
"Worthless little dick…" she breathed and let me go with a vague look
that seemed two parts accusation and one part reluctant apology. Then
she was cumming again and I just limped out of the room to find some
ice.