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From: classic rider <classicrider14@excite.com>
Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.d
Subject: Reflections on the Black Boy as a Body
Date: Wed, 02 May 2007 00:50:45 -0700
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Reflections on the Black Boy as a Body
I think about this often. There is a process that takes place in the
person's mind who starts out thinking of himself as a human being but
is gradually reduced to seeing himself as he is seen through other
people's eyes - as a mere object. His mother and siblings may treat
him as a person, as might his aunts and other friends of the family.
He has heard about racism, but unless he is unshielded from its
sharpest ideological realities it doesn't really register with him on
the deepest levels of his psyche.
Yes, one can grow up in poverty - and that may be a consequence of
racism. One may be watched, as a child, more closely by store clerks
than his white counterparts are - and that may be a consequence of
stereotyping and racial prejudice. But to see oneself as others see
one, and to deeply internalize it; I don't believe that this happens
before the black boy reaches the age of 13, at the very earliest.
There are levels of internalization, of course. Maybe the most
rudimentary internalization occurs before a black child reaches pre-
adolescence, but a black child - like any other child - is not very
good at seeing himself as others see him, especially if the way others
see him is sharply different from his self-perception. In fact, most
adults (black or white) are not good at doing this.
For racism - as an ideology and an identity - to be internalized by
the black child that child would have to endure the shock of seeing
himself as others see him; and in a way that is vastly different from
how he sees himself. I think this always comes as a shock because he
really doesn't understand how someone else could see him that way. At
first he rebels; but if the social pressures are strong and persistent
enough, he gradually acquiesces.
A black boy grows up seeing himself as a human being. He knows that
racism is "out there" and he knows that it is "ugly." He knows that
some people see him as less than human or, if human, as a lower level
of humanity. But so long as most of his social encounters consist of
loving family members, his church and his friends - people who are
always on the lookout for his "self-esteem," teachers (black or white)
and social workers, ministers, etc. Then, for the most part he will
see himself as a person and not as an object no matter what some
disembodied "racists" might think.
But then he encounters a white man, who seems reasonable in all other
respects, but who refuses to treat him as anything other than a body.
It can be an employer, a teacher, or a police officer - this person
refuses to interact with that black boy as anything other than a
body.
Think back. Do you recall how you felt when you first left home? You
set up your own place, away from your parents. You started to define
your own set of values - you picked your own friends, no matter what
your parents thought of them. You created your own identity. Now, with
your new set of friends, your new living space, your new ideas, your
new values and your new identity you thought that you were prepared to
boldly return to your parents home during a holiday - and you would
impress them with how changed and mature you had become. And once you
got "home" - home to your parents' house - they wouldn't stop treating
you like the little boy you were before you left the house. Try as you
might to assert your new identity, you were still (if you were the
youngest) the "baby" of the household. You were still little Johnny or
little Evan or little Michael. Gradually it was you who had to adjust
to your parents' perception of you - because they were in a more
powerful position to gently and ever-so-lovingly enforce this
perception. They were older and not given to change even if they
wanted to. You were the one who had to make the adjustment in your
perception of reality.
I think that is what the shock of racism is like when it is finally
internalized by black boys. The black boy who falls in love with the
white girl and truly believes that the girl loves him for his
personality - and in part she does. But then it comes out in instance
after instance that, above all, she sees him as a hot black body - and
he begins to see himself as being nothing more than a hot black body.
You see the awkward black boy - just turned 18 - it is his first time
that he is allowed into the porn video store. He timidly makes his way
into the back where all the nasty old men are. They leer at him -
fresh meat. He cautiously slides into the booth to watch a movie and
finds that there are no doors on it - or, if there are doors, there
are great big "glory holes" in the wall.
He timidly strokes himself off thinking that no one is watching. Then,
out of the darkness, he hears someone whisper, "Yeah, let me see that
big black cock. Show me that nigger cock. Yeah, boy - stroke that meat
for me."
The boy becomes flustered. He didn't know anyone was watching. He
wasn't even sure anyone would want to watch. He quickly fastens his
pants and rushes out of the movie house in embarrassment. But this is
not the end of the story. He comes back a week later. The same thing
happens. This time, though, he stays a little longer, but still he is
uneasy. The following week he stays longer still. Eventually he's
egging the white men on. He's waving around that big black cock while
the white men hoot, "Yeah, let's see that big nigger dick." He's proud
of it. He sees it as an asset. He's proud that white men think of him
as a big nigger cock boy.
This is transformation. One might also use the term "corruption."
Either term will do - they both mean the same thing, except one
attaches a moral judgment to it. And isn't morality implicit in the
act of crafting stories?
So, what happens in the mind of a black male - and this is certainly
not all black males - who finally acquiesces to the idea that he is
not really a mind so much as he is a body; a body to be admired - a
body to be exploited - like on the basketball court or in a porn
video?
Many black males these days grow up thinking of themselves as being
merely (or primarily) a body. Many of them embrace this self-image. It
is not a loving mother or adult friends of the family who shape their
self-image, but images in mass media - particularly music videos. They
grow up thinking that they are destined to become Chingy, or Snoop, or
P. Diddy, or fiddy cent. They grow up thinking they are to become one
of these media constructed images or nothing at all. And their primary
asset is their body, not their mind.
And so, it is no wonder that I used to see young black boys in those
movie booths (this was back in the early-to-mid 1990s, before VCRs and
DVDs and the Internet became all the rage and kept people at home to
privately consume most of their porn). It was no wonder I saw young
black boys being pushed up against those dark walls while an older
hairy white man was holding their smooth dark bodies and humping
inside their tight asses. It was no wonder the boys took special pride
in being used in this way. They had defined themselves as being
nothing but a body - and their body was their greatest asset.
One of the hottest (if also saddest) scenes I saw in one of those
movie booths was when a white business man, with a starched shirt and
tie, approached a hopeful black lad and told the boy to drop his
pants. The boy dropped his pants, hoping to impress the white man with
is thick black cock, but the man sneered at him and said, "No - turn
around and show me your ass." The boy seemed confused but he slowly
did what the man said. The white man seemed transformed in a most
Satanic way. I am telling you he totally lost his mind. He grabbed
that black boy by the waist and humped so furiously in that black
boy's ass that I think he forgot who and where he was or what it was
he was fucking. And the expression on the black boy's face was
heartbreaking. His eyes welled up with confusion and tears. His face
registered disgust and humiliation. I don't even believe there was a
monetary transaction here - I didn't see any signs of it. I think the
black boy had accepted his identity as a body, but he thought the most
impressive aspect of his body was his cock; but clearly the most
impressive part of his body for this particular white man was his
smooth bubble butt black ass.
There was something in seeing the black boy's bare ass that drove the
white man beyond the brink. The amazing thing was that the black boy,
clearly not expecting or enjoying this kind of "action" - and
apparently not even being paid for it - allowed the white man to bring
his sexual passion to its full fruition in that black boy's ass.
Somewhere along the way that black boy learned to think of himself as
being a body - but on that very night he also learned to allow the
white man to define how that body was to be used and what parts of
that body would be used for what purposes. Maybe the white man wasn't
into black cock because it signified too much power and appeared to be
too much of a threat - so he went after boy's black pussy instead.
Still, you should have seen the expression on that black boy's face
when he realized how that white man intended to use him.
One of the erotic fiction series I enjoy reading on the Internet is
the Stampley Plantation http://nifty.nisusnet.com/nifty/gay/historical/adventures-of-stampley-plantation/.
I think of little Elijah in the Stampley series. What is the
transformation that takes place in that little black boy's mind as it
gradually dawns on him that in the slave owner James' eyes the boy is
mostly an object to be used for that white man's sexual gratification?
Elijah doesn't have to like it in order to understand and accept it.
The transformation is that he gradually understands and accepts his
new role - again, this does not mean that he has to like it. One of
the most striking incidents in the Stampley series, so far, is when
little Elijah is being buggered by James, after having been trained to
give his master what his master expects of him. James is ruthlessly
fucking the little boy's ass and he asks the boy, "What are you?" And
little Elijah meekly answers, "Ise just a stupid, dirty nigger, ah
suppose..."
Is this sad? Yes, it is very sad. Does it still give me a raging hard-
on every time I read it? Does it rain in Portland Oregon?
I have been exploring the theme of black boys becoming objects for
white men in my stories for awhile now. There is very little in
fiction that is entirely fictional - very little fiction is invented
out of thin air. Each of my stories was inspired by an observation or
an actual encounter - and the distortion in the lens of the fiction
may have even served to bring out something that is more truthful than
a literal rendition of what actually occurred would have been. So, not
being entirely fiction, my stories tapped into a deeper energy - I
will not say it was a positive or a negative energy - I will leave
that up to ethicists to decide (I have my own judgments about it). My
stories tapped into an energy that is real and not imagined. The great
danger of writing fiction, or any other stories, is that the writer is
transformed in writing the story. This may be for the better; if our
stories are uplifting; but it may also be for the worse, if our
stories are not. And so, as writers and readers we become more and
more willing to try out things that we were not so willing to try out
before we started writing about it and reading what others have
written.
This also may be called a process of "corruption."
As the late Kurt Vonnegut put in the mouth of one of his fictional
characters, "You must be very careful about what you pretend to be, or
you may wake up one day to discover that is what you have actually
become."
If it is "corruption" for a black boy to wake up one day and discover
that much of the world does not see him as an embodied soul - a
combination of both a mind and a body - but insists on constantly
treating him as if he were only a body until he finally "wises up" and
acquiesces to this socially constructed reality, then it is also
"corruption" for a white man to wake up one day after years of
thinking in terms of racial physical exploitation to find that he is
willing to practice it when the opportunity presents itself, and to
engineer such opportunities when they do not readily occur.
That white men have the power to subjugate black boys and men is
beyond question (this, of course does not mean EVERY black boy or
man). That it is right for white men to do so simply because they have
the power to do it - well, that is another question. It is a question
that pivots on deeper question: What is the source or the basis of the
values that one subscribes to? It is the kind of question that should
make moral relativists very uneasy.